08x17 - Health care sharing ministries

[bunniefuu]

Hi there!

Welcome to the show!

Still coming to you from this

Blank void.

Think of it like disney world...

A bright wonderland where,

For some reason,

People get excited to see

A large, pantsless bird.

It's been a busy week.

Rudy giuliani's law license was

Suspended, the supreme court

Released a series of rulings,

One of which involved

Justice breyer having to explain

What snapchat was,

And then there was this:

Senate republicans tonight

Blocking a democratic voting

Bill that would have overhauled

The country's election system.

Republicans tonight slamming

The bill as a partisan power

Grab by democrats that would

Federalize elections, including

Preventing states from requiring

Voter i.d.

S1 would take away the rights

Of people in each of the



Election rules work best for

Their citizens.

Well....

Yeah, it would.

Because history shows certain

People in certain states have

Determined which election rules

Work best for certain citizens.

Problem,

That's the whole f*cking

Problem, collins.

Your party might know that if it

Wasn't so busy fighting to cover

Up that history.

Although I do get it, if I had

The power to cover up past

Mistakes, I'd probably erase

The whole drumpf thing from

The internet, along with about

Two decades of haircuts.

But, like my barber/therapist

Tells me, "we can't change

History, we can only prevent it

From happening again."

And the defeat of this bill

Comes as republicans in state

Legislatures have pushed nearly



Restricting voting rights,

Which, in many cases, are fueled

By lies about voter fraud in

The last election, despite those

Lies continually falling apart.

Just this week, a michigan

Republican-led senate

Investigation published a report

Finding "no evidence of

Widespread or systematic fraud

In the state's handling of

The election."

And there's actually another,

Even wilder claim that's

Unraveling in truly spectacular

Fashion.

It's something called

"Italygate," which isn't

Actually referring to the many

Times the cuomo brothers did

"News incest," but it is a spicy

Meat-a-ball of a conspiracy.

And there were some developments

Earlier this month, when emails

Surfaced between mark meadows,

Tr*mp's chief of staff, and

The acting attorney general

That were sent last december.

Among meadows' requests:

That rosen look into italygate,

A conspiracy theory that people

In italy used m*llitary

Technology and satellites to

Switch Tr*mp votes to biden

Votes in u.s. Voting machines.

Right.

The theory is, m*llitary

Satellites apparently stole

The election.

And I know that sounds stupid,

And that's because it is.

And it got early traction thanks

To this journalist, who's been

Called "the sean hannity of

Italy."

Which already might be the

Meanest thing I've ever heard

In my life.

But the key question still is,

How did that theory get to

The white house?

Well, last weekend,

"The washington post" filled in

A key connection, and I'm going

To tell you about it not because

It's important, but because it

Is incredible.

And it concerns this woman,

Michele roosevelt edwards,

A businesswoman and sole

Surviving consumer of

The "bump it."

The email meadows sent

Concerning italygate included

This letter, which outlined

The conspiracy, and was printed

On the letterhead of a company

Edwards runs.

And it doesn't stop there...

Because another of her firms was

Pushing the italygate claims

Around the same time.

And while edwards claims she was

Unaware of that letter, the more

You learn about her, the harder

It is to take anything she says

At face value.

Because this woman has lived

Many amazing lives.

After unsuccessfully running

For congress in the '80s, she

Had a stint designing children's

Clothing, saying she was

"Known as the coco chanel in

The children's industry,"

A claim supported by no one.

She later reinvented herself

As a peace broker for

The somali people, telling

Interviewers, "they call me

The mother of somalia, I have

Nine million children."

And who, exactly, are "they"

There?

Because unless the somali people

Unanimously voted to refer to

What you'd get if

Callista gingrich stuck a fork

Into an outlet as

"Their national mommy,"

I'm really going to have to stop

You right there.

And as edwards eagerly inserted

Herself into somali affairs,

A naval intelligence officer who

Once worked with her was quoted

No

As saying, "the problem with

Michele is separating fact from

Fiction.

What is real, and what is

Made up?"

To which I'd say, "for a start,

Maybe the nine million children

Thing."

But wait, it doesn't stop there.

Because earlier this year,

Edwards was featured on this

Tv show in iceland, after taking

Over an airline there... It's

Called "wow" air... It's

Terrible; that's not the point;

No

We don't have time.

And during the interview,

She took the reporter on a tour

Of her vast, $30 million

Virginia estate.

Although it was clear straight

Away something was off.

It's nearly 1,500 acres.

It takes 11 people full-time

To manage the outside of the

Property on a full-time basis.



Three kitchens.

No

How many of them do you use?

All three.

That's why the chef's here.

The kitchens were actually

Pretty empty, hardly any signs

Of activity.

And the master chef was not

On hand either to brew coffee:

That came in a box from a

Doughnut chain.

Okay, so just to make

Sure I have this straight... She

Employs 11 people to take care

Of her 1500 acre estate that

Contains three kitchens, no

Personal effects, and one man

Whose job seems to be to pour

Takeout dunkin' into a styrofoam

No

Cup while dressed like the first

Result you get when you google

"Silly cartoon chef."

And if it seemed like

The reporter is hinting at

Something there, it's because

He very much was.

Before we wrap up... Because

We started with a tour of your

Home, when I was just looking of

Where I should go on... In a

Search engine, the stuff that

Came up was all real estate

Listings, and that this place

Was for sale.

Mmm-hm.

Is it for sale?

No.

It's not now.

And how long have you been

Here?

This is a recent acquisition

For us.

It's very sort of...

It's very formal.

It's almost like walking into

A... A rented property.

No.

It's not rented property,

I can assure you.

So this is where you live,

This is your home.

Yes, this is...

This is your property.

Yes.

No, it isn't.

Because of course it isn't!

In fact, the actual owner of

That property was shown that

Video and said, "she's in my

House.

How is she in my house?"

Which is just spectacular.

And the answer may be that

Edwards... In addition to being

The coco chanel for children and

The somali mommy... Has also

Been a licensed realtor in

The area, which I'm guessing is

Helpful when she needs a new

Place to not-live.

And the thing is, this story

Is funny because it's a

Cartoonishly desperate attempt

To steal an election,

Which somehow involves

A squatter dressed as

Orville reddenbacher's

First wife who got written out

Of the will.

And I'm glad I got to tell you

About it.

But it's also important to

Remember, there are far more

Effective methods undermining

Democracy as we speak... Like

Allowing states to pass laws

Restricting ballot access.

The bullshit artists to really

Watch out for are the ones

Urging civility while arguing

It's none of our business

People from voting, not the ones

No

Wearing gold bow ties in homes

They don't own, they're the ones

Urging civility while arguing

That it's none of our business

No if some states want to bar

People from voting, because that

Is the kind of behavior that

Should make us all stand up and

Say, she is in our government,

How is she in our government?

And now this.

And now...

On the occasion of his departure

From c-span, one last salute to

The most patient man on

Television.

Next up is louis.

Good morning, welcome to the

Conversation.

Yes, hi.

Go ahead, please.

Hello?

Yes, you are on the air,

Go ahead.

Oh, on air where?

C-span?

Yes, go ahead, good morning.

When a pro-trumper comes on

There, you interrupt them, ask

Them questions, trying to back

Them down from being a

Pro-trumper.

But yet an anti-trumper, you

Have a nasty habit of letting

Them rant and rave.

What we need is another

Edward r. Murrow, who went

To w*r.

Walter cronkite, who went to

w*r.

But instead, we got you, steve.

My comments are okay.

You are sounding loud and

Clear.

Very good.

What topic are we speaking

About, because I am...

I am against the word

"g*dd*mn" being used on the

Airwaves.

And you just used it.

You guys are nothing but

Hacks.

Please don't cut me off.

I know I see your hand going

There, getting ready to cut me

Off, because you can't deal with

The truth.

And that shouldn't be too

Much... Oh, don't reach for the

Button.

I am making good points.

No, I am reaching for

"The new york times."

I want to make sure we can show

The three headlines here.

Please continue.

Okay.

Um...

Moving on.

Our main story tonight

Concerns health care, the field

Responsible for repairing

Organs, treating cancer, and

Removing foreign objects from

Rectums, which have recently

Included a "plastic turtle,"

A "fork," "six magic markers,"

And a "cat toy bell" which,

Credit where its due, is the

Most promising advancement in

Cat hiding places since

"Under the dresser."

Access to health care is a big

Problem in america, and one of

The key reasons is that health

Insurance is often linked to

Employment.

Why is that the case?

Well, because we do it wrong.

There's a right way to do it,

But we don't do it that way.

We do it the wrong way.

And this is a particular problem

At the moment, because

Employment is still down



Pre-pandemic level.

All of which means many are

Struggling to find health care

Coverage right now.

So they might be intrigued if

They stumble on an ad like this.

My health care costs were

Gonna double this year.

Double.

Doubled.

It was down to health care or

My student loans.

I found a better way.

It's neighbors helping

Neighbors.

Liberty healthshare.

It's freedom from insurance.

At liberty healthshare,

We support each other and keep

Health costs down.

We're changing the way

You're paying for health care.

This is the way it should be.

We're all in this together.

Together.

Well, hold on, because

I'm not sure how "together"

You all are.

What I saw there was a bunch of

People together with warm lens

Flares, and then one weird older

Man very much on his own in

Black and white.

He's in a slightly different

Thing, and we're not going to

Say why, but on some level,

I think we all know.

That ad is for something called

A health care sharing ministry.

And if you haven't heard of them

Before, you may have come across

One and not even realized it,

Because they have been growing

Fast in the u.s.

And the key phrase in that ad is

"Freedom from insurance."

Because the most important thing

To know about health care

Sharing ministries... Or hcsms

...isn't just that they can be

Cheaper than health insurance,

Which they can, it's that

They're also not

Health insurance.

Generally, they're nonprofits

Where people who share religious

Beliefs... Usually christianity

...agree to help cover

Each others' medical bills.

Here is a heartwarming story

About what one of them looks

Like in practice.

We're praying for a young

Lady named kimberly.

Bob steadman and his family

Are praying for someone they've

Never met.

She had a shunt installed

In her brain.

They've also prepared a card

With a check for $561.

To bear her burden by sending

Them some money.

A scene like this plays out

Here once a month.

It does take a measure of

Faith to do it.

We are sharing.

This is so different than what

We're used to in our society.

He's right.

People actually looking out

For each other does sound better

Than our current system,

Get sick, have

Insurance decline coverage,

And then hope debra messing

Retweets your gofundme.

That's great, debra, but did you

Donate?

Did you?

Did you, debra?

And it does feel more personal,

Sending $500 a month to

A stranger in need than to

A company that sounds like

Someone made up a word after

Getting a shitty scrabble hand.

Perhaps that's why the

Local-news team who covered that

Story seemed so moved after it

Ended.

I mean, can you imagine

Being that person and getting

The check in the mail?

You know, not knowing that

Someone was gonna help you and

Then suddenly you have all this

Help?

Right.

It's all about faith, isn't it?

Faith that it's gonna get paid.

Faith in god.

And it's just amazing.

It's incredible.

Yeah, of course they're

Into this sh*t.

Faith?

Strangers?

Coming together?

Throw in a runaway dog who found

His owner in the hospital even

Though he'd never been to

The hospital and you've got

Yourself a schedule one local

News thirst trap.

And hcsms are definitely an

Alternative.

But as you've probably guessed

Because you're learning about

Them on this show, and not

"What if john oliver was somehow

Less angry, less english, and

Had jack ryan money?"

There are also some significant

Drawbacks, which, depending on

The company in question,

Can range from the disquieting

To the disqualifying.

So tonight, let's talk about

Health care sharing ministries.

What they are, what they do, and

More importantly, what they

Don't do, and the first thing to

Know is, hcsms have actually

Existed in the united states for

Decades, traditionally serving

Small, insular communities like

Mennonites and the amish.

However, the 2010 affordable

Care act included a loophole

That exempted uninsured people

From paying the tax penalty if

They were a member of an hcsm.

And that was clearly immediately

Appealing to anyone who wanted

To opt o of obamacare.

In fact, some hcsms,

Like liberty healthshare,

One of the biggest ministries,

Have specifically targeted

A conservative audience.

Liberty has run ads on the

Blaze, and also sponsored cpac

...in fact, remember that famous

Moment when Tr*mp molested

The flag?

The liberty logo was an

Eyewitness.

And liberty even made its sales

Pitch directly to the cpac

Audience during panels like

This one.

If you want the government to

Take care of you and you think

They do a great job doing it,

Health sharing is not for you.

If you wanna stick it to 'em,

Sign up for liberty

Healthshare.

On a list of the worst

Sounds known to man,

"Self-satisfied cpac laughter"

Has to be right near the top,

b*at only by "weeping kitten"

And "mother's orgasm."

Now, that affordable care act

Loophole did try to put some

Limits in place, to keep things

From getting out of hand.

It stated that your ministry...

Or, crucially, a predecessor of

It, had to have been in

Continuous existence since 1999.

But that predecessor detail

Left room for exploitation.

Because new ministries simply

Started affiliating themselves

With previously-existing

Churches.

Take one called

Trinity healthshare.

It was founded in 2018, which is

...and this is true... After



Still qualified, because it

"Derived its existence from the

Baptist church, which has been

In existence and continually

Sharing since the 1600s."

Which is obvious bullshit.

It's like me claiming this show

Has been around for 13 billion

Years because the big bang was

Also a bright expanse containing

Extremely dense material.

That's just not how anything

Works.

So a loophole that was intended

To be small got pretty big...

And even bigger once obamacare's

Individual mandate stopped being

Enforced during the Tr*mp years.

And the result of all this was

That the popularity of these

Ministries exploded, from an

Estimated 200,000 members

A decade ago, to more than

A million today.

And while hcsms will insist they

Make it abundantly clear that

They're not health insurance,

Many do seem to go out of their

Way to make themselves appear

As insurance-like as possible.

For a start, they're sometimes

Sold through insurance brokers

...alongside actual insurance

Plans... And while the obamacare

Marketplace offers plans in

Four "metal" categories:

Bronze, silver, gold, and

Platinum.

A company called altrua offered

Plans in gold, silver, bronze,

And copper, rebranding them last

Year to diamond, emerald,

Sapphire, and ruby.

Although it's still pretty clear

What they're trying to do there

...very much blur the line,

While also throwing some unfair

Shade at ruby, the objective

Goat of the cardinal gems.

She's red, known for her flaws,

And responsible for the most

Iconic slippers in the history

Of cinema.

Eat your f*cking hearts out,

Sapphire and emerald, because

You could literally never.

But while these hcsms may have

The optics of insurance, there

Are some very important

Differences.

For a start, they don't have to

Abide by laws governing

Insurance products, meaning

There's nothing stopping them

From placing restrictions on

Coverage for pre-existing

Conditions.

Which is exactly what they do.

And not only that... Many won't

Cover services considered

"Essential" under the aca,

Like treatment for substance

Abuse, or mental health care.

In fact, altrua excludes those,

And also treatment for obesity

Or autism.

And samaritan's "classic" plan

Has a list of non-qualified

Items including "routine,

Maintenance, stabilized,

Preventive, and wellness care"

...that's everything from

Regular checkups to

Vaccinations.

And even for eligible expenses,

The most that can be

Shared for a given need is

$250,000.

Which explains their full name,

"Samaritan, not the good one,

Though... Just a random

Samaritan who might well leave

You to die in the middle of an

Abandoned road."

And we haven't even gotten to

One of the biggest excuses hcsms

Can use to deny coverage, and

That's morality.

Because that means you can be

Denied coverage for basically

Anything.

This is a program of the

Christian care ministry and

People who smoke or same-sex

Couples need not apply.

The program also won't pay for

Illnesses related to alcohol,

Abortion, or other

Lifestyle-related choices.

I need to know that I'm not

Gonna be paying for someone else

Who's decided to sit on the

Couch and eat bonbons all day.

Wow, that is harsh.

But that judgmental tone is very

Much in line with how these

Ministries operate.

Do people really deserve

Health care coverage if they

Eat junk food or don't exercise

Or are gay?

Just fix it!

Eat a carrot, go for a run,

Rub your penis or vag*na on

Somebody else's vag*na or penis,

Respectively.

It's really not difficult!

And this is a pattern across

Hcsms.

Liberty's materials say that

An applicant must comply with

A christian lifestyle.

And among the exclusions on

Samaritan's "classic" program,

You'll find that they might pay

For treatment for an std,

But not if it was contracted by

Sex outside of marriage, and

That the member has to explain

How the disease was contracted.

Presumably, the hotter the

Story, the more money you get

For ointments.

Vanilla missionary sh*t isn't

Going to get covered, bud.

You better have gotten gonorrhea

From an earlobe if you want

Samaritan's attention.

But sweeping moral judgment

Isn't the only leeway these

Organizations have.

Because they're voluntary

Associations, you have no

Guarantee that your bills

Will get paid.

Although, to hear a founder of

Liberty healthshare tell it,

You've really got nothing to

Worry about there.

Just listen to him reassure

People in a video on their

Website titled, "will my bills

Be paid?"

We've had a successful

History of sharing medical bills



Ever submitted.

So it doesn't depend upon

A written contract where we can

Sue each other if someone

Doesn't send their share amount.

It's really a contract written

On our hearts.

Oh, right, it's a

Contract written on your hearts.

Figuratively, of course.

Because literally, it's not a

Contract.

And as for his claim there that

Liberty successfully shared



Eligible need"... Given,

As we've discussed, they can

Deem any need ineligible for

Any reason, that phrase is

Essentially as meaningless as

Their cardiac non-contract.

And on top of all this, there's

The practical matter of how

Exactly you pay for your care

As a member.

The hcsm process typically is,

You're told to present yourself

As uninsured.

Then, when you get your bill,

The expectation is that you

Bargain down the cost of your

Care as much as you can,

Then pay the bill yourself,

Then submit your bills to

The ministry for reimbursement.

And if you've ever waited for

Your friends to venmo you after

Paying for dinner, you know that

The reimbursement process can go

Very wrong.

Participants in liberty...

You know, the one with the

"Heart contract"... Have found

Payments can be slow to

Nonexistent.

In the past three years,

Tiffany schultz with the

Wisconsin better business bureau

Says the bbb has taken more than



Healthshare, many with similar

Stories.

One claiming $90,000 in

Outstanding in medical bills

That were pre-approved.

Either the consumer is out

The money and hasn't been

Reimbursed, or they're ending up

Going to collections.

That's not great.

And while liberty claims that



Difficult year, and that they're

Proud of improvements they've

Made since then, it's worth

Noting that liberty's members

Still seem pretty active on

The better business bureau

Website, where they've logged





Especially when you consider

That cigna... A massive insurer

...has just half that amount,

While having 15 times

The members.

And imagine having more people

Complain about you than about

Cigna, a company whose logo is a

Cartoon man standing in a field

As his head explodes from

Dealing with their customer

Service.

And unfortunately, in most

States, a complaint to the

Better business bureau is

Basically all the recourse

You have.

And these ministries have worked

Very hard to keep accountability

At bay, successfully lobbying

For so-called "safe harbor laws"

In more than 30 states, ensuring

They can operate safely outside

Of insurance regulations.

And to see just how much you can

Get away with, it's worth

Looking at a company called

Aliera, which has been heavily

Involved with a number of

Health-sharing ministries over

The years... First, one called

Unity, then one called trinity,

Which now goes by sharity.

Although those names sound less

Like health care organizations

And more like characters in a

Religious-themed captain planet

Knockoff... When their powers

Combine, they get canceled after

Two episodes.

Aliera presents itself as merely

An administrator for hcsms,

But it's intricately connected

To the ones it works with, and

Very much by design.

Just six weeks after trinity was

Incorporated, it signed a deal

With aliera stipulating that

Aliera would have exclusive

Ownership rights to the

Membership roster, and was

The sole party developing and

Marketing the plans including

The hcsm component.

So aliera's relationship with

Trinity is basically this guy's

Relationship to his alien

Costume.

He can claim that he isn't

Technically the costume,

And that's true.

But the costume doesn't really

Do anything without him.

And customers in multiple states

Have claimed that aliera and its

Ministries have been ruthless

In denying coverage, wielding

"Morality clauses" hard.

When one member was att*cked and

Knocked unconscious outside a

Bar and taken to the hospital

With serious injuries, including

A skull fracture, cervical spine

Fracture, and intercranial

Bleeding, aliera denied her

Claims, stating her injuries

Were "self-inflicted," and

Citing their guidelines,

Including the line, "follow

Spiritual teachings on the use

Or abuse of alcohol" which is,

I'm pretty sure is the

Benevolent advice

Jesus would have given

Under the circumstances.

And incredibly, that's not even

The worst story of a rejected

Claim involving aliera.



Is healthy just four months

After brain surgery.

On september 11th, she was

Rushed from the local e.r. In

Greene county by ambulance to

Children's health care

Scottish rite, where doctors

Removed a softball-sized

Brain tumor.

It was just amazing,

The care.

But last week came the bill

From their health plan, aliera

Companies.

$325,624.

Aliera says children's is out

Of network and won't pay the

$325,000 Bill.

We had a life-threatening

Emergency.

They failed us and her.

Holy sh*t.

They were denied reimbursement

For a child who had

A softball-sized tumor removed

From her brain, which is,

Incidentally, exactly the kind

Of immoral behavior I'd expect

Sharing ministries to classify

As f*cking disqualifying.

Now, aliera claims that family's

Issues were ultimately resolved,

But only after that story

Was featured on the news.

And it shows just how little

Recourse you have, that if you

Don't have a child you can get

On tv to shame the company into

Action, you could be sh*t out of

Luck.

And look, traditional insurance

Companies also have their share

Of horror stories when it comes

To denial of coverage.

But there are important

Differences here... Not just in

The level of protection you have

When that happens, but in the

Degree of financial

Accountability.

Because while the aca requires

Actual health insurers to spend

No more than 20% of money on

Administrative costs, therefore

Leaving at least 80% for care,

There's no such requirement for

Hcsms.

And you can probably tell where

This is going.

Because investigations have

Found that out of every $100

A trinity member paid in

Premiums, only $16 went towards

Paying medical expenses,

With the rest being kicked up to

Aliera.

And paying out 16% of the money

You take in for coverage is

A lot different than paying out



Because 80% makes you think,

"Wait, why exactly do we have

Insurance companies?"

Whereas 16 makes you think,

"Is a crime happening to me

Right now, and if so, why does

Everyone seem okay with it?"

And when a local news reporter

Caught up with the head of

Aliera to ask her about its

Reluctance to pay out claims,

Her response was not

Particularly reassuring.

Do you have any apologies

To the members who believe their

Claims ought to be paid and

They're not paid?

Oh, my goodness.

We're not... We're not a health

...we're not a

Health care-sharing ministry,

Mr. Strickland.

We only administer on behalf

Of the... Of the ministries.

I can't help you any further.

I need to get out of town.

Okay, it's never a

Good sign when a ceo has to end

An interview like that.

"As I've said before, our

Company has never done anything

Illegal.

Now have you seen a man in

A blue fedora?

He's supposed to give me a new

Identity as I get pulled into

A helicopter that's already

Taking off.

Tell my daughter I loved her and

My husband I didn't!

I'm out!"

Now I should say, other sharing

Ministries have tried to

Distance themselves from aliera,

Claiming that, "this sort of

Deception is not part of

Legitimate, authentic health

Care sharing ministries."

And aliera is definitely bad.

But one thing insurance

Commissioners have repeatedly

Told us in researching this

Piece is how little transparency

There is into how these

Ministries operate, and just how

Wary they think people should be

Of all of them.

And look, broadly, we have to

Do more in this country to

Reduce the cost of health care

...personally, I'd argue

Switching to a single-payer

System would remove a lot of

These problems instantly,

But that clearly isn't happening

Anytime soon.

So in the meantime, I do get

The appeal of lower-cost

Health insurance.

The problem is, this isn't that.

It's not insurance at all.

And states need, at the very

Least, to pass laws to make sure

People know what they're getting

Into with hcsms, and to force

Them to allocate funds properly.

The problem is, some are going

In the opposite direction.

Take florida.

In 2018, after intense lobbying,

It loosened its restrictions on

Hcsms even further, going from

Requiring participants be

"Members of the same religion,"

To merely requiring they

"Share a common set of ethical

Or religious beliefs."

And that could be basically

Anything.

At this point, the bar to entry

Is so low, just about anyone can

Become an hcsm.

And the reason I know that is,

This anyone did.

You may remember, back in 2015,

We founded a church, our lady

Of perpetual exemption, to

Demonstrate that tax exemptions

For churches enabled some of

Them to do terrible things.

Well, just three months ago,

We officially founded a spinoff

Church called "our lady of

Perpetual health."

And we founded it... Where else?

...but florida.

I'm happy to tell you, that

Church now has its own health

Care sharing ministry,

"Johnnycare."

And the whole thing was scarily

Easy to do.

So, without further ado,

Please join me, my most blessed

Congregants, at church.

And you know, I couldn't run

An organization as important

As this ministry all by myself.

So please welcome, live from

Johnnycare headquarters in sunny

Florida, the felicity huffman to

My william h. Macy, my dear wife

And business partner, wanda jo.

Praise be to you, my wanda.

Praise be to you, my john,

And praise be to the blessed

State where minimally

Regulated insurance knockoffs go

To be born.

And retired people go to die.

Amen to that.

I have heard the word of the

Lord, my john.

And what did it say,

My wanda?

It said thou must free itself

From the overreaching grasp of

Government health care.

Stick it to them!

Stick it to them!

Now wanda, we are running the

Ministry as a church even though

In florida, we actually don't

Have to be.

Amen, praise florida.

But we do need to

Fill the requirement that our

Ministry provide for the

Financial or medical needs of

Participants from contributions

From other participants.

The good news is, we have done

That through our special

Johnnycare first aid kit

Containing not one, not two, but

Three band-aids.

It screams the cheapest option

That we could find.

And you know what, my wanda?

What, my john?

It was.

Why three band-aids?

We know that, alas, sometimes,

Accidents happen.

But if they happen more than

Three times, it just stops being

Our problem.

And let me be clear,

When you sign up for membership,

You are not paying for your own

First aid kit.

You are paying for someone

Else's, and they are paying for

Yours.

And that gives you freedom

From insurance!

And us freedom from

Responsibility.

And beyond that, it's

A very simple system.

If you need medical care, you go

To the doctor, you receive it,

You request a bill, and then you

Pay that bill on your own.

Leave us out of it.

Oh, yeah, because if

You submit that bill to us, we

Are going to reject it.

Vernon his lips to god's

Bigger lips in the sky!

Testify!

Either because you engage in

This and of beyond the bonds of

Matrimony...

You whoring.

Or you spent the day

Sitting on the couch eating

Bonbons ]] or mastubated ever.

No contracts ever,

Except for the ones that are in

Our hearts.

Now you can become a member of

Our johnnycare ministry for just

$1.99, and we are limiting

Membership to 5,000 of you in

Florida, not because we have to,

But because that is the number

Of first aid kit that we bought.

So go to freedom from

Health care.org and see if you

Qualify to send us money and get

Almost nothing in return.

Is close to nothing as we

Could get away with.

And to be clear, we

Should not be able to get with

Any of this!

Thank you to wanda jo, who, if

History is any indication, will

Disappear for three years and

Ultimately re-answer in a

Canadian mohegan sun answering

To deb.

I love you so much, my wanda.

I love you so much, my john.

Visit

Freedomfromhealthcare.org to

Learn how you can stick it to

Them!

Stick it to them!

That is our show,

Thank you so much for watching,

Good night!

Bye-bye, my wanda.

Bye-bye, my john!

Stick it to them!

Praise band-aids!

Praise band-aids!

Band-aids be upon us