04x04 - Unhappy Medium

[bunniefuu]

Hey, what are
they all looking at?

I don't know, but it's in a
classroom. It can't be that exciting.

Hey, y'all, come here. There's
a Hollywood film crew in there.

Why? When did they
start going to our school?

No, they're scouting
locations for their new movie,

honor roll zombies.

Wait a second. They're
sh**ting a movie in our school?

Yeah!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Aw, that's toshi nakamara,

the hottest director
in Hollywood!

As the hottest director in
Hollywood, I say perfect!

Becky, this is where I'm gonna
stage the final battle scene.

Ok? Nikki! Nicks!

Whoa!

What do you think of this place?

You feel this? You feel this?

This location is great, toshi.

It's so... High school-ie.

You guys, you guys,
that's Nikki Logan!

She's, like, one of
my favorite actresses.

She was so awesome
as the vegetarian detective

in dude, where's my eggplant?

Yeah, and her house
in Malibu is off the chain.

I saw it on young,
rich, and fabulous.

Yeah! No, I totally saw that.

Yeah, her bathtub is so big, she
even has her own diving board.

Chelse... That was
her swimming pool.

That would make more sense.

I could go for something sweet.

Nikki, no!

♪ If you could gaze
into the future ♪

♪ future, future ♪

♪ you might think life
would be a breeze ♪

♪ life is a breeze ♪

♪ seeing trouble
from a distance ♪

♪ yeah ♪ go, ra!

♪ But it's not that easy ♪
♪ oh, no ♪

♪ I try to save the situation ♪

♪ then I end up misbehavin' ♪

♪ ohh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ hey, now, say now
'bout to put it down ♪

♪ yeah come on
and ride with ra now ♪

♪ and the future
looks great now ♪

♪ and everything's
gonna change now ♪

♪ all right ♪
♪ let's keep it goin' ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious to me ♪

♪ I like that ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious
to me, yeah ♪

yep, that's me.

Help! Security!

Huh? What? Security
is not necessary.

Security... oh, wait! I
was just helping her.

She was choking on
her martian mango Taffy!

Wait a minute. Let her go.

Oh!

Gently, nicely.

How did you know I had
martian mango Taffy?

Huh?

This Taffy comes in 73 flavors.

I saw it on rich,
young, and fabulous.

No, they said I liked
very, very Berry Taffy.

I just switched to martian
mango this morning.

Oh. You would have to
be a psychic to know that.

No, no, no! No, I'm not psychic.

Oh, what a bummer.

'Cause I'm playing a
psychic in this movie,

and I've been looking for a
real psychic to hang out with

and help me
understand my character.

Hang out? Nikki,
Nikki Logan, Nikki...

um, hang... hang out with?

Heh! Uh...

Like... like chillin'
like friends?

Like pals?

Like home skillet biscuits?

Exactly.

And I need somebody soon

because we start
sh**ting tomorrow.

Ok, ok, ok!

Truth be told, I am psychic.

I knew it! Yes, Nikki!
Yes, you were right!

But here's the deal. Shh.

I had a vision that
you were choking

on a piece of mango
Taffy, Nikki Logan,

and I needed to save you.

So a psychic saved my life?

I can't believe you just
fell into my life lap this.

Ooh, ooh, I fell on your head,

but we ain't gotta
tell nobody, ok?

I have so many questions.

Nikki Logan, I have
your answers. I do.

I'm home skillets
with Nikki Logan!

Logan and me
chillin' like we're cool.

Hey, hey, mail call.

Cory, I think this is what
you've been waiting for.

Yes. It's a poster of
my favorite boxer...

lullaby Lopez!

Lullaby? Why do
they call him lullaby?

'Cause one punch,

and it is nighty-night for you.

Fizzo punch?

Ok, why does he have
that written all over him?

Well, I guess a lot of
people watch lullaby fight,

and the fizzo people
probably pay him a lot of money

to advertise on his body.

Wow. You know...

I get around a
little bit myself.

And for the right price,

I could advertise
for the chill... Grill.

No... way.

Why... not?

It's... tacky?

Come on, Cory. Why do you want
somebody to write all over your body?

Hey, I'm wearing my skin anyway.

Why waste this beautiful
advertising space?

Look at that. That's right.

Forget it. The chill grill doesn't
need that kind of advertising.

Well...

Maybe I'll find
someone who does.

Oh, my goodness! It was so
cool taking a limousine home.

We don't have a hot
tub on our school bus.

Oh, that was nothing.

Wait till I fly you down
to Malibu in my private jet.

It's like a par-tay
in the clouds.

Oh, my goodness. A
par-tay in the clouds!

What it is, what it is, whassup?

Yo, can my best friends
come so we can par-tay, too?

Sure.

Yeah, I'll put you all
in the guest house.

Oh, Usher lives next
door. I hope you don't mind

facing his glass-enclosed
workout room.

Ohh. You know that
man never wears a shirt.

I know. It's a shame.

That's ok. I'll take care of it.

Ok, before we start... Ok.

I just want to thank you
for helping me understand

what a real psychic is like.

Oh.

'Cause after honor roll zombies,

I will finally be taken
seriously as an actress.

Nikki Logan, what
are home skillets for?

You know what I'm sayin'?

So...

What's first in a typical
day of a psychic?

I want to observe
everything you do.

Ok, all right.

I... am gonna go get
some orange juice.

Juice.

So is orange juice, like,
some kind of psychic potion

that give you visions and...

N... no, I was just thirsty.

Are you having a vision?

What do you see?

Buried treasure!

A missing person?

Is there gonna be an earthquake?

No. Ugh, this orange
juice has turned!

This is nasty!

How come you didn't
know that already?

Nikki Logan, you're right.

I should've checked the label.

Smart.

No! No, I mean, you're psychic.

Couldn't you have seen that in
your crystal ball or something?

Heh! Crystal ball.

No, no. Listen.

See, what happens is,

is that I get these
occasional visions

that may... Or
may not come true.

It's crazy.

Really? Yep.

That's it? That's it.

It's amazing how some
people might think that,

you know, psychics
are these freaks

who get this jolt of energy,

and we see the
spirits, and... and whoo!

They trippin' when they
think that 'cause it ain't true.

Heh heh. Ah...

So other than the
occasional vision

that may or may not come true,

you're just a regular kid?

Yes, Nikki Logan. Yes.

And you know what? It's so
good that you understand that

because now you can portray
that psychics are just normal people.

We're not freaks!

And now I can really
go out into the world

and be normal, and that
just feels so good inside.

Yeah, yeah.

Because I've been
hiding for so long.

That's nice. Richard, you
can bring the car around.

Ooh, the car! What
happened? Where we goin'?

Oh, no. I'm going.

Oh, ok! Well, um,
we're still on for,

you know, Malibu,

par-tay in the clouds
with Usher. Hey!

What up? What up? You know
what I'm sayin'? Like that, right?

Ha.

I will definitely get
back to you on that.

Nikki Logan ain't gettin'
back to me on that.

So long, Malibu.

Hey, babe. Ha ha ha ha ha!

We were just in the
neighborhood and decided...

Nikki's gone. What?

Oh, man, I was hoping she needed
a leading man for her new movie.

The bus driver said
I look like p. Diddy.

Heh!

You look more like the bus.

Man, I can't believe
Nikki's not here.

I wanted her to
sign my eggplant.

How come you can't just get a regular
autograph album like everybody else?

Excuse me! Do you know how long
it takes to grow autograph albums?

Anyway...

Nikki invited us on her
private jet to go to Malibu.

Yes! But I blew it.

No! You know what?

She wanted to see what
a real psychic was like.

Well, that should've
been easy, ra.

All you had to do
was be yourself.

And I did, and she
was totally bored.

Well, what did you
say? Tell me everything.

Ok, so I came home from school,

I went to the refrigerator,
and I got some orange juice.

Ok, classic Raven.

Man, what's her problem?

I don't even know, Chelse.

And you know what?
She's one of those people

that thinks that psychics are
freaks. You know what I'm sayin'?

She wants me to jump around
and channel spirits and... whoo!

But it's not... ra! What?

It is Malibu, ok?

Would it have k*lled you
to talk to some spirits?

Listen...

She wanted to know
what a real psychic ws like.

We are real people.

You know, we wake up, we
go to school, we brush our teeth,

we wash our face, we put
our pants on one leg at a time!

I know I might not be the
most exciting thing ever,

all right?

But I am not about to, you know,

pretend I'm
something that I'm not

just so I can go to the parties

and hang out on the beach

and... watch Usher workout.

Shirtless...

Muscles glistening
on the glass...

I knew it was going to be you.

Because you called and
told me to rush over here.

So? What is it?

Well, I know I
led you to believe

that I am one of those boring,

juice-drinking psychics,

but now that I can
trust you, Nikki Logan...

Aah! Whoo!

Are you having a vision?

Yes! Yes, and it's a big one!

It's a big one!

It's coming! It's coming!

I'm melting!

I'm melting!

Here's Johnny!

I see dead people!

What?

What a vision!

What did you see?

Come closer, Nikki Logan.

I saw you... In Malibu.

Sitting on a pile of money.

You had just won
an award for your role

in honor roll zombies.

Oh! Which one?

Greatest actress on earth.

I didn't know there
was such a thing.

Oh, oh, Nikki Logan,

there is... in the future.

Raven, thank you!

Now I know exactly
how to play this character.

Oh, I'm glad I could help.

No. You did more than help.

You made me the
greatest actress on earth.

Oh!

I gotta go.

My big psychic scene's at 5:00.

Oh, girl, yes! Work it, work it!

Ooh-ooh-ooh!

Ooh-ooh-ooh!

Yeah, girl, work
it! Keep it real! Yes.

I'll see you in Malibu.Ciao.

Oh,ciao, Nikki Logan.
Tell Usher I said whassup?

Whoo! Yes! Yes! Yes!

♪ I'm goin' to Malibu ♪

♪ I'm goin' to Malibu ♪

You are the worst actress
on earth. You're fired.

Oh, snap.

Talk to you later, Maurice.

Uh, Cory?

Where are you going?

Out.

Like that? It's hot out.

Oh, um, you know what?

I'm not wearing socks.

Cory.

Shut the door. Come here.

Ok.

Son, what are you wearing
underneath that jacket?

What jacket? I don't... Cory.

Just remember, dad...
I came to you first.

The grub club?

Subs?

Burgers?

Son, you working
for the grub club?

Do you realize how
much business I'm losing?

All my customers
are going there.

Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't realize

this type of advertising
would be so effective.

Well, it is.

Now go upstairs and
wash that stuff off.

I wish I could.

This paint won't wear
off for another week.

And besides, I
signed a contract.

You know, I got to
get back out there.

Well, I did teach you to
honor your commitments.

Boy, was I stupid.

Zombies, look alive, all right?

And remember, in order
to make the honor roll,

you have to catch
the nerd, eat the brain!

But keep it real.

And... action!

Ahh!

Hey, guys. Did Nikki
do her scene yet?

No, the zombies are
still eating the chess club.

Aah!

Did you show her what a
fake psychic really acts like?

Yeah, and she loved it.

So we're going to Malibu?

Not exactly. After she left,

I had a vision that
she's going to act

all freaky like I
did and get fired.

Well, that's going to make
Malibu kind of awkward.

Chelse, forget about Malibu, ok?

I sold out to be friends
with a movie star,

you know? And now it's
going to ruin her career,

and it's all my fault.
I gotta stop her.

Now, that's classic Raven.

Uh, cut. Cut.

Just slurp the
eyeball. Slurp it.

Sorry, no one gets on the set

unless they work on the film.

Oh, ok. Well, I'm
close, personal friends

with Nikki Logan.

Well, why don't
you stand over there

with her other close,
personal friends?

Ok, we're not
getting in that way.

Um... hey! Let's go
through the school yard.

Good idea.

They fixed the
hole in the fence?

What kind of school is this?

Ooh! Free ice cream sundae bar!

I most definitely got to
get into show business.

Ok, people,

break's over.
Everyone back on set.

Back on set!

Ok, Raven, here's your
chance. Up and over.

Uh, yeah, little problem...

Can't climb. Never could.

Oh, sure you can.

You just need a
running start, you know?

Get a little momentum.

Oh, ok. Come on.

Ahem.

She was right. She can't climb.

Never could.

Please tell me I'm
on the other side.

You're gonna need a boost.

Unh!

Ok, put your foot in here.

Yeah, come on.
What, are you serious?

Yes, I'm serious. Come on.

All right. Ok. All right.

Look, y'all. I'm climbing!

I can make it. Raven!

Hold that leg.

Why you doing me like this?

Oh, oh!

Hey, look, you guys!

I'm climbing!

I made it!

Oh, I'm on top of the wo... ahh!

I'm ok. I'm ok.

Ohh. Except for this
ice cream headache.

Ugh.

What is going on out here?

All zombies should
be on the set.

Nikki is waiting to
do her big scene.

What? No. I'm not a z... Nikki?

Wait. Must... must eat
brains. Must eat brains.

Must eat brains.

Oh, hey, dad.

Well, if it isn't Mr. Grub club.

Look, dad, I know
what I did was wrong,

but hey, I want
to make it right.

Well, I'm glad you
realized your mistake, son.

But there's nothing
we can do about it now.

Maybe there is.

My space is all booked up,

but I found you another body

that's guaranteed to
get you some attention.

Is that aunt Sadie?

Pretty cool, huh?

That's an elephant.

Yeah. I took the money I
made from the grub club

and I rented Jumanji.

Who is an elephant?

I think we
established that, dad.

There's an elephant
in my living room.

Yep, and we are going to
park him in front of the grub club

and start getting all
your customers back.

That's great.

How did you get him in here?

Oh, getting him in
was the easy part.

See, see...

Getting him out is
what I'm worried about.

We got your aunt Sadie out.

Nikki? Nikki, Nikki.

Ok, um, this is the most
important scene in the movie.

Ok, this is where you use

your psychic vision
to destroy the zombies.

Are you ready?
Don't worry, toshi.

I've done my research.

I know exactly how to play this.

Ok.

Um, zombies, let me hear you.

That's wonderful.

Ok, let's go,
let's go, let's go.

I'm not supposed...
Clear the set.

Becky, clear the
set. Now, Becky. Ok.

Great. And, um, action.

Aah! Ugh!

Whoa! Whoa! I'm having a vision!

Oh, this is going
to be a big one.

Oh! Ooh-ooh-ooh!

I'm melting!

I'm melting!

Oh! Aah!

Here's Johnny!

I am your father!

Whoo! Whoo-ooh-ooh!

Wait, no! Wait, no, no!

You're making the
biggest mistake of your life!

Cut! Stop!

Oh! Argh!

You are the worst actress
on earth. You're fired.

Dude, Nikki, I tried to
warn you, homie. I tried.

No, no. She's not fired,

you stupid zombie. You are.

Hold up, now, hold
up. You can't fire me.

What? I'm not going to fire her.

She's brilliant.

Oh, so that's what I saw.

Raven?

Why did you mess
up my big scene?

I... I was trying to warn
you not to act like that.

Oh! Now you're
telling me how to act?

How dare you!

I am the greatest
actress on earth.

Yeah, about that.
See, I really wanted

to chill with you in
Malibu, so I told you...

Malibu?

Please.

That was so not going to happen.

The only thing scary
about this movie

is Nikki Logan's
ridiculous performance

as a psychic zombie slayer.

Say good-bye to that
house in Malibu, Nikki.

You get my vote for the
worst actress on earth.

Whoo!

Anything else you
want to warn me about?

Um, yeah. Yeah.

Don't forget the
shoulders. Whoo!

I tried.

What up, zombie?
How you feeling?

Oh, man, I can't find my keys.

Hey ra... what happened to you?

You don't want to know.

Whoa, whoa!

Can't come in here like that.

You gotta rinse off first.

Rinse off? How am
I going to do that?

Ahh. No problem.

Jumanji!

Jumanji? Blow!

I'm ok.