03x12 - The Radio

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: Are you ready?

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I know you see me
standing here ♪

♪ Do I look good,
my dear? ♪

♪ Do I look good today? ♪

♪ Today, today ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ I'm just another
kind of girl ♪

♪ And you want
to see my world ♪

♪ So come and run away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away, yeah ♪

♪ I will make you see ♪

♪ All of the things ♪

♪ That you can be ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Come follow me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[upbeat guitar music]

[horn honks]

- Okay, you tell me one thing

that either one of your
roommates does

that's freakier than Quinn.

- Well, let's just say
in the middle of the night

Logan doesn't like
to walk to the bathroom

'cause it's "too far."

- Oh, god, don't tell me this.

- Pees out the window.

- Ugh, gross.

- Told ya.

- Is that why
all those flowers d*ed?

Ugh!

- Hey, Chase,
I've been lookin' for you.

You got a package.

- Oh, it's here.

Sweet.

- What'd you get?

- Well, when I was talkin'
to my grandfather

on the phone last week,
I dropped a gentle suggestion

that I might want
the new G-O mp3 player,

and now,

a package
from Grandpa Joe.

You know, this new G-O
has got an 80-gig hard drive,

dual ear bud ports,
so you can listen with a friend,

and...

I don't understand
what this is.

- An old radio?

- Oh, Grandpa.

- There's a note.

- "Chase,
when I was in high school,

"this is the radio
I listened to every night.

"It was good enough for me,

so it's good enough for you.

Love, Grandpa."

- I think
it's kind of cool-lookin'.

- Good. Give me 10 bucks,
and it's yours.

- Hmm, let's see.

How about, uh...

five bucks

and...

a coupon for a free taco
at the PCA cafeteria?

- Sold.

- Your money,
your taco coupon.

- Your prehistoric radio.

Hey.

This coupon
expires tonight.

- Better run and get your taco.

- Ay, caramba.

QUINN: Okay,

just gotta get it
perfectly straight here.

Okay, how does this look here?

- Hmm, uh, let me
just tweak it a little bit.

There.
Perfect.

- [scoffs]

That was a little rude...

rudey.

- I'm not being rude.

It'd just be a little freaky

having a giant painting

of your boyfriend staring at me

when I'm getting dressed
in the morning.

- Okay, fair enough.

Hey, speaking of boyfriends,

I heard Ethan Medavoy
asked you out again.

- Yeah, but I said no.

- Why? He's adorable.

- He kisses like a sheepdog.
Ech.

- Ew.

- Yeah.

So, how's your boy?

- Oh, Mark's good.

He finally got rid
of that fungus under his arm.

- No.
I mean...

is he a good kisser?

- Oh, um...

he's an excellent kisser.

Mmm.

- Keep talkin'.

Make with the details.

- Well, um,

you know, his, um,

his lips are just really soft,

like...like two gummy worms

that have been in your pocket
on a hot summer's day.

- Two gummy worms--

- Hey, do you think
I should dye my hair?

'Cause I was thinking--

- Why are you
changing the subject?

- Well,

um...

okay, we've never kissed.

- What?

- Mark and I have never kissed.

- What?
- Stop saying "what?"

- You've been dating
for almost two years!

- Please don't tell anyone.

- What's up, roomies?

- Quinn and Mark
have never kissed.

- Thanks.

- What?

You guys have been
dating for two years.

How could you not--
- It's not me, it's Mark!

And I don't wanna talk about it.

- What's that?

- A radio.
I bought it from Chase.

- How old is that thing?

- I'm not sure.

- Here.
I'll check online.

Oh, what kind of radio is it?

- Just says...

Fada model 115.

- Fada model 115.

- He's never even tried
to kiss you?

- We're talking
about radios now!

Oh, here it is.

"Fada radio, model 115,

also called 'The b*llet.'

Manufactured in 1941."

- Wow.
- Cool.

- Um, "made of an antique
plastic called Catalin,

this radio is extremely popular
with collectors

and very rare.

Value:

between $10,000
and $12,000"?!

- Oh, my god.
- Seriously?

- Look! That's what it says!

- Whoa.

- How much
did you give Chase for it?

- Five bucks and a free taco.

- I hope it was a $10,000 taco.

- So what are you gonna do
with the cash?

- I'm not gonna sell this.

- Ooh, smart.

Hang onto it, and in five years,

it'll probably be worth 50,000.

- No, I'm giving this
back to Chase.

- Why?
- She has to.

Chase is her friend.
- But he sold it to you.

A deal's a deal.

- But Chase didn't know
what it was worth.

- Exactly. Which is why
I'm gonna go tell him.

- No.
Zoey!

- Good.

Not one kiss?

- Stop it!

- Quinn.
- Hi, cuteness.

What you doin'?

- Just some laundry.

Is this stuff
effective on stains?

- Uh, what kind of stains?

- Uh, forget it.
What's up?

- Well, I just finished dinner,

and I thought I'd bring my baby
a little dessert.

- Ah.

So what'd you bring me?

- Lactose-free ice cream,

your favorite flavor.

- Vanilla.

You always know what I want.

- Mm-hmm.

And do you know what I want?

- What's wrong with your lip?

- Nothing.

I thought
maybe you'd want to kiss me.

- No.

- But why not?

- Well,

I just don't think
this is the right moment.

- But I don't understand why--

- Look, I really
gotta do this laundry.

Thanks for the stuff.

- Sure.

Good luck with your stains.

- Thank you.

- ♪ Spin me round again ♪

♪ So I can still pretend... ♪

- I'm ready.

- Okay.

I'll put this cup
over this ball.

Then without touchin'
or movin' the cup,

I'll put the ball in my pocket.

- No way. Not possible.
- All right.

If I do it, will you give me
that fancy watch?

- Okay, sure.

But you can't touch
or move the cup in any way.

- Mm-hmm.

I understand.

[deep breath]

Shucka-shucka-shucka-shucka,

shucka-shucka-shucka-shucka,

ya-ya-ya-ya-ya...

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

There.

It is done.

- No, it's--

the ball's right there.

- Ha ha!

I put it in my pocket
without movin' the cup.

Now give me that watch.

- That's cheating!
- That's not cheating!

- You tricked me!
You touched it!

- I did not touch it!
- You touched the golf ball!

I'm not giving you the watch!
- Easy, easy, easy!

You guys seen Chase?

I need to copy
his history notes.

- He's workin' tonight.

- Tryin' to make
some extra cash

so he can buy a new G-O.
- Yeah.

He asked his grandfather
for one,

and he just sent him
a nasty old radio.

- Uh, not so nasty.

That radio turned out to be
some rare collectible

worth over 10,000 bucks.

- Nuh-uh.
- What?

- It's true.
Quinn looked it up online,

and Zoey almost passed out

when she found out
what it was worth.

Ooh, Brad!

Can I borrow your history notes?

BRAD: Yeah, sure.
- Wait a sec.

- That radio is really worth
over 10,000 bucks?

- What radio
is worth over 10,000 bucks?

- Yours.
- What?

You mean the one
my grandfather gave me?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, Zoey doesn't know
about this, does she?

- Oh, Zoey knows.

- Someone looks mad.

- Well, kinda.

She gave me five bucks
and a taco for it.

- I hope it was a tasty taco.

MAN: Now keep moving your arms
and also move your hips

in a swivular motion,

and that will really help
strengthen those core muscles.

Move the ball to the left.

- I think this really
is strengthening

my core muscles.

- To the left.
You're doing fine.

Granted, I can't see you,
but I have a feeling

that you're doing fine
by just listening--

- Hey.

- Why'd you turn off
our Pilates video?

- Out!
- Nnn!

- What's goin' on?

- I want my radio back.

- Oh, you heard.

- Yeah, I heard,

and I'm really surprised at you.

- Why?
What'd I do?

- I sold you that radio
for five bucks and a taco.

Not even a good taco.

Mostly just limp lettuce.

- Okay, you're mad at me

'cause your taco lettuce
was limp?

- I'm mad at you
because you found out

that radio was worth $10,000,

and you weren't even
gonna tell me.

- I was, too, gonna tell you.

- Really?
'cause you obviously

found this out hours ago.

- I went and looked for you.

- Not too hard.

- What?
I'm supposed to track you down

while you're delivering sushi?

- I'm just saying--

- What are you saying?

- That a good friend
would give me my radio back.

- Oh, so now
I'm not a good friend?

- Are you gonna
give me my radio?

- I was gonna.

- Sure, you were.

- That's right, I was.
Was.

But you know what?

I paid you for it, so it's mine.

- All right, then.

I'm...

I'm taking this.

- Cool. Have fun
with Quinn's toenails.

- Eww!

This isn't over.

- "This isn't over."

♪ ♪

- Oh, come on, you know Zoey

should give that radio
back to Chase.

- Why should she give a radio
back that belongs to her?

- What's up?
- Hey.

- Aloha.
- Where's Chase?

- He didn't want to have lunch
with us 'cause he thought

Zoey'd be here, and he doesn't
want to see her,

and I don't blame him.

- Chase needs to grow up.

- Zoey needs to grow up.

- Yo, yo.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Zoey's not eating lunch
with us?

- No, and she's not coming

'cause she doesn't want to risk
running into Chase.

- Dios mio.
STACEY: Hey.

Can I join you guys?

I was sitting
with those kids over there,

but they asked me to leave.

So, may I sit?
- Uh, yeah.

- Whatever.
- I dunno.

- So, what?

Zoey and Chase
are never gonna

talk to each other again?

- They might,
if Chase apologizes.

- Could someone
pass the mustard, please?

- Why should Chase apologize

when the whole thing's
Zoey's fault?

- It's not Zoey's fault.

- You think it's right
for Zoey to keep a $10,000 radio

she bought from Chase
for five bucks and a taco?

- A limp-lettuce taco.

- Mustard, please?
- A deal's a deal.

Chase offered
to sell Zoey the radio,

Zoey said yes,
she gave Chase the money,

and he gave her the radio,
period, the end.

The radio belongs to Zoey.

- But Chase
didn't know what it was worth

when he sold it.
- Neither did Zoey,

so the deal was fair.

- I can't eat my sausage
without mustard.

- And, anyway,
Chase could've gone online

and looked up
what the radio was worth.

- But he didn't.
- Right, so it's his own fault.

- I just need one small squirt
for my sausage.

- If Chase wasn't smart enough
to determine the radio's value

before he sold it,
that's his mistake.

- Oh, okay,

so if I owed you a dollar,
and, by mistake,

I gave you a $100 bill,
you should keep it

just 'cause I made a mistake?

- That's right.

- Hello.
Am I invisible?

- Logan's right.
- Logan's wrong,

and you're wrong.
- Zoey should keep the radio.

- Zoey should give the radio
back to Chase!

- No, she shouldn't!
- But just listen to her, okay?

[everyone shouting]

- He sold it to her
for five bucks and a taco!

- Excuse me!
I asked a question,

and I demand an answer!

Would someone please
pass the mustard?!

- Here! Here's the mustard!

- Stupid mustard eater.

- Logan--
- I'm outraged!

[violin playing]

♪ ♪

- Oh, hey, a violinist.

- My great uncle
was a violinist.

Then he d*ed.

- Mark, I'm not interested
in the death of your--

I just think the violin
is the most romantic

of all the stringed instruments.

- Well, that is one point
of view.

- Thanks.

- Um...

- Yes?

- I think you got
a little eye booger

right in the corner there.

- Thank you, Mark.

- Sure.

Hey, I gotta put more ointment
under my arm.

Catch you later?

- Sure.

- You owe me 10 bucks
for playin'.

For another 10, I'll kiss you.

[dramatic music]

[cell phone ringing]

- Hello?

- Chase?

- Granddad?

- Did you get it?

- Why are you calling me
at 2:00 in the morning?

- Did you get the radio I sent?

CHASE: Yes, yes, I got it,

but right now,
I'm trying to get it back.

- What?

You got it and you lost it?

- Sort of, but I'm trying
to get it back.

It's worth over $10,000.

Ooh, hold on.

Look, I gotta go.

I'll call you later.

- Hi.

- Heh...Zoey.

Uh, listen,

have you seen, um,
my--my contact lens?

'cause I think
I might have accidentally--

Ohhh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Aah!

Puh!
- What is happening?!

- Chase stopped by
to say hello.

- You hit me with a pie?

That is so cliché.

What is this, 1952?

- It's what you get
for trying to steal.

- It's not stealing.

That radio
was a gift from my grand--

Oh!

Oh, God!

You got pie in my eye!

Oh!

- All right.

This is getting
so out of control!

Zoey, just give the boy
his radio back!

- Why should she?

- 'Cause Zoey tricked me.

- I didn't trick you,
and you know it!

- I know nothing.

Why would you hit me in the face
with a key lime pie?

That's the only pie
that would hurt me

if you actually hit me
in the face with it!

- Stop it!

Stop it!
[all shouting]

Stop it!

All right,
we gotta figure out

who should get
that stupid radio,

and we gotta figure it out now,

before this ruins
all of our friendships.

Oh!

- She's right.

- Okay.

But I'm not flippin' a coin.

That thing's too valuable
for coin flippin'.

- We need a person
to just decide who gets it.

You know, what do they call it?
A mediator.

- Okay, so who?

- It should be someone
who can just calmly listen

to both sides
and then make a decision.

Like, someone
without any emotion or passion.

- I know a person.

- And if I had known
what it was worth,

there's no chance
I'd have sold her that radio

for a measly five bucks.

- Wasn't my fault
you didn't know.

- Hey.

You already got your chance
to talk.

Anyway, I say
that any friend should,

under these circumstances,

give me my radio back.

- Are you done?

- I am done.

- Good.

The radio belongs to Zoey.

- I knew it!
I knew it!

- Ha! Told you I was right.

- I'm going back to bed.

- I knew we shouldn't have
let Mark be the mediator.

We should do this over.

I say we need a do-over.

- Hey, guys,
I told you.

Chase--

- His grandfather
gave it to him.

He really deserves it.

- Hey, lucky you.

[everyone arguing]

- Mark.

Thanks for being the mediator.

- Sure.

What else would I have to do
at 3:00 in the morning?

- Well, I just wanted to say

I think you made
the right decision, and I--

You kissed me.

- I know.

I was there.

- But...but why now?

Why was this the right moment?

- Well,

were you expecting it?

- Not at all.

- That's why.

So...

[sniffs]

I'm a pretty good kisser,
right?

- We'll talk
about that another time.

♪ ♪

- What's this?

"Taco Guapo"?

- ♪ So tired,
I can't face it ♪

♪ I know there's no way home
for me ♪

♪ It's never, ever been
so clear ♪

- Wow.

Handsome taco.

- ♪ You say that
you're a stranger ♪

♪ Tomorrow always kills today ♪

- And here.

♪ It's never gonna go away ♪

- I don't get it.

- It's yours.

- But Del Figgalo
said it belongs to--

- I know what Mark said.

Listen, when I found out
this radio

was worth so much money,

I was absolutely gonna give it
back to you.

- Well, then, why didn't--

- You never gave me a chance.

You started screaming at me

and telling me
I was a bad friend.

So, I got mad.

- You were really
gonna give it back?

- Of course.

- I'm an idiot.

- Yeah, well...

- I don't deserve
such a handsome taco.

Hey, I got an idea.

- You're gonna share that taco
with me?

- Yes,
but that was not my idea.

I was thinking,

since this
radio is worth 10,000 bucks,

let's split it.

You know, that way,
you get 5,000

you weren't expecting,
and so do I.

Everybody wins.

- I think
that sounds very fair.

- Good.

But, hey, don't bogart my taco.

- Mm.

Wow, that's good.

What they call muy bueno.

- I know, right?

- So, hey,
since we're gonna be rich,

what do you think we should buy?

- I don't know.

Oh, maybe we could--

GRANDDAD: Chase!

Chase!

- Granddad?

- [wheezing]

- That's your grandfather?

- I thought you were home
in Baltimore?

- I was.

I caught a plane to California
this morning.

I just got here.

My radio's really worth $10,000?

- Yeah, apparently, it's
some rare collectible, but--

- See ya.

- ♪ By no one else,
I hear your name ♪

♪ And see you there again ♪

♪ Where did we go wrong? ♪

- Well, we'll always have
this taco.

- No, we won't.

WOMAN: ♪ Yeah, yeah, you ♪

♪ Just gotta let it loose ♪

♪ And do what
you choose to do ♪

♪ Don't walk away ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ If you wanna play ♪

♪ Come and play today ♪

♪ Let's just get away ♪

MAN: Mmm.

CHASE: I don't deserve
such a handsome taco.