03x08 - Boom Boom in the Laundry Room

[bunniefuu]

- Previously

- Previously
on "Below Deck"...

- No fáááing sháá.

- Dane is hammered.

It almost got to the point

where I was not
completely comfortable

going to bed knowing that he
was feet away from my bed.

- You fáááing ass.

- Do you want to cook?
Would you like to cook?

Are you any good at cooking?
- I told you--

- Then don't come out
with that bullsháá to me, yeah?

Don't insult me.

- I have to have
those two working together

on the same page.

- I do not like you one bit.

- Real professional.

- My mind is pretty made up.

[cell phone chimes]

- "Pay attention, girl!

"Stop going to sleep so early
on slow days,

and you might get
some stress relieved."

[cell phone chimes]

Whoa!

- The owner's decided to give
you guys a day off at a resort.

all: Yeah!

[horn blows]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Getting a day off
in yachting

is like getting a whole week
off on land.

I'm really looking forward
to our day-cation,

as long as I can avoid Leon.

- Here we go.

- This is, like,
perfect weather.

- It is.
- It's beautiful.

- Fun!

- You guys, say good-bye.

We'll miss you.
- No.

- Not.

- There's a reason I've been
in this industry this long,

basically a maid.

There are great perks,

and I am so excited,

I cannot get off this boat
fast enough.

- Dock over there?
- Yeah.

- Fantastic.
- Yeah, it's beautiful.

- Hey, guys.
How you doing?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Welcome to Lubbers' Landing.
- Thank you.

- We're happy to have you.
- We're excited.

- We're actually
getting 24 hours off the boat.

It's gonna be a great time
just to relax and kick back

and blow off some steam

that has been building up
while we've been on charter.

- This is just the bar.
- Nice.

- This is my wife, Amy.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Just as important--

That is Niecy.
She's our bartender.

- Hi.
- She's gonna take care of you.

- Yeah!
- Bahama Mamas.

- Now, dinner and the first
round of drinks is on the house.

- Whoo.
- Awesome.

- Cheers, guys.
- Cheers.

Welcome to Lubbers' Landing.
- Yeah, paradise.

- Thank you.
This is amazing.

- So there's three cottages.

- I feel like
Swiss Family Robinson.

- This is so beautiful.
- It's really cute.

- Oh, my gosh.
Am I dreaming?

- I'm gonna go just make my way
to the beach.

- It's just so perfect.

There's, like, nothing,

like, I would want here
to make this better.

- Operation Avoid Leon,
fully under way.

- Last night...

He was sitting at the table
just yelling and cussing

and pounding Crown.

I mean, I get hammered,
but I don't think I get scary.

- Well, let's not
worry about it.

- Yeah, yeah, let's just--
- Cheers, guys. No stress.

all: Yeah.
- Salud.

- Let's not worry about it.

I knew that he had
a few drinks last night,

but I didn't know he was
getting belligerent and creepy.

I wish somebody
would have told me that.

- No stress.
All good things.

- All you got to know is,
if that happens again,

just wake us up, okay?

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Who's all going surfing?
- Three of us.

♪ ♪

- This is the b*mb,
surfing in the Bahamas.

- Whoo!

♪ ♪

- I've surfed
all around the world,

and how cool is it to say,
"Dude, I surfed in the Bahamas"?

- When I was younger,
I traveled the world surfing,

competed, had sponsors.

So, being able to surf
in the middle of working,

there's nothing
better than that.

- I think this
is the first time

I honestly feel as if we're
in the Caribbean,

being always working,

stuck in that fáááing galley.
- [laughs]

- ♪ Do de de do do do ♪

Don't tilt it too fast,
or it will fall in your nose.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[laughs]
- Whoo!

- I completely agree.

Dane drinks
like a professional...

a professional jerk.

[dog barks]

- Hi.
- I mean, we are literally

in complete paradise.

- I just was thinking
the same thing.

- I feel like I can say this
to you now too,

since I feel like
you and I are really good,

like, on our
personal level.

When we're on the boat
and things are going on between,

like, you and Leon
or you and Rocky,

like, sometimes
I, like, feel

like I'm a little bit caught
in the middle.

- I thought that Amy and I

had gotten really close
this charter season,

so my feelings
are kind of hurt

that she feels stuck
in the middle.

I would never expect you to put
yourself in that position,

and that's kind of the beauty
of being a second stew.

You don't have to put yourself
in the middle.

I thought
she was on my side.

Like, could you
maybe be 60/40?

- Cheers.

[indistinct chatter]

- Niecy,
where's my drink, hon?

- Hey, don't shout.
- Don't do that.

- I'm not. I'm not. I'm gonna
leave that girl--

Watch.
I'm gonna leave her a hundo.

- I would like to wear a dress
for dinner,

but it's gonna be cold.

- Oh. Uh-oh.
- Hey, guys.

- [laughs]
- How's it going?

- Anybody want a cocktail?

- You have to make a drink
in that.

- You know what?

Everyone should just drink beer
'cause it's way easier.

- I'd like a Stoli with soda
and a splash of cranberry.

- You're gonna love it.

- A little more
of this, please.

Can you--
[laughs]

- Yeah, motherfáááer,

did you make his drink good?
[all laugh]

- If I'm spending
my hard-earned money,

I want to get what I want.

- I'm gonna
keep the pizzas coming out.

- Awesome.
- Yay.

- So nice.
Thank you, man.

- [laughs]
Yeah, dude!

That was too good
of an assist.

- Dane, come over.

- I'm proud
of every single one of you.

I'm proud of what we
have done so far.

Let's keep the fire hot,

and let's finish it out strong,
all right?

[all cheering]

- Nice.
- Oh.

- Kook.
[laughs]

- What just happened?

- I hit her hand.

Two more?

- Dane's getting cut off.

He needs to chill out.
Too much.

- It's entertainment.

- It won't be entertainment
when he comes back to my cabin,

I'm telling you.
You be prepared, bro.

- Hey, y'all, can we
take a picture on the pole

with the three of us or four,
if we can fit?

- Okay, let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go.

- Maybe it should just be
y'all two.

- Oh, whoa.
Yeah, yeah, girl.

Yeah, girl.
Yeah, girl. Oh.

I don't know what's going on,
but I love it.

- Hey.
- Okay, yeah.

- That's amazing.

- Oh.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Go, Eddie. Go, Eddie.
Go, Eddie!

- Aah.
- Yeah!

[laughing]

- Eddie,
coming in hot there.

You got some strength
I didn't know about.

- Let's go make
some s'mores, y'all.

[upbeat music]

- All right, the fire's going.

- You guys want me to set up
your "shmores" to roast?

- What's a "shmore"?

- What? Chef!
- Yeah.

- I swear to God,
if a marshmallow comes

flinging off that and hits me--

- This is a true story.

All right, now, it is gonna
bother it y'all women.

When I was,
like, five years old

a guy broke
into our fáááing house

and my dad
had to wrangle us,

and my parent, and my mom--
my parent--my mom--

We were all under the bed
and loaded shotgun

and tell this fáááing guy,

"You fáááing come up the stairs,
I'm gonna fáááing k*ll you."

I don't know,
I'm one of those--

Like, yeah, I had, like--
you know, I wanted the shotgun

over the bed,
but, you know, of course,

a lot of people
don't like that.

Have you all seen
any of the asteroid storms?

Like, I remember when I
was young...

Dad, you know, I don't know, he
sleeps naked so I feel like...

The guy's holding a r*fle
up the stairs.

Like, what?

- I mean, Dane
is rambling to the point,

I don't know
what he's talking about.

He definitely doesn't even
know what he's talking about.

- Y'all know
what I'm talking about.

- I'm gonna go to bed.
I'll see you later.

- There was one of those.

- What can I do, Connie?
"You like me, then you're done"?

- Well, why don't you just walk
in there and see what she says?

- That's what I want to do.

- So why don't
you just try it?

What's the worst
that could happen?

- Fááá it.
- She gonna say no?

- I'm still totally rooting for
Rocky and Emile to get together,

only because
he gets so cranky,

and she's just a fáááing
off-the-charts wack ass.

I feel like I'd have an orgasm
if they banged, fááá.

- [sighs]

[sighs]
Fááá.

- I'm fáááing wasted.

- I'm gonna walk up there.

If Dane's at the bar, I'm gonna
cut straight to our room.

- Where the fááá
are all the girls at?

- All Amy and I want to do
is get to bed,

but we have to find a way
to get the phone

and get past Dane
at the same time.

- [whispering]
He's by the bar with Eddie.

- And everybody sees I just
tipped them a 100,

so I'm allowed
to come behind the bar.

Suck my fáááing d*ck.

Eddie, you need a drink
while I'm here?

- It is our day off, but Dane
is still part of my crew,

and I do feel responsible
for him.

You are
a angry motherfáááer.

Just, relax.

- This is my day off,

and I came out
to have a good time.

[both whisper indistinctly]
- They saw us.

- Oh, there's my cell phone.
- Hey, girls.

You feel like laying
around commando, like--

- No, I dropped
my cell phone earlier.

- You find it?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, and Amy's over hid--

- Oh, no, I was checking--

- No, no, no, no, no.
- I found my cell phone.

- I was check--Oh, there it is!
- [laughs]

- I was looking
for her cell phone.

- It was right here
the whole time.

- I was looking for her cell
phone. Where was it?

- I don't know.
It's right here.

All right.
- Oh, gosh.

- Good night.
Don't drink too much.

both:
Oh, my God.

- [mockingly]
"Don't drink too much."

This fáááing dumb
fáááing bullsháá.

- Dane,
what are you doing, man?

- Fáááing bullsháá.

- I know, dude,
but, dude, stop.

- Hell, no, man.
- Just stop.

What are you doing?
- You telling me not to drink?

What the fááá?
- Dude, fáááing slow down.

- Dude, no one tel--"slow down"?
- Hey, slow down. Slow down.

Stop. Just relax.

- If I'm not on the boat,
don't tell me what to do.

No, I'm not dealing
with this sááá.

- I understand.

- No one even wants me here,
and I--

- That is not true.
I want you here.

- Well, guess what.
I don't want to be here.

- Now you're here
doing the job,

doing the job
that you first applied to.

- I've applied for a lot of--
Dude, do not--

- Get your finger
out of my face.

- He has no boundaries.
- You got your--

- Get your finger
out of my face.

- You just pulled
a full bottle.

Get off it. Get off it now!
- What are you gonna do?

- Get off it.
- Really? No.

- Back off.
- What?

You're gonna
put that bottle down...

- No.
- Or I'm gonna go get

another bottle,
or I'm gonna lay you out.

- You take your pick
on what you want to do.

None of them are good choices.
- I'm getting a bottle.

- Go walk away and relax.
- No. Uh-uh.

- Okay.
- No. I'm done.

Fááá all y'all,
y'all motherfáááers.

- This is not appropriate
behavior for a yachtie,

for a person who works on land,

for a escapee
from an insane asylum.

[line trilling]

- Everything all right?
- Hey, Cap.

Sorry to wake you up,
but we got an issue.

Coming up...

- I know I got a decision
I can make.

- No, I don't think
the decision's yours.

Sorry to wake you up,
but we got an issue.

Dane is totally flying
off the hook right now.

He's stealing bottles from
the bar, yelling and screaming

and just--

You're wearing
a fáááing pink-ass fáááing polo.

- I can't control him. We really
need to get him out of here.

It's got to happen.

- Okay, I'm gonna
send the tender out,

pick Dane up...
- Yes, sir.

- And get his ass
back to the boat.

- Right.

Captain's orders
are that we have to send Dane

back to the boat,
so that's what we're doing.

- Give me my fáááing bag, yeah.

I'm gone.

Hey, good fáááing meeting ya.

- You're a piece of sháá, kid.

- How's that high life
for you, brother?

- Better than your life,
motherfáááer.

- Fáááing pink shirt.

- Boy's got
straight-up issues.

- Fáááing motherfáááers

- I am so glad Dane is gone.

[dramatic music]

- Sleep well,
'cause I'm going to bed.

both:
Yeah, us too.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- It's ridiculous.

It is ridiculous.

Everyone gets wasted.

I'm done getting lectured.

♪ ♪

- Good morning, guys.
I need to talk to you two.

Dane was taken off
the island last night.

I had to call Captain Lee
to get him taken out of here.

- Shut up.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Shut up.

- How did that happen?

- He got out of control.

- I need Dane
to the bridge, now.

I have two rules.

Don't embarrass yourself,
and don't embarrass the boat.

He broke both of 'em.

Have a seat.

I hear you had
a little excitement last night.

- I did, I did.

- Tell me about it?

- I've been, I guess, putting--

not acting myself and stuff.

- Yeah.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.
- So back to paradise.

- Back to the real world.
- Home sweet home.

- Just everything
is just not--

- Everything like what?

- [sighs]
I mean, the crew is all right,

but, you know,
I feel weird vibes from them.

- It got crazy last night.

If you have to wake up
Captain Lee

in the middle of the night
to come get you,

you're a fáááing child.
- On a separate island.

- I know I got
a decision I can make.

- No, I don't think--I don't
think the decision's yours.

We won't be needing
your services any longer.

- Okay, that's fine.
- So...

- Thank you.
All right.

- There's your ticket.

- You have a nice one,
Captain.

I already decided that
last night when I did all that

that I wasn't gonna be back
on the boat,

so I like that Captain Lee's

trying to s*ab that
in there real quick,

but whatever makes him sleep
better at night, he can have it.

[groans]

- All right, guys,
back to paradise.

- Attention, all crew.

Can I see everyone
up in the main salon, please?

I'm aware of what transpired
last night with Dane,

and, uh...

He's gone.

Got a plane ticket

from Captain Lee's
travel agency.

- He's gone.

Like, I just want to, like,
retire that room completely.

- We've got four more
charters left,

and not having him here
dragging us down

is more than enough reason
to have him gone.

- Thank God.

I'd rather have
to deal with no deckhands

than have to deal with Dane.

And, you know, I know
he's got a serious problem,

and I really hope he works
it out, but not on my watch.

- We need to get whatever he has
left in his room packed up

so we can get it off the boat.

- Put it in a trash bag.

- Perfect.
- Yeah.

- [laughs]

- Any questions, comments?

- I would just say that we
are working together,

so to keep our words
and our tongues

respectful and professional.

- Couldn't agree more.

- So, great.
- Carry on.

- Thank you, Captain.

- Just putting the trash
where it needs to be.

- He have a lot of stuff
left in the room?

- Oh, I have to show you this.

He took my empty--

As I'm packing,
I find my empty...

- No.
[laughs]

- My empty hair wax bottle
in his sink.

- That's bizarre.
- That is weird.

- Is he a hoarder?
- I--

- Why would he do that?

- Hey, Leon,
so, last charter,

things got a little bit heated
on your side,

and I feel like I let you
express your opinion

quite a lot.

Do you mind not cleaning
while we have this talk?

'Cause it's important to me.

I'm hoping that Leon just
got a little bit overheated.

- I just want to say something.
I don't like you one bit.

Is that okay--not like
you say to other people?

I do not like you one bit.

- Maybe we can actually have
the civil conversation

I was hoping to have.

Maybe it's because you're used
to working in restaurants,

but this is more
than just a restaurant.

- I'm sorry.
Who the fááá are you?

What is a true yacht chef?

[scoffs]
Grumpy little girl.

- I feel like how you spoke
to me was a personal att*ck.

- Are you finished now?
- Sure.

- Can I say something?
- Of course.

I really don't give a fááá.

Is that okay?

I really don't give a fááá.

I'm not here to like you.
I'm here to do a job.

That's it, nothing more,
nothing less.

Will we be friends?
Never.

- There's so many things
I want to say,

but yet I can't really say them
because you're my boss.

That's why I love Leon,

because he doesn't put up
with Kate's sháá.

- We just do the job
we need to do.

You give me
the same courtesy back,

and I'll give you
the same respect back.

- I don't want
to make friendship bracelets,

but we have to work as a team,

and we have
to respect each other.

- Thank you.
I'm done.

- This is still
a conversation.

- No, no. I've said my thing.
You've said yours.

- Well, if you speak
about common courtesy,

I don't think saying--
- Okay.

I haven't got time
to listen to you, Kate.

I'm busy.
- You're not...

- Sorry. Sorry.
- Behaving like an adult...

- I haven't got time
to talk to you, Kate.

- Or a professional.
- I've got things--

Professional?
You might want to look

at yourself
in the mirror, girlfriend.

- Okay.

- Kate, Leon, and Eddie,

can I get you guys
up to the wheelhouse right away?

- Leon and Eddie copy.

- Yeah, yeah, that's awkward.

- Next charter.

- "Punkass Caldwell."

- Ooh, he's kind of hot.
- Who's TapouT?

- Ooh, he found TapouT?

TapouT is, like,
a UFC apparel company.

- Yeah.
- Huge.

- Yeah, $200 million,
I think so.

And his brother, Damon.

Dan and Damon, double D.

- Same as their girlfriends.

- Right? Yeah.

- It says they want
healthy food.

You got
your order in, Chef?

- No, I should be okay.

- We're not gonna have
any issues with protein shakes,

egg whites, veggies?

- No, talking about protein,
obviously they're gonna bring

their own protein mixes on,
is that correct, or...?

What's the scenario with that?
- Let's order some.

Let's not get caught
with our knickers down.

Just judging
from the looks of them,

they look like they
mean that sháá.

- And they'll hold you to it.

It's like Leon even
has a power trip over the guests

he hasn't even met yet.

- So we got four couples.

They like to party
and all the toys.

And we need
a romantic dinner.

- Too easy.

- All right.
- Let's hope so.

- I'm excited.
- Okay, we're done here.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

[cell phone clicking]

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone clicking]

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone clicking]

[cell phone chimes]

- Oh, my God.
Okay, well, hey, this is cool.

This is fun. This is funny.

But, like, okay,

unless you're gonna
make a move here,

I don't know what to do.

- Eduardo says yes.

[whispers]
Someone's coming.

- [laughs]

- [moaning]
- [laughs]

- Coming up...

- Could you maybe have the chef
come out after dinner?

- Certainly.
- Ladies and gentlemen.

Scallops.

♪ ♪

- I'm so frickin' glad
Dane's gone.

It's, like, relaxing
to not hear his voice.

- It is.

♪ ♪

- So how are you feeling
about this charter?

Are we gonna see
some wrestling?

- I would like
to wrestle some of them.

- Yeah.

- I'm gonna get
some g*dd*mn peanut butter,

'cause I looked last night
for it.

- Aw, there's a whole bunch
in the stew pantry.

I'll bring some down.
- Could you bring me some?

I need my peanut butter.
- I'll bring you peanut butter.

Yo, it got real last night.

Do you want some peanut butter?
- I want my peanut butter.

- [laughs]

We were both like,
"Yeah, that was rad."

And we both needed that,
so, like, okay.

Whatever.

- I need everybody on deck
in their whites in ten.

- I need a holster.
- I was just about to say that.

- All crew, all crew,
come to main deck, aft.

The guests are on their way.

- They're early.
- Rocky!

- Welcome aboard.
- Good evening, sir.

- Captain Lee.
- Oh. Dan Caldwell.

- Dan, my pleasure. How are you?
- Ildiko.

- My pleasure. Captain Lee.
- Hi, how are you?

- This is a good-looking
charter group.

They all look beautiful.
The guys are smoking hot.

They've got it going on.

- Welcome aboard "Eros."

We have got a great few days
planned out for you.

Let's just
get the party started.

- Let's do it.
- All right.

- We're ready.

- So here we
have the main salon.

- Nice. Love it. Love it.
Look at that table.

- Deck crew, deck crew,

everybody please get
into position

for undocking procedures.

- This is the sky lounge.

There's a TV, full bar.

- Is there a bartender?
- There's three.

Dan is not my typical type,

but those tattoos, those eyes,

there's like
a quiet strength about him.

He's just so handsome,
but tough, but sweet, but wise.

Ah.
He's cute.

- Oh, yeah.
- Huge Jacuzzi.

- Did you say
there were weights?

- We have yoga mats and weights.
- Perfect.

- All right, let's do this now.

Emile, cut the bow loose.
Let's go.

I need this to move quickly.

We got a lull
in the wind so let's do it.

Let's go with that stern line
on the double.

- Stern line's off.

- Oh, my gosh,
it's so pretty.

- We gonna go dive
for lobster, are we?

- Yeah.

- All right. We are clear.
We can go.

All deck crew,
all deck crew, great job.

- Hello.
- Hello. How are you?

- I'm good.
Thank you.

So I believe one of you has
chosen no butter, no olive oil.

- I do, like, fitness
competitions, body building.

- Yeah.
- So I just have to--

it'll upset my stomach
because so I'm so used to not.

- Okay.

- We all want
to eat really well.

- Yeah, all lean meat?

- Very lean.
- Very lean.

- They said if I'm eating good,
they're eating good.

- Right, okay, then, yeah.
Anything else?

- Any chance you've got
some protein on the--

- Plenty of proteins.

We've got plenty of egg whites.
- Protein shakes?

- One of the guys
has got some protein shakes.

- Do you have kale?
- Yes, I've got kale.

- Yes, I love kale salads.
- That's what I got.

- Oh, no.

Egg whites
would be good, no?

- It was really clearly printed
on their preference sheet--

"protein shake for breakfast."

Breakfast--that's
the chef's responsibility.

He makes breakfast.

This is a meal replacement
for geriatrics.

- I'll get cracking on lunch
for you guys shortly.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you. Not a problem.

Thank you, guys.

- All stop. Let's get ready
to drop the hook.

- Copy, dropping.

[anchor rattling]

- They said we're gonna
go lobster diving.

- Is everyone ready?
- Are you serious?

- Yeah, my girlfriend's coming.
- Okay.

[mellow music]

- You guys got to lotion up.
- Whoo.

♪ ♪

- Masks, snorkels,
wet suits, fins.

- That's working?
- Yeah, of course.

♪ ♪

- You guys ready?
- Yes.

- She's changing.

- The primary's girlfriend
has everybody waiting,

but, I mean,
who wouldn't wait for her?

[indistinct chatter]

- Punch it.

[tropical music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Eddie.
The temperature's at 98.

- Awesome.

- How is life a man down?

- A lot smoother.

I mean, yeah, we have
more work to do...

- Uh-huh.
- But the work that we're doing

is, like, "Oh, we can talk and
communicate with each other."

- That's nice.

- Everything is going smooth
right now.

- Why you got to say that?

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Okay, so the guests
want lunch in 15 to 20.

Hey, Connie, did you guys
get any lobsters?

- No, we ended up
just snorkeling.

Copy.

Did you hear that?

I think Leon is confused

about the definition
of communication.

- Hey, 15 more days.

- Less than 15, girlfriend.

You got those ramekins?

- Eight, he needs
eight ramekins, Kate.

- Takes two to tango
in my life.

I'm sorry--
you want to tango with me,

be prepared
to finish the dance off.

- You want to wipe these down
for him?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, she looks beautiful.
- She does.

- Thank you.

- Leon. Leon.

Start the scallops.

♪ ♪

- Cheers.

- As soon as the scallops
are on, all right,

you're good to go.
- They're ready to go?

- Yeah.
- Hey.

- So here we have
diver scallops,

and that's over apple puree
with squid ink.

Some cucumber, fish roe,
and pickled onions. Enjoy.

- Thank you.

- Do you like scallops?

- No, not really.

They're just not my...

- It's a little easier
when you like seafood.

When you don't like seafood--

- I kind of feel
like they're not loving it.

- I'm hungry.
- Mm-hmm.

- How was it?

Can I get anybody anything
at all?

- Yeah, you know what?

Do you think we could order
a chicken quesadilla?

- Sure.

Hey, Leon, the charter guests
have requested

a chicken quesadilla.

- Yeah, I've got scallops
and everything else,

you know what I mean?

I'm got to see if there's
any chicken downstairs.

- Leon, I tried a scallop
and thought it was delicious,

but some of them
are weirded out

so they must not have been
scallops people.

- Fáááing quesadillas.

- That's the most
simplistic thing you can get.

Taco Bell can make that
in a minute and 45 seconds.

I know, because I get it,
and I love it.

- Fááá me.

- Hey, listen, guys.

Um, let's just
try to really stay focused.

Guys, we're gonna get tired.
I think that

with the cards that we have been
dealt as deck crew,

I wanted to say personally
that I think both of you guys

are doing really,
really well.

- This is really refreshing.
Eddie's in a good mood.

I guess he finally realized

that we're actually not
such a bad deck crew after all.

- Like, Emile,
you have come leaps and bounds.

And, Connie, I mean,

you are just a great,
great deckhand,

and if you guys had sex
and had a little baby...

- [laughs]

- The most
ultimate deckhand ever,

straight out of the womb.

- Eddie's in a good mood.

We must be doing
an excellent job.

- But anyway, guys,
let's keep it tight, all right?

- Here we go.

- Kate, Kate.
- Yes.

- [whispering] I wanted to talk
to you in private real quick.

- Sure, okay.

- So Dan and I--
we just had our anniversary,

and I was hoping maybe there was
something you guys could do--

maybe some flowers...
- Of course.

- And, like, a couple's massage
or something.

- I can definitely arrange that.
- Yeah?

- Okay. So let me see what time
I can get somebody to the boat,

and I'll check in
with you tomorrow.

Sound good?
- Yeah.

- Okay. No worries.
- Thank you.

- My pleasure.

- Beautiful.
Thank you.

- Aw.
- Hey.

- It's hard to, like, push
through and be your awesome self

when everyone's telling you,
like, you suck

or your dishes suck
or, like, all this stuff.

It's hard. And so I think
Chef's doing a good job.

- How's everybody doing?
- Great.

- Good?
- Great.

- Certainly.

Hey, Leon.

The primary would like to see
you out by the dinner table.

Do you need
a white chef's jacket?

- I'm gonna go get one.

- Ladies and gentlemen.
- Hello.

- Hi.

- So we had scallops.
Some people don't like 'em.

- Yeah, I think
they made me sick.

- Got 'em flew in yesterday
all the way from Miami, fresh.

Tomorrow we've got prawns,
eye fillet, lobster.

- I don't want a prawn.

Don't put one on my plate.
- No prawns?

- Leon gets so complacent

that I think he loses sight
of what he's even doing,

and Dan is not happy,

and it's pretty hot.

- Sorry about that.
- It was really good.

- No problem.
Thank you, guys.

I'm not gonna be an assáááá.

They were fantastic scallops,

and, you know, you've missed out
on an opportunity.

But, hey, that's their choice.

- Coming up...

- Are the guests
not happy with the food?

- Do I think you can blow
them away?

Absolutely.
- Of course I could...

yeah, if I wanted.

- You just said you could blow
them out if you want to.

Man up, Leon.

- Three.

- [mockingly]
Yeah, that's great.

That feels great.
Yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna go put
my TapouT shirt on...

so then people know how badass
I am because I wear TapouT.

It's like, when I wear TapouT,

people know that
I can kick their ass.

I mean,
I'm just so muscular,

I just can't lift my own arms
because they weigh so much.

[grunting]

- Circle, circle, circle.

- Oh, circles,
little circles.

- [laughs]
- He's not stopping.

- Go.
- All set.

- Here's the tentative plan.

I have a masseuse
coming on board around 4:30.

- What's her name?

- Hugo.

♪ ♪

Hello, ladies.
- Hi. - My goodness.

- [laughs]
- Holy Moses.

- How are you guys?
- Are you serious?

I could totally use
that, too, right now.

Yeah.

- Ahh.
[laughs]

- For dinner, do you have
something fun planned?

- I just want to know
for the primary, that's it,

whether we give him
the lobster.

I'll have it there anyway,
but I mean--

- Maybe appetizers you can go up
there and chat with them

and double-check.

I think the more interaction

you have with the guests,
the better.

Like, at the end of the day,
we all have the same goal--

to have good charters,
to have happy guests,

and food is such a part
of that, you know?

Are you getting b*rned out?

- Me? No.

- Because for me,
I guess just, like, a chef,

like, creativity and, like,
you get these certain dishes

you like with the charter,

so you just, like,
keep doing that.

- Are the guests
not happy with the food?

- This charter--do I think
you can blow them away?

Absolutely.

- Of course I could, yeah,
if I wanted.

- You just said you could blow
them out if you want to,

but it's like you're not
even wanting to.

- Your produce has got
a lot to do with it.

The produce is crap.

- Do you not want
more than that?

Man up, Leon.
Man up.

Take some pride in your work.

Do what you said
you could do on your résumé.

I don't want to come down
and, like, criticize you,

but I know
you've got it in you,

and so I'm just confused
as to why,

for whatever reason,
you don't really care.

Okay, I get it.
I get it, Kate.

Hey, Kate, I had
an interesting chat with Leon.

- Oh, really?
- I just told him, like...

I just think that...

that some of the shortcuts
and things he's been taking

aren't up to the standard.
- How he'd take it?

- He blamed it on the produce
and then--

- I was gonna tell you.

He always blames it
on something else.

- This charter, it's been like,
"Come on, buddy.

I know you have it in you,
and you could blow them away."

He was like,
"Yeah, I could if I wanted to."

I was like,
"But you don't want to."

And that's why I was
kind of getting down--

Like, why are you here?
- That's the problem.

- Why are you here?

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, that looks great!
Way to go!

- You think so?
- Crushing it!

- The guests want
a really romantic dinner.

I want to really
go all out for them,

'cause they just
weren't very impressed

with last night's meal.

- Kate, just throwing an idea
out there--

like, maybe after dinner Eddie
can pretend like he's fishing,

and he pulls in a mermaid.
- Okay.

- That's just
a thought I have,

just 'cause I feel like they
might be missing a little spark

or a flame from this charter.

What are you thinking?

- Okay, we can go with it.
- Okay.

- These guys are boring.

I'm trying
to spice things up,

'cause who wants things
to be sterile and boring?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Rocky.
Go get your tail on.

- Go get my tail on.

- These plates
look like a collection of crap.

Where's the spoon smear, Leon?

Where's the specially placed
dots, Leon?

- Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]

- There you are.

So we have lobster, filet,
some roast vegetables.

Enjoy.

Red wine?

- You know what? I think I'm
just gonna finish off the white.

- Okay.

- They don't have a lot
of feedback for the food,

so I really hope
they're enjoying it.

- Excuse me?

Can we talk to the chef
about the...

steak?

- Of course.

- Leon, Leon,

if you could please
put on your chef's jacket,

they'd like to see you
after dessert.

- Great, great.
The suit is great.

- What about the shell top
that I made?

I drilled holes in them.
- I know, I know. It's awesome.

- I feel like we're
having, like, a cool moment.

We're bonding
as, like, crew members.

- You're sitting here in a...

I'm having trouble
kind of processing

actually what's going on
right now.

I went against
my maiden rule--

never hooking up
with someone on charter,

especially 'cause
I have a girlfriend,

but also
because it's a bad idea.

- You kind of think I'm,
like, one of the cooler people.

You think I'm pretty cool.
- I think you're pretty nuts.

- [laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

- Ladies, gentlemen.
- Hey, there he is.

- After yesterday,

I was worried about
how everything was gonna go,

and we got our dinner tonight,

and you redeemed yourself
in a big way.

- Thank you. Team effort.
- It was totally amazing.

- No problem.
Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you.

- We all wanted to thank
you personally.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you. Okay.

- Is there Bailey's in there?
- I heard something.

- I think I got one!
I got one!

Oh!
- Oh-ho!

- I think I got one!

I got one!

What is that thing?

- Oh, my God.

- What is that thing?

- What the heck?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

- Whoo!
- Oh, my God.

[laughs]

- Mermaid saves the evening.
Bam!

- Good night.
- Good night, guys.

- Sleep well.

- See you tomorrow.
- Good night.

- Damn, bro.
You good-looking.

- Thanks for coming
on my boat.

I'm the boatswain.

- My boss. He's great.

- He's a circus clown.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Good morning.

- Beautiful.

This is what I wanted it
to be like the whole time.

- All right, go ahead, Eddie.

Let's do it.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Anchor's home.
We're off.

♪ ♪

- Let's lock them spring lines
in so we don't move back.

Copy that.
Nice job, everybody.

- You ready?

[playful music]

♪ ♪

- Come on, let's go.

[cell phone clicking]

- We're waiting
on the primary's girlfriend.

At this point, I think
she might become a stowaway

and just stay
with the boat forever.

And she's welcome to do that.

I'll take care of Dan.

- Were you guys packed
last night or something?

- No.

- No?
- All right.

- I'm sad, guys.

- My guests loved it,
so that makes me happy.

You're amazing.
- No problem. Take care, yeah?

- Thank you.
- Great seeing you.

- Thank you so much, ma'am.
We had such a great time.

- Cap.
- Dan.

- Ah, bring it in.
[all laughing]

We're new money
and us, you know,

coming out on a time
like this, and you guys--

We realize how hard you guys
worked to make it great for us.

- Oh, thank you.
- And here's more.

- Yeah, we do a gangster
rubber band there.

- Yeah!
- You do it right.

- [laughs] Appreciate it.
- Thanks, you guys.

all: Bye.
- Thank you.

- I'm so jealous.
- That's really touching.

- Attention, all crew.
Attention, all crew.

I need everybody
in the crew mess

for a crew meeting
in exactly three minutes.

[electronic music]

- g*ng's all here.

- You all right?
- Tired.

- Okay.
I was uniquely impressed

by the dynamics
of this charter.

I don't know
if you guys noticed it.

You know when we had everybody
ready to go lobster diving?

And everybody
is sitting there in the tender,

and we waited
for 10 minutes, for 15.

We waited for 30.
We waited for 40 minutes.

That didn't strike me as odd.

What struck me as odd
is nobody complained.

So I was impressed by it.

- Captain Lee is giving a subtle
speech to our crew members,

but disguising it
as commending the guests.

No complaints should be
everyone's motto.

- There is some stuff
that, in our team,

that is bubbling
just beneath the surface,

and my worst nightmare

is that this thing
is gonna bubble over.

I demand your cooperation,
and I will get it.

- Coming up...

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- [laughing]

- Oh, my God!
She left her wig!

She left it! Yes!

- Captain says
we're grounded tonight.

We've got different plans.

- What do we do?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, my--

- We'll move on from here.
He left us 15 large.

That's the good news.

And the other good news
is we only split it 10 ways.

Sorry, Dane, but thank you.

- [chuckles]

- Thank you, Captain.

- There you go, kid.

We're not gonna
have a night out tonight.

You guys want to have
a few beers,

I don't have
an issue with that.

Let's go to work.

- It's like
an adult lava lamp.

- Where the hell
are the bubbles?

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Captain says
we're grounded tonight.

We've got different plans.

We're gonna have a girls' night
and take advantage

of the fact that we are living
on a $20 million yacht.

- What the hell is this sháá?

- Oh, my God!
She left her wig!

She left it!
Yes!

- I find the primary's
complete set of hair extensions.

[laughing]
Somebody's got to have...

- You need hedge trimmers
for that.

- Oh, my gosh. You have her hair
on your vag*na.

- Who would ever be like,
"Hey, I forgot my wig"?

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone chimes]

[cell phone chimes]

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- I am in charge
of watching the bubble bath.

Sháá.

- [laughing]

Oh, my God.

- [laughing]
What do we do?

- What the hell is wrong--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, my G--
- It's off.

- It's under control now.

- I'm trying to sleep.
- That's why it's a quickie.

It's an in-out
kind of thing.

In and out.

[laughs]

- This is like bathtub
confessions.

- I've had enough!

- Guys, don't make me
stuff it in your face!

- I'm so happy.

- [laughing]
- Ow.

[laughing]
- Eduardo loves the ladies.

- Next time on "Below Deck"...

- Allen Miller, Senior,
celebrating his 50th.

- He looks like Ryan Gosling.

They are single.

- [gasps]

- You're so sexy, baby.

I like it when you're quiet.

- Oh, no.

- Don't throw
that box away.

- I don't think
the boat needs a bigger box.

- Listen to me.
It's going back in the box.

Fáááing hell.

[fire alarm blaring]
- It's a fire. That's a fire!

- Where?
- It's in there.

- Oh, my God.