07x17 - Let Them Eat Penis Cake!

[bunniefuu]

[Kate] Previously
on Below Deck...

[Kevin] Have you got the jugs
or the bisque?

-We didn't discuss the gravy boats.
-[Kevin] I know we didn't.

-Can we do anything or no?
-No.

Kate's so checked out
she doesn't even know

really how checked out she is.

Don't [bleep] tell me that.

How would you feel about
another yacht-mance

between Kate and Tanner, whatever?

Well, you already knew that they kissed.

No, I didn't.

Screw you, Kate.

Jemele Hill is a well-known
sports broadcaster.

She wants to have
an all-white dinner party

that I am supposed to attend.

[bleep] off!

I'm saying [bleep]off to you,
you [bleep] prick.

Wait, wait, wait, we've got
one more charter left, bro.

Why are you allowed to do that,
but I'm not allowed to do that?

You're sticking up for the wrong people,
that's why.

[Courtney] I'm just not used to someone
that I care about

being so aggressive.

It's just a little bit shocking.

You've got an agenda tonight, brother.

The amount of Coca-Cola and Cheetos
she's eating, she's probably still awake.

You're a bunch of [bleep].

[bleep] you.

-Get out of my interior.
-Kate, I'm going through.

-Come on.
-How about this?

All I want is people to get into bed.

The rest of it's irrelevant bull [bleep].

Gonna be hell to pay in the morning,
and I'm it, mother[bleep].

[horn blares]

[opening theme music playing]

[Captain Lee] At this hour,
I don't wanna hear slamming doors

and loud voices.

Get into bed, get to sleep,

and be ready to go in the morning.

-Copy that, Cap.
-Copy that.

Holy [bleep]. This is not good.

Well, I'll see you later.

Good talk.

Oh, my God.

Jiminy Cricket, dude.

I hate them.

[crying]

-Night, boys.
-Night, brother.

-I love you.
-Love you too.

[Rhylee] What's up, Kate?

[Kate] They're just awful.

[Rhylee] We all have our breaking points.

Kate might be hard and resting bitch face,

but she's also vulnerable.

I know exactly how she feels.

I would rather have expl*sive diarrhea

than work with these [bleep].

[birds chirping]

We're so not happy.

Everybody hates everybody.

What's up, bro?
It's five past 8:00, let's go.

Jesus Christ.

Look how swollen my eyes are.

Mine... oh, whoa!

If I had started my yachting career

where this kind of behavior was allowed,

I would not still be here.

I'm completely over working
with misogynistic assholes.

If they wanna make me the bad guy,
I can play that game.

-I need a hug.
-Right now?

[Ashton] [bleep] drama last night?

-[Tanner] Plenty.
-Good morning, beautiful.

-How you doing?
-Good, how are you?

[sighs]

This season has been extremely tough.

We've had injuries...

...people quitting, personality issues.

But we're three days from
the season being over,

and these guys are acting like
little children.

I'm pissed, and I'm not
gonna put up with it.

Attention all crew,

I want everybody in the main salon
in 10 minutes.

[bleep]

-Copy that, Cap.
-Copy, Captain.

You think this is gonna be
a morale-boosting pep talk?

I don't think it is.

And then we're
gonna get chewed out by Cap,

and then we're good.

Last night was a nightmare.

What happened?

I came back to the boat
and heard the four males

of the crew saying my name and laughing,

so I said, "What the hell
are you talking about,"

and it got worse.

It was a really delightful conversation.

[Captain Lee] What happened last night,

I really don't give
a flying [bleep] about.

What I care about is going forward,
is this charter.

If anybody here feels
that they can't get along,

go downstairs right now,
pack your [bleep] bags, and leave.

And if anybody thinks that they're safe

just because it's charter nine,

and I won't fire somebody in
the middle of a [bleep] charter,

they don't know me.

That being said,
I don't see anybody getting up to leave.

So let's just go to work.

Two and a half days...
Jesus Christ, I can eat

a [bleep] sandwich every second
for two and a half days.

If I can do it, you guys can do it.

Okay, guys, that's all I got.

-Thank you.
-[Ashton] Thank you, Cap.

Deck crew, deck crew, can we
meet on bridge deck aft, please?

-Copy, on my way.
-[Rylee] [bleep] off.

Is Rhylee joining us for this meeting?

So you heard my first radio call, right?

I just heard that one too.

Which one of you
two wanna work on lates?

I'm doing earlies, Rhylee's doing lates.

Earlies.

Okay, I think me and her are
pretty cool, so it's all right.

Dude, yeah, we've gotta
kinda do some damage control.

-I think you...
-Less drama.

I think you're on the best
terms with her at the moment.

-So let's keep the peace like that.
-Okay. Cool.

My first season as bosun
has not been an easy one,

and I'm absolutely done
with Rhylee's [bleep].

She needs to stay as far
away from me as possible.

Let's [bleep] enjoy it. Let's have fun.

Hi, it's Kate from motor yacht Valor.

I'm gonna need some massage therapists.

-[receptionist] Sounds good.
-Thank you so much.

[Ashton] All crew, all crew,
provisions are here.

-Hello, how are you?
-Coming, coming, coming.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

Thank you.

-Where the [bleep] is my...
-It's over there.

I got them for morale-boosting day.

[Kate] Fancy champagne.

I love this day. So good for morale.

Damn, this lady's real famous.

[Rhylee] Well, she worked for ESPN,
was it?

-Yeah.
-I think they'll be fun.

This is gonna be the best charter ever.

So many prawns, so many things to do,

I haven't even started on the menu.

-[Kate] Okay, you can go back to ironing.
-[Simone] Okay.

-[Tanner] Wanna have a smoke?
-[Kate] Okay.

Hey, listen...
We'll set a sex date.

After the night out or before we go out.

You know what,
let's just let it happen organically.

It's like fight club...
don't talk about it.

He's like, "I would love
to hook up with you."

I'm like, "You said it...
can't happen today."

[bleep] go Whole Foods on that [bleep].

-I don't know what that means.
-Organic.

-Love you.
-Alright. Okay, bye.

[Brian] How are you and Ash,
have you guys spoken?

[Rhylee] No,
I don't anticipate speaking with him.

I'm happy to see you
and Courtney are good.

We're not.

I was like, "Don't take sides
in the whole argument,"

and then she got upset about it,
she stormed off.

So now you guys aren't good again.

No, we're not good.

[Courtney]
Do you think I should talk to Brian?

[Kevin] Yeah, I do.

Just not ready emotionally.

I don't know what's going on with Brian.

He just takes everything
as being disloyal to him.

-You're kind of a bitch.
-Brian!

I'm kind of upset that you took her
[bleep] side over mine.

-I didn't.
-Yeah, you did.

And if you wanna have
a constructive conversation about that,

I'm more than willing.

But if you want to shut me out
for everything

that I say that you don't agree with,
it's not reasonable.

I'm allowed to have opinions
that differ from yours.

[Kate] Are you eating [bleep]?

-[Courtney] It's chocolate.
-Chocolate.

-[Kevin] Hey, Kate?
-Yeah?

Remember that time
I wasn't allowed in the pantry?

You're allowed now.

I figured, since I'm in the galley.

I've done this with Kate
for the last eight charters.

I've got one more charter to go...
I can do this.

Just hold it together, please. Please.

Interior, we are gonna rock.

We rock more than we already do.

-Exactly.
-It's so hard.

I don't know if I can rock any harder!

[Courtney] Brian, wanna have a chat?

Of course. What's happening?

I don't know, you were mad at me.

Don't really know what
I did that was so offensive.

I told you exactly what you did;
sticking up for Kate.

I don't see how that affects us.

You storming off affected everything.

I didn't storm off.

I started crying,
and then you walked to the van,

right past me.

Alright, it's my fault again. No worries.

-That's not what I'm saying, I'm...
-That's exactly what you're saying.

-It's what you say all the time, bru.
-Okay.

Loyalty is a big thing in my life.

All of my friends that I grew up
with come from broken homes,

and the only bond that we had
was each other's friendship.

With Courtney,
I kind of expected that from her.

It's very disappointing
that she doesn't have my back.

It just really rubs me the wrong way.

I'm just not amped for drama anymore,
please.

I'm so sick and tired.
It's the last charter and I'm...

I'm [bleep] done.

I'm just done with all of this [bleep].

I can't be a nice guy all the time, bru.

-[Courtney cries]
-Hey, it's all right.

[bleep]

-[Brian] I'm sorry, man.
-[Kate] What happened?

I hate this boat.

[Tanner] What happened?

Courtney, she's [bleep]
all upset right now.

[Tanner] About what?

[Brian] Because last night, bru.

Then she obviously is crying
and storming off

and now she's crying again
and I feel like a [bleep] idiot.

[Brian] I've been arguing
with Courtney again.

It's just, like,
she's always like, you, you,

you did this, you did this, you did this.

It's never anything that she did.

I'm just fed up. I don't wanna be
in a relationship with someone

where I have to walk on eggshells
in order to accommodate them.

I've never really had a boyfriend.

I don't waste my time on people
that aren't worthy of it.

Every time we have a talk
she runs to Kate and tells her about it.

[Ashton] That would drive me insane.

[Captain Lee] Attention all crew,
the guests will be arriving

in five minutes, thank you.

[Kevin] Last one, last one, last one,
have fun.

[Kate] Let's go.

[Courtney] You're wearing
the wrong skirt, Simone.

-[Simone] What?
-That one's grey.

[Simone groans]

[Kate] It's the last charter,
and I feel like everybody

on the crew is cracking.

[Simone] [bleep] my life.

Have you ever wanted to throw up
and smile at the same time?

Hmm?

[Jemele] All right!

The trip officially begins now.

-Kevin?
-48 hours.

-Hello.
-Hi!

How are you?
I'm Jemele, nice to meet you.

-And I'm Captain Lee.
-Kate, welcome on board.

-I'm Suzette.
-Suzette?

My pleasure, how are you?
-Nice to meet you.

Yeah, I'll take the drinks.
How are you?

-How you doing?
-Good to meet you, hi.

-Jameka.
-Kate, nice to meet you.

Because it's all good, it's all good.

Ladies, welcome to Thailand,
and welcome aboard Valor.

We've got a great few days
laid out for you.

Kate, she's gonna give
you a tour of the boat,

and we'll get outta here
and start the fun.

That's what's up. Let's go.

-[Kate] Hi, right this way.
-Okay, all right.

-Ooh.
-All right.

-This is great.
-That's a cool bag.

Ooh!

So this is your master stateroom.

-Wow.
-Check this out.

I'll be sleeping on the couch.

No, y'all not sleeping with me, so...

-You sharing with us.
-Oh, [bleep]. Bull [bleep].

Deck crew, let's get into position.

So now we'll go up to the sundeck,

-up these stairs right here.
-Thank you.

Up these stairs...
please be careful, watch your step.

[Jemele] Oh, wow, nice.

[Kate] We'll have lunch
around 1:30, underway,

and then you guys will
be jet skiing around 3:00.

-Okay.
-[Captain Lee] All right, let's do it.

Last time, we're going bow
to stern, starting now.

[Tanner] That's all lines on deck,
all lines on deck.

-Captain Lee is fine.
-I think he's kinda cute.

[Jemele] We got some Captain Lee
groupies up in here.

[Tanner] Cap,
your stern is clear of the dock.

[Captain Lee] Good job, everybody.
Well done.

[Jameka] So we're celebrating.
Jemele just got engaged.

And so we have a few little things
that maybe we can do tonight.

[Kate] Sure!

So this is, like, a big balloon thing.

-Okay, thank you.
-But this is like a big sign.

[Kate] Tonight, these final
charter guests want to have

a '90s-themed bachelorette party.

I love the '90s.

As a teenager,
I started going to ska shows

and smoking a lot of pot.

It was so...

dope.

Is that a '90s word?

Oh, my God, I love them so much.

Okay, I'm gonna set the table for lunch.

-Will you pull his plates?
-Yes.

It is hot as Satan's ball sack.

[Courtney] You still need the wing plate
for the tart...

No, no, no, we're gonna
do the parfait bowls.

And then I can put
ingredients on both sides.

Word.

"Word". Is that what you just said?

Yeah, I did.

It's the last charter. Super excited.

You know, we need to show
a top level of service,

you know, and knock their socks
off with something special.

I'm doing fish and crab
tonight with pork wontons.

Okay, that's good.

-It's couscous.
-Yeah.

[Ashton] Did she just take her food
to her room?

-A shame.
-[bleep] big shot.

-Excuse me.
-What's your name?

-Simone.
-Simone?

-Yeah.
-You're from South Africa?

-Yep.
-Okay, what part?

-Johannesburg.
-All right.

-Yeah. Have you been?
-Nice.

I covered the World Cup in 2010.

-I was there for 40 days.
-Oh, wow!

Jemele is incredibly inspiring,

having made such a big name
for herself, you know?

-I was in Joburg...
-Really?

-...Durban, Port Elizabeth...
-That's where I'm from.

-...I went to the Apartheid Museum.
-Yeah?

This woman is just kick-ass.
Like, thank you, charter gods.

-How you ladies doing? Are you hungry?
-Are you ready to move to the lunch table?

-Is it time?
-Yeah.

♪ Let's [bleep] do this ♪

-[bottle pops]
-[gasps]

-[Brian] Which ones are the couple?
-It says it on there somewhere.

-Are they married?
-They live in New York.

Simone, blink twice
if the chef isn't that good.

-No, I'm just playin'.
-[Simone] No, I promise you...

He's really, really good

This is very nice.

-All the same, right?
-All the same.

We'll toast to I'm gonna
be a full missus.

[all cheer]

For the first meal today,
we've got blue swimmer crab

in some olive oil and lemon,

and just fennel shaved on the top there.

Did you put your love in this salad?

There's so much love in there.

Because I swear, when I taste it,
if I don't feel this love,

Kate gonna get cussed out about it.

No, I'm kidding.

-Okay.
-Thank you.

I'm totally kidding.

Oh, my God, this is delicious!

Oh, my God.
This is everything right here.

This is really good.

I don't need these. Courtney knows.

Uh, I understand that there will be times

where I won't be in the galley
because I'm doing other things,

but I still want to know
all the elements of the meals, okay?

Yeah, but you're not around, Kate.

Thank you.

[bleep] weirdo.

-Two sh*ts, let's drop it sometime today.
-[Brian] Copy that.

-Two sh*ts, Cap.
-Roger that. Good job.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

-Should I get the yellow line or anything?
-[Brian] Yeah,

-just get the yellow line out.
-Okay.

Hey, Kate, can you give
us an idea of, like,

what's happening the rest of the day?

-We're going to go jet skiing...
-Okay.

-...and then dinner at 8:30.
-Okay.

We'd like to do 09:00.

-Okay.
-Of course.

I'm not here to have my
dinnertime set by somebody else.

Whenever it's time to have dinner,
we're gonna have dinner.

It's just like I wanna make sure
it's set to our schedule,

not their schedule.

-Right.
-Right.

It's so good.

-Yes!
-Yes!

-[Jemele] Yes, it was a perfect lunch.
-You hit it.

[Captain Lee] And you can take them
over there jet skiing,

if you go over with them.

Now we have the water toys.

Okay, go.

Do you want a new water?

No, I'm great.

I got water in my ice from earlier.

-In there.
-Yeah.

You guys ready?

Oh, no!

-You wanna hop on this one?
-I'm not gonna fall in the water, right?

-No, not at all.
-She can't swim.

Oh, my God,

I'm scared already.

Bye, b*tches.

Oh, my God.

Sorry.

-There you are.
-Thank you.

Absolutely.

[Jameka]That was fun.

Cool, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

It's really good. Thank you.

There's some interesting service
issues here in Thailand.

Yeah.

-That's a nice way to put it.
-We have observed.

This is a stern observation. It's like...

a coolness.

Like, interact with us.

Are we getting on your nerves?

She seemed like
you're getting on her nerves.

I felt...

You know she was just busy doing her job.

Everybody has interacted with us
pretty much the same amount.

Did we do something wrong?

[Tanner] Deck crew, deck crew,
let's pull all the water toys in.

[Rhylee] Okay.

And up. You're good.

Rhylee, take a two hour break
and come back at 6:30 in your blacks.

-Okay.
-[Kate] Can I get you anything?

Promise me you will not cuss me out
if I ask you something.

-Cuss her out!
-No.

I mean, we're not getting
on your nerves, are we?

No, I'm so sorry you feel that way.

It was just like the energy,
like, I was just like, are we...

I hope we're not getting on her nerves.

I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone,
because she's acting like Dean on Ohana.

-Hi.
-Kate?

-Yes?
-You're scaring all of us.

You're coming off kind of bitchy.

You're in Thailand, on a yacht.

Look elsewhere for satisfaction
besides my face.

Am I getting on your nerves?

No. In fact, can I get you anything else?

That sounds like that's a setup.

Hit her again with that
nice nasty again, Kate.

I'm about to get on your nerves, Kate.

Challenge accepted.

Well, we made...

What a [bleep]

[Jemele] I buy all my [bleep] myself.

I've never asked for a dude
to buy me hair.

but I've never had a dude
that bought me hair.

-Hair?
-Yeah.

You just ask for the money
and wherever it lands, it lands.

Bills, weaves, automobiles...

[Kate] I'm sorry,
but I think that woman's a [bleep].

-[Rhylee] Which one?
-The primary.

She's full of [bleep].

And she takes me out,
in front of her friends,

and basically says,
"We aren't getting on your nerves?"

You know what? You weren't until now.

-How long have you been in yachting?
-For like two years.

If I were your age, like, to me,

-this would be like a dream job.
-Yeah?

You're the first Black woman
I've ever seen on charters.

-Like, you never see...
-I know you don't.

Yeah.

I like doing things
that are out of the ordinary.

Do you think that
maybe she was saying it

because she's like,
are we being too demanding?

There hasn't been enough interaction

for them to make a judgment.

[Simone] These guests are just amazing.

They are really just what we needed.
[laughs]

They're a godsend.

I still think she's a [bleep].

[Kate] Courtney and Simone,
can you please change into your blacks?

Just push that side up, here it comes.

-Iron it inside-out?
-Yeah.

What's up, you sexy librarian?

Thank you.

♪ That smells like heaven ♪

♪ Or should I say Kevin ♪

Lunch went well.
Kate wasn't around, so it went well.

A little bit of a Thai thing tonight.

I've made pork wontons
and I've wrapped up the snapper

again in the banana leaf,

because I think it works awesome,

and I'm serving it with some local mango.

And then Jemele's two favorite things

are peanut butter and chocolate,

so I'm putting these
two together in a pie,

and it is gonna be banging.

That looks so pretty.

[Tanner] Pretty nice sunset.

Your hair's so pretty.

[Kevin] I stick-a the weed in there.

[Courtney] It's like bioluminescence.

[Kate] Uh-huh. That's what I'm going for.

-Yeah.
-Come on!

The sweet, neat Jemele.

-Looking good?
-Looking good.

All right, let's do it.

Drink up, b*tches.

Let's just take all of the letters off,

and just leave "bitch."

She was totally an assh*le.

-[Courtney] Who, Jemele?
-Yeah, just like,

"Are we getting on your nerves?
Because I don't wanna get on your nerves.

"Tell me if I'm getting on your nerves."
I'm like...

-You are now.
-So I liked Jemele before,

but now that she's putting
Kate on the spot,

I'm like...
[sing-songy] I love you.

-Like...
-Yeah.

So if it's a "yes," we drink.
If you haven't done it, you don't drink.

I'm sorry, I've never...

Never have I ever used sex as a w*apon.

-Oh.
-Oh [bleep]

[all laugh]

-I'm like come on, now.
-Hi, come on over.

"Never have I ever been
spanked while having sex."

Oh...

Bye-bye.

-Do you wanna take your harness down?
-Let's get the jet skis in, please.

If you guys wanna move to the table,

-we're ready to serve dinner.
-All right.

-[Ashton] That's good.
-[Brian] Just another bump.

It's pretty.

[bleep] God, Mr. Mango.

Deck crew, deck crew,
can you do me a favor

and help us decorate the sky lounge

for a bachelorette party?

[Brian] Yeah, of course,
I'm coming up now.

-[Kate] Brian?
-Yeah.

Here's a bunch of
party favors for Rhylee.

She'll help you.

-Do you have any penis things for us?
-Yep.

You have to... Come with me.
I mean, come as in come...

Normally, I would not be super-enthused

to be throwing a party
for a charter guest that was so rude.

But because this party's
all about shoving dicks

in her face, I'm into it.

I am that cocky.

Once the crab's on, we can start going.

Oh, okay.

We ride together, we die together, yeah?

"Future Mrs., Drink up, b*tches."

So you have an explanation for us?

What do we got?

Yeah, I've steamed the fish
in banana leaf,

and then sliced fresh mango
here from Thailand.

And then you've got crispy
soft-shell crab, also local.

It should be tasty.

Did we talk about orgasms earlier?

I'm having one at the table... hello.

[laughter]

Delicious!

He k*lled it.

Hey, Kevin, they're so happy.

Wait until they have this
peanut butter [bleep] tart.

Never have I drawn
a penis until tonight.

-Look at that floppy piece.
-Okay, let's go.

-What's for dessert?
-More delicious.

If this is chocolate and peanut butter...
I will love you.

-I swear to God...
-How'd you know?

We gonna make out right now.
We're making out.

-You and Kevin.
-You're so aggressive.

It doesn't need any explanation...

it's chocolate and peanut butter.

Oh, yeah.

Whenever you guys are ready,

the bachelorette party
will be in the sky lounge.

It's the '90s.

Are you all going to change as well?

-Yeah, '90s party.
-That's right.

Once they leave the table,

I want you to go run down
and get something '90s-ish on.

Okay.

The pressure's on.

I gotta be like this
Janet Jackson reincarnated [bleep].

I'm trying to be Scary Spice.

I'm wearing mom jeans.

Bachelorette parties are fun,
and I love the '90s.

Spice Girls, Tamagotchi...

I mean, I wouldn't really know,

because I was five, but I loved it.

Hey, look.

Oh, my god, did you guys
cut these dicks out?

They cut the dicks out!

-You get a penis.
-You get a penis.

You get a penis, you get a penis,

everybody gets a penis... let's go!

Oh!

"Future Mrs., Drink up, b*tches."

You're getting married!

I'm... I should... number two.

[snoring]

-[Jemele] Courtney's bringing sh*ts.
-sh*ts!

-Shot, shot, shot.
-Shot, shot, shot!

Wait, wait, wait,
time out, time out, time out.

All right, look,
allow me for my two-minute rant.

-Okay.
-It's about to get loud.

Hey...

-Put your [bleep] down.
-Put your [bleep] down.

I'm about to make
a real awkward transition.

You're like, "abort, abort!"

-You know what, Kate.
-She's horrible.

You're looking for reasons to get
mad at me, fire and aim.

-Kate, can I say, like...
-All right, what you gotta say?

All right, what you gotta say?

Kate, can I say, like, hey, I'm sorry.

Because early on, I feel like
you got the wrong impression.

Honestly, at the beginning,
I judged you prematurely.

-Aw.
-I'm sorry.

-Are you having a great time?
-I am having a...

That's what's important.
That's all I wanna know.

-It is.
-[Kate] I love an apology.

This season, I've been called a bitch
more times than I've been called Kate.

But you know what,
a bitch recognizes a bitch,

so I feel like there's some
respect happening right now.

Toast to Kate...

Toast to Kate.

...for not being a bitch back to a bitch.

-Now I have to take this.
-And for Jemele for being one.

[cheering]

What did she say to you?
Did she apologize or something?

Yeah, dramatically.

"I'm saying I talked so much
[bleep] about you"... it's fine.

Man, I'm drunk.

Like, I'm so drunk!

Where you going?

My goodness!

-Simone, go ahead and knock off.
-Okay, cool.

And then just take
eight and a half hours.

-Okay.
-Wait.

-This is your bedroom, right?
-This is my bedroom.

Mic drop! Mic drop!

I'll see you in the morning.

-What time we board?
-Nine-ish?

Too early.

[alarm beeping]

-Is Jemele up?
-I don't know.

I don't think she was getting up
anytime soon, right?

She said don't come knocking.

I'm not. I've been sitting here...
like... nope.

I'm not getting yelled at!

Morning, Cap.

[Kate] Whenever you're ready,
you can move to the table for breakfast.

-Thank you.
-Thank you so much.

Start pulling.

[Brian] Anchor's at the waterline.

Anchor's in the pocket.

Good job, let's get outta here.

Last night...

I was just trying to feel like I'm queasy,

like I've had too much to drink.

-The primary's not up, or...
-Yes.

Between Danielle and Jemele,

every time we put one down they were like,

"Bring another one."

Jemele, when she's drunk, is turnt up.

[Jemele snoring]

The last full day, bro.

I know, I keep saying
it's like the last day of school.

Senior year!

Let's all get along for one last time.

We're graduating today!

Ashton, Rhylee,
they're not talking to anyone.

Brian and Courtney, they're on the rocks.

But I still am hopeful with Kate.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

Let's see if she comes to me.

This is exactly what I want.

-I'm gonna have you drop the hook.
-Um...

So myself and the boys
will pull the tender in,

and then you can ready the anchor.

Okay. Do you wanna... do you want me to...

-I'm sorry?
-Never mind.

I just love that you're
passed out, like, already.

I know.

I couldn't tell you how I got back
to my room last night.

I woke up and I was like,
"I'm naked, but I'm alone,

"that's the important thing."

-Yeah, we were good.
-Yeah.

-I think Suzette helped.
-We all walked for, like, moral support.

-Yeah.
-It was a good night, then?

-It was a great night.
-Yeah.

Good. Would you like some breakfast?

Bring me a shot of bourbon.

I love it.

Two sh*ts, drop.

Copy, Cap, two sh*ts.

-Two sh*ts, Cap.
-Okay, lock it in.

That's a good line.

See that accuracy there?

We're a little bit off, but...

-What's that?
-A muffin.

-Duh. You made it, remember?
-Yeah.

I'm nervous about this cock cake,
have you got any ideas?

What are the nerves for?

I think it's thinking
about the d*ck too much.

These guests have requested
an erotic cake for Jemele.

An erect one?

Yeah, I can make an erect one
that stands up.

Good.

I've never made a free-standing cock.

I need to make it big,

and I don't wanna half-ass
this stuff, you know?

We're going to get massages
at the beach.

Then you'll have lunch,
and we'll have drinks.

-We're having lunch on the beach?
-Yeah. Lunch at 12:30.

Look at this organizashe!

[Kevin] It's a bloody barbie, mate.

Get your shrimp on the barbie, mate.

-You coming with, Courts?
-Nope.

[Brian] Fair enough.

All right, so I'm gonna put
the garnish on the side.

I put prawn and lamb.

I'm gonna wrap the lamb and the prawns...

I don't understand, why wouldn't you
put them in a large Tupperware?

Then I would open the Tupperware...

-And take it out...
-...and I can put them on the...

Because all the juice and everything...

like, don't worry,
we're k*lling this planet quicker

than I am, Saran-Wrapping things.

-It's not about the planet...
-Anyway...

-...it's about me.
-...the other thing is...

It's when I'm on the sand, it's hot

and there's all this Saran Wrap,
and I'm just like...

I can handle it okay, so
anyway, and the next thing...

Let's just use Tupperware.

-You know how you got the plastic bowls?
-Yeah?

I was wondering if
I could use these instead...

like, these kind of lay out.
Is that all right?

Do you want me to serve
the guests in this crockery?

Yeah... it's not like a tossed salad...

both of these salads aren't
tossed, they kinda lay...

It's more like a casserole?
So you want it in the casserole dish?

No, I'll put it in...

I don't know why you're being
a d*ck about this.

I'm not being...

The [bleep] plastic Ikea bowls
are sh[bleep] compared to these.

I'm not being a d*ck about it.

I'm trying to explain to you
that we have a lot of [bleep] to carry,

and I'm the one lifting it,

I'm the one serving it.

But if this makes you happy,
let's do it.

At this point, I am so sick
and tired of every word

that comes out of Kevin's mouth.

Everything's gotta be a fight with him.

You girls comes through with the sides.
All of us boys serve the steaks.

I was [bleep] pissed off.

You made me and the girls
the side b*tches.

Do you mind if I put the cold wine
back in the cold fridge?

-No.
-Is it just your fridge?

Yeah, it is.

You called me a d*ck
over casserole dishes?

I don't even know why this is...
we're having this conversation,

because I can't get a word in.

I have this gift of creative revenge
that I only use when I'm very angry.

Well, congratulations, Kevin,

you've made me very angry.

-All right, wanna go set up?
-That's a good idea.

We kinda wanna claim the spot.

Do you wanna go?
I just wanna stay in the shade.

-Yeah, I'll go.
-How you doing, Rhy?

-Good.
-You and I will just hang here.

Okay, whatever. I'm good with whatever.

Get paid to take a break all charter.

Up until this point, I've been
doing things on Rhylee's terms.

Everything she was not happy
about last year,

I've made a concerted effort
to do it differently this season.

But I just feel defeated.

How much more do I need to do
to satisfy Rhylee,

the junior deckhand with the most to say?

Yeah, you're cool with everything
until we all hear about it tomorrow night?

[bleep] hell.

I don't understand why
we're taking these [bleep] bins.

[Ashton] Kate, the masseuses are here.

Oh! All right, ladies.

[Kate] Kevin is having a panic attack
about his kale.

So much drama with the crew, but...

I'm just happy we didn't get assholes.

[Simone] I know.

I think this is the yin and the yang,
like the balance, you know?

Honestly, Kate is like, the worst human
I've ever had to work with.

It was full on the other night.

-Go around.
-Can I walk up and around?

Go... I don't care what you do.

Get out of my interior. Go that way.

-[Simone] It was hectic.
-I like how you stay out of it.

-I only react when needed.
-Yeah.

It pisses her off that I'm not reacting,
so that's why I'm not doing it.

Kate, she just knows how
to push your buttons.

-I'm sorry, but...
-No, I'm your biggest fan.

-It's just my space.
-No, it's a fridge.

-Kate, Kate, Kev.
-What?

Kate, Kate, Kev.

Are there any guests up?

Yeah, they're all up
and it's hectic up here.

Okay, sorry, I'll be right up.

On all the other boats
that I've worked on,

you always get along with your chief stew,

and you make an effort
for both of you to shine.

But there's no trust here
between me and Kate.

She hasn't got my back whatsoever.

It's kinda sad, really.

There's only so many [bleep] pointless
things you can argument about.

[Simone] Yeah. Duty calls.

We'll set the gazebo up
to cover that side,

and then the massages
will be through that little area.

No words. So cool.

Water? Champagne?

Tequila.

Yes, I like it.

It's just the [bleep] ants are biting me.

Oh, my God!

-You're getting tan.
-Yeah.

I'm trying to sweat out
some of this alcohol.

You're in the right place to do it.

Careful of the guests.
They don't wanna to get into that.

It'll be fine. They'll stay in the tree.

We're gonna head back
in to get the guests, alright?

Okay, sounds good, thank you.

-Kevin, Kevin, Ash.
-Yeah, go ahead, Ash.

We'll probably be leaving
with the guests in about 10 minutes.

[Kevin]
Copy that, mate.

Take your time. Seriously, go slow.

It's all right, it's all right.

Kev, it's all right, it's all right.

Okay, we're ready to go.

Here we go. That's it.
[laughter]

We're going backwards.

[laughter]

Your nose between your hands.

All right, all right, ready, go.

[Ashton]
It's our last beach picnic,

and normally these things
are a pain in the ass.

But this one is absolutely incredible.

There's this hidden little gem of a beach.

I cannot think of a better way
to finish off the season.

This is epic.

You and me got all this ass in here.

[Kate] Welcome sh*ts for everybody.

Yes.

So here's to beautiful experiences
and beautiful people.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

[Kate] So just so you know,

we've got three masseuses
right over there.

The first group can go
while you guys eat lunch.

-Does that sound good?
-Yep, good.

Perfect.

All right, I will go get a massage.

-That's awesome.
-Would you like salad?

Yes.

Would you like grilled lamb
with pomegranate?

I would like two chops.

Look at what we get to look at
while we're eating.

Kate, this is delicious,
it's really good.

-Our favorite meal so far.
-Really, he'll be so happy to hear that.

Eggs are pretty gross.

They are, but they're cool.

[Danielle] Oh, my Gosh.

Talk dirty to me.

Well, I'm glad I got a wax, child.

Keep going... keep going.

Oh, [bleep] [laughs]

I'm just thinking I'd just shape a d*ck.

d*ck cake.

Like I make a base,
roll that around some piping...

Cotton candy tubes.

Mash the whole d*ck,
and then on the head of the penis

-I'm gonna put golden foil.
-Just go Betty Cocker on it.

Oh, gosh.

It feels amazing.

Let's do it, let's make a cock.

That's gonna be a girthy cock.

Yeah.

[bleep]

[laughs] Oooh...

I feel like I gotta marry her.

[Kevin] I don't wanna
around with this too much.

That is not what I want.

This is harder than I expected.

[Courtney] Very interesting.

I'm gonna freeze it like that...

-Yeah.
-...so it's stiff.

Oh-oh.

-Great job.
-Yay!

It's so pretty and perfect.

That [bleep] massage was everything.

Like, my body feels so mushy after that.

Ashton, the guests
are finishing up lunch,

-and I think the massages are almost done.
-Copy.

[sighs in relief]

-Muscle!
-Hey.

Ooh! [bleep]

-[Kate] Yep.
-[Ashton] Get it?

How was the picnic and the massages?

-It was great.
-Great.

-Well, I've got some towels there too.
-Do you want a popsicle?

Don't do the coconut.

How did lunch go down, good?

The one was like, "I would say this is
the best food that I've ever gotten,

but the food's just always been
so great, I can't decide."

-That's nice.
-Yeah.

-Keep it in gear, forward.
-Watch out.

It's a little easier to maneuver,
the lighter it gets.

I think dinner's ready,
if you wanna go eat.

-All right, I'll see you in a bit.
-Coolio, bro.

-[Kate] Your d*ck looks amazing.
-Yeah, it's nice.

Takes one to make one.

Brian, I washed your shirt.
It's just hanging in the laundry room.

[Brian] Thank you.

I wish things would go back to normal.

I really hate drama,
and I really hate awkwardness.

I get to the point where I'm just like,
I'm [bleep] over it.

But I probably will talk to her
to see if I can sort it out.

I don't know what's gonna happen.

Can you come do this?

I need you to say it out loud
what you need me to do.

-Spatula, chocolate, all over your cock?
-[bleep] off.

[Danielle] Yo, I might have to steal it.
She representing LV.

Captain, Captain, Kate.
I'm setting the table.

It seems very windy out here.

It has no chance of dying down.

[Captain Lee]
Doesn't appear so.

[Kevin] These guests,
they're really just loving people.

You wanna kind of go the extra mile
for those sort of people.

So for this final dinner tonight
I've made this beautiful crab ravioli,

and then I've got Wagyu skirt steak.

She's soft, baby...
not like my cock cake, though,

I'll tell you that.

Just a head's up,
we're doing dinner in the main salon.

It's so windy.

That's good.

We're having dinner inside.

Dinner.

-We were, like...
-Very, very nice.

-All the guests are at the table.
-Thanks.

Cheers.

-Hey.
-Hi.

Hello.

-[Kate] So we're all going, all the same.
-[Kevin] All the same.

-Ladies, how are we?
-What is this?

This is a crab ravioli,
and we've got corn cream there.

-It's delicious.
-Thank you.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

It's so good, right?

-Yeah.
-That is delicious.

That is so good. I'm like, what is that?

This primary, she drinks sh*ts
of whiskey for breakfast.

I'm from Detroit.

-I'm from Saginaw.
-Detroit... what?

You from the Sag-nasty.

Usually when you do that,
you don't make it to dinner or dessert.

Captain Lee! You're my dawg!

We have a little palate-cleanser.

Yeah, right, that's a palate-cleanser.

Yes.

[all cheer]

[Kevin] Let's garnish this cock out, baby.

You guys are having skirt steak,
mashed potatoes,

-and honey-roasted carrots.
-Thank you.

I don't wanna touch it too much.

This is so delicious, right?
It's really good.

Get in!

This has been an amazing charter,

and probably one of my best of the season.

I'm getting more and more into this.

This had to be a cock,
as a request from the guests.

So I'm gonna make it the best
g*dd*mn cock cake I can,

and... so happy to finish
on such a high note with these guys.

My first cock cake.

Come on, Kevin, don't tease us.

Boom!

-[Jameka] I wanna keep this party going.
-[Captain Lee] Hell, yeah.

Let's have some fun.

[whispers] I need like, an hour nap.

Can you sit through dessert
and then go?

[Jemele] Need to go right now.

[Suzette whispers] She's not coming back.

This is perfect.

Kevin put a lot of effort into this cake,
and Jemele went to bed.

[Danielle] What are you
gonna do when you retire?

-Like, what's the plan?
-I'm not retiring.

This entire season,
Kevin has been a d*ck to me.

And yeah, I acted like a bitch,
but guess what, I am a bitch.

I've just been hiding it,
but now you've awoken the bitch,

and there's no going back.

-Let's go with the cake.
-Let's do it.

-I have sparklers for you.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think once people pack it in
and not do anything,

you might as well lay down
and let somebody start shoveling dirt.

You're gonna set it down
right to the left of the Captain, okay?

-Thank you.
-My pleasure.

Once this lights, it's go time.
You go out.

I'd like to do something
where I help take care of kids

that really need it.

And I've been doing
a lot of stuff with charity.

You should be very proud.

My eyes... go. Go, go, go.

I'm super-excited to show this to Jemele
and present this out on the table.

I want all the guests to be super happy
and super wow, and amazing.

I've put a lot of love into this.
Here goes nothing.

Are the lights dimmed out?

Doing something useful with your life
will keep you alive a lot longer...

-Wow.
-Oh...

-Um...
-Wow!

We were having such a grown-up,
awesome conversation.

And then penis came into the room.

[Kate] Karma is my spirit animal.

She's such a bitch,

and she always gets
the people who deserve it.

-Where is she?
-She went to bed.

Who's the d*ck now, Kevin?

Um...

I'm not taking a bite.

[Kevin] I've never been
so [bleep] embarrassed.

This is a pretty evil bitch move.

In comes this huge d*ck, I was like, oh...

[Ashton] I think it's pretty clear that
you and I have our differences,

and I think it goes
a little bit deeper than work.

You and I are just two different people,
and that's okay.

-Tanner, you're so cute.
-I know, right?

Tonight's the last night.

Odds are looking pretty good in my favor.

-Kate, come here.
-Get it, get it, get it.

-Go ahead.
-Get it, get it.

-I wanna kiss you.
-O-M-G.

I don't wanna end things on a bad note.

The big mess-up
is when you stopped caring.

I was a good enough chief stew
to make you a [bleep] ton of money,

you [bleep] d*ck.

-Go. Go.
-No, no, no...

No sailor ever learned
anything in calm seas.