05x02 - Operation E.L.E.C.T.I.O.N.S.

[bunniefuu]

A hard year for our school.

We have endured homework theft

On our school buses, werepoodle

Honor students, and tone-deaf

Cafeteria ladies who make

Disgusting food come alive.

But none of this was as

Devastating as the loss of our

Fourth-grade president,

James nixon mcgarfield.

Who would have expected that he

Would change from a fair and

Just politician to one of

Complete evil... Not to mention

- That he totally tried to steal - my girlfriend.

So it is at this time that I

Would like to thank you, the

Student body, for electing me,

Nigel uno, for the office of

Fourth-grade president.

Who's he talking to?

Boys and girls, friends and

Classmates... The votes have

Been tallied, and it is with

Great pleasure that i,

Wilson woodrow, your

Fourth-grade secretary, present

To you...

Your newly elected fourth-grade

President...

The delightful children from

Down the lane!

- ]] The delightful children from - down the... Wah!

Together: [ monotone ] thank

You, fellow students, for

Electing us as your new

President.

We think you'll find the rest of

The school year to be quite

Delightful.

- ]] Who do you freaks think - you're kidding?

No one would ever vote for you.

Hey!

Numbuh 1!

I wouldn't do that if I was

You!

I'm sorry, nigel.

The numbers state quite clearly

That the delightful children won

The election fair and square.

That's right!

And as your fourth-grade

President, our first matter of

Business is cleansing this

School of troublemakers who

att*ck their own president...

Troublemakers like nigel uno.

You're calling me a

Troublemaker?!

I want a recount!

Oh, you'll have plenty of

Time to count where you're

Going, numbuh 1...

Plenty of time.

[ Evil laughter ]

[ Students talking ]

Mr. Uno, what do you say to

Allegations that you eat paste?

Nigel, are you wearing

Rainbow monkey undies?

Is it true you're a

Homework-eating werewolf?

This is ridiculous!

Numbuh 1 is totally getting the

Chewed end of the pencil on

This.

Don't worry.

We brought in

Numbuh $1.50-an-hour

To defend him.

He is g-o-o-o-o-ood.

And he's a fifth-grader.

He'd better be good at a

Buck 50 an hour.

That's like my whole week's

Allowance!

I told you we'd pay you back.

All rise for the honorable

Delightful presidents from down

The lane.

[ Crowd gasps ]

No way!

Who made you ballot burglars a

Judge?

- This is an out... - ]] Please, mr. Uno.

Allow me to handle this.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

Your honorables, my client,

Nigel uno... A boy of the

People... Is obviously...

Guilty!

And we hereby sentence him to

Life detention!

No! You can't!

No, you can't do this!

Your honors, I wholeheartedly

Object to the...

You're out of order!

You fifth-graders think you're

So smart.

Well, we've had it!

As fourth-grade president, we

Have no choice but to declare

w*r on you and your entire

Grade.

It's about time!

I'm sick of getting wedgies from

Those stupid, ugly

Fifth-graders!

Hey!

i'm a stupid, ugly

Fifth-grader!

[ Laughs ] you sure are!

[ Laughter ]

Why, you little...

Give me back my $1.50!

Come on, we got to get out of

Here and find a way to help

Numbuh 1!

Give me back my allowance!

Come on, let me talk to my

Dad!

I get one phone call!

I apologize for the lack of

Decor, convict, but as I

Understand, y'all kids next door

Operatives are a might handy at

Making weapons out of bed frames

And salad tongs.

- ]] You've got to release me - immediately.

The delightful children have

Stolen the fourth-grade

Election, and who knows what

They'll do next?

What they'll be doing next is

Saving me and the six gum g*ng a

Permanent spot at the front of

The café-teria line, and all I

Got to do is keep you locked up

Safe and sound.

Now sit down!

One comin' out!

[ Laughs ]

One comin' out.

[ Groans ]

Psst!

Pssssst!

Who's there?

Nigel, it's me... Wilson.

Listen, nigel, you won the

Election, and the delightful

Children took it away.

How do you know this?

Someone has to count the

Votes, and the delightful

Children promised me a slice of

Their birthday cake next year if

I...

I...

Fudged the results a little.

Fudged?

They weren't even on the ballot!

I know, I know.

I knew I shouldn't have trusted

Them.

The minute they got elected,

They framed me for tying

Muffy jenkins' shoelaces

Together and gave me detention

For life with no chance for

Recess.

Well, serves you right.

Listen, nigel.

You've got to get us out of here

So we can stop the delightful

Children's plan.

Plan? What plan?

[ Evil laughter ]

After cutting off their milk

Money supply routes, those

Pathetic fifth-graders

Surrendered immediately to the

Power of our fourth-grade safety

Patrol.

And with them out of the way,

The third grade will be even

Easier... And the second grade,

And the first!

[ Evil laughter ]

Fellow fourth- and fifth-graders

Of gallagher elementary, this is

Your president.

We have just received a

Declaration of w*r from the

First, second, and third grades.

While we are normally a

Peace-loving president, we are

Now forced to beef up our army

By instituting a mandatory draft

Of all fifth-grade students into

The fourth-grade safety patrol

To fight this new menace.

So go... Fight in the name of

Fourth-and-fifth graderness!

I'm sick of getting wedgies

From those stupid, ugly first-,

Second-, and third-graders!

Let's get them!

[ All cheering ]

Whoo-hoo!

It's noogie time for those rats!

Wah!

Don't you see what those

Delightful dorks are doing?

They're playing everyone against

Each other for their own game.

Oh, man.

I thought school was getting fun

For once.

Listen, we have to bust

Numbuh 1 out of detention and

Take care of those delightful

Children before they take over

The whole school.

But no one's ever broken out

Of detention before.

That place is rock-solid.

[ Laughs ]

I hope he's having fun in there!

Lights out!

Class, 258 won't just divide

Itself by 18, so you'll have to

Do some long division.

Psst!

Numbuh 5...

Hey, you got any gum?

- ]] You know we're not allowed to - chew gum in class.

You trying to get us thrown into

Detention, too?

Oh, come on.

It's like another 24 hours

Before school is over.

I'm dying over here.

All right.

Yes!

But just take one piece.

Chewing gum in class,

Gorgeous?

That there is illegal.

[ Laughs nervously ]

I-i was just giving it to him

For after school.

Sure you was.

Well, maybe lunk'll confiscate

It...

[ Bell rings ]

So you don't get any idea

About chewin' it in school.

[ Laughs evilly ]

One comin' in!

[ Buzzer ]

Grub time, convict.

Bon appetite, sport.

Hey, lunk, uh...

Got an extra piece of gum?

[ Laughs evilly ]

Not for you, con...

Whoa!

Kids next door

G.u.m.m.b.o.... Gooey, unlocking

Mush maximizes breakout.

Why, you...

[ Screams ]

Uno's escaping!

Get him!

Hey!

All right, nigel!

Come on, nigel!

[ Growling ]

[ Prisoners cheering ]

[ Gasps ]

Don't just stand there!

Get him!

Ten goin' in!

Ten goin' in!

[ All screaming ]

One coming out.

One comin' out!

Stop that!

You don't open the door for

Convicts, you idiot!

What are you trying to do, let

Him... Escape?

Ah...

The presidents of the first,

Second, and third grades.

Thank you for coming to sign

Your surrender.

Like we had a choice!

Yeah, your g*ons blocked off

The cafeteria so we can't even

Eat lunch!

But don't you see?

Finally, our school is united

Under one supreme leader.

Finally, gallagher elementary

Can become the supreme power it

Was meant to be.

Finally, we can expand our

Empire beyond this elementary

School, and united, we will take

Over the middle school.

Look at these kids.

They're not trained to take on

Middle-schoolers.

- ]] And we don't even have real - weapons.

How are bikes and scooters going

To put a dent in their defenses?

I'm scared!

I don't want to fight the big

Kids!

Ah, don't worry, little girl.

I take on middle-schoolers all

The time.

You do?

Sure.

- The first two months of pain - from all the noogies and all

- The dead legs they give you is - the worst.

And then your skin turns purple

From all the cow bites and

Pink bellies.

[ Crying ]

Are you trying to make her

Feel better or trying to make

Her wet her pants?

Don't listen to him, kid.

We won't let any big kid get

You.

Hendry middle school, four

Meters and closing.

Repeat... Hendry middle school,

Four meters and closing.

All right, guys, get to work

On these bikes and see what you

Can do to give these kids a

Fighting chance.

Aye aye, captain!

Where are you, numbuh 1?

You should have escaped by now.

[ Evil laughter ]

Excuse me, master presidents,

- But there's a call for you on - line one.

Excellent.

Now leave us!

Good afternoon,

Gallagher elementary.

Good afternoon,

Hendry middle school.

I trust all is going

According... To plan?

But of course.

After stealing their election

And pitting the grades against

One another, the students at

Gallagher elementary are weak

And armed with nothing but

Stupid bicycles and scooters.

They'll be no match for your

Teenage technology.

Excellent.

Once we defeat your school,

Every teenager in ours will have

Their own little sl*ve to carry

Their books and wash their

Sweaty gym clothes for them.

And for delivering them to

You, we'll be made

Honest-to-goodness

Eighth-graders.

Right?

Just make sure those

Kids next door are out of the

Picture.

Finally, by selling out this

Miserable school, we'll be made

Eighth-graders and be that much

Closer to glorious adulthood!

What?

What are you looking at?

A bunch of treasonous creeps.

Huh?

Any other words you'd like to

Say to the school before we

Throw you out of office?

What?

Aaaah!

You'll pay for this, nigel uno!

This isn't over yet!

[ Students cheering ]

Hendry middle school, three

Minutes and closing.

Repeating... Hendry middle

School, three minutes and

Closing.

The big kids are coming!

[ All screaming ]

Calm down!

Hold on!

Gallagher elementary!

Today, the delightful children

Played our grades against each

Other so that they could become

Eighth-graders.

Me, I'm a fourth-grader... And

If you think I'm going to let a

Bunch of gawky middle-school

Kids come and make me carry

Their books for them, then

They're going to have to do it

Over my noogied, purple-nurpled

Body!

[ Students cheering ]

Gallagher elementary, battle

Stations!

Yeah, let's go get them!

Let's get those guys!

Hey, chad.

Like, gallagher elementary is

Almost totally in range.

- [ Laughs ] - they launched some fighters, but

Just like those delightful dudes

Promised, they're, like, so

Barely armed.

Sweet.

Mr. Dixon...

I prefer if you and

Mr. Cavallero discussed invading

Elementary schools after my

Class.

Yes, mrs. Vanderbarn.

We barely had enough time to

Get this bikes up to fighting

Specs.

How are we going to take on

Teenage technology?

Don't worry.

- Every middle school has a weak - point.

- I've locked the coordinates into - everyone's targeting computers

To find it.

- ]] All right, everyone, this is - fourth-grade leader.

All grades check in.

- ]] First-grade leader standing - by.

Second-grade leader good to

Go!

We're all doomed, but

Third-graders are standing by.

Fifth-graders ready to rock.

- ]] All right, team leaders, you - know what to do.

- The minute you see an opening, - go in.

No problem.

This will be just like riding

The streets of san francisco

When I was 5.

Whoa!

Heads up, g*ng!

Here they come!

Whoa!

I'm hit!

I can't hold her!

Oh!

They got fifth-grade leader!

I told you we were doomed!

Watch out, third grade.

Teenagers coming up behind you.

- ]] [ Gasps ] - ]] [ cries ]

[ Screams ]

I've been hit!

[ Screaming ]

[ Groaning ]

This is the second-grade

Leader.

We're going in.

Follow me!

Watch out for those fountain

g*ns!

Whoa!

[ Groans ]

We lost jesse!

Keep pedaling!

We're almost there!

Coli-i-i-i-i-i-n!

Yeah, it's going to be

Totally cool.

We'll all have little twerps to,

Like, clean out our lockers and

Stuff.

Hey!

What's that kid doing here?!

Dude, like, uh...

Some of the science nerds have

Analyzed the grade-schoolers'

att*ck, and we might, like,

Uh...

Have a problem.

It's those kids next dorks!

Ready my bike.

[ Growls ]

And don't scratch it or nothing!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Screaming ]

Somebody please help me!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Nap time, kid.

Dude!

[ Crash ]

Oh... Dude.

Mind if I drop in, kid?

And step on it, baby!

They're right over there!

This is second-grade att*ck.

- I'm 100 meters to target and - closing.

Wait, the water g*ns have

Stopped f*ring.

Look out!

[ Crash ]

There's an entrance coming up

At seven zero niner.

Let's go!

- ]] This is the fourth-grade - leader.

We're going in.

- The target is right around the - corner.

Well, take it out, then!

All this water is peeling the

Stickers off my bike!

The water cannons...

They've stopped.

Well, that's much better.

Ick!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Whoa!

[ Screaming ]

My stickers!

One down, two to go.

I'm hit!

Stay on target.

I'm on the leader.

Get out of the way!

My left tire!

I got to pull out!

- ]] Don't you go anywhere, - numbuh 2!

We're only 100 meters to target.

Don't worry, numbuh 1.

I ain't pulling out alone.

What?!

[ Sighs ]

Go, hendry hooligans?

Ow!

- ]] There's no one to protect you - now.

Almost there!

Huh?!

Principal hendry's office?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I'm taking the sh*t.

N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Ha!

Nice sh*t, loser.

Now to finish you.

Huh?

[ Screaming ]

Chad dixon!

What is a bike doing in my

School, let alone in my office?!

[ Panting ]

Hey, there you guys are.

Where's numbuh 1?

I stayed as long as I could.

You got to believe me!

I did all I could!

He's still in there?

Aw, come on, numbuh 1.

[ Growling ]

[ Screaming ]

Oh!

[ Sighs ]

[ Students cheering ]

Nice sh*t, mr. President.

My fellow gallagher

Elementary students,

Thank you for electing me for

The office of fourth grade...

[ Clears throat ]

Uh...

[ Whispers ]

What?!

What do you mean I didn't win?

Um, I just told you you'd won

So you'd help me get out of

Detention.

The real winner of the election

Was...

Eggbert eggleston!

[ Students cheering ]

Eggboy?

Who would vote for him?

[ Nervous laughter ]

[ Whistling ]

Eggceptional...

Eggducated...

Eggunanimalicious...

These are all words kids from

Gallagher elementary have used

To describe fourth-grade

Presidential candidate

Eggbert eggleston.

He's seen good times, and he's

Seen bad times, but eggbert

Isn't the kind to scramble key

Points or over easy on real

Issues.

- Eggbert eggleston... If you're - not voting for him, the yolk's

On you.

- This ad paid for by the "we love - egg boy, oh, yes we do, we love

- Egg boy, how about you" - coalition, and is endorsed,

- Approved, and otherwise - okeydokeyed by eggbert eggleston

- And all members of the eggboy - for fourth-grade president

Campaign.