05x05 - Cool Beans

[bunniefuu]

-Previously on Below Deck…
-You drink much?

No, I'm actually trying to…

-Cut it back?
-Hopefully.

Get a little booze in Matt,

and you'll see his true colors.

-You know who's really cute,
-Who?

Bri. F---, I want to bang her.

I thought you were gonna tell me

to put that away and put this down.

She sucks at her job, but she's hilarious.

Let's go. Let's get that stern line off.

Watch your bow! Watch your bow!

-Watch your bow! [bang]
-God damn it!

I can promise you
there's gonna be a change

in the configuration of this crew.

We're just gonna go party our ass off,

because this might be
our last night together.

-I'd love to take you on a date.
-Okay.

You're very handsom.

You really are beautiful, though.

Goodnight everyone.

Good night.

[horn blares]

[upbeat music]

♪♪

[upbeat pop music]

♪♪

I got beer all over my jeans yesterday.

[sighs]

Dang.

How come I'm the only one on this boat

that gets hangovers?

Work through it, man.

[sighs]

I like getting f---ed up, going out,

and having fun, but I have no problem

waking up the next day and working hard.

Signal.

What's your perfect breakfast, Bri?

I don't know. Just, like, eggs.

Well, I can make an omelet.
Do you want an omelet?

-F---, okay.
-I'll make it a perfect omelet.

This afternoon, I was wondering

if you'd be interested in
a little boat ride somewhere.

With who?

[music winds down]

With me and you.

I don't know what your plans are,

but it'd be fun.

Oh.

I did ask you on a date last night.

So I need eggs at the room.

Do you want to put that in the dishwasher?

-Sure.
-Just put it in here.

-Okay.
-Okay, great.

Matt's handsome, for sure.

I don't think he's my type,

but how do you really know

until you go on a beach picnic with him?

♪♪

-Hi.
- Hey.

-You look nice.
-Thanks.

What did you do last night?

Did you get drunk?

Yeah, I got a little bit f---ed up.

Last night was a very close call with Bri.

I need to kind of check myself right now,

because I can do something
really stupid pretty fast.

I love you. Bye.

For real, though, I am so tired.

Captain.

See, now, this is the stuff
that amazes me.

He just dried off that pedestal,

and now they're gonna rinse,

and they haven't scrubbed
the rest of the deck.

Quite frankly,

I just gave up
on this deck crew completely.

Captain says we're gonna
reconfigure the deck team.

There's so many mixed thoughts
that I have.

Am I gonna get fired?
Am I gonna get promoted?

Are we gonna bring someone else in?

I don't know, but it's about time.

Think captain's just
blowing smoke up our ass?

-About what?
-Rearranging.

I don't know. What do you think?

I don't know.

As far as Chris,

why don't you just put your sunglasses on,

act like you're not hungover,

instead of notifying me
that you're hungover?

You seem a little more intense
this morning than usual.

No, it's just--
he already started me off wrong.

[laughs] He already pissed you off.

Boy, that's bad.

I've been fired, and it's kind of fun.

I can tell that Nico's

getting frustrated, and I get it.

Chris just really does not care.

But trust me when I tell you he will.

That's the old school coming out in me.

-corning, Kate.
-Morning.

How's it going?

We're just contemplating.

Contemplation isn't really good.

It's the solution that's good.

I'm definitely working on the solution.

Yeah.

Kate, Matt, Nico, I need you three

in the crew mess
for a preference sheet meeting.

-Hey, guys.
-Hi.

So we have Bradley and Summer Smith.

He's the CEO of Smith Family Homes,

luxury contracting company in Houston.

He's also a trained gourmet chef.

Doesn't say where he trained,

but food plays an important part, I guess.

They say doctors make the worst patients,

and chefs make the worst dinner guests,

so I've got my work cut out for me.

Their good friends Van and Melissa,

they're celebrating their
ten-year wedding anniversary

on this trip, and we're gonna do

some fireworks on a beach.

They want all the toys out
and a theme party, casino.

Beer: None. Liquor: None.

Oh.

Wow. They don't drink.

I don't think I've ever seen that before.

Gonna have to entertain them elsewise.

-Yeah.
-That's it, guys.

Thank you.

All right, 3:30.

-Get ready.
-Hi.

-Hi, Kate.
-Hey, Kate.

What's going on?

Am I allowed to go out on this
excursion with Matt?

Where you guys going?

Apparently, it's a surprise.

Some sandy beach.

Um…yeah. What time?

-3:30.
-3:30?

-Ish.
-Okay.

Then until then, I need you
to work, work, work.

Okay.

Let's get the liquor and the wine

and the mixers organized.

So you can go grab lunch,
but do it quickly.

Bri's leaving at 3:30 to go on her date.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Does that mean I get an extra-long break?

Or do I have to be sexually promiscuous

to get extra time off?

-Well…
-'Cause I can arrange that.

No, listen. Don't get upset.

You know, there are some times
you want to call your daughter.

Sometimes you take 20 minutes
to come back from break.

It's definitely not fair.

I've been working my ass off,

and I would assume Bri has as well,

but now she's getting
the entire afternoon off

while I'm left to continue working.

If you want some extra time
to do something special,

next time will be you.

You'll get a special something. I promise.

I don't want it.

Well, okay, fine.

Just get the wines done.

Yay, three Buds.

Oh, you're gonna chug it. Okay.

Right before the season,

I was going through some things
with my girlfriend.

We dated for, like, a year and a half.

But it just wasn't meshing well,

so I decided to cut it off.

This Bud's for you.

I haven't been on a date, a first date,

in a long time,

so I had a couple beers
to kind of ease the nerves.

[burps loudly]

You better sober up before you go, dude.

Matt's just, like, absolutely wasted.

[laughs] It's f---ing hilarious.

Yo!

You're hammered.

Getting ready for the excursion?

The excursion?

They're gonna go for a sunset thing.

Nico and I, we're both
attracted to each other,

but he has a girlfriend,

so I'm just gonna disregard last night.

I'm just gonna focus on the present.

I'm jealous.

Uh.

That's a horrible shirt.

I think Brianna needs a guy
who's, you know,

thoughtful, romantic,

a guy who can pack a picnic
with all her favorites.

Ugh! She's gonna love this.

That's me. That's who I am.

I'm focused on impressing Bri.

And maybe make it with her.

Whiskey, check.

-Coming?
-Are you guys going?

Have fun, you guys.

-We're gonna have a blast.
-Bye.


when she gets back.

[laughs]

Oh hey Bri.

-Hey, buddy.
-Yeah, after you.

-Thanks.
-How romantic.

-Have fun.
-Thank you.

Kinda like a "schwing" moment.

Matt's hanging out with Bri.

Good for him.

Somebody's got to do it if I can't.

This is, like, a f---ing epic first date.

-Thanks.
-You're very welcome.

[laughs]

Look at us, living the life.

-I love this.
-This is nice.

I just brought a couple favorites.

-Oh, wow.
-I know.

Whiskey on the rocks?

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

I'm Cinderella.

I'm the one left to do all this work.

I need some glass slippers,
maybe a prince.

I might be sexually frustrated.

Uh, maybe.

That's a yes.

That's a 100% yeah, mm-hmm.

-We're at a beach.
-This is awesome.

Oh, my God.

Here, go ahead.

[music winds down]

-Matt.
-Yes.

Oh, um…

I had no idea

this beach was a nude beach.

[laughs]

You brought me to a nude beach.

I brought you to the best nude beach.

-Okay, this is for us.
-Wow.

-Those are for you.
-Wow.

Do you notice I'm always
munching on these?

-Always. And pistachio.
-Oh my gosh!

Wow. You have everything.

I guess you are a chef.

He packed a picnic.

He arranged for a boat to pick us up.

It's a good start.

I consider myself very lucky
to be here with you. I dont--

-Me, too.
-Oh, really?

Yes, of course.

I don't take this for granted whatsoever.

-You want more?
-Yeah, f---ing please.

Do I want more? [laughs]

These are awesome.

I love the background.

We have his balls…

Of leathery skin.

I built this for you.

This is a representation of us.

It's called "Brianna Statue."

We could just buy a
mini van or an Airstream

and just f---ing travel the world

You move really fast.

Whoa. Uh, too soo--

Too soon.

Moving in a van really fast

or moving you and I very fast?

Like verbally, what you're saying.

Anyways, can I take my shirt off?

Why not?

I want to be them. They're, like, happy.

Yeah.

I'm jealous of their like free… Freedom.

I understand.

-You know what I mean?
-Yeah.

They're not restricted.

If I can hang out naked,

I mean, 'cause it's a nude beach--

You're more than welcome to be nude.

I know. I can.

Yeah, I think you would enjoy that.

Oh, my gosh.

Did you ever think about
how much we have in common?

Um…

Oh, God.

Coming up…

Are you a new crew or something?

Yes, I am.

A new crewmember has arrived.

What?

Did you ever think about
how much we have in common?

-Oh, God.
-Listen to me.

I really appreciate this.

Yeah, it's amazing.

-This is cool.
-Mm-hmm.

I don't want to make things awkward.

I'm just gonna m*rder "Brianna Statue."

Oh, please don't destroy it.

Someone did it, and it's kind of cute.

I'm hot.

This guy's obviously drunk.

It's probably the most awkward date

I've ever been on.

-How you feeling?
-Not good.

-Are you full?
-You're a horrible date.

So this is a horrible date?

Yeah. You're an assh*le.

You're calling me an assh*le?

-Uh-huh.
-Um…

Okay, Matt, you really like me?

-Yeah.
-Okay.

-I do.
-I know.

I think there's a lot in common.

Put this in perspective.

You and I fall
crazy in love with each other…

Why?

And get a f---ing hut.

But then we're like, "Oh, my God.

What are we doing?"

Okay.

Thank you. It was nice.

-This was nice.
-Very nice.

There are three people on this date,

and that's the problem.

We have me, Bri, and Jack Daniels.

Dollar dollar bills, y'all!

Let's get f---ed up.

And Jack Daniels is actually

probably the loudest speaker on the date.

Oh, I never asked you the same question.

Do you like me?

Now? Currently?

No, I don't see anything
romantically right now.

Good.

Want to go to the bitch later?

I know the difference
between a, you know, bitch

and then the bee-yatch.

[laughs]

Deck crew, let's put everything away,

do a deck check, and be done working.

[gasps] This-- oh, my God.

You have to smell this.

I can't smell.

I bought this perfume--

I don't care. I can't smell.

I want you to go do work.

Oh, my God!

I haven't smelled this in ten years.

Okay, you can take that with you.

♪ Smooth operator ♪

♪ Bow, bow ♪

-Hi.
-Yo.

♪ I'm drinking rum ♪

How was your date?

-k*lled it.
-It was good.

-I brought whiskey.
-There was some whiskey.

I am dripping sand
all over the f---ing place.

-[laughs]
-He's wasted again?

What the f---?

That was awesome.

Thank you.

Hilarious.

I had a grrrrrrrreat time.

-Details.
-He's brooming the--

-Details.
-Do you know who I am?

Do you know who I am?

[giggles]

Details.

Trust me; I will T Rex
the sh-- out of her.

What the f---?

[slurring]

[laughs]

I'm f---ing-- whoo!

I don't think his date went that good

if he's that drunk.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

So what happened?

-We went to the beach.
-Yeah?

I made it clear I wasn't interested.

So I hope he's okay with it.

No.

No, no, no, no.

No.

Opposite.

[sighs]

♪♪

I'll see you in the morning, okay?

Good night.

♪♪

Ah, f---.

[upbeat music]

Okay, Captain, I got to make your coffee.

♪♪

-You all right, buddy?
-No.

I acted like an idiot yesterday.

-You're broken?
-Yup.

[laughs]

Chances with Bri are out the window.

-Hey, Bri.
-What's up?

So I heard you had a hot date.

I don't know. That was quite awkward.

He was getting really drunk.

And I'm not into him romantically.

Aw.

I think that she should be happy

that she had a horrible date,

'cause I'm sad that I had no date.

I think it'll be fine.

Yeah, I hope he just gets over it quick.

How you doing?

Fine. How are you?

Good.

Coming on board?

Yes, I am.

Are you a new crew or something?

The new boatswain.

Well, this is a surprise to me.

I didn't know we had
a new boatswain but Baker.

How you doing? EJ.

Nice to meet you, EJ.

I'm gonna go speak with the cap.

All right, you do that.

-Captain Lee.
-EJ.

Long time, no see.

Yeah.

Made my way out to Vancouver
to see your ass,

and you don't even show up.

Hey, man, you know, duty calls.

I've known EJ for a few years,

and we've worked together on charters,

so it's a package I know what I'm getting.

Liking the Caribbean vibes again?

Yeah, yeah, speaking of boats,

we got our hands full with his one.

The crew is… extremely green.

That's not good.

Yeah, so that's why you're here,

'cause I need some help.

Nico's doing a good job,

but he's not at the boatswain level yet.

And until he's ready for it,

he's gonna stay as lead deckhand.

A new crewmember has arrived.

What? Who?

Apparently, a new boatswain.

Your job as boatswain is gonna be

get 'em up to speed.

And if we can't get 'em up to speed,

we're gonna start getting rid of people.

What about the lead guy,
the lead deck guy?

-That's Nico.
-Oh, Nico, okay.

I'll bring him up.

Boatswain, huh?

Yeah, that's what he said.

Guess that's what "reconfiguration" meant.

He's all right?

He's been under a lot of pressure

trying to get these guys in shape,

and he's just overwhelmed.

Nico, Nico, Lee.

Go ahead, Lee.

I need you on the bridge, please.

-On my way.
-Thank you.

Hey. How you doing, man?

-How's it going?
-EJ.

Nice to meet you.

This is your new boatswain.

Called me out just for a little help.

No f---ing way.

You know, get some things
straightened out.

You're gonna have to work out

sleeping arrangements.

Just make sure that he has a bunk.

Absolutely.

So if you want to show him
around the boat,

get him settled in.

I'm pissed.

I definitely feel like
I should be the boatswain

and I deserve it.

It, quite frankly, sucks.

We'll just go through
the whole process here.

Cool beans.

Just get through it, man.

How are you?

-Just tired.
-Yeah, I hear you.

-Do you need one?
-I just chugged one.

You just chugged a coffee?

-Yup.
-I have not had one.

[sighs]

All right, I'll be in the laundry.

Okay.

Definitely not fine to wake up

with a hangover and a bunch of regrets.

Partying and drinking

really hasn't done me any favors.

It actually kind of ruined
my relationship with my ex.

I partied a lot, and she didn't like it.

But at the time,

it was something
I wasn't ready to give up.

Hey, guys, this is our new boatswain.

How you doing, man? EJ.

Nice to meet you, man.

-Bruno.
-How you doing, Bruno?

Coming in as the new guy
can be really difficult,

but I'm always up for a challenge.

I would say that in my whole entire life,

from going to countless different schools,

from going to countless different cities,

I can adapt to a situation very easily.

It kind of gives me a little thrill,

a little adrenaline rush.

So, yeah, he's here

to kind of get us where we need to be.

You know, obviously, too many f---ups,

so he's here to help all of us out, so…

I answer to one higher power,
and that's God.

I don't know who my boss is.

This boat is ridiculous.

Is one of us going?

Let's just have a good charter,

and hopefully nobody is going.

The guests are on at 12:30,
so let's finish the wipe-down.

-Roger that.
-Yeah, mon.

-Welcome aboard, EJ.
-Thank you, buddy.

-I'm happy to have you.
-Cool beans, man.

Matt, this is our boatswain.

Hey, man, how you doing?

-Nice to meet you.
-EJ.

This is our new boatswain.

-Hi.
-Hello, hello.

-How are you?
-I'm good. How are you?

-Pretty good.
-So where's he gonna sleep?

-I have Chris in here.
-[laughs]

-He can take his bunk.
-Oh!

I don't spend that much time
in the crew mess,

so I don't really care.

Luckily, there's no HR on a yacht.

If there was, we'd be in big trouble.

-This is our boatswain.
-Hi.

-Hello.
-Jen. Nice to meet you.

I know we're busy right now,

but maybe change over the sheets.

-Right here?
-Yeah.

No problemo.

-EJ is his name?
-Yeah.

-So he's Nico's boss.
-Yeah.

Wow.

I figured we would hopefully
be hiring somebody new,

but Captain Lee surprised all of us.

I don't know how
we're gonna work this out.

[sighs]

Now I've got two bosses,

so, like, who do we take orders from?

I don't know. This is just too weird.

Coming up…

Stern's not clear. We got one line still.

Come on, guys.

There's a reason

that Captain Lee called me onto the boat.

We need to get that off.

Jesus Christ.

-Hi.
-Hey.

I don't know if you guys
have heard what's going on.

Well, I know we have a new boatswain.

Yeah, I have a new roommate.

And apparently you're sleeping
in the crew mess?

I don't know if I'm okay--

You're sleeping in the crew mess?

-No, you are.
-I am?

-Yeah.
-Well, of course.

I'm not surprised.

I do well with no sleep.
This is ideal for me.

Are you kidding me?

Captain and Nico,

they're just trying
to f---with me at this point.

If you don't want me, tell me.

But nobody wants to make the call.

Should have stayed in bed.

What's the task at hand
going on right now?

They're just kind of
chamoising out, getting--

Yeah, and making final details,

making everything look good.

30 minutes to showtime, kids.



Another crew member.

Dude, don't even get me started about it.

-Hello.
-Brianna.

-My name's EJ.
-Nice to meet you.

I'm right across from you.

I live amongst the people now,

in the common area.

I'm back to being a common man.

So it looks like a great place
for everything I own.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Everybody on the aft deck.

Everybody on the aft deck now.

I don't give a sh--

who he's hired on as boatswain.

I'm gonna make sure that he knows

where I stand and where my place is.

I just feel like it's gonna be weird.

It's gonna be really weird.
It already is weird.

No alcohol.

I have a very bad feeling
about this charter. [indistinct]

Oh my God, I can't believe I'm
getting on a boat.

♪♪



This is really weird.

You're telling me. I have to sleep
in a f---ing room with him.

-Ladies first?
-Age before beauty.

-Hi.
-Hi, there.

-Summer.
-Captain Lee.

-Nice to meet you.
-My pleasure.

-Brad.
-Brad? How's it going?

-Hi. How are you?
-Nice to meet you.

-How you doing? EJ.
-EJ?

-Nico.
-Nico.

-Nice to meet you, sir.
-How we doing?

-Fantastic.
-Good.

-Welcome aboard.
-Yeah.

I'm gonna have Kate show you around.

As soon as we get everybody comfortable,

we'll get under way
and get the party started.

-All right.
-Yay.

Right this way, guys.

Okay, well, this is our main salon.

Beautiful.

First we're gonna go on down

to Brad and Summer's room.

This your master stateroom,

and you've got a huge bathroom in here.

Now, this toilet, it's very fancy.

It's motion-activated to open.

-Yeah.
-[laughter]

I think the reason

that people love this toilet so much

is just a perfect example

of gratuitous, pointless,
money-spending luxury.

That means you can't slam the lid.

-How great is that?
-That's right.

-Let's get the shoes, sync up the lines.

-You want to meet on the bow?
-Yeah.

Okay. Do this bad boy.

If you want to be on the stern
with all these guys,

I'm gonna take Bruno on the bow.

All right, buddy.

Oh, my God.

Right this way.

-[pot clatters]
-Oh, I hear that noise.

And Brad broke off to go harass people.

So we're gonna have some fun, huh?

Absolutely.

We're foodies. We travel a lot.

So food is really an experience,

and it's about what's available for us

and the people that are involved

more than, "Hey, let's execute something

that's architecturally bizarre."

I don't care about that.

I'm not a fancy man. I'm very simple.

-Cool.
-So that's great.

Anyway, well, nice to meet you. Thank you.

Nice to meet you too.

Lee, we're taking off one, two, three.

-Kind of going this way.
-Yeah, bow to stern.

So I'm gonna walk it out
towards the middle

and trying to keep it--

you know, the bow off the dock.

Sounds good.
All right, Bruno, Tom, let's go.

Pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull.

Bow line's clear.

This one now. This one, Chris.

Call it when it's clear, guys.

All right.

Spring is clear.

No. sh--.

Stern's not clear. We got one line still.

-Come on, guys.
-Take the lines up.

We need to get that off. Come on.

All right, all lines clear.

You're clear on the stern.

Jesus Christ.

Pulling the thruster on.

-Ooh, the breeze feels nice.
-Yeah.

-Nico.
-Yes, sir.

Is this one living in the back

just 'cause we use it all the time?

We're gonna put
the tender on it right away.

Cool beans.

"Cool beans." It sucks.

Now I got to report to this idiot.

All right, guys, let's
change over to beach gear.

[sighs]

So what's-- what--
what is the plan for EJ?

How long is he working?

Is it EJ or AJ?

Or what is his f---ing name?

Ejaculating Juicebag?

Yeah, that's what he looks like.

Oh, yi, yi.

I would love to go in a fighter jet,

to have the experience,

but I don't think I could do it.

How's everybody feeling? All right?

-Good.
-You know what would be great?

-Like, a virgin lime colada.
-Got it.

-I love that.
-Thank you.

It's so hard to make blended drinks

without alcohol.

I don't get these virgin cocktails.

[blender whirring]

I got a virgin cocktail for you.

It's called water, H2O.

Healthy. You're welcome.

It's delicious.

Ugh.

How are you feeling
about all the "excursion"?

Like, are you quiet
because of that at all?

-No.
-No?

I was just worried, like,
if you were feeling

some kind of way this morning
because of it.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm just tired.

-I'm just exhausted.
-Okay.

So I just-- I don't know.

Don't worry about me.

[sighs]

All right, I need some deck crew

up on the forward deck.

We're gonna drop the hook.

Okay, Cap. We're ready to rock.

Another day in paradise, buddy.

Yes, sir.

Any one he prefers to drop?

-Usually I do my preference.
-Okay.

Three sh*ts on my mark.

And drop.

Okay, Cap, three in the water.

We're looking good with the anchor.

Copy that.

♪♪

[sighs]

All right.

Did you check on what they're
doing in the kitchen?

Are we gonna eat?

Everything all right so far?

-Ready for lunch?
-Yes.

Excellent timing.

Looks pretty. What kind of dressing?

-Tomato vinaigrette.
-You take two. I take two.

Yay, easy.

Here we have a chicken vegetable salad

with a tomato vinaigrette.

-That is very good.
-Perfect.

-Mmm.
-Very delicious.

Fresh corn, vinaigrette.

Chicken tastes sous vide.

It's good.

They seem very happy
with your salad so far.

Good.

Are you feeling okay?

You seem very…

Everything okay?

Yeah. Thanks for asking.

Mm-hmm.

Come down a bit. Watch yourself.

Okay, let's do it steady, buddies.

Cool beans.

-Okay, let's keep her steady.
-Oh, watch yourself!

Watch the Ski. Do not get on that.

Watch yourself.

These guys, they haven't
been taught properly.

What was Nico teaching them
for four weeks?

Whoa, mate.

Something needs to change.

Slow and steady. All right.

-How are they?
-Boring.

-[laughs]
-Sorry.

I just met them. They seem boring.

They seem boring?

Oh, delicious sorbet.

[laughs]

Hey, Nico, what would you recommend

that Chris do with his… stuff?

Nothing. He's living in here now, so…

Guess his sh--'s gonna be everywhere.

I mean I could just put it in
my closet now.

You probably don't want it in here, huh?

Sure. Why not? Help him out.

Whoo!

-I'll take one of those.
-Okay, cool.

Let's get them some goggles.

[upbeat music]

Yee-ha!

♪♪

Whoo!

[laughs]

♪♪

What you got for 'em tonight, man?

Scallops with risotto.

-Cool.
-Yeah, should be good.

What's up, people? Came to hang out.

How long do you think this
dude's gonna stay here for?

I feel like you know more than I know.

He knows what he's doing, though, yeah?

No, he definitely-- he has experience.

But guess what.

I also f---ing have experience too.

Why is he above you?

I think I should be f---ing boatswain.

I knew we were gonna have
changes on the boat,

but I kind of feel blindsided.

Having a boatswain come in,
I'm almost thinking,

"Am I the person going home now?"

It's kinda like just a f---ing
slap in the face.

Coming up…

How's everything so far? All right?

The risotto's not cooked enough.

All right.

And my steak is way past medium.

I'm in your room.
Where's my clothes, in here?

[yawns loudly]

[yawns loudly] Brad's gonna crash.

[upbeat music]

Getting naked real quick, Baker.

Ooh, Lord!

♪♪

Man, I feel bad.

It ain't your doing.

I mean, it is, but it's not.

If anybody wants to jump on the master.

Jen?

[sighs]

How do I have such horrible luck?

There's four guests. Three rooms.

You are the favorite.

You are the chosen one.

I wouldn't say that.

I'm excited about a steak. I am starving.

So are we celebrating
your ten-year anniversary?

These two? Congratulations.

Yeah. Thank you.

Tonight has to be a good dinner.

The guests are not drinking,
and they are foodies.

Ginger beer is just so full of sugar,

but I love it.

Drunk guests notice mistakes less.

A night of quiet solitude.

So I am hoping that Matt is going to

really swing for the fences

and put out a great dish.

♪♪

So, Kate, the steak for his wife?

-Cooked medium.
-Gotcha.

♪♪

Would you like some bread?

Yes, please.

-What you making?
-Food.

Four people's easy to cook for, huh?

Oh, sure.

Hey, Matt, are you ready when we are?

-Yes, ma'am.
-Thank you.

Scallops and Brussels sprouts risotto.

There you are.

These are scallops with
a Brussels sprout risotto.

And, Summer, you have a filet.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Those look delicious.

I would have never tried
Brussels spouts in risotto.

The risotto's not cooked enough.

How's your steak?

It's fine.

-It's more like medium well.
-Mm-hmm.

How's everything so far? All right?

My steak is way past medium.

Um, all right.

-The risotto's underdone.
-Okay.

I can bring you something else.

-No.
-I'm good, thank you.

You guys are lovely.
Any feedback is appreciated.

It doesn't seem to be
stopping you from eating it.

I'm starving.

They did say her steak was past medium…

Okay.

And that the risotto was underdone.

Okay.

Anyone on this planet would be mortified

if the one job they had, they failed at.

And he's just kind of, like,
shrugging it off.

That's a problem.

I am accustomed

to working my ass off as a single parent,

but I feel like I'm the only one working!

[sighs]

I'm curious about what's for dessert.

I don't think I've ever had
Bananas Foster.

[clears throat]

We're ready.

Bananas Foster is ridiculous
to serve on a yacht.

This is not TGI Fridays.

It's strange. It's weird.

It's lazy.

-Bananas Foster.
-All right!

Could use a little more ice cream.

So, Nico, what's the typical

in this scenario, you know?

Just kind of hang out?

Well, there's only four people,

so that's like cake walk.

Well, you got to pretty much
cover up every night, right?

Windows, you got to keep streak free,

salt free.

It's more chill at night.

But the deck is just--

there's so many scuff marks.

It's like, "Oh, man!"

So probably on the downtime,

have to tackle all that stuff.

He just wants to go, go, go.

"This boat looks like crap."

No, man. Chill out.

Like, these guys aren't
gonna get any better.

This is as good as it's gonna get.

Happy days.

Was it good?

We can play the feedback game.

Needed more ice cream.

Hardly any ice cream.

And I hardly had ice cream.

Do you want me to have chef come out?

Or I can simply relay the message.

It's up to you.

We'll relay the message this one.

[sighs]

So they had some feedback for the meal.

They said the Bananas Foster
could have used more ice cream.

You could never go wrong
with more ice cream.

I reckon they're right.

One more last event we have

for a finale to your evening,

and Brad has arranged this
just for you guys

for your anniversary.

Happy anniversary.

All right!

Go ahead and sh**t them off.

[upbeat music]

All right!

[music winds down]

Oh.

Are you kidding me?

Wah, wah, wah.

It's kind of sad, actually.

Happy anniversary, guys.

♪♪

Whoo!

-Whoo!
-Happy anniversary!

All right!

When all else fails,
just light stuff on fire.

Hopefully, the loud bang and the flash

will, like, erase their memory of dinner.

I don't know.

They're not drinking.
so that's all I have.

-Whoo!
-[applause]

-Thank you!
-Thank you!

-So good!

This charter seems like

it's gonna be easy peasy, though, man.

Four people, dude?

We just had eight women.

One of them had great fake boobs.

As a boatswain,

I'm definitely a
lead-by-example kind of person.

We need to rinse any more of
this floor or just that part?

To do it proper, we should rinse it all.

Yeah.

I'm a yachtie for life.

I like this stuff.

And I like to teach people.

Does it matter which way?

I usually go against the grain
and then with it.

What I would do,
I'll put my arm through it,

take a big line,
and I can spin my arm around it.

That's pretty cool, though.

I'm trying to build the team

into being better yachties.

In the end of the day,

it's what they deserve.

Got to get that teak on fleek, girl.

We run a friggin' tight ship around here.

-All right, people.
-I'm going to bed, I think.

Day one complete.

At dinner, primary basically says

the Bananas Foster could have used

a little bit more ice cream.

Maybe our chef will be like the fireworks,

like a very worrisome beginning
with a grand finale.

Do you want me to go down after this?

Yes, I do. Here.

You're early girl tomorrow.

Good night.

So what do you think of new guy EJ?

[sighs] Well, he seems like
he knows what he's doing.

And it's weird, 'cause he's, like,

in charge of Nico now.

Meanwhile, Chris is sleeping on the couch.

It's a weird situation.

Yeah, it's really weird.

EJ, Lee.

Go ahead, Lee.

Can I get you up on the wheelhouse again?

Roger that.

Hey.

What are your first impressions
of the crew?

I'd prefer to run it a little harder,

like just be a little more stringent

on the tasks to be done.

I'm going to bed. I'm on release tomorrow.

We're having the crew just
walking around aimlessly.

Mm-hmm.

Nico has already set the tone to the boat

being kind of lazy-daisical.

There's so much more potential,
and what we need

is people coming together
and getting the stuff done.

Just kind of get on the page with Nico,

'cause Nico and me got to be…

[clicking tongue]

I agree.

♪♪

I could not, for the life of me,

sleep in the crew mess.

It's way too loud.

There's no privacy. It's bright.

-Chris.
-Yeah.

Go to my bed if you want.

So I'm pretty miserable, and it sucks.

Good morning. How are you?

What can I help you with? A coffee or a--

I'm good with just coffee.

Okay, cool.

Jen, Jen, Matt.

sh--.

Ah. sh--.

Jen, Jen, Jen, Matt.

Quick question. Obviously I gotta go, but

Is there any one complete lone ranger

that needs attention?

In the back?

-I mean, kind of.
-Which one?

Hey, Matt, just let me know

if you need me to come up.

I think she's here.

Is that Jen?

-Hi.
-They already up?

-Yeah.
-Okay, I'm coming.

I already got his coffee for him.

Okay, I'm coming. Thank you.

How are you late for work on a yacht?

You have no commute.

You roll out of bed; you're there.

At least I do.

How do you take your coffee?

-That's it?
-Yeah.

Okay.

Hi. Sorry for that.

I just gave him a coffee.

Everyone has already had coffee?

No, just him.

He's the only one that's up.

Okay, thank you.

[Chris] My bad.

Whoa! Holy sh--, buddy.

I think you purposely
wanted me to see that.

How far are we going?

We're gonna head over
to Rendezvous Bay in Anguilla.

-Cool.
-How you doing so far?

EJ helping out?

Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's--

I was gonna ask you as well,

like, is that something
that's, like, permanent or…

I'm not sure.

Yeah? I mean, 'cause--

Unless you're seeing
something that I'm missing.

I mean, if we have an extra crew member

and then we're sharing a tip, you know,

I just feel like there's
just too many people here.

I don't know.

I didn't bring EJ in

for my health.

I brought him in
because we have a job to do.

Nico needs to understand that.

Suck it up, cupcake.

The guests are in the back.

They're enjoying themself.

We don't really want to be seen.

Home boy's doing the windows.

I got Buddy on the back
doing a little waxing.

Can you just start piecing away

on things that we got around boat?

You know, like inside
those little crevices there,

you could put some Whink.

You know what Whink is?
The rust stain remover?

Yes.

My father was in the navy,

so from a young age,

hard work was instilled in me.

And I've always believed

that if you do your job and you work hard,

you're gonna come out on top.

All right, I'm gonna get some Whink.

Yeah, get some Whink.

Did you get some rest?

I did. Thank you.

Good.

Is he being as, like, standoffish with you

as he is with me?

Yeah, I think he's
feeling down or something.

For two days? Just saying.

We'll see how today goes.

Coming up…

This brake wasn't disengaged.

That's why it was so hard to pull up.

-Oh, sh--.
-That's all metal,

which isn't good for it.

Strike one.

What a f---ing idiot.

[upbeat music]

-All right, guys.
- I'd start pulling.

-All ready here.
-Copy that.

We're gonna get out of here.

Ah, f---.

Got to be careful with that paint, though.

The chain's scraping the bottom bank.

Have you not picked up an anchor before?

There we go.

Good morning, my friends.

It looks beautiful.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Breakfast is served.

Really good.

So, Matt, how's life?

-Good.
-Okay.

The last couple of days
really put perspective

of how much I need

to get it together.

You're a horrible date.

Do you know who I am? [giggles]

Is he wasted again?

It's embarrassing.

And it's not a great feeling

having a charter guest
tell you you're sh--.

The risotto's underdone.

My steak is way past medium.

I had hardly any ice cream.

If you don't recognize
that you've messed up,

you're gonna keep messing up.

So I got to get my act together.

Anchor's in the pocket.

This brake wasn't disengaged, by the way.

That's why it was so hard to pull up.

Oh, sh--.

See all this in here?

That's all the metal
rubbing up against each other.

With Nico, I feel that maybe

he wants me to f---up

so it looks good on him.

Buddy, you got a whole other think coming.

A lot of friction,
which isn't good for it.

Jesus, dude.

Oh, my God.

You're the boatswain, and you don't know

how to take a hand brake off?

Dude, you got to go. Strike one.

What a f---ing idiot.

-Next on "Below Deck"…
-Oh, sh--.

We got a little leakage
in the laundry room, girls.

Uh… This is totally Jen.

How much soap did you put in the washers?

Move it. Move it. Move it.

We are drifting into the "Maltese Falcon."

-Go the other way!
-Son of a bitch.

Brace yourself. [thud]

You're quite bitter all the time.

-I have nothing to be bitter about.
-Listen to me right now, Jen.

You need to take it down.

I don't ever want to talk to Bri again.

Take it off.

What the f--- is wrong with you?

I just want to wring him by the neck.

It's my deck now, buddy boy.

You want to play?

That's f---ing embarrassing.

When the pressure comes on,

everything you learned
just gets forgotten.

I'm gonna have to cut you loose.