04x17 - Up The Stairs!

[bunniefuu]

[ music ]

[ tube beeps ]

- Hey!

You guys are back here already?!?

- Huh? - Just--

What happened out there?!?

- Whaddya mean?

- We just went to Inside Out Burger.

- Did you guys not get my text messages?!?

- Text messages... - Uhhh...you mean today?

- I know I got one from you last week. I think...

- Oh here it is... - I guessed I miseed it...

- I'm uh, just seeing it. I'm not getting it.

- Ughhhh. I texted you guys

because I got a call on the emergency hotline

from the Swellview Airport.

Some five-year-old child

climbed into the cockpit of a big jet airplane

and drove it all the way to Toys Plus.

- What? Uhhh... - Oh yeah!

- Oh you did send us that...

That's exactly what you said.

- Urgent... child in danger...

Hurry time is running out... - Blah, blah, blah...

- Hello. why aren't you responding?

- Are you seeing my texts? - Are you seeing my texts?

- Hello? - Hello?

- Just forget it!!!

can you gimme an Inside Double.

- Oh, uhhh...

I actually only got one a'these,

and I was gonna eat it, so--

- PPBBTTHHBBTTHHPPBBTH!!!

PPBBTTHH!!!

- Here, I got you this.

- Thanks.

[ singing ]

- Oh hey Schwoz.

- Ah, hello Henr--

Ooo! You guys got Inside Out B'yerger?!?

- Burger.

- Heh?

- You said "b'yerger"...

or something like that. It's pronounced burger.

- Buh-h'yer-g'yer.

- Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah,

bur-ger.

- Gwah vah.

- Nailed it.

- Okay!

- Hey... what is that?

- Oh, I'm optiomizing the power consumption,

here in the Man Coove.

- Cave. Man Cave.

- Cooooo-- - No--

we're not doin' that again.

- Yeah, c'mon, let's get this story goin'.

- So, what does "optimizing power" even mean?

- It just makes everything work better.

- Huh. - And now...

I'm going to have to temporarily turn off

the electrical power

that operates both tubes and the elevator.

- Sooo... you can say,

"I'm going to have to temporarily turn off

the electrical power that operates

both tubes and the elevator"...

but you can't say burger.

- Gwaaaa--

- Don't worry about it.

- Okay, and...

[ whirring ]

- Hm. Wonder what Schwoz is doin' down there.

Probably something smart.

- BWUUUUAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

- OH MY GOD!!!

[ alarm sounds ]

- Uh-oh.

Emergency in Junk-N-Stuff.

- Alright everybody we're live

in five, four, three, two...

- Hellooooo Swellview!

- No way no way no way no way no way!

- Ahhh! - Gahh!

- You're Morgan Maykew!

- Thaaat's me. And I'm here to...

Maykew A Meal!

- Th-that's that's that's Morgan Maykew!

- Yea, he's my favorite celebrity chef!!

- Oh my gosh I have all Morgan Maykew's cookbooks!

- You do?!? - Yeah!

I have Maykew Lunch!

Maykew Say Yum! Maykew Drool!

Maykew Fatter...

- Okay, today we're here at a store

called Junk-N-Stuff! - Ahhhh! Ha ha!

- Love the energy, it's great!

We're here at Junk-N-Stuff--

- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[ exhales ]

- We're here at Junk-N-Stuff, with?

- MORGAN MAYKEW!!!

- Right!

But what's you're name?

- Uh, J.J. Grandmaster Boogie the Third!

- Is that really your name?

- No. It's uh--Jasper. Jasper Dunlop.

- So WHY are we standing down here when

Morgan Maykew's up there makin' a big delicious meal?!?

- 'Cuz we're idiots! - C'mon, let's go!!!

- Guys... Hey guys.

- Ah! - Hey!

- I'm pushing the button! - I already pushed it!

- HEY GUYS!

I told you-- I turned off the elevator.

- Well turn it back on man, c'mon!

- I cannot do that

until the system update is finished.

- The tubes!!!

- Up the tube! - Up the tube!

- Get out of the way!

- Guys, hey guys. Guys, guys, guys!

- I also turned off the tubes.

- The elevator!!!

- Move it! - I'm pushing the button!

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

[ music ]

- So Jasper-- you like appetizers?

- Sure! I'll eat whatever you say!

So you're making a sushi appetizer?

- Well it looks like sushi,

but inside it's actually filled

with macaroni and cheese!

- Dang Morgan!

- Why Schwoz?!?

Why would you trap us down here?!?

- I told you I was turning off the power

to the tubes and the elevator!

You knew!

Everybody knew!

- Okay. Well, can you at least

turn the tubes and the elevator on for like ten seconds?!?

- Yeah, just long enough so we can get up there

and be on the show with Jasper?!?

- I can't interrupt the system update.

- B'aaah! - D'aaah!

- All right, Ray, what do you think?

Is there any way that we cou...

Ray? Ray, what are ya...

- [ grunting ] - Oh man.

Hey.

Ray. What are you doin' up there, buddy?

- I wanna meet Morgan Maykew

and be on the TV show!

- You're gonna climb?

Half a mile?

Up the tube?

- It could happen!

- I believe you.

Jasper: Oh stop it! You are not!

Morgan: I'm doin' it!

Okay Jasper...

You wanna try

my special sush-a-roni-n-cheese roll?

- Morgan may I?!? - Hit it.

- Mumblmgmmpf mna mmma gwahm.

- Don't know whatcha just said!

But you better swallow that,

'cuz in a few minutes,

I'm gonna "Maykew" a lot more

of my funkaliscious dishes,

right here ON...

- Television!

- Onnnnn, Maykew A Meal.

- On television!!!

- It's a new day at Red Lobser...

- Did you hear that?

Now Morgan Maykew's makin' Jasper

a bunch of awesome snacks!

- Yeah, and all we get to do

is stay down here and stare at 'em!

- STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!

- What'd you scream?!?

- The stairs!

We can take the stairs up to Junk-N-Stuff!

- Yes! Yessss!

- Dude!

- Yeah?!?

- We're a half mile underground.

- Right!

- And you think we're all just gonna

walk up a half-a-mile of stairs?

- Sure! It could be fun! It sounds fun!

C'mon! Let's go let's go!

- Hey! Ray, come on! Come down!

We figured out a way to get up to Junk- N-Stuff!

- What?!? I can't hear you!

- Daaaaaahhh...

All right. C'mon.

- Ahh!

Come on, come on.

We're gonna take the stairs!

- Oh yeah! The Man-Stairs!

Let's go!

- Hey you comin'?!?

- Oh yeah.

- You lyin?!?

- Oh yeah.

- 'Kay later!

- Okay. Our test is tomorrow.

That means we have seven hours

to learn an entire semester of algebra.

- You think we can do it?

- I think so.

As long as we don't have any distractions or--

[ phone rings ]

One second.

Yeah what?

Who?!? What channel?!?

'Kay I'll call ya back!!!

- What's going on?!? - Hush!!!

- Aw yeah.

- Ahhhh! That's Junk-N-Stuff!

- What's Junk-N--

- It's the store where my brother works!

- You ready for that? - Uh-huh.

- I'm gonna go eat food on television!

- Wait, what about our algebra?!?

- All right boys...

we've got a half-mile journey ahead of us...

- It's exactly flights of stairs.

- We got this!

- Now remember:

The key to not getting tired is to not stop.

- We don't stop! - Can't stop, won't stop!

- See ya at the top boys!

- AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

- Ahhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!

Ahhhhhh!

- Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!

Ahhhhh...

- Time out.

- Oh I think I'm dying. I'm pretty sure I'm dying guys.

- I'm going to vomit.

- How how many floors have we climbed so far?

- Five.

- How many more to go?

- .

- Ohhhhhhhhhhh! - Awwww.

- Ohhhhhh.

Oh, this is the best!

- Ohhhhhhhhhh!

- This is the worst!

- Okay, people of Swellview!

We're back live.

I'm Morgan Maykew, and I'm here with...

- Meee!

- Jasper. - What's up?

- Jasper let me ask you something.

- It's a real store.

- Got it.

Do you like soup?!

- Oh-ho-ho. Do I?!

- Well... Do you?

- Yes...

that's why I said "Do I?!"

- Well do you want to try

some of my famous pizza soup?

- Oh-ho-ho!

Do I?! - Just say yes or no.

[ phone rings ]

- Ahh!

- My phone...

I got it.

Hello...

Hello. What?

- Hey, I'm watchin' the show,

but I don't see you and Ray up there yet.

- Yeah, it's...

we're still climbin' up the stairs.

- Ah. So, what floor are you guys on now?

- Uh...

.

- Whoa...

you're not even half-way up yet?!?

- Wh--?!? Yes we are!

We only have like a hundred more floors to go!

- Nooooo-- if you guys are on

then you have more floors to go.

So, you're not half-way yet.

- You know what?! You're just mean.

- Mean? It's just math!

- Yeah well it's mean math--goodbye!

Put the show on, I wanna see what's happening.

- All right. Gimme a sec...

Here we go, the show...

- So to make Pizza Soup,

we pour the pizza sauce in. - Ohhhh yeah!

- Oh man that looks so good! - I know!

C'mon we better get up there

or we're not gonna get any Pizza Soup!

- Yea yea, we gotta keep going!

C'mon Schwoz, let's keep climbing!

Schowz let's keep-- - C'mon you guys!

- Dude where's Schwoz?!?

- He was...

he was with us, he was right there!

- No he wasn't!

Dude I haven't seen Schwoz in like ten minutes!

- Schwoz! - Schwoz!

- Schwoz!

- Schwoz! - Schowz!

- There he is! We got it!

Schwoz what are you doing?

- C'mon man we gotta get up. - What are you doing?!?

- Eh, I think dying.

- You're not dying man. You're not dying.

C'mon we gotta go.

- C'mon we're gonna go meet Morgan Maykew at Junk-N-Stuff!

Don't make it weird Schwoz.

- Come on buddy let's go!

I think I can I think I can!

- Think about Oprah... what would Oprah do huh?

- Let's go! - Come on we're a team!

Don't make it hard for me man!

Team work!

- Team work makes the dream work!

- No man left behind!

Ahh, he's too heavy...

- Right.

- And a little parmesan cheese.

- Ohhh!

- All right, Jasper

tell the folks at home

what you think of my Pizza Soup.

- I love it!!!

- Whoa there, pony--

how 'bout tastin' it first?

- Sure! I'll use the spoon.

- Brilliant.

- Move it! Move!

- Woah! Woah woah! Hey hey hey--

- What?!? Lemme in there!

- Sorry, the store's closed--

we're sh**ting a live TV show.

- I know that! Jasper!

Jasper, let me in!

- Wahhh!

- No! No, I didn't say that.

- Hi Morgan, I'm Piper

and I watch your show all the time!

- Actually, we already picked this young man

to be our special guest today, so--

- So?!? When you went to the White House

you made dinner for the President and his whole family

and Jasper is family to me.

- [ coughing ]

I am?!?

- Well duh!

He's at our house all the time!

Not enough! But a lot!

- Well then, okay I guess.

Uh, if you're hungry, I just made some Pizza S--

- Yeah it smells great! - Careful, it's way hot.

- It's okay, I like the burn.

- Give me some.

- I'll tell you when I'm done.

- Like...like it wasn't bad enough

that Jasper gets to be on the show

and eat all that delicious food?

Now they got some random little brat on there?!?

- That's my little sister!

- Well whoever she is, she's eatin' my soup!

[ phone rings ]

- Yeah what, what's up?

- Hey, did you guys see

that Piper's on the show now?

- Yes we see that Piper's on the show now!

Computer: System update completed.

[ elevator chimes ]

- Oh yay!

The elevator and the tubes are working again.

- Wh--what for real?!?

The elevator and the tubes are fixed?!?

- Yeah! So I'm just gonna head up to--

- 'Kay bye!

- C'mon, let's go!

- Yeah and we better get there before the show's over!

- Last one there's a rotten finger!

- What are you doing?!?

- I'm goin' down! - I'm goin' up!

- What are ya, stupid?! - What are ya stupid?

- Kid, it's stupid to go down!

- Man, it's stupid to go up!

- Henry, listen to me, okay?

Junk-N-Stuff is up there, okay? It's up! Up! Up!

- Yeah I know,

but the elevator's fixed now okay?

And it's downstairs in the Man Cave!

It's down! It's down!

- So?!?

- So, we're going to go downstairs, we're gonna

get in the elevator, and we're gonna go up to Junk-N-Stuff!

Come on let's go!

- Dude, we're on floor number !

So we only have like more to go!

- Yeah but it's way easier to go down than up!

- You fool!

- Oh my god!

- You'd rather go DOWN a floors

than up ?

- Yeah, I would

because it's easier and faster!

- Why?! - 'Cuz gravity!

Yeah, gravity, man! Gravity is our friend!

- Well good luck to you

and your new "gravity girlfriend"

ME?! I'M goin' UP,

and I'll see you in Junk-N-Stuff later,

when I get there before you!

- No! No! Wrong!

- Oh, wrong? Oh yeah? - Wrong!

- I will bet you money you don't make it before me!

I'll bet you a thousand dollars!

- You're on! - Out of my wallet, right now!

- Shh. Wait!

- What? What? - Shhh!

- My school counselor

she taught me a way to stay calm

in a high pressure situation like this.

- Well what is it, tell me.

- Here's what I do: close your eyes...

- Yeah...

- you put your thumbs on your temples...

...and you go LUH LUH LUH LUH

LUH LUH LUH LUH.

You should try it.

Close your eyes.

- LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH--

Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhh!!!

[ panting ]

- Oh Henry!

I knew you would come back for me...

- Hey Schwoz!!!

- I felt so frightened and alone on the

stairs all by myself...

Oh Henry?!?

- Soo good. - Look at that...

- Look at that.

- Hey! - Charlotte!

- Try our sundaes! - They're so good!

- Yea, try 'em!

- Oh...

but shouldn't we wait for--

Okay!

[ panting ]

- Ah! A'haha!

I did it!!! I made it!!!

You lose, Kid!!! A'ha ha ha haaaa!

Come on... this is not happening...

Hey! Hey, can ya hear me?!?

No, c'mon... COME ONNNNNNN!!!

Aw man!

There's no way I can run back down

flights of stairs before Henry...

Hey wait a minute...

I'm indestructible!

A'ha ha haaaa! Yeah!!!

WOOOOO!!!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...

Hey Schwoz!

Ahhhhh!

- Yes! Yes!

I made it!

- Ahhhh!

- Wh...what is that noise...

is that...

- Ahhhhh!

- Oh my God. Is that?

- Ahhh--

- Ray?!?

- Yes!

Yes! Ha ha!

I'm ohhhh-kay!!!

Did you just jump all the way from the top--

- Sorry kid can't talk! Gotta b*at ya upstairs!

- Wh--?!? Raaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!

- So...?

- Door at the top was locked.

- Ha. - Shut up.

- 'Kay.

- So you got any weekend plans, or...

- Uhh...

- Okay, thanks so much for joining me

for another fun and fantastic food-filled feast on...

- The planet Earth!

- Noooo. On...

- Maykew A Meal!

- On Earth!

- Aaaaand we're out.

And that's a wrap!

- Wh...wh...

- The show's over?!? - Yeah.

- What food is left-over?!?

- Is there any food left-over?!?

- We ate it all. - We ate everything.

- Oh, Ray you would've loved the pizza...

- Oh my gosh, too good! - The spaghetti tacos...

- LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH...

- LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH LUH...

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.