[ music ]
[ ding ]
- Happy Fajita Friday, people! [ sizzling ]
- Oooo!
- It's not Friday-- it's Saturday.
- Oh, that would explain why
I was the only one at school today.
- Silence boy!
We're trying to buy tickets to Cactus Con!
- But they don't go on sale until Saturday.
- Think it through.
- Ohhhh! Today's Saturday--
I gotta buy tickets!
Anybody get tickets yet? - No.
- Do you see me tapping?
- I don't understand why everyone loves
this Cactus Convention so much.
- What?!
Tap my phone for me, will ya?
- Uhhh-- - Thanks, little buddy.
- Cactus Con is Swellview's best convention.
It's better than Wallet Con,
Squirrel Con, and Chaka Con.
- You can tap one more, right? - Uh, no. I'm kin--
- Thanks, champ.
- And there's great food there too,
like, cactus milk,
cactus tacos, cactus jerky...
- That all sounds disgusting.
- You're eating fajitas off the floor.
- You want one?
- Yeah, I'll have one.
- I'll take a floor-jita.
- And my sister's the Cactus Queen this year.
- Mhm, and I designed Piper's dress with my friend, Patina.
- Wait, wait, wait. The pretty Patina?
The prettier Patina, or the prettiest Patina?
- Uh, Patina L.
- The prettiest Patina?!
- Hey, tap my phone for me!
- I'm kind of maxed out here... - Thanks, sport!
- I love Patina L! I love her.
Like, I love her.
- Everybody loves Patina L. She's great.
- Have you, like, actually seen her?
Have you been to her house?
- Nah, her house is totally sealed shut.
- Why, does she smell bad?
- No, she's got this crazy--
- Heyyyy-eyyy! Gahhbaahhh!
Less yappin', more tappin'.
- What?! Dude, I am literally tapping
faster than any other human could tap right now.
- You can yap faster than any human can too.
Now, can someone please tell me
what Henry was about to say?
- Patina has this really rare allergy.
- What's she allergic to?
- Air.
- Ha ha ha ha ha. Good one.
No, seriously. What's she allergic to?
- She's allergic to unfiltered air
so she can't go to school in person.
- Yea--see, look.
- She has a nurse who pushes around a video monitor
that shows a live-stream of Patina
from her sealed up house.
- I swear, I do not understand your generation.
- Yeah, the monitor thing is a little weird at first, but--
- We got tickets to Cactus Con!!!
- Yeah baby! - Yes!
- Ha ha! - Woo!
- What?!
- Holy crust, d-did you just do a backflip?!
- Yeah.
- Is no one else impressed by Henry
just doing a backflip?
- It's just a backflip.
- He only did one.
- Yeah, everybody can do a backflip.
- I don't believe you.
Is this real life?
Wait, wait. No, no, no. What?
Are you seeing this?
- Can you not do one, dude? - Hmm?
- Can you not do one, dude?
- Of course I can.
- Okay.
- Well...
I should probably get to Henry's house
for Piper's fitting.
- Is Patina gonna be there?
- Yeah. - Can I come?
You won't even know I'm there.
I'll be totally quiet. Watch.
Mmmmmm.
- If it's cool with Henry.
- Yeah! - Sure.
- I'm going to go eat my Fuhjeeta in the shower.
- See ya later.
- Bye. - Bye.
Okay...
I got this. I got this.
I can do a backflip.
Okay.
Aghhhhh, gah dangit!
Ahhhh...
- Hey I forgot my backpack--
Did you just try to do a backflip?
- No. No. I was just-- I was just on the floor
to get closer to these yummy floor-jitas.
So good. So good.
- Okay... - Yeah.
- Good, 'cuz that would have been embarrassing.
- I know, right...
- Yea, would have lost all respect for you.
- No, that's not what happened.
- Alright. Okay. Alright, yea.
- We're good. We're--Bye!
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick.
- Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles...
and fight crime. Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
[ music ]
- Don't sit there.
- It's my house too, Piper.
I sits where I wants.
Eeep!
- I just meant, because that's where
all the extra cactus needles are.
- I feel that now.
- Also, I'm gonna need those needles back.
- Sure thing.
- Jasper, what are you spraying?
- Air freshener. Cashmere plum.
I want it to smell nice for Patina.
- Who cares how it smells?
Patina's allergic to unfiltered air,
so she won't even be here in person.
- Yeah, she's just gonna be
on that video monitor her nurse pushes around.
- Well what if she asks her nurse
what the room smells like? Hmm?
What then? What then?
- Okay, I think you're getting a little crazy now.
- You're right, you're right.
Alright. I just...
I just need to chill out.
[ doorbell rings ]
She's here! Everyone shut up!
Wait--when I open the door,
everybody laugh like I just said
something really funny, okay?
All right, and... Funny, funny!
- Ahahahaha - Heh, heh...
- Ahahahahaaaaa... Oh hey Patina!
- Hi Jasper.
- Come on in. Come on in.
- Ha ha ha! - Ahahahaah.
- Jasper, you are so funny.
- I love this house.
- Thanks. - Okay.
- Morgan, what does the room smell like?
- It smells like cashmere. And plum.
It's delightful.
- Does this place have a basement?
- Huh? Uh, yeahhh, we--
- Ah. I'll find it.
- You look gorgeous!
- Thank you.
- She was talking to me.
- Hey, is this how
you said you wanted the sash to hang?
- Yes. You nailed it!
Ugh, Piper...
I wish I could see you in that dress
at Cactus Con in person.
- Well well well, then do it!
Then come with me, I'll be your date.
- [ coughing ] Slow down. A bit bold.
- Jasper, I would love to go to Cactus Con with you.
- Keep going. It's working.
- But I can't.
- Ooof...
Dude, you just got curved, hard.
- No! No no no... I didn't mean to curve you.
I just meant I'd go
if I could leave my house,
but I can't.
- Well... what if you could?
- I don't see how that's possible.
I'm allergic to air.
- Mmmmmmmmm....
- Kid Danger!
- What? - Oh god.
- What about Kid Danger?
- He owes me a favor.
- He does?
- Yeah, does he Jasper? I don't--
- Yea, he does.
And he could... he could protect you!
- From allergies?
- No!
I mean...yes.
But I just mean that,
Kid Danger's got all kinds of cool gadgets and stuff.
Right right right right right Henry?!
- How would I know that?
- Uh...
because you're such a big Kid Danger fan.
- Yea, whatever! If I could guarantee
that Kid Danger will keep you safe
will you come to Cactus Con with me?
- "Guarantee" is a strong word...
- Jasper that would be amazing!
But would Kid Danger really do that?
- Of course! - Well...
- He loves me.
- "Love" is a strong word...
- He'll do it!
- Jasper thank you so much!
- Awe, this is just-- this is great.
Great fun for everybody. Hey Jasper,
can I talk to you outside on the porch please?
- Sure! - Cool.
- Mom! I'm going to Cactus Con!
I'm finally gonna get to leave the house!
- You can't go outside!
You're allergic to air!
- Kid Danger is gonna protect me!
- Be home by nine!
- Dude?!
- Brooo. - Dude!
- Bro. - Dude.
- Broooo? - Dude.
- Bro. Bro. Bro. - Dude. Dude. Dude.
- You guys!
Use your words.
- Charlotte, will you please tell Jasper
that he can't volunteer Kid Danger for his personal life.
- Will you please tell Henry that I'm in love!
- Will you please tell Jasper
that we don't have anything in the Man Cave
that can help Patina. - We actually might
have something in the Man Cave that can help Patina.
- Jasper, will you please ask Charlotte
what she's talking about?
[ watch beeps ] Bro.
- Don't bro me.
- Waaaasuuupppp?!
- Wasssuppppp?! - Wasssuuuuuuupppp?!
- C'mon, do it. Do it, do it.
- Waaasssuupppp?!
- You'll get it.
- Hey do we have a three ply, airtight,
hypo-allergenic bubble suit somewhere in the Man Cave?
- What size? - Small.
- Oh yeah we got that.
- Well that was easy.
- So you'll do it?
- Fine.
- Brooooo!
- Dude.
- Hey, you guys wanna see something funny?
- Of course. - Yeah.
- Ray is still trying to do a back-flip.
- Ow!
- He can't do it. - Ha ha! Look at him.
- He can't do a backflip.
- Don't look at me! - He can't do it.
[ music ]
- Hear me, hear me!
- As your cactus queen,
I declare the Swellview Cactus Convention...
open!!
- You have to tap your staff on the ground...
my queen.
- Open!
- You just... it's just a backflip, you know?
You just do it. You just flip. Backwards.
- Yes, but how?
- It's like trying to explain to somebody
how to walk. You know what I mean?
Just right foot, left foot, repeat.
- Backflipping is not the same as walking.
- Yeah, but equally as easy.
- No they are not!
- Well maybe not for you, but for most people it is--
- Uh, you guys?
- Hey what's up, Char? - What's going on?
- Maybe since you guys don't know each other,
you shouldn't be talking...
Ray and Kid Danger.
- Yea dude, she's right.
- Right, scatter. Scatter.
Ow! What the butt?
- Haha, dude, you just bumped
into the World's Most Poisonous Cactus.
- How do you know that?
- 'Cuz there's a sign that says it right there...
"World's Most Poisonous Cactus.
Don't bump into it."
- Oh. Well, someone should be guarding this thing.
- Hey hey hey, be careful with that.
That there's the world's most poisonous cactus.
There's only one in the whole world.
And we got it!
- So, don't you think you should be guarding it?
- I was on an ice cream break.
- Didn't this place just open?
- Yup! I got the first ice-cream cone.
Oooh, balloons...
- Whoa! Careful, there.
Uh, here...
Why don't you play with this nonpoisonous cactus?
Run along now.
That's nice to see.
- Wow!
I can't believe I'm outside of my house.
Everything looks so... so real.
- Yeah.
Plus you finally got away from that weird nurse.
- I'm right here.
- Hi. Sorry.
- Don't be. I'm weird.
You think this place has a basement?
- Uhhhh... - I'm not sure.
- If it does... I'll find it.
- Hey.
You must be Patina.
Nice to meet you. For the first time ever.
- Nice to meet you.
- Dude. - Bro.
- This suit is amazing. Thank you so much.
- Mmmm, anything for this guy.
- Awe.
- So why do you owe Jasper a favor?
What did he do for you?
- Uh, yeah, Jasper.
Why do I owe you a favor?
- I dunno.
- Ohh ohh!
Ring toss on a cactus.
Will you go win me a prize?
- Okay... I'll try...
[ phone rings ]
- Hey Schwoz, what's up?
- Hold for Ray... Ray?
- Waaassssppp?! - Wassssupppp?!
- Waasssuup is that the Man Cave got hacked!
- What?! - I thought you said
the Man Cave computer was un-hackable.
- I thought it was, but someone did it
and now every computer in the Man Cave
has the same message on the screen.
- What's it say?
- It just says, "Game On"
over and over.
- "Game on?"
What does that mean?
- I don't know.
[ phones alerting ]
- You guys get this text?
- Yea. "Hello Swellview..."
- "I will pay one million dollars..."
- "...to whomever can bring me..."
- "...the World's Most Poisonous Cactus."
- "Sincerely, RT."
- Who's RT?
- Randy Tinklemuffin?
- Who?
- Nah, it can't be Randy Tinklemuffin.
He's in jail.
Don't even know why I thought of that.
- Wait, is that really his name?
- Yea. - What?!
- Yea. I think it's short for Randolph.
- That's crazy.
- Uh... guys? - Hmm?
- You have bigger problems.
- Uhhhh, Dude?
- Bro.
[ chattering ]
- Okay! Okay! Everybody calm down.
Everybody calm down!
- What? - Relax!
Now, I know that
you all want that million dollars,
some mystery person promised for that cactus.
[ chattering ]
- I don't like the look of that angry mob.
- Yeah there's a lot of cacti here
and if this bubble suit breaks,
I'm in real trouble.
- In hindsight,
bringing you to a cactus convention
was a terrible idea.
- But, Kid Danger's gonna protect me though, right?
- No. I am.
Owwww!
- Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!
Kid Danger's right! - Thank you.
- This cactus is worth a lot of money!
Now let's get it!
- Uh-oh!!
Daddy wants the big piece of chicken tonight!!
- Man. Sure would be nice
to have Captain Man here right about now.
- I know, right? He's the best.
- Think it through.
- Oh yea, right!
- What's everyone waiting for?
- He's got a zappy thingy!
- Yeah, but there's a lot of us
and only one of him!
- Wrong! There's two of him.
Us. Shut up.
- Come at me, bros.
[ laser blasts ]
- There's too many people here.
I can't transform without a place to hide!
- Go like this.
- What are we doing here...
Get back there. - What is gained by this?
- I'm smarter than you, go. - Ahhhhhhh. Okay.
[ bubble inflates ]
Okay, I'll go help Henry.
You take this zapper.
Now...Let me Captainman 'splain to you
how that works.
- Oh good, you know.
- Ow!
- Throw more!
Cactuses are his weakness!
- Ah, geez.
OW! OW! OWWWW!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
- AYYYYYYYYAYAYA!
- Look! There's only one of him again!
- Wrong! There's two of him.
Us. Shut up.
- Dude, that cactus is worth a million bucks.
You're standing between me and buyin' a moose.
Now come on! They can't stop all of us!
Mama wants a moose!
- Where did you get those?
- Owwww!
- Sorry!
- Eahhhh...
[ whimpering ]
- Jasper...
you were amazing.
And I'd hug you, but those needles
would puncture my suit.
- I get it.
- Here, Captain Man.
You, uh, dropped this during the fight.
- Oh, thanks, girl I don't know.
- We did it.
- Yes we did.
We saved the citizens of Swellview once again.
[ citizens groaning ]
- Victory dance!
- Hey! Yeah yeah! Do a back flip!
- What? I dunno, man!
- Don't even think about it, just do it!
- You think I can do it?! - I know you can do it!
- Yea, okay I'm flippin'! Here I go!
- Hey! He did it.
- Did you see that? - I told you.
[ air escaping ]
- Uh-oh.
- Patina! Your suit!
- Forget the suit! What about my tongue?
- Could someone take me to the hospital?
- Yea, I got you...
- Nice sh*t, "bro."
- Yeah, but that backflip though...
- Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow...
- Good job. - Thanks.
Hey, good work with that laser.
- Thanks, I really enjoy zapping people.
- And we saved the world's most poisonous...
...cactus is gone.
- What's it say?
- "Thanks for the cactus.
Game On."
- Oohhhhh! Oh no!
This is bad. This is very very bad.
05x04 - The Great Cactus Con
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.