03x19 - April Fool's Day

[bunniefuu]

- This is me, eliza thornberry,

Part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is donnie-- we found him.

And darwin-- he found us.

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves,

'Cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show,

And my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

And between you and me, something amazing happened,

And now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool, but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

[Darwin yelling]

[Upbeat instrumental music]

♪

- Eliza, rise and shine.

Mr. Sandman's come and gone.

- What's going on?

- April fool's! [Laughing]

- Yahoo!

- Ow!

Oh.

- I've got a few tricks planned for you too, mom.

- I'd expect nothing less from my partner in pranks.

It's our special day to spend together.

- Darwin, get up! It's april fool's day.

- This day may be special to you and your mother,

But it's dangerous to me. [Whimpering]

- Don't be silly. [Chuckling]

[All grunting]

- Why don't you have some cereal, deb?

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

- Ugh. Quit it, or I'll eat you for breakfast.

- Oh, yes, children.

Oh, do desist.

And listen to this fascinating legend.

Both: what legend?

- Your mother found this article

About sightings of a prehistoric flying dinosaur,

Right here in the okavango delta.

Astounding.

- It's a pterodactyl.

Legend has it that it takes flight during a full moon.

- Tonight's a full moon.

- Oh, man.

Wouldn't it be cool if we saw it?

- Oh, you don't really believe that legend?

- Not really.

- I mean, pterodactyls are extinct.

[Marianne grunting] - well, yes.

And the research is totally anecdotal.

Still, wouldn't it be marvelous?

- [Grunting]

Nigel, could you give me a hand?

This backpack's heavier than I thought.

- Well, you're certainly prepared

To pursue the rare pangolin.

So we'll meet you at dusk in the delta.

- I just hope I can find one and film it by then.

Whew. There we go.

- Hey, mom.

You look a little thirsty.

Here.

- Oh, I thought I filled this thing.

Oh!

- April fool! [Both laughing]

- Maple syrup.

It's my favorite.

Good one, eliza.

Whoa!

- I've never really understood a holiday whose

Sole purpose is to embarrass someone.

- Oh, nigel. It's all in fun.

In a way, it even shows you care.

- Announcement to all siblings and cousins.

I don't want anyone caring about me.

- Don't worry about ty.

He couldn't pull a good prank if his life depended on it.

- Oh, yeah?

I could pull a better one than you.

- Really?

Oh, look, your shoe's untied.

[Laughing]

You are so easy.

- Okay, tyler and eliza.

Let's go.

- Mom, you invited him?

This is our day.

- I know, honey.

But tyler is only going to be with us one more week.

And who can teach him the ins and outs

Of april fool's day better than you?

- He does have a lot to learn.

- That's the spirit.

Now, nigel.

Make sure debbie does her school assignment.

- Hey, if you want to film a panga-whats-it,

You'd better get going.

Have fun with your embarrassing little jokes.

Bye-bye. - Meet you tonight.

Beware of lions, leopards, and cheetah.

And remember, if caught by quicksand,

Just think, "be prepared."

That's "p" "r" "e"--

Oh, rotten little creature.

- Okay, we're about here.

- Eliza, I can't believe you're not worried

About spending april fool's day in the wild with your cousin.

- Don't worry. He's a total amateur.

- Aunt marianne, a snake!

April fool!

- Good one, ty.

- Snake.

- Ah!

- Lame one, cous.

- What do you say we tackle your schoolwork?

It says you're to complete

The physical education requirement.

Smashing.

I was quite the sportsman in my day.

- Ugh.

Ah, there.

That's phys-ed for my day.

- Well, I'm afraid a bit more is required.

Running, rope-climbing, hurdle-jumping.

- Uh, dad, how about you say I already did all that?

I mean, who'd know?

- Oh, you silly girl.

You'd know and I'd know.

And we'd both know that that would be wrong.

You're not seriously suggesting--

- No, no, no.

No!

Uh, april fool.

Gotcha.

- Oh, yes.

Old little holiday.

Well, I suppose that shows you care.

Thank you.

Now, then. What do you say we get cracking?

- I say--as soon as I find the right exercise outfit.

- Remember what your father said.

Watch for lions, leopards, cheetah, and quicksand.

Ooh, hmm. This is interesting.

It's some kind of tooth.

- From what? - Let's see.

- Well, I've never seen anything like it.

It looks almost prehistoric.

- You mean, like, it's from a pterodactyl?

- If you believe the legend.

- Ready. Okay.

Listen, dad.

- Call me coach thornberry.

It does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it.

- Dad, uh, coach.

Um, I'm not what you'd call athletically inclined.

- You'll do fine.

Now then. Our first event: the rope climb.

- [Groans]

- First rate, donnie!

Now, debbie, hop to.

- Let's hop to the second event.

- Oh, come now.

Up you go.

- Ugh.

[Grunting]

- Excellent progress.

Keep it up.

- Dang it.

Cut it out, jungle boy.

[Grunting]

- Good show, debbie.

A-plus.

- Hey!

Hey, how do I get down from here?

- So what's this pangolin look like, aunt marianne?

- Kind of like a cross between

An armadillo and an anteater.

- Aah!

- Oops.

You two go ahead.

Darwin and I'll catch up in a minute.

They're gone. Yes!

- Could you at least have missed my toe?

- Sorry, dar.

Now we can set the trick I have been planning

For my mom for a year!

I call it, "mr. Sandman."

First, we run the string--

- Can't we all just have a nice lunch?

- If tyler thinks he can compete with me,

He's a real april fool.

- As I was saying, lunch followed by a little nap.

Then, maybe, an afternoon snack,

And we get this day over safely till we're all

Snuggled comfy cozy in the convy.

- Oh, we can do all that, right after tyler sees I'm best.

Mom really likes contraptions,

So she's going to love this.

I'll just yawn and say,

"Mom, I think mr. Sandman's about to strike."

Now go get my mom.

- How am I supposed to do that?

- Oh, you know, chitter.

Jump up and down. Pull her arm.

Just get her here.

Oh, this is going to be great.

- What's going to be great?

- Tyler, go away.

- Why? You got a little stunt planned?

- Yes. I mean, no.

I mean-- I am going to count to three,

And if you're not gone, I'm going to tell mom you used her

Camera strap as a slingshot.

One...

- Okay, okay, chill.

Who wants to see your stupid trick anyway?

- Two... I mean it, tyler.

You'd better be gone.

Three.

- Eliza! Help!

- Tyler?

Oh, no. Quicksand!

Tyler!

- Oh, no. He's fallen in!

He'll drown!

Hang in there, ty.

Just hold your breath.

I'll go get mom.

Uh-oh.

Ugh!

- Excellent prank.

Almost as good as mine.

April fool!

Ha-ha.

- Do you know how dangerous quicksand is?

If my mom found out what you did--

- Ah, you're just jealous 'cause it was

The greatest trick in the universe.

- Tyler tucker.

- Now you're going to get it.

- This is the best prank I have ever seen.

Congratulations, tyler.

- What?

Wait a minute.

- Uh, thanks, aunt marianne. Pretty cool, huh?

- But he didn't-- I was the one who--

- Eliza, looks like we've got some real competition.

He fooled me, and you.

We need to find that pangolin,

So let's hold off on the tricks for a while, okay?

Truce?

- Truce.

- Truce.

There's no truce.

This is w*r.

- No problem, cous.

Bring it on.

- So deborah, champion rope climber,

What event would you like to try next?

- None, coach.

I'm done for the day.

- Now, now.

Arm curls?

Pushups?

- Hey, that's mine, you little savage.

- Oh, the -yard dash.

Jolly good.

- Donnie, you give me that-- ugh!

- . Seconds. A terrific time, debbie.

On to the next event.

- Ugh.

This whole physical fitness thing wouldn't be so bad if

It wasn't so...physical.

- Will you hurry up?

We'll miss lunch.

- I need a trick to play on tyler.

- You said your mom put all tricks on hold.

Have I told you lately how much I like your mother?

- Mom doesn't have to know.

You'll see, simple but effective.

Hmm, soda's nice and cold.

Here, mom.

Dar.

Ty.

- Thanks.

- Kids, did you hear that?

- I didn't hear anything.

- A weird cawing sound

And a kind of fluttering in those bushes.

I'd better check it out.

Don't want any pterodactyls surprising us.

- Whoa!

Look at that deer.

- There aren't deer in the okavango.

That's a water antelope.

Aah! Tsetse fly!

- April fool.

Fake fly.

Pretty cool, huh?

- Not here, it isn't.

Tsetse flies are hideous and poisonous and--

- Oh, would you chill out.

- You can't fool around with stuff

Like flies and quicksand in africa, tyler.

It's dangerous.

- Switched cans.

April fool.

- I've created a monster.

The worst part is, he's coming up

With better april fool's jokes than I am.

[Whistle blows] [both yelling]

Dad. Coach.

Um, I've been trying to tell you.

The whole fitness thing-- not really my strong point.

- Coaching you, debbie, takes me back to my days

As coach of the cricket team.

Oh, what a season that was.

- Aah!

- A standing broad jump.

Oh, debbie, I like your initiative.

Now, all aboard the convy.

Hop to.

We'll rendezvous with the rest,

Then find a good spot to run the hurdles.

- Hurdles?

- Oh, this is it!

This is the place.

- Oh, cool. I can't wait to see a pangolin.

- Huh?

Oh, right.

The pangolin.

Uh, okay, I need to go set up for filming,

And I could use a hand.

Why don't I take darwin with me, and you two stay right here.

Don't move.

- Grr. - Ugh.

- You stay here.

I'll stay there.

- No problem.

Gives me time to work on my next little scheme.

- Awesome.

- What is?

- Oh, nothing. Just a bushman painting.

- Just?

Aw, cool.

Why are you hiding it?

- 'Cause you'll think that it leads to some secret cave,

But it doesn't.

- Oh, don't try and fool me.

That's exactly what it's about.

Hmm, looks like it's pointing over there.

- That was almost too easy.

- Help!

- Oh, brother.

If he thinks I'm going to fall for that again...

- Eliza!

I'm stuck!

- Haven't we seen this trick before?

- I'm not kidding this time.

- Oh, nice performance, ty.

- Eliza, no, come on.

I am really stuck.

This is quicksand!

- It's just a swamp.

You can't fool me.

It really is quicksand!

- That's what I've been trying to tell you.

What do we do?

- Don't panic. I'll figure this out.

- Eliza, figure it out quick.

We've got more trouble than the quicksand.

- [Growling]

[Both screaming]

- Quicksand or a lion, those are our choices?

Oh, we're goners.

- Stay calm.

[Growls]

- That's your plan?

Roaring back?

Great, my cousin's lost her mind.

Here's my plan.

Aunt marianne, help!

We're trapped!

- Help! Mom! Help! - Somebody! Help!

Aunt marianne, help!

- Mom, help!

- Do you hear something, debbie?

- Yeah, the voice in my head saying,

"Jumping hurdles is a bad idea."

- It's a wonderful idea.

The hippos have flattened clumps of papyrus reed,

As is their hippo way.

You can use them as hurdles.

Allow me to demonstrate.

You want to pass your physical education course,

Don't you?

- Coach-dad.

Look, I'm sorry, but there's no way

I'm going to pass this course.

I'm a--i'm a klutz, okay?

There. I said it.

- Hiyah! - Oh, poppycock, deborah.

Look at all you've accomplished today.

- That's only because of donnie

And your amazing coaching, of course.

But hurdles? No way.

I trip every time,

Which always makes all the other kids laugh.

- Poppet, I'll cue you at each precise moment

You're to jump a hurdle.

And I promise you, no one is going to laugh.

[Growling]

- [Grunting]

- Wait, I just remembered what my dad said about quicksand.

Be "prepared."

"Prepared" is an acronym.

The "p" stands for "patience" and the "r" stands for "rest."

- [Growls]

- Yeah, well, the lion looks like he's "patiently resting"

Until we get out and he can eat us.

- Well, he can't eat us if we're at the bottom of this quicksand,

Which is what's going to happen if you keep moving.

I remember.

The "e" is for "expand your lungs."

Just breathe. It'll keep you floating.

"P," "r," "e," "p."

Oh, that "p" is for "peruse your surroundings."

Look around. See if there are any vines.

- There are no vines.

Back to my plan.

Help!

Aunt marianne, somebody, help!

- La, la-la-la. I just have to set up a few things here.

- Oh, it's getting dark.

This is the perfect place to see the full moon.

Just silly. - Ah!

- Oh! What do you know, a pangolin.

You're a cute little guy.

Did you just wake up for your night wanderings, huh?

Nice touch, making the kids think that's why we're here--

To film a pangolin.

But oh--ah, look at me, talking to you

Like you understood me.

Talk about april fool.

[Growling]

- Agh.

We're going down.

- "Abandon," that's the "a" in "prepared."

Abandon your backpack. It's weighing you down.

"P," "r," "e," "p," "a," "r"-wait!

Wait, have you got a rope in there?

- I think so.

- "Rope" is the "r."

We'll throw it over the branch and use it like a pulley.

I'll "pull" you out, then when you get on the branch,

You pull me out.

"E," "escape."

We'll be in the tree and can wait the lion out.

Ah, that's what "prepared" stands for.

- Well, what does the "d" stand for?

Ugh!

- "Doomed"!

- Look!

- [Cawing]

- The pterodactyl!

I thought it was extinct!

- Yeah, well, we're going to be extinct if that thing gets us.

Oh, we're definitely doomed.

- [Growling] - [cawing]

There goes the lion!

- Look out!

- April fool!

- Mom?

- Oh, I've been working on this thing for weeks.

- Mom!

- Aunt marianne!

- [Gasping]

Quicksand!

Tyler, hang onto that rope.

Eliza, hang onto tyler.

[Grunting]

- This isn't an april fool's joke, is it?

Both: no!

- It's working!

- Darwin.

- Almost out, aunt marianne!

- Come on, kids!

Are you all right?

- Yeah, I think so.

- I'm okay.

I'm okay.

But I think we need to make a pact.

No more april fool's jokes.

- Deal.

- Oh!

[Strange noise]

- Oh, what was that?

[Strange noises]

- Mom, is this another prank?

- Not mine.

Tyler?

- No way.

[Strange noises]

- Aah!

- Wait a minute.

I'd know that scream anywhere.

Debbie, is that you?

- Mom? Is that you?

- Hello.

- Debbie, what were you doing?

- You sounded like a sick hippo.

[All laughing]

- Oh, april fool.

Yes, we got them good, didn't we, debbie?

- Huh?

- Debbie and I planned this little shenanigan

To make you think there was a monster in the delta.

- Yes, right.

April fool!

Gotcha.

- You sure did get us.

- That's very sweet of you, nigel.

Although I think I speak for all of us

When I say we're april fooled out.

- Well, that's good news.

Now what do you say we get you all back to camp?

- Uh, thanks for covering for me, "coach."

- My pleasure, champion hurdle jumper.

- Thanks for, you know, not freaking out back there.

And I'm sorry I took credit for your sand trick.

- Just do me a favor.

Tell my mom it was my trick.

- You got it.

- Good. No hard feelings?

- Oh!

- [Laughs] april fool!

- Ugh.

- I'm just glad today is over.

- I never thought I'd say it, but me too.

- [Yells]

- Have I told you lately how much I like your mother?