06x04 - Operation W.H.I.T.E.H.O.U.S.E.

[bunniefuu]

Oh, man.

Last night's root-beer party

Must have been a wild one.

Ohh.

My head's k*lling me.

[ Screaming ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Secure area.

All: securing the area.

All clear.

All clear.

Are you all right,

President uno?

President?!

There must be some kind of

Mistake.

I am not the president of the

United states!

President uno, sir!

You can't do a press conference

In your boxers.

- At least, not until your second - term.

[ Snaps fingers ]

[ Indistinct talking ]

Numbuh 3? Is that you?

Hey!

Stop that! Ow!

No, no! Leave me alone!

[ Giggling ]

It tickles!

A suit?!

Great hair as usual,

Mr. President.

- Now, we have a busy day ahead of - us.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Slow down, kuki.

What in blazes is going on here?

I'm telling you what's going

On, sir, so you don't make a

- Fool of yourself in front of the - national press corps.

Aah!

Come on!

Gah!

Hey, quit shoving!

- [ Gulps ] - uh...

- [ Indistinct shouting ] - ]] what are you doing about the

Rising price of liverwurst?

- ]] Is it true we're losing the - w*r against the hated

Kids next door?

Hated?!

Are you going to triple the

Tax on rainbow monkeys?

- ]] Tax?! Rainbow... - ]] President uno!

Tell us more about today's

Historic signing of the bill of

No rights for kids and how it

Will forever stamp out the

Kids next door!

What?!

Stamp out the kids next door?

Why, i-i could never do that!

I can answer that one,

Mr. President.

General beetles!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Numbuh 4? Is that you?

Ladies and gentlemen, it is

High time we put an end to the

Kids next door's ridiculous

Agenda of promoting later

Bedtimes and less homework!

So we will immediately use the

Combined might of the army,

Navy, air force, and marine

Animals to smash those twerps

Back to the phone age!

All we need is our president to

Sign this, uh... Thinly sliced

Thing with big words on it.

But, wally, I'm a

Kids next door operative, and so

Are you.

[ Laughs ]

Mr. President, you are such a

cr*ck-up!

[ Laughs ]

And he's cracking up, too.

No wonder you're the president

With that clever wit of yours,

And, oh! And great hair, too.

He does have great hair!

- ]] I can see my reflection in - it.

It's so shiny.

I'm furious!

We're all kids next...

That's all the time we have

Today, people!

The president has some important

Bill signing to do!

Can you please stay more on

Message next time,

Mr. President?

That was too close.

Hello, mr. President.

Great hair, mr. President!

This way.

Have fun signing that bill,

President uno.

The whole world is watching!

- ]] [ Gulps ] - ]] heya, big guy!

Today's bill-signing day!

You must be excited!

Numbuh 2? Is that you?

With a moustache?

Sir, I've told you a thousand

Times not to call me numbuh 2.

I prefer the title

"Vice-president."

Here we are, sir, and perfect

Timing.

Your son is already here.

Son?!

I-i-i-i have a son?!

I know.

You get so busy, you forget

Sometimes.

Shirley, come greet your dad.

Shirley?

Yes, father.

Do you need any chores done?

My son's name is shirley?!

Your wife wanted a girl, sir.

I'm married?!

Kuki sanban!

What is the meaning of this?!

Did you forget to invite me to a

Photo opportunity again?!

"Forget" is an

Understatement.

You know the president

Doesn't do any pictures without

His beautiful and fashionable

Wife by his side!

Uh, lizzie? We're married?

No. I became first lady by

Mail order.

Of course we're married!

Now, come on!

- Let's take some pictures - already!

Aah!

Shirley!

Get your tokus over here!

And remember to smile.

Yes, mother.

Not you!

I was talking to nigel!

This isn't happening.

This isn't happening.

Now, just sign on the dotted

Line, sir, and this long,

Strange nightmare will be over.

[ Camera shutters clicking ]

The "bill of no rights for

Kids"?!

And the end of this whole

Kids next door menace!

Jeez, they are such a nuisance!

Destroying the nation's spinach

Farms, breaking federal

Root-beer laws, growing illegal

Corn-dog crops!

Finally, we can be rid of them,

And all you have to do is

Sign...

That...

Bill.

Get... Get rid of the

Kids next door?

Oh, what are you going to do to

Them?

It's better you not know,

Sir.

That way, you can't get in

Trouble if our "methods" become

Public.

- [ Camera shutter clicks ] - ]] prepare the troops for

Operation k.n. Done for good!

Uh, ooh, uh... Sorry.

Wrong number.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

Ohh!

- ]] Nigey, what are you waiting - for?!

Get to signing!

Uh, uh, i-i-i-i... I just

Need to...

[ Chuckles nervously ]

I-i-i just have to, uh... Go to

The bathroom real quick.

I don't see why he got to be

President.

It's the hair.

He's got great hair.

- ]] Well, I've got great hair, - too!

Yeah, but yours is on your

Lip.

Nigey!

- Is everything coming out okay in - there?

Maybe he had a big breakfast.

He didn't have any breakfast!

Security!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Nigey? Where are you?

Nigey!!

[ Panting ]

[ Vehicle approaching ]

This is general beetles!

I'll promote everyone that finds

The president to veterinarian!

[ Panting ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Crying ]

This can't be real.

I must be dreaming.

Maybe if I pinch myself.

Ouch! Aah!

Oh, no!

[ Screaming ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Well, glad to see some things

Haven't changed.

- [ Beeping ] - it looks like all the defense

- Systems I designed are still in - place.

Let's see if I still got it.

[ High-pitched tone ]

Hyah!

[ Panting ]

Mmm.

creamy peanut butter?

Whatever happened to standards?

[ Beeps ]

Hmm.

Where are the kids next door?

Right here!

[ g*n cocks ]

[ g*nf*re ]

- ]] I didn't come here to fight - you!

Hey!

I came for your help!

How about we help you find

The door, adult!

Sorry about that, guys, but

You didn't think you could

Defeat me in here?

I know this tree house like the

Back of my...

Uh?

How'd he get in?

Only kids next door ops know

The mailbox codes.

Dude, do you know who this

Guy is?

Who is it?

Who broke into our tree house?

It... It's your dad, sir.

Wha?

[ Gasps ]

You're the leader of sector "v,"

Shirley?

[ Laughter ]

Don't call me that!

Around here, I'm called "viggo."

[ Chuckles ]

"Viggo"?

- You'd be better off keeping - "shirley."

[ Laughter ]

[ Growls ]

Just call me numbuh 1,600, okay?

And what I want to know is what

Are you doing here in my

Tree house?

Look, I know this is going to

Sound crazy, but I don't belong

In this world.

Before I woke up today, I wasn't

An adult, I didn't have a son,

And I certainly wasn't president

Of the united states.

I was numbuh 1 of the

Kids next door.

y were numbuh 1?

You never told us your dad was

Numbuh 1, shirley!

It's viggo!

And there's no way my dad was

The numbuh 1.

My dad's a kid-hating adult who

Only cares about his stupid

Hair and is on the verge of

Signing a bill that would take

- Away the rights of every kid in - this country!

Then I can't be your dad!

- I would never sign a bill like - that!

- I-i... - ]] He ain't signing nothing if

We glue his hands to his butt!

- ]] Yeah, and let's shave his - head, too!

But... But I really am

Numbuh 1!

- If I wasn't, why would I come - here?

How would I know how to get past

The defenses?

Answer me that shir... I mean,

Numbuh 1,600.

Um...

[ Crashing ]

Attention, kids next stupid!

You have three seconds to hand

Over president uno before we

Blow your cruddy tree house into

Lots of tiny trees and houses!

One...

Uh... Mnh...

What comes next?

Uh, that loopy one, right?

Great, shirley!

Your dad set us up!

No!

They must have followed me here.

Look, we've got at least 10

Minutes before numbuh 4 can

Figure out how to count to 3, so

Here's the plan.

No!

Haven't you done enough already?

You're a real jerk, dad, and to

Think, for a minute, I almost

Believed you were numbuh 1.

Look, i-i...

Lock him up!

If we have the president, he

Can't sign that bill.

Wait!

What if he's telling the truth?

What if he's not?!

What if he's just wacko like

Your mom?

You shut up about my mom!

Me shut up?

Yeah!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Enough!

You've got to believe me.

I a numbuh 1.

- ]] And I'm the queen of the - rainbow monkeys.

[ g*n cocks ]

Move it along, baldy!

- ]] Uh, uh, but I'm telling the - truth!

You've got to believe me!

Sir, more troops are

Approaching!

What do we do?!

Defense grid up!

- Let's show those adults what - we're made of.

Battle stations!

Uh, is it 64?

Uh, no, no, no. Don't tell me.

Aah!

Oh, you want to fight, do you?!

Bring in the navy!

Uh... Do you guys mind if I

Stop in the bathroom for a

Second?

Oh, come on.

We're the kids next door.

We invented that trick.

Whoa!

Hey! What...

Numbuh 5,000? Why are you...

No time. Come on.

I'll take you to numbuh 5.

Numbuh 5?

You know where she is?

Of course I do. She's my mom.

[ Steam hisses ]

Come on!

This way!

Mom?

Who's there?

It's me... Leopold.

I brought someone to see you.

Numbuh 5?

It's me... Numbuh 1.

Aah!

What are you doing here, you

Traitor?!

How dare you bring him here?

Of all people!

And tuck in your shirt, sweetie.

It looks sloppy.

But, mom, he remembers!

- Just like all the stuff you told - me.

Bull pucky!

He's the one that put me in this

Adult home for the criminally

Childish in the first place!

And all because he's afraid that

I'll tell everybody that he used

To be a kids next door

Operative!

Abby, listen to me!

I'm not that nigel, and I didn't

Do any of that!

Yesterday, i-i was a 10-year-old

Boy in the kids next door, and

When I woke up this morning, I

Was all grown up and... And the

President of the united states!

[ Laughs ]

And you used to have great hair.

What happened?

Your stylist go on vacation?

I'm serious.

Ask me anything about the

Kids next door.

Who was the leader when you

Was in basic training?

Numbuh 100.

Where is sector "i" located?

India!

When did you pass the

Kids next door entrance exam?

I didn't pass it.

You... You hacked into the

System and changed my grades so

I'd get in.

Who had a crush on numbuh 3?

And don't say numbuh 4.

Nigel!

- We've been looking everywhere - for you!

You couldn't pick up a phone or

Leave a note or something?!

And what in the world happened

To your hair?!

Oh, hello, numbuh 2!

I told you not to call me

That, you weirdo!

I am vice-president of the

United states.

Now, the president has a bill to

Sign... After a visit to his

Stylist!

- ]] But... - ]] Nigel, go to the

Washington monument.

It can take you home.

What?

Don't listen to that nut job,

Nigel!

Can you imagine us as

Kids next door operatives?

I mean, even if we were, we're

Adults now.

Things are different.

All: leaving, leaving.

Leaving, leaving.

Uh, yeah.

[ Chuckles ]

Uh, different. Hey!

Do you mind if I hit the

Bathroom before we sign that

Bill?

Keep this "going to the

Bathroom" thing up, and we'll

Have to start calling you

"John"!

Get it? "John"?!

Bathroom?!

Yeah, funny.

[ Both laugh ]

Uh, I'll, uh, be right back.

I'll take it from here, fellas.

All: waiting, waiting.

Uh, I got to get out of here!

Peeing assistance,

Mr. President?

[ Chuckles nervously ]

No, no, no.

I was just, uh, getting some

Fresh air in here.

Shall I call in an

Air-freshening squad, sir?

No, thanks!

Ohh!

What do I do now?

[ Banging ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Silence ]

Numbuh 2?

Ohh!

Come on, numbuh 1, let's go!

Shirley?

What are you... Yaow!

First of all, don't call me

"Shirley"!

And second, we're getting you

Out of here.

Uh, where's numbuh 2?

Okay, boys!

Get back the president from

Those kids next kidnappers!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Hey, what's that?

You mean you don't remember,

Numbuh 4?

Kids next door lemonade.

Lemony expl*sive makes

Outstanding noise and douses

Enemies.

Oh, crud.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Move it!

Wait for me!

- ]] [ Whistling ] - aah!

Here's the exit!

Cover me while I set the

Charges!

So, numbuh 1,600, why did you

Finally decide to help me?

I realized you were numbuh 1

When you cut off your hair.

There's nothing that could have

Made my real father do that.

Man, how cool would it be if you

Really were my dad?

Well, if you were my son, I'd

Be very proud of you.

You two want to have a

Father-and-son picnic, or do you

Want to bust out of this joint?

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Look! Over there!

Numbuh 5 told me the

Washington monument could get me

Home.

You heard numbuh 1.

Let's move.

[ Grunts ]

After them!

[ All panting ]

We made it, but how is this

Thing going to get me home?

Whoa!

It's a... It's a spaceship.

Not exactly, kid!

It's more of a

Dimensional-travel machine, but

Yes, nigel, it can get you home.

Weapons, please!

You don't belong here.

The only thing I can figure is

That the real nigel uno is

Trapped in some parallel

Dimension.

Or maybe hoboken.

Regardless, I'll send you back

To your world, and hopefully,

he'll come back to ours.

So you're letting me go?

Yep!

Just sign the bill of no rights

For kids, and you're out of

Here.

I can't do that, hoagie.

I'd be dooming these kids.

So what do you care?!

Once you're home, this'll all

Just be a bad dream!

So just sign the bill and get

Out of here!

[ Breathing heavily ]

I said no.

Aah!

Why are you always so

Stubborn?!

Sign the stupid bill before we

make you sign it!

Look, you're surrounded!

[ Whimpers ]

No! No, i...

Aah!

Mr. President, as your most

Trusted adviser, I highly

Recommend signing the bill.

No!

I won't!

Aah!

Don't sign it!

Then I get to kick your butt

Before i make you sign it!

No. I-i-i can't.

Aah!

Just sign it and go home,

Numbuh 1.

We'll be okay here.

I promise.

Save yourself.

No.

I'll never betray the

Kids next door, even if i am an

Adult.

That's too bad.

All troops, ready to fire in

Three...

Darn it. What comes after that?

Ah, forget it!

Fire!

Numbuh 1!

No!

Don't do it! Aah!

I get it now.

What? But that's unpossible!

All units, att*ck!

[ Grunting ]

Aaaaah!

[ Roaring ]

[ Roars ]

Aah!

Army, navy, air force, marine

Animals, skunky scouts, get him!

[ Roaring ]

Huh?

[ Screaming ]

[ Monitor beeps ]

- [ Gasps ] - where... Where am i?

Kids next door moon base

Hospital.

Your teammates brought you here

After you were knocked out by

- One of the toilenator's potty - bombs.

How long have I been out?

- ]] Well, only about 10 minutes - or so.

That's impossible!

It had to be longer than that.

I-i was in some other world

Where I was the president.

And... Oh, oh... And they wanted

Me to sign a bill that would

Destroy the kids next door!

It was a test or something.

You'd need better hair than

That to be president.

Come on.

Let's get some cake and ice

Cream in you to get your

Strength back up.

But it wasn't a dream!

It was more than that!

Okay.

I'd say numbuh 1 performed

Well, don't you think?

He's not ready yet.

Proceed with the test.

But discontinue use of chester's

Happy headband to influence his

Dreams.

I don't want him catching on to

Us... Yet.

It was the strangest dream.

I was the president, and... And,

Numbuh 2, you were the

Vice-president.

And, numbuh 3, you looked just

Like your mom.

Numbuh 4, you tried to k*ll me

With skunky scouts and whales.

And numbuh 5, you were old

And... And insane, and...

What?

Why are you guys staring at me?

Guys?

[ Screaming ]

Aah!

Man, I have got to stop watching

Those stupid old movies.