Charles!
Charles, come, come!
sh*t.
Charles, come!
You stupid dog.
Come! Now!
Oh, f*ck.
- Charles.
- Come here, boy.
Come here, boy.
Come, come.
Come.
Come here, come here.
I'm sorry.
Can you please help me?
I need to get in touch
with my daughter.
Can I borrow your phone?
Please.
Please.
If you were a cat,
you'd be dead.
Morris, please,
for God's sake.
Mom, just...
Okay? Please?
What's it gonna
f*cking take, huh?
You're never gonna see
your little girl again.
Do you understand that?
The f*ck
is wrong with you?
Okay.
Hey, Mike D!
What up, buddy?
- You know what time it is?
- Yeah, I do.
Yeah? All right.
Come on, let's go.
Hey, Cruise!
Come on, buddy!
Get your ass moving!
I can clearly see your balls,
for God's sake!
Hey, Morris,
is that you?
Coming at you, buddy.
Hey, Sammy!
Sammy, your ride's here!
Hey, there he is.
How's it going, bud?
You doing all right?
Mmm.
That's what
I'm talking about.
Get a little snap to it,
yeah?
Hey, look,
today's our Monday
accountability meeting.
Why don't you
sit in, yeah?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Came here drunk?
Can't have that here.
You understand me?
I can't have it here.
Yeah.
All right, look.
Yeah, we're all here
to get better, right?
Maybe you sobered up
a little bit with that puke.
Take any dr*gs today?
Not today.
That's nice.
Okay.
Look, leave the bag for me
on the front porch.
All right.
I'm gonna check you
for paraphernalia.
Yeah.
I'll give it to you
at the end of the afternoon.
May the Force
be with you, man.
Come on in, Sammy.
Come here.
Buddy.
I'm gonna miss you, buddy.
Great work.
We'll talk.
All right.
There he is.
Let's go, Pete!
What the f*ck, Pete?
All right,
all right, all right!
Just f*cking read, bro.
"If I am disturbed,
it is because I find
some person, place,
thing or situation,
some fact of my life
as unacceptable to me."
- All right, fellas.
- I want you to meet Morris.
Is Clint Eastwood
gonna tell me to
get off his lawn?
All right, all right.
Welcome, Morris.
Thank you, Jake.
That's Jake. That's Dip.
Don't take anything
he says seriously.
That's Garvey over
there in the corner.
We got Mike D,
we got Cedric,
Stew, Diego,
Tom Cruise.
Sammy outside
just graduated.
Come, Morris.
Everything's gonna be okay.
- Make him feel comfortable.
- Welcome to the loony bin.
Hey, sit down.
Move the chair.
All right, fellas,
meeting time!
Garvey, I want you to show him
to you guys' room
right after the meeting.
What the f*ck, Pete?
Why's he gotta be in my room?
'Cause you don't
have a roommate.
I like being by myself.
Bullshit, bro.
He doesn't mean
any of that, Morris.
Packing them in, huh, Pete?
Profiting off the ill.
Making the cash, huh?
Give me that book.
"And I can find no serenity
until I accept the person,
place, thing or situation
has been exactly the way
it's supposed to be
at this moment."
That is some good sh*t.
What do you say, Stewie?
Good sh*t.
Good sh*t.
Yeah.
That's good sh*t.
You're on the bottom.
I'm outta here before you
and then
you'll get the top.
Cycle through.
You smell that?
Probably something left over
from the fuckhead who
was in here before you.
Total weirdo.
Hung himself.
Between us,
I'm okay with it.
Dude used to keep piss
in Ziploc bags
under his bed
and collect
his own eyelashes.
Annoying as sh*t.
I was on the bottom bunk.
You see how it works?
You good?
Yeah.
So if you go with
the house rules, and the flow,
do your chores
and don't complain,
it's pretty easy.
You gotta attend five AA
or NA meetings a week.
We make a big dinner
every night.
Eventually,
you'll get a night.
But you gotta make
your own breakfast
and lunch.
When do we get
to leave the house?
In the beginning,
just for meetings.
Me, I can go whenever.
But you?
You're here for a while.
There's super good
sobriety here though.
Dudes are pretty chill.
That's right.
That's right.
Dude freaks me out.
Oh, Stew?
Ladies love Stew.
Vodka.
It always starts with booze.
Then whatever.
I did K almost daily
for two years.
Blew a hole in my septum.
Now boogers go from
one side to the other.
He started this place
'cause he got let go
from another sober living
for b*ating up
the program director.
Those places can be
super shady.
Feeding off suffering kids
who can't get right.
Making a sh*t ton of dough.
No real program.
Actually counting on
repeat offenders
and recycling
helpless addicts in and out
like Dip over there.
Yo, I'ma be in
and out of your moms, bruh.
And once
you're off restrictions,
you can almost go anywhere.
As long as you're with
a phase two guy.
I'm phase two,
so you can go surfing with me.
I do surf therapy.
That's what Garvey
was giving Pete
so much sh*t about?
Yeah, but that's
not Pete though.
Pete started
this place from scratch
with a different mindset
on recovery.
Real solution.
Changed how
I f*cking see the world.
So your company's why
you're here.
Well, they took me off
the roster till I get better.
Plus I've been blackballed
everywhere else,
so kind of need them
on my side.
You all right?
Yeah.
Oh, f*ck.
How do I get to phase two?
Thirty days
sober and clean.
Do your chores.
Don't go missing for hours.
Don't miss any meetings.
Don't pee hot.
And you're good.
Easy f*cking does it.
Handle your animal, bro!
Dirty aliens!
I'm gonna f*ck y'all up!
I'll piss on
both of y'all, son!
What the f*ck's
wrong with that guy?
See this tat
right here, bro?
Ohh!
I actually have a career.
Oh, yeah?
So you work tomorrow?
I saw the f*cking video.
You are a piece of sh*t
excuse for a man.
You know what?
You're not even a man.
And you're certainly
not a father.
Lose my f*cking number.
We are done with you.
Who wants it?
Who wants it, m*therf*cker?
Who wants to
f*cking go, huh?
f*ck!
Come at me!
Where is he?
Who the f*ck are you, huh?
You want some?
You want some, m*therf*cker?
Hey, buddy.
No phones, man.
Hand it over.
Come on.
You have two phones?
You have
my work phone.
Any other phones
I gotta worry about?
You sure?
No bed phone?
Are you okay?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, we got a softball game
in, like, 30.
Put on some sweatpants
or some sh*t.
- Lob it, chief.
- Go, buddy.
All right!
Go, Diego!
Come on, Diego!
Whoo!
Man doing gymnastics.
There it is.
Come on now.
Come on, Diego!
You got this, baby!
Come on,
put a little boom in it now!
Come on, Diego!
Out!
Out?
What the f*ck?
That was clearly a ball.
One,
Diego never swings.
All right?
He doesn't wanna get dirty.
Two,
it's a strike.
If the ball hits the plate,
it's a strike.
I hate softball.
Well, it was
a good pitch though.
But you're right.
Softball
ain't baseball.
Definitely not.
My old man had Dodgers
season tickets since the '80s.
You a fan?
- Red Sox.
- f*ck 'em up, Garvey!
f*ckers.
All right, mami, serve
up that titty milk, huh?
Come on, Garvey!
There you go, baby!
Yeah!
Damn.
Let's go, Garvey! Damn.
Yeah, man, he played D1.
He's the only
guaranteed run we have.
Secret Agents 18,
Sweet Dreams 3!
You guys are terrible.
It's not bad.
Only 15 runs this time.
Morris.
You're up, Chuck.
I'm good.
Come on, bro.
It's a bad look
not to participate.
Just take
the f*cking bat, cool guy.
It'll be good for you.
Get out there. Come on.
There he goes.
Come on now,
you got this!
Let's go,
Morris, let's go!
Take your time.
We have faith in you, man!
Come on,
Morris, you got it.
Let's go, Morris!
We want a hitter,
not a drug quitter!
Come on now.
Go, go, go!
Was not expecting that.
My kid's barely sleeping.
I mean, I volunteered
to handle nights
so my wife could sleep,
but I'm up every five minutes
until midnight
for the last few days.
So last night,
I yelled at him
like Mark Wahlberg in Fear
when he's like, "So let me
in the f*cking house!"
And my kid got scared
and I didn't even feel bad.
Until I laid back down,
and then I couldn't sleep
the rest of the night.
You'd think
after ten years sober,
I wouldn't lose
my sh*t like this.
With a toddler too.
That's all I got, thanks.
Thanks, Gary.
Uh, Jake,
let's hear from you.
Thanks, Miguel.
I'm Jake. Alcoholic.
- Jake!
- Jake!
I really relate to that story
you told right there, Gary.
Seriously, man.
It reminds me of my roommate
over here, Tom Cruise.
I feel the same way
about him, huh, Tom?
But that's all I got.
I want to pass it
to Morris if I can.
It's okay, Morris.
Okay, thanks, Jake.
Morris. Alcoholic.
Hey, Morris!
I got a DUI once,
so I've been to these before.
Not this meeting, but AA.
I don't know,
I f*cked up pretty bad.
I went to this work thing,
and I got in a fight
with a coworker's husband.
And the next thing you know,
I wake up bloody
on a park bench.
Dude,
you're in the right place.
Yeah, the thing is,
I left my eight-year-old
daughter home alone by herself.
And I waited till
she fell asleep,
and I was gonna be back
before she woke up,
but I went out
and had a few drinks
and next thing you know,
I wake up on the bench.
I don't remember the fight.
Nothing.
No one seemed to care
when I was left home alone
at that same age.
But, you know,
different time, I get it.
It would've been fine,
but she woke up
and went looking for me.
And then locked herself
out of the house.
Neighbor found her.
Called the cops.
It was a f*cking nightmare.
And I can just see
her little face crying.
So scared.
How am I supposed to go to
a party and not drink?
Go to a game or even on a date?
You know, any idea of having
a good time is f*cking gone.
And no offense, guys,
but I don't want to
end up like you
and have no life
and the only thing
to look forward to
is these f*cking meetings.
That's it.
Yeah, Morris!
f*ck yeah!
Uh, let's hear from
that crusty guy Frank.
Oh, f*ck you.
Hey, I'm Frank.
I'm an alcoholic
and drug addict.
Frank!
Thanks for the meeting,
buddy.
Morris,
that takes courage, man.
Good job.
For real. You know,
when I first came in here,
I could not stop
sh**ting dope.
I did that sh*t for 25 years
and I was running the biggest
record company in town
at the f*cking time too.
Didn't matter.
And I had everything.
I had the hot wife,
the cars, the kids.
I had all the toys,
but I was
f*cking miserable, man.
I was miserable.
And when I finally had enough
and I decided to get sober,
all those people I worked
with, they thanked me.
They thanked me!
Wow!
My wife--
Well, she's my ex-wife now
at that point.
I f*cked that up,
but she f*cking thanked me.
It's like everybody
knew what a mess
my life was except me.
It took a minute.
I'm here to tell you
it ain't fun out there.
It gets worse.
And the guys in this room
will tell you
this sober sh*t,
it ain't boring.
f*ck no!
Look at this f*cking guy
slinging d*ck up there.
He's the best!
You can be just like him!
You're gonna
get your life back.
You're gonna get
your life back and then some.
It's like if you get
free here, get clean here,
a whole new world
cracks open.
It just does. It does.
And I thought just like
you think right now.
You know, and I
remember being new.
I remember being
a newcomer sitting there.
I did not want to hear
the sh*t coming out of
my mouth right now, Morris.
No way. I was thinking,
"Man, f*ck this guy.
He doesn't know."
You guys are
thinking that right now.
f*ck this guy
specifically.
So it's really up to you
if you want this or not.
It's just up to you.
You know?
You can always go back to
doing what you were doing.
What do you have
to lose?
That's all I got.
Nice. Thank you, Frank!
- Frankie!
- Solid.
f*ck.
Jesus.
m*therf*cker.
It's funny?
Think it's funny?
Okay, m*therf*cker.
Dude!
What the hell?
m*therf*cker!
You want another broken nose?
Come on, Garvey, chill!
He didn't do it!
He didn't do it!
The socks are mine!
- Stop, Garvey!
- Let him go, Garvey!
Why?
He didn't do nothing!
You fucker!
Why?
Whoa!
f*cking p*ssy.
What the f*ck is going on?
I was just...
pushing buttons.
Get it together, boys.
You and I will talk later.
You, let's chat.
Come on, m*therf*cker!
You almost got
the new guy k*lled.
Enough of
the f*cking pranks, Jake!
I cannot live
in that f*cking room.
Garvey is a psycho.
And he smells bad.
All right, I get it.
He has really poor hygiene,
but maybe you could show him
something about self-care.
You know, I feel like
I'm trapped in here
with a bunch
of underachievers.
I am not them.
- I won awards, for f*ck's sake.
- Dude.
And I'm not gonna
pretend like this is all--
Dude. Dude!
You were dropped.
Temporarily.
They'll bring me back
once I'm outta here.
You're gonna have to
push all this sh*t aside.
I know how you feel.
Must be hard to find
anything attractive
about this place
with these guys,
but you're all here
doing the same thing.
You know that guy Frank
from the meetings?
Yeah.
A f*cking mogul.
Wound up sleeping in his car.
And the sad thing is
most of these guys
are not gonna make it.
Probability is
you're not gonna make it.
Hardly anyone stays sober.
How do you think those meetings
stay the same size?
Do you really want this?
Yeah.
Of course, if I ever want
to see my daughter again.
No, Morris.
For you. Not for her.
For you.
I'm gonna need you
to dig deep.
Start looking at these guys
and see what they have to offer.
What you did for a living
is much harder
than being clean for 90 days.
If they focus on negative sh*t,
you get negative sh*t.
I don't know.
Maybe cook these guys
dinner one night.
They'll love it.
Right? I mean,
contribute, be an asset.
Use your big-sh*t sh*t
and teach them something.
You do all of that,
it'll all fall into place.
I promise.
Yeah.
Uh, hang on a second.
Yeah, this is Pete.
Yeah, that's what
I consolidated.
Go f*ck yourself.
Everything okay?
Yeah, telemarketers.
Mmm.
No shame.
What's that?
What, the gold glove?
That's our 2015
championship trophy.
It's a pretty nice trophy
for softball.
Well, we haven't taken it
seriously in quite some time.
But did I see you having
a good time the other night?
It's the only fun I've had.
That's something.
Hey, Shannon.
I know you're pissed.
I f*cked up
really bad this time.
I know this.
I was hoping
to talk to Sofie.
I miss her,
and I feel awful.
And I hope you aren't
making things worse
than they already are.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.
Anyways,
if you wanna reach me,
it's 310-122-0199.
It's a house phone.
I don't get my phone
back for a bit.
Please.
Talk to you later.
Bye.
Cruise.
Here, try that.
Mmm, very nice.
Hey, if you need any help,
let me know.
I'm a pretty good cook.
You can do the dishes.
- Oh. Okay.
- You cook?
I'm sure your girlfriend
really likes that.
Yeah, no girlfriend.
Nice.
Yeah, I usually cook
a big meal for the crew
after I wrap a job.
"Crew." Is that
like a caterer chef?
I don't know
what you call that.
I'm a director.
Mostly music videos.
I too was once
a part of the industry.
I was a very
sought-after
underwear model.
Shut the f*ck up.
Look.
N--
No f*cking way. I--
Tom Cruise, right there.
Well, my birth name
is Tom Yodeler.
Oh.
But the guys started
calling me Tom Cruise
when they found out
about these.
What happened?
Sorry, that sounded shitty.
That's cool.
I know I'm a little fat now.
I stopped drinking,
got super depressed,
and I just started
eating my feelings.
I think I felt better
when I was still drinking.
Damn.
Maybe I should be the one
to sample the wings.
f*ck you, man!
I want to try some of
those f*cking wings, Mike D!
Oh, I bet you do.
Get in line, Bubba, whoo!
Whoo!
All right.
Ugh, man.
You don't have
no table manners, bro?
Bro, I'm gonna s*ab
myself in the face
if I have to watch you
molest another wing like that.
Well, I can't eat another.
Who wants my last wing?
Oh!
Me!
Me!
No, not Dip.
Give it to Cruise.
f*ck you, Morris.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Garvey.
Chill out, bro.
I'm not gonna chill.
He gets all the sh*t, man.
Hope you guys relapse, dawg.
I'm gonna clean up, man.
Thanks, man.
Bro.
There you go.
Thanks, man.
You don't want that.
You just got
hot sauce in my eye!
I'm gonna m*rder you!
Don't do it,
don't do it, don't do it!
He's like
an angry Benihana chef.
Yo, come on,
look at him.
Like a tiny T.rex.
Like a little Pikachu.
You better not leave
your room tonight.
If I see you come out,
even for a second,
you're f*cked.
And wipe that stupid smirk
off your f*cking face!
- Morris, I got 'em.
- You got what?
The tickets.
What tickets?
What tickets?
Morris, he traded
his box seats
for nosebleeds this Saturday.
Red Sox-Dodgers game.
We're going to the game.
That's right!
Going to the game!
We're going to the game!
- Great work, Morris.
- All right, all right, all right!
Why do you have
a pan in your hand?
I'm making croissants.
Cruise.
Put the f*cking pan down.
I'm sorry.
Whew.
These seats are sick, huh?
Not helping, Garvey.
Yo, Cruise! You find it?
I can't find it.
Oh, m*therf*cker!
Damn, man!
Our lives f*cking suck!
- And now we're here?
- Hey, who's up?
I can't hear the game.
Turn it up!
I did.
Top of the fifth,
JD Martinez will dig in.
Let's see how Kershaw
goes after him.
Clayton's looking
pretty good today.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eighty thousand for
a softball tournament?
"Go to iamyourbiggestfan.com
to sign up today."
Eighty bands
for a tournament?
Iamyourbiggestfan.com.
Is it OnlyFans?
Hey, we should do it.
Yeah,
we should do it.
Morris here is
a huge softball fan.
Aren't you, Morris?
I f*cking hate softball.
They say we gotta
sign up by Sunday,
and that's tomorrow.
Pete, are you sure
about this sh*t?
f*ck out of here.
I'm not gonna let
a bunch of sober dicks
split 80 grand.
You'd probably
relapse together.
Come on, Pete.
Let us relapse.
That sounds lit.
It would be
a good business decision.
Have you guys
back at the house.
Oh, you know,
whoever doesn't die
from an $80,000 bender.
Bro, you're so dramatic.
I'm trying to set
you guys up to live.
- Why?
- You should be all about this.
Yeah.
Hey,
I'd look forward to it.
The tourney,
not the relapse.
Never gonna happen,
fellas, 'cause Pete.
The teams on here. Man.
It says no pros.
It's gonna be
a bunch of office teams
and firemen teams
and sh*t like that.
Cafeteria workers.
MILFs.
Oh, MILFs, dawg.
Deep right field.
Betts goes back to the wall
and it's gone!
f*ck yeah, JD!
f*ck Kershaw.
Hell yeah.
One run, relax.
Hey, tontos,
traded those nosebleeds
for some fine cuisine.
Solid work, Diego!
Guys, guys, guys!
Guys!
Sammy OD'ed.
No f*cking way.
f*ck!
He's f*cking dead.
Man.
He's f*cking dead.
Morris, you know
he had your bed
before you got here,
right?
Way to ruin
a good time, man.
Shut the f*ck up, Garvey.
This is serious, fellas!
f*ck!
Damn.
Stop it.
Hey, stop it, man.
I told you to stop it!
- Yo, get Kung Fu Panda off me, man.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Panda?
More like a koala, dude.
Pete, what you up to
on the computer, man?
You know what I'm doing?
I'm looking at the tape of
Cruise trying to k*ll you.
I would've k*lled you too.
You're a grown man, dude.
You gotta work on
your impulsivity.
You gotta ask yourself
why you feel
so comfortable with chaos
when you have
a complete disregard
for everybody else around you?
Hey,
let's see the tape, Pete.
I'm not gonna play the tape.
Hey, wake up Garvey.
Garvey! Come on, Garvey!
Come on, dawg.
Let's see the footage.
Let's see the tape.
You want to see it?
- You want to see it?
- Yeah!
Yeah, all right.
Gather round. Here you go.
Boom.
That's not a tape.
It's the softball
tournament, y'all.
That's right.
I filled out the application
and I paid the entry fee.
It's over.
Oh, hell no, man.
- Softball?
- Come on.
It's gonna be great
for all of us.
And I also drew up a contract
regarding the money.
Nobody gets a dime unless
you do a full year sober.
That's a lot of
pressure, g*ng.
Ain't this supposed to be
day at a time?
That's how we get through.
One day at a time.
Sounds shady.
Yeah.
Who's gonna keep you
from spending
the money, huh, Pete?
I thought about
that too, Garvey.
That's why I set up an escrow
account for each of you.
Easy f*cking does it.
And you're gonna need a coach.
I'm not doing it, all right?
There's no f*cking way.
You need to pick out a team name
so I can order the jerseys.
Everything starts in five days
and none of this
interferes with our program.
Mm-hmm.
Cruise.
I want to apologize
for being an assh*le, man.
Hitting your chicken wing
out your hand like that
across the room wasn't cool.
If there's anything
I can do to make it right,
let me know.
Morris, Garvey,
same with the sock thing.
It was childish.
I didn't mean to cause
no friction between y'all.
We family.
That's right.
That's right,
that's right, that's right.
That's right.
I love you too, bro.
And it's okay.
And I'm sorry
I tried to m*rder you.
Felt good. Felt good.
Anybody else
want to make amends?
How about
Sweet Dreams Backdoor Sliders?
I'm not playing unless
I get to pick the team name.
And you guys can't win
sh*t without me, so...
Whatever, Garvey.
He's right.
Garvey...
I'm sorry
I pissed in your pillow.
That was hilarious.
And?
And I can
make it up to you?
All right.
Be the coach, Big Time.
I appreciate the sentiment,
but I'm not the guy.
But you did ask
if you could
make it up to him, Morris.
Be the coach.
Be the coach.
Be the coach!
Be the coach!
Be the coach!
Be the coach!
Be the coach!
- We have to practice.
- Yeah!
I'm gonna draw
a big f*cking schlong
on my bat.
Why?
You're already
a huge d*ck.
m*therf*cker.
- Get one.
- Hot out here.
Mike D.
Nice, Mike.
Mike D.
Right in the pecker.
f*ck!
I felt that.
First base!
Oh, boy.
I have about six days
and, uh...
Nice!
Hope I get to seven.
All right, Pete.
Get two.
Get on base.
Touch it. There you go.
Throw it.
First, first. Come on!
Come on.
You're not even
trying, Cruise.
I couldn't see it!
Might as well put
a lawn gnome on first base.
What the f*ck?
"Field of Sweet Dreams."
- Too wholesome.
- "Fever Pitch."
Yeah.
Got under it.
f*ck!
That's all you, Stew.
Whoo!
My sister says...
Come on, man!
What the f*ck?
"Come Together."
"Come Together."
Yeah, by The Skeatles.
Yeah!
Load up on that back foot.
Drive off the back foot, okay?
You've taken enough balls to the face.
Let's go!
Back arm...
Back leg and push.
"Fentanyl in the Family."
How about
"No Glove, No Love?"
It's about sex.
Come on.
Let's hit a Hobbit home run.
Cruise.
How the f*ck
are you hitting them shits?
I'm pretending
that they're rice balls.
Good to see you.
You're Morris, bro?
Morris, yeah.
Dudes,
you guys have no idea.
I literally peed in the bed
every night for years.
I used to take
this workout pill filled
with ephedrine-- it's speed.
And I used to drink,
pass out,
but my body would keep going.
I pissed in corners,
laundry baskets,
women, some guy named Benji.
He's my half cousin,
but we still f*ck--
Fellas, jerseys.
Yo, let's go.
We didn't even
pick a name.
What the hell?
No f*ckin' way.
They must've f*cked it up.
Are you serious, bro?
Well the C is pretty close
to the D on the keyboard, so...
I can fix them.
sh*t, I figured
you'd love them.
Someone better
fix this sh*t.
I kinda like them, bro.
Come on, bro.
Me too.
This is sus.
Okay, guys.
Let's bring it in.
Gonna take the field
and practice a little defense
before the other team gets here.
Yo, you think we got here
early enough, bro?
What the f*ck else
do you guys have to do today?
Get some Vitamin D,
Mike D.
Oh, you know it.
Guys, let's not forget
about 80 f*cking grand!
Eighty grand, baby.
Eighty Gs!
That's the only reason
I'm here.
Come on, Dip.
Holy sh*t.
Man,
look at these fools.
I've always played better
with a buzz.
Sweet Creams!
Nice team name.
Hey,
the jerseys are a hit.
Hey.
Morris?
Yo, it's Bobby Busby.
What's up?
Yo, this fool is crazy.
Good to see you, bro.
Yo, you used to do
that thing
with your ball sac.
He whips the sh*t out
and then stretches it,
and right before
you take your sh*t,
he'll set his beer on
his stretched-out ball sac.
He uses his stretched-out
ball sac as a coaster.
It's good to see you, man.
Are you still in Venice?
No, I live with these guys.
All of 'em?
Something like that.
Cool, man.
Hey, we're about to
whip your ass
like I used to whip you
in pool.
Let's go!
A human coaster?
I'm gonna have to
try that one, bro.
Don't get testy, Morris.
Nobody put any drinks
on their testicles.
All right,
let's keep it clean.
Okay?
I know we're playing
for some dough here,
but it's still softball.
All right? So listen up.
Pitches must clear
the height of the batter.
Okay? Count starts
one and one.
No leading off.
No bunts.
And if the ball
goes out of play,
that's only one extra base.
Not two. Not three.
All right?
Sweet Creams?
Really?
All right.
Got your lineups?
Here you go.
Everybody's batting.
I'm only counting eight.
What?
We had nine when we--
What the--
Hold on.
Yo, who are we missing?
Stacey looked pretty wobbly
when we left the bar.
We left her?
f*ck.
Uh, it's cool.
Um, so we forgot someone.
We're gonna play with eight.
Sorry, my man,
you gotta have nine.
You got about five minutes
to figure out
what you're gonna do
before you guys gotta forfeit.
I don't know,
ask Sweet Creams here
if they have an extra guy.
No.
Get one here.
Here you go.
Thanks, man.
I'll pay you later.
My money's in escrow.
No problem.
Hey, Sweet Creams.
Lucky day for you idiots.
You win by forfeit.
Eso!
All right, all right.
Enjoy your victory.
All right.
Let's go home, fellas!
Hey, Blue!
Yeah?
Can we play anyways?
Whatever they want to do, man.
I don't give a sh*t.
I'm getting paid either way.
Yo, ding-dongs!
You guys want to play anyways?
I mean, we're already here.
f*ck yeah!
All right, fellas, come on.
Let's do it!
Yeah, guys? Come on.
Come on, buddy.
Let's have some fun.
All right.
We bat first.
Whoo!
Jake, you're up.
Come on, Jake!
Jakey!
Come on, Jake!
- You got this.
- Hey, Morris!
No d*ck tricks!
We got chicks on our team!
All right.
Good times.
Level swing, Jake!
Come on, Jake.
You got it, baby.
Let's go, Jake!
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Come on, Jake!
You let a drunk girl
throw you out?
Come on, Diego.
Come on, Diego.
Strike, batter out.
You have to swing.
Hey, you're out.
Back to the dugout.
You're out.
Oh. Thanks.
That's you, Mike D!
About to take my nuts
for a walk.
He's like running,
but slower.
Way to hustle, bro.
I let f*cking Mardi Gras
get me out?
Jesus Christ.
Next time.
Way to hustle, buddy.
Got it, got it, got it, got it.
f*ck!
Oh, man.
Oh, sh*t.
Somebody throw it!
Do better, man.
Do better!
Oh, come on.
Ball. Take a base.
I f*cked your mom
last night, bro.
Ball.
Ball. Ball.
Come on.
Take a base.
f*ck!
Nice catch, dickass!
The f*ck you just say?
Yo, yo, chill.
What the f*ck?
You m*therf*cker!
...outta your g*dd*mn mouth!
Okay!
Hey! Hey!
Knock it off.
Not on my field!
Pete, chill out.
Clear it out
or you're both disqualified.
We know, Pete. Damn.
Chill, man. We know.
Ump,
you got ex-cons out here?
Stewie, what was up
with that catch, bro?
For real. You been
holding out on us, bro.
We weren't that bad.
Did you see the score?
We got our sh*t rocked.
Yeah,
they were drunk as sh*t.
Don't forget.
Later, pussies!
Yo, they f*cking sucked, dude.
f*ck you.
Yo, we got a gift today.
That's some higher power sh*t,
huh, Pete?
Yeah, my little miracle.
Pussies?
Man, f*ck that noise!
sh*t, even when we win,
we lose.
sh*t, I don't know, bro.
Looks like I got
a car full of p*ssy.
I need to get
some methadone, boys.
- That's crazy.
- f*cking Garvey's stupid.
Look, I don't know
if I'm the one
to be coaching this team.
Stop it, man.
You're undefeated.
Oh, God.
Hello?
Yeah.
Pete! Phone!
He's not here.
This is Pete.
Yeah, this is
definitely a mistake.
Yeah.
We'll get it taken care of.
You too. Thanks.
What was that about?
He said the house
is going up for auction
in three weeks.
- What the f*ck?
- Coming down!
The house is
going up for auction.
Just dropped the kids
off at the pool.
Barbarians were at the gate.
Why is the house
up for auction?
What the f*ck, Pete?
Auction? What the f*ck?
It's not what
you guys think, okay?
What's going on?
Just take a deep breath.
Let's see Pete try
and weasel his way
out of this one, huh?
This is not a high-priced
sh**ting gallery.
What does that mean?
It means this is not
a place that collects
large sums of money
just to screw guys over
and let them out
into the world
and relapse and die.
I'm trying to create
lasting change with you guys.
Sometimes when you have
a balanced amount of guys,
it just doesn't create
a fortunate income. Okay?
Some of you know
that my dad's been sick,
and I dug myself into a hole.
Consolidated the mortgage
a couple of times,
and I'm in
a little bit of a spot.
Man. Put everything
I have into this place.
Maybe that's why
I was on edge at the game.
I'm sorry.
You got ten guys here right now
that need this place.
Without this place,
we all gonna die.
Don't be so dramatic, Jake.
You're on
a f*cking scholarship anyway.
Wait, I'm paying
for Jake to get sober?
Your mom's paying, bro.
I'm on a scholarship too.
We can't all have rich parents.
She's spending my money?
Okay. That money's mine.
Dude, I got nowhere else to go.
The only place I can
afford to live is the Valley
and I'm not moving there.
- My plug lives there.
- Eighty grand.
- Eighty grand.
- Yeah.
The tournament.
Eighty grand.
- That's genius, Stew.
- Eighty Gs ain't nothing.
Guys, just let it go, okay?
Just please let it go.
No way are we
f*cking letting it go.
I don't wanna go
to another sober living.
We are 1 and 0, and it is
a double elimination tournament.
That's what
I'm talking about, bro.
We're close.
That's what I'm talking about.
f*ck, I'm really sorry, guys.
f*ck that bad attitude.
You're always talking
about a positive mental state.
Let's win this m*therf*cker.
How you gonna quit on us?
Lace 'em up, bitch.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Okay.
- Hell yeah!
- Let's do it!
Yeah, you f*ckers!
sh*t, this is it.
You said our man Morris
used to be a big-time
music video director?
I never heard
this sh*t in my life, G.
Bro, this was
triple platinum in '95.
You need to stop
orbiting the planet Dip
and join the rest of us
in the universe.
Man, they used to
give out plaques like hotcakes
back in the day, bro.
Yo, Morris, this you?
The underwear model say
you a big-time director.
Oh, you famous famous, huh?
Our boy Morris used to
be the man.
- Yeah, used to be.
- That's cold.
- Don't be a hater, dude.
- Whatever, bro.
Yeah?
Song's gonna be
stuck in my head all day.
Think quick.
Congrats,
you're off restrictions.
Seriously?
Yeah, man.
Way to step up with
the softball, chores and sh*t.
You might make it outta here.
I don't think I've been
more than two days
without drinking
in the last 15 years.
It gets better.
Oh, better than Sweet Dreams?
I know it's hard to imagine,
but it gets better.
f*ck.
Hi, Dad.
I miss you a lot.
Don't tell Mom I called
'cause she's really mad at you.
I'm sorry
I got you in trouble.
I'd better go.
All right,
let's get it started, yeah?
All right, welcome to FRAG.
"Fear, resentment,
anger and gratitude."
What we like to
call in our version
our tenth step.
All right, Ced.
Doing good?
Yeah.
Nice of you to join us.
Why don't you get started, yeah?
Serious?
Yeah.
f*ck.
Um, Cedric.
Addict. Alcoholic.
- What's up?
- Ced!
Um, fear.
I think we all got
the same fears.
But for real, f*ck that team.
They get to go out every night
and have fun and drink.
Chill with girls and sh*t.
Meanwhile, we're sitting here,
a bunch of sober dicks
not doing sh*t.
They smoked us too,
in case y'all forgot.
Like a cr*ck rock.
What about gratitude, Ced?
I'm grateful.
I didn't go 0 for 5 like Diego.
You gotta learn
how to swing, my G.
Oh, he swings.
All right, easy, Mike. Easy.
Oh, come on.
Jake.
Alcoholic and K fanatic.
Jake.
f*ck those guys.
And f*ck that girl
for calling us pussies too.
But why?
Why does that bother me?
Is there a way to use my anger,
but do it with
dignity and integrity?
I'm grateful we one and nothing,
but I can't lie to y'all.
I'm definitely scared of
that next team though.
Tom.
Alcoholic and food bitch.
Cruise.
I had fun at the game.
I know I suck,
but it was the first time
I had fun
doing something active
in, like, forever.
And you guys
are a great group.
And you have no idea
how much you've helped me.
I wake up hating myself.
Yeah.
It takes me so much to get
out of bed on a daily basis.
But when you guys make fun
of each other, and me,
it literally keeps me going.
You guys inspire me.
And I know
I have to lose weight.
I'm scared,
but I-- I have to try.
I mean, I've been here,
what, five years, Pete?
Seven.
Seven.
And, Morris,
I'm so grateful
you showed up here.
You've had such
a big impact on me.
You f*cking rock, dude.
And I-- I'm afraid to
lose the house,
I really am.
It's a major fear for me.
Put Stew on first.
I f*cking suck!
I f*cking suck.
I f*cking suck.
You don't suck, bud.
But, Stewie, you did have
a sick snag though, brother.
That's right.
That's right. That's right.
Wanna follow that, Morris?
Not really.
Morris. Alcoholic.
Morris.
Fear. Uh...
I'm scared my ex
won't let me
see my daughter again.
I'm scared
I won't work again.
I'm scared
I won't be inspired.
I have so many doubts.
And I'm so mad at myself.
Because
I f*cking know better.
But whenever the opportunity
to drink comes up,
my brain somehow forgets
how unstoppable
the debauchery is.
How many times
I've driven drunk
with my daughter in the car?
Like totally wasted.
Not just a little.
And when I fell over
on my bike
when she was on the back
and she was three years old.
And she cried and she cried.
And I just tried to shake it off
and tried to make her laugh
like some f*cking idiot.
I'm a little lost right now.
Thanks.
That's it.
sh*t, I'm sorry.
I'm grateful.
I'm grateful to
be here with you guys.
I've had
these tiny, tiny moments
where my mind gets quiet.
I'm hoping
for more of those.
Thanks.
- Nice.
- Nice.
Well done, brother.
My man Morris.
Why you really
out here, Morris?
Trying to figure out
what to tell my little girl.
Like, how do you say,
"Hey, sweetie,
Daddy's
got a drinking problem
and that's why
he left you home alone
for 12 hours"?
That sounds pretty good
right there.
I never knew my dad.
Probably why
I'm so f*cked up.
Yeah, when my dad d*ed
that f*cked me up too.
Yeah, let's do it!
What's up, babe?
- This f*cking guy.
- Hey!
Daddy's home.
Let's go. Reno, baby.
That is no good.
Weird night, huh, Morris?
Definitely.
All right,
you got eight minutes.
Loosen up.
Anybody heard
from Garvey?
g*ng,
you know he's locked up
in a hotel room in Reno.
Say goodbye to the house.
Never thought
I'd be missing Garvey.
Yo, if anyone needs
to be positive right now,
it's you, Pete.
Pull it together, man.
You're right, Mike D.
You're right.
Let's get it together, boys.
- Honestly, we're kind of f*cked.
- Come on, now.
I'm gonna put Stew at first.
And let's have
Diego pinch-run for
any of you slowpokes.
We gotta
score some runs, guys.
If we score,
we have a chance.
Defense is getting better,
so let's do this.
All right.
Go get it.
So let's do this.
Let's go.
Come on, man!
All right.
Come on, Dip.
f*ck.
Safe. You don't
high five the other team.
It's not something
you do in softball.
They're doing so great.
I said not on my field.
Okay.
Let's go. Run.
Safe.
Wait.
Go back, go back, go back!
f*ck.
Strike!
Should I bunt it?
Don't dare bunt.
No,
there's no bunting.
He's out.
No bunting.
Run, run, run, run, run!
Run, Stew, run!
Run, run, run, run!
Get back, get back,
get back, get back!
What are you doing?
Ball.
What?
Ball.
It was obviously
a f*cking strike.
It was obviously
a f*cking ball!
What are you, blind?
What, you got
sunscreen in your eyes?
Hey, look at my eyes.
Twenty-twenty vision, bitch.
That was a ball.
Twenty-twenty, my ass.
Look right here,
20-20 vision!
Whatever, you look like--
Twenty-twenty vision!
Back off of me!
Why don't you put
some Tic Tacs in your mouth?
You want out of this game?
I want out of this game.
I don't give a sh*t.
What, Morris?
It was obviously a strike!
- Relax, man.
- Apologize.
All right,
I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry.
Relax, man.
Chill, bro.
You sure as hell are.
f*cking
Pebbles' grandmother.
Safe.
Ball game.
Why?
Go home.
Mercy rule. Mercy rule.
What?
Mercy rule.
What is that?
Mercy?
We want more pain.
They've got too many runs.
You can't catch up.
- That's game.
- Mercy rule, guys!
Look it up.
g*dd*mn it!
Go home.
I gotta sh*t.
Let's get all our sh*t
out of the dugout.
It's called
cognitive dissonance.
The wanting to quit,
but not being able to.
You know
I got arrested twice
during the pregnancy?
A nude pier jump.
And a DUI
in my parked car, bro.
It was hell for me.
Even more hell for his mom.
Spiritually,
one of the lowest places
I ever been.
And with
a beautiful little boy
on the way.
But I can't get caught up
in the couldas, shouldas.
I got a real chance now,
Morris, to be a rad dad.
I like that.
You're so lucky
you don't gotta get sober.
You're already doing it.
Kids, they'll love you
no matter what.
And if you can stay sober,
it'll make it
way less painful for them.
Kiedis lights me up.
His mom and me
still have hiccups,
but we're getting better
at the co-parenting thing.
I'm connected with some
sober guys that got kids,
so it really helps
give perspective.
Plus, there's always
some guy
that's been in
the same place I'm in now.
And someone with
a way worse situation.
Kiedis, like Anthony?
Hey, I know, right?
His mom's a huge
Chili Peppers fan.
The kid looks like me,
so the fear that Anthony Kiedis
is his father...
...that sh*t
did not last long.
I always wanted to
direct a Chili Peppers video.
You've surfed before, right?
It's been a minute.
Hey, Jake!
Oh, hey, Kat, what's up?
Hey, that's Kat.
Kat does what I do.
Surf therapy.
All right.
Think I'm gonna go out.
I'm gonna stretch.
What's going on,
you two?
Man.
You guys didn't catch
one single wave.
I'm catching rays.
This is my happy place.
Surf. Therapy.
Feel like
I've been tricked.
You're just doing
way too much, my man.
Maybe slow down.
It's fun though,
right?
Yeah.
I'm gonna go
put my feet in the water.
You're pretty new?
Well, I used to surf
with my dad a lot
when I was young,
but it's been
more and more rare
over the years.
I'm talking about sobriety.
Yeah. Uh...
Twenty-three days,
I think.
I just got a year.
Oh, congrats.
You're at a sober living
for girls?
Was. I'm out now.
Got my own pad.
Trying to work things out
with my ex.
Still do surf therapy
with the girls from the house.
I have a hard time
seeing you at a place
like Sweet Dreams.
Misery doesn't care
what you look like.
What do you like, man?
Jazz? Hip-hop?
You look like
a blues kind of guy
though to me.
I want to be sober.
I want to be
a rad dad to my little girl.
That's great to hear,
man.
I heard this guy
the other day
say this at a meeting--
"Argue for your own limitations
and you get to keep them."
- We're out of time, guys.
- Thanks, Mike D.
Big B.
What's up, homeboy?
You know, I probably
would've been
more shaken up
had I not been so wasted
from the night before.
I got so f*cked up
on an international flight,
I woke up
on the beach in Brazil
and I was married
to a prost*tute.
Oh, dear.
I might still be.
Sounds like
you got your hands full, man.
Just stay close.
If you go all in on this,
you're gonna be amazed.
You're gonna find
that your old dreams,
they become
very different new dreams, man.
And you know what?
You'll start
caring about other people.
You won't be
a self-centered prick anymore,
burning bridges all over town.
I, um...
I was gonna maybe ask
if you could be my sponsor.
You know, all the signs
point to me taking
this sober thing seriously.
I'll be your sponsor
under two conditions.
One, you call me every day.
Call me, don't text me.
I'm too old to be squinting
at my f*cking phone and sh*t.
And two, don't lie to me.
Morris, if you lie to me,
we're done.
Okay.
No, I mean,
if you lie to me, we're done.
I got it.
Okay.
f*cking Christ.
Do you want to eat?
'Cause I want to eat.
Yeah, I could eat.
Yeah, he can eat!
Yeah.
f*ck yeah.
Let's eat, dude.
You got a big book?
'Cause I got some pages
I want you to read.
Jesus! What the f*ck?
Guess lunch is out.
Sweet sh*t, it looks like
f*cking Chernobyl in there.
Hey, you guys can't go in there.
We're closed for a while.
Some assh*le drove
his truck through
the wall a few weeks ago.
Just waiting for insurance
to come and take some photos.
In the meantime,
I'm just trying to air it out.
Morris, let's go.
What the f*ck, man.
Come on. I'm starving.
That place across the street
is pretty good.
They got half the recipes
from here anyway.
Right.
I'm not really hungry anymore.
Do you think
we can just go back
to the house?
You're a weird guy,
Morris.
I know.
I know.
Let's go.
Boom. Sweet Dreams, kid.
This is where it all happens.
Hey.
You sure you're okay, Morris?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
Uh, I'll call you tomorrow.
We got a lot of work to do.
Turns out our stories
are more alike
than we thought, you know.
Thanks for the lift, Frank.
Okay.
Yo, Pete!
What the f*ck, bro?
They put a sign up
for the auction.
Oh. Oh. Oh!
Yeah!
Boom, baby, boom!
Come on, baby.
Let's go!
Strike zone.
Happy birthday, dude.
This is a lot.
You gotta lighten up, buddy.
Everybody love bowling.
There's girls here.
Plus, this is better
than sitting at home
watching Cruise
eat f*cking pizza rolls.
Damn, Stew, I see you.
Yeah, that's right.
This is Raquel.
All the Roughhouse girls
are down there.
Hey, I'm Jake.
Hey, Raquel.
Morris.
Is Kat down there too
or what?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll be right back.
All right, Dippity Doo.
Ow!
Come on,
come on, come on.
Hello, everyone.
Didn't know
the Insane Clown Posse
had a bowling team.
Morris, just the man
I was looking for.
Okay.
We haven't met,
but I've heard a lot about you.
Hmm.
I'm Bert,
D. Squiz's manager.
I'm sorry. Who's D. Squiz?
You living under a rock?
Yeah.
Follow me.
Hey. Hey.
Isn't that
D. Squiz's dude?
How the f*ck you know that?
The Internet.
So my director bailed
last minute
to do some Marvel sh*t,
so I'm f*cked.
Bert told me
you're the man, though.
I'm making fun of
all the '90s bands.
I really want it
to feel like that, okay?
I got a big-ass budget.
It's gonna be on some MTV sh*t.
And you guys want me?
We don't care
what anybody else says.
You're the guy.
It's all set up
for Saturday.
All you gotta do
is show up.
Saturday, this Saturday?
Like, this Saturday.
sh*t.
All right?
Hey.
Are you in or are you out?
I'm gonna need
all you guys to blow!
Dip, Cedric, Morris,
you're on the pee list tonight!
Aight, bet.
Yo, next time I'm gonna get
a turkey though, watch.
Take a leak.
Hey, you get her number?
I got her IG,
but she already blocked me.
f*ck!
Here you go.
Thanks, Morris.
Dip.
Yes, sir.
Weird. It's coming up
hot for opiates.
Hmm. Yup.
There something
you need to tell me?
I ate a poppy seed bagel
the other day.
You know what?
We'll just talk
after Cedric gets done.
Get out of here.
Wait for me over there.
Ced, come on.
Here you go.
Not so fresh,
but it's clean.
Damn, Dip.
Told you not to eat that bagel.
Hey, Jake.
Put these samples
up for me, okay?
And take
the Breathalyzer equipment
and put it up too.
All right, Pete.
Thank you.
You know, once
we send those samples
over to the lab,
we'll be able to trace
if it's a bagel
or something else.
f*ck.
Oh, f*ck. Jesus.
What's up, boys?
The f*ck?
Oh, yeah,
you guys made it!
Jake to
the m*therf*cking rescue.
More like Kat to
the m*therf*cking rescue.
What's up, girl?
Why didn't you tell me?
Man, you got a lot
going on as it is,
so I just wanted to
look out for you.
Diego, do you got our uniforms?
Yeah, they're right here.
Meet Syd and Lily.
- Hi.
- Hi, Syd.
I'm Cedric.
Nice to meet you.
Hello.
Hi. Diego.
Tom Cruise.
I'm Dip.
Uh, who's that?
Stew.
Aw, we love Stew.
Okay, guys, and girls,
we've been playing
pretty good on defense lately,
so let's stick with that.
Just get hits. Small ball.
We need base runners.
Stop trying to
win the game in one at bat.
And I don't need
to remind everyone
that if we lose today,
we are done
in more ways than one,
so let's--
Then stop reminding us,
bro. It's depressing.
Yeah,
we don't need a pep talk.
Let's just go m*rder
these m*therf*ckers.
Wait,
I'm not wearing this.
What?
I worked hard on those.
I like it.
All right,
let's do this.
Kat, you're leading off.
Let's get to it.
Let's do it, Kat!
Come on now!
Here you go, Kat.
Aw, f*ck.
That's all you, Kat, come on!
That's all you!
Let's go!
Hustle! Hustle!
All right!
Hold on line drives
and watch pop-ups.
All right.
Here you go.
I got it!
Ball game!
We got two more games!
We got two more games to win!
Yahoo!
All right!
Let's go, Kit Kat!
Give me some!
Nice work!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Two runs!
Maybe we should try to get it in the gap.
Go, baby, go!
Safe!
Hey.
You again.
Um, we're still closed.
Right. Is the owner here
by any chance?
Will!
Guy wants to talk to you.
What's going on, brother?
Hey.
My name is Morris,
and I'm in a program.
And my sponsor suggested
that I come down here
to tell you
that I may be the person
that caused all this damage
to your place.
You're purple pants guy?
Yeah.
And part of my recovery...
If there's anything
I can do to make it right,
I'd like to offer
that up because I'm...
Hey, Frank,
you're not gonna believe this.
The owner is sober!
I have to work out the damages,
but, you know,
he's not gonna call the cops.
And I still have to figure out
whose truck I crashed, but...
Oh, God,
this is great, isn't it?
Frank? You there?
Ah, sh*t.
Frank! Hey!
You're not gonna believe this,
but the owner is sober.
I don't know how the hell
you guys pulled this off.
A lot of luck though.
How's your old man?
He's better.
I think the in-and-out
of the hospital was worse
than him being sick.
Mmm.
My dad,
he was so defiant.
Just always out
partying with his friends
and always hiding
from his family.
Never showed anybody
any pain.
Then he f*cking
has a heart att*ck
from eating
too many hot dogs.
Sorry about your dad, Morris.
I'm impressed, man.
I mean, when you first got here,
I was like,
"This guy has
no sh*t of making it."
I mean, you were so warped
in the image that you created.
Well, the guys
shut that down real quick.
You know,
I thought I was so cool.
I'm a dork.
Thirty days.
It's a big f*cking deal, man.
You're working the steps
with Frank, yeah?
Yeah, you know,
I'm still freaking out
over the truck
I stole and crashed,
but Frank says
if I have one foot
in the future
and one foot in the past,
I'm sh1tting on
the present, so...
Remember,
what you focus on will grow.
Like the connections
with these guys.
Just go
where the love is, man.
Go where the love is!
I'm thinking of
stacking the lineup.
What?
I mean, you're the coach.
Things have been going so well,
it's kind of odd
to change things up.
That doesn't help.
Come on, man,
you're a baseball guy.
Like, what if
something happens to me?
I have
a stroke or something.
Stroke?
The f*ck outta here.
You put that out there,
what's the matter with you?
Oh, man,
what am I gonna
tell everybody?
Here you go. Thank you.
Bye.
Damn, Morris.
f*ck.
Hey, y'all seen
a tall white guy
with gray hair and glasses?
Nah, sorry.
- Damn.
- Game time!
Let's go, guys!
Where the f*ck
you at, Morris?
All right, let's go.
Game time!
All right,
bring it in, everybody!
Come on!
Come on, Cruise,
hustle in!
Come on, guys!
Uh...
Uh...
Has anybody seen
Morris or Diego?
I seen Morris chopping it up
with D. Squiz
at the alley the other night.
I knew some sh*t was slimy.
Why the f*ck
wouldn't you tell me?
You always tell me
to mind my own.
m*therf*cker!
Okay, we'll just, um, do
what we always do.
Uh, except I'll take
Morris's spot on the lineup.
Aw, hell nah. Come on, Pete.
We gotta wait for them.
They should be here by now.
He f*cked us for D. Squiz.
Hell no.
Uh, why don't we, uh...
Ced, you're up.
Hostage situation!
Morris sent me
on a wild goose chase.
Sorry, everybody.
My wires got crossed a little.
Drive it in, buddy.
Way to drive it home.
We'll talk later, Morris.
Yeah.
But right now,
Jake, you're leading off.
Switching things around,
everybody,
so we can score some runs quick
and get ahead of these pricks.
Hey, Morris!
Tell the chicks
they can come
celebrate with us later!
b*tches got the first round!
Gross.
f*cking hate that team.
You guys have history, huh?
Oh, yeah,
they b*at us pretty bad.
- With eight players, and they were wasted.
- That's right.
Coach, you really gonna put
Mike D, Stew, Cruise and Diego
back to back like that?
Hell yeah. Gives us a chance
to score five or six runs.
Without it,
we score two or three.
You know with them at bat,
we're gonna score zero.
Look,
you guys asked me to coach.
No time to start
doubting me now.
Come on, let's get out there
and do this. Come on!
Come on!
Come on. Come on.
Come on, Morris!
Safe!
Safe!
Move, you little sh*t!
Cruise, Cruise,
look alive!
Hey, not bad.
Congratulations.
We gotta figure out
how to stop these guys.
Or just keep up with them.
Go, Jake!
Safe!
All right,
shake it off, shake it off.
Come on, Morris!
Yeah, baby!
That's it!
Oh, my God!
Give me some, baby!
Whoo-hoo!
Come on, Kat, bring it in!
Whoo!
Come on, coach, baby!
Yahoo!
Whoo-hoo!
Out!
Hey, Morris,
this one's for your wife.
Hold him back,
hold him back!
Go to first,
go to first!
Ooh!
That's an out,
that's an out.
m*therf*ckers!
Come on now, bud!
Come on, Chuck Morris!
Come on, Richie.
Come on, Mor!
Let's go, Morris.
Come on, buddy.
Good eye!
Good eye, good eye, baby!
Go, go, go, go!
We got a run!
We got a run!
Let's go, Morris!
Thanks for this.
Daddy!
Hey!
Hey! There he is.
Morris!
Run, Morris!
Jesus!
Run!
Safe!
Whoo!
Yay!
Whoo, whoo, whoo!
Let's go!
Go, Coach! Come on, Coach!
Good job! Yeah!
Safe.
f*ck!
What's your Instagram handle?
All right,
come on, Sweet Dreams.
This is your last inning.
Let's go!
Let's go, Big C!
Come on, baby!
Come on, Ced!
Go, Cedric!
f*ck!
Strike one!
Oh!
Two more. Let's go.
We're f*cked.
Come on, Stew!
Come on, Stew, let's go!
Base rip, buddy, come on.
Let's go, Beef Stew!
Come on, buddy,
let's get a hit, baby!
- Come on, Stew!
- Come on, Stew!
Let's go, Stew. Base rip!
Base hit, buddy. You got this.
Safe!
Yeah, baby Stew, come on!
Give them that Stew shuffle!
Yeah! Whoo!
Thank you, God.
Come on, Diego.
Swing the bat, buddy.
Swing the bat.
Be aggressive.
You have to swing, dude.
Please.
- Strike!
- Good job, Richie.
Good form, I guess.
It's all right, buddy.
It's okay.
- At least you swung.
- All right, buddy.
Come on,
give me your best sh*t!
Come on, Diego!
Strike! Batter out!
It's okay.
It's all right.
At least you swung that time.
Who's up? Is it Cruise?
- Cruise!
- Cruise!
- You got it, Cruise.
- Come on, Tom!
- Come on, Cruise!
- Come on, Cruise.
Don't f*ck it up.
Okay.
Come on, Cruise.
Let's go, Tom.
Hey, good game.
The hell are you doing, man?
Hit the ball. Damn.
Come on, Cruise!
Better swing!
Come on, buddy!
Earn your keep! Seven years!
Remember that, please!
Come on, Cruise, come on!
You got it, Cruise.
You got it, Cruise!
Strike!
We have no sh*t.
There's no way
it's gonna happen.
Bring it in, outfield.
sh*t!
Safe!
Oh, sh*t.
Safe!
You okay, Cruise?
Hey, Pete. Come on.
He can't even get up.
You all right, buddy?
What hurts?
I think
I broke my a**l bone.
It's a tailbone.
You okay, man?
I broke both.
Don't be dramatic.
You got this.
Shake it off, buddy!
Shake it off!
All right,
all right, all right.
Nice and easy.
Looking good, baby.
Nice and easy.
All right, give this boy some ice!
You good?
Good job, Cruise.
Good job, dude.
Good job, buddy.
Good job, buddy.
Proud of you.
Diego.
I need you to pinch-run.
What? Are you serious?
Come on.
Come on, Diego.
You got it, you got it.
All right.
Mike D, keep it
on the ground, man.
All we need's a base hit.
Come on, Mike D!
Get us a rip, Mike D!
All right, it's okay.
It's okay.
Good job. Good job.
Hi!
Let's go, Mike D!
Swing, batter, batter,
batter, batter! Swing!
Strike!
It's all right, Mike D.
It's all right.
Line drive, Mike D,
line drive.
Get him, Mike D,
get him!
Put it on the ground!
Go, go, go! Go!
Go, go, go, go!
Run!
Diego, go, go, go!
Diego! Touch the plate!
Whoo!
Touch the plate!
Touch the plate, Diego!
The plate!
Baby! We did it!
Oh, baby!
Daddy!
Come here, baby.
Come here.
Mommy said it's okay
if we go get ice cream.
She did?
Someone's slowly
coming around.
Did you have
anything to do with that?
Do you mind
if I bring a friend along?
I'm not allowed on my own
just yet.
Of course
your friend can come, Daddy.
Let's go get
some ice cream.
Yay!
Oh, boy.
Yeah, buddy!
We did it, baby!
Whoo!
Not bad for a bunch of drunks.
Yo, Pete.
Yeah?
Are you sure we can't keep
just a little bit of the money?
Come on, man.
That's how it starts.
No. Nobody keeps
any of the money.
It's for the house.
Pete's silly.
Yeah.
Hear that, kid?
Go empty his pockets.
We won, baby.
Yeah!
Proud of you, Daddy.
- Thank you, baby.
- That's right, "Daddy!"
Friends forever.
Let's do this for Johnny, guys.
Let's do it for Johnny.
Johnny!
The gloves are off.
Don't make a f*cking animal
out of me now.
Okay, okay.
Half that.
Okay, okay.
Maybe.
f*cking sing. Sing.
Fully do it
one year sober. Again.
And nobody gets a dime
unless you did one year sober.
- The cash is a real liability.
- Do that again.
You do it again.
All right, yes, sir.
Watch this, Lije.
Watch this. You'll sh*t.
Do we need a little AC, or you good?
Nah, we're ready to go, kid.
Great, here we go.
Let's f*cking go.
You gotta learn
how to share, buddy.
I don't want to learn
how to do it.
Sick, sick people in here,
like the f*cking Mayflower.
Putting us in here, Pete.
Stacking them, huh?
Why don't you just
sell my back to somebody?
Let somebody lay on my back.
- Some drunk.
- Nobody's trying to sell your back.
Yeah, you're making money,
you little booze Scrooge.
You know what you're doing.
Did you give it one of these?
Huh?
No, but like this.
Oh!
I just caught it
out the side of my eye.
Like this.
I thought
you went like that.
Surf therapy.
Okay, let's go again.
g*dd*mn!
Ow!
f*ck!
Oh!
You all right, Cruise?
- I can't see!
- You can see.
Bro, that was
going to my d*ck, dude.
If you punch my d*ck, man,
I'm gonna get your d*ck.
I wasn't trying
to hit him in the d*ck.
Hi-yah!
I was defending myself!
Bully.
We have a good time.
Look at this f*cking guy.
Looks like an egg.
Look at this f*cking guy.
Brawny paper towel man.
What's up, George Clooney?
Welcome to the loony bin.
Yo, Pete, this rehab
or a retirement home?
Look at them grays, bro.
No f*cking way.
If Charles Bronson
and Jackie Chan
had a love child.
Can I say that?
You can.
You come to my place
all f*cked-up.
You know what this is, right?
I got a bunch
of degenerates in there.
They're barely holding on.
Smell a little bit
of lemon vodka,
they're all
back in the sewer.
Come here sh*t-faced?
Are you kidding me?
These guys smell
a little bit of vodka,
they go down the sewer.
You know that?
No,
being sober, douche.
No,
being sober, stupid.
I'm gonna draw
a big f*cking schlong
on my d*ck.
So gross.
Hello?
Chew. Chew.
Chew.
I'm getting Spike Jonze.
Foolish.
He looked foolish.
Third, third!
Okay, third.
Third, man!
f*cking idiot.
Third.
Third base, idiot!
Yeah!
Probably something left over
from that f*cking weirdo
that was in here before you.
Total ant farmer.
Used to keep his piss
in Ziploc bags.
Look at me while I slept.
Used to eat his own eyebrows.
That wasn't there before.
Ah!
Made it.
Turn it off.
Which one is that, yours?
Probably.
My wife's dying.
Lije, you left me
hanging earlier.
- f*cking dap that sh*t up, kid.
- Yeah, yeah.
Right after
he did a great take.
He was wanting a little...
In the future.
Way to go, Stew!
Way to go, buddy!
Hell yeah!
Like that?
That was nice.
Sweet Dreams (2024)
Moderator: Maskath3
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