05x09 - Operation R.E.C.R.U.I.T./Operation D.A.D.D.Y.

[bunniefuu]

So, you must not have gotten

The last 37 videos I sent you

Guys.

Hey, that's coolio.

Stuff like that happens.

So I'm making you another one.

And by the end of this tape, I'm

Sure you'll realize that I'm

Totally kids next door material!

When evil adults like the

Homeworkinator try making kids

Take tests 27 hours a day, I'll

Give 'em this!

And this!

[ Grunting ]

I told you to keep it down up

There, kids!

Oh, yeah?!

Try making me, evil adult!

What did you say?!

Nothing, mom.

I'll deal with her and her

Fiendish adult ways later.

[ Vehicle approaches ]

[ Tires screech ]

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Come on! Come on!

Oh, man.

This stinks.

I got to go b*at something up.

Take that! Hah!

You can't b*at...

[ Speaks indistinctly ]

What you got?

Show me what you got.

Yes!

Lift-off.

Ultra-worldwide high score!

Huh?

Hey!

What gives?!

"Are you in?"

Am I in what?

"What are your parents doing?"

Uh, I don't know.

"Check"?

Uh, okay, but don't go anywhere.

[ Gasps ]

[ Shrieking ]

I-i-i can't believe it!

My parents are...

Doing the dishes?

What's weird about that?

[ Knock on door ]

"If you want to learn what your

Parents are really up to, then

Come here."

[ Gasps ]

The kids next door!

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

I'm gonna fight adult evil!

I'm gonna fight adult... Uhh!

Hello?! Anyone here?!

Hello!

Man, someone's messing with me.

This place is totally abandoned.

It was abandoned.

Now we use it to interrogate new

Recruits.

Cool!

- Then I'm your... - Unh-unh.

- [ Motor whirring ] - [ beep ]

Frisk him.

Thought you could sneak in a

Spyratron voice recorder, huh?

Uh, numbuh 4, that was just a

Video game.

I know.

- I just like smashing rookies' - stuff.

Um, am I in the kids next

Door now?

Billy, billy, billy.

It's bobby.

Whatever.

You haven't even met him yet.

Good evening, bobby.

Please, have a seat.

Uh, okay.

Feel free to choose a

Lollipop, bobby, but this isn't

Just any choice.

If you take the cherry one,

You'll enjoy a nice, sweet

Lolly.

- Upon sucking your way to the gum - core, you'll forget everything

That's happened here and you can

Return to your life as a normal

Kid.

But if you take the boysenberry,

There's no turning back.

The sour, tangy taste will open

Your mind.

You'll see what the kids next

Door see.

You'll know what we know.

It's your choice, bobby.

Red or blue?

Excellent choice.

- [ Gasps ] - uhh!

Hang on to your heinie 'cause

You're going for a ride.

Coolio!

Holy mackerel.

Those are my parents, and that's

My special plate.

Believe me when I say that's

No ordinary plate, bobby.

It's a complicated computer

Disk.

From your kitchen's dishwasher,

It will be carried to a giant

Central mainframe, where its

Data will be extracted and put

To use.

Data?

Dna, bobby.

The disk stores your genetic

Material, which it absorbs from

Your unfinished food.

As it turns out, you should have

Cleaned your plate.

But what does it want with my

Dna?

The adults want to make an

Exact replica of you, bobby, but

- Mutated to be perfect in their - eyes.

Please, may I quietly do some

Chores now?

Thank you, mother and father.

But what happens to the real

Me?

You?

The replica can't survive

Without your dna, so your

Saliva is milked to feed it.

This is what the adults have in

Store for us.

This is how we will live, bobby.

No!

We've got to stop this from

Happening.

What can I do to help?

We need one of those disks

From this location.

But why can't I just go back

To my house and get one?

We didn't ask for your

Suggestions!

Just do as we say!

So, are you in, or are you

Out?

Hmm.

Now, where's that disk?

Yes!

And bingo was his name-o.

Uhh!

What is that boy doing with

Our fine china, mr. Wink?

Most annoying, mr. Fibb.

Fine china?!

I know what this really is, and

We kids next door are going to

Stop you!

Kids next door?!

Wait! No! Ow! Uhh!

Ow! Ow! My hair!

Ow! Uhh!

Got it.

Am I in the kids next door now?

sh**t, if it was that easy,

Every joe and jane in the

Sandbox would be operatives.

Now, we need some nonkid saliva

On that disk.

One strand of adult dna uploaded

Into the dishwasher mainframe,

And a whole crop of replica kids

Will be ruined.

And we've identified the

Perfect adult target.

And you get to wear this!

[ Cats meowing ]

[ Mumbling ] where's the

Scratching post?

[ Snores ]

[ Mumbling ]

Uhh!

Uhh!

[ Gasps ]

[ Grunts ]

Uhhh!

Whew.

That was...

[ Cats snarling ]

[ Shrieks ]

Me-ow.

Imposter!

Uhh!

[ Grunts ]

Uhh!

[ Snarling continues ]

Uhh! Ohh!

Uh-oh.

Oh, no!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Kitty...

Come back!

[ Shrieks ]

It's that pesky boy again,

Mr. Wink.

And again with our fine

China, mr. Fibb.

Ow! Can we talk about this?!

Ow! Please, stop!

[ Groaning ]

Huh?

Wah!

Did you get the saliva,

Bobby?

It's right... Here.

Am I in now?

A job well-done, bobby.

You might be the one...

To run all dish-and-saucer-based

Missions for the kids next door.

But before that, you have to

Put that saliva-covered dish

Into the adults' dishwasher

Mainframe.

When the information on that

Disk is downloaded, the whole

System will crash.

Coolio!

Whoa.

Uhh!

[ Shrieks ]

[ Ding ]

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Grunts ]

Numbuh 2 said the dish should go

In slot 87,000,570 "b."











Bingo!

[ Alarm blaring ]

Oh, no! The door!

[ Panting ]

Run!

[ Grunts ]

Uhh-hah-hah!

Uhh!

[ Coughs ]

[ Burps ]

And now for your next

Mission.

Oh, no!

You people are crazy!

This isn't worth it.

All that just to infiltrate the

Kids next door and destroy it

From the inside?!

[ Grunts ]

The interesting twins from

Beneath the mountain!

Father's greatest spies...

Did not come all the way to

This country to be humiliated by

You, kids next door!

We hereby refuse to spy on

You...

Any longer!

Together: but we'll be back.

[ Laughing ]

Victory is ours!

Uhh!

[ Both groan ]

[ Laughter ]

Wow!

The interesting twins!

Who would have guessed that?!

We knew all along, numbuh 3.

We did?

Yeah.

But can you believe they fell

For all that dishwasher mumbo

Jumbo?

Actually, it's not mumbo

Jumbo, numbuh 4.

Hey, come on, guys!

Stop messing with me!

Guys!

What's the status on this

One, numbuh 411?

Sector "w" just brought him

In, and it's not pretty.

Gum att*ck?

Worse.

[ Shouts indistinctly ]

Get him to operating room 74

Stat!

All right, peoples.

Let us see what we are to be

Working with here.

[ All scream ]

[ Shudders ]

Time is of the essence, peoples.

Skysors.

Skysors.

Molecular retractors.

Molecular retractors.

[ Drill whirring ]

Uh, he's not looking good.

- I have good knowledge of - this.

Mousse-ataneous scoop now.

Mousse-ataneous scoop.

You're making it worse.

I've got it under control!

Stylatonic crimper.

Stat...

I said "stylatonic"...

[ Flatline ]

[ Gasps ]

Cover him up.

I don't want his sector to see

Him like this.

Cool!

Numbuh 305, is he gonna be

Okay?

- Please tell me paddy will be all - right.

I am sorry, numbuh 83.

[ Exhales deeply ]

We did everything we could.

Can we at least see him?

Well, of course you can, but

I must warn you... He is, um,

Well, very hard to be looking at

Right now.

Paddy, are you okay?

[ Both scream ]

No! Don't look at me!

I'm hideous.

Yes, you are.

Every year, thousands of dads

Try to cut their kids' hair

Instead of taking them to a real

Barbershop.

We here at kids next door

Hairstyle headquarters can try

To style it back to some kind of

Coolness, but sometimes [cries]

It's just too late.

Well, it doesn't look that

Bad, paddy.

Yes, it does!

And you know it!

[ Cries ]

There he is!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Uhh!

Oh!

This is so confusing for me.

Whew!

Those kids next door stylists

Wanted to rub dog poop on my

- Head to see if it would grow my - hair back.

Of all the crazy, ridiculous...

Leaping lizzies!

What did they do to you?

It wasn't them.

It was my dad.

I used to have great hair...

Really cool hair... And then he

Had to go and cut it!

[ Crying ]

I completely understand.

I used to have really cool hair,

Too.

You... You did?

Yes... A long time ago,

Before I was even in the kids

Next door.

At least yours will grow back.

Mine is gone forever.

I guess you're right.

I just feel bad for my little

Brother.

- He must be freaking out right - now.

Your brother?

Yeah. Shaunie.

Dad said he was gonna cut his

Hair first thing tomorrow

Morning.

But that's only in a couple

Of hours!

Well, no kid's getting a bad

Haircut on my watch, but I'm

Going to need your help.

Numbuhs, sectors.

Numbuh 83, sir.

Soda, snacks, and treats

Officer.

Sector "w."

Numbuh 84, sir.

Tactical yo-yo specialist.

Sector "w."

Numbuh 85, sir!

Freak show of sector "w."

[ Cries ]

Listen, paddy, you stay here

And save your energy.

You're going to need it to deal

With everyone making fun of your

Hair.

- In the meantime, the rest of us - will rescue your brother before

He goes under the shears.

I don't know.

My dad's kind of a sorehead.

And if you wake up my sister,

Forget it.

She's worse than him.

I've yet to meet an adult or

Older sister the kids next door

Couldn't handle.

Kids next door g.o.g.o.

G.o.r.i.l.l.a.

- Giant, oversized - ground-polluterating gizmo

Obviously resembles impossibly

Large lumbering ape.

Obviously resembles impossibly

Large lumbering ape.

Sonya, what are you trying to

Do... Tell the whole

Neighborhood we're here?

But I'm afraid of the dark!

I don't care if...

Shh!

[ Snoring ]

That must be the amateur

Barber.

- We better get paddy's brother - and get out of here before he

Wakes up.

Cool.

Must be the sister's room.

She's got more rainbow monkeys

Than numbuh 3.

Look.

Whaa!

Yah!

Sonya!

Please, dad, no!

Don't cut my hair like paddy's!

Don't worry, shaunie.

- The kids next door are here to - rescue you.

- Just pack your things, and let's - get out of here.

Gee, I don't know.

My dad's gonna be awful sore if

I miss breakfast.

Fine!

Enjoy your rainbow munchies

While you look like your

Brother!

Jammering jippers!

I'm with you guys!

All right, then.

Let's move out and...

Shh!

[ Snoring ]

Sonya!

Pull the... Huh?

What are you doing in my

House, numbuh 1?!

And what are you doing out of

Bed, shaunie?!

I'm just getting a drink of

Water, dad.

Mr. Boss.

I should have known a villain

Like you would do such a thing

To a kid's hair.

But to your own son?!

What? It looks great.

- A real work of art, if you ask - me.

Knock it off.

We're taking shaunie away and

Putting him into the kids next

Door haircut-protection program

So you'll never do to him what

You did to paddy.

Oh, no, you don't.

Shaunie, go to your room!

Okay, dad.

Not a chance.

You're coming with us.

All right, numbuh 1!

We'll do this the hard way!

[ Laughs evilly ]

Look out!

Uhh!

Dad, stop! Please!

There's no way I'm paying 4

Bucks for a haircut at some

Fancy-schmancy barbershop,

Shaunie, so I'm cutting your

Hair tomorrow, kids next door or

Not!

Uhh!

[ Panting ]

Wahh!

Huh?

[ Laughs evilly ]

Uhh.

Hyah!

Nice sh*t, numbuh 84.

Now reel him in.

[ Laughs evilly ]

In this house, brats don't get

Free rides.

Looks like you two could use a

Little off the top.

Come in, kids next door

Command.

We need immediate backup.

This better be good,

Sector "w"!

Do you have any idea what time

It is?!

[ Laughs evilly ]

[ Screaming ]

Now to stuff you brats into

My deep, dark basement until I

Figure out how to dispose of

You.

Dark basement?!

Hey, hey, hey, kid.

What... What are you doing?

[ Screaming ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

What is all the racket

About?!

[ Gasps ]

Daddy?

What's going on here?!

Numbuh 86, mr. Boss is your

Dad?

Not cool.

Of course he's my dad!

This is my house!

Duh!

But he's my sector's

Archenemy.

He hates kids.

Daddy, is this true?

Uh, of course not, fanny.

Oh, come on!

What about the time you tried

Sending all your employees'

Daughters to pluto?

Not my daughter.

I love my kids.

It's just everyone else's I

Hate.

But, fanny, you're one of the

Kids next door like numbuh 1 and

His bratty friends?

Why didn't you tell me?

I-i was afraid you wouldn't

Love me anymore if you knew I

Fought adult tyranny.

[ Crying ] oh, daddy!

[ Muttering ]

Oh, jeez, fanny.

Calm down, for pete's sake.

It's okay if you're in the

Stupid kids next door.

You're still my little

Fanny pants.

Really?

Sure.

And I'll tell you what.

You and your friends keep

Battling adult tyranny, and me

And my friends will keep trying

To make other kids' lives

Miserable.

[ Giggling ]

Not if the kids next door stops

You first, daddy.

[ Laughs ]

That's my girl!

Dad, does this mean you're

Still cutting my hair tomorrow?

Do you mind, shaunie?!

Dad and I are trying to have a

Moment here!

Knock it off, you two!

Hey, as long as we're up, who

Wants pancakes?

I want pancakes!

How about you kids?

You want some pancakes?

Uh, sure.

Pancakes would be great.

Then go to a diner!

Now get out of my house!

[ Shouts indistinctly ]



♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door

[ Electric guitar solo ]

♪ Kids next door

♪ Kids next door