- Sssssssssso... whatcha readin'?
- It's this really interesting article about how annoying it is
when someone reads over your shoulder.
- Oh yeah yeah yeah hate those people
oh real quick click on that link right there --
"Ten Celebrities You Didn't Know Were Double Jointed."
Oh, like how do they know that?
- You're being those people right now.
- Henry! Swellview needs us!
- What's going on? - No time to explain!
- Let's chew with urgency...
- I don't know the emergency.
- Good one. - Thank you.
- Ohhhhhhhhh nooooo...
- This--is this the emergency?
You want to show me your new cape?
- No... I want to show you our new capes.
- What?! - Yeah.
- Dude, what is this? What is this? This isn't a cape.
Wha-- are you kidding me?
- I am one hundred percent serious.
- What are you? Why? Dude, there's not point...
- I've made up my mind about this, Henry.
- You don't need a cape if you don't fly.
- You don't have to fly to have a cape you just need to own it.
- WHY IS MINE SO MUCH SMALLER THAN YOURS?!
- Yours is smaller because you're a sidekick.
And I'm the hero.
- I don't want a stupid tiny cape, dude!
- Well maybe we can come up with a system where
you could earn extra inches for your cape by doing things
like being a good listener, or maybe making me a nice pie.
- JUST GET THIS THING OFF ME, DUDE!
- I found the fan you wanted.
- Oooh! Prepare to be blown away...
Aw, this is going to be good. You're gonna want to
get your phone out. - I'm not going to do that.
- Oh do you have a slow-mo setting? - No I don't.
- You're gonna want to take a picture of this --
it's gonna be the best thing ever.
Do you love it?!
- No!
- I am currently loving it!
- Charlotte loves it!
- She can have mine! - I'm good.
- Emergency call. Ahh!
Schwoz turn it off!
- Hey, Vice-Mayor. What's up?
- I need you at City Hall now!
- Could you ask politely?
Or maybe notice my cape?
- Oh. It looks great.
- Thank you. - Good for you, dude.
- And your tiny cape is adorable, Kid Danger.
- It's not-- I don't want to be adorable, okay.
I'm a man. - Well...
- Now get your butts down to City Hall.
I'm the Vice-Mayor, not the say-it-thrice-mayor.
So that's the last time I'm going to say it.
- You heard what he said we should do with our butts.
Let's go! - Alright just give me a second.
- What are you doing?! That cape was a gift.
- Relax, I'm going with you.
- But what about your ca-- - Up the tubes!
CAPTAIN MAN: Awwww, m'cape!
- You never should have stolen that baby elephant.
- It followed me home!
- Tell it to the judge, baby girl.
- I did! She didn't believe me.
- Too bad so sad.
Now listen... I gotta drive to Neighborville
and rent a dump truck.
- Why? - That's my business.
Your business is using this stick
to fill that bag with trash -- here.
As soon as it reaches the tippy-top,
you're done with your community service.
- Can I pay someone to do it for me?
[ laughs ]
- Okay, okay... I'll do it.
- Funny, funny.
- You can stop laughing now!
[ Officer Walnut's laugh continues ]
- Full bag of trash, huh?
Aaaaannnd... done.
[ music ]
Ah!
- Coast is clear.
- Did you actually check to make sure the coast is clear?
Or did you just say that?
- It's Stank Street, man. No one's ever here.
Besides, "coast is clear" is just one of those things that people say like,
"Look both ways" or "Stay in school."
- By the way, dude, why'd you tube us out at Stank Street?
There's tons of other exits in Swellview that don't stank.
- It's the one closest to City Hall.
Besides, it's near the store that sells... things.
- What, capes? - I dunno...
- What's the place called? - "Nothing But Capes."
- You're a child.
- Who will soon have a cape.
- You're an enormous child. - Whee!
- We're not wearing capes!
[ gasps ]
- Hello?
Ahhh!
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick. - Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.
Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
[ music ]
- Aaaahhhhh, my face!
- Oo, whopsies. - Sorry, dude.
- Is it bad?
- Nahhh.
- Did you use to have two eyebrows?
- I think so.
- So, why'd the Vice-Mayor need you guys at City Hall?
- Somebody stole a package off his front porch.
- Yeah. A Box full of neckties
with his face on it or something.
- Annnnny-Ray, we told him we'd get riiight on it.
Pfft. - Okay!
- Doesn't sound like you're gettin' right on it.
- It's not worth our time. We're superheroes.
We don't care about some package thief.
- I don't care about thieves! I don't even know. Who cares.
[ Henry's phone beeps ]
- Whatcha got there, fella? Little text?
- Yeah it's from my mom. - Nice.
- Stop.
She says that uh, her new hairdryer
was supposed to get delivered today
but it was stolen off the front porch.
- Saddle up and ride, Henry!
There's a thief needs killin'.
- Whoa! - Would have eaten those.
- That was very aggressive. - Ah, I'll probably still eat it.
- This is no time for greasy, delicious chicken!
There's a crime wave and it just hit Henry's mom!
Now we're gonna find this package thief
and we're going to ruin his life.
- Okay, just relax, dude.
- I'm going to hurt him until he cries
and then I'm going to collect his tears, boil them down,
and use their essence to make a high-end cologne called
"Not On My Watch."
- Whoa. - Maybe a little too far.
- Great name. - What's our first move?
- I'm not done.
Then I'm going to cover him in honey,
roll him down a hill of fire ants,
fire ants that sh**t lasers out of their butts.
- Orrrrr... or... - That's when things get real crazy.
- or... or we put a fake package on my front porch as bait.
We wait in the Surveillance Van
until the thief steals it.
And once he does we grab him, we take him to jail.
- Okay, love that -- you just earned two inches on your cape, buddy.
- Wait, what? I don't want--
- Two inches to Kid Danger's cape!
- Okay, you know what? Let's just go.
- Ahhh!!
Is it bad?
[ music ]
- Crawl through some tubes... see where they go...
have a few laughs...
- Alright.
I put the bait on my porch.
- Noice...
- What'd you put in the package, anyway?
- Let's just say that when the thief opens it,
he's gonna be a "glitter" bit "glittered" from the "package"
on your "porch," which contains a "glitter b*mb,"
if you "know what I mean."
- So... it's a glitter b*mb?
- "Yes."
- What is "wrong with you?"
- Oooh! Mah'milk is done!
One for meeee, and another for theeeee...
- What do we got here?
- Warm milk. Full fat, just like mother nature intended.
- Ah. Why?
- We got a long night ahead of us, pal.
If we're gonna stay awake the whole time
we gotta get comfortable.
We gotta get calm...
we gotta rock out to the sounds of the ocean,
breaking gently against the moonlit beach.
- Ohhhh yeahhh...
- Oh yeah. Drink up, buddy.
It's gonna be a long night.
Clink...
- then we drink.
Ahh!
- Woo!
[ "Morning" from Peer Gynt by Edvard Grieg ]
CHARLOTTE: Man Cave to Surveillance Van,
Man Cave to Surveillance Van...
Ray? Henry?
Can you hear me?
- Five more minutes, Mom...
- Come back here, Henry's mom...
- HELLO?!
We haven't heard from you in ten hours.
- Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude...
- What? - What?
- Dude, dude... - What? What?
- Dude, dude... - We fell asleep.
I think we fell asleep! - You fell asleep?!
- So did you!
- Prove it. - I just woke you up.
- Hey where'd your mom go -- she was just here.
- What?
- Man Cave to the Surveillance Van,
Man Cave to the Surveillance Van... can you hear me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, we hear you loud and clear.
- Did you guys fall asleep?
- NO! No, no, no, no, no we did not.
- Yes you did.
- We didn't fall asleep. We were just resting our eyes.
- Okay, well if you didn't fall asleep
then what's the status of the package?
- Uh the package... yup. Let me see.
The package, uhh, i-i-s-s gone.
[ Schwoz laughs ]
- Shut up, Schwoz!
[ Ray's phone rings ]
- Hello?
[ From Ray's phone Schwoz continues laughing ]
- Ahh! How could we fall asleep?!
- How could we let that guy take the package
right out from under us?!
- I am so angry! - So am I!
- I'm angrier! - That is a lie!
Because I am the angriest!
- No! I am King Angor! Ruler of Mount Furious!
- Yeah? Well I am Rage! Vengeful God of Anger!
- Well I am Charlotte, queen of are you guys done being angry?
- Does it SOUND like we are?!
Does it sound like we are, Charlotte?
- Can't you see us stomping?!
- Well I only ask because I'm done making another bait package
to put on Henry's porch. - What?
- Well THANK you!
- That's actually incredibly helpful!
- This package is too heavy, Charlotte!
- Why's it so heavy, Charlotte?!
- Because I put Jasper inside.
JASPER: Hey guys! I've got a taser in here!
[ buzzing sound from inside box ]
Ow!... It works.
- That way he can jump out and tase the package thief
in case you two fall asleep again.
- Fall asleep?! FALL ASLEEP?!
- We're gonna fall asleep two time. Okay, Charlotte.
King Angor does not sleep! He stomps!
- How could we possibly fall asleep when we are this ANGRY?!
[ heavy metal version of "Morning" from Peer Gynt by Edvard Grieg ]
- I'm awake! I'm awake.
- What? Hmm?
- I think we fell asleep again, dude.
- Wow. All that anger really wiped us out.
- Yeah.
- Hey, check to see if the package is still there.
- Oh right.
The package... is...
still there! - Yes! Yes!
Man, we're are so good at this.
[ van door opens ]
- Ohhhh! - Owwww shut the door, dude.
- Hey, I've got a delivery for two awesome dudes in a van?
- That's us. - Whazzzzzzup...
- You came to the right van, my friend.
- Wanna stay a while?
- No. - Okay.
- There it is. - Suit yourself.
- There you go. - Okay.
- Shut that door on your way out.
- I like that guy. - Yeah he seemed chill.
- What's in the package?
- About to open it right now.
- Was that our glitter b*mb?
- The one that got stolen yesterday?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- So that was the... - Package thief?
Yeah. - Yeah.
I am angry! - I am also angry!
I no longer like that guy! - Yeah that guy was not chill!
- Maybe I should turn around.
Or I'll just keep going.
[ music ]
- Oh, hey, have you heard anything from Ray and Henry
because I haven't and I'm starting to get a litt--
- No greenie yes peenchie!
- OW! What the heck, Schwoz!
- It's Avocado Day. - What?!
- Avocado Day.
If you're not wearing green you get peenched on your skeen.
- No! That's St. Patrick's Day!
- What the heck is Saaaayint Paaaaaytreeeck's Daaaay?
- You will never guess what happened to us!
- You fell asleep again, then the package thief delivered
the glitter b*mb to the Surveillance Van
and you opened it without realizing what it was
and now you look like a unicorn pooped on you?
- N-n-no... - Maybe.
- We also saw a dog.
- Why do you always have to be so smart all the time?
- No greenie yes peenchie!
- Ow!
Is it Avocado Day? - Yeah.
- Man, I forget it every year.
- Okay, what is Avocado Da-- - No green-y, yes pinchy.
- Ow! What the heck, Ray?!
- It's Avocado Day. You're not wearing green.
So you get pinched.
- But that's St. Patrick's Day.
- Stop making up fake holidays!
We gotta find a way to stop this package thief.
- You're right, you're right...
- Step one, stop falling asleep.
[ sneezes loudly ]
- Ewwww!
- Now... in order to catch a package thief,
we've got to think like a package thief...
- We start stealing the packages ourselves!
- Okay, love that! Gas up the van,
warm up some milk and let's roll.
- Uh...guys, I had an idea.
RAY: Wait! - What's up big dog?
- I got a better idea. - Listening.
- We go down to the Man Cave, we get Schwoz's pot of gold...
- I'm sorry what?
- We get Schwoz's pot of gold,
we leave it outside the store as bait--
- Schwoz has a pot of gold?
- Pfft. A pot of gold?!
I'm not a leprechaun. Why would I have a pot of gold.
- He does though.
- You can't have my pot of gold!
- We'll get it...
- I said I have an idea.
- Okay, so we get Schwoz's pot of gold,
maybe run some electrical wires through it...
- We warm up some milk, wait for the package thief show up...
- Do some meditation, get in that zo-oone
you know what I mean!
- Listen to songs of the Humpback Whale.
[ imitates whale sounds ]
- Okay! Okay. Okay.
- You guys! I put an ad online yesterday
that says Junk-N-Stuff buys things now.
- So?
- So... the ad said that we'll buy stuff, pay cash,
and not ask where they got it from.
- Uhh, I did not authorize that
so I will subtract the cost of the ad from your paycheck.
- Tough break, Char.
- Uha, no, no. I thought that maybe--
- Come on, kid. Let's towel off this glitter,
take a quick power nap,
and steal Schwoz's pot of gold.
- Good call, I am so tired...
- I know right. Must be from all that sleeping.
- You'll never get me pot of gold!
- Yes we will! - Yes we will. Right after our nap!
- Hi! Can I help you?
- Yeah, I saw your ad online.
- Oh, did you? - Yeah. Said you'll buy stuff,
pay cash, not ask where it came from?
- That is what the ad said.
Whatcha lookin' to sell?
- Uhh... I've got a bunch of neckties
with the Vice-Mayor's face on 'em. You interested?
- I am very interested in those. Got anything else?
- I've got season two of Will & Grace on Blu-Ray...
- That's a good season. - It's a great season.
I've also got this hairdryer specially made for hot moms...
- That--that is fantastic stuff. Where'd you get it?
- The ad said you wouldn't ask where it came from...
but whatever, I stole it.
- Oh. Wow. And nobody tried to stop you?
- Well, there was this old guy and his son
in a van trying to catch me.
- Old guy?!
- Oh, yeah. There you are.
You like that glitter b*mb, old man? EUH!!
What's goin' on?
W-w-why's she heading toward the back?
Why's he locking the door?
- Say, friend, I couldn't help but notice...
you're not wearing green.
- And it's Avocado Day.
I guess.
- Oh god...
BRANDON: Ow!! Stop! Help! Stop pinching me!
That hurts! Just take the hair dryer!
Why are you collecting my tears?!
Where did those ants come from?!
- Man! How crazy was it that that package thief guy
just happened to walk into Junk-N-Stuff, right?
- Uh, he walked in because I put an ad online.
- I've said it before and I'll say it again, dude.
Luck is a skill.
- Yeah well lucky for us we got that skill.
- I know what you're saying, dude.
- Put it there. - Okay.
- Put it there, partner. - Alright.
- Well good luck getting the glitter out of your own hair.
HENRY: What's her deal?
- Uh, she gets like this every Avocado Day.
- Well, who's gonna blow the glitter out of our hair now?
- Ooh, I got an idea.
- Sweet, dude, I'll warm up some milk.
- No, no, no, no. We can't nap our way out of this one, pal.
Check it out. Pop a gumball,
transform into Captain Man and Kid Danger, and poof,
all the glitter is gone.
- Ah, question: do you ever get tired of being so awesome?
- I never get tired. Except for the last two days,
where I've kept on sleep over and over again.
- Right, right, right. Alright, let's pop some gum
and get this glitter outta my bum.
- Popping.
[ Henry's phone rings ]
- Pause. - Pausing.
- Sup, papa? - Hey, happy Avocado Day.
I'm looking for Piper.
- Uhh, when was the last time you saw her?
- Been a couple of days.
And according to this parenting book I've been reading,
I should be worried.
- Wasn't she picking up trash for community service?
- Ah! We'll go with that.
- Yeah. Anything else? I gotta go.
- Yeah. There's a really big package on the front porch.
Did you order something?
- Umm, I don't think sooo...
ooohh no we forgot about Jasper, dude!
He's still in the box on my porch!
- Uh.
- I'll just open it. - No no no no, don't open it!
- Take that, Package Thief!
- G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g!
- Oh my god. The Package Thief was Henry's dad!
- What'd your dad say? Anything important?
- Not really. Jasper tased him.
Piper's missing. Let's get this glitter off.
Unpause. - Unpausing.
- Aahh!
Henry?
[ suspenseful music ]
Ahhhh!
05x21 - Sister Twister Part 1
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.