04x03 - The Rock Box Dump

[bunniefuu]

- And now, Mary is going to begin

her seven-part series on bathroom safety. Mary?

- Thank you, Trent.

- Yeah, sure.

- Have you ever found yourself in a bathroom...

and forgotten who you are? Well, that's because--

- Hang on... we have breaking news...

Apparently, Captain Man and Kid Danger

are in Swellview Park, right now,

battling two unnamed thugs.

- Try putting your foot in the toilet to enhance the way--

- Mary, please!

Okay, I'm told that our brunette reporter,

Evelyn Hall, is arriving on the scene.

Evelyn?

- Thanks Trent. I'm here in Swellview Park.

In fact, this is the place where I got engaged last month.

To a man.

- Uh, okay...

but what's happening with Captain Man and Kid Danger?

- Owwww! Too hard!!!

- Hey Kid! There's a news crew here!

Be right back! - What?!?

What are you doing!?!

No, you can't! We gotta fight these guys--

- Hey, Captain Man here. What's going ooo...

Hey...Emily?

- It's Evelyn. - Evelyn.

- Remember? - Yep.

- You took me out on two dates

and then never called me again?

- Yes yes, I remember.

- Good. So uh, what's going on back there?

- Well, we got a report that there were two thugs

in the park, vandalizing bushes and shrubs,

you know intimidating squirrels...

Is that an engagement ring?

- Oh this? Sure is.

- Wh...what, did you buy that for yourself?

- No. A man gave it to me.

- Hey dude, dude! I really need your help!

- Just just just a second... - No these guys are big man.

They're big! They're bigger than we've ever aaaaa--

- Who asked you to marry him?

- My camera man, right there.

- What, this guy?!? - Hey!

- So you went from Captain Man to "camera" man?!?

Oh that's good.

- Shouldn't you be helping Kid Danger?

- Nah, he's fine. - I'm not fine!

- Y'see uh, Kid Danger has hyper-motility, so, y'know.

- I'm sorry, he has what?

- Uh, hyper-motility. He has that.

- Oh. Uh... And is it serious?

- Pfft, yeah, really serious.

- Well, is hyper-motility deadly?

- Uh, it can be! A-heh heh.

Y'know, I took her out on two dates.

- Yeah? Why don't you shut up.

- You shut up.

- Captain Man! Can you come here right now please?

- Ulch. You're lucky he needs me.

- You heard it here first.

Kid Danger has hyper-motility.

- How's it goin'?

- Do you have any water?

- Oh, yeah.

- Heyyyy, what's up crime fighters

and oh my god I smell chicken wings.

- Shhhhh! Shush!

- Wait, what's going on? What are you guys watching?

- SHHHHHHH!!! It's a news report about you!

- Yeah, they're talkin' about-- - SHHHHHHH!!!

- According to Captain Man himself,

Kid Danger has been stricken with a serious, rare disease,

known as "hyper-motility."

- Wait...what disease? What are they talking about--

- Shhhhh! - Shush!

- Here with us now, in studio,

is rare disease expert, Doctor Andrew Skurvy.

- Good afternoon Trent.

- What can you tell us about this disease, hyper-motility?

- I've never heard of it.

- Interesting.

- But I will say, diseases, in general,

can cause big problems.

- I see. And in what ways do you feel

that hyper-motility might affect Kid Danger?

- Well, it could lead to an increase,

or decrease in his appetite...

high or low blood pressure...

uh, it could cause weight gain...

- Or weight loss? - Possibly.

- Ulch okay you know what? I'm turning this off.

- How come you're so upset?

- 'Cuz! Now everybody in Swellview

is gonna think I'm seriously sick.

- Noooo they won't. - Yeah.

- Nobody under watches the news anymore.

- Yeah... so check social media.

- Ooo yeah, social media's the real news.

Check it. Check it. - 'Kay-kay.

Let's see...

- Hey dude, you have uh, wing sauce.

- Oh uh. Hand me a Wet-Ragette?

- It's like right here. No like...

- Uh-huh - Yeah but like right...

- Uh-huh. - On the side.

And, no but you gotta... You got it.

- Okay, trending topics...

Number five: Goodbye Kid Danger.

- D'ah, see, I knew it. What's number four say?

- Pray for Kid Danger. - And three?

- Kid Danger RIP.

- Two?

- Remembering Kid Danger.

- Number one?

- Hyper-Motility Kills.

- Dang it!

- No! Don't touch me!

- What? No! Dude, I'm not actually sick!

- I don't take risks.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- , ...

, , ... - Hey Piper...

- , - Piper...Piper...

- What--what what is it!

- What are you doin'?

- I'm trying to count rocks,

which isn't easy when you have a dumb brother

going Piper, Piper, Hey Piper, Piper, Piper...

- Hahahaha...

I'm sorry, she just really has your voice down perfectly.

- What? No she d--

Okay, why are you standing here counting rocks?

- For the rock box dump.

- The ro--What is? What is the rock box dump?

- The rock box dump is what people are doing

to help raise money for Kid Danger

and increase awareness of hypermotility.

- Oh my god. Listen to me. Kid Danger isn't sick. Okay?

- Oh really? - Yeah.

- Have you seen the top eleven trending topics?

- Yeah, I've seen the-- Eleven?!?

Look guys, hyper-motility is a superpower.

'Kay?

- Well...I mean, sure,

I guess that's a positive way of looking at it.

- Hehehehe...

- Look, Piper,

all that stuff about Kid Danger being sick

is fake news.

- If Kid Danger isn't sick, then why are people

doing the rock box dump to raise money to help him?

- No one's doing the "rock box dump."

- Oh really? Here...

Why don't you take a look at this?

- Hey everybody. It's me, Oliver.

And to help raise money for hypermotility awareness,

I'm gonna' dump a box of rocks on my head.

One, two...

Owwwwie!

- Well...Oliver doesn't know anything. Okay?

- Okay, then let's take a look at one of your teachers.

- My teach-- - Look!

- Hey ho! Sharona Shapen here.

Professor at Swellview High School.

And I'm gonna take two boxes of rocks

to show my support for Kid Danger,

and the fight against hyper-motility.

Give it to me!

Ohhhh... noooo...

- 'Kay well...

show me a normal person who's doing the "rock box dump."

- M'kay...

how 'bout this guy?

- Hey guys.

Now, I don't know Kid Danger personally...

Heh...Eh... But anyways...

this is to help him get well soon.

Ah! Ah! Cheese-n-rice!

I want my community to think I'm caring!

- Ooo yes! It's working!

- What's working?

- Uh, I want to raise money for hypermotility,

so I set up a Beg-U-To-FundMe page.

See? For every dollar that people donate,

I'm gonna add one rock to this pile

that I'm gonna dump on my own head.

- What?!? - And I'm already up to $!

- Piper... - Don't touch me!

- Well, I-I-I-I think it's great that you wanna raise money

to help fight diseases, y'know but...

- Then why are you whining?

- 'Cuz hyper-motility isn't a disease!

- You're so dumb.

- Well, I'm smart enough to know

that if you dump rocks on your head,

you're gonna end up in the Swellview Hospital.

- Ulch, no I won't. - Piper...

- I'm gonna wear a hat.

- Wha-Wait, Piper...Piper!

- Piper! Piper!

- Hahahahaha!

Dude, she really sounds like you.

- Hey, Ray, I really need you to--Whoa!

Dude! What's go... Are you okay?

What happened?!?

- Chocolate covered grapes. Ohhhh...

Hey...

this little guy tried to escape...

Well? Aw...

No more room in me.

- What is going on? What happened here?

- People sent you...

I mean, people sent Kid Danger...

all these gift baskets full of food.

- "Dear Kid Danger...

"we hope these banana-nut muffins will give you

comfort and joy in your final days."

- Hahaha...

Yeah, everybody thinks you're doomed.

- No dude...I...

I can't believe you ate all these baskets!

- Don't worry, Kid...

I'm--ohhhh... ohhhhhh I'm gonna puke.

- You can puke after we--

Oh, is that a... Aw come on dude!

Now there's a bee in here.

Now there's a bee in the Man Cave.

- Ohhh, my tummy hurts so bad!

- Get outta here bee.

I hate bees, dude!

Oh...Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ah! Ah! Oh!

Dude!!! The bee just stung my tongue!!!

- Pfft...Hehehe. Uh, don't make me laugh!

- All right, I need you to help me do this live-stream.

- Why? - 'Cuz!

I need everyone to know that I--

well, that Kid Danger isn't sick!

- All right. Go set up the live-stream.

- All right. On it!

Ah!!!

Ahhh, ding dong dang-it!!!

- Hahaha--Oh!

I told ya not to make me laugh!

- Come on guys, let's hustle it up.

We gotta get these rocks to Swellview Park.

- Look Piper...

Your Fred Lobster commercial's on TV.

- It is? Ooo, turn it up!

- It's a new day at Fred Lobster.

- Hahahahaha!

Who knows lob--

- We interrupt this program for breaking news.

- Hello everyone-- we've just received word

that Captain Man and Kid Danger

are about to do a live-stream,

to address Kid Danger's severe case of hyper-motility.

- And I'm going to take this opportunity

to show what a good person I am,

by dumping rocks on my head.

- Uh Mary, I'm not sure that's a good idea--

- Okay, it seems the live-stream is about to begin,

so let's take a look.

- Hi. It's me, Captain Man.

Uh...Hey, Kid Danger! - Huh?

- We gonna do this or what?

- Nah nah...Ah'm ga pu e ointmin on my thung...

- Well, we're live-streaming right now, so...

- Wha--rye now?

Doo I toll you to gimme a hehs up!

- Heads up! - B'aaaah!

I'm okay... - You got it?

- I'm okay... - All right.

Oh! You're alive. - I'm fine...

I-I gah it. - Alright, let's go.

- Hi evvah one.

Ith's me, Kih Thanger...

...and uh...ah'm here to thay da, I'm okay!

There's no nee to orry.

Hypa-motility isn a dithese.

Ith a thuper power. Okay?

So ther no nee fo evvah one keep dumpin'...

rocks on you head, because...I'm fy! Ahhh.

- Poor Kid Danger.

- His hyper-motility is getting so much worse.

- Thankoo, and gah bweth the thity uh Thwehview.

- Uh-ye-yes!

Gobbledy-goo to everyone.

- Oh, that poor kid...

- C'mon guys, hurry!

Kid Danger might not last much longer!

So, he needs our awareness,

so let's go drop these rocks on my head!

Go! Go! Go! Go!!!

Ooo! I need my hat!

- There you go...

Uh, this says your tongue swelling should go down

in fifteen to thirty minutes.

- I sure hop tho.

- I dunno what you just said but okay.

- Hey guys...

- Hey Charlotte. - Heh wuth up, Tharlotte?

- Hey, did you see our live stream?

- Um yeah--

they're talking about it on the news right now.

- Oh yeah? - Tuhn uhn the noothz!

- Hey, why are you talking like that?

- Bee stung his tongue. Now it's numb.

- Heh! That rhymed.

- Hehe yeah! I am awesome!

- Tuhn uhn the noothz!

- Unkhay! - Wow.

- Okay, now let's take a look at the next clip...

- There's no need thoo worry. Hah! I'm fy.

- Well, now it seems his hyper-motility

is affecting his tongial motions...

which is why he sounds like: A bluh bluh bluh bluh.

- Right.

And obviously, the only reason Kid Danger

is denying his illness, is to be brave

in the face of his battle with certain doom.

Sadly, I think his next live-stream

might be a dead-stream.

- Ah gray!

- But here's some heart-warming news...

Local tween, Piper Hart,

president of Captain Man's fan club,

is planning the biggest rock box dump of all.

She's heading to Swellview Park,

where rocks will be dropped on her head.

- That's really sweet of your sister.

- What? Sweet?!? - Wha? Thood!

We gah go to Thwellview Parr and go thave huh!

- Why? - Wha?

- Because she's about to drop rocks on her head!

- Oh... - Thas white! Leth go!

- Oh all right! G'ah

- Wha? Thoo, you can't bwing a banana woaf!

- Uh, yes I can bring a banana loaf.

- Uppa thoob!

COMPUTER: I'm sorry... I didn't get that.

- Uppa thoob!

- Searching for... "cup of soup".

- Nooo!!!

- Up the tube!

Aw my loaf!!!

- Okay, here's more...

- Aaaaand... One, two, three, four...

makes rocks.

- Yeah man.

- Now, Jorge, go over there by those trees

and get us ready for the drop. - Yeah sure.

- Attitude!

- Piper! Hey Piper!

Hey...Hang on... - Yeah?

- I'm thinkin' this isn't such a smart idea.

- Well if you think that then it's gotta be smart.

- Thanks. Wait...

- Hey, do you know how to use a forklift?

- Uh, I know how to use a fork.

- Good enough.

Get on that forklift and drive it over there

by the big sign.

- All right.

- 'Kay everyone, we're gonna start a little pre-stream

before we drop the rocks on my head.

- All right! - Woo!

- Okay Jorge, go ahead and count me in.

- Sure. One!

- Oh. Uh...

Hello everyone in Swellview and beyond...

I wanna say that it doesn't--

[ forklift whirs ]

- Okay...I got this...

Backin' up!

Uh, it's okay!

I have an uncle who repairs picnic tables!

- Please just move the forklift into position!

- Okay!

- Cool. And now, get ready

for the biggest rock box dump of all time!

rocks-- dropped right on my head!

- Woo!

- Okay Jasper!

Get ready to pull that dump lever!

- If you say so!

- Drum roll!

- Yeeeeeaaahhhh!!!

- Okay, everybody! Five...

- Four! Three! Two!

- Stop the dump!

- Ow! How rude!

- Kid Danger!

- Shouldn't he be in hospital or something?!?

- No!

- Are these kids live-streaming? - Yeah.

- Good. How's your tounge?

- Uh...Lelelelelele... Better.

- Go talk to 'em.

Okay, hey uh... listen to me...

I'm not sick. Okay?

- Liar!

- What? No, I'm telling you the truth!

- Look, Kid Danger...

you don't have to pretend for us.

- We know you're doomed.

- No he's not.

- But Captain Man said you have hyper-motility.

- Yeah, hyper-motility isn't a disease. Okay?

It's a super-power.

- What? - Huh?

- Kid, why don't you go show 'em?

- Alright... Guys, check this out.

[ crowd gasps ]

- Owww! My uh...My real hair.

- What, you mean this?

Okay. See? That's hyper-motility.

It makes me have super fast reflexes.

- But then how come you were talking so weird?

- And what about your limping?

- That was just a-- I fell on a grape

and I twisted my ankle.

- And before that, he got tongue-stung by a bee.

- Yeah, that tracks.

- And by the way...

it's very dangerous to drop rocks on your head.

So, no kid should ever do that, ever.

- Even if you see someone doin' it on television.

- Or on the internet. Know what I'm sayin'?

- Yeah. Heard of it. - Okay, sorry.

Now you, boy, move this forklift outta here.

These things are dangerous.

- Uh, you got it, Captain Man. Oh...

- Know what I mean?

Ahhh!!!

- Comin' through!

- Uh...Captain Man?

Are you...

- Alright. Now c'mon... we just need a...

like a cool, easy-to-remember name

that really says "super fast reflexes."

- Umm... - Okay, umm...

- How 'bout we just call it S-F-R?

- How 'bout you just stop talking.

- Yeah, why don't you just leave, Jasper!

- Come on man! Take this seriously.

- What about uh, mmm!

"Lightning Fightning."

- That stinks. - Boo!

- Alright alright... I deserved that.

I deserved that. - Hey...

I know what we could call your super fast reflexes.

- Say it. - Hit me.

- Super Fast Reflexes.

- It works. Love it. - Done.

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.