01x01 - Flood Warning

[bunniefuu]

- This is me, eliza thornberry,

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin-- he found us.

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves,

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show,

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

And between you and me, something amazing happened,

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

- Ahh!

Ahh!

- [Tribal chanting]

- Mount kilimanjaro, africa's highest peak,

And roaming in its shadow, that king of beasts:

The lion,

Known to local tribesmen as--

[Sputtering]

Blah. - Cut.

Ugh.

Well, we better get this sh*t

Before the storm hits.

- [Spits]

Sorry, love.

- You know, I'm not sure what it is,

But this sh*t's missing something.

- Yeah, like lions.

- Lions.

Panthera leo.

The royal family of the savanna.

Golden shadows.

Flashing claws.

Hunting with almost scientific precision.

Taking down a buffalo

With a single bite of their massive jaws.

It's beautiful.

- Can you believe we've been out here three days

And we haven't seen a single lion?

- Consider yourself very, very lucky.

- How can you say that?

Lions are cool.

- Yes.

Cool, cuddly, k*lling machines.

Ouch.

- [Gibbering]

- Movement, that's it.

This should be a tracking sh*t.

Think of it, nigel.

You could do your opening with the whole vast savannah

Playing out behind you.

- Goodness, gracious,

Do you mean you could get all these mountains

To move along behind me?

That seems inconceivable.

- I'm talking about the camera moving

With you on top of the comvee.

If only I could drive the comvee and sh**t at the same time.

- I'll drive the comvee.

- Oh, no.

The comvee's not like a car, darling.

Driving it's pretty complicated.

- And what am i, simple?

I'm .

It is my divine right to be behind the wheel,

And I shouldn't be penalized just 'cause you and dad

Decided to drive around in some whacked out survivo-vehicle

Instead of a station wagon like regular parents.

- Well...

[Sighs]

Oh, all right.

Come on over, honey.

- Yes, mother.

- [Gibbering]

- All right.

There's the ignition switch,

And the starter button,

The choke, and the throttle.

Now, it tends to run a little hot,

But if you keep an eye on the oil pressure and--

Your sister's going to drive the comvee?

- Yeah, debbie's gonna drive the comvee, ugh,

But she's not going to talk to lions.

- So she's not gonna get eaten.

- Well, I guess that's about it.

You think you can handle it?

- Ugh, of course.

It's just like grandma's ' dart.

I drove that when I was .

- You what?

- I don't mean drove.

I mean-- it's just a figure of speech.

- Oh, well, I just don't know what to think.

- Yep, just like I said.

Not even remotely similar to grandma's ' dart.

Oh, well.

[Engine revving]

- Remember, debbie, nice and ea--

Oh!

- Ahh! - Oh.

- Ahh!

- The lion, known to local tribesmen as--

Ahh!

Oof.

- Whoo-hoo, whoo!

- Great goodall, they're headed straight

For the riverbed.

[All screaming]

- [Gasps]

Well, now that we got the kinks out,

I guess we can try one for real.

- [Sighs]

[Thunderclap]

- Gracious.

What a smashing storm.

Great torrents of water.

- What?

I only get one chance?

[Engine grinding]

- [Gibbering]

- Whoa.

- Uh-oh.

Debbie, get up on the roof.

- Hold tight, everybody.

- [Grunts]

- [Panting]

Darwin, give me a hand.

[Both grunting]

Dad, grab the branch.

- That's a girl, eliza.

Oh!

[Gasps]

[Thunderclap]

Marianne, debbie, grab my waist.

Nice, deep breath, everyone.

- Mom, dad, debbie!

- [Gasps]

[All panting]

- Over here, grab my hand.

- You people aren't actually thinking

About spending the night here, are you?

Come on.

We know the comvee stayed afloat.

Why don't we go after it?

All we have to do is follow the riverbed.

- Quite true, but we don't know how far downriver it is.

Rather safer to just stay put.

Wouldn't fancy being stuck out there when night falls.

- Then when do we get the comvee?

- I suppose it'll be tomorrow sometime.

- So we'll be here all night, right?

- Oh, we'll be fine here.

Yeah, we've got clean water, freeze-dried food,

And pretty soon we'll have an nice fire,

But in the meantime, here,

Everyone can wrap up in a nice space blanket.

- I feel like a leftover.

- So what now?

- We do what we thornberrys do best:

Snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Step one: we gather reeds.

Ha.

That's the idea, donnie.

- [Gibbering]

- You see that?

I always said the boy was sharp as a tack.

Now, we're going to need a great, heaping stack

Of these things, so we'd best get to it.

Come on, lad.

We've got reeds to gather.

Come along.

Come along, yes.

Oh, yes, very good.

- Dad!

Why are you gathering reeds?

- To build a caballito, of course.

- [Gibbering]

- Mom, what's a caballito?

- Well, it's obviously some kind of--

Uh, I'm sure your father, uh--

- It looks like a hut.

- Yes, it's a hut.

Right.

Why don't you go help your father with his hut?

I'll have dinner ready before you know it.

- Okay, come on, darwin.

- [Chattering]

- [Sighs]

- Ahh!

All right.

"Sigh, sigh, sigh."

Will you just come out and say it?

- Pardon me?

- Let me tell you something, mom.

I'm sorry I lost the comvee, okay?

[Sighs]

Okay?

- Well, I don't blame you, dear.

Things like this just happen.

Now, let's just snuggle up in our space blankets

And have a granola bar.

- You just can't stop riding me, can you?

- I am not riding you.

I am just trying to get you to have a granola bar.

- Always have to have it your way, don't you, mom?

- Debbie, I am trying to turn this stupid bag of powder

Into tuna tetrazzini,

And I'm trying to do it with a smile on my face

And a song in my heart,

Which would be a lot easier

If you didn't cop attitude just this minute.

Granola bar?

- I'll be in my room.

- [Sighs]

- Splendid work.

Ha, smashing.

- You know, I read it's the female lions

Who do most of the hunting.

They'll surround an animal,

And then one will att*ck.

When the animal runs, another cuts it off.

Then with one bite they--

- Wouldn't it be nice to talk about, oh,

Anything else in the world?

Eliza.

- [Gibbering]

- That's very nice, donnie.

- Yes, it is, indeed.

Looks like the dayak yameni dance

And he's performing it flawlessly.

Good thing too.

It's meant to ward off predators in the night.

[Growling]

- [Whimpering]

- Cool.

- Oh, man.

Dad has finally totally lost it.

- Ha.

- Well, it sure is shaping up, that--

What did you call it?

- Caballito.

- Right.

But does it really need

The little curly parts?

- But of course.

It's a caballito.

I've barely roughed in the basic frame yet.

- This is ridiculous.

I've got to go get the comvee.

- [Snoring]

- [Screams]

- [Gibbering]

- Donnie, where I'm going is dangerous.

Do you understand?

Too dangerous for you.

Now I have to go.

- [Gibbering]

- Donnie, you have to go back.

Now go.

- [Gibbering]

- No, donnie.

Go back.

- Oh.

- Whoa.

- [Gibbering]

- [Sighs]

No.

- [Gibbering]

- Don't worry, donnie.

I'll be back before morning.

[Lion growls]

[Gasps]

[Imitates lion's growl]

Is someone there?

Um, hi.

- [Growls]

- It's a great honor

To meet such a magnificent lion as yourself, sir.

- [Growls]

- You look so handsome, wise, regal.

- You keep missing my most important quality.

[Growls]

- Uh, let's see.

Oh, sure.

You're strong.

- [Growls]

- Ah, fast. - [Growls]

- Dignified?

- [Snoring]

- [Hooting]

[Gasps]

- [Gibbering]

- Ahh!

- Uh, well-groomed?

Oh, patient.

Non-violent.

Okay, okay, okay, give me a minute.

- I'm hungry.

- [Gasps]

[Screams]

- [Growls]

- [Panting]

- [Growls]

[Branch breaks]

- [Screams]

- [Growls]

- [Panting]

- [Growls]

[Laughter]

- [Gasps]

- Hmm, straight into the pricker bush.

Typical.

- Cute trick.

- [Growls]

- If he went on a hunt once and a while,

He might not be so clumsy.

- Male lions never hunt.

It's the female lions who do most of the work.

They're the best hunters in the world.

- Oh, thank you.

- And now, you're about to see

Some of that hunting firsthand.

- Really?

Oh, cool.

- Hmm.

Now, that's a new one.

- But that's why I'm here.

I came to watch you hunt.

- Watch?

Oh, no.

You're not going to be watching, darling.

You're going to be running.

- [Gasps]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You don't want to hunt me.

No, no, no, you want me to--

You want me to help you hunt.

- Really?

Do go on.

- [Snoring]

[Warthog snorting]

[Laughing]

Good morning to you, marianne.

- [Yawns]

Morning, hon.

[Sniffs]

Ugh.

Nigel.

Ahh!

[Warthog snorts]

- [Laughs]

Do I know you?

[Laughs]

- Debbie and eliza are gone.

Well, darwin, donnie, everybody.

- Excuse me.

- [Gasps]

Debbie must have gone after the comvee.

- But eliza went off this way.

- But what are we gonna do?

- We're going to finish the caballito.

Come on.

[Panting]

- Come on, I'm wiry and clever,

And you know I'm a quick thinker, and I'm fearless.

Oh, absolutely fearless.

- Just for running our friend back there

Into the pricker bush, we should let her come along.

Don't be so hard-nosed.

She'll be fine.

- She's got to be more than fine.

- I can do it.

- Can you?

Can you pad silently up behind a herd of zebra?

Pounce like lightning

And bring down an animal twice your size?

Well?

- Um, yeah.

- Listen to you.

You were skinnier than that when you were a cub.

Besides, one more set of eyes won't hurt.

- [Growls]

[Purrs]

All right, human,

Let's see what you've got.

- Hold on, hold on.

I just wanted to kind of, you know, follow along.

- Your choice: hunt or be hunted.

- That's the way it is.

- Oh, man. - [Gasps]

[Gulps]

[Relieved sigh]

- [Growls]

Mmm, there's a little meat on that one.

- And you're in luck.

She looks tired.

- Uh.

- Don't worry, honey.

It's easy once you break the skin.

- [Screams]

- Whoa.

- [Growls]

- Oh, oh, get--

- When I say "go," run.

This is not a test.

- What's with you?

Are you serious?

- She may be small, but she's got spunk.

- Ahh!

[Both grunting]

- [Gibbering]

- You came all the way out here just to fight?

- [Gibbering]

- Run!

- Ahh!

- [Growls]

- This is so screwed up.

[All yelling]

[Lions growling]

[All panting]

- [Gasps]

Donnie!

[Whip cracking]

- [Both scream]

- [Growls]

- Eliza, debbie, over here!

Both: mom, dad.

- Oh.

- [Gibbering]

Whoa.

- Hello, girls.

Goodness, are those lions?

- Lions?

But they could have-- you could have--oh, boy.

- I'm so sorry for everything.

[All gasp]

I'm sorry.

- So it was a boat you were building.

- A caballito, invented by indigenous fishermen

In southern peru.

Of course, my version is a bit crude.

If only we'd had more reeds.

[Warthog snorting]

- Hello, hoggy.

[All cheering]

- It's here.

It's perfect,

And it didn't go over a cliff in flames.

- Go over a cliff in flames?

- Like grandma's ' dart.

Oops.

Never mind.

- Now then, what would you say

If I whipped up a batch of porridge

And thawed out a brace of kippers?

Wouldn't that be smashing?

- You know, we're only four hours out of nairobi.

Why don't we hop in the comvee and go have breakfast there?

- You mean with a table and a waitress?

- Dad?

- Yes, let's.

Oh, debbie, why don't you drive?

Smashing good job, debbie.

You're doing wonderfully.

[Tribal music]

♪

- Hello, hoggy.

[Warthog snorting]

[Laughs]