05x08 - Eliza Unplugged

[bunniefuu]

This is me, Eliza Thornberry,

part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is Donnie-- we found him.

And Darwin? He found us.

[jabbering]

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves

'cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

and my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

[panting]

And between you and me

something amazing happened...

and now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

This is me, Eliza Thornberry,

part of your average family.

I got a dad, a mom, and a sister.

There is Donnie-- we found him.

And Darwin? He found us.

[jabbering]

Oh, yeah, about our house-- it moves

'cause we travel all over the world.

You see, my dad hosts this nature show

and my mom sh**t it.

Okay, so we're not that average.

[panting]

And between you and me

something amazing happened...

and now I can talk to animals.

It's really cool

but totally secret.

And you know what?

Life's never been the same.

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION



Ooh... ooh...

Oh, dear.

How does this introduction sound, Marianne?

"Although beautiful,

"the many islands in the Misty Fjords National Monument

"create fierce riptides,

making navigation particularly treacherous."

Oh, absolutely accurate.

Especially the part about treacherous navigation.

Oh, Nigel.

Give me... oh, no!

Just... try to hang on, dearest.

Whoa!

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Oh, Nigel.

Those riptides are incredible.

Mmm... oh.[rocks bashing bumper]

I know, dearest.

The commvee may have stopped spinning, but I haven't.

[moaning]

Wait, I have another call.

Shane G. in the house.

No, I didn't get the fax.

[Donnie jabbering]

Wait, I think I got it.

The float plane meets me here tomorrow, takes me to Anchorage,

where I do the press thing,

the impromptu concert?

Then on to LA, straight to the studio?

Man, when do I get to breathe?

Hold on.

Okay, I'm back.

Yeah, yeah, of course the new tunes

are ready for the session.

I wish he didn't have to leave so soon.

And don't forget the jellybeans in my dressing room!

Tangerine and coconut only.

Hold on!

Shane G. in the house!

Well, you still have me!

Isn't this spot exquisite, Marianne?

Mm-hmm.

And it's a perfect place for Shane to enjoy

the last of his Alaska trip.

Uh-huh... Uh-huh...

You know, as soon as he gets off the phone.

Okay, we all know I don't make it a habit

to give out sisterly advice,

so listen up and listen good.

Shane leaves tomorrow, so it's now or never.

Now or never what?

Hello!

You have to tell him how you feel!

Look, I know he's leaving tomorrow.

I'm just... feeling kind of...

Totally freaked out?

No!

Ah-- I knew it!

But if you want,

I can talk to him first.

You know, since I'm more experienced

with these things.

No, I want to do it.

Well, when?

I mean, with stuff like this,

it's all about creating the experience

at just the right moment.

Timing is everything.

I'll tell him where and when

I decide to tell him, okay?

At the rate you're going,

he'll be an old, fat guy in Vegas wearing a jumpsuit.

[sighs]: And you've got to keep this a secret, okay?

Yeah, or I'll turn into a purple-butted baboon, I know.

Wrong secret.

MARIANNE: Ooh, what baboon?

What secret?

Um... uh, really...

Oh, it's nothing.

Just, you know... it's sister stuff.

Yeah, you wouldn't understand.

Okay, well, uh...

See you, Deb.

Uh-huh, right.

Well, uh, I just wanted to remind you,

we're all invited to a Tlingit potlatch ceremony

tomorrow after filming.

We're the guests of honor.

It'll be a fun way to end our Alaskan adventure.

I thought so, anyway.

NIGEL: The sockeye battles against all odds

to lay her eggs and insure a new generation before expiring.

[Marianne crying softly]

Oh, I thought expiring might be too strong a word.

Marianne.

What's wrong, lovely?

It's just that...

the poor mother salmon

never gets to be with her children.

[sobbing]: I'm sorry.

Yes, well... um....

[Marianne sobbing]

NIGEL: Oh... it's... it's all right, poppet.

ELIZA: Isn't it awesome?

What?!

All the way down there?

That's where you're going to tell him?

Well, yeah, I thought...

Yes, that's where I'm going to tell him.

Shouldn't I?

Why not just stand up here

and tell him how you feel?

Because no one can interrupt us down there, Dar.

No mom, no Debbie, no Tlingit-- it's totally private.

Not to mention steep.

SHANE [strumming guitar]: ♪ This is how I feel

[tentatively]: ♪ Sharing thoughts and sharing fun ♪

♪ This is what our friendship's become... ♪

Ah! This is horrible!

No one's ever going to listen to this!

I'll never be ready.

[sighs deeply]

Hey, Shane, you want to take a walk?

No, I got to...

I found this cool white sand beach

that's surrounded by cliffs and...

Why is everyone always asking me for something?

Why can't people leave me alone?

I just thought you might want to take a walk.

Look, I'm not some nature boy, okay?

I'm Shane G.-- I don't have time for stupid hikes.

That's your real world, not mine!

Shane.

There's my girl.

Oh, guess what.

I made pancakes,

and I thought just you and me

for a mother-daughter breakfast.

What do you say?

I can't.

But they're your favorite.

Uh, oh...

[gobbling noisily]

[panting]

[Eliza sniffling]

I gather you didn't like

Shane's response to your beach suggestion.

Not only did he say no, but he totally turned on me.

I mean, I... I thought we were at least friends,

but... maybe we're not even that anymore.

[eagle cries]

Is there trouble in my kingdom?

Easy, little birdie.

She's just crying.

See...

a good friend of mine

isn't acting like one, and I don't know what to do.

Well, first of all, I am the king of these lands,

not a little birdie.

Why, everyone is in awe of me.

Haven't you seen how they carve my face on their trees?

You mean totem poles?

Poles, trees, whatever.

The point is, do you want my royal advice or not?

I guess.

Well, since you're the king and all.

I don't cry over anyone.

I let them know exactly how I feel.

DARWIN: Brief, but to the point!

You know, he's right.

Shane had no right to talk to me that way,

and he needs to hear it.

Eliza, you're not going to yell at him, are you?

Maybe there's a reason--

adifferentreason he's angry.

Eliza!

Oh, and you never wait for me, either.

[snarling]

Yes, it may seem cold-hearted

for the mother bear to run her three-year-old cub off,

but it's imperative in order to start the next generation of...

[Marianne crying]

Poor baby!

I would never do anything like that

to one of my cubs-- ever!

[sobbing]

Of course not, my love.

We're humans, not bears.

Now, look at your Nigel-poo and tell me the truth.

Something is going on and you need to share it with me.

Hmm?

Well...

Eliza doesn't want to talk about stuff with me anymore.

She'd rather share it with Debbie.

But that's a good thing, isn't it?

The grueling sister wars may finally be over.

They're growing closer.

[wailing]: While I grow farther away!

There, there.

[Marianne sobbing]

[panting]

Where's Shane?

Haven't seen him.

Do you think he'd autograph

my hip-huggers if I asked?

ELIZA:Shane!

Shane G.!

I need to talk to you now!

[Donnie jabbering]

I don't care about another Shane G. fax.

You give it to him.

'Liza!

[speaking gibberish]

It'sfromShane.

He's run away!

You must have said how you felt wrong,

or said it

at the wrong time, or both.

Ugh, I knew I should have handled this.

I didn't say anything

and his plane is coming

in a few hours.

Oh, great.

Now I'll never get my autograph.

So come on, we got to find him.

Hello! I've got to figure out

what to wear at this potlatch thingy.

Ugh!

Dar, Dar, Shane is gone.

Ah, not a moment too soon.

I... I mean... really?

What happened?

He ran away.

I got back to camp

and he was already gone.

He left this.

"I'm sorry, I just have to be by myself now.

"Please don't look for me.

Shane."

Where could he be?

Well, you heard the young man.

He doesn't want to be found.

I think we should respect his wishes.

Dar, I've got to go find him.

Well, then I'm going with you.

We need quality time together, too, you know.

Isn't that what you're always saying?

I need to do this alone.

MAN: The potlatch is a tradition used to mark a milestone in a family:

a birth, a marriage,

or in this case,

my daughter's graduation from medical school.

The host gives gifts to all the guests to honor them.

Gifts... guests... yes.

Is... is everything all right?

Oh, well, then.

Here's the porridge, plain and pasty.

I'm beside myself trying to cheer up my wife,

who's feeling her daughters...

Oh, well, actually, one in particular,

are growing up and away from her.

I was just wondering.

Wouldn't it be super if there was a gift

that could help her through this?

Say no more.

I think I might have

just the thing.

Shane!

Shane, where are you?!

[eagle cries]

Hey, over here!

Please!

[eagle squawks]

What now?

Your supposed friend again?

You haven't seen him, have you?

A... a human boy, blonde hair.

The cliff, over there.

Thank you.

[geese honking]

DEBBIE: Tuh-lingit...

Tlingit.

You look nice.

So where's Eliza?

And more importantly, where's Shane?

The plane will be here in an hour or so.

[chuckles]

I mean...

[giggles]

Can you imagine the foundation's reaction

if after a month of shepherding Shane through the wilderness,

we had to say, "Oops, we don't know where he is?"

[laughing]

[feigns laughter]

Oh, that would be something, huh?

[laughs]

So, where are they?

Well... uh, um, they... they...

All right.

They wanted it to be a surprise.

They're going to be part of the ceremony.

That is so wonderful.

Yes, and we better hurry to get the best seats.

WOMAN: Come on in, please, everybody, come on in.

So glad to have everybody tonight.

Hey, um... is everything, like, okay?

It's just, I had to get out of there to think.

I mean, in a few hours, I'm going to be in a recording studio,

but I'm not the same Shane G. who stepped off the plane,

and neither is my music.

You look the same.

But I'm not.

See, hanging out with you and your family has been great.

I could be myself.

It's been totally normal.

That's us-- totally normal.

Wow, that sure came in fast... and cold.

Anyway, the thing is, being around you

has made me look at things differently

and like I said, now my music is different, too,

and I'm scared people are going to hate it.

What does it matter what other people think?

As long as you like it, right?

Look, it's different for me.

You don't have to perform new songs

in front of thousands of people.

Let's face it, Eliza,

we're totally different people.

Not so much, because I want to say something,

and even though it's only in front of one person,

it's going to take guts.

The thing of it is, my life has been anything but normal

since you got here because...

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, no.

We got to get out before we got to swim out.

Here, climb up first.

[grunting and panting]

Eliza!

How are we going to get out of here?

I don't know.

[breathing hard]

If we can get the rope around the tree,

at least we can pull ourselves up and be safe from the water.

[grunting]

ELIZA: Let's go!

[both grunting]

Now what?

Thank you for honoring my family by being here,

and for all your hard work with wildlife awareness.

I have a special gift I'd like to give you.

You are the roots of your family,

and you give your children room to reach the sky.

Always remember that.

[chuckling]

It's so beautiful.

And if that doesn't work, Marianne,

you can always use these.

Earplugs?

For when she starts slamming doors and blasting rock music.

[giggling]

Thank you so much.

[grunts]

[squealing]

Oh, Darwin.

[stick cracks]

[screams]

[both grunting]

Uh-oh.

BOTH: Debbie, help us!

[sighs]

This is getting so old.

ELIZA: We're tossing the rope up.

Tie it to something so we can climb up.

[screams]

[both screaming]

Throw the rope.

Ah... ah...

[screams]

[grunts]

[both grunt]

[exclaiming]

[panting]

Right.

There.

Okay.

Tug on it!

[grunts]

It feels tight.

So start climbing.

Gee, do I have to do everything?

[grunting]

[squealing]

[yells]

The rope.

[grunts]

[both scream]

[grunts]

[both screaming]

[groans]

Don't look down.

Keep your eyes on me.

I need to tell you something.

Right now?

[squealing]

[grunting]

DEBBIE: Help me!

If we don't make it...

Don't say that.

But if we don't,

I just want you to know

that I really, really like you--

likelike you.

Glad you had the guts to say it,

because Ilike like you, too

and we're going to make it.

DEBBIE: Hey, can we cut the chit-chat?

You go first.

[grunting]

Move your butts up here!

SHANE: You're almost there.

Come on.

[both groaning]

[gasping]

Go, go, go.

[grunting]

[all panting and exclaiming]

We better get back to the potlatch.

Mom was already doing her suspicious eyebrow thing.

So, did you hear?

How could I not?

Way to go!

[both laughing]

[percussive music playing]

[music ends]

[applause]

DONNIE: [jabbering]

I want to thank everyone, especially the Thornberrys,

for helping me to celebrate my graduation.

And we can't stop celebrating just yet.

It would be very great if one of our special guests

would sing a song for us.

Shane, would you?

No, way.

Oh, come on.

Afraid you don't have the guts?

This is just something I've been working on lately.

Hope you like it.

♪ I wasn't searching for a change ♪

♪ While hanging out with you

♪ Because in my head I told myself I knew just what to do ♪

♪ But now I'm looking in the mirror and asking if it's real ♪

♪ Your spirit got a hold on me and this is how I feel ♪

♪ Oh, sharing fears and sharing hearts ♪

♪ This is where the friendship starts ♪

♪ Me and you, and you and me

♪ Makes me more than I can be.

♪ ♪

[song ends]

SHANE: Well, guess this is it, huh?

I'm usually good with words, but...

Anyway, you've all been great.

I promise to e-mail you,

and if you ever want concert tickets, just say the word.

[Marianne and Nigel chuckling]

I know it seems like a boring gift from some celebrity.

No, it's wonderful.

Absolutely.

I guess it's just my way of saying...

please don't forget me.

Shane, that will never happen.

We've grown quite fond of you.

Take care of yourself, lad.

I know you wanted an autograph, but I think this is better.

It's the secret password to my Web site.

[flustering]

[screams and laughs]

Thanks.

I'll use it wisely.

Dar, I want you to have these.

Very tight.

And my number one fan...

So you're always stylin'.

It's my secret spare.

[babbling]

[yelping]

Easy, fella.

[Eliza and Shane laugh]

[all laugh]

[splash]

[all laughing]

[clears throat]

[plane motor humming]

It's digital, so you'll have no excuse

for not e-mailing me pictures

of all the cool stuff you're doing.

Shane!

Wow, this is great.

It's the least I could do

for the girl who's been my... musical inspiration.

Thanks.

Oh, oh, I... um... I have something for you, too.

It's sea glass from the beach.

Awesome.

[gull calling]

So...

So...

I just wanted to say, you know...

thank you for making me, well... brave and all.

I guess...

well, good-bye.

Bye.

[plane engine starts]

I'm never going to forget any of this, Eliza Thornberry.

[plane door closes]

DEBBIE: Tuh-lingit.

Tlingit.