02x02 - The C.R.E.E.P. Show

[bunniefuu]

VAL: So, who's excited to go
to the CREEP show?

- [SIGHS]
- VAL: You're gonna love it.

I still don't understand
why we have to go to this.

Oh, come on, we get to go with MIFT,

and there's nothing more fun
than a Convention for

Resourceful Energy Efficiency and Power.

Really? 'Cause I... I can think
of several things more fun.

- Watching paint dry, for instance.
- Ooh.

- TYLOR: Uh, sitting in traffic...
- [VAL GASPS]

- Sanitizing my grandma's dentures...
- Aw, Grandma T.

Well, now you're gonna have to
add the CREEP show to that list.

I'm just... I'm not really
in the right headspace

to go to some big energy convention.

Why is nothing working?

- Completely get why you're upset...
- [SCREAMING] Oh, no!

... after that very public
oopsie at the football game

that I promised myself
I'd never talk about again.

- Here I am, doing it!
- No, no, no.

- [YELLS]
- [GRUNTS]

- Yeah!
- Whoa!

- [BRAKES SCREECHING]
- Whoa! [GRUNTS]

Ha-ha! Gotcha.

You know what? It's actually
nice to be down here again.

In fact, I'll bet our old MIFT
crew really misses us.

I bet they're barely
functioning without us.

- [BANJO PLAYING]
- ROGER: ♪ Oh! Don't you worry ♪

♪ Don't you fret for now
you've got this gent ♪

♪ I'm the MIFT replacement ♪

Oh, I've never known such joy.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

- [VAL GASPS]
- Cheers!

Hello! Sorry about the flash.
A bit of a documenter.

I love photographing all
my new friends. [GIGGLES]

And, uh, random strangers?

- Strangers no more.
- Tylor, Val,

this is our new MIFTer, Roger Rogers.

- TYLOR: Uh, sorry, Roger Rogers?
- Roger that.

[GASPS] Double T and
Double R. Double fun!

He wrenched the nut on his first try.

With his teeth!

What are teeth for, if not chewing
on things made from metal? Mmm.

Yeah, unlike the last guy we had,

- Roger is actually useful.
- He brought his own tools,

and knows the difference between positive

pressure and injection welding torches.

[SCOFFS] Doesn't everybody?

Oh, it's CREEP o'clock.

You better get your scales
and tails in gear.

Oh, Rogie, your whimsical melodies
make me lose track of time.

But real quick, before we go,

this is the key to Vendy,
the love of my life,

and I don't know what this key is,
but I'm too afraid to get rid of it.

Oh, and here's the master keys
to Monsters, Incorporated.

- [GASPS]
- They will open any door in this building,

including the one to your heart.

Wowie! Well, thanks for trusting
me to hold down the fort

while the rest of you are at the
CREEP show today, Uncle Fritz.

[PANTING IN EXCITEMENT] Uncle Fritz!

You know, I've always wanted
an uncle-ish father figure.

Fa-fa-fa-fa father figure!

Roger Rogers.

Does that name sound completely
made up, or is it just me?

- Nah, it's just you.
- I really like that name.

It's easy to remember.
Roger Rogers. Roger Rogers.

Oh, but if you don't like it, I don't
like it as much as I said I did.

All right, MIFTers,
time to finish loading up.

Monsters, Incorporated is going where?

- That's right! To the CREEP show.
- [ALL CHEERING AND WHOOPING]

[GIGGLING] Well, have fun CREEP-ing.

Welcome to the CREEP show.

Where being a creep
is a good thing. [LAUGHS]

- Pardon me, coming through.
- Duncan!

- Is that a model of Monstropolis?
- DUNCAN: To scale!

Mother and I worked
all weekend on this beauty.

The crown jewel of Mike
and Sulley's presentation.

Or, as I like to call it, MOMstropolis!

- MOMstropolis?
- Yes. And like her, it is extremely fragile.

So no one touches it. You hear me?

- No, no, no one!
- Ho, ho. Oh! Ow!

Smitty, help me unload these
canisters for the big presentation.

And please use all four
of your hands this time.

Okey-doke. But my bottom hands
have a mind of their own.

Or at least that's what I tell the cops.

[BUBBLING]

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Convention

for Resourceful Energy
Efficiency and Power.

MAN: All right, how's everybody
doing at the CREEP show?

WOMAN: Energy from the sun.

Now, I know what you're
thinking. "That's crazy".

- Wow!
- [CHUCKLES]

Better than watching paint dry, huh?

Take in the sights and... [SNIFFS]

smells of opportunity and body odor.
It is so great to be back.

Yeah, it is. And I'm going to get
twice as much swag as last year.

And I weigh it, so I'll know.

[CACKLING] Are you a fan of the can?

Mike Wazowski and
Monsters, Inc. have arrived.

Would you be so kind as to
direct us to our usual booth?

I'm sure it's in the center,
with all the other big sh*ts.

Big sh*ts? Yeah, mmm.

Let's see. Monsters, Inc.

Laugh energy. [CHUCKLES] Yes, of course.

You're with alternative energy.

Oh!

"And Other Hare-Brained Ideas"?

Hmm... Well, we're definitely not
near Scream Energy anymore.

This can't be happening.

There's been an insulting mistake!

- Spinnergy exercise energy makes you feel great.
- [SPINNERS GRUNTING]

And just 16 hours of exercise a day

powers your house for an entire hour.

Come on, girl. Hop on the bikes.

Hard pass. I'd rather sit in the dark.

But I would love this.

Our booth's got to be
down here somewhere.

- [BURPING]
- [DINGS]

Huh. The guy said 60 and a half, right?

- [FARTS]
- [CROWD LAUGHING]

- Wow.
- VAL: Hmm, 58, 59...



FRITZ: All right, the
booth may be small,

but it's going to be
the biggest small booth ever.

And would you look at that? We've
even got a line waiting for us.

I bet you're all here to learn about
the wonders of Laugh Power.

- No. I'm in the line for the bathroom.
- [FLUSHING]

Well, would you like some reading
material while you're in there?

- You, uh, you got anything longer?
- Oh...

FRITZ: Oh. Perfect.

Yeah, perfectly inadequate.

Looks like we got our work
cut out for us then.

You're all set up for Mike and I's
big Laugh Power presentation.

Val? Tylor? You're on booth duty.

[GASPS] A day full of talking to
hundreds of different strangers?

Oh, my gosh, it's gonna
be the best day ever!

Yeah, I don't, I'm so... I just...

I don't know if I'm
the best spokesmonster.

Come on. You're the poster boy of
a former Scarer becoming a jokester.

[SIGHS] Yeah, but when I tried
to talk about it at the football game,

it didn't exactly go well.

That's putting it mildly.

I understand. I'm a little
nervous about today myself.

You get nervous?

Ho, ho. Yep. But life is
a lot like the Laugh Floor.

We can't stop going through doors
just because one doesn't work out.

You know?

[SIGHS] I'll try.

That's the Monsters, Inc. spirit.

Come on, Sulley. It's time to
schmooze and kiss some butts.

Well, hopefully, our
butts get kissed, too.

You know, metaphorically speaking.

- You feel better now? Let's do this.
- Well, uh...

[GASPS] Oh, my gosh.

Where did you get that amazing necklace?

Oh, this little thing? It's from
Tiff-a-sneeze, of course.

Oh! Well, why don't you take
a Monsters, Incorporated bag?

It'll go great with your necklace.

Huh! Why, thank you.

- Now you try.
- [SIGHS AND CLEARS THROAT]

Pardon me, sir, would you like a...

- Sorry, that's... that's not what it's...
- [BELCHES]

Laugh Power is the future.
Ha-ha. Okay. Bye.

Nowhere to go but up.

[TOILET FLUSHING]

Hi. Would you like a Monsters,
Incorporated Laugh Power T-shirt?

It was mass-produced with love.

Do you happen to have a Stink-a-Mint?

Actually, I do.

Mmm. Thanks.

Ho-ho!

- [LOUD STOMP]
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, no! Here he comes! Run!

Oh!

[ROARS]

Yummy, yummy, rargh!

Take that! [LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

Rargh, rargh. Now there'll
finally be parking.

Take that, divorce court! [ROARS]

[GASPS] No, no, come here,
you! Spit it out! Now!

Oi!

NEEDLEMAN: Oh, sorry, Terry.

Playground's closed.

- DUNCAN: Give me that.
- Whoa.

Oh, look at you. I will fix you.

I shall guard this city with my life.

Grrr. Your life is small. Like
your disproportionate wings.

- [SCREAMING]
- Ooh, a paperweight.

- [CLANGING]
- This bag's getting heavy.

[SIGHS] Nobody wants a brochure.

[GASPS] Let's work together.
You stock them, I'll pass them.

Ooh! These horns are very handy.

Cool. Glad something about me is useful.

Hey! Are you one of those jokesters?

Me? Oh, no, I'm just
a jokester assistant.

- But Tylor over here, he's the real jokester.
- Heh-heh.

Oh, yeah, I know you.

You're the guy that tanked at the
MU homecoming game. [LAUGHS]

He was hilarious. I laughed
so hard, I needed my inhaler.

[ALL LAUGH]

Hey, don't listen to them.

[SIGHS] I'm gonna go for a walk.

[LAUGHTER]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

PHOTOGRAPHER: Oh! Nice one.

I am Alistair Clawbottom.

And we here at Scare Masters
have been scaring our way up

from the bottom for over a century!

And this newfangled Laugh Power

is an affront to our monster nature.

- [CROWD GASPS]
- It's all malarkey, I say.

- Ma-larkey!
- CROWD: Yeah!

Scream calendars,
calendars for the New Year.

Features all of our top Scarers.

Hey there, I'm Mr. April...
if you're wondering.

Hmm.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

The It's Later booth was my favorite.

I got a Scare card signed
by Johnny Worthington.

- [AUDIENCE CHEERING]
- FEMALE ANNOUNCER: It all started long ago,

with a monster, a scream and a dream.

A dream to make human children's
lives a living nightmare.

Jack "The Fang" Worthington, one
of the pioneers of Scream Energy,

founded FearCo, a company powered
by the most frightening Scarers.

And now, the torch has been
passed to his son, Johnny,

who is leading FearCo into the future.

Okay, let's open the floor
to some questions.

CROWD: Johnny! Johnny!

Yeah. You there. Four-eyes. Go ahead.

Do you really think Laugh
Power is more efficient?

With all due respect to Monsters, Inc.
and their energy,

I wanna make sure that the good,

hardworking citizens of
Monstropolis have power.

It's monsters like that
who keep this city running.

And we keep them running,

with reliable, proven Scream Energy.

- CROWD: Johnny! Johnny!
- But I don't wanna focus on what they're doing.

I wanna focus on what we're doing.

FearCo is taking what already works

and is making it better.

Over this way, our scientists
will show you a glimpse

of our new Scream amplifier
that will change everything.

- MONSTER: Ooh.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, sorry, big guy.

Press only.

[SCREAMING] Argh!

MONSTER: Nice, man! My ears are ringing.

You see that angle I took in there?

Ha-ha-ha!

Yeah, easy as pie.

- Ha-ha!
- And by pi, I mean 3.1415926.

Hey, look who decided
to come see how it's done.

Scaring was too hard, so he had
to quit and become... a jester.

Jokester. I'm a jokester.

Oh, "I'm a jokester".

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- "I'm a jokester".

Scream king to court jester.

- Good one, Evan.
- Court jester.

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- Court jester!

Loser!

[ROARS]

[GLASS BREAKING]

- Whoa! Give me three, man.
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]

- Great job.
- Thanks.

- [ALL CHEERING]
- TYLOR: Oh, oh, yeah, thanks.

Thank you.

Whoa.

- Boo!
- [SCREAMING]

ANNOUNCER: Attention all CREEPers!

The Monsters, Inc. presentation

on Laugh Power will
be starting momentarily.

Oh, no, I'm gonna miss it.

MONSTER: Move over!

MIKE: Mike check, mike check.

Michael Wazowski takes checks.

Ooh! Is it hot in here? It feels hot.

Says the guy covered in fur.

Since when were you nervous
about public speaking?

Well, normally, it doesn't bother me,

but it's just this is our big chance

to show off Laugh Power
and I don't want to blow it.

Please don't start shedding again.

[PANTING]

Oh, good. It didn't start yet.

Aw. Did you come here
to bask in the glory

of my illustrious city model?

Oh, you mean the one your mommy built?

I helped! She let me hold the glue.

Okay, let's see here.
Please join me in giving

a very scary welcome to Monsters, Inc.

[WEAK APPLAUSE]

MIKE: Thank you.

And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.

Heh. Seems like
it's a good time to start.

Right, Sulley? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Right, Sulley?

Ahem. That's me.

Thank you for coming
to our presentation.

And that concludes our presentation.

Thank you for coming.

[GASPS]

I think these are in the wrong order.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

Good one, Sulley! Classic
notecard mix-em-up.

One of the many laugh techniques
we use over at Monsters, Inc.

Hi, I'm Mike Wazowski, senior
co-president and chief executive,

vice-deputy administrative director
of comedy resources management.

Which is what it says
on my parking spot.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

[CLEARS THROAT]

And this is...

Hmm? Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
I'm James P. Sullivan, CEO.

And we're here to give you a little
peek at how great Laugh Power is.

Oh, hey, they're using my canister.

[GAUGE FLICKERING]

Hey, Smitty, is it normal for
the gauge to flicker like that?

I've never seen a canister do that.

Ooh. Except that one time.

Oh, yeah, that one time.

What one time?

Well, one time...

That one time...

Before we switched over to
the new big laugh canisters.

- Okay.
- Someone didn't clean out

the old Scream canisters properly...

Yeah, and some of it got
mixed in with Laugh Power.

Yeah, and?

Wait. Who's someone? Do I know them?

And then what happened?

It did what that canister is
doing. Yeah, right before...

Is "someone" me?

Yes, it's you. Okay.

What happened when you mixed
Laugh Power with Scream Power?

- BOTH: Boom!
- Oh, no. Hmm, huh...

MIKE: And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.

Ladies and gentle monsters,

this is a model of Monstropolis.

DUNCAN: To scale!

And we're gonna use it to
show you that Laugh Power

is 10 times more powerful than Screams.

First, we'll show you
what a small amount

of Scream Power will do.

- Push the button, Sulley.
- Oh, right.

[BUBBLING]

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

[WEAK APPLAUSE]

And now we'll show you what
the exact same amount

of Laugh Power can do.

Hey, hey, hey, what do you
think you're doing?

We can't use that laugh canister.

You keep your tiny hands
off of my MOMstropolis.

Why is everything about your mother?

[BUBBLING FASTER]

[CROWD GASPING]

Oh, my.

Too bright.

[STRANGE NOISES AND BEEPS]

DUNCAN: You just can't shove your way...

[DUNCAN EXCLAIMING]

- [GRUNTING]
- [SCREAMING]

[DUNCAN SCREAMS]

[CROWD EXCLAIMS]

We did just say you were getting a peek

at Laugh Power, huh? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Right, Sulley?

SULLEY: Um...

Um, um... Well...

[SIGHS] You know what?

Enough of this rehearsed stuff.

Let's just have a conversation.
Who's got questions?

CROWD: I do! I do!

Listen, you'll pay for this, Tuskmon!

[SCREAMING] Oh, no!

- Got you!
- [CLANGING]

[CLANGING]

All right. What did I miss?

[SCREAMING]

Hey! Whoa! Rude!

[DUNCAN SCREAMING]

Sorry.

Hey, Tylor. There you are.
Wait up! Where have you been?

I've been at the booth
alone this whole time.

- [BUBBLING]
- What was that noise?

Oh, um, tummy issues.

Is this because of what that jerk said?

About seeing you at the MU game?

MONSTER: Rude!

- I'm a little busy right now, Val.
- Excuse you!

I have longer legs than you,
but you're really moving.

TYLOR: I... I just gotta get rid of
something bad before it's too late.

- [GLASS SHATTERING]
- MONSTER: Watch it, buddy!

You know, when something's
really bothering me,

sometimes it builds up inside of me

in a really bad way,
grumbling to get out.

And I've found the best thing to do

is to find safe space
to release the pressure.

[GASPS] The pressure!

That's it! I need
to release the pressure.

You're a genius, Val.

Good luck. I hope it all comes out okay.

Excuse me. Sorry, uh... Pardon me.

Coming through!

Too much power! Too... too much power!

[SCREAMING] I'm spinning out of control!

- Too much power!
- Oh!

[SCREAMING] I'm too fit to die!

[GRUNTING]

[CLANGING]

Excuse me. Sorry. Bathroom emergency.

Gotta empty the t*nk. [LAUGHING]

No, no, no, no...

- [CLANGING]
- Oh, whoa...

- Mmm, mmm, mmm. Nope.
- TYLOR: Easy, big fella! Easy!

- [expl*si*n]
- Whoa! Whoa, boy! Oh, boy!

- [MECHANICAL LAUGHTER]
- Ah. Oh! Oh! Aah!

- [SQUEAKING]
- Oh, there it is! There it is.

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

Ahh! Whoo!

That was close. [CHUCKLES]
Don't go in there.

How's it going?

You, uh, enjoying the CREEP show?

Whoo!

[CLEARS THROAT]

Uh...

Oh!

[CLANGING]

- SULLEY: So...
- [GASPS]

Everyone did great work today,

and lots of monsters
were really engaged.

Except Mike and Celia, because
someone has commitment issues.

What are you, my mother?

[GASPS] Whoa!

Am I seeing stars or
are you just glowing?

Uh-huh. That's all me, baby.

ANNOUNCER: Attention, CREEPers,

we will be closing in 15 minutes.

So, all better?

Huh? Oh. Yes, loads.

[SNICKERS] I let it all out.

- Yeah, I heard.
- Great day.

Great day!

- Oops.
- [SQUEAKS]

[JOHNNY CLEARS THROAT]

I have never seen a roar break
our Scare Simulator like that.

Oh, yeah. No, I am so
sorry, Mr. Worthington.

[CHUCKLING] Oh, no! Don't apologize.

Turns out I was right
about your potential.

And remember, it's Johnny.

Stay in touch. Okay?

- Hey, what's that?
- [GASPS]

Oh, uh, it's... nothing.

But today was something.

I can't wait to come back next year.

[SCOFFS] Please don't.