08x07 - National debt of the United States

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver". Aired: April 27, 2014 – present.*
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American late-night talk and news satire television program hosted by comedian John Oliver.
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08x07 - National debt of the United States

Post by bunniefuu »

Hi there!

Welcome to the show, still

Taking place in this blank void.

It's got white walls,

A glass table, and a big dork

Behind the counter.

This is basically an apple store

That only sells sadness.

Now we were off last week,

And a lot has happened

Since we last spoke.

The trial got underway for

Derek chauvin, whose entire

Defense seems to be, "see, what

Had happened was..."

In egypt, big boat got stuck.

Then, big boat got unstuck.

And for a few days,

Right-wing media lost their

Collective minds over

Lil nas x's new music video.

I could describe it to you,

But I think I'd rather let

Rudy giuliani do it instead.

It begins with the... This...

Whatever he is... This guy, uh,

Little nas, being seduced by the

Devil in the form of a snake.

And then he engages in a... This

Ridiculous, really, rather ugly

Dance with satan and

It's a sexual dance.

I don't know how much of

It I should describe, except you

Gotta get it.

It's... Um, he, um, lap dances

Him.

Oh, come on, rudy.

Don't give us that surprised

Face.

You can't pretend to be

A total stranger to lap dances

In the same oscar season that

You're nominated for

"Best junk adjustment while

Lying on a stranger's bed."

"Lap dances" is

Understating things

Considerably there.

Lil nas x spends an exquisite

Amount of time throwing it back

At the adversary.

Old scratch is getting ground on

There like an olive garden

Pepper mill.

The whole video is completely

Incredible, and frankly,

The only thing that could

Possibly make it more

Entertaining is watching a

Weird, old creep try to describe

It in g-rated terms while

Sitting on the set of a law firm

Commercial.

It's not the first remix I

Expected, but I am glad it

Exists.

But lil nas x twerking on satan

Seems positively wholesome

Compared to the news this week

Concerning matt gaetz...

A sentient ll bean premium

Double l traditional fit polo.

Gaetz is being investigated for

Potentially violating

Sex-trafficking laws involving

A minor... Something he denies,

Claiming there's actually

A multi million dollar extortion

Plot behind the investigation.

He even went on tucker carlson's

Show to explain his theory,

Unsuccessfully.

You say that it was... That

It was or is underway, there was

An investigation.

What is the basis of that

Investigation?

What is the allegation?

That's really not very clear

From these news stories.

Yeah.

Again, I only know what I've

Read in "the new york times."

I can say that actually

You and I went to dinner

About two years ago,

Your wife was there,

And I brought a friend of mine.

You'll remember her.

And she was actually threatened

By the fbi, told that if she

Wouldn't cop to the fact that

Somehow I was involved in some

Pay for play scheme, that she

Could face trouble.

I don't remember the woman

You're speaking of or

The context at all, honestly.

Wow.

Imagine being the one white man

On earth that tucker carlson

Won't defend.

Tucker was so clearly trying to

Nope his way out of that

Whole interview.

He looks like he wants to walk

Out of his own show.

The problem is, if he did,

It wouldn't be

"Tucker carlson tonight"

Anymore, it'd be "the matt gaetz

Digs his own grave adventure

Hour."

Look, I'm sure there'll be more

To discuss about this story

Later, probably during

Matt gaetz's sentencing phase,

But for now, let's move onto

Amazon, a company run by

Jeff bezos, who answers

The question "what if lex luthor

Was?"

And that's it.

Just "what if lex luthor was?"

He's a bald business maniac with

Too much money, zero empathy,

And weird supervillain vehicles.

He's just lex luthor.

This week, counting began on

A historic union vote by workers

At an amazon fulfillment center

In bessemer, alabama.

The drive has been seen

As a bellwether for the labor

Movement as a whole, and amazon

Workers frankly have plenty of

Reasons to fight to unionize.

Many complain about grueling

Work, unsafe conditions, with

Inadequate bathroom and meal

Breaks.

They treat you more like a

Product or a statistic than an

Actual human being.

For example, I'm a diabetic and

I don't have time to stop to

Check my blood sugar.

They have just constant quotas,

And if you can't get done what

They want you to get done,

Then you have no worth inside of

Their system.

That's terrible.

And the fact amazon workers are

Demoralized is something you

Knew, but it doesn't get any

Less upsetting no matter how

Many times you're reminded.

It's like hearing that

Dennis quaid's new wife is

Younger than his son, or that

Helena bonham carter has never

Won an oscar, or that no one has

Ever cleaned a single waterpark.

Seriously, when has a waterpark

Ever felt clean to you?

Open-to-close, it's full of

Filthy kids pissing themselves

Down scalding plastic slides

Into recycled water and

Night time is when the employees

f*ck in the tubes.

How would cleaning it even work?

What are they going to do,

Drain the lazy river

Every night?

Of course not.

You're swimming in the piss of

Thousands of people, many of

Whom have long since died.

Just deal with it.

And while we don't know

The results of this vote yet,

It is worth looking at just

How hard amazon has fought it.

They've apparently been sending

Workers up to five text messages

Per day discouraging them from

Joining a union; they've also

Held mandatory meetings that

Disparage unionization,

And then there's this:

Something I have never, ever

Seen before in writing about

Labor for 25, 30 years,

They have anti-union posters

In the bathroom stalls.

You know, when you go to the

Bathroom, who want to look at

That?

Yeha, nobody!

Nobody wants to look at that

Poster in the bathroom.

The only thing worse to see

While you're taking a dump

In a workplace bathroom stall is

An empty toilet paper roll,

Or kevin spacey.

How did you get in here?

Get out!

I'm sh1tting, kevin!

And speaking of bathroom breaks,

We've talked before about how,

Workers have said they've had to

Forego them to keep up with

Crushing quotas.

And some delivery drivers have

Reportedly resorted to urinating

In bottles.

And just this week, "the

Intercept" published an internal

Amazon memo, telling workers

That "delivery associates

Cannot, must not return to

Stations with bags with poop

Inside."

Something almost too awful to

Comprehend, as two of new york's

Morning news anchors conveyed in

Real time.

In some cases, employees

Defecating in bags.

Come on!

It's morning time.

People are having their coffee

And cereal right now.

This is one of those things,

Laurie, I'm not so interested in

Knowing all the details.

What, because then they come

And deliver your package?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a revolting

Story.

Nobody wants to endure a bag of

Shit over breakfast.

That's why piers morgan

No longer has a job.

And look, I get not wanting to

Know details about things.

As a general rule,

I don't need to know how most

Things get done.

But I do make an exception

If one of the steps involves

Someone having to shit in a bag.

That goes for any process.

I'm not really all that

Interested in how

An origami crane gets made,

But if you told me one of the

Steps involved you having to

Shit in a bag, I'm going to need

A detailed, step-by-step look

Into the procedure.

Because something horrendous

Is clearly happening there.

And the fact is, we do have to

Keep paying attention to this.

Because the outcome of

Bessemer's vote will have

Major implications.

Amazon is the second largest

Private employer in america.

And this unionizing effort

Could determine whether their

Employees have the power to

Demand decent working

Conditions.

And the harder the company tries

To convince their workers that

They don't need union

Protection, the clearer it

Becomes that amazon executives

...much like the bags that are

Apparently lying around their

Delivery vehicles... Are

Completely full of shit.

And now, this.

And now...

Some very unwelcome news

Regarding peeps.

Peeps and pepsi?

The two are collaborating on a

Marshmallow flavored soda.

B where!

The peeps have allied with the

Vile pepsi corporation!

And unholy liquid!

We cannot talk about peeps

Pepsi.

He lies!

It is completely within his

Powers to simply not to mention

It!

The only way you can get a

Drink is through social media,

And a promotion that is going on

There.

And asks fans to use the hashtag

Hanging with my peeps.

I swear to god, if you use

The hashtag hanging with my

Peeps, I will break into your

House!

The pepsi peeps partnership

Tops our consumer news today.

Two of my favorite things were

At.

Braids because peeps are one of

Your favorite thing, I'm

Rethinking your friendship,

My friend.

Yeah!

I know a lot of people are

Like, I will make my own.

Get some peeps and some pepsi

Mix it together, if they don't

Win the promotion.

That might also lead to bad

Things.

Do not attempt to create your

Own peeps flavored beverage.

The only flavor you will create

Is sorrow!

Just days after announcing a

Partnership with pepsi, peeps is

Continuing to get into the drink

Market.

Now at 7-eleven, you can enjoy

Yourself a little peeps latte.

No!

Not a latte!

Everything but a breakfast latt

Latte!

Moving on.

Our main story tonight concerns

The national debt... The world's

Most boring $28 trillion.

And I know, just saying

"$28 Trillion" might sound

Confusing.

How much is that, exactly?

Well, to put it one way:

It's $28 trillion.

To put it another way,

It's 28 million millions.

To put it a third way, it's

An absolute f*ck-ton of money.

But regardless, the national

Debt is a complete obsession

In this country.

Here in new york, we even have

A debt clock that counts up

In real time.

It actually made headlines

A little over a decade ago when

The debt hit fourteen digits.

The national debt just passed

$10 Trillion, so the clock's

Caretakers had to squeeze a one

And the dollar sign into the

Same square.

It's pretty scary.

It's a pretty big number.

Incomprehensible.

It's too big.

The clock was put up in 1989

By helena durst's grandfather

When the national debt was just

Under $3 trillion.

Now that the debt has passed

The $10 trillion mark, durst

Likes to recite a poem by her

Grandfather.

Borrow, borrow, borrow.

Enjoy today and tomorrow,

For tomorrow is going to be

Terrible.

I'm sorry, but that

Poem sucks.

The rhyme scheme's all over

The place, and if tomorrow's

Going to be terrible, why would

You enjoy it?

That was clearly the work of

A man almost as good at writing

Poetry as he was at raising

Children who aren't

Serial K*llers.

Oh, yeah... The clock was put up

By that durst family.

The bathroom m*rder burp dursts.

So thanks very much for

The dumb clock that doesn't

Tell time, you wealthy

Bathroom m*rder burpers.

But the truth is,

Our national debt is undeniably

Big, and between the trillions

In coronavirus stimulus bills

And the infrastructure plans

Biden unveiled just this week,

It's poised to get even bigger.

And republicans, in particular,

Seem outraged about that.

This chart showing debt is

Not just about the big number.

It's not just about

The $30 trillion of debt.

This is about tyranny.

History is screaming this

Warning at us.

Countries that bankrupt

Themselves and destroy their

Economies simply aren't around

Very long.

There will be a day of

Reckoning, a debt crisis.

And it won't be pretty.

Deficits do matter.

How long do you think your

Family would last if every

Month, you spent more and more

On the credit card and made the

Minimum payment?

Not long.

Look, I know that all

Sounds pretty scary, but for

What it's worth,

The national debt is nothing

Like a credit card.

For a start, we don't have



Nor do we get letters

In the mail every day saying

We're preapproved for

A brand new national debt.

Leave us alone, you f*cking

Parasites!

But if we have huge clocks to

Measure it, we're considering

An infrastructure bill that

Could add two trillion to it,

And some are implying that our

Creditors could be turning up

Any day now with a baseball bat

To repossess our bridges and

Dams because of it, we thought

Tonight might be a good time to

Talk about the national debt:

How it works, how valid concerns

About it are, and how we should

Think about it moving forward.

And let's start with the basics,

Like the difference between

The debt and a deficit.

A country runs a deficit when

It spends more money on things

Like the military,

Social programs,

And everything else the

Government does... Than it

Brings in... Mostly through

Taxes.

Now, to pay for a deficit,

The government then borrows

Money, thus accruing debt.

So the deficit is a yearly

Measurement of how much we're

In the red.

And the debt is the total amount

That we owe, accumulated over

Time.

And for decades, in political

Ads, the debt has been portrayed

As a burden we're placing on

Future generations.

Basically, making that argument

That we're running up their

Credit card, and one day,

The bill's going to come due.

You owe the united states

Government, in round numbers,

$50,000.

What would you like for

Christmas?

I would like you to fix the

Debt, so I can have a future.

I pledge allegiance to

America's debt, and the chinese

Government that lends us money.

Congress must stop digging

A deep hole of debt that we'll

Never get out of.

Please stop digging.

Yeah, pretty dramatic.

Crying babies, exasperated

Santas, and even a child

Watching uncle sam

Digging a grave.

And quick piece of advice, kids.

If you do see a man in any kind

Of costume digging a large hole

In the middle of the desert,

Do not approach him.

Do not interfere with his

Digging.

I'm not saying he should be

Doing that.

I'm saying you're not the one

Who should try to stop him.

If he's willing to dig

A big hole, he's willing to dig

A small one.

Run away and tell an adult.

A non-costumed adult.

But ads like those are wildly

Misleading.

For instance, that pledge of

Allegiance ad talked about how

Much we owe the chinese

Government.

That is something you hear a

Lot.

But for the record, the majority

Of government debt is actually

Owned by american investors.

For example, if you have a

Pension, you might own some of

That debt in the form of

Government bonds, because

They're a pretty safe

Investment.

Foreign investors only own

Around a third of our debt.

And while, yes, it's true, china

Does own over a trillion dollars

Of it, which isn't nothing...

It's around 5%...

For what it's worth,

They're not even our largest

Foreign creditor... Japan is.

And while the debt is often

Talked about as being something

We're running up with new

Spending, the truth is, before

The pandemic hit, most of our

Debt was the result of long,

Steady growth in programs

That we'd long ago committed to,

Like medicare and other

Entitlements.

So we're very much getting stuff

For the money we're spending.

And that actually brings us to

A really important point here:

Going into debt can actually be

A good investment for the

Country.

Essentially, as economists will

Tell you, the key question is,

"Are you spending money on the

Right things?"

We need to think of the debt.

Are you creating money for real

Economic activity?

If you're doing that just to

Give somebody money, then, yeah,

You've got a problem.

But if I'm a private individual

And I go to the bank and say,

"I got this wonderful new idea.

I just need the money to build

My factory."

Nobody says, "oh, that's

Horrible."

You just increased the money

Supply.

Because we all go, yeah, but

There's a factory there.

It's a real thing.

Right.

Taking on debt to build a

Factory that creates jobs and

Increases economic output

Is probably a smart investment.

Especially if it's one that

Makes this actual pillowcase

Depicting a nude nicolas cage

Lounging in a banana peel with

Two giant foxes in the

Background.

I mean, look at this thing!

As the description says, it has

An "ophisticated seam" with

"Stylish style," and I'm more

Than happy to cosign on both of

Those claims.

And the reason is, you can

Consider me a satisfied

Customer.

I feel so much more

Ophisticated!

The point is, republicans love

To argue that government should

Be run like a business, but tend

To conveniently forget that some

Extremely valuable companies got

That way, in part, because they

Had long periods where they

Spent a shitload more than they

Took in.

So as you can see, already,

Things are a lot more nuanced

Than simply, "hey, uncle sam,

Please stop digging."

And it is worth taking a moment

To look at the history of the

Debate over the national debt.

Because the argument republicans

Often make is that they are the

Responsible ones who want to

Reduce the debt and rein in

Spending, whereas democrats

Don't give a shit about the

Debt, and just love recklessly

Throwing money around.

But that story just does not

Match up to reality.

Take ronald reagan.

He spent years complaining that

Deficits were a sign that the

Federal government had simply

Lost its way.

I think the answer to curing

Inflation is a balanced budget.

Now, how do you do that?

I mean, that's not... How do you

Balance the budget?

Well, balancing the budget is

Like protecting your virt...

You don't spend more than you

Take in.

Right?

Yeah, it's like protecting

Your virtue.

You have to learn to say no.

Really?

An applause break?

Is there anything weirder than

Calling someone's virginity

Their virtue?

Because as far as virtues go,

It is a pretty shitty one.

I'm not saying there's something

Inherently wrong with not having

Sex.

That's a personal choice.

I've frequently not had sex

Due to lots of people's

Personal choices.

But if that is the best thing

About you, you should probably

Get some other virtues.

But the key thing to know is,

Reagan didn't, in fact, end up

Spending his presidency saying

No.

Because he wasn't really

Promising not to spend money,

So much as promising not to

Spend it on certain people.

His campaign rhetoric about

"Welfare queens" played into the

r*cist trope that black people

Were fraudulently benefiting

From wasteful government

Spending.

And as president, he followed

Through by making cuts to basic

Elements of the social safety

Net, like food stamps, welfare,

And medicaid.

But he also massively increased

Defense spending, while cutting

Taxes, so the government took in

Less money, creating large

Deficits that wound up tripling

The national debt.

Which I guess, in his terms,

Made reagan america's hottest

Little slut.

Then came these two guys.

And between bush senior and

Clinton, they more or less did

What reagan had promised to do:

Cutting spending and raising

Taxes enough to achieve

Budget surpluses by the end

Of the '90s.

And the debt was briefly

Starting to come down, until

This lovable human rights

Violation entered the picture.

Because he immediately signed

A massive tax cut, launched an

Expensive w*r on terror, and

Then signed a second round of

Tax cuts.

All of which made our national

Debt explode, but republicans,

Strangely, didn't seem to give

A shit.

Until, that is, obama became

President.

He inherited a historic

Recession, and immediately

Signed a large stimulus bill,

But afterwards was met with

Fervent opposition to any

Additional spending, mainly from

Republicans who had suddenly

Re-found their hatred for

"Deficits," sometimes expressing

It in truly remarkable ways.

Our free stuff today is being

Paid for by taking money from

Our children and borrowing from

China.

When that note comes due... And

This isn't r*cist, so, yeah, try

It, try it anyway, this isn't

r*cist... But it's gonna be like

sl*very when that note is due,

Right?

We are gonna be beholden to a

Foreign master.

Uh, yeah, no.

That's just not how any of that

Works.

The debt isn't going to just

Suddenly "come due," all at

Once.

And being in debt to someone

Isn't the same as being enslaved

By them.

If you think a portion of us

Treasury bonds being owned by

Foreign investors is anything

Like sl*very, you know both

A very small amount about

The financial system and a very

r*cist amount about sl*very.

Even if you

Preface something that isn't

r*cist with "this isn't r*cist,"

It will still sound r*cist.

If you said,

"A lot of people buy jeans at

Old navy"... Totally fine.

But if you said, "a lot of

People... And this isn't r*cist,

Yeah, try it, try it anyway,

This isn't r*cist... But a lot

Of people buy jeans at

Old navy," now that suddenly

Sounds like something that's

Going to require about three

Pages of your notes app.

And the thing is, republicans

Putting the brakes on obama's

Recovery spending is now widely

Considered to have been a big

Mistake.

Most experts agree that the

Federal government didn't spend

As much on stimulus as it should

Have following the financial

Crisis, forcing state and local

Governments into austerity that

Delayed the economic recovery by

About four years.

And then came this f*cking guy.

He campaigned on eliminating the

Entire national debt, only to

Then implement an absolutely

Massive tax cut, resulting in

Huge deficits.

Most corporations who benefited

Used the money not on

Investments in things like

Factories, but on stock

Buybacks.

As for individuals, nearly half

The tax cuts went to the top

Five percent of income earners.

So we gave more money to people

Who already had it.

And despite claiming that

Trump's tax cuts would

"Pay for themselves,"

They very much did not.

In fact, they did so little to

Boost the economy, they're

Projected to cost us

$1.9 trillion over

A 10-year period.

All of which clearly left some

"Fiscally responsible"

Republicans who voted for those

Tax cuts in a pretty awkward

Position.

Ua belong to a party that has

Green light to historic

Expansion of deficits and debt.

And it's just a plain fact.

Do I wish that it was a

Higher priority for the

President to rein in spending on

The debt?

Yes.

Do you think your colleagues,

The republican party, will

Rediscover its concern about

Debt and deficits?

Oh, sure.

Sure.

I mean, isn't that the most

Cynical, phony thing...

Oh, look, there's an element

Of it.

Doesn't that make you wanna

Puke?

You're touching into

Something that, as you know,

I have raged against.

I do not like that man

Ted cruz.

I do not like his far right

Views.

I do not like him in these

Reeds.

I do not like him when he feeds.

I do not like him by a wall.

I do not like this shit at all.

I do not like him as santa's

Elf.

That man ted cruz can f*ck

Himself.

That is a pretty flagrant

Admission of a double standard.

The only clearer example may

Have been when mick mulvaney,

Trump's former chief of staff,

Said, "the worst thing in the

Whole world is deficits when

Barack obama was the president.

Then donald trump became

President, and we're a lot less

Interested as a party."

And that is just flat-out

Admitting the whole game.

But even if you put all of that

Bad-faith hypocrisy aside,

We are still left with

The key question:

How much debt is too much?

And the interesting answer to

That is, "nobody really knows."

For many years, we thought

The best way to measure debt

Was to compare it to

The gross domestic product.

Basically, measuring how much in

Total the country owes, versus

How much it produces each year.

And the economic consensus was

That debt exceeding gdp... Or

Even getting close to it... Was

A hard red line that could not

Be crossed without risking

A financial crisis.

It was something occasionally

Expressed in fairly over-the-top

Ways, like in this john stossel

Clip from 2011.

Our government keeps

Spending.

You know, we're already

$14.5 trillion in debt.

But you could say, "so what?

Look around.

America's doing pretty well.

What's the worst that could

Happen?"

Well, this could happen.

These violent protests broke out

Once greece was so deep in debt

That greece had trouble

Borrowing more money.

Greece spent so much that

By last year, they owed more

Money than their entire economy

Produced.

No wonder they're in trouble.

We won't reach that level of

Debt until, well, oops.

Pretty soon.

We're on a clear track to a

Greek-type crisis.

Oh, come on, stossel!

Cutting to footage of a riot

Can make anything seem more dire

Than might actually be the case.

Rege-jean page is

Apparently not appearing on the

Second season of "bridgerton."

So what?

What's the worst that could

Happen?

Well, this could happen.

Oh shit!

Feels pretty scary, doesn't it?

But the truth is much more

Complex.

Because, a, his character arc

Is mostly wrapped up and

The duke doesn't appear in

The rest of the novels.

It's really a generational story

Of a whole family!

Also, you can absolutely

Lose the duke!

It's actually perfectly

In his character to start

Something he doesn't finish.

But it's more complex when it

Comes to our economy, too.

Because something fascinating

Happened around last june:

Largely because of increased

Borrowing resulting from the

First round of covid stimulus,

Our national debt actually

Surpassed the size of our gdp.

You know, kind of like greece.

But all those disaster scenarios

That john stossel's

Performatively exaggerated voice

Fluctuations warned us about?

None of them happened.

It didn't suddenly cost us a lot

More to borrow money due to

Higher interest rates.

We didn't, as you may have

Noticed, become greece.

In fact, despite adding

$4 Trillion to the debt last

Year, interest payments on that

Debt actually declined.

And that isn't even a one-off:

As our debt has risen in recent

Years, interest rates have

Fallen to historic lows.

So what is the reason for that?

Well, I don't know.

I'm not an economist, nor do I

Don't know much about math.

Which I know may be surprising,

Given that I have the face of

Someone who has a favorite kind

Of graphing calculator.

What is shocking is that even

Expert economists can't really

Explain it either.

Here's the former chief of the

Imf basically admitting as much.

To be perfectly frank, we do

Not... At least I do not,

I don't want to talk for the

Profession... We've had this

Steady decrease in the interest

Rate since the mid '80s,

Continuing a bit more

In the crisis, but, you know,

Continuing now.

And we have no explanation.

Yeah, they don't know!

Now, he went on to point out

That there are any number of

Possibilities.

It may have something to do with

Aging populations in advanced

Economies, china's high savings

Rate, the general lack of

Capital-intensive investment

Opportunities, or merely the

Fact that richard campbell of

Omaha, nebraska, hasn't stepped

On a crack in the sidewalk in

Over 30 years.

But the point is, economists

Really have no f*cking idea.

In fact, the congressional

Budget office has now said that

The debt-to-gdp ratio has no set

Tipping point where a financial

Crisis is imminent.

So taken together, all of this

Has made many economists start

Changing the way they think

About debt.

Thinking that very basically,

So long as our economy grows

At a rate greater than the

Interest we're paying on our

Debt, we can come out ahead.

In the same way that you'd come

Out ahead if you borrowed money

At 2% interest and then invested

It somewhere and got 5% returns.

But the larger point is, this

Whole field is in a bit of flux

Right now.

Some economists believe that we

Shouldn't get complacent... That

A debt crisis is still on the

Horizon, just not at the tipping

Point we'd previously thought.

Another, more radical argument,

Is that the government can in

Fact create all the money it

Needs to pay for stuff,

As long as it doesn't generate

Inflation.

The point is, there is a

Good-faith debate to be had over

How to handle our national debt

Over the long term.

But right now, most economists

Actually agree that, with

Interest rates at historic lows,

The question shouldn't really

Be, "how much debt are we taking

On?"

As much as, "what is the value

Of what we're getting for it in

Return?"

And there are certainly dumb

Fiscal decisions we could make,

Like tax cuts for the rich.

We've tried that multiple times,

And if they were the magic key

To eliminating our debt

Long-term, we probably would

Have seen signs of it working

By now.

But there are smart financial

Decisions, that more than

Justify going into debt, like

Spending on social programs,

Infrastructure, or,

On an individual level,

This nicolas cage pillow.

It's the second best investment

I've ever made, after, of

Course, buying another

Nicolas cage pillow.

I was worried my wife would get

Jealous, so this one is to

Replace my wife.

And amidst the current crisis,

Many experts are less concerned

About us spending too much

Than spending too little.

And if it turns out that

Inflation or interest rates

Do start to rise, we should

Absolutely start cutting

Deficits, although not by

Cutting government programs

People need, but through taxing

People who can afford it.

Look, no one credible is saying

Deficits don't matter, or that

We should borrow as if the sky's

The limit.

What they're saying is,

The debate shouldn't be about

Whether debt is good or bad.

It should be about whether

The investments we're making

Are worth it or not.

And if you're still worried

About debt because you've been

Told you're burdening your

Children and children's

Children, well, I have some good

Those future generations

Have a special message for you.

Hello.

Hello.

Hey there.

We are your children.

Your grandchildren.

And your great grandchildren.

And we have a message for

You.

Stop using us to scare us

About the national debt.

You idiots have no idea what

It works.

Take the stupid debt clock.

Do even know what a clock

Is?

Clock, not a clock.

Also, that isn't always a bad

Thing.

Yes, going into debt to give

Money back to people already

Have too much is stupid.

Look at this guy.

Slick flame thrower, bro.

You can use that to build new

Briroads roads and bridges.

You can use it to improve

Schools, which would make us

Into a better labor force.

You can use or to improve

Health care.

You can even use it to buy

These pillows, which will become

Treasured family heirlooms.

The important thing about debt

Is what you get out of it.

And what we get out of it.

You see, debt can be a tool for

Growth.

In fact, the debt to gdp ratio

Is not as reliable a metric as

Assumed.

They turned out to be largely

Flawed, given the continuing

Inverse relationship between

Rising debt and low interest

Rates.

So it follows, the economy's

Capacity to improve debt without

Following massive increases.

It is so simple.

The easiest thing in the

World.

I am nine years old at even I

Understand that.

And if you are so concerned

About our future, maybe it is

Worth spending now on things

Like preparing for the impacts

Of climate change.

The clock is really taking on

That one.

It's not a clock.

Please.

Please.

Believe us when we say, we

Are not as scared of being born

Into debt as we are of being

Born into a country that didn't

Invest into our future.

And we are also scared of

That guy digging the hole the

Hole.

I think that goes without

Saying.

So when it comes to the

Debt...

Your children, grandchildren,

And great grandchildren, all

Have one message for you.

Grow the f*ck up.

That's our show.

Thank you so much for watching.

We'll see you next week.

Good night.
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