[ music ]
- six...seven... eight -- again!
One... two... you can do it...
I know it's hard, but don't give up!
- We just started, like, five minutes ago.
- You've got to push through the pain!
- Nothing about this is painful.
Except for watching you. - Yeah.
- Life begins where your comfort zone ends!
- Are you even listening to us?
- Teach a man to fish and he'll ski for a lifetime!
- Alright, he's lost it. - I'll get the oxygen.
- No, no, no, there's no room for oxygen breaks
in Scwhozzercise!
- You've taken two oxygen breaks already.
- And I hate myself for it!
Ohhhhh thank you, baby girl.
- Don't ever call me that.
- What's with her, baby boy?
- No idea, big poppa.
- What was that?
[ elevator dings ]
- Henry?! Henry, I need to find Henry!
Right now! I need to find him! Henry!
Where are you?! Henry?! Henry?!
Henry!! Where are you?!
- You guys saw her too, right?
- Yes I did. - Yeah, kinda hard to that.
- Do you guys know who that is? - She might be new?
- Cuz' I have no idea who that woman is.
- I feel like I should have said something.
- She reminds me of Jasper's mom.
- Right!! - Yeah she definitely does.
- Oh, but like prettier and more normal.
- Someone tell me where Henry is!!!
It's very important that I find him!
Hello? Am I talking to myself?!
I gotta tell him that-- Hi, Charlotte.
Did he go up the tubes?! - Whoa whoa whoa,
- Fine, don't say anything I'll check myse--
- Wait a second, wait wait, you cannot use the tubes-- Ahhh!!!
- Looks like she's been Scwhozzercising.
- Where. Is. Henry?
- You lost it. - No I didn't.
- Yes you did, okay. Only me and you use it,
so if I didn't lose it then you lost --
I found it! - Nice!
Why do they make Pear TV remotes so small?
- I don't know, but let's just put the cushions back where we had them,
and what in the heck, I honestly just lost it again.
- Are you kidding me?!
- I was literally, I was standing here and it was,
it was in my hands and it disappeared.
- See you in a week!
- Alright later! - See you.
- Wait -- what's going on? - Where are you going?
- Where's mom? - Yeah, where's mom?
- Why are you dressed like that? - Is that my new suitcase?
- Where's mom? - Are those my shorts?
- Where's mom?
- Whoa, that is a lotta questions.
And I would answer them all if I weren't late for Fayke Fest.
[ gasps ]
- You got tickets to Fayke Fest?!
- What's Fayke Fest?
- It's a music festival on a tropical island
once owned by Mob Boss Rob Moss.
Be back in a week!
- What. Whoa, whoa, whoa...
you can't just leave us here for a week!
- Yeah, can't we come with you?
- Sorry. We could only afford two tickets.
Also, the Fayke Festival has a strict "no nerds" policy.
- Ohhhh, so Henry can't go. - What?!
- That's right. You're a nerd, son.
- I'm not a nerd. I've have two friends
and as I say that I realize that's number isn't very high.
- If you're not a nerd then prove it.
Have a giant party while I'm gone.
- Wait -- you want me to have a party while you're gone?
[ sighs ] - Look, Henry. Part of being a teenager
is having wild parties when your parents are out of town,
doing sick stuff with your bro-bros,
and then getting in lotsa trouble
when your mom and I come home earlier than expected.
- Yeah, where is mom?
- I'm leaving for a week and I want you to have a raging party
or you are grounded. Do you understand me, young man?
- I'll help him throw the party.
- Thank you, my cool child.
- Are you serious?!
- I'm off to Fayke Fest.
Catch me on the Twits -- hashtag FaykeJake.
Fayke spelled the fake way, Jake spelled the Jake way.
Later, toadz!
- I'm not a nerd.
- You want me to invite some of my friends to the party?
- Yes, please.
[ text message pings ]
Uh... I gotta go. - Where?
- There's a oven on at the zoo, so I'm just gonna turn that off.
- You don't have to lie anymore. I know you're Kid Danger.
- Oh, yeah. Emergency at the Man Cave.
Gotta go. - Can I come?
- Sorry, nerds only. Later toad.
[ music ]
- Ahhh! Come on!
- Dude what is--? Are you okay?
- No, I'm stuck!
- What happened?
- Okay, you know how I get up every morning
before dawn to go fishing?
- No. - Well starting today I do.
And I was pullin' some crappie out of the crick
when I got triple-beeped.
- Yeah, me too! What's the emergency?
- I don't know. I was trying to get down to the Man Cave
when my Man Pole, and my Man Line,
and my Man Lures all got caught in this stupid curtain.
I'm stuuuuuck!
- We don't have time for this, there's an emergency.
- Then help me! - I'm trying!
- Get me outa this thing! - Alright, just let's go.
- M'crappies! - Dude, stop messing around!
- Do I look like I'm trying to mess around?!
- Yes.
- Come on!
Come on!!!
Hey, you should come fishing with me some time, buddy.
- I'm good.
- Where is Henry?!
- Whoa whoa whoa whoa what is going on here?!
- Yeah, Schwoz, are you wearing my unitard?!
- It's one size fits all...
- I wasn't talking about the unitard...
I was talking about who's this crazy old lady.
- Henry! Thank god you're here.
- Ha ha ha. Yeah.
Hey, who are you? How do you know my name?
- Watch out she's dangerous!
- Okay, don't come any closer, lady!
We don't wanna hurt you.
- Hey, I'm not done with-- Yeeee!
- We also don't wanna be hurt by you.
- I wouldn't hurt you. I'm your sister.
- What? - It's me. Piper.
- What? - From the future.
- Whaaaaaaat? - What?
- It all just kinda happened.
I wanted an after-school job.
But then, an indestructible superhero
hired me to be his sidekick. - Ah!
- Now we blow bubbles... and fight crime.
Feels good.
[ theme music ]
- Call it. - Up the tube!
- Aw, my boot! - Ha!
[ music ]
- Henry... my brother...
it is so good to see you again...
- Yeah. Is there no soap in the future?
Because your hands are kinda dirty.
- Oh, it's not dirt, it's cyborg-robot blood oil.
- Okay, alright, let's put our hands in our pockets
and never touch anything ever again.
- In the future there are no pockets.
[ gasps ]
- No pockets?!
- The future sounds terrible.
- Pft! She's not from the future.
She's just some crazy lady who wandered in here,
probably looking for turkey jerky.
- I am from the future! But seriously,
do you have any turkey jerky because I would love some.
- Here. Go nuts, Frizzy McGuire.
See?
- In the future, the only food the robots give us
is tasteless vitamin paste.
- Well here in the present, you can't know about me or Henry
or the Man Cave, so Schwoz, go get the memory wiper please.
- On it!
- We're running out of time! Piper is in great danger!
We need to leave now and help her!
- Why? - Yeah, why is Piper in danger?
- You're seriously buying her story?
- Well, you and Henry have traveled through time before,
so we know that time travel is possible.
- It's true, dude! - Ahhh!
- We need to leave now.
Take me to your house -- to our house.
The house where we grew up.
- If you really teleported here from the future,
why didn't you go straight there? Hmm?
- Ooooh! Good one, Jasper! - Thank you.
- Because what is coming for Piper...
for me... I can't face it alone.
I need help.
- You certainly do. Professional help.
And right now you've got an appointment with Doctor Fist!
Ahhh! Uhh!
Okay... you're starting to bug me
about as much as Henry's real little sister does.
- I am Henry's real little sister!
And we have to leave now.
- Well maybe if you told us why something's coming for Piper,
Ray would have an easier time believing you.
- Because in the future I lead a rebel army
against the robots that enslave humanity.
The robots can't get to me in the future,
so they're going to send a terrible machine
to destroy me -- Piper -- in the past.
It's coming today!
- This sounds pretty bad, dude...
- It sounds like this lady has watched Terminator too many times.
- What's the Terminator? - Wow!
Uh, it's a really old movie
where all this same stuff happens.
- Yes! The Terminator!
That movie gave the robots the idea to enslave us all.
That and The Matrix.
And the sad first scene of "Finding Nemo" where--
- No no no! - We're not gonna talk about that.
Look, dude, maybe we should just go to be safe.
- You wanna be safe? We take this lady to a looney bin.
- We need to leave now!
- Listen. If she's telling the truth, then you just got flipped
by the future leader of the human resistance.
If she's crazy, then you just got b*at up
by some crazy lady who likes turkey jerky.
- Got any more?
- Second time's the charm -- let's dance Crazy Susan!
Aw man, who taught you how to fight?!
- You did. In the future.
- Okay, that checks out.
[ music ]
- Piper?! Piper?! Are you okay?
- We're too late! - Piper?!
- Don't you see?! It's over!
The robot destroyed her! - Noooo!
- Oh no!
Relax... if the "robot" got to your sister
then according to time travel rules
Loony Gaga here would suddenly disappear.
She's here, your dumb sister's probably fine.
- Yeah, well the rules of time travel change every time we do it, dude!
- And if the robot didn't trash this place, who did?
- That would be me.
- Piper! Yeah wait. What are you doing?
- Well I called my friends
but none of them wanted to come to your nerd party.
So I'm trashing the place so that when dad gets back
he'll think you threw one.
- Can you call them back and tell them it's a cool party.
- They know you. Won't work.
Hey, who's this, your mom?
- No, she's not my mom!
- Your girlfriend?
- I'll tell you who she is... she's y-- ahhhh!
Get her off! Get her off!
- Your hand was on my mouth your gross hand was on my mouth...
I can taste the robot blood...
- What's your beezer, geezer?
- My beezer is you can't tell Piper who I am
or anything about me.
- Why not? - Because look at me!
If Piper finds out that she ends up looking like this
she'll never want to lead the human rebel army.
And then the robots will win!
- Mm. Question: is everyone in "the future" a sucker?
- C'mon, man... - No, you come on.
We're supposed to believe this big bucket a crappie?!
- I don't know man. - Your sister's fine!
She's crazy. Let's take her to the hospital and--
- Ahhhh! There it is! - Huh?
- Stay back! - What?
- It's here to destroy Piper! - What is?
- Him? - This little guy?
- Yes! The robots disguise themselves as kids
so people won't think they're a thr*at!
- Okay, why don't you hit the showers, pig pen,
I'll handle this.
'Cuz I've got a pretty good sense for danger
and this little fella wouldn't hurt a--
Flyyyyyy!
- IT'S REAL! - I told you.
- EVERYTHING YOU SAID IS REAL! - I told you!
- Okay. - We have to protect Piper at all costs!
- I'm gonna protect her from inside.
FUTURE PIPER: Thanks a lot, bro!
- What is going on?!
- What makes you think something's going on?
- Ahhhh!!!!
Okay. I'm starting to think that crazy old lady
might be telling the truth.
- Someone better tell me what the heck is going on right now.
- Okay, don't freak out but there is a robot outside
who is here to destroy you. - What?!
- See, I just told you not to freak out.
- But don't worry. We will protect you.
[ high pitched screams ]
- I feel so safe.
- Ow!
- Okay. Okay. You may have gotten the drop on me before
but that's just because I wasn't expecting--
- Ah ah ahhh!!
- AHHHHHH WHAT THE BUTT?!
- It's okay. It's okay. I got this...
Heyy, buddy. I'm gonna need you to stop.
Just gonna need you to stop moving.
Red light. You have to stop if I say red light
that's -- that's the rules of the game.
Still... still walking. - Relax.
I speak fluent robot...
Adios roboto.
- That's just Spanish. - Huh.
- Seems like you just made him angrier.
- Yeah.
- Let's see how he feels about this.
- Ah ahhh!!
Did I get him? Who'd I land on?
- Your girlfriend.
- Not my girlfriend. But we'll discuss that later.
Right now... I've got boy problems.
And this time, I'm gonna keep a safe distance--
Wow. I'm not even mad--
[ crashes through the ceiling ]
[ suspenseful music ]
[ w*apon powers on ]
- Get away from my sister, you--
- Where'd he go?!
- Not where did he go. When did he go?
- Uh... just now?
- The robots can jump through time whenever they want.
- What? - Of course they can...okay.
- He jumped forward in time to avoid getting blasted.
He'll be back any minute. We have to leave!
- Who is this lady?! - I need absolute silence.
- Could someone tell me-- could someone tell me--
- I need absolute silence.
Hey, Schwoz, long story turns out that everything
that that crazy lady from the future said is true.
- You're from the future?! - He needs absolute silence.
- Some crazy-strong robot kid from the future showed up to my house
and threw Ray through the roof a bunch of times.
Yeah, it was pretty funny.
But listen, this kid can like warp through time, so...
- Hey, your boss hasn't come back down yet,
how high did that robot-kid throw him?
- I know, it was pretty funny.
Got it. Okay. Schwoz says he can whip up a time trap
if we lure this kid to the Man Cave.
- Well how do we do that?!
- We're gonna use Piper as bait.
- Yeah! - No!
[ screaming ]
- Hey, robot, here's my sister
we'll be in the Man Cave byyyyyyeeeee!
RAY: Ahhh!!
Ow!
You guys that robot kid just threw me into space!
And I was wrong! The Earth is definitely round!
[ music ]
- Jasper, I think I hear them coming -- get out here!
JASPER: I'm trying...
It's really hard to walk in ski boots.
- Then take them off.
- I'm not going to fight an angry robot kid from the future
in bare feet, Charlotte. Think!
- Okay, first of all don't ever tell me to think--
- This way! - Why is it after me?!
- I warned you! - Yeah, but you sounded crazy.
- You still sound crazy.
- What are you doing?! - I'm locking the door!
- Why? We need the robot to follow us into the Man Cave!
- Yeah, we're gonna use Piper as bait!
- I don't want to be bait!
- Okay, well no one ever wants to be bait.
- Schwoz needs a few more minutes to set up the time trap.
So we came up here to try and slow down the robot.
- Is he even out there? - Yes, he's out there!
- I don't see him. - I don't know.
- He was right behind us.
- AAAHHH!!!
- PIPER QUIT SCREAMING -- WE'RE TRYING TO LOOK FOR THE ROBOT BOY!
Gawd. - He's right there!
- What? - Aahhh!!
- Go go go go! - Water beats robot!
Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Yeaaaaaaa... aaa...
aaa... oooooooh.
Guess future robots are waterproof.
Smart.
JASPER: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon...
[ Jasper continues screaming ]
- Hey! Aren't you coming?
- No. I'm gonna stay here and try to buy Schwoz some more time.
It's not gonna be easy.
That robot kid can't be reasoned with.
It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear.
- Okay, thanks byeeeee! - Yeah sure good luck.
[ winds up handheld device ]
- Ooooh! What's that?
[ dance music ]
- What's happening?!
- I can't stop dancing!
- Henry! We couldn't stop him!
- He's forcing us to dance! It's actually pretty fun!
- It's really fun!
- Hand me the nebulizer rod.
- What's a nebulizer rod?!
- Just hand me anything I'll make it work!
- That thing's on its way, how much more time do you need
to make the time trap, Schwoz? - Another minute, at least!
[ elevator dings ]
- No problem...
Ahhh!
Okay, it might be a problem.
- Hurry up hurry up!
Work fast work faster work faster
work faster work faster! - Okay!
- Gotcha!
Oh this kid's a unit.
How'ssss it going over there with the trap, Ssssschwwwwwozzzzz?
- I just need to attach more flashing lights!
- Is that really necessary?!
- Not at all, but look how cool they are.
- SCHWOZ!
- Give it!
Now!
- It works!
- Yeah, I caught him in a time loop.
- That's amazing.
- Now he's stuck reliving the same three seconds
over and over. And over.
And over. And ov--
- We get it.
[ giggles ]
- Looks like he's dancing.
- Oh, yeah... - Heh heh, it does.
- He's doing a little dance thing. Look at this.
Now I'm doing the dance. You see that?
[ Piper's phone pings ]
[ gasps ]
- What's up? - Dad's coming home!
- What?! I thought he was at the Fayke Fest.
- You're not gonna believe this, but the Fayke Festival was fake!
- What? - No!
- Yes! The whole thing was just a scam
to separate idiots from their money.
Now Dad's on his way home, and he says,
"I hope your brother is having a party
and not being the two friended nerd he usually is."
- Wow. That kinda hurts.
- He's on his way right now!
How are we going to make it look like you're having a party?!
[ music ]
- No way...
- Hey, Dad! - Hey, Mister Hart!
- Welcome back! - Hi, Henry's dad!
- I have never been proud of you until right now.
- Awww...
- Later, Pops. I got a w*r to fight.
In the future. Against robots.
That look like children.
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
- Aahh!!
- That's my boss. He was in the ceiling.
- Hey, where's your wife?
- Yeah, where is mom?
- I know, right?
[ dance music ]
05x23 - A Tale of Two Pipers
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After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.
After school, Henry becomes Kid Danger: Captain Man's superhero sidekick.