- Previously on below deck...
- I had this boss.
Every day I got a new present.
- I'm thinking
all she wants is a sugar daddy.
That's really shallow.
- Yeah.
- I hate that I was not there
for you through,
Like, mom and dad's divorce.
- Don't regret anything.
I miss my sister a lot, and--
- [Screams]
- I was hoping to, you know,
Break the rules a little bit.
- Break the rules?
There's a light
at the end of the tunnel,
And my boyfriend's face.
- I'm gonna flirt with you,
but it's all in fun and games.
- Yeah, that doesn't have
disaster written all over it
Or anything.
- Andrew.
- Andrew is excellent
at screwing up.
- I promise everybody
gets an equal share.
Andrew.
- You don't deserve a tip.
So basically,
go and work your ass off
Instead of standing in here.
- Now you're just being a d*ck,
but, okay.
[Upbeat music]
♪♪ ♪♪
- Here's to a great season.
- I'm not letting you go home
if I go out.
- All right,
I'll do the kicking.
- Okay.
- We're gonna break the swing.
[Indistinct chatter]
- Slow down!
- [Screams]
- oh!
- You all right?
- [Bleep].
- Oh, god.
- [Bleep].
- Clear the way, please.
- Hey, buddy, what hit?
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Oh, my gosh.
Is that blood?
- Hey, hey.
- Oh, my god.
- Kelley.
- What hit?
- Jennice, what happened?
- The swing flipped upside down,
and he just fell back.
- Oh, my--
what?
- I'm shaking.
- We all fell off,
and I don't know.
I think he--
- but he's okay.
- Well, we're gonna
find out, okay?
- Let's go sit.
- What the [bleep]?
This is not good.
I really hope kelley
Does not have
a serious head injury right now.
That would leave me with andrew,
and he wouldn't survive.
- I'm gonna grab my shoes
and purse,
And I'm going with you.
- Can I see your eyes?
- Okay.
You hit so hard.
Literally, I heard it
It really scared me.
- There's a big swing
at the bar over cement steps.
- Kelley fell off it,
hit his head.
- Yeah.
- He's going to the hospital.
- Can we see a doctor?
- God, I hope kelley's okay.
- I know.
I've been glancing at the dock
To see
if they come walking down.
- God damn,
I hope they get back soon.
- See, I like this.
I like it when it's me and you.
- All right,
let's get fat and drunk.
- So kelley's got
a medical emergency.
Everyone's thinking
the night's over.
Not me.
No. Never.
How much time do we have?
All night.
- That's brilliant.
Kat and i, we have a good time.
You know,
were both terribly behaved.
Oh, whiskey. Hello, old friend.
But, yeah, she's cool.
- You get whiskey.
I'll bring the champagne.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, love.
[Chuckles]
I could get used to this.
- I know.
- You want me to make you
a little plate?
- That's all right.
You take your time.
[Laughter]
[Indistinct chatter]
Ben is my all-time favorite.
I adore him.
If I'm crazy,
ben's a lunatic.
[Laughter]
If I was to wake up
tomorrow single,
It would be a no-brainer.
Ben and kat obviously
have a history together.
- What their relationship
now is a...
Mystery to me.
- What's going on with eddie?
He hasn't really been himself,
has he?
- I think he's stressed out.
- Okay, put it this way.
He has quite a sort of--
I don't know if he can
exactly rely on his team.
- Of course he can't.
Kelley's in the hospital.
- And the other one's gonna
flood the boat,
And his other one is great,
But I mean, she couldn't drag
a 165-pound body
Out of anywhere.
- I couldn't do it.
- I mean, she couldn't save
eddie's life, could she?
I mean,
if something happened to eddie,
He'd be pretty much screwed,
wouldn't he?
- Couldn't agree with you more,
darling.
[Laughter]
- Did you hear that?
- We were not talking about you.
- Yes, we were.
- You're just talking about
some other guy named eddie?
- Maybe we were saying--
- The other eddie
on the other boat.
On the other boat. Over there.
I'm just saying
you don't exactly have a very
Good team behind you, dude.
- Andrew is a complete tool,
bottom line.
- We're about to go
through six weeks of hell,
And we have a massive weak link.
Do you have a replacement?
- Do we need a replacement?
- Yes, you do.
- No, we don't.
- That's pretty [bleep]
ignorant.
- Ben and kat are wasted,
and, like,
Yelling about things they
shouldn't be worried about.
Have you been on the deck
all day today?
- I didn't have to be.
- I don't want to just
give up on somebody,
Because I've screwed up
in my life
And I've had people
not give up on me.
- You see that he's not
worthy of his job...
- All right.
- So therefore,
You need to replace him
with someone more worthy.
- What the [bleep]?
Deal with the galley.
Deal with the interior.
Back off.
- I'm definitely worried
about kelley.
He's the one person this boat
that I'm the closest with,
That I have a connection with,
and I hope he's okay.
- [Bleep].
- I know.
- So kat and I did have
a little thing on honor.
- Come on!
- And I think a part of kat
Has kind of
carried that over to ohana,
And it's a really awkward
situation
Because I have a girlfriend
I'm really happy with.
I love her, and I miss her.
- No.
[Laughs]
- I'm getting, like,
three hours of sleep,
And when I'm, like,
not getting much sleep,
That's when I just start to feel
like I'm dreaming all day long.
I don't even feel like I'm real.
Like, "wow. This sucks
to be me right now."
But I have to just bust my ass
harder than ever
And prove myself.
Oh! Son of a bitch.
[Bleep].
- What do you think?
Deck shoes?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Hey, when you're done
with the towels,
Can you get a bottle
of veuve chilling?
- You feeling all right?
- I'm feeling great, actually.
- No after effects?
- I little sore in my back, but-
- That's to be expected.
- Other than that, you know,
luckily I have such a hard head.
- That works.
- What are you doing
right now, man?
See right next to that candle
over there,
There's those power lock--
those two-way locks--
The velcro is, like, on it?
- Okay.
- Take that up into
the starboard bosun locker.
Okay?
- Starboard bosun locker?
As soon as i--
go up from these stairs here?
- Dealing with andrew
is top priority right now.
I'd really would like
to see him succeed.
I would like to see him do well.
It would make me feel
like I succeeded in my job.
- Wait.
- What?
- The velcro--
what were you saying?
Oh, you wanted me to just load
into the bosun locker--
- Cover first,
then the velcro, then--
- [Speaking indistinctly]
okay.
- Man, oh, man.
- I'm overwhelmed as hell.
I don't want people to continue
to think I'm not pushing myself
And doing my best.
- Hey, ben, I got the provision
sheets for the next charter.
Risotto, black truffle.
Is this music to your ears?
- Yeah.
- So they're from california.
The primary owns a tech company.
Oh, they're celebrating
their anniversary
And their first trip
with no kids.
- She's quite pretty, I think.
- Yeah, she's married to him.
- Is he pretty?
- Yes.
I would love to get married
because once you get older,
The stewardess thing,
it's not so cute.
So if I'm still doing yachting
in five years,
You might have
to put me on su1c1de watch.
- Not many dislikes. "Love you."
Getting better by the minute.
- Yeah.
- But you never know what's
around the corner, do you?
- Nope.
- Oh, my god.
Oh, mint for mojitos.
- [Laughs]
- Mojitos are the worst.
First you add mint,
and then you add lime,
And then you add granulated
sugar, and you muddle that,
And then you
add some simple syrup,
And then you add some rum,
And nobody
is ever happy with mojitos.
"It's too limey."
"It's too sweet."
"It's too minty."
"It's not minty enough."
"It's too fizzy."
"Can you add more bubbles?"
- [Laughs]
- [Bleep] mojitos.
- Coming up...
- I hate to do this,
but it is weighing on me.
- Uncomfortable, isn't it?
- I'm terrified, actually.
- Good.
You should be.
- Attention all crew, I've got
less than two and a half hours
To go before our guests
get here.
Make sure you leave enough time
to get into your dress whites.
- Copy.
Everyone should have
ironed white shirts.
- Roger that.
- No idea how this thing goes...
I got this one to start.
[Sighs]
[Muttering]
[bleep].
I can't figure this thing out,
And it's, like,
buttons and weirdness, and--
- Okay, they're not buttons.
They're pull tabs.
- Right, no, no,
I know how to put them in.
It's just like a jigsaw.
Like, I can't seem to match it
up to what it--
It just looks all the same.
I'm bunching it
and switching it and--
- All right, well, then you get
kelley to take care of it.
- Kelley, what's the location
right now? You on the sun deck?
- Dude, well,
you teach me 'cause i--
- Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
- If I had more time.
- That's what I'm doing.
I'm coming down here
to teach you.
- I'm just not a jigsaw
specialist, like, jigsaw puzzle.
The certain thing
right here has a lot of buttons.
A lot of figuring out...
- Okay, like I said--
- Where the buttons go.
- Look.
- My brain is, like,
in overdrive now.
- I told you to find the u,
right? Okay?
I told you to find the u, right?
- Yeah, you said to find the u.
I don't even know
what you meant by that.
- What's the shape?
- It's a u.
- Okay.
- This task right here is just--
It's just a lot
right now for me.
I just--if I was at home,
I was like,
"Oh, I got to figure this out",
I'll sit down and give it time,
But I got a lot of pressure.
People are expecting me
to [bleep] move right now,
And I just don't have the time
to sit here and, "okay, the u,"
And people are gonna look at me
like, "oh, come on. Move."
- You're getting wound up for
no [bleep] reason, and that's--
- Well, I have a lot
of good reason to be wound up.
- Well, but--no, no.
- There's a lot of good reason
to be wound up.
- You need to know
how to [bleep] do this.
- Everyone's relatively
good looking, huh?
- Oh,
they're incredibly good looking.
- She looks familiar.
- Yeah, she does.
- I know, she does.
- I really think
she's an actress.
- That's what I thought.
I thought she looked
a little famous.
Is she famous? Is she?
Is it someone famous?
[Laughter]
- Hey.
- It's been a rough,
rough first charter.
Like, so rough.
This is hard for anybody.
Never mind having to be plagued
with some anxiety crap.
I have had anxiety
since a young boy,
And I've learned to get over it.
What triggers my anxiety,
this boat.
- I'm just trying to not cr*ck.
- I'm, like, in love
with all of these.
- They're adorable.
Super cute.
- This person is gonna
do my wedding flowers.
- You have wedding bells
in your future?
- No.
- [Laughs]
- Captain lee,
captain lee, andrew.
[Beep]
Captain lee,
captain lee, andrew.
- Come up to the wheelhouse,
please.
- I've never been
in a situation this pressurized.
Usually, I'm chill.
I don't have anxiety att*cks.
But I'm just overwhelmed,
and I'm so stressed out.
My head is spinning.
- Have a seat.
Just going over
some weather here.
- I hate to do this.
- That tells me I'm probably
gonna hate it more than you do.
- But it is weighing on me.
It's weighing on me--
uh, i...
I really embellished my resume.
- Embellish is another word
for lying.
- Yeah, that's why I didn't want
to really tell you.
I really wanted
to have this adventure, and i--
- What on your resume was true?
- I'm--i don't think you
get much anymore inexperienced
Than I am at this point.
- My first inclination
is to kick your ass to the curb
Right now, pack your [bleep],
Get off the boat, which would
leave us shorthanded.
It's scary to hire
off a piece of paper.
Who puts down on their resume,
"I'm the biggest [bleep] up
in the world"?
Nobody.
Integrity is something
that I value and place a...
- I know.
- Great deal of importance on,
And you've shown me none.
Zip.
- I just want to say
that I see so much value
In serving under you
and the crew that I found,
And I want to prove to them,
To myself, to this journey,
That it's worth it
'cause I really believe it is,
And I want to stay on board.
I don't want to be let go.
- If I keep you here,
you start out less than low.
Everybody onboard is your boss.
And if I don't see
you making it up,
You will be on a plane
out of here.
You're gonna have to go
to your crew members
And tell them
just what you told me.
Uncomfortable, isn't it?
- I'm terrified, actually.
- Good.
You should be.
- [Laughs]
- Look at me.
- It's just, like,
a bathing suit.
- I know.
- You like to see my butt.
- Wow.
[Laughs]
There are things that she has
that really pique my interest
And really grab my attention
with her.
[Laughs]
Yeah.
- Eddie, eddie, lee.
Andrew has something he wants
to talk to the group about.
- Hi.
- Scoot over, eddie.
Let her sit down. Jeez.
You're such a d*ck.
- [Laughs]
- All right, andrew, what's up?
- All right, um...
I guess I just--i really--
I've always wanted to kind
of work on a super yacht,
Give this a go,
'cause it looked really cool.
So this morning I felt the need
to come clean to the captain
About something,
And it's something
I have to come clean to--
Definitely to you guys.
Um...
I totally fudged my resume.
- So you've never worked
on a boat before?
- I've done one charter.
- One charter.
That sucks that you lied.
I am disappointed
and kind of hurt
That he would lie to me
after I've defended him,
And, you know, he kind of made
me look like an idiot,
And that sucks.
- I understand that you guys
would be disappointed in me
Right now, and you're
all my superiors at this point,
Said the captain.
So is the rest of the boat.
- I think it'd be a good idea
to get back to work.
- Thank you guys for...
- Yep.
- Yeah.
- Listening.
- Well, I was putting him
on lines alone.
- Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
- I guess that's bad.
- So dangerous.
Putting the boat
in danger and other people.
People have lost arms,
Hands, broken things,
lost fingers in this industry.
It's very dangerous.
- He lied to us,
and he lied on his resume,
And really, I probably should
just fire him right away, but--
I'm pissed off.
But on a yacht,
There's always a hierarchy
starting with a captain.
You got to follow orders.
Keep an eye on him, guys.
- I do know
there is a chain of command,
But it's very hard for me not
to step up and take charge
Because when we have a guy
like andrew in the marine corp.,
We break him.
I think it's [bleep].
- [Clears throat]
- Thoughts?
- Let's get back to work.
- I want him longer, harder.
- Oh, yeah.
- Make the best of it.
And then we'll see
where he is...
- Yeah.
- At the end of this charter.
- Coming up...
- Can I get anybody
another glass of wine?
- A mojito for me.
- Basil looks a lot
like mint, guys.
- The ohana spa mojito
is made with basil,
Mint extract, and love.
- Mm.
- I just want to let everybody
know we've got 20 minutes
To showtime, guys.
So anything
that we need to hustle up on,
We need to get cracking on it,
all right?
- I want him, like,
standing by at all times. Chump.
- Who, andrew?
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- He lied on his resume.
- I've totally just lost
all respect for that kid.
I'm not shocked
at all by this news.
I'm actually surprised
That eddie's been sticking up
for andrew the whole time,
And he's been working with him,
he sees what he's doing.
When did you guys find out?
- Earlier today.
- Today.
- I think we need
to get rid of him.
I will not work with andrew.
I will push him overboard.
- Hey, girlfriend.
- All right,
they're on their way.
Let's go.
Ben, guests
are coming down the deck now.
Let's go, guys.
In position.
And here comes the rain.
- Oh, my gosh.
A stew's worst nightmare
is when it rains.
It's like, "oh, gosh,
they're gonna stay inside,
They're gonna
want a lot of booze,
And we're gonna be serving
way more than we would
If it was beautiful
and sunny."
Here we go with charter two.
- Hello.
Captain lee.
- Hi.
- Welcome aboard ohana.
- Nice to meet ya.
- My pleasure.
- Hi. Eva.
- Welcome.
- Scott.
- Scott. How are you?
- Hello. Melissa.
- Have some champagne.
Kate's gonna take you
on a tour of the vessel
To get you acclimated
to your rooms and everything.
We'll take care of getting
your luggage down here.
Gonna have a lot of fun.
- Salud.
- Cheers.
- Jubilee.
- Jubilee.
- Right this way.
Welcome aboard.
- Thank you so much.
- Nick.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- This is our main guest entry.
I would say this is
the main guest interior space.
- I love the color in here.
- Note the lack of red wine
stains on the carpet.
- Not for long.
- The captain's cabin
is right here.
- I'm getting this ship
on the road.
- You're a natural.
- No, I'm really gonna drive it.
I'm gonna talk him
into letting me drive
'Cause I'm captain lee as well.
- So I have one couple
in this room,
One couple in that room.
- I dib this room.
- Are you doing
the d*ck van d*ke one?
- Now we're gonna continue down
to the master room,
The master state room.
- Oh, wow.
- It's beautiful.
Look it. They made an anchor.
- We can have movie night
in here.
- Adult film night?
Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Whoo!
- Elegance is refinement.
These guests are not
what I would say is elegant.
- This reminds me
of our boat, huh?
- That's what I just said.
[Laughs]
- They're a little bit
gratuitous and showy.
- Where's the picture
of you and the president?
- I brought it.
- They want attention,
And you can tell
that they're gonna want
A lot of attention from me.
We'll go up to the sky lounge.
Now, this was all uncovered
right before the rainstorm,
And the boys will get out here
in a few minutes,
But I have a feeling
this is where you'll spend
Most of your time.
- I would like to get
a specialty cocktail.
- Okay.
- Like, ketel
With muddled strawberries and a
little maybe lavender syrup.
- I'll see
if we have the lavender.
- With a sugared rim.
- Okay.
- Like,
in a little martini glass.
- I mean, where am I supposed
to get essence of lavender?
Oh, let me just
get right on that.
Hey, ben.
- Yes, ma'am.
- This is a weird question.
Do you have anything
with lavender?
- Lavender. Bloody hell.
- I think we've got some--
- how about elderberry?
Elderberry?
- Don't you think
She should have put it
on her preference list
That she wants lavender
in her cocktails?
- I think the brunette lady's
Gonna be
a little high maintenance.
- A little?
- Yeah, I already hate her.
- Oh.
- Oh, amen, kate.
- We couldn't find any lavender,
but we'll order some for you.
- Ah, lovely.
- Jenkins, master.
- Thank you.
- Will you see
If you know anybody who owns
this orange ostrich bag?
- I sure will.
- Thank you very much.
- It looks like a [bleep]
sandwich out there.
- Is the bow feathering?
- How badly do you think
we should get rid of andrew?
- I think he's [bleep] useless,
and he's--
- He is useless, right?
- We're better off without him.
He's a liar.
He's a manipulator,
He's a little [bleep].
He has no business
being on this boat.
He doesn't have the experience,
and all he is, is a hindrance.
So yeah, he should [bleep] off.
- Can I get anybody
another glass of wine?
- A mojito for me.
- Great.
[Bleep] mojitos.
- [Speaking french]
What?
Do we speak french here?
- Do we not have mint?
- No mint.
- I ordered mint,
but it didn't arrive.
There was no mint options.
Basil looks a lot
like mint guys.
- Got it.
- Good girl.
What is it?
- It's a micro chervil.
[Laughs]
- I hope she doesn't have
an allergy.
[Laughs]
- to be a good stewardess,
You kind of have to have
a little macgyver in you.
- You're gonna muddle it, right?
- You take the leaves,
you make it look like a mojito.
It's genius.
- Look what I found.
- How many wines did--
- What is it?
- Mint.
- The ohana mojito is vodka,
sprite, a tonic, soda water,
Whatever you have laying around,
And a bendy straw.
- I swear, only t*rrorists
and [bleep] order mojitos.
- Wow!
- I can keep my composure
on anyone. That's my job.
- That is beautiful.
- But in my head, I'm saying,
"I hate you so much."
- Mm.
- Brad, how are you?
Come on in.
Make yourself comfortable.
This afternoon we'll get
a dive scheduled for ya.
It's not like you're not gonna
get wet anyhow, so--
When we're done with the dive,
we'll pull anchor,
And we're gonna head
up to virgin gorda north sound.
- Oh.
- And spend the night there.
- Thanks, captain.
- You're welcome guys. Anytime.
Eddie, lee.
- Yeah, go for eddie.
- Yeah, we're coming into
little harbor.
We need to prep
to drop the hook.
- Let's cut it loose,
and give me 175.
- Got that, 175.
- Coming down.
Right there. 175.
- Yeah.
- I don't understand
why everybody's so surprised.
I have pretty much noticed
that from day one.
If I had a stewardess
like that on my team,
I would have gotten rid of her
after the first trip.
- He couldn't even [bleep]
tie a boat.
- He almost sunk us.
[Laughter]
- Brad, have a good time.
- Thanks.
- Enjoy your dive.
- Looks fun.
- How you doing?
- Brad.
- Brad, lovely to meet you.
I'm kerry.
- I didn't get one.
I didn't get one.
- Yeah,
I need a little bit more.
- Okay, yeah.
- And she needs a new one.
- And can I get, like,
A bottle of water?
- Of course.
- And could you plug that
in somewhere for me?
- These bathing suits
are out of control.
I'm telling you, all the women
have very large bazoomkas.
It's not pouring
to where I'm sopping wet,
But it's enough to where I'm
having to wipe my face off.
It's one of those moments
where I just tap into my inner
Texas pageant girl and realize,
"Smile.
Of course
I can get that for you,"
Because there's tip money
on the brain.
- Mm.
- Right?
- Cheers, ladies.
This is perfect.
- Cheers to the senora.
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
- Joined this threesome,
And now I'm chopped liver.
- Sherri lee told me
She would like us to iron
some of her clothes.
I don't even feel
like she really wants it ironed.
I think she just likes having us
Iron it for her
'cause this material--
Sometimes when people
have only one sh*t at luxury,
They really try and milk it.
You can't even iron this.
It's a dirty forever 21 skirt.
You can just tell
she's not accustomed
To this kind of lifestyle,
So she's trying to get
so much bang for her buck.
And it's my job,
but it's just annoying.
My pleasure.
- What to wear.
Night out on the island.
[Indistinct chatter]
- Whoo! Nice.
- Cheers, guys.
- Enjoy. Have fun.
- Yeah!
- Need a bigger boat,
captain.
[Cheering]
- Make some noise, people!
[Cheers and applause]
- [Shouting]
[Dance music]
♪♪ ♪♪
[Indistinct chatter]
- Whoo!
- I need to change, so I can go
in there or I can stay here,
And you can stay in there.
- You're getting,
like, naked, naked?
- Yeah. Switch me, please.
- Go, go, you're good.
I'm not sure
what they were thinking
When they designed our cabins,
But they decided
everybody in those rooms
Would be very, very intimate.
- Bye, now.
- Oh, this is so much fun.
- There's not a worst time
to get the silent treatment
When you're around the table.
I felt like the loser at lunch
in, like, junior high,
Like, that nobody
wants to talk to him,
He's got a weird lunchbox,
and he's got, like,
Freckles and red hair,
and, like, an outcast.
I totally felt like an outcast.
So obviously, the--
Any bitch work will fall on me.
- No.
- No. It's just any work's
gonna fall on you, dude.
- Well, I mean,
like, the toughest stuff,
And I'm ready for it.
- That's the dumbest thing
you could have said.
- I'm, like--i'm saying
that I want it.
- The verbiage was just off.
- Maybe you didn't understand.
What jennice was saying was,
What you just said
was derogatory against women.
- Oh.
Don't you--the--
bitch--
- No.
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
- Okay, fine, but that's usually
used in the term--
- Just stop talking.
Stop talking.
- The new guy does the work,
but cool. I understand.
I'm sorry, jennice.
I meant it in no way or form--
You're more man
than I am in this job.
Like, you're pulling your weight
more than I am.
- Deep breath.
Deep breath.
- Unreal.
That is so offensive.
I'm more of a deckhand
than he is.
It has nothing
to do with being male or female.
More of a man
than me on this job.
I got--i can't do it.
I can't do it.
Oh, andrew.
- Wow, you drama queen.
Calm your ass down.
You know I'm not
meaning it like that.
- She's worked really [bleep]
hard to get to into the position
Where she is now,
And somehow you lied
and sneaked your way in,
Which is a slimy thing to do.
So just give her some space.
- Okay.
- And don't use terms
like "bitch work."
- Gotcha. I totally
didn't even see that one.
Sorry.
- Coming up...
- Eddie, [bleep] got to change.
I'm not gonna be miserable
for six weeks.
- I'll be up [bleep] creek
without a paddle, man.
- What is this?
Lightning?
- It's some sort of game.
- Am I about to get shocked?
Oh, god!
[Screaming]
- What just--
- God almighty.
- See that warning thing there?
- I usually don't read things.
I just, like,
start pushing buttons.
- Whose is this?
- I don't know.
- It's the guests'.
They brought it.
- Go give it to andrew.
Stand in that puddle.
Hold this.
- These are some sick people.
- Sick bastards.
- Could I get
an harvey wallbanger?
- Sure. Okay.
- A little bit
of booze this time, though.
Not a lot.
Thank you.
- Sure.
- Kate isn't a smiler.
- Right.
- The other one
doesn't stop smiling.
- I know.
[Laughs]
Amy. Yeah.
- All right, let's do some
service here, please, ladies.
- Nick, I have your omelet.
You want one just like that?
- Yeah.
- Perfect.
- I have to compliment you
That you are friendly
and chipper at all times.
- Oh, you're so great.
Gosh, thank you.
That made my morning.
I appreciate it.
One of my favorite things
about serving guests
Is you're able to deliver
a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
That sounds really corny.
I'm kind of a dork like that,
but I love that.
- Cheers, darling.
Cheers, lovelies.
- Cheers.
- Salud, salud.
- She's cute, but she doesn't
smile too much.
- No.
- Wait. I was gonna say,
"can we ask her to smile?"
- Yeah.
- She has such a pretty smile.
- You should.
- When she does.
- Smiles are expensive.
You should use 'em.
- Hey, we got a smile.
- Hey, I was just gonna say--
you have a pretty smile.
- Oh, thank you.
Is everybody else
doing all right?
- You have such a pretty smile.
We like to see it.
- I'm not your circus clown.
Okay?
I'm not smiling because I'm
thinking about your cutlery,
Your water, your wines,
Your mojitos, your lavender
essence, your ironing,
Your beds, your bathrooms.
I just think it's rude.
- Mm. Good job, kate.
[Laughter]
- Let's do this.
- One, two, three. Go!
- Whoo!
[All shouting]
- Whoa!
Yes!
- That was awesome.
- Well done.
- Right.
- Whoo!
- Oh, thank you, andrew.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- Appreciate it.
- Oh, yeah, the guests
want a cooking lesson tonight,
I think.
- Oh, really?
- All right.
- Yacht cheffing 101.
- Number one,
get pissed off at everything.
[Laughter]
- Oh, no way!
- Whoa!
- Maybe with y'all's
poker game--
If y'all wanted
some cuban cigars.
- Wow.
- So where'd you study?
- I got privately trained
in italy,
But I was also,
like, michelin star.
I worked in michelin star
restaurants.
- That is very cool.
- Yeah.
It's always flattering
when I'm approached by guests
Who want a cooking lesson.
It is a little bit more work,
But in this case,
Life's not that bad.
Okay, so to start,
I was thinking conch salad.
Does everyone know
what conch is?
- Uh-uh.
- No.
- It's a weird little creature
that--
- So that's the meat part of it?
- It's got,
like, a foot, you know.
It's in the shell,
and it allows itself out,
And then locks itself back in,
And, like, basically,
I just want white, creamy flesh.
[Laughter]
Conch, they say,
Is an aphrodisiac.
- Ooh.
- Oh, yes,
I have to have it every night.
- It's a lot.
- [Laughs]
- A round, madam.
- [Laughter]
- No, I want you to feed me.
- Oh. I'm sorry.
I was, like--
I thought you were,
like, horrified.
Here we go.
- Horrified.
- Come on. That's messed up.
You feed her and not me.
- Of course.
- I'm pretty sure
this is their favorite moment
Of the entire trip.
Ladies love ben.
It's the accent, he's--
Cooking is the way
to a woman's heart.
They're so excited,
and he does with it a smile,
Which apparently
is important to them.
- I haven't had this much conch
in a long time.
[Laughter]
- These guests
are so complimentary.
- Really?
- I think so.
Is it just me, or did you think
kate was kind of stressed today?
Has she seemed different
to you through this one?
- No, not really.
- For a chief stew, she is cool,
calm, and collected.
Maybe she's just holding kind
of, like, all that in, you know.
She's always peppy,
but it's just, like,
I felt like she's kind of been
down today.
- Is kate stressed out?
Of course she's stressed out.
These charger guests
are a pain on our ass.
- Hi.
- Oh, sure.
Would you like us to get
out of your room
And give you some privacy?
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Okay.
- Does she have to smile 24/7?
- We came, we saw, we cooked.
- Hey!
- Hey!
[Laughter]
- It's a good conch.
Here's to ben too for the--
- Ben rocks.
- And to ben.
- You lovely ladies.
- Ben rocks my boat.
- Making look ben--
making ben look good.
- Ben rocks your boat.
- He rocks my boat.
- Making ben look good.
- He always says--
- It's time for you
to get in the garage.
- Get some music going.
Come on.
I want to dance.
Are you ready for that?
Can you dance?
- I do not dance.
That's how we know I have had
too much to drink at a wedding,
And it's time to go home.
- You are home.
- I got to open another bottle
for them.
- They're running low.
- Ugh!
- I don't know. I don't think
they have any of theirs left.
- That's not good,
'cause I'm late.
- Whoo!
[Laughter]
- I'm out of control.
- I'm cringing because I'm
watching all these california
Augmented women wearing
their forever 21 clothing,
Reliving their glory years...
[Women shouting]
And their glory year
was about two decades ago.
- Yeah, baby.
- Whoo!
- It's 6:00 a.m.,
And it looks like
some sick scene
Out of a bad stripper movie.
There's wine spots
all over the floor.
There were poker chips
everywhere.
- Hey, grab that cigar off the
floor over there by that chair.
It's an absolute disaster.
I mean, absolute disaster.
They screwed up the teak
real good.
- The only way I could
really win people over
At this point is by work.
I want to have a true,
ultra-successful charter,
At least one,
And I have to just bust my ass
harder than ever
And prove myself.
- Andrew.
Hey, when guests
are on the same deck as you,
You don't clean
while they're there.
- Are they all out there?
I mean, it's okay
If a couple of them are there.
- There's a couple.
- It was three.
- It was two.
- It's okay.
- I don't--
- There's two?
- And I checked with them.
- Well, then you did
the right thing, man. Good job.
- Thanks, eddie.
[Bleep], kelley.
- Damn it, andrew.
- Are you all right?
- I'm bored.
- You want to play scrabble?
- Yeah.
- You do?
- I hate scrabble.
It's probably 'cause I'm so bad
at making words.
- Are you?
What are you good at making?
- Love.
[Laughter]
It's hard to have a relationship
if my boyfriend's on land.
It's like putting a dog
in a cage and leaving it there.
It's not right.
- There you go, love.
- Did I just compare myself
to a dog in a cage?
- Whenever you ladies are ready,
we're going.
- She's in.
- Copy that.
We're out of here.
- Eddie, can we talk?
- Yeah.
- So I'm at the point
with andrew,
It's just, like,
he needs to do something.
Like, everybody on this boat
has a [bleep] problem with him.
Like, this isn't how it's run.
Like, you lie about your resume,
you don't work,
Then you don't stay.
We have, what, ten people
that fit very [bleep] well,
And then he's sitting here
causing a rift.
I'm not gonna be miserable
for six weeks.
- Yeah.
- [Bleep] got to change.
- I'll be up [bleep] creek
without a paddle, man.
My group is crumbling around me.
If I lose my best guy,
Captain lee is gonna blame me
for not being a good leader.
- [Bleep] got to change.
- Right.
- Let me know when I'm clear
to pivot, please.
- Andrew, I really
need you to listen to me.
Mouth shut, ears open.
Game face.
- Game face.
- Let's find kate,
and get a mojito for me.
- Switching port side
wing station.
- Andrew.
- Yes.
- Take a wrap, and lock it in.
- Right.
- Pull hard, andrew,
and make it fast.
- Here you go.
- Ah.
- Ah.
- I love you. You are so good.
Thank you very much.
- My pleasure.
- I hate to be the husband,
but she's gonna rub it in
Like crazy if she has
one of those and I don't.
- I'll go pour you another one.
- Thank you so much.
- I think these guests
are in denial that it's over.
Charter's over.
Ordering mojitos?
I don't even care anymore.
Yeah, sure, whatever.
I'll throw some [bleep]
in a cup. Bye.
- I think this is basil.
I don't think it's mint.
- Oh, we've been
making it the same way--
- It's parsley.
- The whole time.
Is it not minty?
- It's mint.
- This--i think that's--
- there you go.
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
Oh, the ohana spa mojito.
It's made with basil,
mint extract, and love.
- Just three more days.
Okay? Is that--
- What's it gonna take?
- Awesome...
- Thank you.
- Experience. Food was amazing.
- Good man. Cheers.
- Thank you so much,
and here's, you know...
- Thank you so much.
- Appreciation for everything.
- Appreciate it.
- It was awesome.
- Have an awesome season.
- Thank you.
- All right, I'll be
right there. Got to go!
- All right, guys.
We'll get everybody together
in the crew mess.
Give me about ten minutes.
- All right.
Take your time, let us know.
- Okay?
- Yep.
- Cool.
- Everybody's fed up
with andrew.
He's a slow worker,
He lied on his resume,
he's endangering people.
If we have to split the tip
evenly with him again,
I'm done, you know, I'm out.
- Andrew is such a scumbag
for doing that.
Am I just mean,
to think he should be fired?
- No.
- No.
- You're not mean to think that.
That's why I was so upset
'cause I was, like--
- I don't think
andrew deserves a penny.
He doesn't know what he's doing,
His work ethic sucks,
And he's a liar.
- He certainly hasn't earned
a place on the boat,
And that's why
he shouldn't be here.
[Glass clinking]
- Yeesh.
[Bleep].
- He earned a place out at sea
all alone in the water.
- Edster.
- Yeah, man.
- If you wish, I
will get started on the garbage.
- Yeah, all right.
- He'd rather talk about it.
Andrew needs to go
Because there's a word
called mutiny out there.
- Let's get everybody assembled
in the crew mess.
Everyone in the crew mess.
- Next time on below deck--
- The guests are showing up
in three hours.
- All right, stop saying that.
- Well, it's freaking me out.
- Ugh!
- It's confusing
Because you and I have gotten
so close so quickly.
- So how's your new boyfriend?
- Have you seen our guests?
- Holy [bleep].
- Are these playboy bunnies
for real?
- These guys are gonna
be high [bleep] maintenance.
- There is plastic on my food.
- That's [bleep].
- I'm calling them out on this.
[Bleep]
- I don't meant to ambush you
in front of everyone else...
- Uh-huh.
- But you don't seem happy.
You're not smiling. You're
coming off kind of bitchy.
- How dare you?
I've been humiliated.
- I'm afraid I have
some unpleasant news for you.
- Holy crap.
- I've come to a decision.
02x03 - Mojitos, Mo' Problems
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Show chronicles the lives of the crew members who work and reside aboard a superyacht during charter season.
Show chronicles the lives of the crew members who work and reside aboard a superyacht during charter season.