01x08 - Big Sister Is Watching

[bunniefuu]

♪ Head above water
I'm making a way ♪

♪ It's the first of the month
And the bills ain't paid ♪

♪ I'm saying
Man, this feeling's like Good Times ♪

♪ Yeah
Man, this feeling's like Good Times ♪

♪ Keep my family close
Pick me up when I'm low ♪

♪ Hold me down on this road
And I'mma bring us back home again ♪

♪ Man, this feeling's like Good Times
Yeah ♪

♪ Man, this feeling's like Good Times ♪

♪ And today I'mma get out my way, Momma ♪

♪ They try to spray
But the spirit kept me safe, Momma ♪

♪ Again
Man, this feeling's like Good Times ♪

♪ Yeah
Man, this feeling's like Good Times ♪

♪ Hustling to survive
I'm just doing my job ♪

♪ Feds be blocking my shine
But the sun always rises here ♪

♪ Man, this feeling's like Good Times
Yeah ♪

♪ Man, this feeling's like Good Times ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

[man] Power.

You either have it,
you're trying to get it,

or you're Amish,
and you're sitting in the dark,

pissed you ran out of candles.

I hadn't thought much about power
until that day.

The day my life changed forever.

Let me take you back to the beginning.

See, my mom is President of the Projects.

And as a famous prophet once said,
"With great power comes 99 problems."

Moms was about to experience

the unintended consequences
of her newfound power.

I am proud to announce
the first city-owned housing community

to have security cameras
at all our entrances to keep us safe.

[phone vibrating]

- Hey, Lisa.
- Girl.

You watching
this Real White Wives of Hockey?

This bitch Meagan told Brittany
her greens were salty.

- Brittany slap...
- Lisa. I can't talk right now.

You always say that.
You starting to sound like my daddy.

I'm at the ribbon-cutting ceremony
for the new cameras. Let me call you back.

You act like you too busy for me
since you got that little president job.

I've been busy, but that's the job.
I promise we'll hook up.

[chuckles] Sorry about that.
Donte, where's the scissors?

[whispering]

What do you mean, "Not in the budget"?
We can't afford scissors?

[chuckling]

[growling]

[people applauding]

You're doing a good thing
for your community.

You didn't give me a choice.
What I asked for

was the elevator repaired,
not security cameras.

Don't you agree that safety comes first?

You've never heard
the saying "safety second."

I haven't.

What good is an elevator
if there's no surveillance system

to prevent people from stealing it?

Steal an elevator?
How would someone even do that?

Well, with your attitude, they wouldn't.

But they're not you. You're you.

Which is why we're on your side here.

- I didn't know there were sides.
- There aren't.

That's the point.
You want what's best for the projects.

I want what's best
for the residents of the projects.

Of course.

What would the projects be
without the residents?

Just real estate.

Which is why
we're so concerned about safety.

And nothing else. Seriously.

Nothing else.

[smooth music playing]

[Junior] I know I should be
doing a voice-over

about what I'm feeling
or what's the next story point,

but this b*at is slapping.

[Reggie] I got you a job
at Henry's Chicken Shack.

With my cab out of commission,
someone's gotta pick up the slack.

It ain't gon' be me!

Hey, what about school?
Why aren't you working at Henry's?

We both know school's not for you.

I'm still mourning the death of my cab.
Show some respect and go to work.

[Junior] Some of us were struggling
with not having any power at all.

Welcome to the first day
of the worst job of your life.

You on the bird dunk today, Evans.

Quick advice
before the Weight Watchers rush.

Don't let them see you cry,
and extra sauce is fifty cents.

No expectations.

You mean "no exceptions."
And they say I'm not smart. Whoops!

It's glowing.

[ominous music playing]

[chicken clucking]

- [Junior screaming]
- [chicken squawking]

WorldStar! Damn!

You getting two-pieced by a two-piece.

[man laughing]

- [screaming continues]
- [squawking continues]

[Junior grunting]

- [squawk]
- [panting]

[chicken clucking]

[squawking]

[Junior screaming]

[Junior] Oh, please!

[dramatic music playing]

[knocking]

Who is that?

"I don't know. We didn't invite anybody.
I only want you to eat me."

You're right. I'll ignore them.

What you doing opening my door, boy?

You lucky I don't have
a permit for my damn g*n.

I would've sh*t your ass
and gave you two navels.

"Permit?" This dude.

Mr. Evans, you need to watch your son.
I have a personal emergency.

Uh-uh, she got a date.

You just had a date two weeks ago.

Well, at my age, two weeks is two years.

[gasps] I know you didn't just touch
my sandwich with those nasty baby hands.

Put my pickle down, boy!
Didn't I just say...

[dramatic music playing]

[both screaming]

This is why I don't babysit.

You sure? 'Cause I heard you need a job.

I heard you need a guardian. Ah!

Your diaper days are approaching, old man.

[Reggie grunting]

You threatening me?

Hell yeah, *****.

[screaming]

Let's see you touch your toes.
Oh, you can't, huh?

Mimi, take this boy back.
I am not watching his ass.

- Damn it!
- f*ck!

Now, that's a buffet.

Hurry. The old one might be fat,
but he got fast feet.

[women laughing]

[Junior] For others,
power just falls in their laps.

I don't know why you got me here.

I'm not about to be a pawn
in a surveillance state,

whose primary agenda is
the subjugation of people of color.

For too long, Black bodies
have been objects of observation,

not equal participants of communication.

Look, Encyclopedia Brown,

I just need you
to show me what the buttons do.

You wanna help Black people?
Start with your mother.

Okay, fine.

To switch cameras,
you click on "Switch Cameras."

- To zoom in, you...
- I'm not an idiot. I know how to zoom.

- [upbeat music playing]
- [police siren wailing]

[women laughing]

Why is she hanging out
with the garden tool, Tina?

"Garden tool"?
Mom, when did you start cussing?

Sorry, baby. Tina irks me.

What'd she do?

We were playing Uno,
and when I played a draw two,

she played another draw two instead of
drawing two like the rules clearly state.

Now that Uno-wrecker
is having fun with my best friend,

trying to act like she's her best friend.

- Wait. Where are you going?
- Nowhere.

You're leaving me here with this?

- Donte's here.
- Is he?

I'll be quick. You mind the shop.

I refuse to look at these screens.

I will not be a party
to this kind of flagrant invasion of pri...

Hold on. What is this?

[Junior] There are those
who use power as a w*apon.

- What's your name, son?
- Junior.

[dramatic music playing]

That's as*ault, Junior.

What? No, I didn't.

Don't resist. You're already going down
for assaulting an officer.

That's 50 years to life
and another hole in my punch card.

Six more and I get a bump in my pension.

Yeah, eat mace!

Nice try, pigs. I caught you on camera
falsifying an arrest.

Oh, no!

An incriminating tape
of two police officers?

Whatever will we do?

[laughing] Yeah, you don't happen to have

a cooperative grand jury
in your other pocket, do you?

No. But I do have this.

Ah, sh*t.

Please delete that.

My masculinity is, like,
the only thing I have.

Me too. You think I punch walls for fun?

It's my brand.

Gone are the days you harass my people

to compensate
for your privileged childhood trauma.

There are cameras everywhere,
and I'm watching you.

So, stay out of here,
or I'm posting this on Black Twitter.

Not Black Twitter.

I can handle indictment,
but memes are for life. Please!

Damn, that felt good!
We don't have to fight the power.

Power to the people! We are the world!
The revolution will not be televised.

- It will be tweeted!
- [Junior] Grey!

My bad.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm all right.

What's this?

Damn, genetically modified
for the pathetically modified.

- [sinister music playing]
- [women laughing]

- What'd I miss?
- Oh. Hey, Bev!

Nah, we was just...
Girl, we was just being silly.

Siri, remind me
to check the building for gas leaks.

Uh, you wanna go to the movies
to see Honey, I Shrunk Madea?

Ooh, nah. I got Bible study tonight.

We did so much sinning,
the devil won't look us in the eye.

Girl you k*ll me!

I wanna sin.

[rats squeaking]

[Junior] Was I such a chicken
that now I'm becoming one?

[man] Hey, m*therf*cker! Run it,
or your ass'll end up at a Biggie concert.

I thought Biggie was dead.

He is, fool. The concert would be
in heaven, m*therf*cker.

Damn, you don't be using
your critical thinking skills, my G.

- Come on.
- [can rattles]

- Hey, who the f*ck back there?
- [Junior] Hey, fellas.

You shouldn't be robbing people.

Oh, is that right?

Well, how about
we just b*at your ass instead?

[Junior grunting, groaning]

[Reggie grunts]

[chicken squawking]

[Junior clucking]

[Junior] Cock-a-doodle-do.

- [gasps] What the...
- Cluck?

See what I did there? [laughing]

[Junior squawking]

[man grunting]

Here you go, Mr. Lear.

Oh, you can call me Norman.

Holy sh*t!
I can't believe what I just saw.

Being held up is scary.

Never mind that.

I just watched a kid
turning into a giant chicken.

As a centenarian,
I thought I'd seen everything.

So, what the hell do they call you?

You can call me...

Oh, sh*t, my eyes!
Who the hell was that mother...

Clucker. The Mother Clucker.

[Junior] And just like that,
the Mother Clucker crime fighter was born.

Or hatched.

In the meantime, even though Grey
was still anti-Big Brother,

she was finding her power
being Big Sister.

Look, that mail carrier looks sus.
What do you think is in his bag?

- Uh, mail?
- Awfully big hat he's wearing.

Wonder why he's hiding his face?

The sun?

I'm gonna call my mom.
The security in this building is pathetic.

[Beverly] You've reached
Beverly's voicemail. Leave a mess...

How am I gonna keep the projects safe
if I can't even see the projects?

That's why
I drink myself near blind every night.

That way, I don't have to worry
about seeing nothing.

I need to do something.

[camera whirring]

[dramatic music playing]

- I'll just call Whitemen myself.
- [phone ringing]

Please hold
for projects president Beverly Evans.

Hi, this is Beverly Evans.
Why am I calling from my daughter's phone?

[stammering]
Well, now that I'm a big sh*t president,

I can't be bothered
with dialing numbers myself.

Even bothering
to explain that to you is beneath me.

Let's cut to it. I need more cameras.
On the inside this time.

No, for the building.

People's innards
can be their own business. [laughs]

At least for now.
And when will they be installed?

Oh! That soon?

[machines booting up]

Wow!

Dang, they really care about our safety.

All of a sudden.

Almost as much as I do.

Seriously. It's about safety.
And nothing else.

- [Dalvin] What we doing here?
- Thanks to you, the house is a mess.

So, either we clean it up,
or we hang out someplace

where nobody gives a sh*t if it's a dump
until your mother comes home.

- What I'm supposed to do?
- Stand over there and catch.

I... I can't see.

Oh, you gon' see.
You wanna sling something?

Have you ever tried slinging a baseball?
You can make a lot of money going pro.

And then someday, I can be proud of you.

[Reggie grunting]

Can a G get in on some of this action?

Ooh. On top of everything else, now this?

I swear, no father has ever been
more disappointed in his son.

Everybody knows
you double down on a hard two.

- He ain't making that sh*t.
- You think so?

They didn't call me
Rollin' Reggie for nothing.

Fo sho, double on a hard two then.

Mm-hmm. Take that. Take that.
Pop your collar.

Get that paper, son.

Did you... you just call me "son"?

I did, didn't I? Huh.

Suppress those emotions, boy.

You get emotional,
and they'll catch you slipping.

[Junior] It was good to see
Dalvin and Dad accepting one another.

Meanwhile, I finally decided

it was time to see
what these feathers could do.

[tires screeching]

[upbeat music playing]

[woman screaming]

[Junior clucking]

Ooh. You almost missed it.
Mr. Johnson's gonna walk in

and catch Mrs. Johnson
spread-eagle for Mr. James.

Oh, no, no, no. I can't watch this.

Oh, that's no problem.
Let's just go to the reverse angle.

[woman] Henry, calm down.
You know we're separated.

Uh-uh. Sucker punch.

My man's was just trying
to get his pants on.

I can't look away.
Now I understand the Housewives craze.

Oh, damn! Not the cast iron skillet.

- I need your help.
- Hey, Ma.

I'm not watching anything.
Just doing my job.

I'm your eye in the sky. What do you need?

We're looking for Lisa. Any time between...

Stop! There she is.

I knew she was lying.
Those aren't her church clothes.

She ain't showing enough skin.

[gasping] Chicago Mix in their teeth.

She went and saw
Honey, I Shrunk Madea without me.

Ma, not flossing doesn't prove guilt.

Otherwise, Junior would be in Cook County.
His teeth look like chewed-up candy corn.

You right. I need more proof.

Yeah, yo.
What up, my dawg man, dawg dude, dawg?

- Your sister got me patrolling the halls.
- Why would Grey have you doing that?

'Cause she's blackmailing me.

- She caught me doing something on camera.
- Grey?

Yeah, man, your sister been on one.

- Man, she got this whole building shook.
- Skoochie, can you get my mail?

Why can't you get it?

The eyes. The eyes.

[Grey] Hey! Enough malingering
in the halls, people. Malingerers!

Be on your way.
And may camera angles be in your favor.

[Grey laughing]

[Junior] Forget changing.
Grey was spinning out of control.

I need to stop her.

- Oh. Where is it? Where is it?
- [man] Where's what?

[screams] Willy! Don't scare me like that.
How's Bridget?

She left me for my father.
Said he was more worldly.

Took her down to Pei Wei's dumpster
for her birthday.

- Bougie.
- You don't need her, Willy.

You know how many women
would k*ll for a dive with you?

Not me. Take your hand off my boob.

Sorry, I thought it was a little sexual
tension between us. Excuse me.

[Willie] Are you looking
for anything in particular?

'Cause I have everything organized.

Lisa's garbage. Don't ask.

No judgment. No judgment at all.
Look, I live in a dumpster.

Okay, let me look.
Lisa-comma-Lashes. Here ya go, baby.

Hell yeah! Gotcha.
Let's see you lie your way out of this.

[Willie] Good luck.

[camera whirring]

[farting]

[Junior] I know what you're thinking.
"Don't only hens lay eggs?"

What you really should be asking is,

"Why am I poking logic holes
in a story about a teenage boy

turning into a life-sized chicken
in order to fight crime?"

[computer beeping]

I don't know who you are,

but you're about
to become chicken tenders.

[dramatic music playing]

[Junior] Even with the best intentions,
power changes people.

The point is,
it's what you do with that power

that defines you.

It was time to see
what my legacy would be.

Luckily, nothing could distract me
from my mission at...

Hey! There's Dad and Dalvin!

Hi, guys. Check me out. I'm a superhero.

- Did you hear that?
- Nah.

You know, Pops. You ain't that bad.

I guess you could've sprayed out
my nuts after all.

Yeah. I guess I'll stop telling people
that Ma had an affair with Derrick Rose.

[Dalvin cooing] Daddy.

Hey, Reggie 2.0,
you want Pops to get you some ice cream?

Hell, yeah, I want some ice cream.

But first, I got something for you.
[whistling]

I saw your taxi could use a tune-up.

Got the AC fixed
'cause a player gotta stay cool,

added the cushioned leather
imported all the way from Colombia.

I tinted the windows
so nobody try to jack you.

And I even got your name on the plates.

Them personalized joints.
And the tags is real.

For me? If I hit the streets now,
I could make rent real quick.

[car engine revving]

Man, that dude crazy.

When he get excited,
he just be dropping sh*t.

But he'll come back.
We're getting ice cream.

[wind gusting]

[women laughing]

Ooh, Bev, look at you!
Anniversary date with Reggie?

Tina, leave.

- You're not the boss of...
- Now!

Unless you wanna end up
how your mama ended up.

[gasping] I can't be a greeter at Walmart.
I shop there.

What's going on, girl? You acting fishy.

Smelling a li'l fishy too.
Got a tilapia smell to ya.

This is what's going on.

Okay, fine.
Yes, Tina and me went to the matinee.

That's why we've been laughing so hard.

The movie was so bad it was funny.

And while I'm confessing, yes,
we had our favorite Chicago Mix too.

I can't believe you. How dare you?

You went without me? I'll k*ll you!

[both grunting]

- Bev, this is a new frontal. Let go.
- You let go first.

- Forget your frontal.
- No, you let go first.

I'm home.

Hello? Family?

[grunting] Finally have a good day,
and nobody's here.

[Junior] While Dad was pampering himself,

little did he know
it was someone in Pampers

who would bring his good times to an end.

Think he taught me how to be a man?
Please, *****. YouTube University, G.

f*ck kinda name
is Rollin' Reggie anyway, man?

f*ck a Reggie, man. [whistling]

What you need? Watches, purses, binkies?

I got blinking binkies.
I got singing, leather, black binkies.

Nah. I need a Tijuana Paint Job.

- Whoa. Ain't you a little young for that?
- No, fool.

I need you to strip that car to the bones.

- You hear me?
- Sure. We can do that.

That's it? That's all you need?

[dramatic music playing]

[g*ns cocking]

- [Junior squawking]
- [g*n fire]

Well, well, well.
If it isn't Wingstop's finest.

It's the... [squawks] Mother Clucker!

If you're trying to grow your brand,
I suggest you work on that name.

You gotta stop all this, Grey.

You're policing your own people.
You've become the very thing you despise.

You're blackmailing g*ng members
into being your security.

In my projects, we call it "whitemailing."

Whitemail, huh? [scoffs]
Candace Owens would be proud.

You take that back!

Make me.

You don't mess with me, all flats!

For the good, for the hood!

[sighing, chuckles]

Whoo. Man, oh, man.
I'm ready to pull another shift.

I love my life.

My cab! My baby!

What the hell happened?

Oh! Oh, Lord. My chest.
Just tell me why! Tell me who!

Coyote blend? I can't believe
you had me walking around

with an endangered species on my head.

Girl, please.

Coyote blends are the new Mongolian.
Half the women in the hood got 'em.

I'm not half the women in the hood.
I'm your best friend.

And you ain't gotta remind me.

I've been making you look good
since high school.

All the waxes that top lip has seen.
I don't wanna hear it.

Well, it was my hairy lip
that inspired you to do your first waxing.

There it is, back to you.

Can't end the day
without the famous Beverly wraparound.

"My kids this, Reggie that,
being president is hard."

Being the president is hard.

You know what else is hard?

When your ride-or-die,
"if anybody ask, I was with you" bestie

don't have the time for you.

Aw, you miss me.

Yes, bitch. I miss our talks.

I miss our missions.
I miss pretending to care about your kids.

- All that.
- I'm sorry.

I've just been busy.

I know, but I don't like
being reduced to just your stylist.

Never that. You're my sister.

Hmm.

Wanna watch an episode of Housewives?

Yes, girl. I've been thinking about
that salty shade all day.

[phone vibrating]

Girl, I get it.
You the president. I'll be here.

Thanks for understanding.

[Junior] Had I known
I'd be able to kick my sister's ass,

I would have became a giant
chicken hero a long time ago.

[Grey grunting]

[snoring]

[grunting continues]

[dramatic music playing]

[screaming]

No!

My office! [crying]

What have you done?
You're as stupid as my stupid brother!

If your brother is so stupid,
why don't you notice

he steals a dollar
out of your piggy bank every week?

What?

Why is someone running
around here in a chicken costume?

[squawking]

Grey, what's going on here?

After I got a taste of what it feels like
to be Big Brother, I couldn't stop.

And then there was a rotisserie superhero
who flew in trying to save the hood.

He couldn't whoop me.
Then a knockdown brawl

that destroyed the cameras
but may have saved the community.

Yeah, yeah. That's what it looked like.
I was just checking.

Listen, this... this is my fault.

I shouldn't have
put this kind of responsibility on you.

This is your fault.

- How could you be so irresponsible, mom?
- You better watch it.

[Junior] Grey might've
abused her position,

but we all know
the real power comes from the system.

We have Beverly right where we want her.

[machine beeping]

[Junior] So, where does that leave
the Mother Clucker?

I'm keeping my identity secret for now,

in case I have to come out of hiding
to save the world again.

So, I guess you could say
I live to squawk another day.

[squawking]

Hey, Reg, what's wrong?

[groaning]

Somebody stripped my car. To the bones.

What happened to those fancy cameras?
Somebody had to see it.

I'll find out who did it tomorrow.

I saw you pay those Latino strippers.

- I need you to be a little more specific.
- I'm going to bed.

- [g*n fire]
- [man screaming]

I'll be right back, little brother.

The fu...

Don't. No one will ever believe a baby.

[squawking]