[♪ musical swirl ♪]
- Once upon a time,
there was a park called
Legend Quest where
children could go to sing
and dance and be heroes.
The creator ruled the
park many years
with his two granddaughters.
But when he d*ed,
he left the park to the eldest
and the youngest rebelled.
She became evil, living
deep in the park,
making mischief for
all who enter.
And so, as you finish
your new part-time
Legend Quest employee
orientation,
enjoy the park,
but beware the insane
witch within
[trumpets sounding]
- What?
[upbeat music]
- Ooh, this is the kind
of place where you meet
your dream girl.
Sweet, soft skin, weighs a
hundred pounds.
So I'm the little one.
- Her skin weighs 100 pounds?
- Everybody. They want us
to do all their videos.
- No way!
- We got the job.
We just have to work here
one day to prove
that we are immersive,
fantasy theme park material.
- What? Singing,
dancing with magic?
This is my greatest dream.
Even more than curing my aorta.
- What's wrong with your aorta?
- Imagine a pipe, but broken.
- I don't know everyone.
Have you seen these contracts?
[medieval music playing]
They're kind of abusive.
[men yelling over each other]
They're kind of
- Don't do this to us,
Zona, we're this close.
We just need a little
bit more money
to get a sofa boom box.
- For what?
- Sofa boom box. Don't
act confused.
It's very straightforward.
- Yeah. He needs the sofa.
I need the boom box.
- Sofa boom box.
[upbeat music]
- Sofa boom box, sofa boom box.
It's a sofa in a boom box
Sofa boom box
- Is no one else worried?
- Relax, Zona baby.
This plan is foolproof,
though, full disclosure,
I also said that about Iraq.
- Welcome travelers!
- My lady, for sooth
pray the end
Wherefore?
- Ew.
- I am Lady Violet, the
mistress of this park.
Today, you join Legend Quest.
Now, follow me if you're
brave of heart.
- Oh, my aorta's tingling.
- Now here we follow a code.
Always smile, never
break character
and burst into song
every five minutes.
- And if we don't sing?
- You will be fired.
- Understood.
- Great. So what's the job?
- We don't call
anything a job here.
We call them quests.
It could be forging steel,
juggling fire
or treating severe burns.
- Yes. I have a question
about your worker protection.
- Zona. Don't embarrass us.
- This is role play.
Stop being yourself.
My lady, we will take
your hardest quest.
- I see.
In the heart of the park
lives my sister.
She
She thinks she's a witch.
- Awesome.
- I believe her.
- She's stolen something.
A silver locket.
I've tried to reclaim
it many times
and if you find it,
you'll be the heroes
of this park.
- Okay.
- Just sign these waivers.
- No, no, no. Come on.
These contracts break
like 50 laws.
- There are 50 laws?
- Oh, Zona.
You crazy little goat girl.
You know about laws, but
you could learn something
about a thing called adventure.
[upbeat music plays]
- Can't we have laws
and adventure?
- Adventure means
always being brave
being smart.
And you never
report workplace
injuries
and you always trust your heart.
- Hold up.
- Adventure means
nowadays a woman
can go far
and she doesn't need a man
to save her and
She doesn't need HR. What?
- Oh, are you not a feminist?
- Zona?
You'll
see
no more safety rules
bringing you down.
No more sadness or minimum
wage or frowns.
And we obey every
medieval
law.
Now you try.
- Adventure
means
- She's singing!
- Anything is legal
if you believe
- Just always try
to touch the sky
and turn a blind eye
to child labor.
- Adventure
means
- We don't need a union
to chase our dreams.
- And we don't need
health insurance.
Cause now, I now the
words will be
my heart medicine.
- And if adventure means
your
loyalty
for your
poor,
dearest
friends.
- Zona.
- Zona. Come on Zona.
- That's our girl.
- Good. Now go
be brave.
There's a locket to save.
They're not cold nor wet,
nor
gruesome
dead.
Our plan will surely fail
if she lures you off the trail,
so this is your task.
You're starting
your legend
West.
Oooohhh
- Ow! Oh, I broke my leg!
- Oh, Zona, are you OK?
- No!
- You tripped on this tiny,
tiny stick.
- Oh, praise be! .
It's a first aid kit.
- Wait, Ryan.
It's a trap from the witch.
[All] The plan will fail
if she lures us
off the trail.
- Are you serious?
- Sorry, Zona.
We can't blow this quest
or we'll lose the contract.
- What if finishing the
quest helps Zona's leg?
- Ah, that's logical.
- I once cured my
grandma's lupus
by questing to the pharmacy
to get lupus medication.
- Yes. The quest will heal her.
Let's go.
- No, you can't leave me!
Don't you dare.
No!
You will rue the day!
[Zona screaming]
[soft music playing]
Take care of yourself, Zona.
I'm gonna get a sofa boom box.
- Zona
- Ahhh! Oh!
- Who are you?
- I'm the evil witch who
reeks havoc on this park.
- That's very direct
- Zona. I'm here
because you have
all the makings of an
excellent witch.
- Hey!
- Oh. In a good way.
Deep insecurity.
A long memory for
personal slides.
No love for children.
- I like some children.
I'm the student body
president of Fairview High.
- That's really weird.
So I'm here with a pitch.
Help me defend my locket
by ruining the lives of
your four friends.
- Uh, no.
- Fine. Suit yourself.
Just know that this will
show up in your grade.
- Gr grade?
My, my grade?
- Oh yes.
Everyone who comes to
Legend Quest gets a grade.
Don't worry, you're at a "C"
average.
- A "C"! I'm not a drug dealer!
- Yes. You'd rationalize doing
anything to get a good grade.
Wouldn't you?
- No.
- Math:
calculate where your
team is now.
- How could this be wrong
if it is also math?
- English, give me an
essay on their weaknesses.
- Wow. What a harmless
literary analysis.
- History. Look at the
best kinds of t*rture.
This is fine cause I
convinced myself.
you won't try this.
- Shop class.
Build me those
instruments of t*rture.
- I still feel fine
because confirmation bias.
- Your tenacity
and zero dignity
have
earned yourself an
"A"
minus.
- If I give you an "A",
my hold on you will fray.
Before I close that door,
I ask one thing
more.
You would go to Hades.
If it got you gradies.
So this is your test.
You must ruin the
Legend
Quest.
[upbeat music playing]
[Zona's leg cracks]
[Zona screams in pain]
We'll just, we'll go.
[Zona continues
screaming in pain]
Yeah. That's not that bad.
- I wonder if we'll
meet a princess.
- Stop! In the name of
the princess.
- I wonder if we'll meet
Phineas and Ferb?
- If you seek to ambush her,
be warned.
There's a troll guarding her.
- Okay, Devon. Think.
Deescalate.
I'll slap his troll blood!
Clawless!
- These are still actors, right?
- I don't even know anymore.
- Wait!
[upbeat romance music]
- What is this?
Why does my hand want to
hold your hand?
- Maybe so that our
fingers can spoon
- Ryan, stop! No.
What are you doing?
You don't even know this. Ohhh
[heavy metal romance music]
- No. Don't fall in love.
- Don't do it.
[upbeat music begins]
- Listen. My father is
very strict with suitors.
What can you offer me?
Dainty skin.
Bones of glass.
I have negative
muscle mass.
I sleep on Batman sheets.
So I don't
dream of bad guys.
- Sexy troll.
Please be mine.
I'll show you a good,
troll time.
I'm feeling things.
I only feel
when I
eat French fries.
- Love, I can't let you go.
- Imagine our
children.
- I know someday you'll be
a good
grandma.
- Look,
I'm 1/16 troll.
Oh, I hope we're not
cousins.
- While we're at it,
Meet my grandma.
- I thought love was fictional,
quaint and
unoriginal,
but then I saw your
troll butt and I was
like, I get it. Mm hmm.
- You're petite;
same as me.
You make my heart b*at normally.
I'll buy you nice things
with my allowance.
Don't sweat it.
- Look,
you're all
that I need.
- The first girl I can
show my legos
- Look,
so now we're agreed
- Can you wait until the
end of the song?
Starting now, where you go,
I go.
- Come with me.
Ask for my father's blessing.
- Yes
- Lo, lo, lo,
lo, lo, lo
- Vlarg says that you can
ask the parental fungus
from which he's spawned.
- Oh, I would be honored.
Oh!
- Yo! What about the locket?
- You guys are just jealous!
- Does this happen a lot?
- It worked Zona.
Well done.
Two remain.
You've almost got your "A".
- Oh! Um, you don't have
any painkillers
by any chance, do you?
My leg's just aching
really badly.
Honestly, even just a chair to
sit on would be really great.
- I don't know if you were
talking, but I need to go.
- Oh!!
[Zona screams in pain]
[upbeat music playing]
- Micah,
I can't do this.
We've been walking
for 20 minutes
and I forgot my snacks.
- Oh, it'll be worth it.
Just hang in there.
- Travelers.
- Back, witch!
- I know how to use this.
I do not.
- Why seek you to steal
my silver locket?
- My lady, we assure you;
'tis only for personal gain.
- We seek the only good
thing left in this world.
Sofa boom box.
- You only think you want
a sofa boom box.
I've come to bribe you
with what you truly want.
For Micah, an endless party.
For Owen, endless rest.
- Oh, my bribe sounds
more ominous.
- You wish to party.
You wish to rest.
You can party with the folk of
Legend Quest.
Get along with every
creature imaginable
and take a bite of this
normal apple.
- Get that outta here!
This is a party
to entrance and believe.
Boogie down with a dragon
and ride with the
skinks and you can
rest in theses wooden stocks
and you can come get
crunk with the Fox.
Just let the music make you
truly feel
and let me prick you
with the spinning wheel.
- Micah, help me!
And this deep,
you'll come right back from
deep in the ground.
You never have to wake up again.
- Haha! Wait! Owen!
I can't stop dancing.
It's too enjoyable.
I'm trapped!
- Me too, but more
understandably.
- Tickle him.
- Don't do it. Don't do it.
- I'm trapped!
- So be it.
I'll do it myself
right after I shred
these OSHA reports.
- Zona.
Great plan.
I'm going to say something
and you should know
I don't say this lightly.
You are an amazing traitor.
I can't believe I helped you
for an "A"!
- Actually you're at an "A"
minus plus.
- Forget this. I am
going to save my friends
- Learning,
the heart of fairy tales.
You learn to value
people over things.
I was once like you, without the
skin thing.
When my grandfather immigrated
from Germany in 1946 in a hurry,
he had only a dream
and a love of fairy tales.
- In what year?
- But when he d*ed,
my sister
and I fought over
his locket
and lost the magic.
- It's not too late.
Don't you wanna make things
right with your sister?
- I do.
- Okay. I'm liking the words,
not loving the delivery.
- No, Zona, I'm learning.
Come. We'll help your friends
and give my sister
what she needs.
- I'm sure that's fine.
[upbeat music]
- Whoot!
- Rawr rat!
[both speaking foreign language]
- What beautiful language.
- I can just picture our
life together.
- Yes. Every weekend
watching Saturday morning,
puppet shows.
- Eating hot sugar loops;
a delicacy in my country.
- Oh, giving each other haircuts
- Taking out a mortgage.
- Almost getting a divorce,
but working it out.
- Uh huh
And children, I want 6.
best friends.
Then a boy cause variety's
the spice of life.
Then two girls for
their sweet disposition.
Then another boy to be
mommy's little soldier.
- Yes. Birds chirping
in the window.
- I don't really like birds.
- She doesn't like birds!
- I know.
And Vlarg wants us to live
with his parental fungus
and she is a shrew!
- I think we just got
caught up in the music.
I don't even know this woman.
Now I have to break up with her
but she's going to be crushed.
- Right? If you love her,
you will just tell her.
- But I don't love her.
- Great. Then we can go
so that's easier for us.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Isn't that wrong?
- Vlarg, look.
- Whoa. Oh
- Oh, sweet Ryan.
I learned from the crusades.
Nothing is wrong
if it's for a quest.
- Oh good.
- Live it up.
Stop talking about
sofa boom box.
- If you get two
friends to buy a sofa
boom box, we get our own
sofa boom box.
- No! I will not be investing in
sofa boom box.
- What are you doing?
- I thought this might
lure you here
like a moth to a flame,
for which
the moth employer is not liable.
- Violet, no!!
- I thought you were
the good sister.
- This is all permitted by
your contracts.
- What?
- Zona? Why don't you warn us in
a more likable way?
- It's on you.
- Sister, give me one
good reason to not
stabby Mcstab s*ab.
- We've got a list of reasons.
We made a list of reasons.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Violet. Don't do this.
Let's go back to the
way things were.
- How?
- With
love.
I love
power over you.
Surrender!
- Ah, our cowardice has
brought us to greater danger.
- Nay, but give me back
my silver locket!
- That's rich coming from you.
- Oh, oh, I'm so fancy.
I wear black eyeliner.
I'm so emo.
No one's buying it!
- I wish Grandpa would
take you with him!
- Sisters!
- Zona! My locket!
- This is what you've
been fighting
over, yes?
- Yes. Well done, Zona.
[happy music plays]
You've completed
your quest...
Merciful!
- What have you done?
- As someone once said,
you must value people over
things. A lesson
- Bitcoin.
Millions of dollars
in Bitcoin were on
that flash drive.
- What, now?
- Our family fortune!
This park in so much debt!
- You!
You've ruined us!
- Wow!
[sisters screaming in agony]
- Let's just go. Pick me up!
Pick me up! Pick me up!
- Millions! We're desolate!
- Adventure means
now a family ticket
is half price.
- And we haven't cleared...
- Kinda crazy we still got
the video deal.
- They said we're the only ones
they can afford now.
- It warms my heart.
When people are
forced to hire us.
- Who's that guy?
- After Legend Quest
- Experience the part after
- How could we not notice him?
- When I'm sure it's dark,
but before it's repossessed.
[doorbell chimes]
- It's here.
Ooh wee,
luxury.
- I can't believe this only cost
a thousand dollars.
[techno music playing]
- Sofa
boom
box
- Do you ever sit
on your sofa
and wish you were more
like a boom box?
Or do you listen to a
boom box and
wish you had
sofa qualities?
Oh, why can't furniture
be more like a boom box
and why can't
appliances
be soft?
Get your sofa boom box today
for only $999.
All payments are final.
Please, this was my dream,
but I thought the
market was bigger.
Sofa
boom
box
[upbeat techno music playing]
02x07 - Legend Quest
Watch/Buy Angel Studios
Five broke millennials struggle to build their video production company despite their limited resources, lack of experience, and living in a small, quirky town.
Five broke millennials struggle to build their video production company despite their limited resources, lack of experience, and living in a small, quirky town.