WOMAN: Are you ready?
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪
♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪
♪ Do I look good today? ♪
♪ Today, today ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪
♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪
♪ And you want
to see my world ♪
♪ So come and run away ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you wanna play ♪
♪ Come and play today ♪
♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪
♪ I will make you see ♪
♪ All of the things ♪
♪ That you can be ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Come follow me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
- Ok. Our next president is
William Howard Taft.
Taft became president
by defeating William
Jennings Bryan in what year?
- 1908.
- Correct.
- I feel like we've been
studying since 1908.
- Yeah, me, too. I'm done.
- Also done. Bye, Chase.
Bye, Zoey.
- Well, that leaves you and me,
Brooks.
- Ok.
In 1913, which U.S. President--
- Hey, can't we take
a little break?
- We have 2 whole chapters
left to cover.
- Oh, come on.
We could play
"Would you rather?"
- Ok. Go.
- All right.
Um, would you rather...
eat 10 live spiders...
or only wear the color green
for the rest of your life?
- Eat 10 live spiders.
- Wow. Didn't even
have to think.
- It's a no-brainer.
- Explain.
- If I eat 10 spiders,
I throw up and it's over with.
If I have to wear only green
for the rest of my life,
I cry for the next 75 years.
- Good point.
Ok, you go.
- Ok. Would you rather...
spend a year in prison
or eat your own dog?
- Ooh. Ha. Let's see...
I love Chester, but prison?
[shudders]
- I hate biology!
- Why do you hate biology?
LOLA: 'Cause I don't get it,
and I'm flunking,
and Mr. Rudolph
wants me to get a tutor.
- So get a tutor.
LOLA: No!
I already spend 7 hours
a day with teachers.
That's bad enough.
- Well, Chase got an "A"
in biology last semester.
He could be your tutor.
- Yeah, I don't really think--
- Please? I'll make you a pie.
- She's offering pie.
- Well, for pie, sure.
- Excellent.
Tomorrow, after last period,
by the quad.
- So, a year in prison
or do you eat your dog?
- Make it 6 months in prison?
- Nope, a full year.
- I'll eat my dog.
- Ok. Mondays, Wednesdays,
and Fridays,
it's mostly
about the biceps and triceps.
Tuesdays and Thursdays,
it's all abs.
- What about weekends?
- If you're lucky,
weekends are for you.
Ok. Why don't you guys take off
and let me focus on the weights,
all right?
ALL: Bye. See ya.
- Call me.
CHASE: I will.
[girls giggling]
- All right.
How do you do it?
- Do what?
- Get all those girls
to like you.
- Why, you having trouble
with the ladies?
- Well, I did ask out
this one girl, Wendy.
- And?
- She giggled and ran away.
- Bummer.
- Hey, you wanna teach me
how to get girls?
- You really wanna learn
how to get girls?
- So much!
- Ok. Meet me in my room
tomorrow after school
for your first lesson.
And bring your hair gel.
- I don't have any hair gel.
- This is not gonna be easy.
- Ok, biology is way too hard.
- No, you just think it is,
so you're psyching yourself out.
Now, come on.
The transfer of pollen
from the stamen of one flower
to the pistil of another
is what?
- Boring.
- True, but it's called
pollination.
- Look, you're really nice
to tutor me,
but there's no way I'm ever
gonna remember all this stuff.
- But you're an actress.
You gotta memorize
all your lines, right?
- That's different. When I'm
acting, I'm playing a role.
- So, just treat biology
like an acting role.
You know,
play the part of a girl
who's really good at biology.
- That's pretty smart.
- Well, I'm your tutor.
I'm not supposed
to say stupid stuff.
Ok. Now you're...
you're playing the role
of Felicia,
a brilliant biology girl.
Now, your first
line of dialogue
starts at the top
of page 96. Learn it.
CHASE: Got it?
- Yeah...I think.
- Ok. Your scene takes place
on a sailboat.
It's early evening.
Young Felicia, the brilliant
biology student,
walks up to a handsome
dude and says...
- Pollination is a process
by which pollen is transferred
from the stamen of one flower
to the pistil of another.
- Yes! Wonderful! More!
Come on!
- The 4 primary methods of
pollination are insects,
birds, wind, and...
- You know it.
- Water!
- My God!
She's amazing! Bravo!
- Thank you.
- See, I told you
you could do it.
For you.
- Why are you giving me
a flower?
- So you can take it back
to your dorm and study it.
- Yeah, I don't think
I want to.
- Why not?
- There's a spider on it.
- Aah!
- [laughs]
- Ok.
If you wanna be like me
and get girls,
the first thing
we have to do
is give you a total
makeover.
Stand up.
- What are you doing?
- Cutting off your sleeves.
There. How do you feel?
- My arms are cold.
- You'll get used to it.
Now, we fix your hair.
- Picture's crooked.
ZOEY: I've heard.
- Hey, uh, can I talk to you
about something?
- Sure. What's up?
- Tell me about you and Chase.
- Me and Chase?
We're friends. Why?
- Just friends?
- Yeah. Why do you ask?
- Just wondering.
- Ok.
- 'Cause I might ask Chase out.
- Oh, yeah?
- Unless that would make you
feel weird.
- No. Ask him out.
I think it's a great idea.
- Ok. Thanks, Zoe.
I'm gonna head down to the
lounge, play some foosball.
- Have fun.
[door closes]
- Yeah. Now that's hair.
Ok. Now get up and show me
your walk.
- All right.
- Ok, that's bad.
Come with me.
[rock music playing]
♪ ♪
MAN: ♪ You gotta walk like me ♪
MEN: ♪ Walk like me ♪
MAN: ♪ You gotta talk like me ♪
MEN: ♪ Talk like me ♪
MAN: ♪ You gotta look like me ♪
MEN: ♪ Look like me ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Oh, I'm the king, baby ♪
- Ooh! The little one's hot.
- Mm-hmm.
MAN: That's right.
- Ok. Photosynthesis is
the process by which plants
use energy from sunlight
to produce sugar
which converts into--
- You wanna go out with me?
- Uh--[chuckles]--
Wow.
That question had almost nothing
to do with photosynthesis.
- Is that a no?
- No, no--well--ok,
that was a no, but--
I wasn't actually
saying no to...
Wait. When did you decide
to ask me out?
- The last time you were
tutoring me.
Well, I didn't
decide right then.
I talked to
Zoey about it first.
- Oh.
So Zoey's ok with you
asking me out?
- Yeah. She said you guys
were just friends,
so...it's all cool.
- Yeah. All cool.
[cell phone beeps]
LOLA: Um...
tell you what.
You think about it
and let me know
if you wanna go out, ok?
- Ok. Thanks.
- Later.
- What's up, man?
- What's up,
man?
[music playing on mp3 player]
- Michael!
Michael!
Michael!
[music stops]
- You interrupted tune time.
- Lola asked me out.
- Well, my goodness!
- Yeah.
- You were right to interrupt
tune time.
- Dude, this is serious.
- I'm being serious!
Lola's hot.
- So you think I should
go out with her.
- Sounds like a good idea
to me.
- Yeah, well, it does
to Zoey, too.
- Oh, ok.
I get what this is about.
- Yeah.
- You know for sure
Zoey said it was a good idea
for you to date Lola?
- Yep. Lola asked her, you
know, to make sure it was ok,
and Zoey said it was
a great idea.
- Look, man, sit down.
Now listen...
- You're not gonna ask me out,
are you?
- No, your hair's too bushy
for me.
Look, if Zoey told Lola it was
cool to ask you out,
then that means Zoey thinks of
you as just a friend.
But don't go get all
depressed, man.
Lola's smokin'.
You should be psyched
she's into you.
- Yeah.
- You should.
- I know.
- I'm serious.
- Ok.
NICOLE: Next question.
Um--Zoe!
[snaps fingers]
- Why would Lola wanna ask
Chase out?
- Ok. I thought you said you
didn't want to talk about it.
- I don't. Ok.
What was the name of
President McKinley's wife,
the first lady?
- I think her name was...Ida?
- Can you even picture them
going out together?
- President McKinley and Ida?
- No, Chase and Lola.
- So you do want to talk
about it.
- No. Stop bringing it up.
- Listen, Chase and Lola
probably aren't even
gonna go out.
- Why do you think that?
- 'Cause Lola asked him,
and Chase said he had to
think about it.
- What? Wait.
How do you know this?
- Lola told me.
- Well, why didn't you tell me?
All you ever do is talk about
stuff, and today you decide
it's a good idea to keep
your big yap shut?
- All right.
What is your deal?
- I don't know.
I'm just...
worried.
- Why?
- 'Cause...
Chase is like
my closest guy friend
and Lola's my roommate,
and I just don't want
anyone to get hurt.
- Are you sure that's
what's bugging you, Zoe?
- Yeah.
[door opens]
- Guess what?
Chase said yes!
How great is that?
- So...great.
- Hey. What's up?
Oh, my god.
- Uh-huh.
- We were supposed to play
tennis after school.
- At 4:30.
- All right. I am the worst.
- How could you forget?
- Well, Lola has her biology
test tomorrow,
and I was making her a list of
stuff she needs to know.
Look. It's color-coded.
- It's adorable.
- You're mad.
- Noooo.
- Look, I promise
I won't do it again.
- Ok.
Hey, you wanna go to sushi racks
and get a spicy
California roll?
- I do.
- Good.
- But...I can't.
- How come?
- I'm, uh, seeing a movie
on campus with Lola.
- Ok, busy boy, you let me know
when you have some time
on your schedule.
[playing trombone]
- Ok, there's Quinn.
You ready to practice?
- Why do I have to do this?
- Because.
You got the look down,
but if you want to get
girls,
you gotta get
the attitude down.
- Why do I have to act like
a jerk to make girls want me?
- I don't know why.
I just know it works.
Now go be a jerk to
Quinn.
- [sighs] Ok.
- Oh. Hi, Dustin.
What did you do
to your hair?
- None of your business.
- Ok. Um...hey!
Check out this new riff I wrote
for a song I'm working on.
[plays trombone]
Well?
- It's a'ight.
- It's a'ight?
- Yeah. I've heard better.
I've heard worse.
- I worked for 3 weeks
on that riff.
- Pfft. Whatever.
- Well!
- So, how'd I do?
- Perfect.
Now you got the look
and the obnoxious attitude,
which means you are ready to go
on a double-date with me.
- Don't we need girls?
- Already hooked up.
We're taking out
the Baldwin sisters.
- Are they nice?
- Who cares?
One's my age, one's your
age...and they're hot.
- All right!
- All right!
Come on.
[TV playing]
[turns TV volume down]
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Um, you girls have a much
nicer lounge than we do.
- Thanks.
- Um...
so where's everybody?
- I guess at dinner.
- Oh. Yeah.
Ahem.
So...
Hey!
You wanna play
"Would you Rather?"
- I don't know.
How do you play?
- Well, I give you
two insane choices,
and you have to pick
which one you'd rather do.
- Ok. Go.
- Ok, um, would you rather...
be locked in a cage
with a wild tiger or...
lick peanut butter
off a hobo's foot?
- What?
- Which would you rather do?
- Why would I ever have to
choose between
being locked
in a cage with a tiger
or licking peanut butter
off a hobo's foot?
- Well, you wouldn't. See,
that's the fun of it.
You know what? Never mind.
You're right.
It's a dumb game.
- Ok. You wanna
watch some more TV?
- Um...yeah, I guess.
[turns TV volume up]
[man singing pop song
on TV]
[turns TV off]
- You're not into this.
- Uh, what--what do you mean?
- You and me going out.
You're not into it,
are you?
- Well, look, I wouldn't say--
- Who is she?
- W-who's who?
- The girl you like.
- Why do you think
I like another girl?
- Because I'm smart.
Does she go to PCA?
- Um...
no.
She, uh...
she's from my hometown.
You know, back home...
in my town.
- Ok.
Listen, I'm gonna head up
to my room.
- I'm really sorry.
- It's cool.
So, which would you rather do?
- Huh?
LOLA: Be locked in a cage
with a wild tiger
or lick peanut butter
off a hobo's foot?
- Oh. Easy. Peanut butter
off a hobo's foot.
- Why?
- I'm scared of tigers
and I love peanut butter.
- [laughs]
Later.
- Later.
- Ok. There they are.
- Whoa! Those are our dates?
- Yeah. Now remember,
if you want her to like you,
be like me.
- Be like you.
- Just like we practiced.
- Right.
- Ok.
LOGAN: Well, well, well.
Either you're our dates
or you're just lucky enough
to be in the right place
at the right time.
- Hi, Logan.
- This is Stacy.
She's in my Spanish class.
- I'm Tracy, and I'm in your
history class.
- Right. Whatever.
- I'm Dustin.
- Hi. I'm Sandy.
- That's a really cool shirt.
- Thanks.
- [sighs]
Excuse us.
What up with the compliment?
- What?
- I told you girls don't like
guys who are nice.
- But I don't know if I'm as
good at being a jerk as you are.
- Well, try harder!
Ok. You guys wanna see a movie
or what?
- Uh...sure.
- What do want to see, Sandy?
- Well...
- I'm dying to see
Restless in Love.
- Me, too.
- Cool.
- Whoa, whoa. We're not seeing
a chick flick.
- It a romantic comedy.
And I find the term
"chick flick" insulting.
- Whatever. But if you expect
us to buy the tickets,
we're picking the movie.
- Ok. I knew you were kind of
obnoxious,
but this is a little
out of control.
- Uh, excuse us.
- What?
- I don't know
if the "being a jerk" thing
is working too well.
- Look, do I get
a lot of girls?
- You talk about getting
a lot of girls.
- Just let me handle this, ok?
Ok, I'll tell you what.
We'll take you to see
Restless in Love,
but you guys are paying.
- Actually, you know what
I'd rather see?
- What?
- The Jerk in the Fountain.
- The Jerk
in the Fountain?
Hey!
Ok! That was ridiculous!
- So are you.
Sandy, you want me to walk you
back to your dorm?
- Nah. I'm gonna hang
with Dustin.
- Ok. Have fun.
Bye, Logan.
- Race ya.
LOGAN: Hey!
Is there really a movie
called Jerk in the Fountain?
[laughing]
- Ok, ok.
Chase, would you rather eat 5
pounds of raw liver
or wear a bikini to class?
- Bikini to class, no question.
- Really?
- Oh, yeah. I look hot
in a bikini.
- Ok. Don't wanna know
how you know that.
- No, you don't.
All right, Dustin, you're up.
Go.
- Um, ok.
Sandy, would you rather
shave your head
completely bald
or drink 5 bottles
of ketchup?
- Can I hide in my room
until my hair grows back?
- Nope.
- I'd drink the ketchup.
[laughing]
- Ok. Zoey, would you rather
be stuck in an elevator
for 3 days
or...make out with a monkey?
- Stuck in an elevator.
I ain't kissing a monkey.
- Baby.
- Let's see you kiss a monkey.
- Bring me a monkey.
- Maybe I will.
- Yeah, yeah, all right,
Dustin,
would you rather chew
off your own fingers
or be married
to an elephant?
DUSTIN: Isn't that illegal?
CHASE: Not in international
waters.
DUSTIN: Ah.
ZOEY: [giggles]
[ding]
MAN: Mmm!
Zoey: She's offering pie.
02x09 - Lola Likes Chase
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.
Series centers around Zoey Brooks as she enrolls in Pacific Coast Academy, a prestigious Southern California boarding school that previously only allowed boys to attend.