03x14 - Alien Gladiators

[bunniefuu]

Guys, alien gladiators
are coming to mission creek.

[ Gasps ]
I knew this day would come.

Thankfully, I'm prepared
for an alien invasion.

Chase, you hold them off

while the rest of us
who deserve to live escape.

No, no.
Not real aliens.

My favorite Sci-Fi
movie franchise...

Alien gladiators.

They host annual
fan conventions,

and this year,
it's in mission creek.

I love alien gladiators.

In the future,
rival alien worlds

the morfs
and the zarkanians

will battle over control
of the galaxy!

Oh. I remember
that movie.

It was terrible.

The whole thing
was blurry.

You didn't wear
your 3-d glasses.

I didn't wanna
look stupid.

I bet the entire cast
will be there.

I have everybody's
autograph,

except for the new guy
playing prince landor

in the sequel...
Andre ethier.

Whoa, whoa, wait.

As in baseball superstar
Andre ethier?

Since when do you
care about baseball?

[ Scoffs ]
I love baseball.

You know,
with the bases

and... the ball.

Okay, whatever.

Andre ethier's cute,
and if he's there,

I'm there.

The convention
is going to be awesome.

They're bringing back
the fire staff challenge.

What's a fire staff?

This...

Is a fire staff.

Looks like
a stick with lights.

It's a fire staff.

Competitors battle
each other

with their own
fire staffs,

and the winner gets
a walk-on role

in the next movie.

And that winner
is going to be me.

Greetings, good morfs.

What are you doing?

Getting ready for
the alien gladiators convention.

I am elder lumina.

And elder lumina
will be victorious

in the fire staff
challenge.

Look, elderly lumina,

I hate to get
your robe in a bunch,

but that role is mine.

[ Laughs ]
That's cute.

But I've loved these movies
my entire life,

and winning that role will fill
my biggest childhood dream, so...

I think childhood dreams
expire once you hit 40.

Oh, all right,
out of the way, micro morf.

Still think I'm
too old to compete?

I don't know
what was more amazing,

your moves or the fact that
your dentures didn't fall out.

The world's first
bionic super humans.

They're stronger than us.

Faster, smarter.

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?

Pretty cool, huh?

It's shiny 'cause
I showered with it.

Okay.

You really think you're
gonna b*at Mr. Davenport?

Please. Once
he starts sweating,

he'll go blind
from his hair dye.

Okay, all caught up
on alien gladiators.

Great movies, but
they're missing one thing.

Space dog.

Space dog?

Yeah. He'd be
the perfect companion,

plus in space,
after he does his business,

it just floats away.

Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.

We weren't
waiting for you.

Back off, Bree.
It's been a bad day.

Cool fire staff.

Are you guys going to
the convention tomorrow, too?

Yep. We're even
dressing in character.

I'm going as gigabit,
half human, half robot.

And I'm going
as prince landor.

Handsome yet brave...
And handsome.

Well, I will be going as
the beautiful queen Andromeda.

Really? You?

Well, it is
a fantasy world.

We really need
new friends.

Aah! Watch the glow stick,
cirque du so-lame.

Sorry, principal Perry.
Just gettin' my morf on.

There's an alien gladiators
competition tomorrow...

Blah, blah, blah,
I hate all that morf stuff.

But alien gladiators rule.

No. I rule,

and that's why I'm
confiscating this stick.

No weapons allowed
on school grounds.

But I need this for
the fire staff competition.

And I need it to
unclog my toilet.

[ Panting and growling ]

Please sign my petition

to get space dog in
the next alien gladiators.

He'll make a solid
addition to the team.

Bark... my words.

Will you leave
people alone?

Nobody cares
about space dog.

And you look ridiculous
in that thing.

Space dog isn't
concerned with looks.

Space dog only protects.

And occasionally
eats his own vomit.

Ooh, there's the line
for the autograph signing.

I brought my action
figure carrying case

for prince landor to sign.

You mean,
Andre ethier.

No, I mean
prince landor.

Who'd want a baseball
player's autograph?

You know what
prince landor needs...

If you so much as
mention space dog

to prince landor,

I will roll up
the windows on the spaceship

and park you
next to the sun.

Hey, big d.

Hey. What took you
so long? Nervous?

No.

I had to sneak into
principal Perry's office

to get my fire staff back.

By the way, is it legal
for her to have a pet jackal?

Okay, I'm ready.
Let's do this.

The competition
hasn't started yet.

Oh. Sorry.

And that's how you do it
in dooley-ville.

Respect the robe,
okay?

Not gonna lie.

Dooley-ville got
a little lucky on that one.

Check out this evil
grand zarkanian.

What a show-off.

Probably some
over-zealous fan boy.

Uh, that fan boy just
made it to the finals,

which means it's down to you and
me to compete for the last spot.

I was hoping
this wouldn't happen.

Oh, well, time to
crush your dreams.

I trained you well.

You didn't train me.

And now,
for the final death blow.

[ Bones cr*ck, whimpering ]

What happened?

Nothing.

I'm fine.

I can battle...
And I'm falling.

I'm falling,
I'm falling.

Are you okay?
Can you see?

Of course I can see.

Good, because I don't
want you to miss

a single second
of my victory dance.

Just a few more minutes.

Just a few more minutes!

You have been
saying that for two hours.

How long until
you stop talking?

Just a few more minutes.

Hey, I'm happy we've had
all this time in line.

It's given me a chance
to collect signatures

for my space dog petition.

So far, I have space dog
and Adam Davenport.

Hey, guys.

Great costumes.

Oh, look, we both dressed
up as queen Andromeda.

I told you I was dressing
up as queen Andromeda.

Don't worry,
I'm not mad.

Hey, can I jump
in line with you?

I don't know, Caitlin.

I mean, it's
really not fair...

The morfs pride themselves
on being loyal

to fellow morfs, Bree.

Okay, fine.
Come on in.

Thanks.

Excuse me,
pardon me.

Out of the way.

Folks, turnout's higher
than expected,

so we're cutting
off the line.

Please don't riot
like you did last year.

I just got feeling
back in my scalp.

Everyone from this point
forward gets a wristband

granting them access to the
Andre ethier autograph signing.

Woo-hoo.

What about everyone else?

You get a frustrating story
to share in the cafeteria.

Caitlin!

I'm sorry.
Do I know you?

I am so jealous
of you, Leo.

The only thing standing between
you and that walk-on role

is that evil
grand zarkanian kid.

Don't worry, big d.
I got this.

Morf, morf, morf,
morf, morf, morf.

Prepare to face off

against the bravest
warrior in all of morfdom.

Be a man
and unmask yourself.

Surprise!

Please tell me
that's another mask.

Principal Perry? You said
you hate alien gladiators.

No, I said
I hated morfs.

But the zarkanians
are a deceitful

and despicable
species.

Those are my peeps.

How did you get this far
in the competition?

Yeah, you have the muscle
tone of a newborn calf.

He should be eliminated.

He stole that fire staff
from my locked office.

That's illegal.

So is having
a jackal in school.

Fight on!

[ Bell clanging ]

Dinner break!

What's wrong?

Perry fights dirty.

I'll never be able
to b*at her.

I would much rather you win
that walk-on role than Perry.

So perhaps,
during the dinner break,

young prince landor
would benefit from

the Sage mentoring
of elder lumina.

The same elder lumina who's now
using his fire staff as a cane?

It's not a cane.

It's a space-age
walking enhancer.

I can't believe I'm gonna
meet prince landor.

We're gonna be
best friends!

Caitlin, we were
in line first.

We only let you in
as a courtesy.

Which is why I deserve
that wristband.

What happened to
morf loyalty?

Get a grip, dude.
It's just a movie.

Give me that wristband!

You're not gettin'
out of here

till Mr. Ethier
has left the building,

so sit tight, nerds.

Greetings,
good morfs.

I am mindmeldor,
spiritual guide,

and the most eligible
bachelor in the galaxy.

Nope? Nothin'?

Uh, the zarkanians
have captured us.

Not now, nerd.
Look what you've done.

Because of you, I'm gonna miss
out on meeting prince landor.

Well, so am I.

And now I'm stuck in here
with you, giga-butt.

Giga-butt. Really?

- [ Both arguing ]
- Silence, morfs.

Halt this bickering,
else I will melt thee brains.

Okay, it's melt
thy brains.

Learn your morfian
lexicology.

This guy...
What a loser.

Look, just like
principal Perry,

the zarkanians' greatest
weakness is their anger.

When they get mad
during an att*ck,

they lose sight of
their defense.

What does that mean?

You have to get her
to charge at you.

But if I do that,
won't she charge at me?

Yes, that's what you want.

Yes, and then, you do
my signature move...

The morf vortex.

The morf vortex?

Just so you know, you can get
too nerdy with this.

[ Sighs ]
Great.

Now I'm stuck in here
with a bunch of weirdos.

Says Bree
every Saturday night.

Guys, look.

Oh!

The guard left
his sandwich.

Chase, you're gonna
have to use

your molecular kinesis
to get it for me.

Or...

I could use it
to get the keys.

After the sandwich.

Um, hello. You cannot
do that.

If mindmeldor realizes

that three bionic humans
are in front of him,

we'll become
the convention.

I've got
a better idea.

Mindmeldor, make haste.

Is there danger, gigabit?

Yes. Our
zarkanian overlord

left his keys
on the desk.

Who needs keys when
mindmeldor can explode

steel bars
with his mind?

Quite impressive.

But perhaps you could use
your mind-shifting abilities

to retrieve the keys.

You serious, dude?

[ Clears throat ]

Oh...

I am the morf queen.

Impress me with your
mental prowess,

and I'll...

Be into you and stuff.

Yeah, you will.

I mean, your wish
is my command, your highness.

Yeah, also, see if you
can nab that sandwich.

Yes!

I did it!
I am mindmeldor!

Mom!!

Hey!

What are you doing?

You betrayed us,

and morfs pride themselves
on being loyal

to fellow morfs,
Caitlin.

Later.

Andre ethier.

Hey, you guys know
where I can change?

I got a game tonight,

and I don't wanna
make the mistake

of showing up in
this thing again.

It's not very flattering
on the jumbotron.

I'll, uh, I'll tell
you where the bathroom is

if you give me
an autograph.

- Baseball fan, huh?
- Nope.

Hey there, Andre.
I'm Bree.

That's a beautiful name.

Thank you. I came up
with it myself.

Wait. No, I didn't.

Who's talking?
Hi.

Uh, second door
on the left.

Thanks.

Space dog.
That's brilliant.

I knew it!

Prince landor,

elder lumina
would like to present you

with his warrior
master robe for battle.

Wow.

Thanks, big d.

Why does it
smell funny?

'Cause I refuse
to wash it.

Now, I've taught you

everything you need
to know to win.

Take Perry down.

Morf, morf, morf,
morf, morf, morf.

Wait, stop.
I'm hurt.

Are you okay?

Silly morf.

I will use your kindness
to b*at you.

This is it, dooley.
You're goin' down.

See, I told you.
I can't b*at her.

Yes, you can.
Use the morf vortex.

Get her to charge at you.

Come on!

Hey, principal Perry.

When I was in your office,
I broke into your cheese drawer.

[ Gasps ] What's the
point of a guard jackal

if it doesn't
do its job?

Don't let it end
like this.

Yes!

Leo, I am
so proud of you.

Thanks, big d.

But you know what's gonna
be even better than this?

Seeing you in the next
alien gladiators movie.

What?

That walk-on role is yours.

I don't know what
to say, Leo. Thank you.

No, thank you.

I underestimated you
because of your age,

but without your wisdom,
I would never have won this.

Now you can
die in peace.

Long live the morfs.

That was kind of a baseball
swing, don't you think?

I mean...

That's what I do.

We will fight
for our freedom!

Wait. That didn't
feel right.

Can we do that
one more time?

Dude, you're not
even getting paid.

We will fight
for our... wait.

Shouldn't I have a fire
staff, too, 'cause...?

Just give him one.

We will fight
for our freedom!

Should he really
be standing there?

We will fight
for our...

[ Bones cracking ]

Little help,
little help.

I'm not touchin' him.