04x30 - Presidency of Donald Trump

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John: welcome,

Welcome, welcome

To "last week tonight."

I'm john oliver.

Thank you so much

For joining us.

And we barely have time for even

A lightning-quick recap of the

Week, which saw everything

From republicans continuing

To roll out their tax reform

Plan with all the grace

Of a horse falling down

A spiral staircase

To "the new york times"

Reporting louis ck's gross

Sexual misconduct,

Conduct which is completely

Indefensible and which

Inevitably resulted in the

Cancellation of his new film,

"Exhibit a if this ever

Goes to trial."

As for the president, he's been

Overseas all week, which

Should've been relaxing for the

Rest of us, until this happened

Last night.

Moments ago, president trump

Openly mocked the leader of

North korea.

He wrote "why would kim jong un

Insult me by calling me old

When I would never call him

Short and fat?"

John: this would be the

Stupidest possible reason

For all of us to die.

I'm serious.

If the entire country

Simultaneously tripped while

Putting on its underwear,

And fell face-forward into the

Toilet, got stuck and drowned,

It would be considerably less

Stupid than if this tweet

Caused a nuclear apocalypse.

But rather than focus on the

Events of this week, as this is

Our last show of the season,

We thought we'd actually take

A broader look at the topic that

Has dominated the past year:

The presidency of donald trump.

The man voted "least edible"

By cannibal magazine six years

In row.

And I know the prospect

Of talking about trump yet again

Feels exhausting.

We're all so tired of him.

Every room in america should

Have a sign on the wall that

Counts the number of minutes

It's been since someone

Brought up his f*cking name.

But that's the thing.

Trump's presidency is like

One of his handshakes.

It pulls you in whether you

Like it or not.

He's had so many terrible

Moments this year, you forget

About some of them.

Remember when he creepily told

The french president's

Wife she was in good shape?

Or when his tacky golf resort

Was touted on the state

Department website?

Or when he shoved the prime

Minister of montenegro out of

The way at a nato event?

Look how proud of himself he is!

You should at least have to know

That montenegro is a country

Before making a move that says,

"Suck it, montenegro!"

And there were also quieter

But no less alarming moments,

Like when he explained how hard

He's been fighting to bring

"Clean coal" back without

Appearing to understand

What that actually is.

It's just been announced

That a second, brand-new coal

Mine where they're going to take

Out clean coal, meaning they are

Taking out coal.

They are gonna clean it.

Is opening in the state

Of pennsylvania.

John: listen.

Is it possible that donald trump

Is well-versed in and is

Referring to flue-gas

Desulfurization, fluidized-bed

Combustion, and selective

Catalytic reduction?

Sure.

It's possible.

But let's agree it's

Considerably more likely that he

Thinks you just take a bunch of

Coal and scrub-a-dub-dub it

With a big old sponge.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm saying the president

Fundamentally doesn't understand

What he's talking about.

And you know what that means?

We got him!

We got him!

We got him!

I didn't get him?

I thought we got him.

You don't think I hate myself

Too?

All right.

The point is, tonight,

Let's pull back from the daily

Trump-induced chaos and take

A look at the norms

His presidency has violated.

And not the obvious ones, like

The fact he never released his

Tax returns or that his own

Daughter and son-in-law work

In the white house, although

Admittedly, I am using the word

"Work" so generously that I

Should be able to deduct it as a

Charitable donation on my taxes.

Or that instead of putting his

Assets into a blind trust

To help reduce conflicts of

Interest, he simply showed

America that he has many large

Stacks of paper presumably

Containing the sentence

"I can't believe I'm getting

Away with this"

Printed 750,000 times.

No, instead, we're going to talk

About trump's as*ault on

Something even more basic.

The norms governing how our

Leaders engage with us and how

In turn that affects the way

That we engage with one another.

It's why even the notion of

"Getting him" can feel

So hopelessly futile.

And let's first stipulate it

Definitely doesn't help that,

So often, what trump says

Is complete nonsense.

We often read transcripts of

Trump's speeches, and it's

Something that everyone should

Actually do once in a while.

Because when you strip away his

Blindly confident, entertaining

Delivery and just read his

Words, it is staggering how

Incoherent he is.

Here's a word-for-word reading

Of a speech where he talked

About the iran nuclear deal.

You look at the nuclear deal,

The thing that really

Bothers me --

It would have been so easy,

And it's not as important

As these lives are.

Nuclear is so powerful.

My uncle explained that to me

Many, many years ago, the power

And that was 35 years ago.

He would explain the power of

What's going to happen and he

Was right, who would have

Thought?

But when you look at what's

Going on with the four

Prisoners,

Now it used to be three,

Now it's four.

But when it was three and even

Now, I would have said it's all

In the messenger.

Fellas, and it is fellas

Because, you know, they don't,

They haven't figured that the

Women are smarter right now than

The men, so, you know, it's

Gonna take them about another



But the persians are great

Negotiators.

The iranians are great

Negotiators, so -- and they,

They just k*lled --

They just k*lled us.

John: holy shit.

That is not a functional use of

Language.

That is a drunk driver crashing

A pickup truck full of

Alphabet soup.

Trump's actual speech patterns

Sound like when you write a long

Text by choosing only

The predictive text your

Iphone suggests for you.

Seriously.

We wrote a message like that,

Starting with the words

"The nuclear," and here's

What we got.

The nuclear test program was

Not opposed by the other person

Who knows what they want and

Then the delay is not being done

By any other country and that is

Not the only way to make sure

The world can do more things

And things like that

And gentlemen and then the other

People who have been told to

Leave them alone with their

Children who are also very sad.

John: that makes exactly

As much, and potentially more

Sense, than trump's speech

About the iran nuclear deal.

Meaning an iphone would be

A more coherent president

Of the united states.

But with trump, we're familiar

Enough with his speech patterns

That you get the basic gist

Of what he's trying to say.

The real damage isn't in how he

Says things, but from three key

Techniques he uses to insulate

Himself from criticism

And consequence.

And if we're not extremely

Careful, all three could have

Serious impacts

That far outlast his presidency.

And let's start

With the first one.

Delegitimizing the media.

Trump's been attacking the press

Since he declared his candidacy,

And in a broader sense,

He's been waging w*r on the

Very concept of truth ever since

He first turned to his mom

And said "da-da," and she said,

"No, I'm mama," and he said,

"Fake news!"

And shit his pants.

Now, the difference now is, he's

Crying fake news as president

Of the united states, and he's

Openly proud of it to the point

That he recently tried to take

Ownership of the term itself.

The media is, is really

The word, I think one of the

Greatest of all terms

I've come up with is "fake."

I guess other people have used

It, perhaps, over the years,

But I've never noticed it.

John: he just took credit for

Inventing the term "fake news,"

Which, for the record,

He didn't.

Meaning what he just said,

Was fake "fake news" news.

And you could imagine him

Saying, "well, I'm not the first

Politician to criticize

The press.

What about hillary clinton?

What about barack obama?

What about bernie sanders?"

And that actually brings us

To trump's second technique,

Something called

"Whataboutism?"

It's the practice of changing

The subject to someone else's

Perceived wrongdoing.

Trump does it all the time,

Most famously when he was asked

Why he hadn't forcefully

Condemned the neo-nazis

In charlottesville, and this was

His response.

What about the alt-left that

Came charging at the, as you say

The alt-right?

Do they have any semblance

Of guilt?

What about the fact that they

Came charging, that they came

Charging with clubs in their

Hands, swinging clubs?

Do they have any problem?

John: well, actually, no.

Because a n*zi k*lling someone

With a car is so heinous

You can be wearing

Crocs with socks, but you're

Using those socked crocs

To kick nazis in the balls,

This technique of saying

"What about?" Is actually

An old soviet propaganda tool,

And the reason it's dangerous

Is because it implies that all

Actions, regardless of context,

Share a moral equivalency,

And since nobody's perfect,

All criticism is hypocritical

And everybody should do whatever

They want.

It's a depressingly

Effective tool, which is why,

On trump's favorite network,

You hear it all the time.

The mainstream media focused

On the trump campaign --

And allegations

Of collusions with the russians.

What about the democrat's

Possible ties to moscow?

Former national security

Advisor, general michael flynn

Investigated for private meeting

With russia, what about hillary

Clinton?

The media wants to call into

Question the credibility

And the trustworthiness

Of this administration.

But what about benghazi?

What about the blatant lies that

The obama administration

Told us?

What about the blatant lies

What about the fact that

Ben rhodes brag about lying to

The media about the iran deal?

What about the fact that

Jonathan gruber basically said

The american people were stupid?

John: okay, stop, stop.

Because here's the thing.

None of the errors those people

May have made in the past excuse

The trump administration's

Actions.

A defense attorney couldn't

Stand up in court and say:

"Maybe my client did m*rder

Those people.

But I ask you what about

Jeffrey dahmer?

What about al capone?

What about the guy from

'The silence of the lambs'?

I rest my case."

I rest my case.

The problem with whataboutism

Is, it doesn't actually solve

A problem or win an argument.

The point is just to muddy

The waters,

Which can make the other side

Mad.

And that actually brings us

To trump's third technique:

Trolling.

Now, trolling itself has been

Around for years.

It's basically 80% of what

Happens on the internet.

It's when a youtube commenter

Says something willfully

Provocative, like saying

"I've aged like an apple core

In a dumpster," or that I

"Look like a f*cking pickle

With glasses."

Now, it doesn't matter whether

They mean any of that.

The point is just to get

A reaction and hurt my feelings,

Which by the way,

It absolutely does.

But trump may well be

The first-ever troll to be

Elected president.

That's right, I said "elected."

Remember, 10th president

Sprinkles fuzzwizard

Assumed office after william

Henry harrison died.

And if you're thinking, hold on.

Sprinkles fuzzwizard

Was not america's



Really?

Who was america's



Exactly.

Let's assume I'm right.

The point is, as a troll,

Trump often does things that

Have no effect other than to

Piss off his perceived enemies.

Like when he tweeted this

Wrestling gif of himself

Body-slamming cnn or att*cked

Mika brzezinski by saying

She was bleeding badly

From a face lift or,

As we've mentioned, called

A leader with nuclear weapons

Short and fat.

And trump even once retweeted

A claim that he was the

The most superior troll on the

Whole of twitter, calling it

"A great compliment!"

Which it isn't.

Because sometimes when you do

Something that makes a lot of

People mad, it's because --

And bear with me here --

You're a d*ck.

If you sneak into someone's

House and urinate in every

Heating vent and they get mad

At you, you are not an epic

Troll sticking it

To the snowflake cucks.

You're just some f*cking

assh*le.

But the thing is, trump's

Trolling is not without

Political value.

Despite trump's few real policy

Accomplishments to date, he has

Consistently achieved one thing:

Making his enemies unhappy.

And for many supporters,

That itself counts as a major

Victory.

Just listen to how

"Fox and friends" reacted after

Trump freaked people out by

Standing with military leaders

During rising tensions with

North korea and suggesting it

Was the "calm before the storm."

I think he is trolling

The media.

I think he is totally

Trolling the media there.

Even the smile

And the wink?

Those of us that are sick of

The status quo, the forgotten

Men and women who voted for

President trump, want that town

To freak out.

I want those reporters going

"What do you mean?

What do you mean?"

It's beautiful to watch.

John: is it?

Why?

I'm genuinely serious.

Who benefits from mass confusion

About whether or not we're about

To go to w*r?

Are there thousands of

Unemployed factory workers

Across the midwest going,

"Well, the plant closed down

And I lost my health care, but

Somewhere a "washington post"

Reporter is scared of dying,

So things are looking up.

Maga!"

Judging your political success

On how bad you make other people

Feel makes about as much sense

As judging your success

As a zookeeper by how many bears

You f*ck.

"Oh, wow.

That is not your job!

I mean, I guess it's impressive

In its own way, but it's

Definitely not what you're

Supposed to be doing."

And the surest proof of trolling

Often comes when a troll

Is confronted.

Because that's when they have to

Put up or shut up.

You may've heard about cases

Where people tracked down the

Source of something awful that

Was posted online, only to find

Some sullen 15-year-old who just

Shrugs and goes, "I dunno why

I wrote that.

I just did it.

Stop asking me so many

Questions."

Well, that is basically

Our president now.

I'll show you.

Remember when trump said

President obama had surveilled

Him in trump tower, tweeting,

"How low has president obama

Gone to tap-p-p my phones"?

Watch what happened when he was

Asked to justify that.

Well, you saw what happened

With surveillance.

And I think that was

Inappropriate, but that's

The way --

What does that mean, sir?

You can figure that out

Yourself.

Well, I -- the reason I ask

Is you said he was --

You called him "sick and bad."

Look, you can figure it out

Yourself.

He was very nice to me with

Words, but -- and when I was

With him -- but after that,

There has been no relationship.

But you stand by that claim

About him?

I don't stand by anything.

I just -- you can take it

The way you want.

John: okay, so let's walk

Through that.

On the internet, he claimed that

The president of the united

States committed an extremely

Serious crime.

But in person, he's suddenly

Backing down, first saying

Obama was "very nice to him with

Words."

Then that "I don't stand

By anything."

Which is one of the most

Frighteningly nihilistic

Sentences a president can say.

I'd rather hear that from

A clown holding a knife

Than a president, because

At least when the clown says

"I don't stand by anything,"

You think, "yeah.

That kind of makes sense."

Please make it quick.

And it gets worse, because the

Interview kept going, and trump

Was explicitly given the option

To set the record straight for

The "fake news" media, but he

Flat-out refused.

I just wanted to find out,

Though.

You're -- you're the president

Of the united states.

You said he was "sick and bad"

Because he had tapped you --

You can take -- any way.

You can take it any way

You want.

But I'm asking you.

Because you don't want it

To be --

You don't have to --

Ask me.

You don't have to ask me.

Why not?

Because I have my own

Opinions.

You can have your own opinions.

But I want to know

Your opinions.

You're the president

Of the united states.

Okay, it's enough.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

John: okay, so there is

A lot that is infuriating about

That clip, but trump going back

To his desk and pretending to

Work hard is an objectively

Funny thing to do.

That's like your dog

Avoiding questions by pretending

To do his taxes.

You never do this!

Why would you need to do it now?

And while there's nothing new

About any of these

Techniques, they're now coming

Out of the oval office,

Which not only legitimizes them,

It risks them spreading.

And that, sadly, is happening.

Last month, congressman

Paul gosar used all three

Techniques.

First, he suggested

In an interview that the march

In charlottesville may have been

A false flag operation

Created by the left, which is

Pretty troll-y.

And when confronted, he deployed

The other two tools.

It's been debunked.

It's not been debunked.

Absolutely not debunked

Whatsoever.

So stay tuned.

The conspiracy theory that

You put have put out there

Has been debunked.

It has not been debunked.

Look at what cnn has talked

About with what's going on

With the clinton administration

Right now with the dossier.

Hardly an aspect in regards

To debunked.

You're not real news.

You're fake news.

Sir, everything you've said

Has been debunked.

Why are you continuing to

Put this out there?

Fake news.

Fake news.

John: so he's basically just

Copying trump.

And if there's one thing worse

Than something terrible,

It's a cover band of that

Terrible thing.

If trump is nickelback,

That man is bicklenack.

Not as good at it as the

Original and a horrible sign

That the disease is spreading.

The problem is, if that becomes

The level of discourse, we are

Seriously and lastingly f*cked.

And just this week, we saw some

Of these techniques pushed

To the limit by the scandal

Involving alabama senate

Candidate roy moore, who has

Denied allegations of sexual

Misconduct with a 14-year-old

When he was 32 and called them

"Fake news."

And watch sean hannity then use

Whataboutism to derail

A discussion about it.

This 14-year-old girl

Purportedly, according to

"The washington post," told two

Of her girlfriends what happened

In real time.

Here's a tough question.

Do you think bill clinton,

In retrospect, was a predator?

John: but that's not what

This discussion is about.

You might as well have said

"Here's a tough question:

If you had to guess,

How many lobsters are there?

Like, total.

In the world."

Is that worth discussing?

Sure!

But first let's finish talking

About the senate candidate

Who may've made sexual advances

On a child.

And look, whether clinton

Engaged in predatory behavior

Is a legitimate question,

But it shouldn't really inform

What we do about roy moore.

And even if you believe

Democrats are guilty of a double

Standard, the solution isn't

To have no standard whatsoever.

This is why it's important to

Train ourselves to identify

These techniques, because their

Natural endpoint is the erosion

Of our ability to decide what's

Important, have an honest debate

And hold one another

Accountable.

And that erosion can be gradual

That it's hard to spot.

It's like being m*rder*d

By a sloth.

It happens very slowly,

And you might not notice

Until it's too late.

Listen, this is all bleak.

I can't pretend that it isn't,

Which is why it's important

To take some hope from

This year's small victories.

Like the muslim ban being

Blocked by the courts

After massive public protests.

Or the attempts to repeal

Obamacare stalling,

Thanks in part to people

Pressuring their lawmakers.

And just this week, in virginia,

Voters rejected ed gillespie

For governor after he ran

A trump-style dog-whistle

Campaign,

That is encouraging.

It's nice to know that if you

Use trump's tactics in a

Virginia gubernatorial election,

You do not get to be gubernator.

Further down the ballot there,

Tuesday also marked the defeat

Of bob marshall, who earlier

This year proposed a so-called

Bathroom bill.

He lost to danica roem, who will

Now be virginia's first

Openly transgender legislator.

And the tone she's taken

Is already markedly different.

Danica, you were running

Against robert marshall,

An incumbent, 13-term incumbent.

He's also a man who referred

To himself as virginia's chief

h*m*.

He refused to debate you

During the campaign.

Do you have anything you want to

Say to him?

Come january, delegate

Marshall will be one of

My constituents.

And I'm not gonna disrespect

My own constituents.

John: wow.

That is incredibly refreshing.

Just think about that.

She beat a man who openly

Disrespected her, but given the

Opportunity, she chose not

To respond by tweeting

"I'll fight for bob's right

To use any bathroom he wants,

But it's too late.

He already shit the bed

On election day.

Sad!"

And look, tuesday's results

Should not make you complacent.

They are no guarantee that the

Midterms will turn out well.

That's why you should take these

Moments of encouragement to help

You keep going.

Because the trump presidency

Is basically a marathon.

It's painful, pointless, and the

Majority of you didn't even

Agree to run it.

You were just signed up

By your dumbest friend.

And the fact is, we're not even

At mile 6 right now or possibly

Even mile 3, so there is

A long way to go.

And though you're exhausted

And your whole body is screaming

For you to give up and your

Nipples are chafing for some

Reason, the stakes are too high

For any of us to stop.

And I do realize that I'm saying

That as we're about to stop

Doing shows for the year.

But here's the thing.

We won't be going away entirely.

You may remember earlier this

Year, we used our

Catheter cowboy to try and get

Information to the president

In the ad breaks

Of "fox & friends."

Well, trump is still watching

That show.

We know this because "the times"

Wrote a generally negative piece

About its enormous influence

On him, and, because of that,

Called it the "most powerful

Tv show in america,"

A sentiment the hosts

Were very excited about.

This program, the program

You're watching, is, according

To "the new york times,"

The most powerful tv show

In america.

Do you know why, steve?

Because we have the best

Viewers.

Yes.

John: no.

No, you don't.

You absolutely don't.

Don't misunderstand.

And I'm not saying that we have

The best viewers.

No, I'm not saying that.

You guys are fine.

The best audience belongs to

"Ellen," because this is how

They greet her.

Here she is now,

Ellen degeneres.

[Cheers and applause]

John: none of you f*ckers

Did that when I came out.

None of you did it.

But the point is, just



Information was on fox,

Trump tweeted, "wow.

The failing 'new york times'

Said about 'fox & friends,'

The most powerful tv show

In america."

So information goes right from

That show into his brain,

Which is terrible.

Because we'd genuinely be better

Off if trump was getting daily

Briefings from an actual fox

And his friends, a hedgehog

And a weasel with its head stuck

In a tin can.

But if trump's going to keep

Watching that show, we're going

To spend our hiatus sneaking

Information through

Our catheter cowboy.

So a number of commercials are

Going to be airing on fox

News over the next few months.

Here's the first one.

Attention catheter patients.

I'm a professional cowboy.

I use catheters.

And there's two things I know.

I don't like pain when I cath,

And the term "clean coal"

Doesn't refer to the physical

Act of cleaning coal.

That would be impossible.

Coal is coal.

"Clean coal" is a marketing term

The coal industry came up with

For stuff like carbon capture

And sequestration, an expensive

Process that's shown limited

Results, at best.

Also frederick douglass is dead.

More tomorrow, bye bye!

John: good information.

That will be on fox in

The d.c. Area later this week.

And keep an eye out for more of

Them, because that cowboy's got

A bunch up his sleeve.

The u.s. Virgin islands has

A governor, not a president.

Here's a fun fact.

There's actually no federal law

Against this, thanks to

Something called

The first amendment.

Just because jared kushner

Is smarter than you doesn't mean

That he's smart.

The navy seals aren't actually

Seals.

I know, buddy.

I was disappointed too.

There are many non-gold

Decor schemes that are actually

Very appealing.

During an eclipse,

Don't do this.

Buddy, this can't be that hard.

Nazis bad.

One fish, two fish, red fish,

Arm of the executive branch that

Should operate free from white

House interference so as to

Avoid politically motivated

Prosecution.

Donald?

Donald?

I don't think he's getting

Any of this.

That's all for now, donald.

See you tomorrow.

And remember, if you're not

Enjoying this, there's no shame

In quitting.

John: moving on, before we

Go, as this is our last episode

Of the year, we wanted to thank

You so much for watching.

We've had a lot of fun

This season.

We didn't just cover trump.

We also transformed this desk

Into a bistro for our piece

On the french election.

I met the dalai lama and gave

Him a calculator watch.

We introduced you to the

Bolivian traffic zebras,

And you used our greenscreen

Version to put it in things

From "mad max: fury road

To "basic instinct"

To absolutely filling

The white house press room

With them.

Thank you so much

For taking part.

We also had weird al sing a song

About north korea.

We had penguins,

We had alligator statues,

Lobster supreme court justices,

And we had 5-wax presidents.

We stole alex jones's business

Model and sold million-dollar

Taint wipes with a bleach-blond

Doctor.

We out-mugged ajit pai with

This glorious monstrosity,

And most importantly, we exposed

The olsen twin for the fraud

That she is:

One person moving

Very quickly to trick

The human eye.

We actually --

And this is true --

Invited "them" to be on the show

Tonight to prove me wrong.

But apparently, "they"

Couldn't make it.

And as far as I'm concerned,

That is tantamount to an

Admission, so I'm making it

Official.

We got her!

We got her!

The truth feels great!

And before we go, there's a few

People that would love to

Come out and say goodbye to you.

They're all here.

The cowboy!

The zebra!

Mr. Nutterbutter!

And dr. Throup is here with

An incredible offer!

That's right, john!

You can now get 90% off

The moisture armored tactical

as*ault wipe!

John: 90% off!

So that's just $100,000!

Oh, it's a hell of a deal!

And remember they're to be

Applied in this area.

Apply with vigor and confidence.

John: thanks, doctor!

Please, call me "doctor"!

John: and the penguins

Are here!

The penguins are here!

Thanks so much for watching!

Thanks to all our staff.

We'll be back in february.

See you next year!

Good night!

The penguins!

♪ ♪

Sir, the world is in trouble.

We need you.

The fate of humanity is at

Stake.

Will you help us?

Mr. President?

I knew we could count on you.

I am afraid this isn't a one-man

Job.

We need all of you.

Mr. President.

Mr. President.

Mr. President?

Mr. President.

Gentlemen.

Let's go wax these bastards.