05x11 - Only Doing It for the Money

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on Below Deck…

Ow. F---. I need help. I need help.

The nerve was pinched.

I'm pissed off. I'm grumpy.

I have no control
over anything right now.

Now it's EJ's deck.

[EJ] Copy that.

Mmm. With cheese.

Bruno takes a lot of pressure off me,

because I can just take care
of the main courses.

Easy J, I wanted to ask
if you wanted to go out to dinner with me.

A true gentleman takes the time
to make the right move.

-We're doing it big time, girl.
-[chuckles]

Crazy news.

Pretty much when the charter ends,
I'm out of here.

-That s--- over there.
-It's breaking hard.

Due to safety reasons, we won't
be leaving the dock today.

-What?
-Well, that sucks…

-Just got a hotel room.
-…and save a sh-- ton of money.

I have never spent the whole
entire charter on the dock.

Whatever we can do to put
this thing right over the top.

Y'all need to get your butts in the seats.

[all cheer]

Why would you do two pieces
of fish in one day?

I'm not even hungry anymore.

Can we lounge when we finish everything?

Last I checked, Kate was my boss, not you.

-I am going to go to bed.
-Can I eat dinner?

You got a two-hour break.
I didn't get a break.

You are gonna stay up and help Bri.

This is, like, sadistic sh--.

♪♪

[foghorn blares]

[upbeat music]

♪♪

[hip-hop music]

Do you wanna wash or dry?

-Um, I'll dry.
-Okay.

Kate, I just wanna strangle her,
but I'm a good person,

and I'm trying to suppress that feeling.

-Good night.
-See you tomorrow, thank you. [smooches]

♪♪

I'm gonna pee very quickly.

♪♪

Hi.

-How was your night?
-Good.

I can't stay because I have to
get Jen to bed.

She's the early girl, she's supposed
to be in bed at 10.

And she's making her stay up
and wash all the dishes with me.

It's definitely more difficult
working with someone

who sincerely believes
they're working extremely hard,

and they're not.

She just needs to suck it up
and do the job.

So I gotta make sure she goes to bed.

♪♪

I'm having a brain fart.
Where do we keep these?

Up here, yeah?

They don't, like,
go all the way down in there.

-That's okay.
-Okay. I'm just losing my mind.

Jen, she's so tired, she's delirious,

and she's not helping me at all.

Just need to lay my head down…

-Go to bed.
-I'm done.

-All right, thank you.
-Thank you.

♪♪

Well, Baker, gonna miss ya.

-Miss you too, booboo.
-Who knows?

Maybe you guys will get
someone to replace me.

-Yeah, right?
-I will miss



Some of them, I could probably go without,

but there is a couple
real cool ones onboard.

Oh! Sometimes, moments like this

-you just gotta enjoy.
-[chuckles] Right?

It just doesn't feel like
I'm leaving tomorrow.

-Yeah.
-It never does.

You can still make the most of it.

[chuckles]

Well, Baker…

Eej.

This is it.

Well, I wonder when the next time
I'll be here in Saint Martin.

Saint Martins.

Time flies when you're having fun.

Mm-hmm.

♪♪

You're not that bad.
[grunting, moans]

So, uh…

-What time is it?
-Time to freaking

get this sh-- done and go to bed.

Shall we?

Oh, well.

[playful dynamic music]

♪♪

[electronic music]

[alarm clocking buzzing]

♪♪

Apple turnovers? Those are new.

Yeah.

Your arm feels better?

I feel a lot better today.

I can actually like, move it around a bit.

Attention all crew:
now that the conditions

have settled down a little bit,
I think it's safe

to take the guests out
for a little morning cruise.

[machine buzzes]

Having such a negative season
doesn't sit well with me.

-Baker.
-Niki-Niki.

Sitting in my room
put things in perspective,

and now I'm gonna come out
with a fire under my ass,

and I'm gonna actually be a
team player and do a good job.

I think we might be
leaving the dock today.

-Oh, my God, is it happening?
-It might be happening.

Hey, Nico.

Should you be wearing your sling?

I think it's a bit dramatic, but…

-Don't be too cool for a sling, Nico.
-I'm not too cool for a sling.

[soft, slow music]

[groans]

Come on, Jen.

♪♪

[sighs] F---.

Do we have any news on the day?

It's looking good.

-What time is it?
-9:03.

Uh-oh, Jen's late. Tick-tock, Jen.

♪ The longer you are late,
the more you will pay for it ♪

-Hello. It's 9:07.
-Good morning.

-Yeah, I don't feel good, so I'm here.
-Oh, none of us feel good.

Did you sleep all right?

Jen?

I'm just on the verge of tears.
I don't feel good.

Oh, why are you on the verge of tears?

-Why don't you--
-Because I don't feel good.

I can handle this if you feel
really, really sick.

It's okay.

Jen tells me her problems;
I give her solutions.

Then she finds problems
in those solutions,

which become new problems.

How do you solve a problem like Jen?

[clears throat]

We're gonna have to move quick.

Let's go, let's go.

-What's that sound?
-Engines! Whoo!

Engi-- That's a good sound.

It's good to have Nico back on deck,

because we still need him.



-Buddy!
-Pay attention here, huh?

[guests]
We're moving, we're leaving!

-Yea.
-We made it.

We made it.

Once around the park,
and we're headed back.

A morning cruise?

-That's it. That's all we're gonna do.
-Yeah.

I'm only doing it for the money.

Morning, Nico.

How's the old arm today bud?

Feels a lot better.

I realized that I have been a d*ck to EJ,

but at the same time,

I'm still dealing with
a lot of things in my head,

especially with the death of my brother.

I haven't been in the right frame of mind,

and since EJ's come onboard,
it's hard to admit,

but the deck team's come a long way.

I need to respect that.

Yeah, it's good to have you back.

This is a pretty part of the island.

And the water is gorg'.

And I've got the bacon.

Ooh, nice and crispy. Yes!

What's the breakfast special today, Jen?

Um, I have not been informed
of that information, but I will find out.

-I'll be right back.
-Are they keeping it a secret from you?

Um, I think Kate knows, and Matt know,

but they don't like to share
things with me sometimes.

We just wanna make sure
we save room for it.

Surprise, the breakfast special is--
I don't know what the f---ing special is,

'cause my chief stew won't
f---ing communicate to me.

They're requesting that
we inform them of the special,

which nobody's informed me of yet,

so if you'd like to tell me
what the breakfast special is,

-I can let them know.
-That was the most complicated,

long-winded way of asking Matt
what the f--- the breakfast special was.

-Yeah? What was it?
-Eggs Benedict.

Okay.

[electronic music]

-These are ready to go?
-Yes, they are.

Thank you very much.

-Thanks.
-You're welcome.

You know, I love a challenge. I really do.

And these charter guests,

they're challenging me
to every extent possible.

But I'm just tired of seeing their face.

These people can leave.

-Fancy!
-Bon appétit.

-You don't like it?
-It's just bland.

Ah…

♪♪

I'm gonna turn around and head back.

They've had enough fun.

Nico-meister…

you wanna kinda help start
getting ready up on the bow?

Okay, no worries.

Oh, my God, we're turning around already.

Ah, we are headed back to the marina.

-No, that's it.
-This sucks.

Uh, It's not even 10 yet.

Deck crew, on your toes.

Bruno, EJ, You ready up on the bow?

-Yep.
-Standby, standby.

-Copy.
-All right, I'm headed in.

♪♪

So, your line's gonna go on first.

I really didn't wanna throw
this f---ing line either.

-Use your left arm.
-Chuck it to him up forward.

Let's get that line on in a hurry.

Baker, let me know when it's on the cleat.

-All right.
-The deck team's

definitely in a better place
than when I came.

If you're gonna throw that thing,

get it to the g*dd*mn dock.

-Watch the bow!
-God damn it!

They're proficient. They got it.

How tight am I looking there?

You're probably gonna need
to give a little…

Pull, pull, pull, pull,
pull, pull, pull, pull.

-How tight's our bow?
-It's tight.

Lock it off.

Nice job, guys.

♪♪

Oh, f---.

♪♪

That's so great, they did our laundry.

This is over-packing to the limit.

[Charley]
Thanks for everything, you're awesome.

See you soon, Bruno.

Everybody on the main deck
aft in 15 minutes.

[sighs] I just wish I could, like,

eat and rest like a proper
sick person should.

♪♪

They're about to lay it on us.

♪♪

Take care. Safe travels.

-Thank you for everything.
-Hope you had a good time.

-I had so much fun.
-Thank you. Thanks. Thank you.

-Have a great trip home.
-Thank you.

-Ah, you're welcome.
-The best--the best job.

You know, this was really, really great,

and we had a good time,

but there was a disappointment for us.

For Michela and Jason,

this was such a big deal to them,

but it's been kind of a downer for them.

I don't even know where they are,

and I think they might have left.

For Michela and Jason,

It's been kind of a downer for them.

I don't even know where they are,

and I think they might have left.

And then, the crew's great,
but if it were my restaurant,

a lot of things would
have been sent back.

What?

Why would you do two pieces
of fish in one day?

I'm not even hungry anymore.

-You don't like it?
-It's just bland.

Ah…

This woman waits till the last minute

to destroy my food in front of
the crew and Captain Lee?

Talk about class.
I bet you her restaurant sucks.

I just know you could have
taken it to another level,

and I just felt that level was missed.

I have to share that,
but thank you so much.

I've never seen a primary charter guest

just leave the boat,

so this is kind of uncharted territory.

-Bye, guys.
-Hey.

-That was interesting.
-They just left?

She's awesome.

Let's go to work.

[hip-hop music]

♪♪

I need everybody
in the crew mess.

Roger.

♪♪

Okay. All in all, with, you know,
not being able to get off the dock,

I thought it went pretty well.

The one girl, you know,
kind of surprised me a little bit

with her assessment of things,
but I don't see

where we could have done
a lot differently than we did.

Matt, was there some food
issues that I wasn't aware of?

I think she is someone
that will always have something to say.

One thing I hate to do is babysit,

but I do have concerns about the galley,

and so it seems like
I'm gonna have to watch Matt

more closely than I normally would.

We did $15,000.

That's 1,363 apiece.

Oh, by the way,
EJ will be leaving us today.

-What?
-Last day.

He's got to get back to his other boat.

Thanks for helping us out.
I appreciate it.

It was my pleasure.

Captain, can you say that again?

Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much. Bye!

And maybe we'll get to work
together soon sometime.

I sure hope so.

EJ did everything I asked him
to do, and did it well.

I don't think I could have
asked for a better performance.

Nico's gonna have to step up,
with EJ being gone.

Well, I appreciate you hanging out.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, definitely.

-You did a great job.
-It was fun.

Thanks, guys. I appreciate it a lot.

-Ya, mon.
-[chuckles]

So, my wife, Mary Anne,
is coming in today.

-Yay.
-Oh, cool.

It's very rare that my wife
ever gets to join me on charter.

I'm excited about it,

but I've had enough to worry about.

Mary Anne and I might
join you guys for dinner.

-Yay, that's exciting.
-Kate found Jesus.

Bri found all the guys on the boat.

You know, Captain Lee,
his wife's coming along.

Everybody's getting a little
loving, except for yours truly.

This kind of sucks.

-Let's go to work, guys.
-Thank you.

-Thank you, Cap.
-Thank you.

[electronic music]

♪♪

Ow! F---er.

-Did you hit your head?
-Oh!

It always gets you
on the way out, don't it?

I can't believe
you're leaving, EJ.

-I know, Eej.
-That's so sad.

-I know.
-Easy J, come and go,

turning and burning.

I'm bummed out nothing
really got off the ground

with EJ and myself,

but I'm sure I'll see him
after this charter season,

and every time I say, "Roger Dodger,"
I'll think of him.

We were hoping the ship was
gonna be delayed, but it wasn't.

When was the last time you saw this?

[laughs] I know.

Thank God that f---ing guy is leaving.

I know Baker likes him and all…

I know.

-[gasps] Sh--, man. It's real.
-I know.

Before he came, everything was good,

so I'm gonna make it good again.

I'm so happy that EJ's leaving.

I just wanna boot him back to Canada.

-You know I'll be seeing you soon.
-You're welcome.

I'm ready to take charge once again,

and actually have a good time
on deck and have some fun.

Like, bye, EJ!

No, I'm not gonna add you on Facebook.

Easy-J!

-My girl. My girl.
-My crew boo.

I'll miss you.

-You off, EJ?
-Yeah.

Time to get out of here, brother man.

You guys need to reconnect
when you're in Lauderdale.

-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, I told her,

I'm taking her out for a nice dinner.

-Saying goodbye.
-Bru, Bru, Bruno!

You the man, brother man.

Oh-ho-ho! You guys are all right.

Nic--oh, other hand.

[laughter] Nico…

-Good luck to you, man.
-Take care, buddy…

-Yeah, Thank you.
-And finish hard!

-Yeah, for sure.
-We will.

Away!

-[imitates expl*si*n]
-Ah!

-See you guys.
-Good luck.

-See you, man.
-One more hug.

I'm gonna miss you, Baker.

Aw.
[laughs]

-Bye.
-We'll see you soon, Baker.

I feel like I'm leaving this boat

in a much better place than I came.

The deck team has graduated
to where they need to be,

and I think Nico could be
an excellent bosun.

-Ciao. [screams]
-Whoa!

But I think he needs to drop his ego,

stop being such a child.

He's still got a long way to go.

Bye.

[upbeat music]

♪♪

Kate, Matt, Nico,
I need you guys in the crew mess now.

Copy.

♪♪

Goodness graces.

Number eight.

Shelly Snoddy. She's our primary.

She's an attorney for her family business.

We have eight women.
The ultimate girls' trip.

Dislikes: not specified.
I don't see anything crazy.

Amenities: gourmet meals from the chief.

-That would be you.
-Excellent.

It's very embarrassing
to have a charter guest

shred your chef.

This is the second time this season.

It was really pretty flawless. I mean--

Except for the chocolate ice cream,

vanilla ice cream issue
we had the first night.

Our bar is up here.
If you're not there,

you're probably not
the right person for the job.

They're requesting
a Caribbean carnival theme,

surf and turf dinner party
with entertainment and games.

That's really cool.

Ah, we're gonna have a new deckhand.

So we should be able
to provide these ladies

-with everything they need.
-Cool.

Just to have another set
of hands come on board is good,

but it'd be nice to have a deckhand

that actually knows what yachting is,

maybe what a shammy is, rather
than someone that's green.

That's a wrap.

[electronic music]

♪♪

-Nico, Lee.
-Go ahead, Cap.

Can I get you to
the starboard side gangplank.

Absolutely, Captain.

-Hello.
-Hi, Nico.

-Let me grab your bags for you, huh?
-Thank you so much.

-Hi, baby.
-Hi, baby. How are you?

I'm great. It's good to see you.

This season has been
just extremely trying.

Green deckhands, green interior crew,

crappy weather.

-This is really nice.
-To have Mary Anne come out

and give me just a little bit
of respite from the grind

is really a pleasure.

-I'm glad you came.
-Thanks, honey.

-Hey.
-Hi.

Do you think you…
could factor in like a 30?

I woke up first today. I'm tired.

It seems like we don't hustle
enough to get the work done.

The sooner we get the work
done, the sooner we take a nap.

I totally think Kate's failing me
as a boss, as a mentor.

You know, I looked up to her.

Instead, she's abused me,

played mind games with me,
emotionally.

-I have no respect for her.
-I put a list in Sky Lounge.

after you take the trash out,
you can come look at it.

-If you take a hard left…
-Hi. You look amazing.

Hi. Thank you.

-When did you get in?
-Just now.

I love Captain Lee and Mary Anne
as a couple.

They're like high school sweethearts.

Captain Lee and I talk on the
phone at least once a week,

and he always tells me about four minutes
into the conversation

that I'm on speakerphone
with Mary Anne, and I'm like,

"I know. Hi, Mary Anne." It's cute.

Oh, you two young lovebirds. [chuckles]

Man, she's in a great mood.
I f---ing love my boss.

You look amazing.
Have you been working out?

She does look good, doesn't she?

-She looks good.
-You cannot eat.

You cannot sleep. You will work.

Coming up…

♪♪

Holy sh--.

Oh, look who it is.

[slow electronic music]

Um, so if you want, just pack a bag.

and I can just carry this tonight,

rather than coming back to the boat,

and we can just go straight to the hotel.

I'm excited to just get off the boat.
Spend some time with Bri.

We'll just kind of go to the hotel.

That sounds so good.

And just get some tension
off my shoulders.

It's been a high-stress situation
all season.

-Cool, cool.
-All right.

[fast-paced instrumental music]

♪♪

I went to the zoo once,
and an elephant threw up all over me.

All I heard was just bowel movements,

-and then suddenly, "Woosh!"
-[groans]

-[laughs]
-You look great, sweetie.

-All right, shall we?
-We shall.

-Here we go. Ready?
-All right.

-Good evening.
-Oh, it's so peaceful.

[indistinct chatter]

I'll do an espresso martini, please.

Espresso martini.

I would like the same, please. Thanks.

-Two more.
-Two more?

-Oui, oui.
-How's your arm, buddy?

-Feels a lot better.
-Don't push it. Just…

-Yeah. Thank you.
-This is really nice

being right on the water, isn't it?

Oh, it's great.

Captain, how did you guys meet?

-I wanna know.
-We met--

The story of how we met--
here we go again.

My girlfriends knew him.

We all went out one night, and I met Lee,

and he doesn't remember meeting me.
[laughs]

I made such a good impression.

-He's playing it cool.
-How can you hold me responsible

for something I don't remember?
That's not fair.

Well, then we met again, about maybe
a month later, and he loved me.

And after the second time, that was it.

-Aw.
-Yeah.

-That's awesome.
-Cheers to Mary Anne visiting.

-Yes. Thank you for visiting.
-So good to see the other

half of Captain Lee.

-Cheers.
-The best half.

[laughter]

We've been married 42 years,

and after putting up
with me and five kids,

she has the patience of a saint,

and I happen to be one of those guys
who got to marry their best friend.

-We'll play musical chairs.
-Hi.

Oh, um…

-Thank you so much.
-Oh, my goodness.

I appreciate you having us
for dinner and everything.

Your wife is amazing.

-She's the best.
-She's cool.

She's just proud to, like, be with you.

-It's nice to actually see that.
-Yeah.

For a relationship to last a long time,

you have to work at it.

I care more about making her happy

than what I want for myself.

If she's got a smile on her face,
my day's complete.

I'm done.

You see a whole 'nother side of Lee

when he's around Mary Anne.

He's suddenly this big teddy bear.

-I'm a very fortunate man.
-You are.

I know it.

[gentle guitar music]

All right, Cap.

I appreciate you. Thanks for having us.

-Good night, Captain.
-I'll see you guys later.

-Au revoir. Make it good.
-Are they an item?

-I think they're an item.
-I think he's made it official.

-He's such a romantic.
-Captain?

-Yeah.
-Oh, is he giving you advice?

-[giggles]
-Oh, my God.

It's nice to see a functional
relationship in yachting.

You don't see that often,
especially from captains.

So, Lee, what do you think
about us losing EJ?

I wasn't happy to see him go.

You never have to worry about him

in the effort department, so…

When you're in a critical position,
to have an employee

that brings that much to the table,

you can't replicate that.

That's, um--it's a--

a delicacy for sure.

-Mmm, delicacy.
-Well, here's to EJ.

Cheers. Salud, salud.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

Here we are.

-I'm gonna call it a night.
-Yeah, let's do it.

-It was great meeting you.
-Thank you, Captain.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

[indistinct]

[sighs]

Bri and Nico got a room. Thank God.

I hope they're just doing something there.

All in all,
I'd say dinner was a huge success.

Bruno stayed quiet,

Matt didn't get blackout drunk,

Jen didn't cause too much of a scene,

and Nico's about to get lucky
with Bri in a hotel room.

Oh, my God, we're holding hands.

It's so official.

[giggles] I want my dessert.

[moans]

♪♪

[upbeat music]

♪♪

-Did you have fun?
-[laughs]

That's nice. Really nice.

[groans]

♪♪

That's cute.
[chuckles]

-Are you gonna keep this?
-Yeah, of course I am.

Is this what you wore on your head?

No, that's not what I wore on my head.

-What'd you wear?
-Kate made something up.

-I'm Don Ho's brother, Ass.
-[laughter]

You can take that home with you,

-just so I don't forget it.
-I can?

-Sure.
-Well, what'd you think?

New decky?

It's so weird, people leaving,
people coming.

God, I thought you were just
gonna have a sip of my coffee.

Can I have the last one? [laughs]

Yes, hello. I saw your website
about acrobatics on yachts.

And I was wondering if you'd be available.

Perfect. Eighth charter is starting,

and we're having a Carnival-themed party,

and I am excited, because
I've never done one before,

which kind of confused me.

How had I never done a Carnival-theme?

I've been in the Caribbean,
like, a million seasons. Hello?

All right. Thank you. Bye.

Let's go.

My wife and I don't get to
communicate all that much

while I'm out at sea,

so saying good-bye is never easy.

-Nico, pick up, please.
-Go ahead.

Can you get Mary Anne's bags
out of the master, please?

-Absolutely. On my way.
-Thank you.

The finish line is in sight,

and it just works out really well.

It's a really nice treat.

-Love you.
-Nico, take her down there.

-Can I ride in that too?
-Yeah, absolutely. Get in.

[both laugh]

[sighs]

♪♪

[whistling]

I'm excited the weather cleared out.

You know, and we should be
good for the rest of this week.

-Good way to end the season.
-You're back in charge.

-Yeah.
-Two more charters.

-Finish out the rest of the season strong.
-Yeah.

Supposedly a new crew arriving today.

It's so crazy.

Fine with me to have
an extra hand on deck.

[chuckles]

unless it was, like,
someone completely green,

and then that might be a setback.

Holy sh--.

Well, look who it is.

-Coming up…
-Spin it faster.

That's the slowest spin.
Were you very popular?

I haven't been whoring around
as long as you.

How old's your daughter?

♪♪

Holy sh--.

♪♪

-Well look who it is?
-What's up?

I like your shorts.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

-Oh, my gosh.
-Hi.

I'll go and see Captain first.

-I'll see you in a second, all right?
-Okay.

F---ing flamingo shorts?

Seriously?

-Cap.
-Kyle.

-Thank you for calling me.
-Overdressed again as usual.

Kyle knows the boat. He's competent.

The stewardesses will be happy to iron.

I think you guys are a bit busy,
so I just thought I'd do it.

-Kyle's a character…
-That is not pretty.

But I can count on him
to fulfill this need

for at least the next two charters.

-You remember Nico.
-Yep.

-[laughs]
-Yeah, that's what I said

-when I saw him.
-What's up, bro?

How's it going, buddy?

Motor yacht Valor, I'm back and I'm happy,
I'm lean and I'm mean.

Let's have it.

Just take him down, get him
in something respectable.

-Yep. Yep.
-Cheers, Cap. Thank you.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[electronic music]

-Sweet.
-So, Miss Chastain.

-Hi. How are you?
-What's going down?

Oh, you know, same old.
What have you been up to?

Hanging out, catching rip.

Shut up.
Kyle's funny. He's great.

We were roommates. You look great.

I look like I've been bombed
by a f---ing Care Bear.

I really wish I could give Kyle
the warm welcome that I'd love to.

I'm just so busy.

Guys, this is Kyle.

-Hey.
-What's happening? How you doing?

-What's up? Baker.
-You're definitely deck.

-Oh, yeah.
-How you doing? You all right?

What? Is it 'cause I have
a manly release or something?

-No, no, you've got the best tan.
-[laughs]

-Hi there. I'm Kyle. Absolute pleasure.
-Jen. It's very nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you too.
-Whoo-eeh.

-Sweet. All right.
-Let's get to it.

-Yay!
-This Bruno.

-This is Kyle.
-'Sup? Nice to meet you.

-How you doing?
-He's gonna be helping us out

for the rest of the season.

-Welcome aboard.
-Cheers, bro.

What do you think of the new deckhand?

Good first impression.

Yeah. He seems nice. Very British.

At the beginning of the season,

I had three green deckhands.

One of the guys was lazy as f---,
so we got rid of him,

and then Lee brought in
this Boy Scout bosun…

-Mm-hm.
-So that pissed me off.

-Yeah, 'cause you should have got it.
-Obviously.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Since I left Valor, it's been pretty
consistent on the cargo ships.

Me and Ashley have split up.
I've had a second daughter now.

I've started to become more of a provider.

It's actually made me grow up.

With us four, this should be a cakewalk.

-both: Yeah.
-Attention all crew,

we have one hour to show time.

[upbeat music]

♪♪

[groans]

Let's get everybody out on the back deck.

-Let's do it.
-Last charter certainly

was embarrassing as hell,
so this time around,

I'm gonna need everybody
to be on their toes,

or they might as well
give their soul to Jesus,

'cause their ass belongs to me.

-Oh, God.
-Colorful bunch.

-Excuse us.
-Hello there. Captain Lee.

Aw, Captain Lee, nice to meet you.

-Hi, I'm Kate.
-Well, hello, Captain.

-Nico.
-Nico, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

-Champagne?
-Beautiful.

Welcome aboard Valor, ladies.

-Cheers.
-Cheers. Whoo!

Kate is gonna show you to your rooms,

-and we'll get rolling.
-Awesome. Thank you.

-This way.
-Let's go.

-Hi.
-Wow. Look at this.

Holy sh--. This one is f---ing heavy.

So, this is the master stateroom.

-This would be me.
-Is it downstairs?

Yep, downstairs.

You can get the most tan
up here on the bunny pad.

This is where we wear the bikinis.

It's called the bunny pad for that reason.

-Okay.
-Do we have all the luggage on board?

We're just sealing up right now Capt.

Once you ladies decide who's
gonna sleep in which room…

We've got a lot of dominant girls here.

An all-girls charter
can go one of two ways:

either super fun
or super high-maintenance.

Let's just keep the champagne flowing.

We're gonna take
the black line off right away.

-The black line on the bow?
-Yeah. Hold on.

Hey, Baker,
tighten it so it's not in the water.

-Oh, whoops.
-Now that EJ's gone,

I'm in charge of these guys,
so the pressure's back on.

[Captain Lee]
All right. Let's get out of here.

Finally getting to use all
this rum in the pretty bottles.

I need my third husband
to have a boat like this.

Take it off. Take it off.

Pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull.

All lines are clear.

Jesus, thank you for allowing
us all to come together.

We are truly blessed, and
we thank you, and protect us.

-In Jesus' name, we pray.
-[chuckles]

all: Amen.

And now we drink Jesus' juice.

Break wall's 30 feet off.

No other traffic, Captain.
You're all clear.

-There's our Kate.
-There you go.

Hey, guys, let's change
over to our swimwear.

Roger.

♪♪

Should I just work in these?

That's European.

-It is European.
-I'm from Portugal, so I…

You're from Portuguese? Obligado!

Make it rain. You're like Ronaldo.

-[laughs] Yeah.
-See, I'm gonna wear

-some socks and sandals.
-That's American.

That is not American. Japanese.

Not just the Japanese do it, though.
I like you, Jen.

I can win an argument
with you quite quickly.

-We should get married.
[laughs]

Jen, my type of girl.

Hair, makeup. Very expensive chest.

But there's some crazy there.
I'm into that.

♪♪

Our boat's bigger than your boat!

Girls are on deck.

We're gonna get some toys
out for you ladies, okay?

-What kind of toys?
-What kind of toys?

-We like toys.
-On my mark,

I want 2 1/2 sh*ts.

-Copy that.
-Nico…

-Yes.
-Can you come up

and take your shirt off for us?

We're old ladies.

-We need a little eye candy.
-I love cougars.

[growls]

-Nico, watch this.
-Whoo!

-Oh!
-Well done.

-55 and loving it!
-Yes!

And drop.

♪♪

Lunch will be soon.
You can come down and sit,

-and it'll be ready.
-Okay.

I'm so relaxed. [chuckles]

I have a lot to prove at the moment.

Last charter wasn't the greatest for me.

If it were my restaurant,

a lot of things would have been sent back.

But clean slate.

The new people,
they seem like a lovely group.

I'm ready to cook for them.

-What is it?
-The tuna salad

with hardboiled eggs,
with Italian dressing.

Thank you, ladies.

You can never have
too much Jesus in your life.

Ooh! Yum.

Oh, my God, this looks good.

Nicoise salad,
and they added butternut squash as well.

Matt is amazing. This is beautiful.

-Oh, good. I'm so glad you're happy.
-This looks awesome.

They're very happy.
They're loving it.

Oh, that's awesome. Thanks, Kate.

I saw you talking with the girls.

What's your type of a girl?

Doesn't need to have a vag*na these days.

I'll take anything.

[laughs]

I think that we as Europeans
just have like a more open mind, and…

Well you're not just into chicks
as well though, are ya?

I basically…

I don't look to people as like
gender or whatever.

It's al about what I feel.

Yeah?

Have you had boyfriends in the past?

Yes, I did.

I had a girlfriend too.
My ex-girlfriend was actually from Essex.

Anyone's a target for you.

[laughs]

I haven't told anybody on the boat 'cause
people usually follow a system.

Like, you grew up a man
and you have to be with a woman.

I look to sexuality as a fluid thing.

My heart falls in love
to a beautiful heart, and that's…

that's…

that's me.

I think you're the first person
I've met like me.

We're a rare bread, bro.

I was hoping for Carnival headpieces,

and these look like alien antennas.

Like, oh, my God. [laughs]

Beep-boop. [laughs] That is much better.

Oh, that's good. That's good.

So, let's start getting that slide over.

Baker, you got the swim platform, correct?

-Roger.
-We have two charters left,

and I'm just trying to
take everything I learned

from the whole season, from EJ,

from past charters, and apply it to now.

-There you are. Slide's ready.
-I'm too old for this.

♪♪

[screams]

[electronic music]

♪♪

-I told you, it's really warm.
-Resuscitate.

Spin it faster. Spin it faster.

That's the slowest spin.
Were you very popular?

I can't show you my skills
because it's in the bedroom.

I haven't been whoring around
as long as you, Kate.

Ah, how old's your daughter?

♪♪

What the f--- did you just say?

I was married, for God's sakes.
She totally crossed that line.

-[Kate] Coming up…
-I'm a little concerned

with what I saw in the galley tonight.

Why is Matt depending on Bruno for ideas?

♪♪

So you've done this before then, I guess?

What's that?

-Cooking.
-Yeah, once or twice.

[hip-hop music]

How was your first day with Kyle?

-Oh, he's a cool guy.
-I know, eh?

-I like him.
-I like him too.

I love feathers.

♪♪

Thank you.

[electronic music]

-So excited. Yes.
-Let's go to the wheelhouse.

♪♪

Hey, Kate, what's your location?

-Right here.
-Hi.

Um, so I have to say something earlier,

'cause I feel like it was a low blow.

-Okay.
-When you said--

when I told you--we were
talking about the champagne…

And you said you haven't been
whoring around as long as me?

When you said I was a whore
'cause I had a daughter.

-So I just want to make it clear…
-So, maybe I didn't have sex until that…

that I was married…

And I'm not gonna
continue the conversation,

but I just think it was a low blow.

-So, I think you telling me--
-Just leave it there.

-No, you can't just-- listen to me.
-I feel like your--

-You can't just--
-I feel like you're miserable.

And I just-- I wanna--
I want you to not be miserable.

-Okay, how did it feel--
-I want to…

Okay, you have to let me speak if you're--

-Be there for you.
-Okay.

You don't know me well enough
to tell me…

-I don't.
-…that I'm sad. You don't.

But you seem very miserable,

-and I just want to…
-Well, you seem…

-…help--
-…very out of line right now.

No, this is a friend to a friend.

This is me talking to you at dinne…

You're not my friend.

-You're not my friend.
-Okay.

I am just so blindsided by Jen's comment.

I thought we had a fun banter going on,

and I don't appreciate her
bringing my personal life,

which she knows nothing about.

This actually hurts my feelings.

She's being mean.

♪♪

Ah, it's a good menu.
I'm gonna put the lobster,

like, right on top of the fillet.

I'm gonna have to slice the steak a bit.

[Bruno] No, just leave it like that.

-Just leave it like that? Okay.
-Yeah.

They need to see it big!

-Really?
-Yeah.

It's so pretty.

[hip-hop music]

My daughter's off-limits.

I mean, she doesn't have a child,

so maybe she doesn't get that,
but you crossed a line.

Now would be the opportunity
for you to say,

"I'm sorry, I was wrong."

But I don't think that will happen.

So, what do we got tonight, man?

Tonight, we have watermelon,

and then this is like a balsamic jam,

and some greens right on top,

followed by the blueberry--

So we're gonna knock 'em
out of their knickers.

-Yeah.
-Glad to hear that.

What about if we just lay it like that.

Good call, Bruno.
That's why you're here, buddy.

-[chuckles]
-That's perfect.

I think we still could put
the honey on the top.

Yeah. Honey is amazing.

Look at the table. How nice.
You look so pretty with that.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

-Cheers.
-Cheers, b*tches.

That's ready, Kate.

-All ready.
-That's so good.

-That's amazing.
-That'd be good. Thank you.

You nailed it.

Kate, what is this?

This is a warm goat cheese salad.

-This is so good.
-Okay, so tomorrow…

Let's write the menu.

For a starter,
I was looking for something fresh.

-Okay, okay.
-I have every confidence

that Matt could probably come up

with a menu all on his own.

Oh, yeah. I'm just helping.

I'm just helping. I'm not doing anything.

Why is Matt depending on Bruno for ideas?

He's a f---ing deckhand.

Dude, the mashed potatoes are gonna
be so good.

Thank you.

[slow percussive music]

We have a Caribbean surf and turf

with truffle mashed potatoes
and roast carrots.

-I love surf and turf.
-Oh, my God, this is so good.

-Kudos to the chef.
-Tell Matt great job.

Good. They're very happy, Matt.

-Thank you.
-If this was your last meal…

If they ex*cuted you?

If they were executing me, you know,

I would have lobster fillet

and mashed potatoes.

Gracias.

Am I stealing your position
by cutting mint?

[chuckles] Just smile.
k*ll them with kindness.

I need to have a rest bitch face too.

Mm. [laughs]

♪♪

Oh, thank you so much.
That was delicious.

I'm full.

Oh, wow, the ladies did a good job.

-They are tigers.
-They are f---ing tigers, man.

Mm.

This is cool to go whenever you're ready.

[electronic music]

-I wanna do a shot.
-The Lemon Drops?

-[laughs]
-Ladies are getting loose.

-sh*ts, yeah.
-That looks good.

-Awesome.
-There you go.

Thank you, dear.

May all your ups and downs
be under the sheets.

[laughter]

♪♪

Hey, everyone.

If you wanna grab your red wine glasses,

-and we will head on up.
-Okay.

Watch your step.

Right this way.

-Oh!
-Whoo!

Oh, my gosh,
we have our own Carnival here.

-Look at this.
-Put your mask on, everybody.

♪♪

-Oh, God.
-Whoo!

Forget the stripper poles.

One of those above your bed,
and you're set.

It's really nice to actually
have somebody else

bending over backwards for the guests.

-I love it. This is fabulous.
-Whoo!

-Oh, my God.
-Whoo!

-Whoo!
-Thank you.

That was awesome.

-Let's get that down.
-All right, Nico,

we wanna see you in that.
There you go.

♪♪

Be very, very careful.
This is so slippery.

Okay, good night. Thank you.

So how's the dating scene this season?

Nothing exciting.

No one's taken you out?

Mm-mm.

I'll take you out.

What if I don't wanna go out?

I've got tape. I think Nico's got a knife.

What if I'm into that? [laughs]

It's gonna be a busy, busy f---ing night.

Oh, my God. Stop it.

I can guarantee two things
if you go out with me.

Number one:
you're gonna have a f---ing blast.

-I bet.
-And number two:

you'll feel
a lot better in yourself.

Mm-mm. It's nice to have

somebody speaking to me in a nice way,

instead of criticizing
everything that I'm doing.

I'll make it happen.

Let's try and sweep you off your feet

and make you feel better about yourself.

Good night.

Kate, to the wheelhouse, please.

-Hello.
-Howdy, howdy.

-How's it going?
-I'm a little concerned

with what I saw in the galley tonight.

[hip-hop music]

I'm a little concerned with what I saw
in the galley tonight.

Tonight's entree was
one of his best ever.

He'll nail it one night, but then, like,

the next couple of meals
will be not at the same level.

He's been very lucky many times.

I want him to do it.
I don't want Bruno to do it.

"No, you're putting too much
lettuce on that, Matt."

Really? Maybe we just pull
Bruno out of the galley.

I agree that Bruno has spent
too much time in the galley,

but unfortunately, I think that

Matt has come to depend on Bruno

so much at this point
that pulling Bruno away

could actually make the situation worse.

-Nico, Lee.
-Right, Cap.

-To the wheelhouse.
-On my way.

[solemn music]

Kate and I were just having
a conversation about Matt.

I don't think Bruno's helping him,

I think he's hindering him.

So, tomorrow,
I want Bruno doing deckhand sh--.

I need Matt to stand on his own two feet

and show me some creative ability.

Matt seems to have this unknown fear

of putting himself out there,

and that's not what people
wanna see when they come

on board a five-start yacht.

They wanna see five-star food.

So I'm hoping that taking
Bruno out of the galley

will maybe piss him off
to the point where he goes,

"I'll show that son of a bitch."

This charter and the next one
are really important.

♪♪

[electronic music]

♪♪

[Bri] So after this season,
we should travel together.

[Nico] Yeah. I would love to.

[Bri] We don't have to get crazy.

[Nico] No we don't.

Guys, get over here.
Let's get the hook off.

Copy.

-Got anchors home.
-Copy that.

Do you mind if I put some pastries out,

or do you like to do that?

Well, we're doing a croissant--

This is what my boss told me to do, so…

-Just hear me out, Jen?
-I will.

I have Captain telling me one thing,
Kate tells me another.

I'm just always caught in the middle.

We're gonna do chocolate.

These ones are going on the picnic today.

-Got it.
-And then a couple of these guys

-will be perfect.
-Okay. Thank you.

How are you doing?

It took me a while
to f---ing figure it out,

and I don't even think it's right still,
but--

I guess I'm just still grumpy
from your deplorable thing

you said to me last night.

I feel like you're miserable.
I want you to not be miserable.

-It is what it is at this point.
-Well, for future reference,

you should never call your boss miserable.

It had nothing to do with the boss.

If my boss implies that I'm a whore, then…

-No, I didn't. You said I was a whore.
-I'm going to stand up

for myself and my daughter…

-You said I was a whore.
-so that's all there is to it.

I will get fired for standing up
for the fact that…

-I never said you were a whore.
-I have to stick up for my daughter.

-Jen and Kate. What's up?
-No, Nothing.

They're just cat-fighting.

I'm gonna leave it at that.
I mean, we're going in circles.

Kate has pushed me to my boiling point.

For her to spin this on me

like I'm the one that said something awful

about her being miserable--
are you kidding me?

So the best thing that I can do
is walk away.

-Morning. Thank you so much.
-You are most welcome,

and I got the sugar right over here.

I'll grab it for you.

-Words from above.
-Oh, the captain?

Yeah. He wants to see more of, like,
Matt being the chef

and you more on deck,

so we're gonna pull you out of the galley,

and you're gonna be in galley.

-Okay.
-You know, it is what it is.

I have no comments with that.
That's so f---ing unfair.

Is there any specific tea that you enjoy?

-Ginger. Lemon ginger.
-Yeah, lemon ginger?

Absolutely.
I'll bring it right out to you.

-Thank you so much.
-Yeah. No problem.

Matt, Matt, Lee, when you got a second,
come up to the bridge.

On my way.

Thanks, bud.

What's up?

-Hey, bud. How's it going?
-Good. Good.

Galley's doing good.

-Are you running out of gas?
-I'm tired, but, no, I'm good.

I'd like to see you really pull out
all the stops on the presentation.

-Did you like last night's?
-Last night was okay.

It didn't blow me away.

I'm looking for you to get a little
out of your comfort zone.

I want Bruno out of the galley.

I really want these next
two charters to just, like…

Well, last night was a hit.

They said it was one of the
best meals they've ever had.

But I will pull out all the stops.

-If we can, it'd be great.
-Absolutely.

Just keep doing what I do.

-Okay.
-Doing what I do best.

-Good enough.
-Thank you.

I'm so burnt out. It is charter eight.

My ex-girlfriend didn't work out.

I've had criticism up the yin-yang.

I'm done with--I'm not--I'm done. F---.

-Next time on "Below Deck"…
-Oh, handsome.

-I saved you a seat right here.
-All right.

There's always one group of
ladies that are just batsh--.

Captain Lee…
♪ I love you, honey ♪

Cooking for Captain Lee
is actually more intimidating

than cooking for the guests.
I'm pretty sure he's gonna be

the toughest critic in the room.

You don't like scallops?

If they're gummy, I don't like them.

I can't do it. Ew, I won't eat that.

Tonight, I want to get to know Jen.

You could measure on the Richter scale

the things that I'd do to her.

-You're a f---ing idiot.
-Whatever, whore!

Where the f--- do you get off
calling someone a whore?

You're a f---ing liar.

I don't need this sh--!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.