02x28 - Gift of Gab

[bunniefuu]

This is me, eliza thornberry.

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin? He found us.

(Jabbering )

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves.

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

(Panting )

And between you and me

Something amazing happened...

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

But totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.



]

Can you believe it was two years ago today that we met?

It's been that long?

It feels like forever.

That was before I could talk to animals.

I remember that day.

You almost didn't live through it.

(Grunts )

(Chattering )

What's the matter?

What do you want?

I got a carrot.

(Chattering )

Darn.

Uh... Uh...

Nice snake...

(Hissing )

Please don't eat me.

(Screams )

Hey! Let me go!

Let me out of here!

Hey, what's the big idea?

Let me out!

I'm late for dinner!

Let me go! Let me out!

(Eliza screaming )

(Drums b*ating... )

Help! I'm snake food! Get me out!

(Eliza screaming )

(Snake retching )

Whoa...

(Grunts )

(Natives muttering... )

Help!

Hey... Help!

Help!

Whoo!

Come on, darwin, get real.

There was no fiery volcano.

Yes, there was. I was there.

Me, too, and that's not the way I remember it.

I bet you're going to give me

Your version now, aren't you?

Okay, it all started...

Hang on a second!

It all started about two years ago.

We were in western africa sh**ting our very first thornberry documentary.

Dad was driving along this long road when suddenly...

(Gasps )

Everyone have a look-see up that tree.

If I'm not mistaken

It's a rare white-throated bee-eater!

Oh...!

Somebody pinch me... Ouch!

Thanks, pumpkin.

And look, we've caught it

Actually eating a bee!

Nigel, dear, maybe you'd enjoy the sights a little more

If I were driving... And you weren't.

Smashing idea, marianne.

(Gasps )

Hello...

And welcome to nigel thornberry's animal... House.

And our fabulous first show

On the irrepressible aardvark...

(Gasps )

Hi there.

(Whimpers )

(Chatters )

(Chatters )

(Chatters )

(Chatters )

(Giggles )

Look what I found!

Fascinating...

They're not usually such social creatures.

(Chatters )

(Gasps )

Eww! Get away from me, you chimpangeek!

(Screeching... )

Debbie, he didn't do anything!

You don't treat a little animal like that.

It seems to work with you.

Eliza, wait!

Be careful!

(Panting... )

Hello? Chimp?

(Squealing... )

(Pained squealing... )

(Snorting and pained squealing )

Oh, you poor piggie!

(Snarls )

(Gasps )

I won't hurt you.

I've got to get you out of there.

(Snarls )

(Gasps, grunts )

Hey, I'm trying to help you!

(Snorting and grunting... )

(Grunting, trap creaking )

Looks like your leg's okay now.

(Gasps )

(Squeals )

(Snorting and grunting... )

No way!

(Laughing... )

I'm human again!

(Laughing )

After all these years!

No wonder the skirt's so tight.

Oh, thank you, little girl, thank you so much!

But I saved a warthog.

How did you become a person?

You broke the spell.

Ah, it's all coming back: the sound of my voice... The breeze in my hair...

Ooh, ow, little sharp things under my feet... Forgot about that.

Ooh, hey, hey, you got anything to eat? I am starved.

This is all I have.

(Gulping )

But I don't mind, uh... Sharing it.

(Burps loudly )

Nice burp.

What spell?

Um, you see...

(Snorting )

A very long time ago, I was a high shaman in the sarimba tribe.

We believed that animal and human spirits join together.

I kind of believe that too.

(Slurping, burping )

So, I wasn't what you'd call

The most animal-loving

Of the animal-loving tribe.

The truth is, I couldn't stand them.

That's terrible.

That's what the sarimba said.

Then I went and angered the really high shaman

When I ate his entire prized sheep, oh.

Anyway, he cast a spell on me

And turned me into a warthog

But thanks to you, I turned back into a man!

Because I saved your life?

Exactly. The spell could only be broken if a human really cared about me

But they figured who would like a gross, disgusting, smelly animal?

Oh, I would.

You were the first!

That's why I get to grant you a wish.

I get a wish? Really? Oh, wow...

Uh, what should I wish for?

(Chattering )

Hey!

(Screeches, whimpers )

Oh, I'm not going to hurt you.

Oh, don't you understand?

I know what I want.

I want to be able to talk to animals.

Well, that's a first.

Let's see, how does that one go...?

Talk to animals, talk to animals...

Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oobala boobaba rooba, roobala boobababooma

Give this one a shadooba!

Hmm, wrong one.

Uh, how about this:

Oobalooba baboooba, ooboolooba...

She can talk to animals!

Hey...!

(Animal calls echoing )

(Gasps, screeches )

Well, now it's time for me to go.

Hey, wait, what did you... How will i...

Where did you go?

That's my gerbil!

(Gulps ) no anymore.

Wow! I understood that!

This is for real!

Hey!

She talks! Run!

Something I said?

Hey, can anybody understand me?!

There's a bug in your hair... Can I have it?

Huh?

Wow, you said that, didn't you?

Oops, I didn't realize you spoke chimp.

Wait a minute, you're speaking chimp.

Yes, I am!

And I can't even speak french.

Finally, someone civilized to talk to!

Finally, someone uncivilized to talk to!

(Both laugh )

(Grunting )

(Panting ): this isn't as easy as it looks.

I'm not surprised... You call those toes? (Grunting... )

By the way... I'm eliza.

My name is... (Chattering )

But my friends call me... (Chatters briefly )

That's a little hard to pronounce.

Why don't I just call you... Darwin?

Ooh, I like that.

It's after lenny darwin...

My cousin who kind of looks like a monkey.

Monkey?

I still have to show you my favorite hiding places.

Then you can explain this music thing to me again.

We have so much to talk about.

You know, maybe you could stay with us.

Really? Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

But your parents might not want me to.

Sure, they will-- I'll talk them into it.

Oh, that would be wonderful.

As long as they don't make me eat bananas.

Hey, do you want to dress like us, too?

Maybe you'd enjoy the sights a little more, dear...

Smashing idea, marianne.

I can't wait to tell them.

Oh, eliza, for our first day's sh**t

Did I ever get some great footage.

If you're into aardvarks.

(Gasps )

Oh, wait, I am going to barf.

Is that revolting hairball wearing my lucky top?

(Chattering and yelling... )

Give it back to me!

(Grunting )

Eww, keep it, okay? Keep it.

Mom, dad, guess what?

(Eliza grunting... )

Eliza, is this a joke, dear?

Why are you croaking like a frog?

(Grunting... )

I told you she was a loon.

(Grunting and chattering )

Oh, no, darwin, is this really happening?

The shaman's spell, he got it wrong.

Now i... I can't talk to people!

(Eliza hooting )

Come on, darwin, we've got to find that shaman!

Be back by nightfall, honey.

Remember we're leaving for kenya.

He's not here.

Oh, he's probably gone forever.

Darwin, what am I going to do?

I can't talk to my family anymore.

What if I'm like this for the rest of my life?

Don't worry, eliza, you can still talk to me.

(Crying ): I wanted to talk to animals so badly.

(Crying )

Oh...

(Sniffling )

Don't cry.

Oh, you'll get me started

And my nose will get all runny

And my fur will get all natty and...

(Both crying... )

Darwin, it's the shaman guy!

Come back!

Come back, I need to talk to you!

We've got to find him!

He's got to change the spell!

I'm going to find us

A shortcut through the jungle.

(Grunting )

Where are we, eliza?

I don't know.

I wish there was someone I could ask.

But even if there was

I'd probably bark at them.

But I can talk to animals!

They'll help us!

(Animals chattering )

Or eat us!

No, they're going to love me.

Trust me, you'll see.

(Chattering and laughing )

Okay, I'll ask you one more time--

Could you please tell us how to get to the road?

(Laughing ): stop it...

I never met a lower primate I liked.

(Gasps )

Uh, hello... Nice vulture.

Are you all right?

Uh, yeah, we're fine, thanks.

Yeah, that's too bad.

It's bad we're fine?

Yeah, you're way too fresh for me to eat.

If only you were rotting a little.

That is so sickening...

(Chuckles )

In a good way.

Look, I'm sorry to bother you

But we got chased up this tree and we've got to find...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, look over there!

(Both scream... )

(Thud )

What about now?

Are you starting to fester yet?

No, and you didn't need to do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, find a scavenger that cares...

So I'm seeing that all animals aren't so friendly.

Depends on who you talk to.

Some of us are charming.

Are you some kind of antelope?

We're cousins-- I'm a hartebeest.

Are you some kind of talking girl?

Yup, I'm an eliza thornberry.

Do you happen to know what a road is?

Sure, it's where those big lights rush at you

And for some reason you just stand there and... Don't... Move.

Do you think, like, if you don't have any plans, you could take us there?

I'm free most of the day.

Hop on.

Now, I knowwhat a road is.

I just don't know where it is.

So we're all lost.

(Bird squawks )

But I may have a way to find our way.

Good-bye, eliza!

Thanks a lot, you guys!

Have a great time migrating to cairo!

Look, darwin, that's it!

Come on, let's go!

Thanks for giving us a ride.

Bye!

Let's go!

Five naira.

Enjoy the mud.

(Mud bubbling... )

(Burp echoing )

(Burp echoing )

I'd know that burp anywhere!

(Gulping and slurping )

Well, look who it is.

You can understand me!

Why did you disappear?

I came back to my old tribal hot springs.

Ha, nothing like a good mud wallow.

That's one thing the warthogs got right.

Look, mister, you goofed.

I can't talk to people anymore.

And that's a problem?

Well, I need to talk to my family.

I can make you talk to animals or people, but not both.

I've never done anything that hard.

So you got to make a decision.

Who do you want to talk to? People or animals?

This really isn't fair.

I mean, I made a new friend.

His name is darwin.

We talk about everything.

And he really likes me.

But... I guess I can't go through life without talking to people.

Okay, back to the way you were. Here we go!

Wait, wait!

I just need a minute.

Darwin... Darwin?

Over here, eliza!

Come on in, the mud's fine!

Darwin, I have to tell you something.

This is probably been the best day of my entire life.

I wish it could go on forever...

But it looks like it can't.

See, I need to talk to my mom and my dad and my sister... Well, not so much to her.

But you and me, darwin...

We're not going to be able to understand each other anymore.

But, eliza, we have to talk to each other.

There's nothing I can do.

You ready, kid?

(Clears throat )

Bareeple meeple...

She can talk to people... Leeple.

Whoa... !

Oh...

What's going on?

What is he doing, what... (Chattering )

Sorry, darwin.

Good-bye, mister.

(Chattering )

(Screeching )

(Screeching louder )

Oh, no, darwin!

(Screeching... )

(Panting... )

I'm coming to get you! Hang on!

Try to reach me!

(Gasps )

(Screaming )

(Branch cracking )

Grab on, eliza!

(Grunting... )

(All panting )

Thank you.

Thank you, you saved us.

Well, I couldn't just let you...

Aw, you really like that little chimp, don't you?

Yeah, I do.

Come on, darwin, let's go home.

(Darwin chattering )

Sorry, darwin.

Wait, wait, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I shouldn't be doing this, but... Ah, what the heck?

You shouldn't do what?

There's a spell I heard about.

Not an easy one, mind you

But if you're willing to give it a try, I am.

Will I be able to talk to darwin and people, too?

Yes, but if I get it wrong, you might grow an extra head.

Let's give it a try.

Okay, but I just know I'm going to sprain something.

(Joints cr*ck )

(Clears throat )

Give her the deluxe spell!

Watch it!

We almost went over again.

I'm sorry, I was just so excited.

(Gasps ) we're talking.

Yay! Eliza and darwin are back

The good old team from a few minutes ago.

(Both laughing )

I can talk to everything now!

(Both laughing )

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm starting to cake up.

(Slurping and snorting )

I don't know how to thank you.

You've changed my life forever.

Just remember one thing--

You must never tell a soul about these powers.

If you do, the gift will disappear.

I understand.

Mom, dad, guess what?!

(Gasps )

I have a new friend.

I can keep him, right?

Right?

Oh...

Mm-hmm.

(Chuckles )

And so far, things have worked out okay.

(Branch cracks ) whoa...!

(Sighs )

I think so, too.

Vulture: are you starting to fester yet?