03x05 - The Trouble With Frittles

[bunniefuu]

- Charlotte! - Ahh!

- Come with me to the janitor's closet.

- Why do I need to come w--ahhh!

- Okay...since now,

I'm in on Captain Man and Kid Danger's secret,

I was thinkin' that when we're at school,

and we need to talk about work

we should talk in code.

- Jasper, why should w--

- Listennnn...

When I wanna talk about Captain Man,

I'm gonna say, "Kah-poo Mah-noo."

- Isn't that an island in Hawaii?

- No.

Now when I wanna talk about Kid Danger,

I'll say, "K'doo D'goo."

- What's wrong with you?

- And when I wanna say Man Cave,

I'll say, "V'kay- kay M'nay- nay."

- So...if I say,

"Hey! We gotta go meet Kah-poo Mah-noo

and K'doo D'goo in the V'kay-kay M'nay-nay,"

what does that mean?

- Wait! Shalla Tay-Tay...

- Attention! Everyone!

Guess who's here!

I SAID GUESS!!!

[ all talking at once ]

- Wrong!

Here today, with a surprise visit

to Swellview Junior High,

we have two fellas from the Frittle corporation!

[ cheers ]

- Soooo...Say hello to Ragin' Red Rhubarb

and Bodacious Blue Bacon!

- Oh yeah! - Whoo!

[ cheering ]

- Whoo, who want's some?

- Hey, what's going on here--

- Okay, alright...

who sh*t me in the face

with this Frittle can?!?

- Stop whining!

- Hey Miss Shapen, what's goin' on?

- Ooh, everyone--

turn on the Swellview News!

- Now come on!

Let's go hit the teachers' lounge.

- Yeah! Teacher's Lounge!

- Trent? - Thanks Mary.

Ragin' Red Rhubarb

or Bodacious Blue Bacon.

Which will win the contest

and become Frittle's official new flavor?

To explain, let's go live

to the Frittle Factory.

- Hi!

Oh, keep going?

We're giving out free samples of the two new flavors

all over Swellview.

And next Tuesday, people can go online

to Frittles.com

and vote for the flavor you think should win.

[ school bell rings ]

- Mmmm...Oh man,

this Bodacious Blue Bacon is amazing.

- Mm...yeah, but...

there's somethin' awesome about the Ragin' Red Rhubarb.

- Char, what are you gonna vote for?

- Neither.

I don't have time to vote for some dumb corn chip.

- What?!? - Charlotte!

- Yo! People d*ed for your right to vote...

online.

- Mmmm...

I'm definitely voting

for the Ragin' Red Rhubarb.

- Ah. All right.

- You too?

- Nah, nah...

I think I'm gonna go with the, uh...

Bodacious Blue Bacon.

It's pretty good.

- What?

- Nothing.

- Jasper-- - I don't wanna talk about it.

- Oh c'mon,

you're mad at me?

Just 'cuz I support a different flavor than you?

- I'm not mad at you.

I'm disappointed.

And a little mad.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

[ all talking at once ]

[ blows horn ]

[ group continues talking ]

[ blows horn louder ]

- This meeting of the Man Fans can now begin.

- Point of order.

- Owwww...

- Ooops...

That slipped outta my hand.

Now, the first topic up for discussion is...

- Hey!

The only important topic today here

is are we Man Fans gonna vote

for the Ragin' Red Rhubarb Frittle chips,

or the Bodacious Blue Bacon chips?

[ all talking at once ]

- You guys...

You guys!

We're the Man Fans, and that means

we should wait for Captain Man and Kid Danger

to pick red or blue,

and then that's how we all vote.

Am I right or what?

- Yeah, that's obvious...

- Or...

Or!

We could have a caucus.

[ gasps ]

- What'd you just say?!?

- See, a caucus

is where we all break off into groups,

and then we discuss the merits of red chips--

[ group boos ]

- You embarrass me.

- Why do you even hang out with him?

- His dad has a boat.

- Heyyyy!

- Hey Schwoz.

What's the scoop? Ha ha.

- I'm filling the snack machine

with oats for my sister.

- Ah man, Winnie's still here?

- She's only been visiting for two days.

- I know, but...

she looks like a horse and that freaks me out.

- Shhhhh!!!

She's right over there,

[ snorts ]

Schleeping!

- Hey, dude, uh...

if you like those...

blue Frittles.

you really gotta try these Ragin' Red Rhubarb ones

'cuz they're really good.

-Ehhhh...I think the blue chips are better.

What?

- On Tuesday, you're voting for the red chips.

- Okay but no I'm not.

- The red chips are better!

-What's it like to be so stupid?

- You shouldn't even be allowed to vote!

- What supposed to that means?!?

- You know exactly "what supposed to that means," Schwoz!

Weirdo, go back to your--

Ahhhhhhh!!!

[ whinnying ]

- Okay and...

here's your unitard for your dog.

- Ah, thank you so much.

I'm surprising him tonight.

- And please accept this free tube of Frittles.

And don't forget to go online and vote red on Tuesday.

- I sure will. Thank you.

- Uh...ha ha, dude...

no-no you can't be tellin' customers to "vote red."

- Why can't I tell customers to vote red?

- Uh...'cuz I'm Kid Danger

and I want the blue chips to win.

- Ohhhhhh-kay, let's go downstairs now.

- Oh, so...you're more important than me

just because "you're the superhero sidekick"

and I'm the guy who works behind the counter?

- Noooo.

There's other reasons.

- Uh, heyyy guys,

look at this big pencil.

Whoa, you're not practical.

- Ray wants the red chips to win

and he's Captain Man

and he said I can tell customers to vote red.

- Oh...did he?

- Mm-hmm. - Okay, you know what.

I'm gonna go talk to him right now,

'cuz that's unacceptable.

- You do that,

while I enjoy the semi-natural taste

of Ragin' Red Rhubarb.

- Ahhh! Argh!

- Oh, hey guys.

- Uh Ray...

- Yeah what goes on?

- Did you stuff Schwoz into a bucket of oats?

- Nooo...I don't recall seeing Schwoz today.

- Oh hey Schwoz,

where ya been?

- You know!

You schtuffed me in that bucket of oats!

- Oh yeah, good for me.

- Oh, no! Schwoz!!!

- Schwoz! My schpoon is too schmall.

- Well what I'm supposed to do about it?!

- Go get your sister a bigger schpoon!

- Ahhh, schvitz!

- Why'd you stuff Schwoz in a bucket of oats?

- 'Cuz! I'm the boss around here,

and he was talking about blue chips

and how great they are!

- They are great!

They're way better than those icky red chips!

- What are you talking about...

- Oh c'mon you guys, this is so dumb.

- Dumb?!? - How can you say that?

- 'Cuz! No matter which chip wins,

nothing's gonna change!

- I mean, remember when they came out with

nacho cheese flavored chips, and everyone thought

they were gonna change the world?

Well they didn't.

And then they gave us sour cream and onion...

nothin' changed.

Then cool ranch, then salsa verde...

every four years it's another "new, exciting flavor"

but look around, people...

nothing's changed.

Yeah, you ponder that.

[ alarm sounds ]

- Emergency. - It's a video call.

- Put it on screen.

- Wait! We're not in uniform.

I'm not gonna turn on our camera.

You think this is my first day on the job?

- No. - No.

- Help! Please!

Captain Man! Captain Man!

- This is Captain Man,

please state your emergency.

- Sure! I was climbing up Mount Swellview,

and there was an avalanche, and I fell!

There's a big boulder on my leg and I can't move!

- Ah! More rocks are falling!

Please help, Captain Man, Kid Danger,

please help!

- All right, don't worry, we'll be there in a...

Wait...what did you just put in your mouth?

- Oh, it's a blue frittle chip.

They're soooo good.

- Oh, so on Tuesday you're voting blue?

- Yeah, I guess.

- Oh, ok then, you can just save yourself!

- What!?

- So you're not help that guy

just 'cuz he's voting blue?

- Maybe.

- All right! Okay.

Then I'm not gonna help anyone who's voting red!

- [ high-pitched ] Oh-wha-fine

- Whoooaaa!

You guys can't start not helping people

just 'cuz they support a different chip than you!

- Really? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure that what I just did Charlotte!

- Ray Manchester!

- Ooooo busted.

- Our job is to help and protect

the citizens of Swellview,

and that means everybody,

no matter what color chip they identify with!

- You should not be getting involved in snack politics.

- You're not the boss of us. - You can't tell us--

- What'd you say?!?

- I dunno. - Nothin'.

- Ray! Henry!

- What's up? - What

- Someone broke into the Frittle factory

and stole a whole truckload of Frittle chips!

- What color Frittles were stolen?

- Red!

- No! - Yes!

- All right, do I have to lecture you boys a third time?!?

- No no no no... - Naw, no, no...

- Okay, you go look for the truck!

I'll go help the guy who fell off the mountain.

- Right!

- Wait, where's my gumball tube?

- Oh, I made you a new one.

- What the--

Schwoz! What'd you do to my balls of gum?!?

- That's what you get for schtuffing me

in the bucket of oats!

[ whinnying ]

- Ah shut up!

Horse!

- And if you're just joining us,

today, the Frittle corporation is launching

their new blimp.

- It's all a big promotional stunt

to help spread awareness for the big vote,

which will determine Frittle's newest flavor:

either my favorite: Bodacious Blue Bacon

or the other red flavor, which is disgusting.

- Oh, what's this...oh, wow.

We've just received word

that Captain Man has returned a stolen truck full of Frittles

to the Frittle factory.

- That's nice, Mary, but let's hear it

from someone who's a little less irritating.

Evelyn?

- Thanks Trent.

I'm here live at the Frittle factory with Kid Danger.

Tell us how you caught the criminal

who stole the Frittle truck.

- Uh...well, actually...

Captain Man caught the criminal who stole the Frittle truck...

- But you helped?

- No, I was actually tryin' to save another guy

who fell off a mountain.

- Ooo, sounds like you're the real hero.

- Well... - Uh, excuse me!

Hi, hello.

- Yes, and you are?

- I'm Captain Man, you know that!

Everyone knows me, so...

- Oh riiight.

You're the guy who took me out on two dates,

then never called me again.

- Do you wanna know about how I recovered

the stolen Frittle truck?

- I do not. - Well, but I...

- Back to you, Trent.

- Wait, I want the people of Swellview to know--

Oh, is that how it is? Fine.

- Captain Man, Captain Man, Kid Danger...

-Hello there. - Hey fellas.

I'm Jack Frittleman, chariman and C.E.O.

of Frittle Snacks,

and I wanted to thank you personally for--

Hmmm?

- Is there a Problem? - Well, sort of.

Uh, when the truck was stolen, it was carrying

cases of Ragin' Red Rhubarb Frittle chips.

- Yeah? - So?

- Uh, it seems that

two cases of the chips are missing.

Weird.

I wonder what happened to them.

-Well, I guess you'll just have to ask the missing chips.

- What does that mean? - Hmm?

- Well, the chips are missing. So I can't ask the chips.

- And even if he could, chips can't talk.

- Well, if chips could talk and they were here,

I'm sure they could tell us.

- What's he saying? - I don't know.

- Bottom line: You're welcome.

- Captain Man! Captain man!

- Kid Danger!

- Uhhh...who are these children?

- Oh, that's just my siiiii...

- Siii-scissors. Has anybody seen my scissors?

My scissors?

- No, I don't have them. - Nooo.

- No? Okay.

- We're the Man Fans.

- The official fan club for Captain Man and Kid Danger.

- We're verified.

- Hey guys. - Yeah, sup Fans?

- Okay! Are you kids here to see the launch

of our new Frittle blimp?

- No. Kids hate blimps.

- We gotta decide which Frittle chip

we're gonna vote for on Tuesday,

so we need to know.

- Need to know what?

- Which chip Captain Man and Kid Danger

are voting for!

- We're gonna vote for whoever you guys tell us to.

- Yeah, so. - Red or Blue?

- Well...if you wanna know... - I'm gonna go with the...

- You should not be getting involved in snack politics.

- Uh, hey, look, sorry kids.

But Captain Man and I do not get involved in snack politics,

so you'll just have to-- - Vote red!

- What! - Yesss.

- Kids! If you like me, Captain man says

vote for the Ragin' Red Rhubarb chips!

- Nooo! You're not supposed to--

Vote blue!!!

- Stop it! - You stop it!

- Tell them to vote blue... - I can do whatever I want...

Vote for the Ragin' Red Rhubarb or die!

Why don't you just take a walk and chill.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah, chill.

"C-H-I-L-L", chill, mm-kay?

Telling me what I can and cannot--

[ g*n powering on ]

[ g*n blast ]

- Okay.

- Okay, hey, look--just 'cuz I sh*t you in the face

doesn't mean--

- Uhhh...fellas...

- No, no, he's asking for it. - Don't you do it.

Okay, say hello to my Frittle friend.

Owwwww!

Right in the eye, okay, that's how you wanna play

- That's enough.

- Oh, is it enough? - Yeah.

- I'll just adjust this gauge...

What's happening?

- Why's that light flashing?

- They jammed the system controls!

Now the corn compressors are building up

an extreme amount of pressure, and...

and they can't release the corn gas!

- Attention. This is Jack Frittleman.

Run.

And the expl*si*n was felt all throughout Swellview,

and even in some nearby cities,

including Naborville, Border Town, and Rivalton.

- But luckily, despite the magnitude of the blast,

everyone important survived.

- So, the real victim here

is our own city of Swellview.

Because not only has the red vs. blue contest been canceled,

but also, C.E.O. Jack Frittleman says

it's going to take four years to rebuild the factory.

- Four years.

That's a "Frittle" too long if you ask me.

- I wish you'd been in that factory, Mary.

- Dang it.

I loved those blue Frittle chips.

- I loved them too.

- I loved the red ones.

- I loved not caring.

- Well, Henry and Schwoz...

shucks for you guys.

- What are you all happy about?

- Oh y'know...

Ragin' Red Rhubarb Frittles.

- Well that's too bad, 'cuz they all blew up.

- Did they?

- Uh yeah, it was just on the news.

- Was it?

- Yeah, we just watched it.

- Did we?

- Okay, will you quit doin' that?

- Will I?

- Ray, what do you know?

- Well...I know...

that when you're a superhero,

and you find a stolen truck with four hundred cases

of red Frittles inside,

it's never a bad idea to

snag a couple of cases for yourself.

- But that's stealing.

- Is it?

- Yeah. - For sure.

- Yeah, all right.

- W-w-wait...

You're sayin' there's two cases

of red Frittles here?!?

- Yep. About half a mile down there,

right in the Man Cave.

- Wait, wait...

my sister Winnie went down to the Man Cave

to have a schnack and take a nap.

- You!

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.