07x10 - Quailman Vs. Supersport

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boo-doo-bop ♪

[whistling]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop ♪

[chuckling]

[growling]

Hey! Hey! [screams]

[barking]

[whistling]

[groans]

[screaming]

♪ Ba-ba-du-bop boop bop boop du-bop ♪

[man] High in the icy mountains
of Yakkestonia,

world champion snowboard racer
Heinrich Hankie

is poised at the starting gate,

unaware of the dastardly peril
lurking on the course below.

Stop him! somebody stop him!

Please to be holding it.

What in the blue blazers are you doing?

Don't let him race.
Gate 14 is booby-trapped.

Many pardons, Mr. Fellow in the underwear,
But I--

They're not underwear.
They're power briefs.

Whatever. You have cuckoos in the coconut.

No one can stop Hankie.

He's the fastest snowboarder in the world.

That's what you think.

Ha! Swoosh away!

Whoa-- oh!

Ha ha. These bindings
are totally defective.

Who manufactures these things?

"S.T.U.A.R.T. 160's."

Hey, Quailman, equipment trouble?

Booby trap! Hankie! Gate 14!

You can count on me, man! I'll save him!

Hold up, Hankie!

Hey, you person of silliness,

what are you doing?

[beeping]

[Silver Skeeter] Avalanche!

-Aah!
-Aah!

No! Silver Skeeter! No!

[footsteps]

[whistles]

[man] Quailman and his
faithful animal companion

dig frantically in search
of Silver Skeeter,

believing only one thing can save him --

the force of truth, justice,
and a really big shovel.

Where are those rescue teams?
What's taking them so long?

Hey, man. Need a hand?

Finally. What are you waiting for?

Start digging.

We have to rescue Heinrich Hankie and --

Silver Skeeter?

You made it! But how?

Too unbelievable to explain.

Hankie's OK, too.

Mmm. Rich chocolatey goodness.

Well, then, mission accomplished.

Let's go out and celebrate.

Hey, yeah, sounds good to me.
How about we call up

Material Girl and Super Sport?

[barks]

And Fifi the Wonder Dog, of course.

Meet you at the thicket
of solitude at 6:00 sharp.

All right! All right!

There's nothing spiffier
than a freshly pressed superhero outfit.

Funny, though. this feels a bit large.

Wait a minute. I can tell
by the "P" on my shirt

That this isn't my costume.

The cleaners must have switched it.

S.T.U.A.R.T. Cleaners?

Hmm. I wonder if it's the same company
that made that defective snowboard.

Well, the cleaners are closed,

so it looks like I'm stuck wearing this.

How annoying.

[sighs]

Yeah, tell it to the dry cleaners.

May as well listen to
a little radio while we wait.

Get it? Radio. Little.
A little radio? Huh?

Announcer: K-Quail radio --
we're all bassoon music all the time,

24 hours a day whether you like it or not.

K-Quail-- proud new member
of the S.T.U.A.R.T. radio family.

S.T.U.A.R.T. Again? Oh, man.

[sighs] Where is he?

Hey, guys, ready to meet the ladies?

-Where have you been? You're an hour late.
-[device beeping]

-I am?
-It's the Quail phone.

-Hello.
-Quailman, this is Super Sport.

You are looking at some
serious penalty time, mister.

We've been waiting at the mall
for over an hour.

I've stopped a jewel heist, two muggings,

and saved a busload
of frightened schoolchildren.

Material Girl has maxed out
all her credit cards.

But we can be there in half a tick.

Don't bother.

We're making it a girls' night out--

just me, Super Sport, and Wonder Fifi.

[woof]

You've wrecked our evening!

Why can't you ever show up
on time for anything?

What's your problem, man?
I didn't do it on purpose.

I guess my watch is slow.

Then your watch is a piece of junk.

You ought to know.

It was a birthday present from you.

I paid top dollar for this watch.

Isn't there the slightest possibility

that you destroyed
its timekeeping abilities

with your weirdo magnetic skin?

Hey, nobody makes fun
of my weirdo magnetic skin.

And next time you're in trouble,

don't count on me to get you out!

Oh, by the way, nice costume, Pale Man.

That's not even slightly funny!

S.T.U.A.R.T.?

These people are lousy
at snowboards, dry cleaning,

and timepieces.

Remind me never to buy any more
of their products, Quaildog.

Recycling.

Well, so much for our evening out.

Come on, Quaildog, let's head down
to the Millet King

for some takeout.

[both] Fly away!

Drat. Why don't I ever see
that third asteroid coming?

I'll never get off level two.

For next game,
insert 68 cents in exact change.

Hey, Quaildog, have you got

Of course you don't.

Nobody has 68 cents in exact change.

How annoying!

Who makes these dumb machines?

S.T.U.A.R.T. again.

OK, this is getting a little weird.

What do you mean my food's not ready yet?

I'm number 36!

No, I'm 36. Get in line.

Oh, yeah? Says who?

You're all wacko!

Thirty-six was a takeout order
to Yakkestonia.

It says so on my S.T.U.A.R.T.
cash register.

[car alarm sounding]

What in the name of Mom, apple pie,

and all that is good...

[car alarm sounding]

Shut... it... off!

It's one of those S.T.U.A.R.T. alarms.

Nobody knows how to shut them off.

Get off my car!

Citizens of Megalopolis,

this is no way to resolve a dispute.

I'm sure if we just behave reasonably--

Hey, get out of here, brief boy!

Huh?

[shouting]

Wait a minute.

Shoddy snowboards, jammed car alarms,

unreliable watches...

Say, it all seems designed
somehow to annoy people

and drive them apart with petty bickering.

Hmm. I wonder if all this
could have anything to do

with a company called-- aah!

S.T.U.A.R.T.

-[arf]
-Hmm...

[groans]

Remember, kids, don't try this at home.

What kind of kid would be crazy enough
to try this at home?

Silver Skeeter?

What are you doing here?

Foiling an evil villain, of course.
What are you doing here?

This is my evil villain.

Go find your own evil villain to foil.

Oh, yeah? Well, I was here first.

No, wait. Don't you see?
you and me fighting --

It's all part of S.T.U.A.R.T.'s evil plan.

Yeah, right, and they even forced you
to buy me a cheap old watch.

Now get off my truck!

It wasn't cheap,
you chrome-plated crackpot.

And you get off!

[both] You get off! You get off!

You late-showing up date messer-upper.

Cheapskate!

[groans]

Wow. This looks like it could be some kind
of secret headquarters.

[sarcastically]
Oh, really? You think so?

[both] Aah! Aah!

-Hey, who are they?
-Get 'em!

Yikes!

Oh, no. Cape's too long. Can't fly!

Oh!

I'm not one to complain,
but this cape is so annoying.

What?

Hey, don't move!

Quick!

Ah! Ooh! Stupid cape! Uh!

Hold on. I think
I'm getting the hang of this.

Uh-oh. Run away!

I think I saw him go down there.

No, wait, over here. You go that way.

I knew even that troublesome cape
could be used for good.

Time to figure out
just what sort of evil plot

is going on in this place.

This appears to be
the evil device storage room.

Dripping faucets, socks that don't match,

alarm clocks that can't be shut off.

They've got every
annoying object in the world.

Numbers 186 and 252, come with me.

Mmm.

OK. We need these
traffic lights installed

at the following
intersections by 1400 hours.

Excuse me, sir. These traffic lights--

They have four colors?

Red, yellow, green, purple. So?

So what's purple mean?

Nobody knows.
That's the whole point.

Don't you read the memos?

The lights turn purple,
the drivers get confused,

bingo-- everyone starts
yelling and honking--

instant chaos.

But that's so annoying.

Of course it's annoying!
That's what we do!

We're S.T.U.A.R.T.--

the society to undermine, annoy,

and ruthlessly torment.

Say, how long have you
worked here, anyway?

Oh, I joined...

say, look at the time. Ha ha ha.

We better be getting to our, uh,

undermining and annoying seminar,

Uh, now!

Hold it!

Come back here!

Oh, number 186, you can't go in there.

[ruff ruff]

Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! But that's just a...

Aah!

Laundry chute.

Aah!

Ew. Yuck. Of all the --

Shh! And get off my foot.

You again. What are you doing in here?

Learning S.T.U.A.R.T.'s
master plan, smarty-pants.

Check it out.

They're practicing annoying gestures.
Ha!

Ha!

Bbbllll!

Bbbllll! Bbbllll!

S.T.U.A.R.T. Troopers,

The goal of our great leader
is fast approaching.

Throughout the city, we've annoyed people
to the point of breaking.

Soon we'll be ready
to take over Megalopolis.

[all] Annoy! Exasperate! Control!

Take over Megalopolis?

Good thing I found out in time.

You found out? You just got here.

I'm, like, five steps
ahead of you, Belt Head.

Oh, yeah, Hubcap Head?
How'd you like to --

You must stop this senseless bickering

and work together to defeat them.

please, reason with each other.

Too late.

Oops.

Get him! Get him!

Uh-oh. Must liquefy.

Whoa, whoa! Aah!

Hey, watch where you're sloshing.

You watch where
you're bobbing and darting!

[both] Uh?

Aah! Aah!

Quaildog, we need to get to this leader
the trooper talked about.

There must be some way to-- aah!

Aah!

Where are we?

Uh, Mr. Supreme Commander?

Please, just call me 18.73a.

and I have one question for you, Pale Man.

Does this bother you?

[slurps loudly]

Uhh! Terribly.

and it's Quailman, not Pale Man.

Good. Got you twice.

Guards!

Oh, man! Unh!

Now to lower my annoying yet patented
Cage of Confinement.

Hey, where am I? Oh, great!

Just who I wanted to be trapped
in a glass cage with.

Well, it looks like I've just about got
all my ducks in a circle.

-In a row.
-Come again.

The term is "ducks in a row,"

Not a circle.

I hate it when people mix their metaphors.

See how good I am at annoying people?

Them-- nothing.

Me-- a whole bunch.

[scrapes fingernails]

Aah! Aah!

We're onto your scheme.

You'll never get away with it.

Scram. You're in my third of the cage.

Ah, but we have been
getting away with it. Maestro.

♪ When your soda loses fizz
Right before a pop quiz ♪

♪ When your toast hits the ground ♪

♪ With the butter side down ♪

♪ You got too many chores,
Even some that aren't yours ♪

♪ You rip your only shorts
And you lose your book reports ♪

♪ It's the fine work of S.T.U.A.R.T. ♪

♪ When your milk carton leaks
And your underarm reeks ♪

♪ Frustration level peaks ♪

♪ Things are looking pretty bleak ♪

♪ It ain't no mistake
That your shoelaces break ♪

♪ And you're four hours late
For your first big date ♪

♪ It's the fine work of S.T.U.A.R.T. ♪

♪ 'Cause we love to aggravate,
Hope it makes you irate ♪

♪ It's your nerves we love to grate ♪

♪ We're the fine folks at S.T.U.A.R.T. ♪

♪ Yes, we're the fine folks
at S.T.U.A.R.T. ♪

In just 24 hours,

all these annoying little things

will drive the whole city to distraction,

and all of Megalopolis will be mine.

Too bad you won't be around to see it.

Oh, yeah? What are you going to do,
annoy us to death?

Precisely.

Ha ha ha ha ha!