04x02 - Brawl In The Hall

[bunniefuu]

- Hey.

- Oh. Hey Hen. - Heyyyy Char,

oh, how was youruh, student council meeting?

- Oh, it was really good.

Next semester we're planning

a bake sale to raise money--

- Aww, that sounds great.

- All right... It's almost four o'clock,

we better get to work.

- Oh no, we're good, Piper's gonna drive us.

- Nooo, I don't like it when Piper drives us.

- Why? She has her driver's license.

- Only because the state gave her one by mistake.

- Ss...still valid.

[ car horn honks ]

- Is that Piper?

- Yeah. Hey Piper!

Quit honkin' the horn!

[ car horn honks ]

Love you too! [ car horn honks ]

- All right, where's Jasper?

- Uh, still in detention.

- Aww. What's he in for, anyway?

- Dress code violation.

- Awww, not a belly shirt.

- Belly shirt.

- All right, the door's open, now get outta here!

That's right. You're alllll disappointments!

- Hey guys.

- Why-why are you wearing a pink sweater?

- Oh, this is Miss Shapen's.

Uh, she made me put it on since my crop-top shirt

was a dress code violation.

- Well why did you wear a crop top shirt

when you know it's against the rules?

- 'Cuz I should have the right

to let my belly button breathe and be free!

- I don't think that's a "right."

- It might be a wrong.

- And why do you have those?

- Oh...

I think these are built-in to the sweater.

- You think?

- Hey! Will you guys hurry up?!?

I'm parked in a handicapped spot!

- You're not supposed to do that.

- I'm also not "supposed"

to have a driver's license.

But I do. Now let's go!

- Alright. Just a sec.

- Yeah okay.

- Ooo hey hey hey, guess who was in detention with me!

- Mmm...I don't want to. - We don't care.

- Byshelle Bilsky.

- No way! Bysh?!?

- I thought Bysh was in jail!

- They let her out.

- Who's Bysh Bilsky?

- A girl with a baaaad attitude.

- Yeah, and she's crazy. A lunatic.

- Yeah... Remember in fifth grade?

When Bysh put that that scorpion in Miss Shapen's purse?

- Yeah! And Miss Shapen reached inside,

and the scorpion bit her, and then she yelled

Ahhhh! Bysh! Bysh!

What did you doooo?!?

- Oh really? Oh really?!

You think I don't got ears?!?

- Oh, I-I-I... - Oh...heyyy Bysh.

- You shut up! - Alright...

- I was talkin' to that! - Huh?

- I heard you say my name, and then laugh it up.

- Oh...Ohhhhh see,

I was just saying how funny it was when you--

- Oh! Oh, I'm funny?

Is that it? Do you find me hilarious?

- Oh! No no no... no no...

- Oh! What? You think I got no sense of humor?

- Okay, ladies...listen,

I think there's a little misunderstanding here, okay?

- PBBBBTTTHHH - D'ahhh!!!

- Okay that's it!

- Hey hey hey hey hey! - No one...

- It doesn't matter! - You know what!?

You just keep her here!

Just keep her here!

[ cracking knuckles ]

- Hey... what are you doin'?!?

- You know what I'm doin'!

I'm gonna introduce Bysh to Kid Danger,

and show her what's what!

- Hey...Byshelle...

I uh... like your shirt holes.

- Dude! You know Ray's rule! You can't use Kid Danger

to solve your own personal problems!

- You saw what she did! She PBBBBTTTHHH all over me!

- Gimme the gum. - No.

- Give me the gum. - No, I don't wanna give--

- Doooo what's right.

- Henryyyyyy!!!

- Charlotte!

- Henryyyyyy!!!

- Bysh! Are you insane?!?

- No, I'm baaaad.

- C'mon, let's just help Charlotte!

- Ulch, okay... help me tip it over.

- No! No wait wait wait...

why would you tip me ohhhhhhhhh-verrrrrr?!?

Okay, that's it, Byshelle!

You just violated at least four school rules

when you put me in that trash can!

- Yeah, does she look recyclable?!?

- Nah...she looks stupid.

- Hey watch it!

- PBBBBTTTHHH

- You know what? I'm gonna do it!

- No! - Stop touching my tube!

- Let go!

- All right all right...

What's going on in this school hallway?!?

- Nothin', we're just-- - I'll tell ya what's goin on!

- A fight between Charlotte and Bysh!

- Noooo!

- I'm down for a fight.

- Hey!!! The rules say

no fighting in this school during school hours!

- Oh, well... if that's a rule, then--

- So if you girls are gonna have a street fight in this school,

you gotta do it here before A.M.

- Cool with me.

- Wait a second... - Okay!

Monday morning, :.

Charlotte's gonna take you down, Byshelle.

- Lookin' forward to it.

- Owwwww!

She thumped my head so hard!

Hey! You saw that, why didn't you do something?!?

- It's after , I'm off the clock.

Jasper!

Why are you still wearing my special sweater?

- You made me put it on.

- Well I have a date, so give it.

- [ sighs ] Okaaaay...

[ pop ] [ deflating ]

- D'aaahhh, ya popped my favorite one!

- Well... that's it...

Monday at : A.M... my life is over!

- Noooo it's not. Okay?

She's not so tough.

- Yeah. Besides...

strength isn't about the size of your muscles

it's about what's in here...

[ pop ] [ deflating ]

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- You know what you gotta do? Just gotta get baseball bat.

- No, no. - Then you hide in the bushes.

- I just want to forget about Bysh, okay?

And that stupid fight that Piper got me into, okay?

Because I am not going to be--

- Kiyah! - AHHH!!!

- Heh heh heh...

ahhh, kids...

- Hey, Ray, you maybe wanna tell us what's going on?

- Sure.

We are about to get you ready for The Brawl In The Hall.

- That's right. - Uh-huh.

- Wait wait wait... are you talkin' about the uh,

Bysh Bilsky and Charlotte fight?

- No! How would Ray know about that?

- Have you guys not seen the news?

- What news? - Uh this...

- And finally...

this story from Swellview High School.

Notorious bad-girl, Bysh Bilsky

was released from jail only two weeks ago,

but she's already stirring up a ruckus.

- That's right, Trent.

According to our high school informant...

there's going to be a big, nasty fight.

- Apparently, Bysh will be pummeling a local teenage girl

named Charlotte something--

on Monday morning, just before school.

- Wow...

But...I don't wanna fight!

I don't have to fight if I don't wanna fight, right?

- Actually, yeah. - Kinda got to, yeah.

- But don't worry. Because I have brought you

the best personal combat instructors

who'd come here for free.

- And uh, who are these guys?

- This is Sensei Juke...

A multi-degree blackbelt in sh'sheeto, pad-tie,

and keen-wah.

This man is Harley Birch.

He may look out of shape, but don't let this flab fool ya.

[ keys hit floor ]

The heck is this?

- Oh, them are my car keys.

I'm gonna just put them back here in my flab.

- And uh who's that person?

- Ah, this is Kevin. Kevin is--

Owwww!!!

You don't do that 'til I say it's okay.

The heck's the matter with this guy--

Ah! Stop it! Stop it!

Twice? Oh uh, put... Drop it. Drop it!

Y'see, Kevin is a street fighter.

He utilizes any items or objects

he can find in the streets.

- Um....

Aren't items and objects the same thing?

- Uh eh eh eh eh eh...

What have I told you about sass?

- Woah, sorry.

- Now, we're all going to work together,

to turn you into a rad, bad,

Bysh-bustin' mach...ad.

- But I don't wanna-- - Music!

[ romantic music plays ] * Close your eyes

* And open them for a minute

- That is my Love Mix...

Here we go--Upbeat Montage.

[ fast music plays ]

- Hey. No. No. Back.

- Wait, why do I have to wear a blindfold?

- So you can't use your super fast reflexes.

And one and two and prep and kick!

- Nice...

- And now!!!

That's it.

You alright? - No!

- He's alright.

- [ groans ] - Ha!

- Run it!

[ groans ]

Schwoz!!! Action!

- No wait wait, I don't want to play this game anymore because--

- Kiyah! - Aye!!!

- Hah!

Whoa!!! I can't believe it!

I can really fight!

- Yeah! But now I wanna see how you do against...

them.

- Kiyah! - Ohhh.

- Kiyah! - Eek!

- I think you should stop the music.

- Yeah.

- What happened?

- Y'see Charlotte...

you can't learn everything about fighting

in one three-minute montage.

- Ya can't.

- Well then what was all this training for?!?

- That's uh... that's a fair question.

- Hey, where ya goin'? - Home.

- But we gotta help you figure out a way to fight this girl.

- I've had enough of your guys' help, okay?

I'm gonna handle Bysh myself.

- Come on, you can't... - You don't know how!

- I said I don't want

your help or anyone else's. Understand?

- All right. - Okay, we won't help you.

- Thank you.

- We're gonna help her?

- Yeah we're gonna help her.

[ crowd murmuring ]

- Hey hey. Ten bucks to see the fight.

- But we go to school here.

- You can't charge us to walk into school.

- Ten bucks!

- Hem hem!

- Piper...is Bysh here? I need to--

I see her.

Hey, can I please talk to you?

- What?

- I wanna talk to you about not fighting my friend.

- I'm busy.

- C'mon. Please!

Talk to me in here.

Unless you're afraid.

Ahhhh!!! Ahhhh!!!

Ah! Ah!

- Look! - Hey here's Charlotte!

[ cheering ]

- Look who showed up to...

- What's goin' on? [ crowd murmurs ]

- Don't freak. There will be blood.

- Mmm-nnn! - Ah! Jasper!

What are you doing up there?

- Mmm-nnn! - What?

- Mmmm mmmm mmm-nnn mm-nn!!!

- It's time.

- I know what time it is.

I wanna talk to you.

- So did he.

- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

-Still wanna talk?

- Yeah.

Who hurt you?

- Huh?

- Who hurt you?

- Nobody hurts me.

- Yeah, well I don't believe you.

Because you wouldn't be the way you are

unless somebody hurt you.

- Girl, what the butt are you mouthin' about?

- You don't hate me.

You-you're not even mad at me.

But you're mad at somebody.

- Shut up.

- And I bet that's why you go around

looking for excuses to hurt other people.

Am I right?

Tell me.

C'mon...who hurt you?

- It was...

my stupid cousin, Sharice!

- Okay...tell me about stupid Sharice...

- I don't wanna talk about her.

- It's okay. This is a safe closet.

C'mon Byshelle... talk to me.

- It happened in third grade.

- What happened?

- GIRL, I'M TELLIN' YOU!!!

- Right right, sorry.

- It happened at my birthday party...

I was turnin' twelve...

- What...

you were turning twelve in the third grade?

- Uh-huh...

- Uh, nothin' wrong with that.

- Anyway, the day before my party

I fell off my roller-blades and I knocked my tooth out.

This one right here, up front.

- Oh, that must have looked kind of weird, huh...

- Yeah, here's a pic.

- Mmm-nn-mm...

- Okay...

- Then, one of the girls pointed at me and she said...

- You can tell me.

- She said...

"Look! It's Bysh! The toothless dufus!"

- Awww.

- And...and then everybody started laughin'...

and Sharice, she just...

laughed along with the rest of 'em.

And that's when I knew...

if you can't count on your best friend,

you can't count on anybody.

And since then... I've never had a friend.

- Mmm-nn-mmmm...

- Bysh... look at me...

I'll be your friend.

- Nah. You're just sayin' that 'cuz you don't want me

to rip your head off your body.

- Well... that's true...

I don't want you to rip my head off my body...

but I also wanna be your friend.

Do you want that, too?

- Yes please!

- Bysh...Bysh!

Could you maybe hug me just a little less hard?

- Sorry. - It's okay.

- There they are!

All right! Let's get it on!!!

- No, no... sorry, guys...

the fight is not happening.

- There will not be blood. - Thank God!

- What? - Wait!

There's not gonna be a fight?

- 'Fraid not. - Nope.

- No refunds!

- No refunds!

- All right, we're here!

- Everybody freeze and don't move!

- Wait, that's the same thing. - What?

- Freeze... - What are you saying now...

- Freezing and not moving, what's the difference?

- See, that's the kinda sass I'm talkin' about.

- What? I was just helping-- - Hiiii...

Captain Man and Kid Danger.

What brings you here,

when it seems like you don't even need to be here?

- I'll tell you what brings us here.

- A bank robbery.

Yeah, it happened in the middle of the night.

- Fortunately, we were able to track the stolen cash

to this very school.

- Hey guys, we got your call.

- Good. - Uh, yes, officers,

I think you'll find the stolen cash over there,

in locker .

- ?! That's my locker!

- Let's check it.

- Woah woah take it easy!

- Okay, why are you guys here?

- To help you!

- But, I told you I didn't want your help!

- Oh, well uh, hahaha, ya got it!

- Hahaha... you're gonna love what we did.

- What did you guys do?!?

- We uh... we robbed the Swellview Bank!

- We robbed that bank!

- Why?!?

- So we could get a big bag of cash!

- And then last night, around A.M.

We snuck in here...

- And we put the big bag of cash in Bysh's locker!

- And then we called the cops! - Which is why they're here!

- And they yeah...

- You...you framed Bysh?

- Yeah!!!

- So now she'll get arrested!

- And you don't have to fight her!

- But I already fixed it so I don't have to fight her!

I talked to her, and now we're friends!

- Oh. Uh, well...

- That-that is new information.

- There it is!

You messed up this time, Byshelle.

- But...But I didn't put that in there!

- Ohhh, so you're just holdin' it for a friend?

- C'mon, let's go.

Let go--let go! Ahhh!

- You're in big trouble! - Let's go!

- But I didn't do anything! - Yeah, yeah...

- I never saw that money before! - Heard it all before.

- C'mon man!

I just made my first friend since third grade!

Charlotte! Charlotte, come bail me out!

- Charlotte! - Yeah yeah, blah blah blah.

- Don't worry! I'll come to the police station

after my algebra two test!!!

[ school bell rings ]

- Welp...

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.