01x13 - Little Beach Party

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: Are you ready?

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪

♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪

♪ Do I look good today? ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

GIRL: Hey, Zoey?

I have my English exam tomorrow
morning.

Can I borrow your notes?
Mine are lame.

- Sure, come by my dorm
and pick them up later.

Room 101.

- Thanks! Ciao!

- Hey, Mark.
How'd your history exam go?

[Mark sobs]

Better luck next semester!

Dear mom and dad,

well, my first semester at

PCA is almost over.

It's been awesome,

but now we have exams

so everyone's, like,
freaking out,

especially me
'cause all my friends

keep asking me
to help them study.

First, I had to
help Nicole with history.

- So, President Lincoln

was assassinated by Gerald Ford

while sitting in a booth.

- No.

Lincoln was assassinated
by John Wilkes Booth

at the Ford Theatre.

- Hey, you know who's cute?
Ricky Ford.

He's in my
theatre class, and he has 9

chest hairs.

Uh-huh.

- Then I had to
help Michael

study for his algebra exam.

- Wait. Tell me the quadratic
formula one more time.

- X equals negative B

plus or minus the square root of

B-squared minus 4AC over 2A.

- Ok.

Tell me the quadratic formula
one more time.

- Then I had to help Quinn

with her French.

Ok, omelette du fromage

means...?

- Cheese omelette?
- Right!

- Ok, now how would I say,

"I melted my father's sports
car?"

- Why?

- I did that.

- Then Logan asked me to

help him get ready for his

English exam.

Remember, a haiku is a poem with


then 7 syllables,

then 5 syllables,

and they don't rhyme.

Now give it a try.

- Ok.

Um...

handsome guy, I am.

Everyone knows I am hot.

Girls want to kiss me.

How was that?

- Nauseating.

Even Dustin wanted me to help

him study, and let me tell you,

it's not fun helping
your little

brother with geometry.

Now tell me how you calculate

the area of a trapezoid.

- Will you tell me where
babies come from?

- Absolutely not.

Anyway, the good news is--

- Hey, Zo, listen,
I got my

biology exam this afternoon.

So would you help me go over the

whole recessive, dominant gene
thing?

- Sure. Sit.

Ok, I have brown eyes, right?

- Right.

- That's a dominant gene.

You have green eyes.

- Green eyes.

- That's a recessive gene.
- Ok.

- So if we ever got
married

and had a baby, there's a 75%

chance he'd have brown eyes and

a 25% chance he'd have green
eyes.

- Are you asking me to
marry you?

- You want to be serious?

- Ok, ok.
Brown eyes are dominant

and green eyes are recessive.

- Hey, Zoey, later on,
would

you help me study for my
chemistry exam?

- [groans]

- Ok, I'll ask someone
else.

- Little tense, are you?

- Well, everyone keeps asking me
to help them study

and I want to be nice,

but I have my own exams too,
you know,

and it's not like anyone
offers to

help me study and I just don't--

- All right, all right.

Shh. Just calm down.

Exams are over tomorrow

morning and then we get to go

to the best party, like, ever.

- Is it really awesome?

- The best.
Mystic beach is incredible.

We get to play volleyball,

go boogie boarding,

we have this big cookout.

- Hey, Zoey, Chase,

what's going on?

- What's doin'?

- Grading exams.

I've already gone through,

like, 9 red pens.

- Yikes.

[cell phone rings]
- What is that?

- Oh, that's my new
cell phone.

- Cool ring tone.

- Thanks.
It gets even cooler.

It's got two-way visual calling,

and that's my wife.

Hi, honey. Look.

- David, you left your

underwear on the floor again.

- Uh, gotta call
you back.

TEACHER: All right, students.

Exam week is officially over.

KIDS: Whoo!

- Yeah! Yes!

- Zoey, hey!

- Hey, look at you in
your

cute little swimsuit.

- Thanks.
Would it be ok

if I rode down to the beach

in you guys' bus?

- Yeah, sure, if it's ok
with the teacher.

- Ok, people, you got to

check this out!

- Uh-oh. What now?

- You're not gonna blow
us up, are you?

- No...though I could.

Anyway, I finished my chemistry

exam in, like, 10 minutes.

So since I had some extra time,

I combined a few chemicals and

accidentally created an aroma

that smells exactly like
coconut!

- Cool.

But no one cares.

- Oh, come one, just
sniff it.

- Wow, that does smell
like coconut.

- I know, isn't it cool?

- Man, I feel like
taking a nap.

CHASE: What?

Man, we can't sleep.

We gotta...oh, we gotta...

[gentle guitar music]

♪ ♪

[cell phone rings]

- Hello?

No, this isn't Achmed.

Wrong number.



Zoey! Chase!

Logan! Dana! Wake up!

- [yawns]

What happened?

- We all fell asleep!

- It must be an effect
of

my synthetic coconut aroma.

That's weird.

- So are you.

- What time is it?

- 11:46.

- What?
The last bus for

Mystic Beach leaves at noon!

- How are we gonna get
there in 14 minutes?

- We have to. Come on.

- Go, go, go, go, go!

- Dustin, wake up! Come
on!

Why is he still sleeping?

- Probably because he's

younger and smaller, so it'll

take a little while longer for

the effects to wear off.

- Well, that's very nice,

but we don't have time for that.

- I'll take him!

- We're gonna go get our
stuff

and meet you guys at the bus.

- Right.

ALL: Wait! Stop!

- Wait for us!

Wait!

Stop!

Argh! Come on!

- Wait!

- Wait! Stop!

- Well, now what are we
gonna do?

- Can't someone else take
us?

- That was the last bus.

- Man, the whole
school's

on their way to Mystic Beach.

- We'll just call a cab.

- A cab?
Mystic Beach is,

like, 55 miles from here.

- You know how much a cab
would cost?

- Oh, gee, if only we
knew

somebody with a very rich daddy

and his very rich daddy's credit
card.

Cell phone, please.

Relax, children.

We'll be at that party
in no time.

- All right! Yeah!

- Here we come!

- Whoo! We're here!

- Mystic Beach, here
we come!

- All right, here we
are!

- Mystic Beach, look
out!

- Yes!

- Ok, where is everybody?

- Maybe we're the first
ones here.

- No, we left after
everyone else.

{\an5}- Then where's the PCA
party?

- Oh, hey, I think the
kid's starting to wake up.

- Wh--where am I?

- We're at Mystic Beach.

- Where is everybody?

- We're trying to
figure that out.

- Are you sure you gave
the

cab driver the right directions?

- Yes. I googled it.

Mystic Beach is exactly


of PCA.

- No, it's not.

Mystic Beach is south of PCA.

- Dustin, are you sure?

- Who you gonna trust?

Me or pretty boy?

- Look, you little kid--

- Hey, don't yell at
him, all right?

This is your fault!

Now we're 2 hours away from the

party, stuck in the middle of

nowhere on a deserted beach,

and I'm extremely sad about it!

- Will you chill?
- Not really!

- Guys, let's not get
upset about it.

We have our cell phones.

We'll just call someone
and get a ride.

- The girl says good
things.

- Uh-oh.
I got no signal here.

Zo?

- No bars. You got bars?

- No service.

- Well, this is just
great.

- Come on, I'm sure
Zoey 's

got a plan here.

What you thinking, Zo?

- Well, I'm thinking...

we're 2 hours away from the

party, stuck in the middle of

nowhere on a deserted beach, and

I'm extremely sad about it!

- Ok, I got to rest.

- Me, too.

- Ok, let's sit down for
a sec.

- How long have we been
walking?

- Over an hour.

- Cell phone check.

- No bars.

- None.

- Not a bar.

- So what do we do now?

- Keep walking?

- Why? We don't even
know

if we're heading in the right
direction.

- We should just stay
put

and wait for someone to come

along and find us.

- Ok.

But I'm gonna go look

around a little bit.

- Look for what?

- I don't know, a pay
phone,

a person, maybe a coconut to hit

you with for getting us into
this.

- Hey, if it wasn't for
me,

we'd all still be stuck back at
school.

- You mean where
there's

buildings and air conditioning

and cell phone reception?

- Ok, ok! Let's not
argue.

Let's just all look around and

see what we can find.

- I found an inner
tube.

- I found some old rope.

- I found some broken old

fishing pole.

- I found sand.

- Ok, this is
officially horrible.

After a whole week of

exams, this is our day of fun?

- I know! And, like,

somewhere 2 hours away from

here, every student at PCA is

whooping it up, and we're...not.

- I was supposed to be

boogie boarding right now.

There's no boogie here.

- You're lucky. I'm the

one who was dragged here
unconscious.

- You weren't
unconscious.

You were sleeping involuntarily.

- Whatever.

- This is such a
suckish

way to end the semester.

- Totally.

- I know.

- Come on, guys! We
worked

our butts off on those exams.

- Yeah, we did.

- And we came here to
party

on the beach, right?

ALL: Yeah!

- Ok, then. Michael, you
got

your MP3 player, right?
- Yup.

- And, Dana, you got
batteries in that boom box?

- Uh-huh.
- All right, then.

Let's
crank up some music and quit

being a bunch of lame losers.

- Yeah!

- Let's shake up this

beach and get this party
started!

[all cheering]

[surfing music]

♪ ♪

- Yeah!
- Awesome!

- That was so much fun!

- You know, guys, I hate
to

be a downer, but we are still

stuck out here.

- I wish our stupid cell
phones would work.

- Hey, you know, I
totally forgot.

I have my
laptop in my book bag.

- Oh, you serious, dude?

Go get it!

- Wait. Why do we need
his computer?

- Because if we can pick
up

a network, we can instant

message someone to come find us

and get us out of here.

- Dude, if our cell
phones

don't get reception, what makes

you think we'll be able to IM?

- You got a better idea?

- Hey, Dustin, come out
of the water!

You're gonna shrivel
up like a prune!

- No, I'm not coming
out!

- Why not?

- A big wave knocked
off

my bathing suit!

- Well, where is it?

- If I knew, would I be

naked from the waist down?

- Look, you're gonna have
to

come out eventually!

- I'll come out when
you

find me some pants!

- You getting a signal?

- No, just sand up my
butt.

But I just figured

something out. If you turn it

like--
- [screams]

- What?

- I have an idea.

- Is it about how to
restart my heart?

- No. But if you let me
use

your laptop and one of you guys

lets me use your cell phone, I

can combine the circuits and

boost the RF output with the

computer's battery!

- And that means...?

- I can probably triple
the

cell phone's range so we can

make a phone call!

- Awesome!

- But I don't want you

tearing apart my laptop.

- This cell phone is
like my child.

- Do you want to stay
here

tonight and freeze to death?

- This shouldn't take
long.

- You know, even if
Quinn

can make that work, it's still

gonna be a long time before

someone comes and gets us.

- Yeah, and I'm
starving.

- Yeah, me, too.

- Come on, Logan, Chase.

Let's go catch some fish.

- And what are we supposed
to use for bait?

- You're a boy.
Go dig up some worms.

- Gross!

- Come on, I'll protect
you

from the worms.

- Wait! What are we

supposed to do?

- Build a fire.

- How?

- Figure it out.

- You guys build that
fire.

I'm gonna be working on my
tan.

- Pretty good, huh?

- Really good.

- Yeah! So how do we

light it?

- I don't know.

- No idea.

- All right, let's
think.

We're in the middle of nowhere,

no matches, no lighter.

How do
we start a fire?

ALL: Quinn!

- Yeah?

- How do you start a
fire?

- Anybody got a mirror?

- Check Logan's
backpack.

- Leave it to Logan to
bring

a mirror to the beach.

- Gimme.

- Nothing's happening.

- Wait for it.

There you go.

- She may be weird,
but

she comes in handy.

- You know, usually, I

don't like fish, but this fish

rocks! Doesn't this fish rock?

- This fish rocks.

- Hey! Can I have some
fish?

- Sure!

- Thank you!

- You know, this day

started out pretty suckish.

But
I really had fun.

- So you girls aren't

bummed that you missed the big

PCA Mystic Beach after-exam

party tradition?

- No, we started our own
tradition.

- Yeah, I say we do
this

every semester after exams.

- A toast. To our new
after-exam tradition!

ALL: Cheers!

- Cheers!

- Cheers!

- I got it! I think I've

increased the cell phone's range

by over 400%.

- Aw, my cell phone.

- My laptop!

- Oh, quit whining.

Now who should I call?

- Call a bathing suit
store!

- Just call someone
because

it's gonna be dark soon.

- Hey, I know who we
should call.

- Mr. Bender?
- Yup!

- He's a teacher.

- He's a cool teacher.

His number's programmed into my
cell.

Call him.

[kids cheer]

- All right. Let's
see.

Did someone need a lift?

KIDS: Yeah!

- Thank you so much for
coming to get us.

MR. BENDER: Sure.

I brought
those pants you asked for.

Where's your little brother?

- He's still naked in the
ocean.

- Interesting.

- Yeah, Michael's
watching him,

so here, just give him here

and I'll de-nudify him.

- Hurry! It's getting
cold!

- All right,

adolescents, come on! Climb in.

We have a long ride back to
PCA.

- Quinn, I got to say
thanks.

- Yeah, if it wasn't
for

you, we never would have had
this...experience.

- Yeah, thanks, Quinn.

- Oh, don't thank me.

You
can thank my new synthetic

coconut-smelling goo.

- Yeah, put that away.
- Right.

BOYS: Wait up! Wait! Wait!
Wait!

- Wait! Wait!
Wait!

Aah! Wait!
Wait! Wait! Wait!

- Dustin, your toes look

like raisins.

- Hey, you try being in

the ocean for 6 hours.

- Hey! Who got
fingerprints

on my mirror?

- Ok, we're here.

We're back at PCA.

Guys?

Hello?

Let's go.
Up and at 'em.

Guys!

[sniffs]

Mmm. Coconut.

[yawns]

Man...

Oh, this looks comfy.

All right.

I'm right over here...

if you...

[snoring]

WOMAN: ♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪

♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪

♪ And do what
you choose to do ♪

♪ Don't walk away ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ And follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[ding]

Man: Mmm.

NICOLE: You're a boy.
Go dig up some worms.