02x05 - Bitchy Resting Face

[bunniefuu]

Female narrator:
previously on below deck...

- I'm gonna cut you loose.

- You took it like a man.
- That was the one thing

He took like a man.
[Laughter]

- Jennice, do you mind
helping us drop plates?

- We are a person down,
and the interior pulls me

From the team that is
already down a person.

- I don't normally complain,

But I don't understand
why we're still here.

- Good?
- No.

- The timing on the meal
is slow.

- There's no pleasing you ever.

- There's plastic on my food.

- It came off this bottle.
- Yeah.

- What a bunch of incompetents.

- Are these playboy bunnies
for real?

Or was somebody joking?

- I feel like you should go
with me.

- It's confusing,
because you and I

Have gotten so close
so quickly.

- So how's your new boyfriend?

- We love him.

He's my charter guest
soul mate for sure.

- You're scaring all of us.

You're coming off
kind of bitchy.

- I've been humiliated.

So I made a perfect
blanket fold.

[Boat horn blows]

[Upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- You wanna go see?
- Wait, what happened?

- Come on.

[Laughter]

- That had to have been done
by someone. That's not--

- Well, obviously
someone did it.

[Laughing]

- It has a head and everything.
- Wow.

- I can't believe that.

- Is that how you found it
this morning?

- Yes. When I went back,
and the room had been made up.

- Oh, my god.

- Kat, are you familiar
with all the sea animals

They do with the towel
on the beds?

- I have actually
never really done it before.

- Okay.
- But if you have any thoughts.

- Well, now I'm just wondering
what the one is on my bed today.

It's very...odd.

[Laughter]

- It doesn't seem
to be a sea animal.

- I'm gonna go take a peek.
- Go take a peek, please.

- It's the best folded penis
I've ever seen in my life.

I instantly know
kate did that.

She's the only one who could
fold a penis that good

Out of a blanket.

[Camera shutters click]

- Holy [bleep].

Whoa. I have never seen
anything like this.

It's got balls
and everything.

[Both laugh]

That's not cool.

I mean, it's very cool,

But that--that could be
very bad for us.

- Let's do this.

- All right,
we're all set up here.

- Hey, did you have anything to
do with that penis on the bed?

- I made a rocket ship.

- A what?

- I don't know why
you said it's that.

It's a rocket ship.

[Laughter]

- [Beep], okay.

- Guests like this definitely
make me think

That I have spent too much time
in this industry.

The space program is so strong
where I'm from.

They've been going to mars.

But I have a feeling they're
gonna be going to uranus.

- Wow.

I've seen rocket ships.

I went to visit
n.a.s.a. Once.

I'm sorry,
but that's a penis.

Yeah.

- That was quite the shape
you picked.

- It was a moment of genius.

Rage-filled genius.

You can only do so much
with a blanket.

- She did not.

[Both laugh]

- It's really good.

I really just want to go
and cuddle up

With that fuzzy
little blanket.

- Oh, my gosh.

What?

Dean called kate a bitch
at the table

In front of all the guests.

So I see her having
a freak-out moment.

On the master bed was a--
like, the throw blanket we use,

Perfectly folded penis.

- Who did that?

- Chief stew barbie kate.

- Whoa. Behind this thin veneer
of makeup, smiles and, you know,

Perfectly manicured flowers,

There's something
dark brewing.

And it's gonna blow.

Get your life jackets on,
because this boat's going down.

- Yeah, we can. Just give us
a second to set it up.

Like that.

- Where's the hole?

Without andrew,
we're a man down.

And we got a lot
of work to do.

Yeah.

You washing those--

Did you wash those
in freshwater?

- Yes, I did.

- You're amazing.

[Laughs]

- No! Don't.

- We so desperately
need a new deckhand.

- Did you want to ask him
about lunch?

- Sure. Where's his
preference sheet?

- What are we gonna
find out?

If he likes penis throws
or not?

- Everybody just needs
to calm down about the blanket.

It's a rocket ship,
you sicko.

It was perfect. I was actually
really proud of it.

- So, what are your plans
for lunch?

Do you want to stick
to the preference sheet?

- Yes, let's do.
- Okay.

- I think that'll be fine.

- Can you go and find out
what time lunch is?

- Well, you know what? Chief
stew, I've already asked him.

So I have to find out
from her.

- All right, well, it'd be nice
if she could tell me,

Since the one making lunch.

Or is she too busy making
[bleep], putting them on beds?

- Maybe before
your white party.

You could do a little bonfire
and then come back.

- I think that's a great idea.
- Okay.

- All right?
- Thank you.

- There's a possibility
he could like it, ben.

- No, don't think so.

I think it's pretty selfish for
her to take it all upon herself

To risk the tip.

Kate, you should go
and talk to the charter guest

About what you did.

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- You put a d*ck on his bed.
- No, I did not.

- Well, then you'd better go and
explain that you didn't do that,

Because he's thinking
that you did.

- Well, maybe it's like
when their friends

Put plastic in the food.

I don't know what kind of pranks
these people are pulling.

- I don't think
you're in a position

To jeopardize
everyone's tip

Because you're pissed off
with them.

- When the guests accuse ben
of having plastic in their food,

He has no problem
being pretty rude to them.

So when I stick up
for myself,

I'm a little surprised
that ben is saying

I jeopardized the tip.

- It was quite a big
statement.

- What would you
like me to say?

"Hello, would you like
some champagne?

And do you think your blanket
looks like a...penis?"

- Why don't you
go up to him and say,

"I just went into your room
to do something,

"I saw the blanket
on the bed.

"That wasn't the shape
that I made.

It was altered,
and I'm really sorry."

- I'm not sinking the boat.

I don't know what you're
freaking out about.

- Well, we're doing this
for money.

And if our money
is jeopardized,

Then we need to make that
and make amends to it.

- Did we not make amazing tips
the last two charters?

I don't know why
you're concerned.

My crew is valuing money
over me.

- You are?
- I think it's funny

To, like, joke about,
but he's our chartered guest.

- This is ridiculous.

- Whoo!

[Girls shout]

- What are you all doing?
- What are you doing?

- We're running around
like crazy people.

- Yeah.
- You're all just lounging.

- Are you kidding me?
- No.

- I don't even have time
to stop and talk about it,

But if y'all have a hand
that you could give us

Before we get lunch out,

That would be, like,
super appreciative.

- The stews think that we are
the bidding of everybody else.

Personally, I think we have
a bigger job to do than they do.

So that's bull[bleep].

We're a man down, and we've
still been helping them,

And they're not appreciating
a single thing.

So if they're not gonna
appreciate it,

We're not gonna help them.
- Yeah, exactly.

- It's that simple.

We've been frigging
busting our ass, too.

- Yeah.
- You know?

- Yeah, we're just
sitting down there because--

- Yeah, oh, yeah,
we're not working

Because we're sat down
for one second.

[Bleep] damn. I'm not getting
paid enough for this [bleep].

- I made a rocket ship.
- Right.

- And if anybody
messed with it, I'm not sure.

And, you know what?
He's gay.

I'm pretty sure
he likes those things.

- Yeah, I think it would be
funny if he laughed about it.

Apparently the cat,
he didn't.

I think it was inappropriate

The way he said things
to you yesterday.

But do I think your penis
on his bed is appropriate? No.

At the end of the day,
this all affects all of us.

- I will gladly give my tip,
because clearly--

- Honey, that's not the point.
- I feel like it is.

It's about money,
is that what it is?

- No, it's about doing our job
and doing it--

- I am doing my job.
- I know you are.

Folding a "rocket ship" on the
bed is communicating a message

From the crew of ohana.

Dean doesn't know
who folded it.

I think it's unfair,

Because I don't want
to be part of that.

I think it's out of line.

- I think a lot of things
are out of line.

I think them having kelley
straddle a girl

Down a slide
is out of line.

I think--
- but that's them

Doing stuff to us.
- What's the difference?

- We are working for them.

- I don't care.

I'm not impressed
with their lack of support.

Or with their greed
over loyalty.

Just shut up and let me stick up
for myself.

- Did you hear their plan?
- No.

- They said anyone
who sets up the slide

Goes down it with them.

They were, like--
- well, then that's all of us.

[Laughs]

- Of course they won't
be helping.

Oh, by the way, you're not
helping the stews anymore.

[Bleep] that.
If they're gonna complain

About not having any help
and then not help us...

- I guess that's true.
I guess that's true.

- And we have
one person down.

- Sometimes interior steps in
and they step over eddie.

And I think, right now,
eddie is learning how and when

He needs to step in
and not let that happen.

- Hi, guys. How we doing?
- Captain, doing good.

- I'm looking forward
to that bonfire.

- We're all looking
forward to it a lot.

So, what time were we gonna
do that about?

- 6:30, Quarter to 7:00,
it starts getting dark.

- All right.

Well, you know,
I was gonna ask for you

In a little bit anyway.

Every day there's a little
creature

Or an anchor or something
on my bed.

And today, someone did the towel
in the form of a penis.

And I don't know exactly
what the message is with that.

- That's...

Different.

- That's one word for it.

- Whoever did it may have
thought it was a joke,

But it's career su1c1de.

I'll look into that.

- Please do.

- Enjoy your lunch.
- Thank you.

Narrator:
coming up...

- I know you did it.
You lied to me.

- I didn't want
to lose my job.

And that's when
I started realizing,

"What have I done?"

[Pop music]

- Kate, when you get
a free second,

Could I see you
up in the wheel house?

- Of course.

- It's never acceptable
to be disrespectful to a guest.

I don't know who's behind it,

But I am definitely gonna
get to the bottom of this.

I mean, this [bleep]
really pisses me off.

I just had a chat
with the primary.

- Okay.

- Who did his bed today?

- I made it,

But I heard that there was
something on it.

- Any idea how
that happened?

- I'm not sure.

I can't admit
that I did that.

So I'm just gonna deny.

Lie till you die.
Deny, deny.

- Sure I'll find out
how it happened...

- Mm-hmm.
- And who did it.

Somebody knows,
because somebody did it.

- Ask your girls and see what
you can find out for me.

- I sure will.

All right, I will check in
with you later,

But I'm gonna go help
with lunch.

- Okay.
- Do you need anything?

- No.
- Okay.

[Upbeat music]

- Do you have a line in here

So you can practice tying knots?
- Yeah.

- Show me
the flying bowline.

High, quick bowline.

Whoa.
- Okay.

You're gonna, like,
b*at me with this rope.

I love how jennice
knows how to make knots.

It's kind of
mind-blowingly sexy.

[Laughs]

You'll have to show me
that again later.

- Go for ready.

- Yeah, I need you
in the wheel house.

- On my way.

Capitan.
- Yeah. Have a seat.

- Uh-oh.

- The primary...
- Yeah?

- Told me about something he
found in his bed this morning.

- I already know
who did it.

- You do?
- Yeah.

- Care to enlighten me?
Because I don't.

- Kate, I guess,
was the one who made it.

It's a "rocket ship."
- That's interesting,

Because kate just left here
and told me she had no clue.

Okay, tell me what you know.

- I'm in the laundry room
and kat comes in,

And she took
a picture of it.

She showed me
what was on the bed.

And she was like,
"well, kate made the bed."

Here's one,
and then the other.

- A rocket ship my ass.

Doesn't leave much
to the imagination, does it?

- Certainly not.

- I will go to the mat
for my crew,

But I expect integrity
and loyalty.

And lying to me
is not a sign of loyalty.

- Who told us we were going
to the beach?

- The captain told me.

He said we deserved
some beach time.

Lay out.

- It was kind of weird for me
to get into it with kate.

Certainly not easy living with
six different personalities

And working with them
and having these stressful...

- Right.
- Guests.

So it really pushes us
to either

Get our own selves together
mentally,

Or just--or quit.

Now I see how she got
that perfect circumcision

On the last fold.

That kind of looks
like a mushroom top.

- Yeah, I will give her this.

Her rocket ship
was pristine and perfect.

- Does anyone have eyes
on kate?

- Every time I hear
on the radio

Captain lee say, "kate, kate,"
I get nervous.

[Glass shatters]
[gasps]

[Bleep].

- Can anyone hear me?

This is the captain.

The fact that kate's lied to me
about the whole situation

Is grounds for
termination.

Have a seat.

- Okay.

- I want to stop
playing games here.

I want to get this thing done
and over with.

I was surprised
and shocked,

Because in the past
kate has done an excellent job

As a chief stew.

What the hell
were you thinking?

I know you did it.
- How?

- How I know is irre--
- why are you saying that?

- I don't know why.
That's what I'm here to ask you.

- I don't know why
you think I did it.

- I know that you did it.

- I made a rocket ship
on the bed.

- That's not a rocket ship.
We both know it's not.

So let's drop
the semantics.

- Oh, [bleep].

So there's a photo
of the blanket.

Who took that photo?

How did he get it?

- My question is,
why did you do it?

- Honestly,
they're being awful.

And I think,
to tell me in a cute way

That they think
I'm bitchy is awful.

I was so upset.

I just had to stick up
for myself,

And blanket folding
is how I did it.

- Certainly can't be the first
time a guest has told you

That they thought
you were bitchy.

- I think I have
a bitchy resting face.

- Okay.
- Which is a real thing.

I don't like that I'm being
the victim here at all.

- The victim?
- Yeah.

- Wow.

- I honestly think it's not
as bad as it's blown up to be.

- The bad thing is
you lied to me.

- I know I did,
but--and I don't lie.

But listen, this--

- I'm interested in hearing
the excuse for that one.

- I'm not a liar.

But I didn't want to lose my job
because I stuck up for myself.

And that's when I start
realizing,

"Oh, no, what have I done?"

I don't lie.

But it's just this whole thing
is so intense.

- All I want you to do
is step back,

Take a few deep breaths.

- I am sorry.

- I would expect,
and I would hope

You would do this one on one
with the primary guest,

Is apologize to him.

- Okay, how--ugh.

Having to apologize to the guest
that called me bitchy

Might be a new low
in my life.

I will make sure to clear up
the fact that it was just a joke

That got carried away.
- Let me know how he takes it.

- Yup.

- Thank you.

- Hi.

Yeah. I just have to go talk
to the charter guest.

Tell him it was a joke
that got carried away.

It wasn't really my choice.
I don't love the idea.

Captain lee.

- I just had a nightmare.

- I feel like
I'm living in one.

- Hatch opening.

- If you wouldn't mind
doing some squeegeeing

And shammying of the deck...

[Laughs]

That'd be greatly appreciated.
- Sure.

- It takes one bonehead move
to really screw up a charter.

And because of kate,

I'm worried that we just lost
our entire tip.

You know, we got so much
to clean and so much to do,

And we just don't have
the manpower to do it.

It's just trouble
written all over it.

[Whistles]
- I'm gonna start squeegeeing

And shammying the decks.

[Air pump whirring]

I have to move down these steps
at some point.

- Yeah, I know.
- You realize that?

I'm, like, leaning on you
at the moment.

I just need you to...
- Sit here?

- Sit here for a sec.

- Are you gonna defend me
when eddie's like,

"Why is she not working?"

- Sure.

- You're gonna get both of us
in trouble.

- I know. I know.

- We're shorthanded. Now these
two are making it worse

By having their little
flirty time.

So I should send jennice
to the beach

So that kelley can get
some work done on the boat.

- Have fun, guys.
- Whoo-hoo!

[Upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- Kelley and I are getting
to the point of no return.

So maybe it's best we spend
a little bit more time apart.

But it's hard.

- I pulled stuff
for the white party.

- That'd be fun.

- There's six candles,
two of these.

- I'm worried that kate has
pretty much ruined the charter.

I'm really struggling here
to pull everything together.

Everything has to be perfect.

I mean, that's a lot
of pressure.

- Kelley.

Things just got complicated.

[Upbeat music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- We thought we'd dress in
white on the way over.

Otherwise you're changing later.
- That works.

- So, what is the schedule
tomorrow?

- Schedule tomorrow: we're gonna
be here in the morning,

And probably pull out
around 10:00, 10:30.

- Okay. And then there's
a couple people leaving early.

- Dean's charter's
almost over.

And they're gonna
be leaving soon.

Kate needs to step up
and apologize.

- How's your buddy?

- I haven't had a chance
to see him yet.

- Well, it's gonna be so nice
when you do.

- I know. I'm really looking
forward to it.

- I think he's a really
understanding, nice guy.

- Who is this chef
in the kitchen

That all of a sudden cares so
much about the guests' feelings?

- Kate, you want me to take this
to the primary?

He's right up there as well.
- I'll take it.

Thanks for the pep talk.

[Both laugh]

Captain lee says
I should be super honest.

I don't think
that's the right idea.

If I was super honest,
I would have been like,

"I think you're a complete jerk,

So I took out my rage
on your bed."

I got this for you.
- Oh, thank you very much.

- And I would like to say...

I'm sorry for any offense

I might have caused
this morning.

I think there was
a miscommunication on the tone

And the banter of the trip.

And so whatever you saw
on your bed,

It was not meant
to be offensive.

I'm very sorry.
- Okay.

- I apologized.
Maybe he accepted it.

Maybe he's infuriated.
I have no idea at this point.

It's probably the worst day
of my yachting career.

- Eddie, eddie, lee.

Prep kelley and set up
the beach party.

- This charter has been
very demanding

With setting up the slide,
and putting out the trampoline,

And putting out
the big [inaudible]

Now we have to set up
a beach party also.

So it's just another good old
[bleep] you to deck crew.

- Okay. That's heavy.

[Pop music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- Yes, hello.
I was wondering if you knew

Of any steel drum bands
available for entertainment

For hire this evening.

My whole crew's looking at me
like I messed everything up.

So I need to pull
something off big.

It's gonna be
on a private beach.

You can get them in there
by boat.

When it comes to beach parties,
I'm usually on my "a" game.

Steel drums: got it.
Beach party: okay.

I will be
your dancing monkey.

Thank you so much.

- You know what would
make this perfect?

- What?
- Big rainstorm.

[Laughter]

- Yeah, we're gonna have to hold
for a minute.

[Indistinct chatter]

I'm gonna go check on the radar
and see what I can figure out.

And I'll be right back.

I can see if the weather
is on its way.

But it may be gone
by the time it gets here.

You just really,
really don't know.

[Thunder crashes]

But we've got
a big evening planned

To make their charter
really good.

So we're just gonna
push ahead with it,

And maybe we'll get lucky

And the weather gods
will smile on us.

We should be okay
on the rain.

- Ladies first.

[Steel drum music plays]

- Oh, yes.
I love this.

I love it.

Let's have a seat.

- There's not a lot
of margin for error

For the rest
of the trip.

If anything goes wrong,
even if it's not my fault,

And the tip reflects that,

Everybody's gonna blame
the blanket.

So it's got to be flawless,

And the best thing
I've ever done.

- Oh, thank you.

- We have this really elaborate
plan for the white party.

We want them to come out
and just be white everywhere,

And gorgeous, and beautiful.

[Sizzling]

- I've got some really nice
pork tenderloin.

I'm gonna slowly roast it

With a big square
of mozzarella on top.

So you got these beautiful
white plates of white food.

It's gonna be great.

- Oh, come on, wind.

I'm trying to get
this table set,

And the wind is whipping.

[Bleep].

The weather is like
our worst enemy right now.

[Wind gusting]
[sighs]

[Laughs]

[Steel drum music]
- ♪♪ take your panties off ♪♪

I don't think this
is a very good conga line.

All right, I'm done.

He's crap at conga.

[Thunder crashes]

- Last squall came through.

I've been watching the pattern
on the radar,

It looks like we're gonna have
another squall blowing through.

Over 25 knots.

[Steel drum music]
[indistinct chatter]

We're gonna have another squall
come through.

- Done and done.

Not okay.

- Not okay?
- No. Not okay.

- I'm not sure at this point
if dean is happy,

If dean is pissed.

He's so hard to read.

- All right,
we got to hurry,

Because we're going back
to dinner.

I'm good, I'm good.

- I don't want them
stuck on the beach

During a sudden rainstorm,
so I made the decision

To bring it back
to the boat.

- Oh, my gosh.
It's beautiful.

- Oh, y'all are already back.
I was expecting a little longer.

So I was just finishing
setting the table.

- That's okay.
- Y'all look beautiful.

We want to provide this
beautiful, beautiful evening.

- Guys, should we be seated?

- The guests are in white.
They look beautiful.

And then...
[Thunder crashes]

- This is a nightmare,
isn't it?

- Oh, my gosh!
- Oh, my gosh.

- Behave yourselves.

- Drenched.

- You know what?

We're just gonna
set up downstairs.

- Why? We should totally
eat out here.

I'm already acclimatized.

- If I was a guest
in this situation,

What would I need?
What would I want?

So I run down,
I get towels and robes.

And they're white,
so that's good.

- Who tied this robe up
so tight?

- Wipe these down.

- Probably the same person who
designed the penis on your bed.

Oh, who--stop rocking the boat.

- Silverware...

- We just have
really bad luck.

- One of the tables was right
in front of the stew pantry,

And there's no door.

No guest is gonna be able
to enjoy a formal yacht dinner

When they're looking in
on chaos.

We need a plan "b".

- Oh, ghetto fabulous.
- Oh, my god.

[Laughs]

- How does it look
from the outside?

- Horrible.
[All laugh]

- It's a white party. Now we
have a white trash curtain wad.

Perfect.

- What is it?
- Pork tenderloin,

Sesame seed, with a whipped
mash potato,

Cauliflower florets, and
a cheddar and horseradish sauce.

- I love horseradish.

Courtney, do you eat pork?
- I don't eat red meat.

- Oh, you don't?

Brilliant. Give it here.
I'm hungry.

Would you like
a chilean sea bass?

- Yes, yes.
- Okay, perfect. Let's do it.

Can you imagine saying,
"I don't eat red meat"?

And then you don't eat pork.

Everyone knows
pork's white meat.

That always screw me up.

All right, we're good.
Thank you.

- We need to be on our "a" game
to pull off this charter.

- That looks beautiful.
Thank you so much.

- And so far, kind of at like
a little d-minus right now.

Walk in the park.
[Laughs]

[Pop music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- I'm in a confusing situation,
that's for sure.

I have a boyfriend,
but I like work a lot more

When it's next to kelley
than when it's not.

Our lines of friendship
are starting to get blurry,

And I have to figure out
what I'm gonna do about that.

- You doing all right?

I know, um...

Anyways, I don't know
how to exactly do this,

But, uh...

I'm gonna do it,

And we'll figure it out
later.

Sorry.

- Okay.

- You can take what you want
from that,

And we'll go from there.

[Sighs]

Now things just got
complicated.

[Sighing]

Male narrator:
coming up.

- One thing in particular
I want to address

Is the towel art.

- Kate?
- Yeah.

- They want all of this
done tonight.

She even said
some of it's hand-wash.

- Is this a winter coat?
- They leave in ten hours.

That's ridiculous.
- It's like they're asking

For impossible things.

The only reason there's not more
is because they couldn't

Cram it in further.

I don't like being treated
like the help

By people who are less refined
than I am.

And I can tell
by these ladies' clothes...

Oh, my god.

They need a little
fashion advice.

- This can't be
for real, right?

This has to be them
just punking us, huh?

- I think that's what
this whole charter was.

If you want to throw it in
with some dirty galley rags,

I understand.
- Mother mary.

- We could all fit in dean's
shower, because there's like...

- I usually wear a mask
when I skinny dip, by the way.

- The guests have been drinking
all day long.

And once I get
a certain amount of booze...

- Wait, why don't you take
your pants off.

- Stop.
- Oh, gosh!

[Laughs]
- like that.

- It just all goes downhill
from there.

[Laughter]

You want to dance around in your
sparkly underpants at home,

Go on with your bad self.

But I really don't want
to see that.

[Indistinct chatter]
so good to see you again.

- Hi, girls.
- Is the chef here?

- Um, he is here.
He's not in the galley,

But he is here.
Can I get you something?

- We would like one margarita
pizza and one pepperoni.

Can he make that?
- Yeah, he makes everything.

- Thank you.
- Okay, awesome. Thanks.

They would like a margarita
and pepperoni pizza.

- Great.

- Hey, ben.
- What?

- The guests want a margarita
pizza and a pepperoni pizza.

Do you trust me and amy
to make it?

- Yeah. Do you know
how to make pizza?

- Yeah.

You have dough?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Just use the bread dough.

- Okay, thanks.
- All right, love. Good luck.

- Ben go down?
- Yeah.

They want pizza,
so I'm doing pizza.

- Oh. I've made a pizza
here and there.

The guests are hungry
and ben's already asleep,

So I'm gonna
roll up my sleeves

And see if I can cook
some of it for him.

- I'm gonna go to sleep.

- [In british accent] oh, yeah,
love. I need plates.

- [In british accent]
oh, bloody hell.

- Ladies...

[Laughter]
please.

- Come lay down.
- Guys, please.

I don't want anyone
to film this.

I don't want to ruin
my presidential run.

- Pizza.

- Yeah! Whoo!

- Here's smaller
margarita pizza.

You're welcome.

- I'm so aroused right now.

- Yeah, you're welcome.

- I hope the interior crew know

That when we get
a good tip,

It was because of some
really spectacular pizzas

That saved this charter.

[Laughs]

- It's awesome.
- Yeah!

- You make good pizza.
- My man!

- Thank you.
- Yeah!

I can cut two, guys.
Multi-talented.

[Indistinct chatter]

- So these girls are like,

"Kelley and ben
are so cute."

They think you're both like--
they both think you're so cute.

- Since we're having
this talk...

- Oh, gosh. What is it?

What?

- Yeah, up on the sundeck.

- It was a surprise kiss.
It was a surprise.

- Well, how?
- He just kind of grabbed me

And kissed me.

- Yeah.
- What?

- She kind of pushed me away.
- I'm blushing. Oh!

- [Laughs]
- oh. Oh.

- I caught her off guard.
- Okay.

- It would be one thing
if we were, like,

Sitting together, like,
looking at each other's eyes,

And it was just a moment.

And I leaned in,
and he leaned in, and we kissed.

- Uh-huh.
- That's a thing.

But, like, he literally
just, like,

Grabbed my face
and kissed me.

- Not gonna say
that's a full-blown rejection,

But if she doesn't reciprocate,
okay.

But at least
you put it out there.

- I mean, I know you have
a boyfriend.

- Yeah. For me, like,
that's a stressful situation,

Because it does thr*aten
my relationship with him,

And that scares me.

With kelley, I've seen things
that I know that I can accept

In him as a person
as my friend.

But to get to another level
of closeness,

I don't know that I can
go there right now.

- Really proud of you
for putting yourself out there.

Guys have it harder
asking girls out,

Or making the first move.

So, like, that's a hard
thing to do.

- He's a good person.
- Yeah.

- But he's not...

My person.
- You don't think so?

[Pop music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- Oh!

- The little bastard.

- They're such slippery
little [bleep], aren't they?

- Oh, indeed they are.

- This last breakfast is really
important to pull it off,

Because they're thinking about
everything that's gone down

In the past few days.

And, you know,
all I can think about

Is that stupid penis blanket,

And how kate might have
[bleep] this up for us.

Would you like
something to drink?

- Um, could I get
an orange juice?

- Mmm, and they're still warm.

- Are they?
- Yes, they are.

- Courtney's up there,
but she said she's coming back

To order later.
- Oh, that's gonna be fun.

- I know.
- Can't wait.

- Nothing about this charter
was easy.

And now dean and two guests
are leaving early.

So now they get to have
a special sendoff on a tender.

- Hi, guys.
- Hi.

- Good to see everyone again.
Captain.

- Dean, it's been a pleasure
having you onboard.

- It's been a lot of fun.
- Thank you so much.

- I've been on a lot of boats,

And I kind of expect a lot.

I think a couple of things
fell down.

One thing in particular
I want to address

Is the towel art.

- [Bleep].

Kiss goodbye to a good tip.

- That's something I want
to talk to you about.

Um...

- We've just worked so hard,

And for it to be jeopardized
by something that stupid--

It's taking our breath away.

- I thought it was
hilarious.

I really did.

The thing was, it--

I wasn't sure who did it.

And I was hoping
you had done it,

But I didn't know.

- That dean,
he was letting me squirm.

And he loved it.

- So I did really enjoy it.

- He thought it was funny.
Hallelujah.

- The care you all put
into the white party.

The bonfire was so much fun.
The band.

The whole crew,
I really appreciate everything.

And I have something
for the captain here.

- Thank you, sir.
- There you go. Absolutely.

- Thanks.
- A lot of fun.

- That envelope looks
pretty damn big.

It's almost the size
of the penis on dean's bed.

- Thanks again.
- Absolutely.

- Pleasure having you guys.
- It was great being here.

- See you.

- Two years ago I wouldn't have
made that blanket.

So maybe that's a sign

I don't want to be a yachtie
much longer.

- We are up and locked.
- Okay, we're out of here, g*ng.

- Whoa, you're making
your own breakfast.

You're putting my waffles
to shame there.

- Off we go.

Are those guests'?

You got to throw it
and quick-cycle it with bleach.

- Oh, my god.

- We are in final tow,

Making our entrance
into the harbor.

[Upbeat music]

[Indistinct radio chatter]

- Bye, guys.
- Bye.

- Thank you so much.
- Oh, yeah.

- Bye.

[Indistinct chatter]

- Let's do it again soon.

- Whoo. Champagne, anyone?

- Yes.
- My turn.

- The whole bottle.

- I need everybody
down on the crew mast a.s.a.p.

That was a tough charter.

- Yes.

- That crew--you guys
stepped your game up--

Were short one person.

It was ugly, so I know you guys
busted your ass.

I appreciate it.

This guy was tough.

And he was happy
when he left.

But we're better
than just being okay.

I don't want us
to be just okay.

Okay's right here.

I expect us to be
way up here.

He did leave us
a good tip.

Tip was 18 grand.
[All laugh]

The other good thing
about that

Is we only got to split it
ten ways.

[All cheer]

- Aah! We got a huge tip.

I really thought we were not
gonna get a tip at all.

Surprise, surprise.
They left us a lot of money.

- So, kate...

$1,800.

- Whoo!
- Amazed.

This charter has definitely
changed my opinion

Of my crew members.

I know what I did
was outrageous,

But I wish that they had
had the compassion

To wait until the tip was bad
to lash out at me.

So, really, they just showed me
that they're greedy

Rather than loyal.

- And if I could have a minute
of your time. Okay?

- Fine.

Female narrator:
coming up.

- Kelley kissed me.
- Well, that's not good.

[Pop music]

- Little awkward.

Oh, hello, eddie.
- How was last night for you?

- Not as productive
as I wanted it to be,

But kelley kissed me.

[Laughs]

- Well, that's not good.

That's not good because,
you know,

It gets in the way
of getting work done.

- I don't mean for it
to affect my work.

I'm not going to,
but I think on a personal level,

You know, it's a little bit
skewed right now

Because of the situation.

- This could be really bad.

This could be
really bad.

Thanks for telling me that.
- You're welcome, eddie.

- Kate, kate. Lee.

- Go ahead.
- Could I get your presence

Up here in the sky lounge
for a minute?

- I don't understand why I have
to keep explaining myself.

Hi.
- Hi. Have a seat.

- We got the biggest tip ever,

And I think the blanket's
something to do with it.

- The joke that you played,
it was a little on the edge.

Could have went either way.
- I know.

But a lot of things they did
were edgy.

- I think, had other people
not found out about it,

I think that would have been
much better.

I think maybe you got
a little nervous about which way

It was gonna be perceived.

- I wasn't, until other people
were like--

Yeah, ben was yelling at me.
- Okay.

- Saying, "you jeopardized
the entire crew's tip."

And I'm thinking--
I even said to him,

"Have we ever had a bad tip
since I've been onboard?

Trust me.
I don't think it's a bad thing."

But when everybody else
started questioning it,

Of course I got defensive,
I got nervous.

- I need you to be totally and
unequivocally honest with me

All the time.

The crime is not
in doing the crime.

The crime is in the cover-up.

- That's the only thing
I feel bad for.

- That's what bites people
in the ass.

- I've never done anything
like that before.

And I don't think I'll ever do
anything like it again.

But I don't regret it.

- Let's just put this behind us
and move forward.

- Thank you.
- Okay?

- How's it going
below deck?

[Laughs]

- Great.

- Oh, my god.

- Don't do that.
- No [bleep].

- Okay. Good talk.

Female narrator:
next time, on below deck.

- I know it was a little random
that I just up and kissed you.

Just trying to get
where your head's at.

- I recognize that you
get angry sometimes.

Like, it's too much
for me.

Don't walk away.
- Good.

- Are they getting it on?

- Yeah, baby.
Get it on!

- Why isn't the wine there?

Why are they leaving one bottle
right out for seven people?

- Ultimately, our service
sucked tonight.

- A lot of these people
should be fired.

- I'm tired of listening
to you talk.

- I don't give a [bleep]
what you do.

- You want to grab jennice?
She's around all those guys.

- I'll get her.
- Oh!

I haven't played jenga
in a long time.

- You'd like
spin the bottle.

- Y'all were [bleep]
talking [bleep]?

- No, he wasn't talking [bleep]
okay?

- We're leaving. We're leav--
hey, get the [bleep] going.

- This is not gonna be good.

- Is your girlfriend
supposed to be here?

- Yeah, I have a friend
that I was supposed to meet,

But I don't know if she's here.
Oh, there you are.

- You're [bleep] kidding me.

Who's there waiting?

The devil.