05x09 - Sad Cupcakes

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Bob Hearts Abishola". Aired: September 23, 2019 – present.*
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Despite their differences, Bob falls in love with Abishola and sets his sights on getting her to give him a chance.
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05x09 - Sad Cupcakes

Post by bunniefuu »

Quarter one profits are up.


Factory output is at a whopping 85%.

- Yeah!
- Come on!

I would prefer 90.

That is why I did not drum the table.

We even have companies sniffing
around about buying us.

So, everybody, great job.

Wait, somebody wants to buy us?

- So then we won't have to work here?
- But we still get money?

Who is the sniffer,

and how much are they paying to sniff?

There isn't much to tell.

The headline is,
people are paying attention.

Means we're doing something right.

Why is nobody else clapping?

Well, how much are they offering?

Is it, like, "screw you" money

or "hey, knock it off" money?

It doesn't matter, we're not selling.

Hey, aren't you obligated
to tell the board

- about any outside overtures?
- Outside overtures.

That's exactly right, Christina.

There was an outside overture.

Congratulations, you're informed.

All right, let's look
at next quarter's projections.

I think we should
request a written offer

from the sniffer

and see what our options are.

Yeah, options are.

Come on, guys,
I was in a good mood at work.

That never happens.

This isn't just your decision, Bob.

Okay? It affects future generations.

I have to think about what's
best for Embryo 15966.

That is a beautiful name.

Come on, Bob.

He, she or they deserve to be rich.

We are not selling my dad's company.

We are celebrating a job well done.

So, everybody, attaboy. Kofo, clap.

That is okay, Mr. Wheeler. I do not...

- I said, "Clap!"
- Yes.



MAX: Don't be shy with that pour, Bobby.

We got a dilemma here,
we need our thinking juice.

There's no dilemma, Dad.
I'm not selling.

Yet, here I sit.

The manifestation of your doubt.

I'm telling you, I don't need you here.

- Peekaboo.
- Ah!

Damn it.

This is a real opportunity.

Getting paid to not work is
kind of the American dream.

Maybe there's no harm
in hearing the offer.

Well, careful.

It's kind of like buying
a drink for a hooker.

You know how the evening's gonna end.

It just doesn't feel right,

profiting on our family's legacy.

Oh, that's good. Play conflicted.

They'll jack up the price.

I have plenty of money already.

Excuse me, Gandhi.

I have everything I need.

My health,
a family that loves me, my hair.

That's from me. You're welcome.

I'm fine with the way things are.

Take it from your dead daddy.

If I'm here, you're not fine.

So you want me to sell.

Damn right. You earned it.

Then again,

what kind of jackass
sells his dad's company?

That's what I was saying!

Maybe you're right.

Maybe the smart move
is to turn them down

and keep the business.

What about all that crap

about me deserving to
take the money and run?

True, I did make some good points.

So, what then? Sell? Don't sell?

It's a toughie.

A real quagmire.

Rock and a hard place, I...


- Still here.
- Oh...


Should I eat or sleep?
I only have time for one.

Sleep. It'll give you more energy.

Okay, wake me up
in one and a half minutes.


Thank God I found you. I need your help.

What's wrong?

I have to return one of these frames,

and I cannot choose.

Sky eyes...

or ocean eyes?

Sleeping eyes. Go away.

After all I have done for you?
This is a fashion emergency!

It's our third double in a row.

Damn hospital keeps
laying off more nurses.

I wish they would spend the
savings on a longer bench.

What is the problem?
Nigerians love work.

We love it more than we love love.

The hospital added extra hours,

but is refusing to pay us overtime.

Oh, Nigerians do not love that.

No, we do not.

I'm from Detroit
and I'm not fond of it, either.

So, both of you are going to be grumpy

for the foreseeable future?

- Yep.
- Yes.

Well, then,
I suppose I will have to continue

being the bubbly one.

It could be worse.

At least we have jobs to complain about.

Jobs that are awful.

Trying to look on the bright side,

There is no bright side.

I'm curled up on this slab of wood.

Hey, at least you're indoors.

You're right. This sucks.

I cannot take any more of this moping.

Hey, come on. Hey, girl.

You see? You are forcing me

to take fashion advice from white women!

Hang on, my friend! Come!


- Hey, honey.


Uh-oh. Ice cream for dinner.

Couldn't have been that bad a day.

No chocolate sauce.

Because we are out.
This is the worst day ever.

I haven't sat down for 12 hours.

How was your day?

I was offered a
multimillion-dollar buyout.

Ah, that's wonderful.

You do not need treats.

Might not be so wonderful
for the company.

But they are offering you millions.

Right, but at what cost?


With that kind of money,
you can take time off and relax.

I thought you'd tell me to keep working.

Work is not everything.

My God,
what has that hospital done to you?

I know, I never complain about my job.

They've turned me into an American.

It might not be the worst thing

for both of us to get out of the grind.

We could take that
money and go somewhere.

Far away from IVs and bedpans.

No sock shipments, no spreadsheets...

Just you and me,

drinking wine on the balcony
of our Italian villa.

you are so bella.


You ever been with an Italian man?

- Yes.
- Ah.



What's your big announcement?

I'll tell you in a minute.

All right.

Is it what I think it is?

Let's just wait till everyone gets here.


Goodwin? Hmm, hmm, hmm?

He would not tell me, either.

But I don't think he would
gather us for bad news.

Really? 'Cause I feel like
good news travels fast, so...

Would you guys just stop?

Okay, what's the bad news?

Screw it. We're not selling the company.

DOUGLAS: W-what?

Pretty sure we weren't asked.

We weren't asked, were we?

Was I the only one not asked?

Seems Mr. Wheeler decided
this all on his own.

Yeah, 'cause it's my frigging company.

[SINGSONGY]: Who wants some cupcakes?

Bob says we're not selling.

Oh. In that case,

who wants cupcakes?

We're just getting started here.

We run our own factory now,
we got that new clothing line.

I don't know about you guys,

but I want to see this thing through.

[SCOFFS] I don't see anything through.

Do you know how many times
I've started guitar lessons?

All right. Come on, Douglas,
we should at least hear Bob out.

Our parents founded this company.

It's part of who we are.

Are we gonna throw all that
away for a few dollars?

Okay, we heard him out.

I vote yes.


This isn't the kind of thing we vote on.

Why not? We're shareholders, too.

He's right. The bylaws do say that.

Yeah, bylaws.

You know what? I am with Mr. Wheeler.

Thank you, Kofo.

Although I'm not a shareholder,

so my vote is useless.

So it's me and Goodwin against you two.

Which is a stalemate,
which means we don't sell.

Enjoy your cupcakes.

I am sorry to do this, Mr. Wheeler.

but if the offer is fair,
I vote to sell.

You got to be kidding me.

You know I do not kid.

We've built a wonderful business here,

but I am not done building.

This money would give me the chance

to start out on my own.

Well, you tried.

I'm gonna go roll over in my grave now.


Hey, big brother.

You know what vote was unanimous?

How much we love you.

Can't believe you guys
would sell our legacy

for a quick payday.

[SIGHS] We just think

the money would be very useful,

given our respective circumstances.

Future mother-to-be...

Likes money.

And what happens when
your money runs out?

Well, with a sum that large,

you just invest in high-yield
CDs and index funds

and just live off the interest.

[CHUCKLES] You seriously
didn't know that?

What happens when your kid
burns through your nest egg?

Oh, that's not gonna happen.

If anything, I'll burn through it all.

You realize that once we give up MaxDot,

we are never getting it back?

Why do you care?

This place literally
gave you a heart att*ck.

MaxDot didn't blow up my heart,

I did, stress eating and cigarettes.

And why were you stress eating?

Well, that was my divorce.

And why were you getting divorced?

'Cause of work.

We can do this all day, Bob.

Look, you didn't choose this place

any more than we did.

Dad d*ed and you got stuck with it.

This is the way out.

Most CEOs get prison time.

You're just getting money.

It's not about money.

It's the freedom.

Cold, hard freedom.

You guys can quit on
this place if you want,

but I'm not going anywhere.

And for the record,

the divorce was because she cheated.

'Cause you were married to your work.

It's too easy, Bob.





My feet are k*lling me.

I think I decompressed
Bob's compression socks.

When did Instagram just
become naked men and pizza?

It changes based on what you look at.


That makes sense.

Abishola, I need you to take
the cardiac patient in 209.

Uh-uh. You have already given me

four extra patients.

Okay, I'll tell people to
stop getting hurt and sick.

I will not have the time to
care for all of them properly.

Quit your whining and just do it.

Oh! I always thought Abishola
would win in a fight,

but now my money's on the little one.

Nobody likes this situation,
we just have to deal with it.

That is not a solution.

You think I'm not tired or hungry?

I have twice as much work as you

and you don't see me complaining.

Mmm, I did not realize it was so hard to

carry a clipboard and
order people around.


That was a low and clever blow.

How about you stick to your
job and I stick to mine?

Well, mine would be easier

if my supervisor was not incompetent.

[GASPS] Her supervisor is you.

Girl, if you don't get out there

and work, this incompetent supervisor

is about to write your ass up.



I don't know whether to follow my friend

or stay here with the winner.


Whoops! Other way, other way.


They might have outvoted me,

but I could still t*nk the deal.

I'll just ask for a crazy number.

And if that doesn't work,

act like a nut job
during the negotiation.

Well, how do I do that?

Start talking to your dead father.

That's a good idea.

Seems like a lot of work

to screw people you love
out of what they want.

Christina and Douglas
don't know what they want.

I'm protecting them.

Yeah, of course.
You practically raised them.

Damn right, I did.

Then again, they're 45.

It doesn't matter, they're not ready

to be out on their own.

Are they not ready,

- or are you not ready?
- Well, what does that mean?

You ever think that maybe

you're holding them back?

What are you talking about?

I always encouraged them,
and when they screw up,

I'm there to pick up the pieces.

And they know that.

Of course.

You never really have to try

if you know big brother's
gonna take care of it.


That's the smile of a man
whose point has been made.





Sorry, I came for gloves.

Go ahead.
I'm just taking a little breather.

In the closet?

Well, it used to be peaceful in here.

This week has been very
hard for all of us.

Especially for those of
us who are incompetent.

I spoke out of turn.

I'm sorry.

Well, we're all exhausted.

I've been putting up with
these ridiculous hours

and terrible pay for over 35 years.

Hasn't gotten any better.

Maybe it will one day.

That sounds like the kind
of naive crap I would say.

It is crap,

but it is helpful crap.

I thought it just pissed you off.

Oh, it does...

but it also keeps me going.

In that case,
we've got patients that need us,

so let's keep going.

Much better.

And if they aren't gonna
pay us what we earn...

What are you doing?

Stealing my overtime.

They owe us much more than that.

There is a brand new heart
monitor on the third floor.

You might have trouble
fitting that in your pants.

Let's start with Band-Aids.


I have reached out

on behalf of the company

and told the buyer that we are

interested in making a deal.

Can you do that without Mr. Wheeler?


I can also do it without you.


You have my full support.

Ah, I guess I should have knocked.

Hey, there he is.

Weren't sure you were coming in today.

That's so brave.

Look, I'm glad everyone's here.

I've given it some thought,

and I've decided the
best thing for all of us

is to sell MaxDot.

We kind of already decided that, Bob.

Yeah, remember the other day,

when we said "sell", and you said "no"?

And then we outvoted you?

I just didn't want you
doing this for the money.

But I have come to realize that

not being chained to this place

will let all of us forge our own paths.

We kind of said that, too.

It won't be easy for me to
say goodbye to this place,

but I'll do it if it means

I get to watch the people
I love spread their wings.

Goodwin, I see you
as a full-fledged mogul.

I can picture the logo now.

Goodwin Aderibigbe
Olayiwola Enterprises.

Gonna need a big business card.

Christina and Douglas,

I can't help but see you guys as

the 12-year-olds I've
always had to take care of,

but you don't need me anymore.

You'll always be my big brother.

Wait a minute,

you're not getting out of here

- without a Doug hug.
- Oh...

What a nice moment.

I am glad that everyone besides
me has such a bright future.

You do too, buddy.

I'm gonna start a new venture soon

and I'm gonna need
somebody to help me run it.

Thank you. And unlike these people,

I will never s*ab you in the back.

We kind of just hugged and made up.

I will not let him forget this betrayal.


we're really doing this.

I guess so.

[SIGHS] I wonder what Dad would say

about us selling MaxDot.

Well, he's not here.

Yeah, I think we're good.


- Is that better?
- Mmm.

Socks, massages...

- Thank God you're a foot man.

It's gonna be weird.

I spent most of my life at MaxDot.

Mmm. It's a big part of you.

You know, if it wasn't for the
stress of running the place,

I would never have had that
heart att*ck and met you.

If I had not picked up
that extra shift that day,

I would never have met you.

Thank God we're both addicted to work.


You sure you're gonna be all right

if you're not married to a CEO,

and just plain old Bob Wheeler?


You are my Bob Wheeler.

The man who showed up at my door

and swept me off my feet.

The man who can make me smile
after a hard day at the hospital.

The man I can laugh with,

and cry with,

and just be with.

Thank you.

Of course, silly man.

I love you.

I love you.

Tomorrow, I start my first day

as a man of leisure.


You have misunderstood me.

At no point did I mention laziness.

I'm just talking about
sleeping in once in a while.


as long as we build a new empire.

You got it.

She's a real p*stol.

She sure is.

Kind of reminds me of the gal I married.

Aw, come on!
Why'd you put that in my head?
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