02x18 - Minyak att*ck

[bunniefuu]

[clacking]

[all laughing in slow motion]

- [shouting in slow motion]

[laughs]

- Cease fire! Cease fire! Cease fire!

- Cease fire.

- What are we doing? - Yeah,

I don't know why we're doing this, either.

- Really? - No.

- We walked in, saw y'all going to town on this painting.

- And decided to join in without asking questions.

Remember?

[harp music]

[clacking]

[laughter]

Should we ask questions? - Nope.

- Okay, so you know how my mom collects art?

- I do not. - Well, my mom collects art.

And she bought this really expensive piece

that's just a bunch of paint

splattered all over the canvas.

- Oh, my God, did your mom buy a Jackson Pollock?

- Yep.

- An original Jackson Pollock

painted by actual world-famous artist Jackson Pollock?

- Oh, bro, those are, like, a million dollars.

- I spilled ketchup on it.

- Aw! - No!

- And while I was cleaning it up, I spilled mustard on it.

both: Ohh!

- Then I spilled jelly on it.

both: Ohh!

- At that point, I realized it was mostly food,

so, of course, I ate it to hide the evidence.

Oof.

- That's why we're making this replacement

to swap in before Bose's mom comes back from Mom Con.

- Ehh, okay.

- Uh, is that the annual Swellview convention

for people named Tom?

- Mm, you're thinking of Tom Con.

- Hmm. - Mom Con is the annual

Swellview convention for moms.

- Okay. I thought we agreed we weren't

gonna mention Mom Con?

- Oh, is that because you're permanently

banned from Mom Con for gross impersonation of a mom?

- See, right there, you just said it again.

- Mom Con? - Stop it.

- Hey, stop saying Mom Con. - I'm so sorry.

- A genius approaches!

Someone write this down.

- Hello. - This really all must go.

- Whoa! - I'm thinking subway tile

with a backsplash over here. [crosstalk]

Exposed brick back there.

- You have such a good eye for this.

According to the listing, this place has over rooms.

- Uh, excuse me?

We're arting here.

Why don't you take your little bad guy routine

somewhere else, Minyak?

- Oh, this really has to go. - Hey, what the--

- [gasps] - But the Jackson Pollock

may stay.

[snaps]

- What?

What? I can't believe this!

Minyak just came in here like he owned the place.

You guys did nothing.

- Neither did you.

- I was waiting for you guys to start.

- Mm. - Was that that lawyer kid?

What's his name? - Kid Lawyer.

- [snaps] That's him.

- And that can be the room where I keep my dolls.

- Uh, what are you even doing here?

- Why do you need a whole room for your dolls?

- Kid Lawyer, do you mind? Just, yeah--

- You see here, every owner of every property in Swellview

has to pay a property tax.

- Oh, here we go.

- As Captain Man is quite delinquent in the payment

of his annual debts, the city of Swellview

has hereby exercised its right to seize to seize the property,

which has now been purchased by my client at a fire sale.

- Captain Man didn't pay the property tax on the Man's Nest,

so the city took it, put it up for auction,

and it was bought by Dr. Minyak.

- Oh. - Gotcha.

- Pretending to understand.

- Were none of you paying attention during my PowerPoint

on civil asset forfeiture?

- How much do you owe?

- $. - That's it?

- Wait, wait, you literally won't pay $ in city taxes?

- I shouldn't have to!

I save bridges. I save buildings.

I save lives.

- And in doing so, you frequently destroy bridges,

and buildings, and lives.

- Yeah. - He's not wrong.

- Exactly. Now, get out of my house!

- It all just-- [sighs] kinda happened.

[overlapping chatter]

You get all that?

- ♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪

- We look amazing.

- You've been posing for hours.

[all shouting at once]

- That's right, keep walking, Schwoz.

Keep walking.

- Be careful, this is ridiculously expensive.

It came all the way from Italy.

Over there, please.

No, no, too far.

Just--all right, fine.

Down, please. Thank you.

[w*apon whirring] - Can we just end

this nonsense already? - Hey, hey, hey, hey!

No! Down! - Stay out of this.

- Down! - This is between him and me.

- Down, Cap! - Been a long time coming!

- No! - Fine.

- Cap, Judge Tootie is still looking over

the auction purchase agreement to see if it's legal.

- Legally speaking, it's legal.

Dr. Minyak bought your mansion. That's fair and square.

- [laughs]

- However, there is a loophole clause.

- A loophole clause?

- Yes, put in by the Honorable Judge Teddy Loophole.

According to this, Dr. Minyak can't

take full possession of the Man's Nest

until Captain Man leaves the premises.

- So as long as Captain Man stays in the Man's Nest,

it's still his? - That's right.

- Hey! - It also says

that if Dr. Minyak leaves the Man's Nest

before Captain Man does, Captain Man can buy

the Man's Nest back for the $ he owes.

- Ooh, no deal.

- Dude! - Why are you?

- Bro. - Okay, fine.

Minyak has to leave first?

No problem.

Come here! - No! Ahh!

Unhand me, you hooligan!

- Happy to! - Ahh!

- Go! - Ahh!

[thud]

- Ooh, right in the new cactus garden.

- Oh! - [gasps]

Where the porcupine lives?

- [screams]

- That'll take care of that.

- You can't force Minyak to leave the Man's Nest.

- Oh, I can't? No problem.

Uh, would you mind, madam?

- Oh, happy to, good sir.

[shouts]

[thud] Oh!

- Ooh, right in the beehive.

- Where the bees live?

- Ahh! Stop stinging me.

I don't want your honey, you infernal bees!

- What I mean is no one can force Dr. Minyak to go.

He has to leave of his own free will.

- I shall never choose to leave.

- So it doesn't count if I do this?

[electricity crackling]

- Ahh!

- Correct.

I have a feeling you're doing this

just to b*at him up at this point.

- As do I. - Fine.

If we can't force him out, we'll just

make him wanna leave.

- Nothing illegal about that.

That fake Jackson Pollock over there is another story.

Art forgery is a serious crime.

- [laughs] I'll take you back to your putt-putt game now.

All right, bye.

- Okay. Okay.

I know how we can fix this.

We just be so annoying he can't stand it,

and suddenly, he wants to leave.

- Yeah.

- ShoutOut, play Captain Man's

country Christmas album.

- Nope.

- With pleasure?

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This album is amazing.

[music playing]

♪ ♪

♪ Santa Claus is driving down the road ♪

♪ His pickup truck has got a heavy load ♪

How is this annoying?

♪ Mrs. Claus has left him ♪

♪ And his dog just up and d*ed ♪

♪ Good thing he's got a friend who's dancitized ♪

- I love this album. - Right?

both: ♪ Captain Man is here to rescue Christmas ♪

- This guy gets it.

both: ♪ Captain Man, boys and girls ♪

♪ Don't miss this ♪

♪ I don't got no reindeer ♪

♪ I ain't keeping any lists ♪

♪ I'm just here to bring you Christmas with my fists ♪

♪ Santa's saying thank you for your help ♪

- You know what? I think I'm good.

- ♪ But I think that I can do this thing myself ♪

- Ho ho ho-- Ahh!

- ♪ 'Cause Santa's old and feeble ♪

♪ And the captain's young and strong ♪

both: ♪ And he's already got himself a Christmas song ♪

♪ Captain Man is here to rescue Christmas ♪

- Yee-haw!

- ♪ Captain Man, wow, Santa really biffed this ♪

♪ Don't leave me milk and cookies ♪

♪ Leave me pictures of your mom ♪

No, for real.

I really wanna see your mom.

- What are we gonna do?

He actually likes this album.

- He's gonna leave.

I think I know how we can turn up the heat on this guy.

- Ah. How is he still here?

- This place is hotter than me in my prom pictures.

- No way.

You went to prom with that news lady? Noice!

- I'm gonna call down to the Man's Nest boiler room.

Schwoz, it's not hot enough.

[beeping] - I'm giving her all I got!

[clears throat]

I mean, I'm giving her all I got.

- I cannot believe that you run this entire nest on coal.

- Burns hot, burns clean.

There's plenty of it.

Absolutely no downside.

- Well, you can turn up the heat all you want

and it won't bother me.

I do enjoy a good schvitz.

[knock at door]

- Ugh. I'll get it.

- No! No!

You're a guest here.

It's my place now. I shall be the one to get it.

Greetings and salutations!

What may I do for you?

- I'm Delivery Joe.

I have a delivery for a Dr. Minyak.

- Yes, I am he.

[snaps] Give me my parcel.

- Ooh, uh, sorry.

Company policy says you gotta come out here to sign for it

from me, Delivery Joe.

- Oh, I do want that package!

However, if I step outside of the Man's Nest, I give it up.

Ah! I have an idea.

[grunting]

[straining efforts]

- Oh.

- My.

- God.

- Did you know he was that flexible?

- Normally, I am not.

However, the heat has enloosened my joints.

- Oh, and yeah, you're still not quite far enough

to sign for this package.

- Oh, I'll sign for your, roomie.

- You're gonna what?

- What? - Don't sign it!

- No! Come on!

- Thanks, Delivery Joe!

So how are we doing tricking Minyak

into leaving the Man's Nest?

- We were doing great until you showed up.

- No, we weren't.

Everything we've tried has failed.

- An empty package?

You tried to trick me.

That wasn't Delivery Joe at all.

- You figured that out all by yourself?

- Yes, and I also figured out that

Captain Man will have to leave to fight crime eventually.

- Wrong. I got four sidekicks who can handle

any crime that might pop up.

- Yeah.

Unless every criminal in Swellview

finds out that Captain Man can't leave,

and then decides to commit crime

at the same time, of course. - Hey, hey!

- Thank you for that idea, Brainstorm.

[all groaning]

When I take over the Man's Nest for good,

you may work here.

- I get to work in the Man's Nest? No way!

- Not a great move.

- What? - Giving Minyak that idea.

- What if he calls KLVY right now

and tells Trent and Mary what's going on?

- He wouldn't do that.

- He's literally doing that right now.

- Good morrow, Mr. Overunder. I bring thee news.

- Well, I was about to start a retrospective of all the times

Captain Man has tried to sneak into Mom Con, but go ahead.

- A little birdie told me that Captain Man

can't leave the Man's Nest.

- Well, a little birdie told me that he wasn't married,

but he was, so birds lie.

- I just thought that all your criminal viewers

might like to know since Captain Man can't leave,

perhaps they'd like to go commit their crimes.

- We are the number one news source for criminals,

and children,

and children who are criminals.

- Then let the crime-ing begin!

[alarm blaring]

- Wow, that happened fast.

- Criminals gonna crim.

- And heroes gotta hero.

Captain Man, you stay right here.

Danger Force is on it. Let's go.

- [laughs]

Yah! Ooh! Wah! [laughs]

- Yah! - Ahh!

[electricity zapping]

Ah!

- [grunting]

- [growling]

♪ ♪

[children screaming]

- Guys, I need backup!

- I don't know why we're fighting.

I love you, man!

- [roars] - [crying]

[screaming]

- [screams] - [shouts]

- Yeah, you better run!

all: Clink!

- I was worried for a bit, but somehow, we managed to take out

every criminal in Swellview.

- And reform one hungry bear.

- To us. all: To us.

Double clink!

- So does this mean Ray gets the Man's Nest back?

- Not yet, but hopefully Minyak gives up soon.

Dude is so annoying.

- Like when he spoiled every movie we tried to watch.

- The pig can see dead people.

- No! [shouting]

- The thief was calling from inside the bouncy house.

[overlapping shouting]

The wizard is just a guy behind a curtain.

- I hate you! [all shouting]

- My God! - I waited my whole life

to watch this movie!

- Ruining "The Wizard of Oz"

was Minyak's most heinous crime.

[phones chiming]

- [gasps]

- [spits] - Okay, um, uh, uh--

Get the restraining board! - The what?

- The restraining board! - The thing we tie you to

when you're doing No-Ice-Cream November,

and the ice cream man drives by.

- I don't even know why I do that

because it ends up evening out during Double-Scoop December.

- Just go get it so we can tie up Captain Man

before he hears this news.

- What news? - Oh--ah!

- No news. 'Scuse me.

- I feel like there's something you guys aren't telling me.

[phone chiming]

Ooh, a phone notification.

Looks like news.

Now, simply to read it.

[electricity zaps]

- Oops.

- Okay, now I know something's up.

Ah!

Hey, what's the restraining board doing here?

Oh, my God, is it November already?

- [shouts]

- Uh! [groans]

- Got it? - No, we got it. Teamwork!

You got it, folks. I believe in you.

- Ahh! [grunting] - All right, okay.

I need you to remember that if you leave the Man's Nest,

it goes to Dr. Minyak.

But according to the news alert,

your lifetime ban from Mom Con has been lifted.

No, no, no! - [screams]

- Minyak will take the Man's Nest!

- [screaming] [overlapping chatter]

- Yah!

- You got it. - No!

- Get the legs!

Okay, no! - Let me at them moms!

- No! - Let me at them moms!

♪ ♪

- He looks so peaceful.

- Yeah, putting him in Schwoz's biocryogenic freezer

was an amazing idea.

- It was your idea.

- I'm aware.

Checkmate, Minyak.

- First of all,

I don't even know how to play checkers.

Secondly, Captain Man's burning hot desire

to attend Mom Con will melt that freezer

in a matter of hours.

[ice cracking]

- Great idea, ShoutOut.

- Well, we can just call whoever lifted

his ban from Mom Con and get them to reinstate it.

- Great idea, ShoutOut. - [dialing]

Yes, hello? Can I please speak to whoever owns Mom Con?

She's transferring us now. - Yes!

- Hey, put it on speakerphone

so Minyak can hear his plan fail.

[phone ringing]

- Hello. Dr. Minyak, owner of Mom Con speaking.

How may I assist you?

- No way. That's our new roommate's name.

- No, you dullard!

You were speaking with me because

I am the owner of Mom Con!

- How did you even buy Mom Con?

- I simply rummaged around my new abode

and found a bucket of gold coins in a room

labeled "Schwoz's bedroom."

- No! My gold!

- Checkers mate, Danger Force.

[vocalizing]

- I wanna go back to the story about trying

to replace that painting I ate.

- That's it. Brainstorm, call your mom and tell her

to meet us at Hip Hop Purée,

and tell her to bring the Vice Mayor with her.

- Okay, but fair warning,

my mom made my stepdad give up

brightly-colored sodas for the week.

He is not in a great mood.

- We don't need him to smile.

We just need him to be there.

- Copy that. One stepdad, no smiling.

♪ ♪

- I don't get it.

- Schwoz, will you explain?

- I would, but I don't get it, either.

- Okay, Bose's mom

loves Jackson Pollock paintings, right?

- I guess. - So we're gonna show her

this "Jackson Pollock" painting

and have our art expert here, Harold Rosenschwoz,

verify its authenticity.

And when she wants to buy it, we're gonna say

we don't want any money for it.

- Now I'm even more confused.

- Yeah, why would we say that?

I need money.

Someone stole all my gold.

- Because what we really want is for Bose's stepdad...

- The vice mayor. - To change the law

in Swellview so Captain Man can keep the Man's Nest.

- Ah, good plan.

No notes.

- Great, 'cause Bose's parents are here,

and he's wearing a bucket?

- Where are you taking us, Bosey?

- And when can I take off this dang mask?

- When you learn to stop drinking those ridiculous

brightly-colored sodas.

No! - No. Okay.

- Come on.

Ta-da!

- An ugly painting?

- That is not just any ugly painting.

That is an ugly Jackson Pollock.

- Yes, it's one of his ugliest pieces.

You can tell by the energy of the splatters.

- I'm sorry. Are you an art expert or something?

- [laughs]

- Yeah, can you not read the sign?

- Do you wanna buy it?

- I think I do! - Oh, wow!

- Oh, wait a minute.

That looks very similar to one I already own.

- [clears throat]

- Is that Bruce Willis?

- [gasps] Oh, my gosh, where? Where, where, where?

Bruce, I love you!

That girl did look a lot like Bruce Willis,

but I don't think it was him.

- Anyway, back to the painting,

are you sure this one looks like yours?

- Yes, I'm absolutely-- wait a minute.

I did not notice those red and green splatters before.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yes, that is the genius of his work.

You see something new every time you look at it.

[phone ringing]

- Will you excuse me for just one second?

- Take your time. [soda pops open]

[soda sloshing]

- Mika, the biocryogenic freezer is failing.

[beeping]

Captain Man's about to get out!

- You cannot let him leave the Man's Nest.

- No time to hang up.

[ice cracking]

- [yelps]

- Moms. Gotta get to the moms.

- Mom Con beckons. Go to her.

- So many hot moms!

All in one place! - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah! - [grunts]

- Do not give up. You are so close.

The moms are waiting. - No, no, no. Ah!

- Oh, that's cheating! You can't do that!

- You bought Mom Con with Schwoz's life savings.

- Mom-- - Ah!

- [yelping]

♪ ♪

- For God's sake's, buy it!

- Okay, I will.

It can replace the one that Bose ruined.

- Wait, you knew that I ruined the painting

and then tried to cover it up by eating it?

- Yes.

Well, I didn't know about the eating thing,

but I did know that you ruined it.

- And you're not mad? - Of course not.

It was an accident.

Why would I be mad at my son because of an accident?

- Aww.

all: ♪ Genuine moment ♪

- [gasps] I love that show. - Right?

- How much you want for it?

- Oh, it's free. - Great.

Wrap it up and ship it to me. Let's go.

Bose, you're driving. [keys jangle]

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

It's free if you write a new law that says Captain Man

gets to keep the Man's Nest.

- Get me a napkin.

I can't see a dang thing in this bucket.

So I'm just going to sign my name,

and you can write whatever law you want on it.

Vicey out.

- Okay.

- Let's go home and watch "Genuine Moments."

- [gasps] - Great.

- Okay, great. - We got it.

We won. - Uh, not yet.

This napkin doesn't actually become a law

until a judge ratifies it.

- I'm a judge.

all: Judge Tootie!

- Okay, Vice Mayor Willard just wrote this law on a napkin,

and we need you to make it legal.

- We're kind of in a hurry here.

- Well, he misspelled his own name,

and it's written on a napkin.

But Vice Mayor Willard writes a lot of laws on napkins,

so it's legal.

- Yeah! - Yay!

- As long as Captain Man hasn't left the Man's Nest yet.

- Someone with a phone, text AWOL right now!

- Ah, ah--got it.

- Text him! - I'm trying!

♪ ♪

- Don't go to [grunting]

Mom Con! [both grunting]

[phone chimes]

- He's gone!

Time to fly away, my little birdie,

into the waiting arms of , moms.

- Ah! [all grunt]

- No, she's--ohh, Mom Con!

- Judge?

Judge, please tell these ruffians

to get out of my Man's Nest.

- We got Vice Mayor Willard to write a law on a napkin

saying it's Captain Man's again.

- Really? - That's right.

- Curse you, Swellview napkin law!

- So I can go to Mom Con now?

all: Yes! Go!

- Yeah!

- Can I go now, too?

- Yes, thank you so much. - Thank you, Judge.

- Have a good night, ma'am. - Thank you.

- Fine, you won.

Just let me collect my dolls.

Why are you locking the doors?

- Well, you didn't want to leave.

[electricity zapping] - Oh.

- Now youse can't leave.

- Uh-- [laughs nervously]

- Now paint this fool!

[paintball g*ns clacking] - [yelps]

But I didn't do anything illegal! Ah!

- ♪ Always on the scene in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'm okay ♪

♪ I'm okay! ♪

♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger! One, two, three, Force! ♪