02x02 - Operation: S.P.A.N.K./Operation: D.A.T.E.

[bunniefuu]

Count spankulot: I arrive

like a shadow in the night...

the hunter who preys

upon wrongdoers.

i deliver my punishment swiftly

and without regrets.

my victims beg for mercy

and offer to make deals.

they try to run...

but there is nowhere to run,

and there is nowhere

to hide.

for those I hunt, I have

but one thing...

A good spanking!

[ Laughs evilly ]

They call me count spankulot...

The bounty hunter of bottoms.

[ Laughs evilly ]

i administer spankings

to those naughty children

that deserve them.

perhaps they've toilet papered

someone's house...

[ Laughs ]

or kept a library book

a little too long.

then I am summoned

to apply my powerful palm

to their posterior!

but one day,

something happened.

i was to seek out a boy

named stanley stanski.

he had rung doorbells and ran

just one too many times,

so I was to administer the hand

of justice to his backside.

[ Spanking ]

with the sound of spank.

the night echoed

[ Evil laughter ]

and then, it happened.

[ Child crying ]

[ Gasps ]

What are you doing

To our carlos?!

Carlos?

I hereby find

This here defendant guilty

On all counts of illegally

Spanking an innocent child!

I don't know how it happened.

I must have, uh, gotten

The wrong address, or something.

A likely story!

Get this spank-happy vampire

Out of my courtroom!

I am sorry!

I would never, ever give

An unwarranted spank.

No, no!

No innocent bottom should

Ever feel my powerful...

they locked me away

for a long time...

long enough

to do some thinking.

it was there

that I made a vow...

a vow that I would

never, ever use my power

to spank children again.

instead, I would help them...

But how?

Battle stations, we've

Got to defend that playground!

Whee! [ Laughs ]

- All right, team, - let's move out!

Everybody battle positions!

Come on!

[ Shouting ]

Get ready, team!

[ Footstep ]

[ Footstep ]

Fire!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah!

Hold it!

Hold your fire!

[ Coughing ]

Those pesky kids next door are

Ruining our fun

At the playground,

Mr. Wink.

Indeed, mr. Fibb.

Perhaps we should

Take a more drastic step.

[ Screaming ]

Shall we destroy them

Once and for all, mr. Fibb?

That would be most...

Enough!

- Huh? - Huh?

Together: huh?

I will not allow you fiends

To bring harm

To these innocent childrens!

Huh? Ohhh!

Whoa!

And now, vile scoundrels,

Your heinies belong to me!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Oh, please, no!

Ow! Ow! Oh!

Oh! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Hey, what are you...

You can't...

Ow-w-w! Mommy!

[ Both panting ]

Be gone, evil adults,

Or you shall once again

Face the power of my palm!

[ All gasp ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Boy,

We really showed them, eh?

Wha-a-at?!

We-e-e showed them!

Us kids next door rule!

- You're not here - to spank us?

And what do you mean,

"Us kids next door," bub?

I, count spankulot,

Have decided

To join the kids next door

To make amends

For all the shameful years

I spent punishing childrens.

Oh, forget it!

Yeah, give me a break!

[ Thunder crashes ]

Okay, okay, okay,

Sounds good.

[ Laughs ] excellent!

Now, my friends, let us get back

To the tree house,

For the dawn approaches.

I'll drive.

Together: huh?!

Whoa! W-w-whoa!

[ Spanking ]

[ Snoring ]

Man, look at him.

We got to get rid of that fool.

Then you wake him up,

And you tell him to leave.

Unh-unh!

I'm not gonna wake him!

You wake him!

- Numbuh 2: oh, and get spanked - because he's cranky

In the morning... Forget it!

Actually, I think the count

Might come in handy

For tomorrow night's

Super-big mission.

Together:

What super-big mission?

[ Alarm wails ]

W-what's going on?

Hey, count, don't just

Sit there, we've got a mission.

Come on!

A mission!

Together:

Let's go! A mission!

Go, go, go!

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!

Oh, boy, oh, boy!

Come on, fellas,

What's the mission?

Huh? What is it?

Huh? Come on, tell me,

Ple-e-a-ase!

I'll be your best friend.

[ Grunts ]

- Just tell me. - I won't...

[ Growls ]

All right, listen up.

- Wink and fibb hate children - so much

- They're building a more powerful - super-chair

Capable of destroying

Every playground in the world,

- So we're gonna - hit them first.

Or should I say

spank them first?

Finally, a mission

To help childrens.

Let's do this.

All right.

It's time, count.

Are you ready?

Just watch me.

- I'll deliver the spankiest spank - ever seen!

And the children of the world

Will swing on their swings

And slide on their slides

Without fear!

I don't know, numbuh 1.

I-i still don't like this.

Patience,

Numbuh 2, patience.

Those who thr*aten childrens

Shall feel the stingy wrath

Of count spankulot!

[ Laughs ]

Man: ahhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!

Whoa! Look at him go!

He's like the perfect

Spanking machine.

Now that the count's

Got them distracted,

Let's go

Squash that super-chair.

Hold on, numbuh 4.

I don't think you'll want

To miss this for a second.

Woman: ohhh! Owwww!

Oooh! Oh-owwww!

Let the achiness of your bottoms

Be a reminder

Of the power of count spank...

You!

You! You!

You!

- [ Laughs nervously ] - j-judge?

How dare you come into my house

And spank me and my wife!

Oh, my bottom!

I can't feel my bottom!

But... But,

I-i didn't mean to.

I-i-i thought

I-i-i was helping childrens.

I hereby sentence the defendant

To eleventy trillion years

With no chance of parole ever!

E-e-e-ver!

Get him outta here!

[ Giggles ]

[ Shudders ]

Oh, bad luck, count.

And you were

Such a great member of the team.

R-really?

Oh, thank you, numbuh 1.

That means a lot.

- I thought you said - that we sent count spankulot

To the judge's house on purpose

So we could get rid of him...

- Together: - shh! Shh! Shh!

Just like when we tricked him

Into spanking

That kid carlos before!

[ Gasps ]

You miserable...

Ahhhh!

Judge: order!

Order, I say!

Order, I say! Order!

Come on, now!

Pick up the pace!

Kids next door,

Reporting for duty!

Bad news, team.

When I opened the kids next door

Super-secret mail drop

This morning,

I discovered this.

"You are

Cordially invited to"...

Don't touch it!

What?!

It's just an invitation!

An invitation

To the kids all-town cotillion!

Aaaah!

We got invited?

That's the biggest shindig

In town.

Read the fine print...

"With your hosts the delightful

Children from down the lane."

Does that mean we can't go?

Of course we're going!

Together: yay!

We'll go to their little soiree,

But not for fun.

It'll be a mission

To find out what those

Delightful children are up to.

We can't be conspicuous.

I think first we'll

Have to couple up

So as to avoid drawing attention

To our real mi...

Uh, oh, i, uh.

Looks like nigel uno needs

A date.

[ Laughter ]

[ Groans ]

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello.

Lizzie,

It's, uh, it's nigel.

[ Laughter ]

Listen, the global

Kids next door organization

Requires your cooperation

On a mission

Of the utmost importance.

Should you choose to accept,

You will be deputized

- And given - the temporary numbuh of 49.

I'd love to go on a date

With you, nigey!

It's not a date!

It is a...

Pick you up at 7:00!

What should I wear?

Something with feathers.

Ooh! Or maybe a pretty, pretty

Princess dress!

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Laughter ]

I love those shoes...

Ohhh!

Thank you so much

For the corsage, nigey.

It's not a corsage.

It's a two-way communicator,

An essential component of our...

Calling numbuh 1.

Calling numbuh 1.

Yes, go ahead.

You're neat!

[ Groans ]

Together: [ monotone ]

Hello! Hello!

Good evening!

Hello!

So glad you could come!

Well, well, well,

If it isn't nigel uno

And his little playmates.

Listen, you snotty little punks,

I've got my eye on you,

And I don't blink.

Relax, nigel.

We only wish to have fun

With our guests

For whom we've provided free

Food and entertainment.

So, let's party!

[ Big-band music playing ]

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Yay! Yay!

Oh, come on, nigey.

It'll be fun.

Good luck on your date,

Nigey.

[ Groans ]

[ Big-band music continues ]

Steady, team.

Remember... We're on a mission.

Numbuh 5 is gonna

Do some reconnaissance

On those sandwiches.

I got your back on that.

Ugh, numbuh 4,

Keep an eye out for... Hey!

I think there's a sl-o-o-w song

Coming up, nigey.

[ Laughs nervously ]

Uh, would you excuse me

For a moment?

[ Muffled ] mmm. Wow.

- These little sandwiches are - tasty.

And the punch don't look bad,

Either.

[ Slurps ]

Stop!

Pbht!

[ Beeping ]

- Statistical readings indicate - it's...

Um, uh,

Cherry-flavored.

Look, numbuh 1, I am

Keeping my eyes peeled,

But I am telling you

This is just a dance.

You seriously need to chill.

Yeah, just kick back already.

Enjoy your date.

Lizzie: nigey!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, nigey!

[ Big-band music plays ]

[ Clears throat ]

Shrimp...

Hyah!

Wha-aaah!

[ Sighing ] oh, nigel,

This has been almost

The perfect evening.

Well, I must admit,

Nothing seems amiss,

And well, this is...

[ Gasps ] photos!

Come on, nigey, follow me.

Okay, now put your arm

Around me,

And hold my hand like this.

Oh, this is stupid.

Oh, come on, nigey.

It's not a date

Without an official picture.

Delightful children from

Down the lane: say cheese...

Nigey.

- Look out! - Ahhh!

Nigel!

What are you doing?

Stand still.

Cheese!

[ Grunts ]

What is your problem?

That is not a camera.

It's...

A neurosuggestion ray...

You know your optical

Mind control devices,

But we're afraid that puts you

Sadly in the minority.

Together: [ monotone ]

Join us.

See... They all got

Their pictures taken!

Fiends! You said you only wanted

To have fun!

This is fun.

Delightfulized minions,

Take them!

Together: [ monotone ]

Join us.

We'd love to join you.

- Where are we going? - Oh!

[ Grunts ] nigel!

Join us.

Nigel! Wait!

Not now, lizzie.

But we didn't

Get our picture!

Forget about

The stupid picture.

No!

- Don't you want - to be able to look back

On these treasured moments

Years from now?

I'd like to live that long.

Well, if you're not

Going to hold still

For the official photo, I'll

Just have to take one of my own.

- Fine! - Aaah!

Just keep moving!

I got a pretty good camera,

You know.

It's got autofocus

With a built-in star filter.

Aaaah!

Join us.

For a group sh*t?

Great idea!

Aaaah!

Run!

[ Panting ]

Come on!

Oh, nigey!

I definitely want a picture

Of this!

Shh! Be quiet.

And it'll work, too, 'cause

I have 2,000-speed film loaded,

Suitable for low lighting

And fast action conditions.

Lizzie, they'll hear us!

So I just hold it out here,

Set the dial like this,

Push this button, and...

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Together: whoa!

Oh, no! My eyes!

Man, that's some flash.

Okay, one more.

Just in case.

Hey!

I should have guessed...

One flash neutralizes the other.

All right, it's time to get

This party really started.

So let's dance.

[ Big-band music plays ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

Kids next door, get these

Partygoers out of here.

I'm going to go deal

With the delightful children.

Just one second, mister!

First, you spend almost no time

With me the entire night.

Then you say you don't

Want to take an official photo.

Then you take my camera

And take everyone else's picture

Instead!

- I don't know - what your problem is,

- But if you don't - shape up soon,

I'm not even gonna

Let you walk me home.

And then you'll have

To go tell all your friends

How you blew it so bad

On your date...

This... Is...

Not... A... Date!

It was never a date,

And even if you thought it was

A date, I don't care!

I've got more important things

To worry about

Than some girl who's...

Who's date-crazy!

[ Door slams ]

All right, all right.

That's it. Show's over.

- Oh, you don't want to see this. - Back up, people.

The party's over,

Delightful dorks.

Time to face the music.

Nigey, nigey, nigey.

Now, why did you have to go

And spoil such a lovely evening?

No matter...

The night is still young.

[ Whimpers ]

Like you said, nigel,

Party's over.

Lizzie: nigel uno...

I'd like a word with you!

What is the meaning of this?

Shut up!

I want you to know that

This was the worst date ever!

All I want

Is a little attention...

Some romance...

But what do I get?!

You humiliate me

In front of everybody.

Well, you know what?!

[ Sniffling ] you're just...

Just a big, bad date!

[ Electricity crackles ]

Yikes!

What?

Look out!

Aaah!

Lizzie, you're brilliant!

Oh, nigey!

Now, was that so hard?

Ahhh!

Come on.

[ Electricity crackles ]

What happened here?

[ Explosions ]

Together: ohhhh!

Don't you just love

Fireworks?

Ohhhh!

Whoo-hoo!

Wow!

Ohhhh!

Wow!



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door