02x08 - That's So Not Raven

[bunniefuu]

My love for shoes.

By Raven Baxter.

"So many shoes,
but only two feet.

"I wish I could buy
every pair that I meet.

Wedges, sandals,
slingbacks and mules..."

Thank you, everybody.

This has always
been a dream of mine.

That was so cool!

And I'm still in school.

I feel like a fool.

I'll sit on my stool.

Well, actually, it's a seat,

but it rhymes with...
Okay, poem's over.

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ if you could gaze
into the future ♪

♪ future, future ♪

♪ you might think life
would be a breeze ♪

♪ life is a breeze ♪

♪ seeing trouble
from a distance ♪

♪ yeah ♪ go, Rae.

♪ But it's not that easy ♪

♪ oh, no ♪
take it to the bridge now.

♪ I try to save the situation ♪

♪ then I end up misbehaving ♪

♪ hey, now, say, now, about
to break down, yeah, come on ♪

♪ and ride with the Rae now ♪
♪ hey ♪

♪ and if the future
looks gray now ♪

♪ then everything's
gonna change now ♪

♪ all right, here we go ♪
♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious
to me ♪ I like that.

♪ That's so Raven ♪
♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious
to me, yeah. ♪

Yep, that's me.

I'm telling you, Chels,

this was an
all-time great vision.

But what could it mean?

I have no idea.

Now if you don't
mind, I'm trying to read

the new issue of teen look.

I was on a runway
at a fashion show

in front of a cheering crowd.

Look, they're having a
clothing design contest.

The winning design will
be modeled on a runway

in front of a cheering crowd.

I felt so beautiful and proud.

You know what? Whoever wins this

is going to feel so
beautiful and proud.

So cool.

Give me that.

Chels, this is it!

I'm going to be modeling
my own creations!

I'm going to win the contest!

Okay, Raven. Calm down.

Now one thing at a time.

Let's figure out that vision.

Three,

two...

one.

Oh!

I knew you'd get there.

Yeah.

Come on.

William, did you upgrade
my video game system?

Sorry, Cory, I'm a
genius, not a magician.

I thought you
could fix anything.

That is true.

But I'm afraid your game ball 1

is hopelessly obsolete.

There's only one solution...

your game ball 2.

Cory, you have plenty of money.

Why don't you buy one?

The first rule of money:

"Never use your own."

You boys having fun?

Sadly, no.

Cory's game system is antiquated

and technologically inferior.

Check you out.

What an impressive vocabulary.

The kids call him
"captain brainy pants."

Oh, how cute.

Sadly, no.

They call me that

as they taunt
me... Unmercifully.

Well, don't you worry.

One day those same
kids will be working for you.

Wait until they hear I
don't have the game ball 2.

You know what
they're going to call me?

Hmm? Captain greedy pants?

Ouch!

That hurt.

But nothing says
sorry like a game ball 2.

Forget it, Cory.

The answer is no.

Please, mom?! I got to have it!

Cory!

Mama, please, I got to have it!

Cory, you have a guest.

Right! William,
grab the other leg.

Can you believe this?

I can be in teen look magazine

modeling the dress I designed.

I'm telling you, Rae,
you're going to blow up.

I know.

All you have to
do is b*at out, like,

hundreds and hundreds
of super-talented hopefuls

who share the same
impossible dreams.

But they didn't have a vision.

Which is cool 'cause...
Yeah, nice save.

Uh-huh. Thanks, Chels.

I'm going to go change now.

Okay.

Chels, look at that model!

You think I have
a sh*t with her?

Well, of course, you do, Eddie.

Come on. Go get her.

Be smooth.

Be smooth. Be smooth.

Okay.

Emayshia, we need
you in wardrobe.

Maybe half a sh*t.

Hello, hopefuls.

I'm Victoria kayne,
former supermodel

and current editor-in-chief
of teen look magazine.

Today our judges will decide
which designers will move on

to the finals at our
big fashion show.

Now let's begin.

Our first model is wearing
an evening dress designed

by Lucy ulrich.

Don't they make any
models in my size?

Our next model is...

Yes, I know what
you all are thinking.

Is this a Raven original?

I'd be speechless, too.

Excuse me.

Aren't you the designer?

This I am.

Actually, everybody,

I was designing
since I was in diapers.

I used to design my
own diapers, in fact.

I used to put little
glitter and sayings

and, you know, little flowers.

Try and add a little
beauty to the doody.

Super.

But where is your model?

You're looking at her.

I have always dreamed of
modeling my own creations.

Ooh, honey, you are
working that dress.

Now that is
something I would buy.

Well, when you
do, just don't rip out

the little itchy
tag in the back.

My name's going to
be on it... Raven Baxter.

We may have a
problem with this one.

Victor, you told me

you couldn't clean
out the refrigerator

because you were working out.

I am.

And flip, and Chip, and flip,

and dip. Mm.

And shake it out.

You don't want
to work out, fine.

But why'd you have to
go buy that buff guy 5000

if you knew you
weren't going to use it?

I use it.

Mm-hmm. As a coat rack.

Mom, I want to apologize

for my childish
behavior the other day.

Well, thank you, sweetie.

Yeah, I've done some
growing up since then.

And now I'd like to state
my case in a mature way.

What does he want?

Game ball 2.

What?

Cory, we just bought
you game ball 1.

Look, we can't keep buying
you stuff that you don't use.

Trust your father on this.

He knows what
he's talking about.

I understand your concern,

but I think I can
change your minds.

William, let's kick it!

Y'all ready for this?

Have we always had that?

Why does Cory
need the game ball 2?

As we begin our...

First, my life without the ball.

A life of exclusion, ridicule...

And ultimately... failure.

And now my life
with game ball 2.

Happiness, popularity,
and ultimately...

Success!

Your own son's future.

The choice is yours!

What do you say?

No!

Oh, man.

Look, Cory, if you
really want a game ball 2,

then why don't you
put this much effort

into raising your own money?

You could sell your game ball 1

and all the other toys
you don't even play with.

Okay, fine.

But now you don't
get the balloons.

My bad.

"And who will cry
with tears so wet

"when we say good-bye

to that black-footed
ferr... et?"

Very impressive.

Thank you.

Not you.

I'm talking about this
article in teen look magazine

that I confiscated last period.

Raven Baxter is a finalist in
the young designers contest.

Oh, yes!

People, people, let me tell you,

dreams really do
come true. Believe.

Let me see! Let
me see! Let me see!

What?

How can they do this to me?

It is me.

I mean, that's my face
and that's my dress,

but that's not my body.

Let's check it out.

Rae, let us see the picture.

Ms. Kayne.

Oh, Raven, congratulations
on making the finals.

Yeah. Um, my dress did,

but my body didn't.

Oh, don't thank me.

We've got the best

photo retoucher in the business.

Why did you make me
look super skinny anyway?

I thought you liked my design.

My dear, we love your design.

We just don't
love you wearing it.

Why not?

Well, let's put it this way:

You just don't have the look.

Well, this is the
only look I have.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, here's how it works.

You're a designer.

Emayshia, our
cover girl, is a model.

Now, forget that dress of yours

and go and make a new
one in emayshia's size.

She'll model it in
the show next week.

Emayshia?

No, I make my dresses for me.

You see, I kind of
had this, this vision

where I was on the runway,
right, and I was hitting it.

Let me tell you.

And the lights were flashing

and I was bam, bam, bam, bam!

Sweetheart,

the only way that's
going to happen

is if you were a size two.

Hey, girl, you're back.

Yeah, I made it in the finals.

I knew it.

I know a winner when I see one.

Wait, Rae,

you want to get
down to a size two?

Chels, I have to, okay?

That vision was just so clear.

I was up on that runway, so
I must have been a size two.

Okay, you know
what, Rae, look...

This... this is a size two.

Chels, I mean,
that's the look, and...

I want the look.

And I'll do whatever it
takes to get... the look.

Okay, Rae, wait a minute,
you're not going to do

something stupid like go on
one of those crash diets, are you?

Girl, no. Those
things are dangerous.

I'm going to exercise.

Cool. You know what?
We could do it together.

Hey, you want to jog down to
the mall and get some pizza?

No, Chels, I got to
do this old school.

Um, uh... You mean...?

Yeah.

I'm going to have to sweat.

Ew.

A lot.

According to my
preliminary calculations,

our sidewalk sale

should yield a hefty profit.

If all that means I'm
getting the game ball 2,

bring it on.

What are you doing
on dad's coatrack?

I'm about to get my workout on.

I got to burn a
whole lot of calories

in a little bit of time.

Ah, thermogenesis.

Yeah, whatever, little man.

I'm just trying
to fit into a dress.

No pain, no gain.

Have you considered
a larger dress?

I know that look.

Let's book.

Beginner's workout.

Arms, arms...
Legs, legs... Abs...

Oh, snap and a half
abs, arms, arms...

Legs, abs...

Oh, dad sprung for
the built-in spray-mister.

Go ahead, dad!

This is easy.

Let me put this
up a little bit more.

Here we go.

Moderate workout.

Legs, legs...
Arms, arms... Mist.

Yes, I am...

Hey, fly, I'm trying
to work out here.

Now get out of my way now.

Fly, you better get away.

Don't bother me.

Don't make me hurt you, fly.

Hey, I'm about to
SWAT, fly. You better...

Extreme workout.

Professional athletes only.

Sounds like your
sister's in pain.

No, pain, no gain.

Technical malfunction.
Technical malfunction.

Technical malfunction.
Technical malfunction.

Technical malfunction...

Leg... arm... arm... Ab... ab...

Who was I kidding?

I'll never get to
model this dress.

That was the stupidest
vision I ever had.

We didn't sell
one stinking thing.

That was the worst
sidewalk sale ever.

Let's face it, William,

we're never going to
get the game ball 2.

How could I have miscalculated

our profit margin to
such an extreme level?

I hate myself.

Excuse me.

I'm looking for

the "mega outrageous
bargain extravaganza."

You're looking at it.

Make me an offer.

Oh, I'm not much
of a toy person.

Besides, this is a box of crud.

How much is this lamp?

I'm sorry, ma'am, I
can't sell you that.

I'll give you $20.

Maybe I wasn't clear.

I can't sell you that...
For less than $25.

Ten minutes, people.

Don't worry, Rae, you designed

such a beautiful dress, and
it looks good on both of you.

Yeah, but no one's
going to see me in it.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, hey, Mimi.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, attitude alert.

I know.

Mimi, hey, did I do something?

Yeah. You sold out.

I mean, I thought you were going

to be wearing that dress.

I wanted to, but
I wanted to win.

And just once,

I wanted to see a regular person

out there modeling clothes

for regular people.

What can I do?

I don't have "the look."

The... That may be

"the look," but it's
not the only look.

Welcome to teen look magazine's
young designers contest,

with your host Victoria kayne.

Ladies and gentlemen,

teen look's fashion
design finalists.

Our first beautiful creation

was designed by
Kayla harrington.

Isn't she super?

Our next lovely
original was designed

by Raven Baxter...

What are you doing up here?

I'm modeling my dress.

You should not be up there.

Oh, I think I should.

My baby made that dress.

And I made that baby.

And I helped.

Ooh, it's a pose down.

♪ You walk into a room ♪

♪ and all the eyes are on you ♪

♪ you are the fantasy ♪

Yeah, Rae! Work it!

♪ It's like a dream come true ♪

♪ just the way you want it ♪

♪ but I know a part of you ♪

♪ nobody ever sees ♪

♪ just look down
deep inside of you ♪

♪ to see if you are beautiful ♪

♪ you got to hold
your head up high ♪

♪ to be a true original ♪

You're ruining my show!

You know I think she's
actually pretty good.

I don't pay you to think.

This girl does
not have the look.

The look? Who says
that's the only look?

You make people feel bad
if they don't look like that.

No one looks like that.

I don't even look like that.

Because in case
you haven't noticed

people come in all shapes and
sizes and they're all beautiful.

Tell it, girl!

Speak the truth.

Put that in your magazine.

♪ Just look down
deep inside of you ♪

♪ to see if you are beautiful ♪

♪ you got to hold
your head up high ♪

Whoo! Go, Raven!

♪ To be a true original ♪

Thank you, thank you.

This has always
been a dream of mine.

Actually, it's kind of like...

Ooh, male models. Oh, wait!

No, wait! Stop it!

We cleaned up today.

We sold everything.

It's all about the
Benjamins, baby.

Did I phrase that correctly?

Just keep on counting, William.

Corey... William...

What happened?!

We've been robbed!

But they left money.

I don't know what you did,

but you guys are
in so much trouble.