01x13 - Trip Or Treat

[bunniefuu]

it's been 40 years since master alex has

left his chambers

how tragic he thinks only if serena has

one true love

one true love whatever he never even had

the guts to ask her out

loser well i think it's romantic you

would

i gotta go i've got a date with the

stable boy

hey alex take the picture already

uh sorry i was just uh

focusing

could you move your leg a little to the

left

how about this should i arch my back

more uh

no that's great

uh alex isn't film rewinding huh oh yeah

well we got some good ones i'll have

them back in a few days and we'll scan

them onto your website thanks for

helping me out with this no problem

i mean you obviously rushed here right

from work and everything

you still got your geeky work clothes on

actually

this is how i usually dress i didn't

want you to know because hey i'd be the

last person to judge somebody by their

clothes come on look at me what you look

incredible i mean

you've got a great look thanks but it

gives people really weird ideas about me

like i must worship satan or something i

mean i do have a pagan world view but

that's not the same thing or they're

like hey baby you suck my blood as if

i'm some poser and rice freak or some

spooky marilyn manson groupie

you know the pentagram has been so

misconstrued i know what you mean well

at least halloween's coming up it's like

the only time i fit in well i'll be glad

you have a holiday where you fit in

there's no national loser day oh

come on you're not a loser

actually you're pretty cool

oh yeah

oh i love halloween

all those fine bridge and tunnel tricks

dressed like vampires and crap hey baby

suck my blood suck it suck it

hey what happened that girl you met at

the parade last year

after she took off her makeup she was

definitely more trick than treat

i hate halloween chaka come on

no way i'm not even going outside what's

with you how can anyone hate halloween

see when i was a kid i had this arch

enemy bobby zangie i know him he was the

dry cleaners kit and he used to write

like all these obnoxious things in the

steam on the window of the store every

halloween he would get all these big

kids together and make my life a living

hell

uh let's not go in there think about

crappy old butterscotch lollipops

hey guys you ever take candy for the

baby

you suck

and you throw like a girl

it wasn't a big deal it's not like i

cried or anything ha chaka's afraid to

trick or treat screw you i am not

i'll be there

so i guess i'm stuck with the goblet

because at last count i have 95 pairs of

shoes

all black you know you could be wearing

i don't know like fuzzy house slippers

and you'd still be cool oh really even

the kind with the little bunny faces

well

the point is who cares what you wear it

doesn't define who you are

that's true

i mean like you

you're far more interesting than the way

you dress

uh

thanks i mean what's cool about you is

that you don't try too hard

yeah

i like that in a guy

yeah

yeah

so are you going to the halloween parade

i am i am i mean and if you are too well

we could always you know

go together

although you probably have other plans

oh no i'd like that you're kidding

i mean right on

sunny and share french poncho i'll be

back to pay third bit on the left hey

what's up jen look you have got to help

me find some stuff for my cops yeah yeah

you and everybody else hey hey hey buddy

buddy you put that clown nose there

consider it sold i'm serious

all right go what do you need

well start off i need some ash stroke

term preferably blue i'll settle for

green two pounds of glitter pair of

x-ray specs a dildo metal tube hey guys

yeah hi alex whoa jen this holiday must

be getting to you you look half dead oh

so does this mean you'll be drooling

over me or do i also have to play the

zither like your dream girl serena

you joke but guess who i've got a date

with i don't know destiny

no

serena ooh you were close oh right on

man does she know you have a date with

her i mean this isn't just another one

of your fantasies i asked her to the

halloween parade and she said yes you're

sure this isn't just a friend thing why

is it so hard to believe a sexy exciting

woman like serena could find me

desirable

okay i said i was going to the parade

and if she was too maybe we could go

together

i think that's a date

what's going on sir you have to try that

on with underwear

read the sign

god i can't wait for this damn holiday

to be over

hey ron you got my photos just got done

nice no wonder you got double prints you

looked at them quality control

you wouldn't believe the sh*ts this red

head dropped off last night oh my

collection is really expanding

she's pretty hot what did you uh have to

do to get her to pose like that

will you tell me

please i'm just helping her with her

website

actually we're gonna go to the parade

together yeah uh-huh like that's never

gonna happen no

really alex let me explain something to

you

in this cold uncaring universe there are

certain rules certain constants if you

will not unlike gravity one of these

brutal crushing absolutes is the fact

that we don't get chicks like that or

any ticks for that matter be content

with your place in the pit with the rest

of us well i got news for you i'm not in

the pit anymore i'm not like you guys

uh-huh

anyway i uh got a copy of the next star

trek movie script off the internet no

way

do they k*ll off riker

ah alex you'll always be one of

us wow

whoa good thing i caught you before you

broke out the lotion chaka oh like i'm

wrong

what do you want anyway well i need some

of your clothes to cut up for my old

school madonna costume

you know kind of that ratty look before

she got all hindi you have clothes uh

yeah but mine are nice hey you can't

just come in here what interrupt your

sicko fantasies for your information i

don't need to fantasize about serena

i got a date with it oh yeah right and i

have no plans for the weekend no i'm not

kidding we're going to the halloween

parade together get out of here you

finally made a move yep

are you sure this is just like a friend

thing why is this so impossible to

believe calm yourself so fine you're

going out

since you're the mac now i guess you

won't be needing this anymore

can i help you

alex

hey it's me huh

serena

yeah well you know i thought a lot about

what we were talking about the other day

and you were right i mean who really

cares how i dress

not me i'm tired of people judging me by

how i look oh and hey check out my shoes

they're not black

my old luck was attracting all the low

lives maybe now i'll finally find a

decent guy but once you get him you're

gonna go back to the old look right i

don't know i mean you got me thinking

that maybe i've been hiding behind the

clothes and the makeup

i mean i kind of like the newbie

leather chokers and corsets who needs

them right

yeah who needs him

you won't believe it but alex is dating

this

in the enterprise

you want to reprint it'll cost you five

bucks enlargement to 20 posters of 30

and we also have a deluxe package deal

that includes 40 wallet sizes yes please

12.

i still can't believe my brother might

actually get some and with the girl of

his dreams that is like so romantic i

can just see them walking together hand

in hand under the stars please alex's

only thought is how long is it going to

take to get into our fishnets

i don't know

maybe i should dump the whole website

i'm just perpetuating my old image you

can't

i mean it's so creative and artistic and

you put so much work into it well

i suppose i could leave it up

great

but i want people to think that they

could like me for who i really am

kind of like you do um yeah

yeah anyway we should make plans to hook

up for the parade

oh

that i'm not sure what i'm gonna go as

now that i've broadened my wardrobe i

have more options all right maybe i'll

even go as a blonde

um

i might not

be able to go

i mean i think i can go but i might have

to work late oh come on it's halloween

tell your creepy boss you're taking the

day off

or i could tell them no no that's okay

i'll do it cool

okay give me a call when you get up

tomorrow okay bye

what if the only reason i've been into

her is because of her dangerous exotic

look what does that say about me that

you're as much of a creep as the other

guy she attracts just about serena

by the way you took a few tasty sh*ts

the other day the one where she's

stroking the cherub oh nice how did you

know those pics are getting around my

friend damn that ron bless that rod

bless him while she's not even dressing

like that anymore in fact she's dumped

the entire goth deal wait wait wait a

minute you mean she's not hot anymore

alex dump her ass without the black

eyeliner and velvet and crap what's in

it for you nothing right goat i tend to

disagree you do yeah what's it matter

how she dresses alex if you're lucky

enough to meet someone and feel a

connection you can't let your

ambivalence get in the way of potential

bliss

plus it's all coming off anyway if you

know what i mean

you know goat you're right

sleazy but right thanks man i know what

i gotta do now

i'm so glad you guys agreed to come

trick-or-treating even though

technically we're too old yeah and like

technically no one's gonna give us any

candy anyway you gotta watch that stuff

there's some evil people out there they

put razor blades and dr*gs and all kinds

of crap and candy hey matt where's your

costume i'm not really into costumes see

one year my mom got me this cheap ass

rubber mask and he was supposed to be a

robot or something anyway the mouth hole

was way too small and i couldn't really

see so i kept trimming over pumpkins and

things like that you know what i mean

why didn't you just take it off no way i

wasn't gonna break the coat of halloween

what the hell is that it's like this no

matter how bad your mask is you have to

wear it all night and if you don't you

design it true enough that is so stupid

anyway it started getting dizzy right

next thing i remember all these cops and

paramedics all over me what i found out

later was that i passed out and my

friend thought i'd d*ed so he ran away

then some neighbors found me on their

stoop and called the cops

so we both hate halloween nah i dig

halloween you know it's cool i just

don't like dressing up and wax lips they

kind of freak me out too hey check out

those little cuties

hey kid you've had enough treats now

it's time for a trip

damn suck what you gonna do

oh my god chucka

how could you do that to that little

girl hey they did it to me when i was a

kid now it's my turn

she's gotta learn sooner or later that

life can be cruel besides i just saved

her like three cavities man you ought to

be ashamed of yourself

you got any zag nut in there

hey alex it's serena um i think you were

supposed to call

are we still going to the parade i got

to work at the comic shop so pick me up

there

if you're not there by six i guess i'll

just take off okay bye

hey frank it's alex yeah what's up you

are too fat to be godzilla you should

have been the blob shut up well you

don't even look like oh actually you do

uh

hold on a second

b*at it freaks we ain't got no candy i

bet he ate it all what's he supposed to

be anyway job with a hut more like

jabba's dancer yeah i got your job at

the hood right here

sorry alex i had to take care of some

business is serena there

no man

sharina just left damn was she

pissed well if you see her tell her i'm

on my way

no problem

saying that

cool

free

yo alex wait up

hey guys i'm kind of in a rush chuck is

in trouble when is she not oh really man

she bugged out on us big time and then

she just took off yeah we think the

candy must have been laced with

something nasty oh man but i have to

okay let's find her

go away we're out of candy

what's wrong with you people

goat

jen you gotta help me i fell asleep with

some incense burning and i accidentally

set my costume on fire oh this is all

that's left of it all right come inside

i was hoping you'd say that

come on give it to me i think this might

be a little tight oh then suck it in oh

man this is gonna be great

where did these chains go

oh

it's karma you know for stealing candy

from that little kid

karma what the

look we gotta track her down before

something happens yo alex there she is

chocolate over here chocolate girl

oh my god

out of my way

okay

okay

okay are you okay i'm okay

do you need help

you'll never get away

what the hell are you guys i'm jen can

you tell and i'm goat

hey baby if you and i were squirrels

would you let me bust a nut in your hole

ew

so what's going on you guys look freaked

out look chalk is tripping someone

slipped or some tainted candy man i hate

when that happens oh my god there's

chaka

oh god

chaka

i gotta cover man come on girls we gotta

help her here give me a hand okay

hey someone just grabbed my ass

chaka chaka

hey down here i can't look

come on down

hey alex

why you got no face come on down chat

everything is cool trust me no no you're

just trying to trick me like the bad

bunny

alex stress your feelings

oh be the hero baby

are you all right

come on talk to me are you all right

what are you supposed to be

some lame ass mommy or something

chaka we were so worried about you

come on guys let's get her home alex

don't worry about it man we'll make sure

she gets home safe right we gotta cut

thanks bro

i don't worry about it

bye

take care yeah all right take it easy

hey alex aren't you supposed to be on a

date with the princess of darkness i was

until my sister's latest crisis maybe

it's not too late to hook up with her

you gotta try man

hey i ain't stopping you

thanks i'm out of here

i made my pigtails too tight

god i smell like the floor of a bar

serena i'm glad i found you you won't

believe what just happened alex

so glad you can make it look i'm sorry i

missed you choco wow you look incredible

i i mean how come you're back to your

old look what can i say i missed wearing

black

hey this is jerry no jerry is dead

i am the stat uh-huh can i speak to you

alone

okay what

you gotta believe i didn't intentionally

blow you off i'm really sorry

okay

serena

i think you're really great goth or no

god

and

you're amazing

and i wish i could just

what i'm trying to say is alex jeez you

don't have to pour it on we're cool okay

you're still my friend i'll see you

around

come on lestat frankly sir i find you in

pertinent countenance quite tiresome

don't worry man the world's a big vag*na

so just dive in

what about that one over there just go

over and say hey blondie does the carpet

match the drapes

you know what

i will thanks

but alex i was just kidding

do i really sound like that worse

so you want to go get a beer

sure if you can stand to be seen with

yourself

hey what are these socks doing in here

uh they're for uh

enhancement they go in the front

oh man i love that carpet in drapes line

can i use it well it worked for alex

yeah it did

so you think he's gonna blow it probably

or if he's lucky she'll be the one shut

your mouth i'm just talking about alex

uh