04x24 - Corporate consolidation

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[Rock music]

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[Cheers and applause]

John: welcome,

Welcome, welcome

To "last week tonight."

I'm john oliver.

Thank you so much

For joining us.

It has been another

Frantic week.

A new and terrible health-care

Bill was pushed in the senate,

The president called kim jong un

"Rocket man" at the u.n.

There were significant

Developments in

Robert mueller's russia

Investigation, and then this

Weekend, all hell broke loose.

The president now picking

A fight with professional

Athletes.

Taking aim at players like

Colin kaepernick who protested

The treatment of blacks

By police by taking a knee

During the national anthem.

Wouldn't you love to see

One of these nfl owners, when

Somebody disrespects our flag,

To say, "get that son of a bitch

Off the field."

Right now.

Out.

He's fired.

He's fired!

John: okay, putting aside

The free-speech implications,

How is kneeling in front of

A flag more disrespectful to it

Than grinding it against

Your gnarled old boner?

But I'm afraid it's true.

The president of the united

States took time out while --

It's worth noting --

Over 3 million american citizens

In puerto rico are without power

To call colin kaepernick

A son of a bitch.

Kaepernick's own mother,

Incidentally, magnificently

Responding, "guess that makes me

A proud bitch!"

And that was one of many

Eye-catching responses to trump,

Including bills running back

Lesean mccoy tweeting,

"It's really sad, man...

Our president is a assh*le."

Meanwhile, many more players

Took a knee this afternoon,

And even nfl commissioner

Roger goodell denounced

The president's comments.

And when you've lost the moral

High ground to

Roger f*cking goodell,

Something is horribly wrong,

Which is not to say that trump

Didn't have his supporters

On this issue, and none were

More vigorous than fox news's

Jeanine pirro, who delivered

A characteristically calm

And measured address to those

Kneeling football players.

America's been incredibly

Good to every one of you.

From the time you displayed

Talent in sports as a youth,

America's allowed you to shine

And become financially

Prosperous.

There are so many of you

Who make tens of millions

Of dollars.

Shame on you.

Shame on all of you.

John: wow.

But you know what?

She's right.

No one wants to hear about

Politics from a wildly

Successful athlete.

You only want to hear about them

From an abject failure

Of a prosecutor who somehow

Let robert durst slip through

Her fingers.

And by the way, jeanine,

There's a flag behind you.

Have some f*cking respect.

But let's move on, because I'd

Like to briefly focus on a pair

Of scandals concerning trump

Administration officials

And their use of planes.

And let's start with tom price

Who, it emerged this week,

Has reportedly taken at least

Two dozen private plane trips

Since he became health

Secretary, which by one estimate

Has cost taxpayers more than

$400,000.

And look, an occasional private

Jet flight may be necessary

For government officials.

But for many of these flights,

Including one to philadelphia,

It turns out far less costly

Alternatives were available,

As cnn's graphics department

Creatively showed.

There was a commercial flight

Departing just minutes earlier.

That commercial flight would

Have cost between $500 and $700.

And of course, there was also

The option of amtrak.

A train from washington

To philadelphia, even in first

Class, would've cost taxpayers

No more than a few hundred

Dollars round trip.

The same trip by car would've

Cost an estimated $18

In gasoline each way for an suv.

John: oh, it gets worse, cnn.

Price could've taken

A greyhound bus for either

$10 Or a handjob.

Or he could've just

Razor scootered there instead.

Or even fired himself

Out of a cannon and saved us all

A lot of money.

And yet, according to politico,

He may've paid $25,000 for that

Trip, which is disgraceful.

Not as disgraceful as this

Actual mustache he used to have.

But still, absolutely

Unforgivable.

Look at it.

It's like his upper lip

Is being haunted by the mustache

Of a seventeenth-century

Sex offender.

But for sheer brazenness,

Price has to take a fully

Reclinable backseat to

Treasury secretary

Steve mnuchin, a man whose

Appearance provides us with an

Answer to the question,

"What if income inequality

Dressed up as me, john oliver,

For halloween?"

You probably recall that last

Month, mnuchin's wife,

Louise linton, seen here on her

Wedding day, silently reminding

Herself over and over again

That this is exactly what

She wanted, stepped into a bit

Of trouble when she accompanied

Her husband on a trip

To kentucky.

It all started when louise

Linton posted a picture of

Herself getting off a government

Plane, mentioning designer

Labels from her outfit,

Including hermes and tom ford.

An oregon woman responded,

"Glad we could pay your get

Away.

#Deplorable."

Linton fired back, writing,

"Pretty sure the amount we

Sacrifice per year is a lot more

Than you'd be willing to

Sacrifice" and "you're adorably

Out of touch."

John: it's a bit ironic that

Linton, who tagged her photo

#Valentinorockstudheels

Is calling someone else

Out of touch.

Because rockstud heels?

Really, louise?

What is this, valentino's fall



Is there some asymmetrical

Pastel organza you'd like

To pair them with?

Maybe something floaty

With a scalloped hem?

Or is it seven years ago only

From the ankle down?

Hmm?

I'm just saying.

If you've never seen valentino

Rockstud heels,

First congratulations,

But if you're curious,

Just google image,

"A stylist phones it in

For a cw star's red carpet

Appearance at the people's

Choice awards."

You will find them.

But the strangest part of

Linton's response came when

She wrote, "do you think the

U.s. Government paid for our

Honeymoon or personal travel?

Lololol."

To which the answer is,

"I hadn't actually considered

That, but now that you've

Brought it up, yeah,

Almost definitely."

And guess what we found out

Just last week?

Multimillionaire treasury

Secretary steven mnuchin

Formally requested that he and

His new wife, louise, regularly

Seen in designer clothes

With purses at $10,000 plus,

Be allowed to travel in style

In a government jet on their

Honeymoon to europe.

John: it's true, a man

Worth an estimated $300 million

Asked to use a government jet

For his european honeymoon.

And the request was later

Withdrawn, which is good,

Because that would've been

A breathtaking waste of money.

And that's really saying

Something for mnuchin,

Considering he invested in

"Collateral beauty,"

A movie that was -- and not a

Lot of people know this --

A movie.

But meanwhile, mnuchin is still

Facing questions over whether he

And his wife arranged that trip

To kentucky because it happened

To be the perfect spot from

Which to view the solar eclipse.

And last week, mnuchin fiercely

Denied that and casually

Insulted the entire state

Of kentucky in the process.

You know, people in kentucky

Took this stuff very seriously.

Being a new yorker,

In california, I was like,

The eclipse.

So we got there.

I was like, really?

I don't have any interest

In watching the eclipse.

John: what are you talking

About?

It's a f*cking eclipse,

Not a broadway show.

"I live in manhattan

So I see eclipses all the time.

I'll leave work a little early,

Grab a pre-eclipse dinner

At joe allen, and then go.

I don't have time to go to

Kentucky to see some

Touring-company eclipse."

And look, I know mnuchin

And price's scandals are not

The biggest in the world.

For this administration, they're

Almost nostalgically quaint.

But to quote america's

Loudest legal mind,

"America's been incredibly good

To them.

It's allowed them to shine

And become financially

Prosperous, and they've made

Millions of dollars.

They have disgraced

The american taxpayer.

So shame on you.

Shame on both of you."

And now this.

Announcer: and now a

Preview of megyn kelly's new

Morning show.

In a world, in a country

That's incredibly divided right

Now.

My hope is that this show can be

A unifying force.

Announcer: a look at the

Unifying force that is megyn

Kelly.

Gay rights are more protected

And recognized in this country.

Christian beliefs on christian

Rights, not so much.

This is about the attempted w*r

On the religious right, not the

w*r on women.

For your kids, santa is white.

Jesus was a white man too.

The decision to drop the case

Against the black panther case.

k*ll some cr*cker babies.

Do you hate white people?

Is president obama playing the

Race card?

Do black lives matter or do all

Lives matter?

Last night's debate found five

Presidential contenders

Suggesting black lives may have

More value than all lives.

Are these thugs?

Thugs is not far off the mark.

Thug mentality.

That it's cool to hate the cops

And hang out and be somebody who

Doesn't prize being there for

Your family.

Illegals.

Late-term abortions.

Voter fraud.

w*r on christmas.

Look at that more on.

If you watch the vmas, have to

Wonder they're going to be

Openly having intercourse.

We acknowledge the role god

Has played.

You say what you believe.

I don't.

I do.

You are an opinion guy.

I am a journalist.

John: moving on.

Tonight I'd like to talk to you

About business, the thing that

Everyone on "shark t*nk" thinks

They a great idea for,

Even this guy.

Our cakes are made of foam,

And they're rentals.

John: wait.

So I can neither have my cake

Nor eat it too?

I'm in.

Here's a million dollars.

Small startup businesses like

That hold a special

Place in america's heart,

And politicians from across the

Political spectrum love to talk

About how important they are.

Small businesses are

The backbone of our economy.

Small businesses are the

Backbone of our economy.

Small businesses are

The backbone of our economy.

John: it's true.

It's the rare thing

Every politician agrees on.

It's that,

"Support the troops,"

"Ted cruz can go f*ck himself,"

And south dakota senator

John thune can get it.

He can get it.

It can feel like we're in

A golden age of small-business

Startups, but that isn't

Actually the case.

The rate at which new businesses

Are being created has actually

Been steadily falling

Since the 1970s.

And I'd argue one of the reasons

For that is that big businesses

Have been getting even bigger.

Which brings us to our main

Topic tonight,

Corporate consolidation.

Recent years have seen

Record highs for mergers

And acquisitions, as you'd know

If you'd ever watched the

Thrilled reactions

On business news.

M&a has been hot,

Continues to be hot.

An exciting year for m&a.

A few blockbuster deals

Being announced.

They call it merger monday

On wall street.

It is shaping up to be

Another merger monday.

They don't call it

Merger monday for nothing.

Media mega merge monday.

Mmm.

Merger monday?

At last we have one.

And I say...

♪ Hallelujah ♪

John: okay, that's a little

Nauseating.

But pressing a button on tv

Is dangerous.

Because someone could take that

Footage and loop any sound

They want under there.

Obviously, I'm not immature

Enough to do that.

But if I were,

It would look like this.

Merger monday?

At last we have one.

And I say...

[Farting noise]

[Cheers and applause]

John: the point is, all this

Merger activity has helped make

Some sectors of our economy

Ridiculously consolidated.

The united states has gone

From having ten large airlines

Back in 2000 to just four today.

And those four mega airlines

Now dominate more than eighty

Percent of the u.s. Market.

John: yes, we're down to just

Four major airline choices.

And, no, that doesn't include

Jet blue, because that's not

An airline.

It's just a very expensive way

To eat those weird blue chips,

Which are -- and this is true --

Just sliced grover arms.

And airlines are just

The beginning.

The rental car business is now



Companies.

The u.s. Beer industry

Is 70% controlled by just

Two companies.

And online search engines are,

Of course, as we all know,

Dominated by one website.

That's right, say it with me.

Bing.

Yes, bing:

The best way to google

Something.

In fact, full disclosure.

Even our own parent company,

Time warner, is currently trying

To merge with at&t.

Which makes this story a little

Dangerous for us to do.

Although that's presuming

At&t executives manage to get

Their shitty service working

Long enough to see it.

At&t.

It's the top telecom company

Around, alphabetically,

And nothing else.

Even some brands that you might

Think of as indie now have

Multinational owners.

Burt's bees?

It's not run by a backwoods

Bee-fucker called burt.

It's run by clorox.

Tom's of maine?

The deodorant which did

So little to deodorize your

Freshman year roommate?

It's now owned by

Colgate palmolive.

And then there's goose island.

Their ads feature beardy brewers

Rubbing hops on their faces.

What they don't mention is

Goose island is owned by

Anheuser-busch, and that farm

You just saw is located at



It's just past bud light

Lime-a-rita boulevard.

Basically, if you see the

Mass grave of clydesdale horses,

Turn left and you're there.

And it says something about the

Rapid rate of mergers that even

Jim cramer occasionally finds

Himself in disbelief at one

Happening.

Watch him react to a mega-merger

In the aluminum can industry.

Ball corp's acquisition

Of rexxam is taking the number

Of competitors in this space

Down from -- get this --

From 3 to 2.

How did they let that happen?

John: it's not great when

A business casual louis ck

With a sound-effects board

Is saying, "holy shit,

This was a really bad idea."

But "how did they let that

Happen" is a good question,

And the answer is interesting.

Because we've had

Antitrust laws on the books for

More than a century.

And I'm not saying every single

Merger is bad.

Sometimes, businesses getting

Bigger can lead to greater

Efficiencies and improvements.

The tension is between allowing

That and preventing them

From doing harm.

It's a balance.

But since the late 1970s, that

Balance has tipped decidedly in

Favor of being merger-friendly.

Which has led to real problems.

And let's start

With the obvious.

For workers, mergers can often

Mean big layoffs.

But it's not just employees that

Can suffer.

Consumers can too,

As jim cramer explained,

In that aluminum can segment,

In an inexplicably sarcastic

Tone of voice.

I always say competition,

While great for you a consumer,

Is anathema to profits.

Sometimes a business will be

A total monopoly with

No competition whatsoever.

And while that's the ideal,

It's very rare to see a genuine

Monopoly because of course

It's against the law.

Which brings us to the next best

Thing: an oligopoly, where

A handful of companies control

An entire industry, coexisting

Peacefully without much in the

Way of price competition.

John: that's a weird

Tone to use to describe

Something that's awful.

"It's rare to see genuine

Bestiality, because of course,

It's against the law,

Which brings us to the next best

Thing: having sex with a stuffed

Animal while looking at pictures

Of a real horse."

And for a sense of what it can

Look like when "a handful of

Companies coexist peacefully

Without much in the way of price

Competition,"

Just look at airlines.

In 2012, one airline executive

Told an industry conference,

Consolidation has allowed us

To do things like ancillary

Revenues, which is jargon

For all those fees that drive

You f*cking crazy.

American was the first major

Airline to charge for your first

Checked bag, back in 2008.

And back then, people couldn't

Believe it.

American airlines will soon

Charge fifteen dollars for the

First checked bag.

That's on top of a $25 fee

For your second one.

$15?

Holy cow!

Well, I'll have to put my

Underwear in my pockets.

John: yes, first, that is

A delightful man.

Although it does make you wonder

Whether he flies with

Bags full of underwear

And nothing else.

But within months, most major

Airlines had followed american's

Lead, and it was essentially

The industry standard.

And it's easy for that to happen

When there's only a handful

Of big players.

In fact, since then, they've

Added and increased bag fees

Multiple times, often moving in

Tandem, which is how those fees

Have gone from generating around

$540 Million a year a decade

Ago to $4.2 billion now.

And that is infuriating.

After all, if I wanted

Exorbitant fees that keep

Getting raised all the time

Despite shitty service,

I'd become a customer of at&t.

f*ck you, at&t.

And you might be angry with the

Service you get from airlines,

But thanks to consolidation,

They don't really need to give

A shit what you think.

Don't believe me?

Remember that awful video that

Went around earlier this year?

The shocking images of

A passenger caught

In a travel nightmare.

A man visibly shaken

As he's yanked.

And then dragged off a united

Jet by law enforcement.

All after refusing to give up

His seat.

John: yeah, that is the most

Horrifying thing you can

Possibly see on an airplane,

Unless your in-flight movie is

"The boss baby".

A movie that combines the

Unbearable smugness of alec

Baldwin, with the unbearable

Smugness of a baby.

In the wake of that incident,

People said it was a pr

Nightmare, and there was talk on

Twitter of boycotting united.

The problem is, on certain

Routes, they're the only option.

So a boycott's pretty hard

To pull off.

And that's arguably why their

Ceo was later able to open his

Earnings call for that quarter,

By describing a period in which

I will remind you --

A passenger had his teeth

Knocked out on one of united's

Planes, like this.

Welcome to a terrific second

Quarter, strong financial

Results and even more incredible

Operational results...

As you think of our customers,

I want to thank them for their

Continued loyalty and support.

We continue to find new and

Better ways to service them and

Make them more comfortable on

Our airline.

John: is it any wonder

Their earnings stayed solid?

United is sometimes the only way

To get to where you're going,

Which explains their new slogan:

"You want to f*ckin' rollerblade

To houston?

Shut up and get in."

And when an industry gets too

Consolidated, any company trying

To compete with them or survive

In their supply chain

Can get crushed.

We all know about amazon,

Wal-mart or google, but there

Are less obvious examples of

This, too.

Take eyewear.

If you go into a

Lenscrafters, you'll see frames

From brands like

Prada, dolce and gabbana,

Burberry and ralph lauren --

All of which, it turns out,

Are made by an italian company

Called luxottica.

Who, incidentally, also own

Lenscrafters, and

Sunglass hut, and

Pearle vision, and runs

Target optical

And sears optical.

What can happen when a smaller

Company goes up against them?

Well, just ask oakley.

Oakley was a big competitor.

And they had a fight with

Luxottica.

And luxottica basically said,

"We're dropping you from our

Stores.

They refused to sell their

Glasses in their stores.

Yeah, there was a dispute

About pricing, and they dropped

Oakley from the stores, and

Oakley's stock price collapsed.

There were some issues

Between the two companies in the

Beginning of the 2000s.

But both of them understood that

It was better to go along.

We merged with oakley in 2007.

You bought oakley.

They tried to compete and they

Lost and then you bought them.

I understand your theory,

But they understood that life

Was better together.

John: wow.

That is the menacing tone of a

Bond villain.

They understood life was better

Together.

That's the first time I've ever

Felt sorry for oakley,

The official sunglasses of

Guys who unironically use the

Term: "fingerblasting".

And there's one more victim of

Consolidation you may not think

About, and that's the products

Themselves.

Because heavily consolidated

Industries can lose the

Incentive to innovate.

And the best example of this may

Be the cable box beneath

Your tv.

If you have one, you probably

Hate it.

Because it's huge, glitchy, and

May be one of the largest

Energy-consuming items in your

House, even when it's turned

Off.

But if you think about it, cable

Companies have no real incentive

To improve them.

They're regional monopolies.

And, again, they know you have

Nowhere else to go.

And you can't even smash your

Cable box out of frustration,

Because you're renting it, and

They'll charge you hundreds of

Dollars if you don't give it

Back.

Which is why we went to the

Trouble of blowing this one up

For you.

Take a look.

Pretty cathartic to watch,

Right?

I hope that helps.

Feel free to watch it again in

Slow motion.

I want you to know: it suffered.

The point here is, we seem to

Have forgotten how important

Antitrust is, and are all now

Being forced to live with the

Consequences.

Because this issue affects

Almost everything you do.

Angry at banks?

The industry is dominated by

Just these four.

Frustrated with your health

Insurance provider?

Odds are, it's one of these.

And if this whole story is

Infuriating you so much you're

Yearning for the sweet escape

Of death, well, bad luck.

The casket industry is

Controlled by

These three companies.

Oh, and it gets even worse:

The afterlife is actually

Controlled by one religion.

I'm not saying which one, but

When you find out, you are gonna

Be so mad!

The point is, we have laws to

Prevent the worst effects of

Consolidation.

And it may be time to use them

To impose stricter standards,

And empower the

Ftc and doj antitrust divisions.

Which is something most people

Would get behind, and nearly

Every politician should.

After all, there's one thing

They can't stop saying

Well, if they really believe

That, it may be time for them to

Stop talking about backbones,

And actually f*cking grow one.

And now this.

Announcer: and now all of

Jim cramer's sound buttons

Replaced with fart noises.

There after raise money to

Pay back their unhappy clients.

Things keep working out.

Buy high and then sell low.

A time-honored way to lose money

Money.

I want you feel emboldened.

I was wrong on both counts.

[Fart noises]

John: finally tonight,

A quick word regarding

Trains.

Basically, buses that f*ck.

You probably know that we

Recently became obsessed with

Wnep scranton's backyard train

That runs behind their weather

Forecasts.

On our last program, we actually

Made them a ridiculously large

Train set, and ended the show

With this plea:

Please wnep -- call us to

Arrange pickup or delivery of

The greatest backyard train the

Local news has ever seen.

It's true.

We built them an enormous train

Set and then demanded they drive

Two and a half hours to come get

It.

Which is basically the world's

Worst gift, right after giving

Someone a plant.

That's not a present.

It's an assignment.

And in classic scranton style,

Viewers were split on the issue

Of the new train.

Some, like this one, were

Positive:

You have got to go get that,

That train, that, that beautiful

Train for the backyard that hbo

Made.

Your little one, I can't even

Look at it now.

John: come on.

There's no need to make this

About how shitty.

Your words --

The regular backyard train is.

And hey, to be fair: not

Everyone liked ours, either.

I won't let some new york big

Shot come and give that big,

Fancy train.

The hecks with them new york

Fellows there.

What do they know about trains

Anyway?

John: you know what?

That man has a point.

The subway proves new yorkers

Know nothing about trains.

Subway trains are basically just

Elongated dumpsters with seats

That slowly roll through

Rat-infested sadness tunnels.

But those angry callers actually

Got their wish, because, sadly,

Our train set won't be replacing

Their backyard train, for the

Simple reason that it doesn't

Fit in their backyard.

Which, to be completely honest,

We kind of thought might be

The case.

We did think about the

Logistics, it's just we decided

It would be funnier to give them

A really big train.

It wasn't an accident.

We're just terrible people.

But the good news is, wnep have

Donated our train set to

Scranton's local

Electric city trolley museum.

Or as it's known to the children

Of scranton, "every f*cking

Year's class trip."

And they went all-out, even

Using -- and this is true --

A police escort to bring our

Train set through scranton.

Just to be clear.

They took a train, loaded it in

A truck, and then surrounded it

With cars.

So they weren't so much "going"

To a transportation museum as

"Becoming" one.

And on friday, they celebrated

The big unveiling.

Now that irresponsibly large

Train is in display in scranton

For all to see.

John oliver, the host of last

Week tonight, could not make it

To today's dedication, but we

Were honored with the presence

Of two of the show's characters:

Mr. Nutterbutter himself and the

Dancing zebra were both on hand

To take in part of today's

Festivities.

John: it's true!

I couldn't make it to the event,

Because I have to work all week

To make this show

"Stephen and jimmy."

But we did send our favorite

Naturally occurring barcode --

The bolivian zebra.

And mr. Nutterbutter, america's

Furriest co-defendant.

But look, this whole train

Adventure has been a lot of fun,

And I want to thank the people

Of scranton, because it turns

Out, they found the perfect way

To say thank you and also get

Back at me.

Now we have made some

Amendments to it since you saw

It last here on newswatch 16

At 5:00.

John oliver's face is now on it.

John: oh, well played,

Scranton!

There is no more passive

Aggressive way to thank someone

For a gift than by driving a

Train directly into their face.

That's our show.

Thanks for watching.

See you next week.

Good night!