- C'mon, hurry up!
- I'm going as fast as I can.
Hey, what about forks?
- Yes! Definitely hide the forks!
You can k*ll a person with a fork!
- Right!
- Uh, mom...dad?
- What, what is it, Henry?!? - What-what-what?!?
- I...I just wanna know what you guys are doin'.
- Well...y'know how Piper signed up
for that weekend ski trip,
with a bunch of kids from her class?
- Uh, yeah, sure.
- That's why me and Henry are havin' a boys weekend together.
- Hey, can you not call us boys?
- But we are boys.
Baaaad boys!
- Anyway, what's the problem with Piper's ski trip?
- Well, y'know her friend... that girl Narlee?
- Uh, yeah.
- Well, Narlee's mom called to tell us
that the other kids all left on the ski trip without Piper.
- What?!? Why?!?
- They didn't want her to go.
- Well, what'd Piper say?
- We haven't told her yet.
- We're trying to hide everything dangerous first.
- When did we stop being boys?
- Hey! - Yeah...
- Let's make Henry tell her! - Ooo, right!
- Uh, no no no no,
there's no way I'm telling Piper.
- Tell me what?
- Ah! - Oh god!
- Dear god she has ski poles.
-Okaaay...
why do you all look so freaked out?
- Freaked out? - What, me?
- No, it's all good... - No idea what you're...
- I'm not freaked out. - [ clears throat ]
- Tell her. - I'm no...no. No!
- Honey, I really think it's your place
to tell Piper what happened with--
- I'll get it.
- Did the doorbell ring? - I heard no doorbell.
- The doorbell did not ring.
- Oh heyyy.
Sure, I'd love to go to the ball game.
- Coward!
- Mom? - Hmm?
- What's up?!?
- Well honey... Um, see, uhh...
your brother has something to tell you.
- Uh, hang on...
I just got a video message from Narlee.
- Ooo, yeah, you, you should watch that.
- Yeah...I'm gonna.
- Piper, if you're watching this video,
we're already gone.
- Gone? Why?
- You're probably wondering why.
Well, it's 'cuz of your bad temper.
Y'know, it's like...
every time something doesn't go your way,
you freak out and you yell and scream...
and it's just not fun to be around.
- She's not wrong.
- Anyway, we don't mean to hurt your feelings.
It's just that we don't want you around.
Ski ya later.
- Piper? Are you okay, honey?
- I just...
I didn't know that my friends don't like me.
- Piper... - Careful!
It could be a trick!
- Hey...
- I need to blow my nose.
[ snorting ] - Okay...Okay...
Here ya go.
- What no...? - [ blows nose ]
- Ahhh!!! Ugh...
- Now listen.
Your friends, they like you.
The only thing they don't like
is when you get mad and you start yelling
and having temper tantrums.
- He's right baby. People hate that.
- Well what do I do?
I can't help how I am when I get angry.
- Yes, you can.
Look, one of my teachers made this kid in my class,
Mitch Bilsky, go to Jam Class.
- Ooo, I love making jam. - Mom! Please.
See, "JAM" stands for Junior Anger Management.
They can help you learn to control your angry feelings.
- Really? - Yeah...
- Hey...where's the switch for the light above the sink?
- Jasper. - Not now, okay?
- Sweetie...
you think you might wanna go?
To Jam class?
- I think I need to go.
[ grinding ] - D'ahhhhh!!!
My shirt's caught in the garbage disposal!
- Wh--flip the switch! Flip the switch!
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick.
- Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles...
and fight crime. Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
- Junior Anger Management.
It's important.
And as we all learned in last week's Jam class...
getting mad... stands for what?
Anyone?
Does it stand for...
- Aaahhh!
- Incorrect.
"Mad" stands for...
"My"... "Attitude"...
is... "Dangerous."
Now say it with me...
Myyyyy aaaatituuuude
is daaangerouuuussss.
All right.
- Hi. She's here for uh, Junior Anger Management.
- Class started ten minutes ago.
- Uh, right, sorry.
Um, her name's Piper Hart,
- Hey! Why are those turds
interrupting our Jam class?!?
- Sit down, Naomi.
- I'm too angry to sit!
- Then squeeze your bulb!
- But-- - Squeeze your bulb!
[ air spraying ]
- Breathe it in.
- Good. Now sit down.
- Sure thing, Mister Kelvin.
- Whoaaa, what just came out of her neck?
- She's wearing an aroma collar.
- What's that?
It's a collar, connected to a canister
filled with cactus fluid, eucalyptus,
ginger, honeysuckle, and rabbit urine...
which all mix together and form a special mist.
- Ah..."special mist."
- Yes, and when a person breathes it in,
he or she instantly feels a sensation
of calmness and well-being.
- Wow! And it's safe?
- I don't know-- why is she late?
- We're late 'cuz my dad
just had to take a left turn on the Swellview Turnpike...
right after I said,
Hey Dad, don't turn left on the Swellview Turnpike
'cuz if ya do, we're gonna get stuck in the middle of...
Hiiii, I'm Piper.
- Can I borrow that?
- Well, move over Chicago--
because Swellview is about to become
"the windier" city.
- Good one, Mary.
Bring your pets inside,
and tie your kid to something heavy,
because a big ol' tornado is on the way to Swellview,
and it's expected to cause powerful winds
of up to miles per hour.
So now here's Mary with what she calls
her tornay-doos, and tornay-don'ts. Mary?
- Do stay inside.
Don't go outside.
- Awwww yeah. In other news...
[ Captain Man moaning ]
- Okaaaay...
Girls pulling arms.
Pumpkins being m*rder*d.
- Why are you making them hack up pumpkins?
- Isn't it obvious?
- No.
- I'm on pep! P-E-P!
- Pep? - Yeah! The pumpkin eating plan.
All I eat are pumpkins now.
Pumpkin juice, pumpkin smoothies,
pumpkin patties, pumpkin pasta,
pumpkin jerky, pumpkin...
- Hey look! Everybody!
Come look what I made!
- Uh...what is that?
- I call it a "breeze-eer."
You can use it if there are strong winds.
- Oh, is this about that tornado that's headed toward Swellview?
- Yah! See, if the wind grabs you
and lifts you off the ground,
you can use these controls to turn yourself, and navagoot.
- Navagoot?
- I think he means navigate.
- Navi-gaaeea-te...
Hey! Who wants a breeze-eer?
- I'm fine. - Nobody. Nobody wants that.
- Oooka-vitch d'fobbo koobleem...
mayim bialik Aziz Ansari...
Dos videcto. Elos fit!!!
Esdeno! Sva di! Sva da...
- Hey Henry...
did Piper start Junior Anger Management?
- Uh, yeah. Me and my dad
dropped her off there this morning.
- Ha! - What?
- Ha! As in, "Ha!
Jam class is stupid."
- No it's not.
- Jam class helps a lotta angry kids.
- Well, it's not gonna help Piper.
- Why not?
- Because she's an animal.
- Yeah, and besides, people never change.
That's why they say
"Angry at five, angry at fifty"
and uh "Once a freak, always a freak."
- All right!!! All right!!!
Anyway, I was at Piper's Jam class this morning
and I bet it does work.
- Well...I tell ya what.
Let go of me.
I bet you that the day your sister is done
with Jam class...
I can get her to lose her temper that very same day.
- Nah, I doubt it.
'Cuz they have these cool aroma collars--
- Blobbity blobbity 'roma collar...
- All right it's a bet!
- Yeah it's a bet!
- Then I'm with team Henry.
- Well, I'm on team Ray.
- Take it away.
- So, what's the bet?
- The bet is...
- When I get Piper to lose her temper...
you and Charlotte gotta eat
a big ol' bucket o' raw pumpkin guts.
- So...when you fail
to make Piper lose her temper,
you and Jasper have to eat a big ol' bucket
o' raw pumpkin guts?
- Yeah! While wearing swim suits!
- What?
- I was just saying we should wear swimsuits when we're--
- Just...just be quiet.
So we got a bet? - We got a bet.
- So just to confirm... no swim suits?
- Why? Why are you-- - Stop! Just stop talking.
- Uh-huh...yeah,
Piper comes home from Jam class tonight,
so I'm making her favorite dinner...
Ooo, I think he's here with Piper right now.
[ wind blowing outside ] - Mom!
- Hey. - Hi Mrs. Hart.
- Hello Mrs. Hart.
- Hiii. I didn't know
you were bringing friends to dinner.
- Uh well I--
- Friends...and his boss, from Junk-N-Stuff.
- Mom, you remember Ray.
- Oh sure-- we've met a dozen times.
- Ah...Fourteen.
- Really? That's right I'm sorry...
- Yeah there's...
- Hey, can I uh... go up to your room for a sec?
- Why? - You'll see.
You'll all see.
[ text message rings ] - Oh!
Oh, it's Piper,
she and your dad will be here any minute.
I better go butter the lobster balls!
- Lobster balls?
- Hey!
Okay, before Piper gets here, let's go over the bet.
- Okay. When Piper gets mad and loses her temper,
Jasper and I win.
And you two gotta eat a big ol'
nasty bucket o' pumpkin guts.
- Or...when Piper doesn't get mad and lose her temper,
Henry and I win.
- Yeah! And then you losers
gotta eat a big ol' nasty bucket o' pumpkin guts.
- Such a child.
- Uhhh...guys...
- Well...hello everyone.
- Dude, we told you:
the swim suit is not part of the bet.
- Oh I know.
- I'm just uh, showin' off my new one.
Ehh? Ehh?
- Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
[ wind blowing outside ]
- And look who's back!
It's me and Piper!
- Dad, please don't make a big deal.
- Hi baby!
Guess what we're having for dinner tonight!
Lobster balls and fofu!
- Seriously? - Yeah!
- Wait, what is fofu?
- Well, it tastes just like tofu.
- But it's made with meat.
- Ohhh. All right. - Ahhh that sounds pretty good.
- ♪ Ji badowski Shi bishlnoke... ♪
Schwoz, I want you
to imagine my voice as you read this.
Okaaaay.
RAY: We're low on pumpkins.
So, I want you to go to the all-night market
and buy fifty more large pumpkins.
Your Boss, Ray.
- No way!
I'm not going outside in the middle of a tornado storm!
Baaaahhhh!
RAY: I don't care if there's a tornado storm.
- Baaaahhhh!
RAY: Pick up both notes you threw on the floor.
And then go get the pumpkins.
- Ray...would you like to try a lobster ball?
- Would I like to? Oh yeah.
But I'm on a strict PEP diet, so...
- Oh, you mean the Pumpkin Eating Plan?
- [ sighs ] You really get me.
- I like corn.
- Mmmm...this fofu really does taste like meat.
- Yeah! But not the good meat.
[ doorbell rings ] - Hmmm. Doorbell.
I guess someone's at the door.
- Uh, hi. - Hello.
[ pony snorts ]
- Did someone order a pony?
- A pony?!?
- Wow...I wonder why there's a pony here.
- Uh, it says here...
"This beautiful pony is a present for Piper Hart."
- Ahaha!
- A present for Piper?
Gosh, Piper, you must be so excited and happy.
- I am! - Okay little girl here's your--
Wait. How old are you?
- I'm eleven.
- Oooooooooo. - Ooooooo.
- Yeah, sorry kid--
ya gotta be at least to get a free pony.
- But...what?
- That...that jerk just took my pony away!
- Uh-ohhhh...
I think somebody's about to get angry.
- Yeah I'm about to get angry!
I've wanted a pony since I was years old.
Do you understand what it's like to have...
That's a nice lookin' swim suit.
- It is?
- Oh yeah. It makes me happy.
I'm gonna have some more fofu.
- I cannot believe this...
making me go get fifty pumpkins
in the middle of a tornado storm...
[ grunting ]
Ahhhhh!!!
- Ooo! Henry and Charlotte, I gotta show you guys
somethin' really cool! Come on!
- Ulch...
- Uh so...
I have to go get something from my car...
Outside...Okay.
- AHHHHHH!!!!!
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!!
- Wait...come back.
- Dude, why would you think
we'd care about seeing your big toe?
- Because it's really unusual.
- So is the rest a'you.
- Wait...where's Ray?
- I dunnoooo.
- They're up to somethin'.
- We better find him.
[ blowing bubble ]
- Ray!
- Oh, hey Henry.
- What are you up to?
Nothin', I'm just--
[ phone rings ]
Schwoz.
Hey Schwoz, you get my pumpkins?
- Ray!!! Help me!!!
I'm aloft!
- Uh...look,
I gotta go make a little girl mad.
- But I need a place to land!
Where are you?!?
- Uh, I'm at Henry's house and I gotta go!
- Wait!
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna go win a bet,
so that you and Charlotte have to eat pumpkin guts.
- Dude... - Hahaha!
Step aside, kid.
Hello everyone! It's me, Captain Man.
- Wow! - Look-it!
- Captain Man! - Ah geez.
- Wow. Captain Man--
what are you doing here,
when there's nothing for you to do,
and you probably should be leaving, maybe?
- Yeah, why'd you come here?!? - Yeah.
- Well, you're the president of my fan club, aren't ya'?
The Man Fans? - Yeah, I am!
- Or maybe not.
- What? Whaddaya mean?
- Uh...I'm sorry,
but to be president of the Man Fans,
you have to be at least foot, inches tall.
- She is! - Yeah, I am ' ".
- Ha!
Oh, uh... Sorry, I coughed.
[ coughing ]
- Uh, uhhh... Yeah, you-you know what?
Actually pfft, what I meant to say was,
uh, you can't be president of the Man Fans
if you're '".
Which apparently you are, so sorry.
- What?!? - That is so dumb!
- Hey, I don't make the rules.
- Well who does?
- A person.
- This is insane!
- Piper remember your bulb-- sque-squeeze your bulb.
- No! I got elected the president of the Man Fans,
fair and square!
- Yeah, but that was probably back
when you were '", so...
- Uh, here, let me squeeze your bulb for you.
- No!
Everyone get away from me and my bulb!
- D'AAAYYYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
EYYAAAAAA!!!!
- Okay. I'm really mad...
But I'm not gonna lose my temper,
because I've learned that if I do lose my temper, that--
- AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
- Do I smell lobster balls?
- Who is this man?!?
- Ooo! Piper's collar broke and fell off!
- P-Piper, c'mon now...
there's no reason to lose your temper or anything.
It's...it's all good--
- No reason?!?
I had a pony that was repossessed!
I got fired from the Man Fans because of my height!
And then some insane man just fell through our roof
and is eating all our lobster balls!
- But-but...y-you like Jasper's new swim suit!
- Yeah. remember, you said his new swim suit makes you happy!
- Well I changed my mind!
- Whoa whoa wait, what what are you--
[ fabric rips ] Ahhh!
- D'ah! Gah!
- Ahhhhhh! The lobster balls!
- Hahahahaha!!!
- I am not okay!!! Ulch!!!!
- Ehhhhh...I'm okay.
- It's better than fofu.
- No it's not. - I know.
[ oven bell ] - Mmm.
03x12 - JAM Session
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.