02x05 - Krampapalooza

[bunniefuu]

- I've got you now, Captain Man.

- Let me go, Dr. Minyak. Volt, Help me.

- You've got it, Captain Man.

- What's wrong?

- I'm so tired and unrefreshed.

- Then you should power up... with Power Milk.

- Is that the delicious new beverage from Bro Co?

- It sure is, the same bros who make Flamin' Hot Beefos.

Now, hurry, power up with Power Milk.

- [gagging]

- Cut. - Ugh, come on.

- What happened? We were makin' magic.

The camera was lovin' you, baby.

- That stuff is disgusting.

I can't make a commercial for it.

- We have to make one. They already paid us to do it.

- Let's just give the Bro Co money back.

- We can't. Someone bet all the money

we made from our Bro Co endorsement on the wrong guy

at the Quint Cities Celebrity Boxing Match.

- We bet on you.

- Because you told us to.

- And then you lost. - I didn't lose.

I was disqualified.

- For hitting Archduke Fernando below the belt.

- Repeatedly.

- He had his shorts pulled up to his armpits.

Everything was below the belt.

Well, until we make that money back,

I'm afraid we're just going to have to keep making

commercials for Power Milk.

- No, we won't. - Whoa.

How did you guys know what we were talking about?

- I didn't. - I was just saying

before we teleported that we're going to have

to keep doing commercials for that nasty milk.

- And I was saying that because we found this

soiled mattress, no, we won't. - Did you guys think of a way

to get us out of our Bro Co contract?

'Cause I'd really love to start letting my hair grow out again.

- Wait, is that a bald cap? - A bald cap? Is that a thing?

Did I shave my head for nothing?

- I think you look good this way.

- Well...

- Just circling back around, how is this smelling mattress

gonna get us out of our Bro Co contract?

- Okay, so I had this great idea--

- It was my idea, but you know

how that big music festival is coming up?

- Yeah. - Swellchella?

- The Olympics?

- And you know how millions of people

are comin' from all over the world,

and they're gonna need a place to stay?

- Yeah. - For the Olympics, yes.

- Well, we're gonna turn the Man's Nest into a hotel.

- Yes.

And we can jack up the prices and make so much money

we can get out of this horrible contract you guys got us into.

- You got us into it, but yes.

- And we can get rid of these Bro Co tattoos.

all: What?

- Baby boy, we were only supposed to get

temporary tattoos.

- Guys, I'm havin' a real bad day.

- We just need to get the word out about the Man's Nest

being the coolest place to stay during the festival.

- Schwoz, you wanna go on the news and hype it up?

- Nobody's gonna listen to Schwoz.

- As well they shouldn't.

But I think I know someone they might listen to.

- With us now to talk about the hottest place

to crash during Swellchella

is a popular music festival influencer.

- Please welcome Calvin Skateboard.

- Hello besties. Bestie. Bestie.

Hey, guys.

Tell me you've got the bussin-est place

to stay during Swellchella without telling me.

I'll go first by telling you.

It's the Man's Nest.

The Man's Nest has rooms,

and they offer plenty of upgrades

that are guaranteed to light up your grams, fams.

- Well, then I am definitely

going to be staying at the Man's Nest.

Is what I would be saying if I wasn't getting word right

now that Hurricane Karen has taken a hard right

and is now headed straight for Swellview.

- And the tiny man inside my ear

is saying Swellchella organizers

are considering canceling the festival.

- No. We can't let them cancel Swellchella.

We gotta go to KLVY and fix this.

- What are we gonna say?

- We'll figure it out when we get there.

Now teleport us to KLVY.

- AWOL and Shoutout, what are you doing here?

- We heard that Swellchella might get canceled

because of a little natural disaster.

- So we just... - What?

- You just what?

- You didn't come on the news with nothing to say, did you?

- Who does that? - Not us.

- Nope.

- Because we have something to say.

- Say. - And it is this.

- This. - We...

- We... - Wanted to offer...

- Offer...

- To host the entire festival...

- The entire festival...

- In the Man's Nest. - The Man's Nest.

What? - We do?

I mean, you do?

- We sure do.

- I guess we do.

- Oh, I did not approve this.

- No, no. Think about it, big poppa.

If we host the music festival,

we'll be more than just a hotel.

- We'll be a zoo. - No, no.

If the hotel and the festival are the same place,

we can make way more money

and get out of our Power Milk contract even faster.

- We could overcharge them for everything they do

from the second they get here to the day they die.

both: Uh...

- Did you mean to say "leave"?

- Yes.

[dramatic music]

- Welcome to the Best Nestern Inn.

Really comin' down out there, huh?

- Oh, my God, this rain is the worst.

- I'd be happy to dry you off.

Ahh!

- Augh!

Thank you. - Of course.

I'll just add that to your room bill.

Yeah.

I've got you in room --.

It overlooks our used trash rockets.

- Mm. - Ohh...

trash rockets are the worst.

- I could upgrade you to room --.

It overlooks Mount Swellview.

- Ohh.

- That sounds great.

- Yeah, I'll just add that to your room bill as well.

Enjoy your stay.

AWOL will teleport you and your bags to your room.

[bell dings]

- Ahh!

- Bam.

- Pretty good, huh? I upcharged her for the room

and for the blow out.

- Yes, but you didn't charge her

for the teleportation fee, the toilet fee, or the key fee.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm just not a natural at gouging people.

- Hey, you'll get there.

- I've got Mr. Krampus here. He needs to be checked in.

- Oh, yes, Mr. Krampus. How could I forget?

Chugged energy drinks, tried to terminate your brother,

Santa Claus, nearly ruined Christmas.

Welcome. I'm gonna need your credit card.

- I am deeply sorry about that Christmas incident.

I was in a bad place at the time,

but things are much better now.

- Oh, things certainly are much better now,

especially since you have a black card

with no spending limit.

Oh, Brainstorm?

- Please levitate Mr. Krampus' bags to room .

- Right this way, sir.

- You didn't upcharge him for anything.

- Oh, didn't I?

Room fee. Toilet fee. Shower fee.

Key fee. Fee fee. Fee fee fee.

- Uh, is anyone else a little concerned we just let

a super-powered hyper-demon into the Man's Nest?

- [scoffs] You zoomers and your fears.

Krampus is a chill dude now. Trust me.

As long as he doesn't drink any energy drinks,

we got nothing to worry about.

- Okay, I put all your khakis away.

- Wait, what's that?

- Oh, that's a tiny man.

- What's up, my guy?

- No, that. - Oh, that's a Chest Monster.

- What's up, bro? - No. That.

- Oh, that's a giant stack

of this horrible-tasting drink called Power Milk.

- Can I have some? - It depends.

Are you lactose-intolerant?

- Yeah. - Then you're good.

There's no actual milk in that stuff.

- Yeah, pound it.

- I may be a simple chest monster,

but I don't really think he should be drinking that stuff.

- Mind your business.

Get some, man.

- [belches]

Ohhh.

Whoo!

- It all just kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

- Stop talking!

- ♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪

[doorbell rings]

all: Emergency!

- That's just the doorbell.

- I know.

- You know, if you make a wish

and throw some money in there, it'll come true.

- Really?

I wish Court and Courtney would sing "Almond Milk."

- Well, enjoy the festival.

- You can't steal that kid's wish.

- Oh, would you rather go back

to making commercials for Power Milk instead?

- No. Please, don't.

- There's more wishes where that came from, Billy Ray.

Go fish.

- Ladies and gentlemen of the Man's Nest,

coming into the lobby

is the Ring King from Rivalton,

Celebrity Boxing Champion Archduke Fernando.

[horn fanfare]

- Hello, Captain Man.

- Archduke Fernando, what do you want?

- I require a room

sizeable enough for me, Gideon, and my belt.

- Fine. But I'm gonna have to charge you

a ponytail fee and a belt fee.

- It shan't be an issue.

I demand nothing but the best for Gideon.

- AWOL, please teleport his Dukieness to room --.

- Cool belt, man. I'll take you to your room.

You might need this barf bag.

- Shoutout, can I ask you a question real quick?

Why are you hyping my sworn enemy?

- Before I answer that question,

would you like to know how much I charged him for the hype fee

or the music fee and the smokey entrance fee?

- The student has become the teacher.

- [belches] - Hey.

- 'Sup, dummies?

- Mr. Krampus. How are you enjoying your stay?

- Well, my room's a turd.

- Sweet Krampus relief.

- Also, I'm outta Power Milk, Chest Monster smells,

and Tiny Ray won't stop singing some song about almond milk.

both: ♪ Almond milk ♪

♪ There's never been a finer kind of milk ♪

- ♪ Almond milk ♪

- For a very steep fee I can upgrade you to the Man Suite.

- Any tiny dudes or chest monsters in there?

- None. - Oh, I'll take it.

- Okay. He's definitely

a lot more Krampy than when he first got here.

- Yeah, but we're definitely

more rich than when he got here.

- Yeah, but if that dude starts

Kramping the guests, this whole thing can come to an end.

- Oh, and then we won't have enough money

to save the rec center.

- No, boo, we're trying to get out of the Bro Co contract.

- Eh, Volt's right, Krampus could really mess this up.

Brainstorm, I need you and Volt to follow him

and make sure he doesn't Kramp anybody.

- On him like a thumb ring.

Where are you going?

- We're good, right?

- We're great. Here.

Hold this money bag open for me, will ya?

- Did you show Arch-puke Fernando to his room?

- And then he showed me to his wallet.

- He tipped you all that just for showing him to his room?

- Yup. - Yoink.

- Oh, my college fund.

- Is he still in his room?

- Nah. He said he was gonna put his belt down for a nap

and then he and Gideon were gonna hit the casino.

- We have a casino? - Yeah.

Shout-out to whoever thought of that.

- You are dangerous. AWOL, I need you to teleport me

to the Archduke's room real quick.

- Oh, you're not gonna take his belt, are you?

- It's my belt. He used his shorts to cheat me.

- No. No, no, no.

I will not teleport you into a guest's room

without the express written consent of--

- Yeah, yeah. Let's go. - No. Ahh!

I can't believe you did that.

- I can't believe that worked.

[scoffs] Look at this loser.

Puts a belt down for a nap like it's a baby.

You're safe and sound back in Daddy's arms.

- You have fun with that belt.

I'm gonna go watch Court and Courtney perform. Bye.

- Wait.

♪ ♪

[chatter]

What'd I miss?

- Nothing. They're still warming up.

- We're gonna open up with a banger.

both: ♪ Almond milk ♪

- Yes, I'm gonna get my wish.

- Boo!

- Here we go.

- Is there a problem?

- Uh, yeah. This music's a snooze fest.

- Thank you.

Swellview.com voted us the number one band to nap to.

- Play Santeria.

- We don't know that song.

- Now you do.

- Awww!

- Oh, yeah. - That's more like it.

- Did he just Kramp Court and Courtney?

- Yeah. And now he's Kramping more people.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

- Don't worry. I got this.

- All right!

- Hey, Krampus.

- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

- Get ready to ride the lightning.

- Ooooooh, Krampy likey. Hit me again.

- Ewww!

He liked it.

- Let's go find Captain Man.

- No. Don't teleport without my permission.

♪ ♪

- Okay, now let's do a silly one.

- Ahh!

- Okay, I did not consent to that teleport.

- What's going on? - Krampus.

He just went off at the Court and Courtney concert

and started Kramping people.

- We think some idiot must've given him energy drinks.

- I don't know how he could've been thirsty for it.

He drank all fourteen cases of Power Milk that I gave him.

- Oh... - My...

- God.

- Hey. You don't think there's energy

drink stuff in Power Milk, do you?

- "Energy drink." - "Energy drink extract."

- "Concentrated energy drink."

- "Sweetened condensed energy drink."

- "Genetically modified energy drink."

- "Red Energy drink number five."

- There isn't anything in this energy drink

that isn't energy drink.

Except for riboflavin, whatever that is.

- It's a water-soluble vitamin. B actually.

What? Ribo's just my favorite flavin.

- You guys, we have to do something or else this place

is about to be a full-on rap-rock party time.

[all gasp]

- Somebody say "party time"?

- Yeah, Shoutout did.

- Glad you're here, Krampus.

Look, you can't just go around Kramping people.

At least not without paying a fee.

- No. He can't Kramp people at all.

- Well, Swellchella smelled like old people and sadness.

I had to pump this place up, and sweet Buckcherry pie

look at that belt.

It's so buckle-y.

It's like my buckle smells like old people now.

- Yeah, well, I'm sorry, but this belt is mine.

I won it fair and square.

- Nah. - Not really fair.

- Or square. - Hey, shut up.

- All right, then I'll wrassle you for it.

- Oooh, wrassle him, Krampadeus.

- If I win, I get that awesome belt

plus all the money you dorks have made

by upcharging these juice boxes.

- But if we win, you have to un-Kramp these juice boxes

and leave the Man's Nest forever.

- You're on. - No, you're on.

- Yay. We're all on.

If you could just excuse us for one second.

Are you guys crazy?

If we lose that money, we'll be working for Bro Co forever.

- Only if you lose the match.

We're betting on you, big poppa.

That's never led us wrong.

- It's literally how we got here.

- And if you wrassle Krampus,

we can charge people a wrasslin' ticket fee.

We can charge people a wrasslin' cheering fee.

And when it's all over, we can charge people

a wrasslin' leaving fee, plus a big, ol' wrasslin' tax.

- Let's get ready to wrassle!

[dramatic musical sting]

[rock music]

- In this corner,

he's a hyper-demon who keeps 'em screamin',

our nemesis from the nine-oh-nine.

Krampus.

[cheers and applause]

[jeering]

And in the other corner, the Sultan of Swellview,

the Legend of Leg Day, the Hero Who's Handsome,

Captain Man.

[cheers and applause]

[jeering]

[cheers and jeers]

Okay. I want a nice dirty fight.

The only rule is, there are no rules.

- Yeah, yeah. We get it. Let's just get to the fight--

- Oh, what was that?

- Come on.

- Whoa, we didn't get started yet.

- No rules, bro.

- Okay.

- Ugh!

[all shouting]

- Yeah! - One. Two.

- Ugh!

- What is this?

Out of nowhere, it's the Archduke Fernando.

- That belt belongs to me.

And to me it shall return.

- Hey, thanks for the save, brobro.

If you wanna share that belt, we can go splitsy

on a double-bacon beatdown.

- I am a vegetarian, good sir, but I accept your offer.

Let us commence with fisticuffs.

- Welcome to the party, pal.

[clangs]

Ohh!

- I've taken certain precautions this time.

- What's he gonna do?

He can't hit him below the belt.

- He's got other moves.

- You guys gotta help me. I'm all outta moves.

[all shouting]

both: Ugh!

Oof!

- Sorry.

- I don't think you're "sorry" at all.

- Hey, man, you cool if I pick you up

and swing you around by that ponytail?

- His name is Gideon. And I consent to no such move.

- Thanks, bro. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Whoa!

- Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!

- Is he gonna swing that dude at us?

- Hold fast, Gideon.

both: Ugh!

Ohhh.

Ugh.

- One Mississippies.

One and a half Mississippies.

- Ahhh! Ahh!

An unseen force is acting upon my royal body.

- Quit helping, Brainfart.

- That's not my name at all.

- My royal bones.

- Let's end this before any of

these little boys hurt themselves for real.

- That's the whole reason I'm watching.

- I know.

Bright side, the Windy Sizzler definitely hurts.

- Can we? - Be ready.

- Ahh!

- We're not lookin' too good.

- I'm not feeling too good.

- Oh, I think you guys are doing just fine.

- One, two, three, donesies.

[cheers and applause]

The winner and still champion...

- No! - Captain Man.

[cheers and applause]

- I did it.

All by myself.

- I'm pretty sure Volt and Shoutout helped out

a little-- - All by myself.

- I protest in the strongest possible terms.

- Yeah. She's not allowed to help.

- Uh, no rules means no rules.

- Fine. You trash rockets may have won the belt.

But I'm taking all the Power Milk with me.

- Oh, no, please don't.

- It is our favorite.

- Then I also shall take your milk of power.

- Okay, everybody,

Swellchella is officially back on.

[cheers and applause]

- Just FYI, we've made plenty of money already,

about ten times more than

we need to buy ourselves out of that contract.

- Okay. Swellchella is officially over.

Everybody out.

- Hey, stupid. - What?

- You need to change Court and Courtney back right now?

- Why?

both: ♪ Almond milk ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Cheers to that.

- Clink. - Clink it up.

- I finally got my wish. Yes.

all: Yeah.

- Whose kid is that?

- I don't know.

- I just wish my hair would grow back.

both: ♪ Almond milk grows ♪

♪ Your hair back ♪

- It does?

both: ♪ Yes it does ♪

- ♪ Yes it does ♪

- ♪ It did for us ♪

- ♪ Yes it did ♪

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'm okay ♪

♪ I'm okay! ♪

♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪