03x16 - Spike Fright

[bunniefuu]

You double-crossed me
for the last time, Flo!

First I catch you smuggling
fish sticks in your patios

and then you think
you can walk all over me

just because you look debonair
in a hairnet?

Well, hmm, well, I guess
the hairnet's just for show.

Yew!

Okay, heads up,
stay away from Principal Perry.

Trust me,

that's the first thing
I tell myself

every morning when I wake up.

Really?

First thing I tell myself is

"Shaving cream
only looks like food."

What's the matter, Flo, nervous?

You should be!

One more mess-up
and I will take you out!

What are you looking at?

You keep asking me that question

and I'm still not sure I can
give you an honest answer.

Mind your own business!

If I wanted to be
stared at all day

I'd still be a catalog model
for "Burt's Chainsaws."

Adam, what are you doing?

Why do you keep making faces
like you're taking a selfie?

'Cause that girl Sabrina
has been checking me out.

Ooh, here she comes.

Hey, Sabrina.

I couldn't help but notice
you staring at me

from across the room.

Actually,
I was looking at Chase.

Oh, a sense of humor.

I like it. So...

Chase, I wanted to talk to you
about our chemistry project.

Sure, I'll do it for you.

Just give me your email

and I'll send it to you
when I'm done.

No, I want to do the project
with you.

I need a partner

and I was hoping
you'd team up with me.

Uh...

Chase,

this is when you speak.

Um...

Yeah, yeah that sounds great.

Um, meet
at my house after school?

Perfect.

Wow, that was awesome!

No one's ever asked me
to partner with them before.

Especially a girl.

[ Shivering ]

What'd you do that for?

I'm trying to wake myself up.

If a girl likes Chase over me,
this has to be a nightmare.

ANNOUNCER: The world's
first bionic superhumans.

They're stronger than us,

faster,

smarter.

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?

I can't believe

how fast you're putting
this molecular model together.

I can't believe
you're still here.

You know what I like about you,

besides being charming
and funny?

Well, it would have to be
something else

because he's neither of those.

You're nice, polite,
and even though you're bionic,

you don't feel
the need to impress me

with your muscles.

Probably because
he doesn't have any.

Will you excuse me?

Would you give it up?

She likes me, not you.

Ha!

And you said
I'd never get a girl.

This doesn't make any sense.

She's way out of your league.

She should like me.

Okay? I gave her
my selfie face.

Girls can't resist this.

Well, she just did.

'Cause she likes me.

Not you, me.

Hey, sorry about Adam.

Now what do you say
we get back to our atom?

I don't get it.

PRINCIPAL PERRY:
and another thing!

I'm sick of carrying
the weight around here.

You're useless!

What are you doing?
Shh. Worthless!

There's actually a student
or two I like more than you.

Principal Perry's
yelling at Flo again.

It's getting ugly.

You disobeyed me
for the last time!

I make the rules around here

and if you can't follow them,

then I'll put
an end to this right now!

[ Grunting ]

Did we just...

Did you just...

Did she just...

I think she just k*lled Flo.

PRINCIPAL PERRY:
Oh no, it's all over me.

I better go clean this up.

Great.

My favorite pant suit.

The waist area is still good.

Oh! I can turn it into shorts.

What do we do?

We get out of here

before she turns those things
into shorts.

Can you believe it?
Chase has a girl over.

I had to shake her hand

to make sure
she wasn't a hologram.

Mr. Davenport,
can you be honest with me?

Am I not pretty?

Just be happy for him.

Chase is a sweet, sensitive guy

and obviously she likes that.

Let's just hope
he doesn't get nervous

and mess it up.

That's right.

He could get nervous
and mess it up.

Adam, don't do anything
to ruin this for Chase.

Oh, don't worry.

I won't do anything.

Mr. Davenport,

you're not gonna believe
what we just saw!

I know, Chase has a girl over.

No!
It's Principal Perry!

Did something happen to her?

Is she okay?
I mean I'm fine either way,

but...

She got rid of Flo,
the lunch lady.

Oh, Leo, I'm sorry,

but people get fired every day.

Here, watch.

Here, I just fired Bob Macklin.

Oops.
I sent that to Bob Martin. Hmm.

Oh well, they were
both dead weight anyway.

Flo was not fired.

Principal Perry whacked her!

Yeah, they were arguing all day
and then Perry just snapped.

Come with us,
we can prove it to you.

Okay, guys,

I know Principal Perry has done
some awful things,

but this is obviously
a big misunderstanding.

I mean, do you really think

this is something
she's capable of?

It's Principal Perry.

Think about it.

Come with me.

There's something
under the bleachers

I need dug up and re-buried.

Let's pull up the school.

I want to see

if the sheriffs are
still sniffing around for me.

Don't you have janitors
to do this stuff for you?

Yeah, but they're at my house

trying to make something
look like an accident.

What's wrong with you two?
Of course, she did it.

Let's go.

I don't get it.
There's no evidence anywhere.

She must have cleaned out
to cover her tracks.

This was a complete
waste of time.

The only crime here is that
I'm late for pilates class.

You guys got me
all worked up over nothing.

No!

[ Screams ]
Oh! Oh!

What are you doing here?

School's been closed for hours.

She's wearing the shorts.

I don't know
what's more disturbing,

the fact that she may
have offed someone

or that she's showing
that much leg.

Why are you sweating...

more than usual?

I was cleaning up.

There was an accident.

An accident?

Like an accident
you diabolically planned?

Where's Flo?

Yeah, we saw you fighting
with her earlier.

Well, we patched things up.

She's in a better place now.

A better place!

There's nothing to see here.

Move along.

So then you won't mind
if we take a look around?

What's in the bags, Terry?

Bags?

What bags?

We know what's going on.

We saw everything you did.

You were yelling at Flo
and then you started pounding.

[ Gasps ] You saw that?

Oh.

Well, now you know too much.

No one's leaving.

BOTH: No one's leaving!

Look, do whatever
you want to us,

but please put on some pants.

It's beautiful.

And it only took us 4 hours
to finish it.

Actually, it was


or 13,620 seconds.

Four hours is good.

So I'll see you tomorrow
at school?

Well, yeah, but I don't have to
go home right away.

Oh.

You want to do
Thursday's homework, too.

No, I was hoping
I could just hang out.

Hang out, yes, right.

I keep forgetting you
actually like me.

I'll get us some snacks.

Hey, guess what?

Sabrina's not just using me
for help in school.

She actually
wants to hang out with me.

Not you,

me.
Me, me, me, me.

Me.

Hey, good for you.

And with all of your experience
with girls,

you'll know
just what to talk about.

Yes, I will.

Wait, what do I talk about?

I'm sure you'll figure it out.

I'd help,
but she likes you, not me.

You, you, you, you.

You.

Hey, Sabrina,
I just want to apologize

to both of you
for my inappropriate,

yet hilarious comments earlier.

Actually glad
you two are hitting it off.

Thanks.

Who knows?

You might even be
Chase's first kiss.

First kiss?

Oh yeah.

I mean, he's never even
talked to a girl before.

That's not true.
I've had a girlfriend.

She was pretty.

She was really,
really, really pretty.

I don't remember that.
What was her name again?

Um...

Canada.

Canada?

She was... she was from Canada.

Canada from Canada.
Yikes.

It's okay
to be nervous around girls.

I think it's cute.

Me too.

What are you laughing at,
Goldilocks?

He's back.

Who's back?

[ Panting ]

What's going on?

I don't know who you are,
but Spikey likey.

[ Roaring ]

I'm not sure which one
of you ladies lives here,

but it could really
use a man's touch.

[ Roaring ]

Much better.

Adam, what's wrong with him?

What is wrong with him?

The guy's a total mess.

Let's get to know me.

I'm sensitive,
caring, sensitive...

[ crashing ]

What else
do you like about Chase?

Hey!

Back off, Pretty Boy.

That's Daddy's kitten.

Trust me,
you don't want to do this.

You're right.

It'd be rude
to make the lady watch me

rip out your intestines,

which is why we're gonna do it

over there.

Check this out, toots.

Wait, you think you can throw me
across the room?

Good luck with thaaat!

Oh!

Okay, this has gone far enough.

Let us out.

I'm afraid I can't do that.

At least not until
I jam this down your gullet.

She wants to watch us eat first.

You are one sick lady!

Go ahead, dig in.

Oh, I would, but I'm
on a low carb thing...

Eat the meat, Don!

Mmm.

What's the matter?

It's a ring.

"Rusty and Flo forever."

That's the lunch lady's ring.

Oh no.

Okay, she did it.
Let's get out of here.

Nobody's going anywhere!

I can't unlock it.

Well, then maybe
you should use your bionic arm.

Right.
I have that.

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not done with you yet.

Okay, but for the record,
I always liked you.

It's the kids
that hate your guts.

Hey, let's play catch.

I'll throw, you catch

with your face.

Ha-ha!

[ Both grunting ]

Guys, please stop!

You're scaring me.

Don't worry, sweetheart.

It'll all be over soon.

Unless you want him to suffer.

Whatever the lady wants.

[ Groaning ]
Okay, that hurt.

Don't break the molecule!

Oh, oh, that was close.

Sure was.

No!

Why would you do that?

Relax, princess.

I'll make you a new one.

Out of his spine.

You are so not
who I thought you were.

I'm out of here.

You'll come back.

They always come back.

She is not coming back.

[ Beeping ]

The molecule.

What happened in here?

And where's Sabrina?

Oh, no.

Did Spike show up?

So you don't remember anything.

Like you throwing me
across the room? No.

Good, 'cause it never happened.

Wait.

You activated my commando
app on purpose, didn't you?

Of course, I did.

Look who you're talking to.

Sabrina was the first girl
who's ever shown

any interest in me
and you ruined it.

Thanks a lot.

Sorry I had to do that
with the salad tongs.

But you're the one who ran.

It doesn't matter,
the jig is up.

I'm sure Leo and Bree
have called the police by now.

No, don't get them involved.

I can explain.

What's to explain?

You offed Flo
and now you're after me.

What?

No!

I might have shoved her face

into the grill of
a pickup truck a few times,

but that's just a couple
of gals having fun.

She is my business partner.

Your what?

We're opening a food truck
together.

Since you were here I thought
maybe you would invest.

That's why
I had you taste the burgers.

Ohh.

Look, when you spit out
Flo's ring I panicked.

It must have fallen in
when we were mixing the patties.

Then I figured
you would never back me.

So that's why you kept me here,
to explain?

Yes, and then
if you didn't understand,

I was gonna k*ll you.

Kidding.
Kidding.

If I wanted you gone

I'd have done that
a long time ago.

Well, it was
one of the best burgers

I've ever tasted.

Tell you what,

I will consider investing
on two conditions.

One, I get credit
for everything.

And two, you explain to me

what makes the Davenburger
so tasty.

Sorry, Don,

we're already locked in
on "Perry Patties,"

but I will keep you in mind
for Daventenders.

Oh.

Let me show you

my top secret method
of preparation

Hand me that mallet.

I called the police.

And I've got a w*apon.

Leo, you're bionic.

Gah!
I keep forgetting.

Hey, where's Big D?

I thought he was with you.

PRINCIPAL PERRY:
This is it, Donny.

Say good-bye to everything

you ever knew.

BOTH: No! No!

It really makes a difference
when you tenderize the meat

with lots of brute force.

What?

What is going on?

Oh, hey, you're just in time.

Perry's showing me
how to pound some round.

It's really disturbing.
You can't look away.

[ Grunting ]

Wait.

So this whole thing
was about making hamburgers?

Yeah, she and Flo
are opening a food truck.

BOTH: Ohh.

Oh.

We're gonna open
a regular restaurant.

Then we figured
the health inspector's

gonna come after us anyway.

Might as well
put some wheels under us.

She's picking up the truck now.

They came up
with the perfect recipe.

There was a lot of arguing,
but we finally got it.

My secret ingredient is rage.

Hey, Chase.

Ugh!

Look, I've been thinking about
what I did to you and Sabrina

and I feel kind of bad.

Kind of bad?

You ruined my social life
forever.

Chase, to be fair,

you kind of have to have a
social life for me to ruin it.

Look,

I only did it
because I was jealous.

You were jealous of me?

I know, right?
I still can't believe it myself.

But I want to make it up to you.

So I explained
everything to Sabrina

and I told her
you're the most sensitive,

good-hearted dude I know.

Okay? She'd be lucky
to have a guy like you.

That's it?

No insult?

Nope.

And she wants to see you
again tonight.

Wow, thank you. I can't believe
you did that for me.

It must have been
really hard for you.

Oh, it was.
Worst moment of my life.

And I had to
rebuild your molecule.

You rebuilt the whole thing?

Yep.

Uh, Adam, this isn't a molecule.

It's a wiener dog.

You see science your way,
I see it my way.

That's a molecule.

Flo, I've got good news
and bad news.

Good news is I found your ring.

Bad news is
I sold it for gas money.

So there's one thing
that's still bothering us.

If everything we saw
was about a stupid food truck,

why were you acting so paranoid?

Because Flo and I
may have borrowed



I guess that all
actually makes sense.

Did you two really think

I would brutally
dispose of someone

and hide the evidence?

Yes.
Absolutely.

Wow.

You really get me.