03x07 - Dodging Danger

[bunniefuu]

- Oh! Missed me!

Ah! Keep tryin'!

Ah! Got me there!

Ooo, that was close.

- [ chuckling ] - That was pretty great right.

- Hey guys, guess what just happened--

Ahh! My nose!!!

- Who threw that ball? - Yeah who?!

I mean, I'm oh-kay...

But who?!?

- Eh...Charlotte!

- I didn't throw that ball!

- You did too! She did!

Jasper, you saw! Wasn't it Charlotte who--

Oh, my nose!

- THAT was me.

- Ahhh, lookit!

My nose is bleeding.

From both holes!

- Don't fret, Schwoz.

Captain Man knows how to fix a nose bleed.

Two hot dogs, plain.

- Hot dogs?

- Shhhhhh.

COMPUTER: Two hot dogs. Plain.

- Hey Hen! Guess what I'm training for.

- Uhhh...does it involve bouncing?

- Kinda.

Let me give you a hint.

- He's training for a three-on-three

Dodge-A-Leen tournament.

- Awww, your hint revealed too much!

- Hey...I've heard of Dodge-A-Leen.

- Owwie! Be gentle.

- Oh, hush.

Isn't that basically just dodgeball on trampolines.

- Pretty much. - Yeah, I thought so.

- W-wait, So, who are the two other players on your team?

- Well, one is Piper...

- Wh--my little sister Piper?

- Yeah! She's small,

so it makes her hard to hit,

and she's naturally vicious!

- That is true.

- Tell him who you want the third member

of your Dodge-A-Leen team to be.

- Wellll...

He's about this tall...

- Alllll right, I get it.

- He's handsome...

Oh God, stop. I can't take this anymore.

- So will you be on my team?

- Yeah, sure man, sounds fun.

- I know! 'Cuz with your new superpower...

your uh... hydro-mo-diddly...

- Hyper-motility.

- Yeah yeah.

With your insane hand-speed and footspeed,

the other teams won't be able to lay a ball on you!

[ grunting ]

- Wait wait waaaiiit a minute...

- Oh heeeere it comes. - All right, okay.

- Lemme guess.

You have some reason why this is bad,

or wrong, or dangerous,

or too much fun.

- Uh, I have a reason...

Henry's superpower is for fighting crime.

Not for bouncing and dodging balls.

- Yeah. He can't use his superpower to win competitions.

- You're a fun squasher. - Yeah.

- Okay, you better take that back...

- No.

- Or when you ask me to be on your team,

I'm gonna say no.

- I take it back. - Good.

- Will you be on my team? - No

- She tricked me...

- Sorry Kid.

Alright Schwoz, I want you to keep those

hot dogs up your nose for another--

- [ burp ]

- Did you eat those bloody nose hot dogs?

- I'll never tell.

- Ewww...

- Okaaay, comin' up next, we got...

the Jumpin' Jaspers...

who'll be goin' up against the Bilsky Bouncers.

- Yeah, that's right!

I'm Mitch! And I am back!

The Mitch is back!

- Back from what?

- Back from...shut up, Hart!

- Good one.

- Hey guys, I'm ready to play.

- Dude, you don't stuff your face fulla food

right before a match!

- Don't tell me how to live my life.

- Hey, I'm going to the bathroom real quick.

- Why?

- To take a tennis lesson.

- Uh...okay.

Well, since you were just very sarcastic to me,

now you can't have a lick of my ice cream cone.

- Hey, check out this mischief.

- Hey! Who just heaved that ball?!

- [ choking ]

- Okay! Both teams ready?

- Uhhh...come on, you okay?

- Hey hey, what's wrong?

- He won't stop choking.

- Oliver!

- Dude, wake up!

- C'mon!

You guys got three players ready to go or not?

- Uhhh, one sec!

Henry, you have to join our team!

- Dude, I totally would, but Ray said

I can't use my superpower for stuff like this.

- Ray's not here!

- Charlotte is! - So?

- So if I join your team

you know she's gonna give me that look.

- What look?

- Um, are we gonna play Dodge-A-Leen?

Or are you two just gonna stand here and kiss?

- We're just good friends!

- Ooh, we're just good friends.

My name's Henry Hart and I got a bunch a' good friends!

Duma-dum-dee-dum.

- Ha ha!

- All right...

Let's dodge some balls.

- Yeah!

- It's go time!

- Woo! - Yeah! Come on!

PIPER: I'm a girl!

- If you get hit with a ball, you're out!

If you throw a ball

and your opponent catches it, you're out!

When all three team members are out--you lose!

When I say "dodge"-- you dodge!

- Hey, where did Henry g--

- All right, here we go.

[ blows whistle ] Dodge!!!

- You're out!

- Awwww!

- Ah! - You're gone!

- Dang it!

- NAIL 'IM!

- You're gone! And you're gone!

[ whistle ]

And now it's down to one against one!

[ whistle ] - Game!!!

[ cheering ]

- And the Jumpin' Jaspers advance to the next round!

- We won! - Yeah!

- Next round baby! - Round two!

- Yeah round two baby! Yeah!

- Oh my god, that was great.

- There's the look.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- No, no, no--the best part was the look on their faces

when you dodged all those balls.

Like...Waaah! H'yaaah!

- Yeah! The best part was when I kicked the ball

right into Mitch's face, and he was all...ahhh.

[ both talking at once ]

- What are you guys laughin' about?

- Oh, uh, just uhhh... - We were just like...

- We were just talking... - I texted him...

- Yeahhh.... - And I didn't see him...

- And I was like ah, yeah so... - Soo, like....

- So, how's it going? - So, how you doing?

- Okay...

I feel like there's somethin' goin' on here,

and you guys don't wanna tell me what it is.

- Naw, nothings goin' on... - No, nothing at all...

I didn't mean to do anything bad!

- What--Jasper don't--

- Oliver choked on a food bar and passed out!

- Stop talking.

- So I had to either forfeit

or ask Henry to play!

- Ah, nice job.

- I know Henry wasn't supposed to use

his hyper motility to play Dodge-A-Leen,

but he said he would play and we won,

but now I'm scared of the consequences!

- You've k*lled us.

- Henry...?

Did you seriously use your superpower

to win a game of dodgeball played on trampolines?

- Yeah. Yeah I did, okay.

- Wh--I--ah!

Charlotte, how could you allow this to happen?

- Me?!

- Well you're the responsible one.

- I was in the bathroom!

- Why?

- Wh--Why?!? Because I drink liquids.

- Okay. You promise to never do it again?

- No, I'm doin' it again tomorrow.

- What...Tomorrow?!?

- With all dude respect...

you're not the boss of me when I'm not working, so...

- Oh...

Okay. I see.

Okay. Well you just keep on playin' then.

- Really?

I mean, you're cool with it?

- No...

But you just keep on playin'.

- What does that mean?

- Nothin'.

- But, it kinda sounded like...

- Nothing. Okaaay?

- 'Kay. - 'Kayy...

- 'K... - 'K...

'K...

- Whoa, yeah man, this must be the place.

- This sure must be the place.

- All riiiight.

- How did my life become this?

- Look, we need to teach Henry a lesson so he'll never...

Uh...yo, miss Dude.

Yo, miss Dude.

- Yes?

- Uh, we wanna enter the Dodge-A-Leen tournament.

- Yah baby.

We are excited to throw some balls

at other peoples.

- Well, sorry, but if you wanted to be in the tournament

you had to sign up by last Friday.

- Uh...like, we get that, but--

- Hey. Hey hey.

Soooo...

maybe you will let us play in the tournament

if we bribe you with this money.

- Oh good lord.

- All right...c'mere...

- So, um, why don't I take this...

and here are some passes...

Now, go sign in and you can play.

- Thanks...but first...

- Ha! - Schwoz!

- Look! Now we got the passes,

and we get our money back!

- Then what was the point of the bribe?

- What you mean?

- If you were gonna zap her, you coulda just done that

in the first place, and then taken the passes

- So your bribe was just a waste of time.

- Yeah.

- Eh, next time.

- Let's do this!

- I...

Will you say something to him!

- Yeah, Jasper, buddy, will ya please put on a shirt

that goes all the way down to your pants?

- Why? We're in round two.

And this'll show 'em that we play to win.

- Nooo. all it's gonna show 'em

is that you've got a weird belly button!

- What's wrong with it? - Just...

- Awww, what is this?

- What's what? - Um, nothin'...

Will sign us in, please.

- Sure. - Thank you.

- Anything to get away from that weird hole.

- Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom

to look at something

- Your belly button? - Nooo.

- Uh, heyyyy.

- Whooaaa, check out the competition.

- Yah! Look who it is!

That guy!

- I'd rather be anywhere but here.

- Okay, what are you guys doin',

will you get outta here?

- Whoooaaa! No can do, broseph.

- Yahhh, you better check your privilege.

- Why are you guys here?

- To make sure you don't win this competition

by misusing yoursuperpower.

- [ scoffs ] Oh really?

And how ya gonna do that?

- Well, if you don't quit and drop out,

we're gonna have to b*at you.

- Oh really?

Well my reflexes are about a hundred times

faster than yours, so...

how are you gonna do that?

- Easy.

With this...

- You're gonna b*at me by wiggling your fingers?

- Noooo!

By using this special glove that Schwoz made.

- I didn't get a special glove.

What makes that glove so special?

- Well, let's just say...

it makes person throw balls

a little faster than normal.

Observe.

CHARLOTTE: Uh, is Oliver okay?

SCHWOZ: Yeah, he's okay.

- Impressive...

But uh, my hyper-motility still makes me

a little bit faster than you.

- You're not that fast.

- Well, then how did I pull Schwoz's pants down,

without any of you noticing?

- Pfftt. You didn't pull Schwoz's pa--oh.

- See you guys on the tramps.

- I don't wanna see this.

- Come on.

Would you pull your pants up?!

- Okay, we're down to just six teams

for this year's Dodge-A-Leen tournament.

First up, we got the Jumpin' Jaspers

playing against the Dodger Dolls.

[ whistle ] - Dodge!

[ whistle ] - You lose!

- And the Jumpin' Jaspers advance!

Now we've got the Smack Masters

against Bro-Force One!

- Dodge!

You're out!

You're out!

You're out! [ whistle ]

You lose!

[ cheering ]

- You lose!!!

[ whistle ] That's game!!!

- Bro Force One! Bro Force One! Yeah!

- All right people, this is it!

The Dodge-A-Leen finals!

- On the North tramp, we're gonna have...

Bro Force One!

- Bro Force One! Taking names, dodgin balls.

- All right! - Yeah!

- Yeah man! Dodge-A-Leen - What it izzzz!

- Hi everyone.

- And on the South tramp,

we're gonna have The Jumpin' Jaspers!

[ cheering ]

- Okay, teams. It's tramp time!

- All right! Both teams...

Hey!

No glaring.

- Uh, sorry. - I didn't know.

- Ready?

[ whistle ] Dodge!!!

[ cheering ]

- Come on!

- Oh no...

don't throw a ball at my foot.

- You're out!

- Darn it.

- Waaaaahhhhh!!!

- Uh, Piper flew away!

- Jasper, look!

- What the--

Ah!

- You're out!

- Nooooo!

- Ayyyeee!!

- You're out!

- C'mon. I dare you. I dare you.

[ gasps ]

- You're out!

- What the--?!?

- Piper, you got him!

[ chuckles ]

- No way, dude!

She was already out!

- No she wasn't!

- The girl was never hit by a ball,

I did not call her out--

so you lost!

- You're not gonna call me out for that!

[ both shouting ]

[ blowing whistle ]

[ laughing ]

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.