02x01 - Operation: C.A.T.S./Operation: P.O.P.

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Codename: Kids Next Door". Aired: December 6, 2002 – January 21, 2008.*
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Show revolves around a group of five 10-year-old kids (later retconned to be varying ages), using codenames Numbuhs 1 through 5, who are the main home operatives of what is known as Sector V, which is part of a worldwide espionage-style organization called the Kids Next Door.
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02x01 - Operation: C.A.T.S./Operation: P.O.P.

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ La da-da-da la da-da

Oh! Hello, mr. Huggikins,

It's so good to see you!

I love you.

You do? I love you, too,

Mr. Huggikins.

I love you.

No, I love you!

I love you.

no, I love you!

I love you.

Nooooo, I love you!

I love you.

No, I love you!

I love you.

no, I love you!

Will somebody please make her

Stop before I get sick?!

Hey, numbuh 3, why don't you

Give us a hand over here?

Huh? Okay!

I love you.

♪ La la la

La la la la la la ♪

Oh, thank you. Sheesh.

What's the point of cruddy doll

That hugs and giggles?

Real dolls should

Be able to fight.

Take that! And this!

And how about some of this?

And... [ Grunts ]

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

[ Distorted ]

I... Love... You.

Ha, dumb doll!

Man, you are so busted.

Just gimme it!

[ Grunts ]

There?

Oh, yeah,

She'll never notice a thing.

How cute!

Numbuh 4 and mr. Huggikins

Are friends.

Play nice!

♪ La la la la

La la la la la ♪

Ohhhh,

This is all your fault!

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid,

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Aaaah!

[ Gasps ]

Mr. Huggikins!!

[ Laughs nervously ]

Uh, i-i know this looks bad,

But it's okay.

I can fix it up.

Good as new.

- No, no, no, don't - put it on the...

[ Computer voice ]

Kids next door catuhclunk...

- Chucks a lot of things - up high,

Powered largely using

Nebulized ketchup.

[ Growls ]

I stand corrected.

now you're busted.

You know,

That went rather well.

Yeah, I was sure numbuh 3 would

Be a lot angrier.

And she came up

With a great solution,

Don't you think?

[ Laughter ]

Why don't you ask

Mr. Huggikins?

Shut up!

♪ La la la la

La la la la la ♪

I love you,

Mr. Huggikins.

I said,

"I lo you, mr. Huggikins!"

Now you say it!

No.

Do you love me now,

Mr. Huggikins?

Ugh!

I said, "do you love me,

Mr. Huggikins?"

Yow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Dancing! Yay!

Say it!

I said, "no"!

- Say it. - No.

- Say it! - No.

Say it!

No!

I said, "say it!"

So say it or else!

Never.

[ Wailing ]

That is it!

There's only so much

A guy can take.

No, don't step on the...

Aaaaah!

Oh, no! He's heading straight

For...

her house.

[ Cats meowing ]

Ah, my pretty little pretties.

This house is so lonely.

What we need around here is...

[ Crash! ]

[ Groans ]

A kitty-cat!

I am not a kitty-cat!

I am mr. Huggikins...

I mean, I'm a kid

In a mr. Huggikins costume!

Oh, you almost sound

Like you can talk.

[ Smooches ]

[ Groaning ]

Oh, what's wrong, kitty?

Don't you wike

Mommy-wommy's kisses?

Oh!

Listen here, lady...

Hey, cut it out.

Will you stop that?

Quit rubbing ag... Stop.

P.u.!

What's that smell?

Eww!

Numbuh 1: okay, team, I'm not

Going to lie to you...

The crazy old cat lady's home is

Practically toxic,

So our mission is

Purely search and rescue.

- We grab numbuh 4 - and get out of...

Hey, why aren't you suited up,

Numbuh 3?

I'm not going.

Numbuh 4 is so mean.

He destroyed

Poor mr. Huggikins,

And then he wouldn't

Play with me.

He deserves the kitty lady!

Don't be ridicu...

No!

Ugh, whatever. Let's go.

One good throw,

And I'm outta this dump.

[ Cats screeching ]

Off, off I say!

Get away!

Get off my yarn!

[ Cats hiss ]

[ Hisses ]

[ Cats screech ]

Bad... Bad kitties!

Get off!

Now, now, we'll have no

Squabbles here, my pretties.

Remember, we all have

To live together

In this house... Forever.

Aah!

[ Cats purring ]

Together: huh?

All right,

You crazy old cat lady,

Give us back our numbuh 4

And nobody gets declawed.

I don't know

What you're talking about.

There's no one here

But me and my kitties.

But if you want

To start a cat fight,

I'll be happy to oblige!

[ All hiss ]

Bring it on!

Numbuh 5's

A dog person anyway.

Have a little catnip,

Furballs.

Together: meow?

[ Dance music plays ]

What have

You done to my babies?!

[ Grunts ] ugh...

Hold tight, numbuh 4,

We've got you.

We've gotta run, lady.

Turns out

We're allergic to freaks.

[ Laughs ]

[ Gasps ] you catnappers!

Come to me, my pretties.

[ All hiss ]

Quickly. Yes.

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Cats meowing ]

[ Jet engines roar ]

Faster, numbuh 2,

She's gaining on us.

Roger that. [ Grunts ]

[ Roaring ]

Aaaahh!

[ Gasps ]

You know what I love

About my kitties?

They always come back...

Whether they want to or not!

No, get away!

Ow! No!

Guys!

It's too late for me.

No! Ah!

Tell numbuh 3...

I'm sorry!

Numbuh 3: hey,

You big, stupid kitty!

Meow?

Give me back

Mr. Huggikins!

You want my kitty?

Take it.

Okay.

Huh?

Ow! Stop it!

Aah! Stop!

What are you doing?

Aaaah!

[ Grunts ]

[ Cats screech ]

Let's go!

Numbuh 5: got him.

[ Cats meowing ]

Uh, numbuh 3,

Thanks for saving me and all.

[ Giggles ]

It's okay.

[ Mutters indistinctly ]

[ Imitating mr. Huggikins ]

I love you.

[ Laughs ] say it again!

Don't press your luck.

Heads up, guys.

Kitty's back!

[ Growling ]

Quick, numbuh 2, get us

To level 72 of the treehouse.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Numbuh 2: come on, kitty.

Follow the birdie.

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Aaaah!

[ Cats meowing ]

Kitties?

[ Meowing continues ]

Aaaahh!

Aah! I'm stuck, kitties!

Darlings, help me!

Here's your tea,

Mrs. Fluffle-wuzzy-bottom.

And how about you,

Mr. Huggikins?

Humph!

I think you need a hug!

Say it!

[ Groans ] I love you.

Yay! Say it again.

[ Knocking ]

Matt: nobody's home.

Numbuh 2: I'm here

To see lime ricky.

Hiya, matt.

How's it going, numbuh 2?

Archie, lookin' good.

Girl: [ giggles ]

Hi, hoagie!

Numbuh 2, my man!

What's up, guys?

Excuse me.

[ Whistles ]

Numbuh 2, right on time.

You here with the shipment?

Yep. Your boys are out back

Unloading the truck right now.

You got something for me?

Yipper... Number 73,

The rarest card in the set.

Check it out.

It's the real deal.

[ Whistles ] sweet.

Always a pleasure doing business

With the kids next door.

How's about a frosty one,

On the house?

Well, I never say no

To a cold one.

[ Loud pounding ]

Aaah!

Raid!

Boy: run, run!

[ All gasp, scream ]

Mmm!

Attention!

[ All muttering ]

[ Slurps ]

Just as I suspected...

Root beer.

And I assume none of you are

Of legal drinking age.

For being in direct violation

Of the soda control act,

I am going to see

That each and every one of you

Caffeine-crazed brats

Is put away for a long time!

Since you adults raised

The drinking age of soda to 13,

What are we supposed

To drink...

Prune juice?

That is not my concern.

Take these cola-crazy kids

Away!

No, man! No, no!

Now way!

That's no fair!

We didn't do anything!

[ Slurps ]

[ Laughs ]

Ahem.

Give it up, fizz.

You got nothing on me.

On the contrary...

I have got you

With 20,000 gallons of illegal

Soda with intent to sell.

So now, you're going

To tell me

Where you're

Brewing that soda.

Get yourself

An ice cream headache.

Ohhh!

Children!

If only you could bottle their

Delightful precociousness...

Heh heh heh.

Until they've grown up.

Keep yapping, foamface.

Kids will always drink soda.

Besides, my teammates will

Bust me out of your soda can

Any minute.

You mean these teammates?

- Whoa! - Aah!

Guys?

Now I want

To hear some answers!

Go suck on a straw.

[ All jeer ]

Be quiet over there.

Make us, soda jerk.

What did you...

I said, "quiet!"

[ Jeering continues ]

Will... You... Just...

Stop it?!

E-e-e-nou-u-u-u-gh!

Huh!

[ Muttering ]

Oh, these crazy...

Quick, the door!

[ Groaning ]

Locked.

Hey, did lime ricky pay

For that root beer shipment?

Oh, did he ever...

One mint condition

Yipper collectible card.

Quick, hand it over.

W-w-w-whoa, hey, come on.

Gimme that.

I ain't playing with you.

Shut up already.

Easy now... Gotcha.

[ Sighs ]

It's a bit early for soda,

But I need something

To steady the nerves.

[ Coughs ]

Security.

Aw, man, she bent the corner

Of the card.

[ Alarm blaring ]

All: hup! Hup! Hup!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Quick, shut the door!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

I think they're gone.

Huh?

Aah!

[ Grunts ] what the... No!

Help!

Aaaah!

Let me out!

Aah!

They're bottling children!

Whoa!

Aaaaah!

This is so... So...

Fizz: magnificent?

My personal contribution

To controlling

Developmental behavior.

- What's going on here, - fizz?

Before I came along, children

Were completely out of control,

Drinking gallon after gallon

Of sugary soda,

Chugging it down

Like animals,

Wide-eyed and hopped up

On caffeine.

It was maddening!

So, I had an idea.

Why not take

The little rule-breakers

And throw them in a can?

Or [chuckles]

Should I say "bottle"?

[ Laughs evilly ]

Okay, two things...

One... You crazy.

And two... Nobody bottles

The kids next door!

Now you're gonna

Be sorry you even ever...

Wait, let me explain,

Because i...

[ All shouting ]

- I... Oh! - I... Because...

All right, come on,

Just shut up

So I can explain my plan...

[ Shouting continues ]

Aaaah!

[ Shouting continues ]

Stop it!

I mean it now!

Numbuh 1: you're a bad man.

Nuts.

Look, I need just one...

Cruddy.

Stop!

Crazy.

Stinky.

My... Nerves...

Just... Need... A-a...

So-o-o-o-da!

[ Gulping ]

Now, who wants a drink?

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ All screaming ]

Let's see what's on tap!

Whoa! Ha.

[ Gasps, grunts ]

Huh?

Aah!

Guys, a little help here?

Numbuh 2, numbuh 3...

Stop that belt.

Numbuh 5, with me.

Oh, no you don't.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Huh?

Uh-oh.

[ Grunts ]

Ha ha ha... Oh!

Nice work, numbuh 2.

[ Both groaning ]

Soon, you will

All be bottled away.

It ain't over yet,

Barrel head.

Huh?

Hang on, guys.

Hurry, numbuh 5!

[ Panting ] almost there!

This ought

To slow things down.

Whoa!

Numbuh 5!

Numbuh 5!

[ Crash! ]

Uh, numbuh 2,

Whose side are you on, anyway?

Um, ours? Ugh!

[ Groans ]

Yay! I want

To save the day, too!

Now, let's get back

To business.

Hmm?

- Whoa! - Whoa!

Aah!

[ Panting ]

- What do I do? - What do i... Ooh! Ooh!

What do I do?

Perhaps you need

To bottle up those anxieties.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Gotta help numbuh 3.

[ Groaning ]

Huh?

Whoa! Aaah!

Whoa!

[ Muffled ] help.

Man, I cannot

Get a break today.

Aah!

Hey, watch where

You're shoving that thing.

Hmm.

[ Grunts ]

Aah! Stop that!

[ Grunting ]

That... Lever is not a toy!

[ Grunting continues ]

Oh, ah, oh! Whoa!

Ah! Whoa! W-whoa!

D-d-d-d-d-d

Whoo! Aaaah!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Looks like fizz is

The end for you!

[ Muffled ] where does he

Come up with this stuff?

Ah-ha-ahh.

Oh, you out-of-control

Little brat!

I am going to stuff you into

An extra-small bottle with...

[ Gurgles ]

What is happening?

What's wrong, fizz?

You look all shook up.

Oh. Carbonation.

Oh! Save me!

No-o-o! Aaaah!

[ expl*si*n,

[ Glass shattering ]

Numbuh 5,

Are you in there?

Numbuh 5?

Yay!

Don't worry, fizz,

You only got about

Another 100,000 bottles to go.

Numbuh 5,

Are you in there?!



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door
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