[TV static drones]
[bright tone]
[upbeat rock music]
♪
[cheers and applause]
- Welcome, welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight!"
I'm John Oliver.
Thank you so much
for joining us,
and let us begin straightaway
with the United Kingdom,
a place whose very name
after this week's events
is beginning to sound
a bit sarcastic,
because the UK this week
voted to leave
the European Union,
a decision that
has shaken the world,
and not in
a "Muhammad Ali beating
Sonny Liston" kind of way.
More in a
"those IKEA meatballs you love
contain horse" kind of way.
And--and the fallout in Britain
has been swift and significant.
- The Brexit decision is off
to a bit of a rough start,
here in London, at least.
Stocks were in free fall,
the pound historically weak,
and the country's in the market
for a new prime minister.
- That's right.
David Cameron announced
he will be stepping down
in the wake of the vote,
which should make me happy,
but in this situation,
it doesn't.
It's like catching an
ice cream cone out of the air
because a child
was hit by a car.
I mean, I'll eat it.
I'll--I'll eat it,
but it--it's tainted somehow.
And--and before--
before you have any sympathy
for David Cameron,
you should know this whole vote
was his idea in the first place.
- We will give the British
people a referendum
with a very simple
in-or-out choice.
- Yes, Cameron proposed
the in-or-out choice himself,
which he normally only does when
he's deciding whether
to f*ck a pig's mouth.
And meanwhile--
meanwhile,
the Brexit vote has boosted
its two most vocal backers:
Nigel Farage, leader
of the UK Independence Party
and three-time cover model
for "Punchable Face" magazine,
and Boris Johnson,
a shaved orangutan
with Owen Wilson's hair.
And, before and after the vote,
both men drove home
a common theme.
- I believe that this Thursday
could be our country's
Independence Day.
- Let June the 23rd go down
in our history
as our Independence Day!
[cheering]
- Okay.
Just a couple of things there.
First, Britain was
already independent.
In fact, it's what many
other countries celebrate
their independence from.
And--
and second--
second, the sequel--
the sequel to the movie
they're quoting
actually opened this week
and features the wholesale
destruction of London,
which is beginning to feel
pretty f*cking appropriate
right now.
And I'm not even sure
the pro-Brexit camp
had planned on winning,
because the next day,
they started speaking
a lot more carefully
about the promises
that have been made.
You might remember
that campaign bus,
which read, "We send the EU
£350 million a week.
Let's fund our National
Health Service instead."
Well, here's Nigel Farage
the morning after the vote.
- The £350 million a week
we send to the EU--
which we will no longer send
to the EU--
can you guarantee that's
gonna go to the NHS?
- No, I can't, and I-I would
never have made that claim.
That was one of the mistakes
I think the--
the Leave campaign made.
- Oh, now you're telling us!
But it does seem
that Farage will not correct
factual mistakes when
they're on the side of buses.
I, therefore, would encourage
Britain to take out bus ads
reading "Nigel Farage
has spent hours trying to put
his own penis in his assh*le."
I presume he'll
be silent about it.
And while the benefits
of the Brexit may well
have been exaggerated,
the downsides could
be all too real.
Prominent figures in Scotland
and Northern Ireland
are advocating
for leaving the UK
and rejoining the EU.
Meanwhile, the EU
is understandably worried
about other member nations
making exits of their own,
so it may well negotiate
as hard as possible
to make an example of Britain.
Basically, it seems like whoever
the next UK Prime Minister
is going to be--
whether it's Boris Johnson,
or a r*cist teakettle--
they are going to be
in for a rough few years,
because once they invoke
what's known as article 50,
they have just two years
to negotiate their withdrawal
and future relationship
with the EU,
on top of which
they'll have to settle
outstanding bills with the EU,
hammer out new trade deals
with dozens of countries,
sift through thousands
of EU regulations
and decide which ones to keep,
and figure out how
migration will work,
and all the while,
lives hang in the balance.
Take this Portuguese woman who
has lived in the UK for years
and has built a life there.
- I have two daughters.
One was born in Portugal.
The second one was born
in the UK.
And they asked me this morning,
"Mom, what is going to happen
to us?"
And I told them,
"At this point, no one knows."
I don't know my future.
I don't know how
to explain my children
what is going to happen
to their future.
- Oh, perhaps I can help you
with that, 'cause it's easy.
Just tell them
that they might be screwed
because a pig-fucker
called for a vote,
a bus had some
bullshit written on it,
and then two idiots
named Nigel and Boris
quoted President Bill Pullman.
They'll get it.
They'll totally understand.
And it is--
it's frankly hard not to think
that some Britons may not have
fully thought this through,
especially when you look
at some of the top search terms
concerning the EU the next day.
- Some of the most
Googled questions in the UK
since the polls closed
last night:
"What does it mean to
leave the EU?"
and "What is the EU?"
- Okay,
that is clearly not good.
On the list of all-time bad
morning-after Googles,
that's got to be up there with
"Can I get pregnant
from mouth stuff?"
and "What is a swastika,
and also,
how do you remove a tattoo?"
And at least one person
who voted to leave
seems to have buyer's remorse.
- I was very disappointed
about the results,
even though I voted to leave.
Um...this morning, I woke up,
and I just--
the reality did actually hit me,
but if I had the opportunity
to vote again,
it would be to stay.
- Well, well,
you're actually in luck,
because it turns out,
incredibly,
there is going to be
another vote coming up,
uh, and it's happening
one week from--
of course there isn't!
That was the f*cking vote!
It wasn't a practice vote!
That was it!
And as if--as if all this
couldn't get any worse,
as the full impact
of what Britain had just done
was sinking in,
Donald Trump turned up
in Scotland to promote
his f*cking golf course.
And when he was asked
about whether he,
the presumptive
Republican nominee,
had any thoughts on the seismic
events unfolding in Europe,
this was his response.
- I think it's going to end up
being a great thing,
and the beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful thing is,
your people have taken
the country back,
and there's something
very, very nice about that,
and they voted,
and it's been peaceful,
and it was strong,
and very contentious,
and in many respects--
I watched last night,
it was a little bit ugly--
but it's been an amazing process
to watch.
- He--he just said
absolutely nothing.
Because--let me explain.
First, he said a Brexit
will end up being great,
which it very likely won't.
Then, he said the word
"beautiful" three times.
Then he said, "Your people
have taken the country back,"
even though he was in Scotland,
which overwhelmingly voted
to remain in the EU.
Then, he said,
"It's been peaceful,"
which it absolutely hasn't.
Then, he immediately
contradicted himself by saying
it's been "contentious"
and "ugly."
And then he summed
the whole thing up as "amazing."
Now, if he had simply breathed
audibly into the microphone,
the same amount of information
would have been conveyed.
And the thing is,
later that day,
he found a way to make
this whole thing about himself,
tweeting, "Many people
are equating Brexit,
"and what is going on
in Great Britain,
"with what is happening
in the U.S.
People want their country back."
And you might think,
well, that is not
going to happen to us
in America.
We're not going to listen
to some ridiculously-haired
buffoon peddling lies
and nativism in the hopes
of riding a protest vote
into power.
Well, let Britain tell you:
it can happen, and when it does,
there are no f*cking do-overs.
And now this.
- Guys, you know,
full disclosure--
I'm a little terrified
of clowns.
- I have a fear of flying.
- I'm afraid of drowning.
- I'm scared of computers.
- Nuns were raising me,
so I have a fear of penguins.
- Number one fear is elevators.
- I have a fear of two things:
mice and heights.
- Sharks.
I am terrified of them.
- As a kid I had, uh,
I was terrified of--
of quicksand.
- I have a fear of the snooze.
I have a fear
of losing gift cards.
I have a phobia
of being tickled.
I sweat through my dress.
- Are you scared of cats?
- I--I'm afraid of adult cats.
Everything I'm reading
in this prompter
terrifies me right now.
[lighthearted orchestral music]
- Moving on.
Moving on.
Our main story tonight
concerns the Olympics,
otherwise known as
your biennial reminder
that NBC exists.
The--the Rio games
are just around the corner,
so get ready for plenty
of sappy athlete profiles
like these...
female reporter:
Tori Bowie is a sprinter
climbing her way to the top.
Her success exceeds far beyond
the unkempt field
she started on in high school.
male reporter:
At his childhood pool,
there's still a bench
where he was forced to sit
and take time-outs,
but what others struggled
to contain in daily life
Phelps put to full purpose
when there was something
on the line.
male reporter: Burroughs is
powered by the elemental truth
of the sport
that fills his dreams.
- Yes!
Those videos
aren't just uplifting,
that's basically
inspiration porn.
That--that's what
a fireworks display watches
when it wants to jerk off.
But--but while
the Olympics feature thrillery--
thrilling displays
of athletic prowess,
they can also take place
beneath the dark shadow cast
by doping scandals,
and this Olympics
is no exception.
male reporter: According
to a report that reads
like a Cold w*r spy thriller,
Russian secret agents
and a mysterious
Moscow laboratory
were used for
state-sanctioned doping.
A Russian athlete and trainer
secretly filmed dr*gs being
handed out like candy.
male reporter: Russia
accused, staggeringly,
of using its
Security Services--
its new KGB--
to tamper with supposedly
tamper-proof bottles,
allegedly using this hole
in the laboratory wall
to switch samples.
- It's true.
A Russian lab used
a secret hole in the wall
in an attempt
to win Olympic medals,
making this the first known
example of a literal glory hole.
And--and just listen--
just listen to how the athletes
ingested some of the dr*gs
in the first place.
- Rodchenkov's cocktails
of three different
performance-enhancing dr*gs
were, on his instructions,
washed down by athletes
with alcohol
to shorten
the detection period--
Chivas for male athletes,
vermouth for the ladies.
- Wait, wait.
"Vermouth for the ladies"?
Look, I get doping is
still going on, but I'd hoped
that unnecessarily-gendered
illegal products died--
died out with the
Virginia Slims crack pipe.
#FEMINISM.
#CRACKPIPES.
Now, Russia's
track-and-field team
is currently banned
from competing
at the upcoming Olympics,
but there is nothing new
about this story.
For as long as
there's been science,
people have used it
to juice the human body.
In the 1920s,
a Russian-born French surgeon
grafted thin slices
of chimp testicles
into people's scrotums,
which was obviously ridiculous.
These days, we know
you need a thick slice
of chimp testicles.
That's when it starts to work.
And there's a long history
of athletes
circumventing the rules.
In the 1904 Olympics,
one of the marathon runners
rode 11 miles in a car,
a move that takes balls so big,
they must've included
a massive slice of chimp nuts.
Now, as for the modern era,
while no one knows
exactly how many athletes dope,
there are some shocking hints.
One leaked survey found
that an estimated 29%
of track-and-field athletes
at the 2011 World Championships
said that they had doped
in the past year,
and presumably,
that doesn't even include
'roided-out athletes
who responded by yelling,
"Survey make me angry,"
crumpling it up,
and throwing it to the moon.
But the prevalence of doping
is a little surprising
when you consider how rigorous
the testing regimes
in top sports can be.
Watch what happens to one runner
just seconds after
she crosses the finish line.
male reporter: From now until
she's able to provide a sample,
two things will be constant:
water and Flanagan's
anti-doping chaperone.
The chaperone makes sure
the athlete doesn't try
to cheat her drug test.
- It's a big-time buzzkill.
Um...
'Cause you're really
excited,
and you want to enjoy
the moment,
but then at the same time,
um, yeah, you got to get focused
and get ready to pee.
- Now, that--
that's got to be tough,
'cause you're probably not ready
to pee on command
just after finishing a race.
That's not what your body
is prepared to do
at that moment.
It's like asking someone
to have an orgasm
in the middle of test-driving
a Nissan Cube.
It's--
it's not going to be easy.
That could take a while.
And if you think
it's not fun for the athletes,
it's not that much fun
for the testers either.
"Real Sports"
followed one of them
on a surprise
out-of-competition test.
male reporter: His task
this early Saturday morning
is to collect a sample
from an elite rower
named Aleks Zosuls.
Aleks agreed to let us film
the moment of truth.
Lowell is required to witness
and have an unobstructed view.
- Oh, my God.
That--that is the face of a man
reconsidering
every single decision
he has made in his life,
while also desperately wishing
that athlete had not
had asparagus for dinner.
But despite rigorous testing,
athletes are clearly slipping
through the cracks
for a number of reasons.
For a start,
there are multiple tests,
and none of them can detect
the full range of dr*gs
an athlete might be on,
from anabolic steroids
to EPO to human growth hormone
to the most powerful
drug of all:
love.
And testing itself,
it--it's much less
black-and-white
than you might assume.
There are wide variations
in human biochemistry,
so to avoid false positives,
testing thresholds
are often deliberately high,
and athletes can dope and still
come below those thresholds
by doing things like microdosing
or using masking agents
to hide banned substances.
And those are just some ways
that it's possible
for top athletes to cheat
while still being able
to say things like this...
- People are smart.
Do they say, "Has Lance
Armstrong ever tested positive?"
No.
"Has Lance Armstrong
been tested?"
A lot.
- Wow,
that is some confident lying,
which isn't really surprising.
Remember, this is the man who
looked America dead in the eyes
and said, "Bicycling
is a very cool sport,"
and we f*cking believed him.
And--and the techniques
some athletes have used
to beat the system
have been amazingly imaginative.
Take, for instance,
the European cyclists
who would insert condoms
of clean urine into their anus
and then, in order
to conceal everything,
would cover it with fake hair,
blending into the real hair
of the nether regions.
And you have to imagine
that to convince
a cyclist to do that,
a coach would need to deliver
the most inspirational speech
in the history of sports.
"Hey,
do you want to be a champion?
"Do you? Then you jam in
that piss balloon,
"pick up that hot glue g*n,
"slap on that anus-Birkin,
"and ride like a champion!
"Full anus!
Clear tests!
"Can't lose!
Get out there!
Get out there and ride!"
[cheers and applause]
And--and when they have
tested positive,
the excuses have been
even more imaginative.
Former sprinter Dennis Mitchell
insisted his positive test
for testosterone was the result
of having sex at least
four times the night before
and drinking
five bottles of beer.
And if that
is what your life is like,
you don't really need
the Olympics.
Now, other--other athletes
have blamed positive tests
on eating a pie made
from doped-up racing pigeons,
or eating a stew of meat and
organs from uncastrated boars.
And I'll say this:
if Wheaties is really the
"breakfast of champions,"
their ingredient list
will now include
pigeon meat and pig jizz,
or it's over.
But--but none of that beats
my favorite excuse of all time.
male reporter:
Cyclist Tyler Hamilton
had to explain why somebody
else's blood was in his veins.
He claimed a vanished twin,
absorbed by his body
in the womb.
The court didn't buy it.
- Oh, but that twin
isn't vanished.
It's me.
I'm your brother, Tyler.
And my name isn't John Oliver,
it's Skyler.
Skyler Hamilton.
And together, we are:
Skyler and Tyler Hamilton.
A pair of un-vanished twins.
And we're both
equally good at biking.
And in a way--
in a way,
you can see why athletes
might want to dope.
A split-second advantage
can make the difference
between winning and losing,
and there's a lot of money
on the line for everyone.
There is a massive
financial ecosystem
dependent on spectacular
athletic achievement
in scandal-free games,
and that includes the networks,
who reap over a billion
in ad sales,
the IOC, which reaps billions
in broadcast rights,
and then there's the sponsors,
who love using Olympics athletes
for ads like these...
male announcer:
To perform your best,
training's got to be
a lifelong passion.
- Michael!
announcer: Fueled by
a foot-long passion.
That's why Debbie Phelps
is always there
for her son Michael,
with his favorite
flavor-packed,
fully-jacked footlong subs.
- Stop.
Because first,
no professional swimmer
wants a sandwich in the pool.
And--and for the record,
there is nothing
more viscerally upsetting
than a woman feeding
her soaking wet, nearly naked,
adult son something called
a fully-jacked footlong.
And when you combine--
the point is,
when you combine all the money
incentivizing athletes
to get an edge
with all the imperfections
of tests,
you would hope
there'd be a robust,
independent monitoring system
in place.
Unfortunately,
some countries lack
the resources
for strong testing,
while others seem
to lack the desire.
And to get a sense
of just how compromised
the system can become,
let's go back
to what happened in Russia,
because here's
how things worked.
This is a Russian
track-and-field athlete.
He would compete for his
national sports federation--
in this case, ARAF.
That federation would be under
both the international body
governing track and field,
the IAAF,
and the Russian
Ministry of Sport,
uh, which is, of course,
part of the Russian government.
Now, separately,
he would be tested
by his country's
anti-doping agency,
in this case, RUSADA,
who would send it
to a laboratory,
which is credited by
the World Anti-Doping Agency,
or WADA,
which receives funding
from both the IOC
and countries like Russia.
And already, you can see
this system looks like
a sprawling mess.
But I guess, technically,
it could work if each step
was genuinely committed
to stamping out doping.
However, you've already seen
that that one lab
had a glory hole,
and on top of that,
a recent investigation found
that RUSADA offices routinely
accepted bribes from athletes
and gave them advance notice
of when they'd be tested,
and it also found
the former head of ARAF
had worked with the director
of that glory-holed lab
to conceal positive drug tests.
And while you would hope
that the IAAF would have been
rooting all of this out,
the head of their
anti-doping department
was banned for five years
after an ethics investigation.
At which point, this is all
actually making FIFA look good.
FIFA!
f*cking FIFA!
And they are basically
just a mafia
with slightly better branding.
And finally, there is WADA.
Now, they're supposed to help
prevent things like this,
but their investigation
of the scandal
got off to a rocky start,
because we really only have
all this information
thanks to a whistleblower,
a former RUSADA employee
named Vitaly Stepanov.
He approached WADA with
a great deal of information,
but their response
was not reassuring.
male reporter: He sent
detailing what
he had witnessed,
but Vitaly says WADA told him
it did not have the power
to investigate inside Russia.
- Now, that is true.
At that point,
WADA didn't have
the explicit authority,
but that's a bit weird
in and of itself.
You don't want
the global anti-drug agency
to basically have the authority
of mall cops.
"Hey, thief!
"Stop or I'll be forced
to go straight to the food court
"and grumble about your behavior
into a bag of
Wetzel's Pretzels cinnabits."
And while WADA now
has more authority,
and has appointed
an independent commission
to investigate
the evolving Russia scandal,
their head, Craig Reedie,
sent a weirdly cozy email
to an advisor to the Russia
sports minister saying...
Which is an unsettlingly chummy
tone for a regulator to take.
If Tom Colicchio promised
to judge "Top Chef" fairly,
but then said to one contestant,
"I value
my relationship with you
and will do nothing
to affect it,"
the other contestants would
rightly think,
"This is clearly pointless.
Here's a Hot Pocket.
Go f*ck yourself."
And at this point,
I--I'm supposed to tell you
that Russian officials
and the former head of ARAF
have broadly denied
all these accusations,
and for his part,
Reedie says he's done nothing
to interfere with
the commission's investigations
and his email
had been misconstrued.
And, you know...sure.
And--and while this--
while this clearly
isn't the system we need,
it might actually be
the system we want.
Just listen to
former Head of WADA,
the phenomenally-named
d*ck Pound,
who--who has a depressing theory
about why more dopers
aren't caught.
- Machinery's all there.
The question is,
do people really
want it to work?
I mean, you can--
you can do hundreds of thousands
of tests and catch nobody
if you don't want to
catch anybody.
- Is that what you think
is happening,
that people don't want
it to work?
- People don't want it work.
- Okay, well, first,
d*ck Pound should really insist
that everyone call him
Rick or Rich,
if he really wants anyone
to fully listen to him,
but--but second, he actually
wrote a report for WADA,
assessing
the state of drug testing,
which found, among
the broader sports community...
Which is pretty alarming.
We're treating good testing
like calorie counts
on restaurant menus.
Oh, everyone might say
they want it
until they find out
that one Bloomin' Onion
is 32 million calories,
and then they are f*cking done.
And you might be thinking,
well, let's just give up.
Why don't--why don't
we just let everyone dope?
But that is
definitely not the answer.
For a start,
that could be very dangerous,
with athletes tempted to take
greater and greater amounts
to get that split-second edge,
and it could also potentially
force clean athletes to dope,
at which point,
you've pretty much destroyed
the integrity of sport.
Because if you want to know
what it's like to compete
against an
artificially-enhanced athlete,
just listen to Alysia Montano.
She lost at the 2012 Olympics
to Mariya Savinova,
one of the Russian athletes
implicated in
the current doping scandal.
male reporter:
This was the first time
Montano allowed herself
to watch the race
she lost to gold medalist
Mariya Savinova.
Montano had led the race
for about 600 meters,
before finishing fifth.
I mean, Savinova passed you like
you were, with all due respect--
- Literally standing still.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, and you realize...
at that moment, I real--
I realized,
I'm racing against robots.
- Robots?
- I'm racing against robots.
- She's racing against robots,
and it wasn't just Savinova,
because silver and bronze
went to a Roomba
and a 'roided-out Teddy Ruxpin.
And--and when she competed
against those same Russian
athletes at the World
Championships the next year,
it was deja vu.
male reporter:
Savinova blew by her
in the last 50 meters
to finish second.
All Montano could do was throw
herself across the finish line,
beaten, and,
for the first time, broken.
- And I felt really failed,
and really betrayed,
and I actually felt like
my career was a farce.
You know, that this is just--
what am I doing out here?
What's the point?
- "What am I doing here?
What's the point?"
She's a world-class athlete
and she was left feeling like
anyone who paid for a ticket
to--to "Now You See Me 2."
"What are we doing here?
"Wh-what are any of us
doing here?
"What's the point in this?
What are we doing?"
[cheers and applause]
And look--look,
we've focused on Russia here
because the details
are spectacular,
but they are far
from the only offenders.
In recent years,
Kenya, Jamaica, and China
have all had doping scandals,
and American athletes
have cheated too.
Justin Gatlin and Tyson Gay
have both been banned
for doping in the past,
yet they're still expected
to compete in Rio
for the U.S. team.
So think of doping
like Vladimir Putin.
It's far from just
a Russian problem.
It's something that adversely
affects the entire world.
So it feels like we have
two choices at this point.
If--if we truly want
to clean up sports,
we should empower WADA
by making it truly independent
and put pressure
on the broader sports system
to aggressively combat doping.
And if we don't really care
enough to make changes,
we should, at the very least,
make our syrupy athlete promos
a bit more honest.
[triumphant brass music]
♪
- Ever since I was a kid,
I've loved to run.
[g*n fires]
My parents sometimes tell me
I could run before I could walk.
Which doesn't really make sense,
but I always believed them.
♪
male narrator:
It's 5:00 a.m.,
and Olympic hopeful
Brandon Schmidt
has already been at the gym
for two hours with his coach.
- Push it!
Push it.
Push it!
Push it!
I've been working with Brandon
ever since he was
eight years old.
I discovered him sprinting
across a playground.
That's how
I used to find my runners.
Just hang out at playgrounds.
Look for the quickest kid.
Can't do that anymore,
of course.
narrator: For Brandon,
every morning,
it's the same routine.
- First, I do cardio,
then weights,
and then,
it's just all the pills
I can cram into my mouth.
- Push it!
narrator: Brandon's road to Rio
began years ago,
in a small bedroom
in Darbyville, Ohio.
- When I was a kid,
I had posters of all my heroes:
Lance Armstrong,
Marion Jones,
Ben Johnson,
Mark McGwire,
and that one guy who took a car
for 11 miles of
an Olympic marathon.
I wanted to be just like them.
narrator:
From those modest beginnings,
Coach Jason Clark
helped fill Brandon
with the stuff winners
are made of.
- Here, you need your purples.
We've tried pills
containing everything:
cat d*ck, dog d*ck,
lizard d*ck, rhino d*ck,
badger balls, muskrat anuses,
chipmunk fists, moose face,
a 5-hour ENERGY shot
straight into his eyeball.
- Aah!
Ow!
- One time I put a tampon
full of jet fuel up his ass.
- Push it!
- [grunting]
- Another time,
I got Regis Philbin
to scream into a jar
and then had him inhale him.
All of this,
just to get that edge.
narrator: But even
the most prepared athlete
can sometimes get caught,
and that's when Brandon relies
on Coach Clark's strict regimen
of excuses.
- And... go!
- I slipped and fell
in a vat of liquid amphetamines.
- Good.
Next!
- I was walking
down this dark back alley,
and a guy came up and stabbed me
with a syringe full of EPO.
- Sweeter.
Sweeter!
- I ate my twin in the womb.
- I don't believe you!
- An uncastrated boar
spit in my mouth.
- Plausible.
I like it.
Stick the landing.
- Last night, I drank five beers
and f*cked everyone in America.
- Time!
- How'd I do?
- You're ready.
♪
narrator: Now, with his eyes on
Rio and Olympic gold,
Brandon Schmidt is hoping
that his years of hard work
will finally pay off.
- For me, to win in Rio,
that'd be a fairy tale
come true, you know?
It'd be a Cinderella story,
but like if the slipper didn't
actually belong to Cinderella
and she took a lot of dr*gs
to change the size of her foot
to fit in the slipper,
and then Prince Charming
fell for it,
and they lived
happily ever after.
♪
That's my dream.
♪
- That's our show.
Thank you so much for watching.
We're off for a few weeks.
We'll be back July 24th.
Good night!
[cheers and applause]
- Push it!
Push it!
Push it.
[quietly]
Push it.
Push it!
Push it.
Push it!
Push it.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
[bright tone]
03x17 - Doping in sports
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American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.
American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.