01x13 - Fake I.D.

[bunniefuu]

previously on three South juice we're in

like college or something

you'd be amazed if it goes down here man

what's the capital of Thailand you want

if I drink enough the tax will go away

I had a man stud will be tenderized the

wall but I can't believe it's midterms

week already

seems like the semesters only half over

wouldn't be the first time a to number

two we gotta lose focus shows this

electrical outlet

did you just yeah you were nine or less

d*ck how does my ass look at me Oh

gambled and walk you

shut the hell up I love snoop dog it's

so fun good times

hey hey hey what the hell is wrong with

you guys uh-oh crash would you stop that

I can do anything I want nothing's gonna

happen to me

I'm covered alcohol involve it good

Father's Day all over again you

you're such an idiot

imbeciles illiterate jackass idiot did

you Bob that's when I called him a

couple of morons and left in a hospital

mean girls go to the bathroom they pee

out of the bus but that's where babies

come out

very

one of the most important stages of our

century

mine getting the attention I deserve

and to think I would want this to

freakishly handsome freshmen nobody well

if she didn't have kids why do they call

him Mother Teresa maybe she had to

change her name for the witness

protection program anyway the point is

she's dead so there's no way she could

be our cafeteria lady the right goats

are common the Redcoats are coming

what a foul and sua saucy oh my god

ed won the Stanley Cup the I got this

from the saloon uptown I've never seen a

milking stool this tall I can think of

at least three reasons why that's not a

stool it doesn't smell there's no worms

in it and it doesn't look comfortable

enough to sit on he went to a bar Wow

Wow what's it like go thank you gotta

see it take off this one contraption you

give his money

it plays musical Psalm sure it told you

about his trip uptown he's a big hero

but I tell you about my trip to Hannibal

Missouri and you just ignore me oh of

course they accidentally left out the

part about drinking tea on Aunt Polly

port you see they got a Farley pop there

that makes your head all canoodle plated

we gotta go up now why look at it he

went uptown and he's got all these up

sound stories he's got this whole uptown

thing going on I don't have any kind of

thing

nothing what about that thing on your

foot that fell off after I hacked at it

with a piece of broken glass anyway we

gotta go to the bar tonight

I don't know Stanford I'm supposed to

read The Great Gatsby for my English

class that is the lamest thing I've ever

heard and I own the complete collection

of CD by Adam Sandler but I already

bought the book they came with this cool

carrying case

fine read The Great Gatsby cuz that's

what little babies do a wee what does

harder College actually make people

dumber

what kind of slander Oh sue my advice

would be to just ignore it

your lawyers already tied up with your

suit against tickle-me-elmo

not one city tickle me now I can't

ignore it as God is my witness I will

vindicate the reputation of this campus

long as it doesn't get real pricey post

against the current borne back

ceaselessly into the past while that was

powerful well I guess I better start

reading it now playing my younger and

more vulnerable years I've done it

Bartek College will play host to a Nobel

prize-winning lecturer even Hawking

we couldn't get Hawking turns out the

campus isn't handicap accessible but we

got someone even better a Nobel Prize

winner who can walk Gustav von Clausen

never heard of him yeah well he's

probably never heard of you either

I want the whole lock endemic community

to know there's a genius on this campus

I mean because that dog that catches the

frisbee in his mouth L said he couldn't

come he's always full of lame-ass excuse

me Stanford I have to read a book

Stanford I have to study Stanford I

can't swallow that many fish hook lame

ass I gotta see some ID fellas there are

23 yeah I was a big boy so they skipped

me ahead from third grade to sixth grade

which they probably shouldn't fill it

because then I failed 6th grade seven

times

are you trying to bribe me

no forget what you just saw

the double-dip ladies

oh my god did you lose your kitchen no

it's a flyer for Gustav von Klaus and

here you are some kitchen nobody lost a

kitten someone of academic merit is

finally coming to barter for a series of

lectures I hope there are kittens in the

Great Gatsby I read The Great Gatsby

when I was 12

Wow you can remember that far back I

have no memories before the age of 19

you're 18

who are you mom there's a strange man in

my bedroom

welcome to barter College professor von

Clausen

how was your flight you mean bus ride

bus ride my assistant Linda must've

screwed up you did great we were

supposed to have a first-class ticket

you could have a suck up the feed boy

tell you what all your cost this week

come get his credit card number when you

sleep it in you don't really have to

sleep with him I can hear every single

stain and you can forget about my credit

card because I lost my wallet while I

was lugging this heavy bag all by myself

I guess you'll have to take a check man

everyone was in that fog saw a priest a

rabbi guy with a duck on his head

this doesn't look anything like you ah I

had that aging disease when I did that

picture okay young man Bobby's out I

gotta see

what's up dude you like work here or

something I've never seen you in here

before

let's see some ID

success event Claussen Wow drinks are on

the house for Nobel Prize winners hey I

guess that makes me a Nobel Prize winner

let's see here

what do people in bars order I'll have a

gin asam no wait a fuzzy novel you know

why she's give me a penile colitis

hey sweet I have a girlfriend comes in

at school and safely what the well there

are no more pages oh my god I did it hey

Joe

I just read a whole book and nothing

popped up I'm gonna accept the

revelation that we're all striving

towards something we'll never achieve

what did you say uh something about corn

Wow you read a big boy book my brain

feels different it hurts that could be

the awakening of your intellect or

possibly a tumor either way good for me

thanks Lars you go work on my book

report we'll other things still fresh in

my arm thing so Chancellor Rijkaard will

see you Friday at Ben Carson's lecture

oh did he win a Nobel Prize you forget

so many of them here I can barely keep

track anyway for me it's not about

prizes it's about the scientifical stuff

toodles ten thousands reputation is

going to do wonders for barter I got the

whole academic community coming to see

him to his Nobel prize-winning

experiment then you will eat your words

being b*at and I will be the one feeding

those words to you with a spoon or

something okay cut let me do that one

over again your life is not a movie

that's the kind of talk that will get

you a one-way ticket to the cutting room

floor is your beer Nobel Prize winner

now check this out let's eat salad Nobel

prize-winner

su6 king of Nobel Prize winners last all

everyone drink up hook up throw up kick

in I the feathers on dogs

Oh yellow green ski out stupid drunk son

big lousy hog ruin my love for them so

my best girl he was the better man

though had brains and look how could I

compete

I knew grocery shopping at this town

will lead to disaster gotta go get me

some cheap fries tell that cute leggings

guitar start saying look at that idiot

that's not an idiot

that's the Nobel Prize winner write our

own songs 5 drummer big-ass babe

somebody hit me I have been assaulted

just like my freckles I'll be here all

night

no really waiting for the cops they

don't care about me because I am fahren

dear God you could somehow see it in

your heart to the way my wig phantoms

for dis just you wake up you lame asses

get up and party for like it

yeah oh look what you made me do now I'm

on a roll

dude you missed it last night I was the

king of uptown everyone in the bar was

calling me by name

professor clown-faced that's great but

I'm trying to write a paper you totally

meant it but that's okay I'll take you

under my wing tonight make sure they

treat you right no short jokes a

wisecracks by a huge not have you always

been this annoying what's wrong with you

it's like I don't even know you anymore

you're all right mr. study or something

in the conservatory with the wrench

maybe I just want to make something of

myself I mean use my brain to

distinguish myself in the world of ideas

and ideas look you want to be a nobody

that's fun but my parents are paying a

lot of money for me to be here so I'm

not gonna just sit around and study I'm

going uptown fine nobody fine misses

nobody I said that mrs. nobody thing

because you love that book so much you

should marry her I think that was

implied hey Jess Lin done uh no italics

blood work TV magazine I'm out here in

the lobby oh good send him in oh no wait

a minute

have you sit out there for a while tell

him I'm in the middle of something make

it seem like I've got important stuff to

do you do realize I'm the guy who cheers

to you you invited me to see van Klaus

perform his Nobel prize-winning

experiment oh yes what have linda send

you in but not right away tell her I'm

in the middle of something really

important

I can't wait to get my paper back I read

the whole book I even circled and looked

up the words I didn't know great job now

really oh I'm sorry I left a few words

out what I meant to say was I thought I

had a great job until I read your paper

it's so bad I'm going to quit teaching

dal-gu only one kiss-ass guys my lecture

the groupies what I will destroy whoever

did this hey dude beer-thirty

I got that on the hat well well well

look who we have here mr. hawk town wait

that's me oh so now you're stealing my

name too

no you were right I've learned my lesson

the world of ideas can be an

intellectual wasteland oh why did I put

stuff like that in my paper good to see

you finally got your head on straight

he's with me

no problem professor jeez this is

nothing like move on rude don't work

just stick with me everyone loves me in

this place hey there chief

how's it going captain looking good

conquistador Wow

Stanford you've really done well for

yourself you're on a first-name basis

with everyone here

what up princess die watch it jerk Hey

You Know Who I am no I'm Professor

Gustav von clown face

leave him alone he is dr. dangers

disease

wait a second that was the professor I

don't know who the hell you Punk's are

weird unless you plan on spending least

$60 on stunk beer you better get out of

here

what are we gonna do we got to handle

this jealously at least people uptown

knew your name

nobody in my English class even those

who I am this one girl calls me move

this is a disaster

maybe I got a set more realistic goal

like your whole-- read one book and

become a genius thing well there's that

physics thing Joe was talking about you

want to go to that dude are you kidding

who won the physics award in high school

mmm Charlie Grady yeah but who sat on it

barter zoned Nobel Prize winner appears

to be a little late so of enemy time

please enjoy the amazing skills of Rosco

figures I bet there never was a Nobel

Prize winner at this school no Nobel

Prize winner in his right mind would set

foot on this campus oh you're wrong

you'll see Dean a heart I can't find van

Claussen anywhere have you tried looking

for him yes well I'm out of idea damn it

couldn't yet Lisa made a token

appearance you know like I do it my

mom's nursing home

there he is

that's the Nobel Prize winner yes yes it

is

everybody put your hands together

the seat was good

fine getting the attention I deserve

thank you I know many of you might think

I'm cool just because I was uptown and

you're right thank you

all right I pulled it off now whoever

you want just do your experiment what is

he doing I was mercury now check this

out the rumors are true how could I have

ever doubted King Beach I can see the

headline now barter College transforms

Nobel prize-winner into complete idiot

that's a little long I can trim it down

egghead no wait that's just a warm-up

guy Nobel guy is coming oh here it comes

now

why hello I'm professor one German guy I

like playing teeth bada makes you

smarter hey gene I read a whole book

well get back to being a nobody

that's okay we'll be no bodies together

yeah

hey it's the guy who drank the mercury

sweet I'm back oh and look who's with

him it's the guy who wrote the paper

that made the professor quit that's me

they say it's so bad that if you read it

you'll go insane hey I'm feeling better

take the tag off myself

you