08x03 - RuCo's Empire

[bunniefuu]

Hola, se?oritas.

The drag-apella movie,
"Bitch Perfect."

Now sissy that walk

Brava.

Chi Chi DeVayne,
condragulations,

you are the winner
of this week's challenge.

Shreveport, represent.

Dax ExclamationPoint,

Laila McQueen,

neither one of you survived
that lip sync.

Ooh, double whammy!
Bam bam.

Sashay away.

People come and go
so quickly here.

Honey, at this rate,
we gon' run out of lipstick.

Oh, my God.
Oh!

Is drag PTSD
even a thing?

Post-Traumatic
Sashay Disorder.

Bitch,
you better own it.

This is a wakeup call
for all of us.

If you ain't stepping
that p*ssy up,

your ass is going home.

So who do you guys think
that RuPaul called?

Her dealer.

I had to eliminate
two queens today.

How soon can you get here?

One queen who needs
to be redeemed

more than any queen
on the "Drag Race"

is Victoria "Pork Chop" Parker.

Question is
when Shangela returns,

what are we gonna do?

Hide.

I think we should all agree
that whoever the girl

that comes in,
we just ignore her

and treat her like poo.

Poo unto others as you would
have them poo unto you.

We have another bitch
coming into the competition?

Girl, this is
some bullshit.

And this is a new episode of
"RuPaul's Drag Race: RuVealed."

Tonight, get ready
for some prime time drama.

Is somebody
coming back?

Are two more people
getting chopped?

It's like a soap opera
up in here.

Funny you should
say that.

Guest judges
"Empire's" Tasha Smith

and the legendary
Faith Evans!

RuPaul's Drag Race

May the best woman,
best woman win

Work.
Work.

It's a brand-new day!

We've survived.

Ooh, girl.
We're gonna find out now.

She done already
done had herses.

To be America's
next drag superstar,

you don't need
to be humble.

Agreed.

But if you trip or stumble,

well, honey, that's just
the way that cookie crumbles.

Cookie?
Is this a baking challenge?

Hello, hello, hello.

Wow!
This is the outfit.

Why, thank you.

It is
a Klein Epstein & Parker suit.

They're made to measure.

Oh!
Shameless.

When the Supreme Court
legalized same sex marriage,

they moved this country
boldly forward.

But when it comes
to their sense of style,

the justices are,
like, so 18th century.

Yeah.

Oh, Pit Crew!

Whoo!
Oh!

Now for today's
mini challenge,

I want you to drag up
these basic black robes.

Think Judge Judy Couture.

We'll take a 30-minute recess,

and then, the Supreme Court
Fashion Show will be in session.

Go!

Ah!

Who's down with RBG?

Yeah, you know me.

Absolute garbage,
and I love it.

Ladies!
Time's up.

Category is,
Supreme Court Realness.

Order in the courtroom,
hunty!

Bob The Drag Queen.

She received
her law degree online

from the Tyler Perry "I Can
Learn Law All By Myself" school.

Viola Davis is Clarence Thomas.

Naomi Smalls

from the law firm
of Evangelista and Fangs.

She almost got disbarred

for excessive mouth pops.

That was only one.

Justice Derrick Barry.

She was inspired to study law

after sneaking into a matinee
of "Legally Blonde."

Oh!

Oh, and then my wig come off.

Objection.

All rise
for Supreme Court Justice

Cynthia Lee Fontaine,
AKA Cuckoo Freedom.

I love her but she ain't right
in the head.

She made herstory
with her landmark verdict

for legalizing sex.

Really, Judge?

I think it was funny.

Supreme Court Justice
Acid Betty.

She believes
in every citizen's right

to go fisting.

You do you, girl.

"Go fishing."

Supreme Court Justice
Robbie Turner.

If Justice Turner
had her way,

she'd outlaw
ex-boyfriend Donald Tr*mp.

I second that emotion.

All rise
for Supreme Court Justice

Kim Chi.

She got her start at the law
firm of Ching Chang & Chong.

I did not write these.

Do not send me letters.

Sorry about it.

Supreme Court Justice
Thorgy Thor.

She made herstory
legalizing the right

to stop traffic
and tap-dance.

All rise
for Supreme Court Justice

Chi Chi DeVayne.

She made herstory
with her landmark verdict

legalizing ass clapping.

Judge Hatchett,
meet Judge Ratchet.

Yes, Your Honor, yes.

If justice is blind,
that bitch is missing out.

The winner is...

Naomi Smalls.

Yes, baby.
Fashion rules.

And I'll be posting
all of these supreme looks

Ladies, last week's
double elimination

left a void
that I've decided to fill

with the one and only...

Jiggly Caliente!

b*tches, I'm back!

Naysha Lopez.

Oh, my God,
it's Naysha!

She's back on the competition.

Naysha should have walked in
with her luggage

and just kept on walking.

Bye, girl.

Naysha, you're getting
a second chance.

So don't f*ck it up.
Okay.

Now, for this week's
maxi challenge,

you'll be overacting
in a pilot for my new TV series,

"RuCo's Empire."

#DragEmpire

Whoo!

That's right,
RuRu kitty girls.

It's cookie time.

Whoo!
I love it!

Naomi Smalls,
you won the mini challenge,

so you're a team captain.

And Naysha Lopez,
as a welcome back gift,

you're a team captain too.

I'm not trying to f*ck up
my second chance,

so let's do this.

Naomi,
you get first pick.

I choose Robbie Turner.
All right.

Naysha.

Derrick Barry.
Yay!

Bob The Drag Queen.
Whoo!

Thorgy.
Yes!

Awesome.
Whoo!

Chi Chi.
Whoo.

Kim Chi.
Yeah!

Well, that leaves Acid Betty
and "Santee Alley" Fontaine.

When Cynthia Lee
says her own name,

my ear hears
"Santee Alley,"

which is a shopping district
in downtown Los Angeles.

You are on Naysha's team.

f*ck.

Just kidding.

Gentlemen,
start your engines.

And may
the smartest cookie win.

Okay, so let's go through
all of them real quick.

"Ginger Snap,
classic militant activist."

She's intense, so you want
to take that role?

Uh...

Derrick's playing
this militant lesbian.

Really?

"Chocolate Chip Cookie,
the over-the-top super diva.

She's got major attitude
and blingy style."

I will feel comfortable

with Chocolate Chip Cookie,
personally.

There's a lot of words
in this.

Did you look at the script?

That's right,
Chocolate Chip Cookie's back!

I did not understand at all
what you said.

And this gonna be my chance

to win back Rucious for good!

Why are you talking up here
like that?

Think the other team
should be worried

because they have a lot of girls
that are just like...

not black.

Y'all ain't getting nuttin'
past Chi Chi.

Coming up...

Action.

I'm here to get
what's mine.

Bitch!
You couldn't even make bail.

I'm a strong gay woman!

Okay.

"Oh-ker"?
We'll be right back.

We're back.
Lights, camera, slap him.

"You double-crossing b*tches."

For today's challenge,

we have to perform in scenes
inspired by the show, "Empire."

It's got drama.
It's got Cookie.

I mean,
this is a dream come true.

"Maybe it was a lil'
somethin'-somethin' extra

I put in the drink."

I've never seen "Empire," but
Cookie sounds like a handful.

And Bob is a f*cking handful,

so it's just a match
made in heaven.

One thing I would say,

make it, like
a "Or maybe..."

Let's do it again.
'Cause it got lost.

Robbie,
she's a trained actress

and she's giving us
all these tips.

Like, this whole thing,
and then be like,

"Stand back, b*tches!"

We're definitely
gonna win this challenge.

"What you want?

Oh, hello, Rucious's doctor."

It's Rucious's doctor.

This is one stale-ass
Chocolate Chip Cookie.

Just an observation
that I'm just making,

Thorgy and...
Kim Chi switch.

Okay, give her
the CableACE Award.

I would love to.
Yeah, super diva.

This is gonna be so good.
I really want to do this.

"Oh, you better think again,
RuRu kitty.

That's right;
Chocolate Chip Cookie is back."

"Did I hear my name?"

It sounded
like Bob was doing...

Of course.
Yeah.

We're gonna be up
against each other.

What part did you pick, Bob?

Chocolate Chip Cookie.

Of course
both myself and Bob

are playing
Chocolate Chip Cookie parts,

and we're gonna be compared.

Okay, New York.
it's like a subway series

with cookies.

"I am not worried
about that."

"Well, where the hell
is Rucious? Rucious!"

There's a fire under my ass.

Ooh!

And I really, really f*cking
want to win the challenge.

Welcome to my home.

All right.
Team Naysha.

It's time to sh**t the scene,

and everyone's feeling
a little nervous.

Welcome to our beautiful set,

furnished by our friends
at Rrivre Works.

And say hello
to my co-director.

Grammy award-winning
First Lady of hip-hop,

Faith Evans is here.

'Cause you gotta have faith.

What's up?

Mm-hmm.

All right, places,
people, places.

It takes a village, people.

Village People?
Is the cop here?

And...
Action.

I'm here to get what's mine.

No, you're not.
Yes, she is.

Who are you?

Stop interrupting me.

Acting!

You all need to chill.

The big RuCo white party
is coming up.

And cut.

Kim Chi,
I need to see more of this.

I need to see this.

We smack a lot
when we ratchet.

All right.

Girl.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

What she said.

Like this.

Um...yeah.

Let's try that again.

Listen, Ho Ho!

Chocolate Chip Cookie's
supposed to be in jail!

That was much better.

And action.

I'm gonna make you a star.

Bitch, you couldn't
even make bail.

Ooh...

But I can whoop yo' ass.

I believe her.

Nobody wants a bitch who
gets kicked off to come back,

so I was glad to b*at
the sh*t out of her

with this dirty broom.

Live your truth, girl.

The White party is the time
for me to tell the whole world,

it's okay to be gay.

Cut.

Derrick, I'm losing you
in that moment.

I know--you're not sort of
connecting with anyone.

Just make sure
that you command the room.

Okay.

The White Party is the time
for me to tell the whole world,

that it's okay--

It's okay to be gay.

What the hell
is Derrick doing?

She's lost in an afro.

She's not funny.

Come on, Britney.
Step it up.

Team Naomi.

This team actually has
black people.

Crazy!

Hi, ladies.

This Notorious B.I.G.'s wife.

I got my drag name
from Biggie Smalls,

so I'm f*cking freaking out.

It's "Smalls in the Family."

Lived this life,

so if you have
any questions for her

in terms of character
or inspiration...

What's the best hand
to slap a hoe with,

like, the left or the right?

Best question of the season
so far.

All right, so places,
people, places.

Action.

Now where the hell is Rucious?
Rucious!

Rucious probably smelled you
and went runnin'.

Well, then why
did I waste my time

puttin' on this?
Ooh!

Bam!

Why you all gaggin'?

I bring it to you
every episode.

Cut.

You say this is
an over-acting challenge,

I'm like,

You ain't gotta tell me twice.

Action.

Yo, yo, yo,
hallelu, hallelu

My name's Shortbread,
that's my girl, Macaroon

And that's why they need
a strong woman on this company.

Cut.

Miss Cynthia Lee, you just
left out the word "gay,"

when you said this company needs
a strong, gay woman.

Strong, gay woman.

Yes, because that's--
that's the joke.

Okay, let's try that again.

This company need
a gay, strong woman.

Wait, cut.

The line is,
"A strong, gay woman."

"Strong, gay woman."

I'm a strong, gay woman!

Cynthia's Ginger Snap
is hilarious

for all the wrong reasons.

I don't even know if she knows
what she's saying.

All right.
Let's move on.

That and how to shoplift.

Empty your pockets,
please, ma'am.

f*ck line.

Robbie, differentiate
those voices,

so that we know
it's two different people.

Do want it, like,
satanic or something?

Um, not today, Satan.

Just make them different.
Okay.

That and how to shoplift.

Please, sir, empty your--

Please ma'am,
will you empty your pocketbook?

Ah!

Robbie is really
screwing it up.

You're the one
I was most confident in.

We're gonna have to work
with what we have.

We could end up losing this
because of Robbie's mistakes.

Coming up...

The girls are gonna do
a runway in roller skates.

I've never skated before.
Really?

This is a mess
I can't wait to see.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.
Whoa, whoa.

Be right back.

We're back.

Let's get this main stage
rolling, honey.

For the first time
in drag herstory,

the girls are gonna do
a runway in roller skates.

Finally, a legit use
for my kneepads.

So anybody nervous
about skating?

I've never skated before.

Ru?

Ever.

So since I can't skate,
I have this idea,

like, maybe I can, like,
turn into a car

to, like, mask it.

Do you have, like,
wheels for your arms and stuff?

Oh, I have to make
my wheels, so.

You have to make wheels?
Yeah.

So he plans on falling
and what,

crawling across the stage
like a Transformer?

What?
Word, Decepticon, yes!

How you feelin', Robbie?

I feel...actually...
better.

Girl, I'm the disco rockin' diva
of the roller rink.

And my hope is that
my runway look redeems me

from that horrible performance
in the acting challenge.

I'm actually wearing my mom's
vintage sunglasses,

which I'm really excited about.

My parents were
straight-up hippies.

I would love,
love to meet your parents.

My mom, uh, passed away

when I was 19.

What happened?
She had cancer.

I was at college,
like, having a blast,

and, like, I would always call
and be like,

"How's everything?"
It was always fine.

But it wasn't.

And I finally got a call
from my dad being like,

"You know, you should probably
really come home."

When I went home, I mean,
she was not the--

She was not a person.
She...

She wasn't there.

I wish they were just a little
bit more honest with me,

'cause when I got home,
she d*ed that day.

Oh, my God!

She was a skeleton
in a hospital bed.

I didn't really get
a good-bye.

And I kinda feel like
that was taken from me.

And I'm very angry about it,

but I don't know
where to put that anger.

It comes out of love for my dad,
he's like,

"I just don't want to, like,
interrupt your life and ruin--

Like, I want better things
for you."

And I'm like, I get that...

And my parents wanted
to protect me," yeah.

But things like that,
like,

I didn't get to say
good-bye to her.

She didn't want
to make my dad and my sister

feel, like, terrible,
but...

How come they didn't, like,
tell me to come home?

I will never forget that day.

I guess that's why
I talk about things so much.

Just get it over with.
That's a great idea.

Keep doing that.

Honey, we are here
to listen.

We got you.
Now, let's hit the stage.

Honey, y'all are not
ready for this.

Cover girl
Yeah!

Put the bass in your walk

Don't be jealous
of my roller boogie.

Let your whole body talk

And what?

Yeah!

Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Michelle Visage, thanks
for helping me build my empire.

How was prison?

Fashion superstar
Carson Kressley,

what's your favorite cookie?

I like those Samoans.
It's a Samoa.

Oh, is it a Samoa?
Samoan is a person.

Mmm, mmm, delicious.

From the hit shows,
"Empire" and "Power,"

my acting class pal,
Tasha Smith is here.

Hey, baby!
Hey!

And the legendary Faith Evans.

Hey, Ru.

Were you mesmerized
by my girls?

Oh, my, was I.

This week,
we challenged our queens

to act up a storm
in "RuCo's Empire."

Tonight, for the first time
in drag race herstory,

category is
Roller Girl Realness.

I'm ready.

Gentlemen,
start your roller skates.

And may the best woman win!

Get ready for some
moving violations.

Queens on wheels.

AKA "wheelness."

You're giving us
Tamar Braxton.

And Adrienne Bailon.
Mm-hmm.

I'm giving you "Xanadu"
realness, boo.

Next thing you know--
Oop!

Oh, yes, she "Xana-did."

If they show me falling as
my runway, I'm gonna be furious.

Don't worry,
we had a medic on hand.

We're not totally evil
around here.

Thorgy Thor.

She's giving
very "Three's Company."

Come and knock on her door.

I'm super comfortable
on these roller skates.

This is one of
the first looks I ever did,

like, this is classic Thorgy.

Hey, good-lookin'.

Be back to pick you up later.

Call me on the party line.

Is this a three-way?

Derrick Barry.
Very Skaty Perry.

I love my outfit.

I feel like I'm giving them
pop Princess Peach.

It's different from anything
that I've worn before.

Oh!

That's a bubble butt
if I ever seen one.

Kim Chi.
Toucan!

Look at the size
of that cockatoo.

The entire ensemble is
inspired by John Galliano.

It's a contrast between nude

and all the colors
that are in a parrot.

Yes, honey,
you better sissy that macaw.

Acid Betty.
"Beyond Thunderdome."

Punk unicorn realness.

I am a bitch on wheels
times ten.

I'm reliving my childhood
in the '80s, honey.

Don't turn your back on me.

Mad Maxi Pad.
Whoa.

Naomi Smalls.
Classic beauty.

She is like a flamingo.
Yes.

I'm wearing
a pretty in pink bedroom scene.

My outfit
is so not roller girl,

but I'm pulling it off.

Michelle, what's the hardest
part of roller skating?

Mm.

Telling your mother
that you're gay.

It's funny 'cause it's true.

See you later,
roller skater.

Bob The Drag Queen.

Not to be confused with
Bob The High School Counselor.

I didn't have enough time to
finish this Transformer outfit,

so I do my backup plan.

I'm like "Tron,"
robot-inspired character.

She's a ro--oh, yes girl.
Uh-oh. Be careful.

And I'm just like,
try to move

offstage without
breaking a limb.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa.
Whoa, whoa.

Nice save.

She's like a Roomba!

Don't go too fast now, girl.
Okay, slow down, girl.

Don't go too fast.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, work it!

Cynthia Lee Fontaine.

She's a little bit country.

It's Barbara Mandrell
on wheels.

I love my runway look.

It's like Farrah Fawcett

meets with Olivia Newton John
in Texas.

Uh, okay.

I feel like the goddesses
of roller blades.

If she falls,
there will be a hoe down.

There will be.

Chi Chi DeVayne
from Louisiana.

Yeah, this had
a roller street part.

Yes!
She got tricks.

I'm a disco queen, honey.

Funky, tight roller girl.
This is me.

She's got that hair
snatched back in a afro puff.

Ooh, a little
backwards skating.

Yeah, back rolls.

Up next, Robbie "Turnter."

Oh, lord!
All right!

Uh-oh!

I am roller girl realness
personified.

It's got my initials on my ass
and a little star booty.

Ooh, I like her.

My Aunt Diana's hair.
I scalped her in, like, 1975.

It's like a rhinestone
roller girl.

Yes.
Mmm.

Coming up...

Taraji is going to die.

Lee Daniels is going to die.

Yes!

We'll be right back.

Hey, cookie girls,

I hope you're hungry
for some diva drama.

I'm "wheely, wheely" impressed.

Now it's time
to view your scenes.

First up, Team Naysha.

I swear I've seen this show
before.

Y'all here today

because yo' daddy,
Rucious Charles,

the head
of the Rooker Rackers Empire,

has a message for all of y'all.

Hey, cookie girls.

Aw, damn.
I'm dying.

And I gotta figure out
which one of you b*tches

gon' get my empire.

Will it be my beautiful
Halle Berry wannabe girlfriend,

Vanilla Wafer?

My brilliant daughter
with multiple degrees

and multiple personalities,
Macaroon?

Macaroon!

Who thinks
she's sittin' on a secret,

Ginger Snap?

My hood rat baby girl,

Shortbread?

Or will it all go
to my sassy ex-wife,

Chocolate Chip Cookie?

What?

But Chocolate Chip Cookie's
supposed to be in jail!

Ooh!

You better think again,
RuRu kitty.

That's right.

Chocolate Chip Cookie's back!

Get off of me.

And I'm here
to take what's mine,

now get this orange sh*t
off my body.

Ex-squeeze me?

I'm in charge of this company.

Oh, bougie bitch,
please!

I should be running this empire.

Who asked you?

I did?

No, I didn't!

Yo, cray-cray.
I got this.

Rock-a-ta-ta
ta-ta-ta-ta-ta

Rock-a-ta-ta
ta-ta-ta-ta-ta

I'ma rap
Ooh!

My baby's got talent.

And that's for not visiting me
in prison, bitch.

Stop!

It's time I get something
off my chest.

This is my day
I was born this way

And my biggest secret is

I'm proud to be

Gay.
We know.

But damn, my little baby's
got a voice.

Yeah.
I'm gonna make you a star.

Bitch,
you couldn't even post bail.

No...

but I can whoop yo ass
with this!

This is harder on me
than it is for you guys.

No, it's not!
Ow!

Dang, she commits.

Y'all need to chill!

The big White Record party's
comin' up,

and we need to show Rucious
that we are a family.

Oh, it's Rucious's doctor.

What?
Rucious is dead!

Oh, Rucious wants me
to give him head.

How is her head?

Be right there.

I will see each
and every one of you b*tches

at the White party.

Yup, that scenery got chewed,
as in ate up.

Yes, "Empire" and "Dynasty,"
we're coming for you.

Team Naomi.

I can't wait to see
how this turns out.

Girls, at this
damn White party,

we're gonna act like a family.

I know y'all ain't starting
this white-ass party without me.

And why it gotta be white,
you know?

She do got a point.

Where's Rucious?
Rucious!

Rucious probably smelled you
and went runnin'.

Oh, well, then
why did I waste my time.

putting on this?

Oh, there's more.

This-a!

Why'd I waste my time
doin' that, bitch?

'Cause you's a crazy ass hoe.

Where'd you learn
to talk like that?

I learned it from you, bitch.

That's about the only thing
you taught us.

Yeah, that,
and how to shoplift.

Empty your pockets,
please, ma'am.

I didn't do it!

Mama told me to!

Well, well.

This is nice,
but let's have a drink.

My thoughts exactly.

Before we drink,
we say grace.

Now can I get
a "Amen, hallelu"?

Yo, yo, yo,
hallelu, hallelu

My name's Shortbread,
that's my girl, Macaroon

Eat these cookie now

Whatcha want do

And drink this milk, bitch

You know you want to

All right,
I knew you had it, baby!

Yes!
I knew you had it.

Stop oppressing me!
Okay.

I am sickening

I am gorgeous

I'm a strong, gay woman!

Bitch, we're all gay.

I'm not gay.

Yes, you are.

That one time
in college doesn't count.

My baby.

Jeez!

Girl, you better step
your medications up.

Wow, you really all are crazy.

That's why I'm secretly
plotting to go work

for our rival company,

Lady Bunny Death Hoe Records.

Oh, no, she didn't.

You fake-ass
Dominique Deveraux wannabe!

Oh, my God.

Oh! Taste it, bitch.
Expensive vodka.

Stand back, b*tches.

Bring it, bitch.

You lucky
my pre-paid phone ringin'.

I woulda whooped
your little skinny ass.

Who dis?

It's Rucious' doctor, y'all.

Hello, Rucious's doctor.

Wait, what?

Rucious's...

severely deadly illness is...

contagious?

Oh!

Oh!
It's because I'm gay?

Isn't it?

Peace.

Did anyone else notice
that these queens always die

at the end of these
acting challenges?

Oh...

I guess whatever Rucious had,
it really was sickening.

Or maybe it was just
a lil' extra somethin-somethin

I put in the cocktails.

Oh, you thirsty, bitch?

Whoo!

I'ma take this m*therf*cker.
Gimme the shoe, bitch.

She is just making this up
as she goes along.

Oh!
Look at all this money.

He ain't got
no m*therf*cking backup.

Is the train still runnin'?

Wow.

Well, there you have it,
ladies.

And all based on actual events.

Ladies, this week
you acted in teams.

but tonight,
you'll be judged individually.

Plot twist!

Coming up...

I don't know what you were
saying, but I didn't care.

I think you were
very convincing as a schizo.

Show me that you do have soul.

The draggety drama continues
right after this.

Judges gon' judge
and skaters gon' skate.

Here we go.

When I call your names,
please roll forward.

Naomi Smalls.

Kim Chi.

Naysha Lopez.

Chi Chi DeVayne.

Ladies, you are safe.

You may leave the stage.

And please don't
k*ll yourselves.

The rest of you represent
the high rollers

and the low rollers
of the week.

Feelin' lucky?

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.

Starting with Thorgy Thor.

Your roller girl look--
You're giving me '70s.

You had the big blonde 'fro.

Not the most wildly inventive.
Okay.

Now I'm gonna go
to your performance,

which was so good.

Nailed it!

Your choreography was
meticulously done.

Yes!

I'm so proud of you.
Great job.

Next up, Derrick Barry.

I like this whole, like,

Jeremy Scott for Katy Perry
kind of thing.

You are doing a great job
with trying

to give us something
other than Britney.

But I feel like
you're coming out

and these clothes
are wearing you.

With your performance,

the personality of the character
didn't really connect.

It was too laid back.

I'd love to see you show me
that you do have soul,

so what you need
to get to work on

is giving us your soul.

At least she's "purty."

Next up, Acid Betty.

Your performance,

I felt like you gave me
the "Sybil" multiple personality

with a little bit
of Carol Burnett goin' on.

I think you were
very convincing as a schizo.

This look tonight,
it's getting kinda predictable.

I'd love to see something
way different.

Another challenge, Michelle.
I f*cking love challenges.

Be you but don't be you.
Give us less but more.

Mm-hmm, what he said.

All right, next up,
Bob The Drag Queen.

I love this look.

You did this Glamazon girl
from "Tron."

Tin Man, I have to say,
needs some lubricant.

Halle-lube!

Now let's get
to the performance.

Everything about it
was on point.

That ad libs were
really, really good.

Taraji is going to die.

Lee Daniels is going to die.

Shantay, you slay.

Cynthia Lee Fontaine.

Cynthia.

You have a great body with
a shirt that's like a formal

with a formal necklace
and formal earrings,

then you have, like, Hooters
shorts that don't fit at all.

It's so discombobulated.

The "Empire" scene, I don't
know what you were saying,

but I didn't care.

There were some nuances
that were missed.

What did you think,
watching yourself in the scene?

I love it.

It was really good.

It was really good.

Aw, she's like a puppy.
Can we keep her?

Thank you very much.

All right, next,
Robbie "Turnter."

I do love the jumpsuit.

But what's bothering me
is all the silver accoutrements

and then a gold necklace.

I would lose the necklace.

Um, when we were workin'
on that scene,

Ru was directing you

to kinda get into
the two different voices.

I don't think
you stuck with that.

It was kinda like
I didn't have a moment

to, like, break
and think of your notes

before we moved on
to another note

and also remember where
the blocking for the camera was

because I can't see
very far.

When we originally read it,
I was Vanilla Wafer.

And it--we did change it.

Did that hurt you,
you think?

I think it did hurt me,
and I didn't speak up

even though I was
feeling it,

and so for the betterment
of the team, I was like--

You can't allow yourself
to be a victim

and use the excuse
of, "I was being nice."

It's a competition.

Whoo!
Break it down, Tasha.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck
backstage,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, now just
between us squirrel friends,

what do you think?

Thorgy Thor.

Her Chocolate Chip Cookie
k*lled it.

It's safe to say that,
uh, her Chocolate Chip Cookie

was baked in a lovin' oven.

Mmm, cozy.

It brings all the boys
to the yard.

Yeah!

That's a milkshake.
Oh.

Keep up, whitey.

Derrick Barry.

She goes from Britney Spears
to Katy Perry.

I'm still waiting
to find Derrick Barry.

I thought the runway
was really cute.

But in the scene,
Ginger Snap got lost to me.

I've seen her perform
as Britney Spears.

She puts her whole self into it,

and that's what she
needed to do in this challenge.

Acid Betty.

I think she did look
like a roller warrior,

but I could probably
do without the Mohawk.

In this role,
she looks like

she's one french fry short
of a Happy Meal straight away.

And that's a good thing,
right?

It's not easy to improv,

but also stay focused
on the scene.

I am feelin' her swag.

She has charisma and it allows
her to sell absolutely anything.

This Tron jumpsuit
is so basic,

and I found myself goin',
"Oh, my God, I love it so much."

Her Tron was on.

Cynthia Lee Fontaine.

Bless her cotton socks
with that runway outfit.

Oh! Oh!
They were Fruit of the Loom.

I just felt like she didn't
commit to the role that she had,

as sweet as she is,

but what's sweet
got to do with it?

All right, Ike Turner.
Okay?

Oh, no, she just did not.

You had given
a lot of direction,

but Robbie
did not really get it.

But I love that jumpsuit.

I would wear the hell
out of that jumpsuit.

I love it.

Silence!
I've made my decision.

Bring back my roller girls.

"Wheels" be right back.

Who's skating to victory?
Who's on thin ice? Let's watch.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Thorgy Thor.

You're safe.

Bob The Drag Queen.

Condragulations,
you're the winner

of this week's challenge.

Yes, honey,
she is one smart cookie.

Get it?

You've one $3,500
of innovative eyewear

from Bradley Kenneth.

Wow!

Ah!

Now all the other girls
can see what I can do.

I feel like everyone knows
I'm a girl to b*at.

And avoid
when she's on wheels.

Acid Betty.

You're safe.
Thank you, Mama.

Cynthia Lee Fontaine,

your Ginger Snap was loca,

but the judges were not crazy
about your roller girl.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are
up for elimination.

Aw, chica.

Robbie Turner,

your Macaroon
was not coconut-y enough.

Derrick Barry,

your Ginger Snap
did not snap, crackle, or pop.

Girl.

Robbie Turner,
I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are
up for elimination.

Ooh! Dang it!

Derrick Barry,
you are safe, but...

you better work, bitch.

You want a Maserati?

Cynthia Lee,
Robbie,

now it's your choice.

Do you want to lip sync
in heels or wheels?

Heels.

Wheels.

Grilled cheeses.
Take the wheels.

Two queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight,

you were asked to prepare
a lip sync performance

of "Mesmerized"
by Faith Evans.

Ladies,
this is your last chance

to impress me
and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come...

For you to lip sync...

for your life.

I deserve to be here.

I'm not going.

Good luck

and don't f*ck it up.

You ever heard
about that thing?

I mean that real thing?

You don't know

What you do to me,
do to me

Let me tell you

How ya make me feel

My heart is on fire since
you put that thang on me

Oh-oh

You put that thang on me,
baby

I'm the star right now.

Everybody is mesmerized
about my cuckoo and my dance.

Koo koo kachoo.

Baby, I'm spellbound

I'm floating on cloud nine

I can't even sleep

Boy, you got me weak

My heart is on fire

See, now, that's why
we can't have nice things.

Am I the first girl
that's ever

broken a light
on the runway?

I'm gonna say yes.

You don't know

What you do to me,
do to me

Let me tell you

Cynthia's serving us,
but Robbie's on wheels!

Ah!
I don't know!

My heart is on fire since
you put that thang on me

Oh-oh

Yeah!
Whoo!

Yes, bitch, work.

Ladies,
I've made my decision.

Robbie Turner...

shantay, you stay.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Cynthia Lee Fontaine,

Puerto Rico, Austin,

Santee Alley,
and now the world.

Keep spreading your cuckoo.

Words to live by.

Now, sashay away.

I love you.
Thank you.

Thank you.

Whoo!

Thank you.
Love you.

See you soon, mis amores!

Ciao, muchacha.

I feel sad,
but, at the same time,

I don't have any regrets.

I would like
to encourage everybody,

don't stop believing.

Even if you are the only one
that believes in yourself.

This is Cynthia Lee Fontaine,
#MisAmoresCuckoo.

Condragulations,
my queens.

Why'd she take
her skirt off?

If you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?

Can I get a Amen up here?

both: Amen!

All right,
now let the music play.

Dance for life

Die tomorrow,
live tonight

Die tomorrow

Thanks for watching,
roller squirrels.

Next week the tide is high,
'cause Blondie is here.

Is the train still running?