04x18 - Ultimate Tailgate Challenge

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Hey, guys, I've got
some exciting news.

I got us all tickets to
the big college football game

this weekend at my alma mater.

Go, Pioneers! Whoo!

Trust me, guys,

it wasn't much better
from back here.

- Football? Pass.
- You're going.

Honey, if you wanted
a sports guy,

- you should've married one.
- Excuse me.

I mean, please don't leave me.
I'll go.

I can't believe I'm gonna have a
real-life college experience.

Ooh, I wanna be like
those kids on TV

who paint their faces
and scream into the camera.

Bree, please
do not embarrass us.

Everyone knows that the proper
way to enjoy a sporting event

is to clap politely,

not hoot and holler
like a buffoon.

Whoo, go, Tech!

She's at the ten, the five,

touchdown, Vikings!

[ Frenzied yelling ]

You went to Mission Creek Tech?

Best 12 years of my life.

And I was on the football team.

No way. They let girls
play back then?

Nope. Had to grow
a mustache and say I was

Tom from Ohio.

Ugh. Pioneers?

I knew there was a reason
I never liked you.

You went to my rival school.

Oh, yeah.
State's takin' Tech down.

In your dreams.

I just wish I could
be there to see it.

The game's been
sold out for weeks.

- You should talk to Tash...
- No, she shouldn't.

Do you have tickets?

Uh... no.

Good. Because I know,
if you did,

you'd invite your bestie Terry.

Right?

Did she say bestie or beastie?

You just said
you didn't like me.

I've grown as a person
since then. Come here.

Don't fight it.
Like me back.

The world's first
bionic superhumans.

They're stronger than us.

Faster.
Smarter.

The next generation
of the human race is...

living on a bionic island.

Come on, boys, let's go.

I want to get there early
so we can tailgate.

- [ Squeals ]
- Hey!

Who's ready to reluctantly
attend a sporting event?

I know I am.

Oh, I'm sorry, Bob.

I only have enough tickets
for our family.

- Oh, great.
- Immediate family.

- Fantastic.
- I don't have a ticket for you.

Sounds good.

If he's not going,
I'm not going.

Aw, you'd really do that for me?

Of course, man.
We're buds.

I'm not gonna leave you
here by yourself.

Then I guess we have
an extra ticket.

Oh, I'll take it.

I can't believe
I'm actually saying this,

but since we have
an extra ticket,

should we maybe
offer it to Perry?

[ Raucous laughter ]

[ sighs ] Well, it's
just you and me, Bob.

What do you wanna do today?

I know. I can
leave you here

while I go to
that football game.

I got an even better idea.

Go get the web cam.

- He's Bob.
- And he's Adam.

Welcome to Breaking Stuff
With Bob and Adam,

- the place where Bob...
- And Adam...

break stuff.

We're gonna break old
equipment from our junk room.

Like this laptop.

Not my new laptop.

This old speaker
is ten times bigger

than the ones we use today,

but not for long.

That was awesome!

Man, that was a great
first episode.

Wait, I was supposed
to be recording this?

Hi. I'm All-Pro
three-time Super Bowl champion

Willie McGinest,

and I'm standing next to
Pioneer Pete,

the oldest monument
in Mission Creek.

A hundred years ago,
Pioneer Pete saved the college

from a disastrous fire.

The remaining wood was used
to build this beloved statue.

[ Spectators cheering ]

Oh, to be back in college.

I had the best days
of my life here.

Other than the day you married

the Donald Davenport,
right, sweetie?

Get me my own island
and we'll talk.

Hey, why is everyone
staring at us?

Because they know we're bionic.

I am totally using
to get in with them.

Are you really that shallow?

You're gonna flaunt your bionics

just to impress a bunch
of tailgating gorillas?

Yes.

[ All booing ]

Leo, why are you wearing
the Vikings colors?

What do I know about
team colors?

Just be happy it's clean.

See, this is why you need
Mommy to pick out your clothes.

Hey, Dooley, nice threads.

Oh, great, I've been
looking for a grease rag.

What are you doing here?

I'm here for the Ultimate
Tailgate Challenge.

The winner scores tickets
for the big game.

And since I cook and eat
most of my food

in a parking lot already,
I'm a shoo-in.

For what, parasites?

Shut it, Frodo.

Behold, my tailgating
spectacular.

Great. I'm starving.

And now I am not.

You're cooking food on your car?

Better than anything
you ever cooked.

Ooh, check out
my rotisserie chicken.

So do you have a way
to cook them,

or are you more of
a raw bird kind of gal?

Mmm!

Delish!

Hey, what are you all
doin' here anyway?

The game's sold out.

[ All stammering ]

We came for the chicken.

[ Nervous laughter ]

Is that diesel?

Welcome back to
Breaking Stuff With Bob...

And Adam.

- He's still Bob.
- And I'm Bob.

It's time for old
Mr. Laser Disc Player

to meet my lasers.

Yeah!

That was incredible.

If we keep this up,
we'll be the number one

web show of the week.

Then less talking
and more breaking.

Yeah!

I think we ran out of stuff.

Hey, I know something
that'll get us

even more viewers
than breaking stuff.

Two bionic guys
with super strength

play catch with
the coffee table.

I like it.

Okay, Bob, just to warn you,

if you don't catch it,
you might get decapitated.

Hey, forget bionic superhumans.

We should be movers.

Okay, let's make this
more challenging.

- Bob, go long.
- On it.

Oh, no!

I think we scratched the table.

You know, if you don't
think about how it was cooked,

the chicken is actually
quite tasty.

Oh, I ran out of chicken.
That's falcon.

I'm done.

But you haven't even tried
my sausages yet.

You cooked them in the tailpipe?

You call it a tailpipe,
I call it a smoker.

Any time I see hot air
coming out of something,

the first thing I think is,
how can I put meat in there?

And to think
you're still single.

[ People cheering ]

Well, that's enough
E. coli for one day.

Time to go wow my college buds

with some bionic razzle dazzle.

[ Chanting ] M.C. State, M.C.
State!

Hey, guys, what's
everyone looking at?

- I can't hear you!
- M.C. State, M.C. State,

M.C. State,
M.C. State, M.C. State.

Chase?!

What are you doing?

I thought you said
flaunting your bionics

for attention was shallow.

It is, and I'm okay with that.

They like me.

Chase, Chase, Chase, Chase!

[ Cheering ]

Hey, guys, I just picked up
the tickets from Will Call.

They're on the 50-yard line.

Oh! I don't know
what that means,

but let's get outta here
before Perry sees them.

[ Growling ]

Please tell me there's a
four-foot pit bull behind us.

You have tickets?!

You lied to me.
How could you?

We're family.

Okay, fine, you can have
our extra ticket.

No. After you lied to me,
I want all of them. Gimme!

Ha! What do you know?
I caught 'em.

Gimme, gimme, gimme!

Those aren't the tickets.

- I'll get them.
- No way.

If I can't have them,
neither can you.

No!

Now that's a hot ticket.

Good news.
The chicken's still delish,

and the tickets are like
an extra layer of skin.

[ Booing ]

All right, keep walking.

- Can we just go home?
- No way.

I have been looking
forward to this for months.

There's gotta be a way
we can get into that game.

How? She ate our tickets!

Fifty-yard line?!

Then we are just gonna
have to do whatever it takes

to b*at Perry at that
Ultimate Tailgate Challenge.

Come on, Leo, let's go.

Team Davenport
is takin' you down.

Good luck. I've been
in the mouth of a shark,

a bear, and three kinds
of snake,

and they're all
grillin' on my car.

Bob, what are we gonna do?

If Mr. Davenport sees this, we're
gonna be in a lot of trouble.

I got it.

If we destroy everything
else in the academy,

he'll never even notice
the capsules.

Bob, that is a horrible idea.

We don't have time
to do all that.

Don't worry.

I've got something.

Does this look close?

That looks terrible.

You should try the duct tape.

Excuse me.

I'm judging the Ultimate
Tailgate Challenge.

You mind if I take
a look around?

Not at all, Big and Tall.

This is Perry's Meat Wagon.

Let's see, we've got
hamburgers, hanger steak...

Wait. What kind of
meat is that?

Hmm. Hard to tell.

On the way here, I took a
shortcut through the zoo.

Can you believe it?

This people actually
think I'm fun.

Me! I don't even
think I'm fun.

Isn't college awesome?

I wouldn't know. I haven't
talked to any of them

because you've been
hogging all the attention.

But you know what?
I have bionics, too.

Hey, guys, ever seen
a cheerleader at super speed?

Two, four, six, eight, go...

[ weakly ]
State.

[ All booing ]

Don't worry.
I'm still here.

[ Cheering ]

Ooh, is it over?

Wait. It couldn't be.

I just got here.

Who's booing now?

- Go, Vikings.
- Pioneers.

Pioneers. Go, Pioneers.

Hey, Perry, check this out.

And it's got satellite TV

with surround sound
for your viewing pleasure.

Oh... anyone thirsty?

It dispenses 30 different kinds
of beverages.

Who cares?
Nobody likes drinks.

And when the Pioneers win...

[ people cheering weakly ]

I said when the Pioneers win...

[ loud cheering ]

Push this one little button,
the hood pops up,

and we get a spectacular
fireworks display.

You should probably just
give me the tickets right now.

Well, clearly, your vehicle's
the one to b*at.

You know, we could combine
our tailgates

so that we both win the tickets.

- Really?
- Never!

Crank it up, Donald.

[ Dance music blaring ]

Mom, you're supposed to be
punishing her, not me.

Nice goin', Bob.

Replacing the broken capsules with
the ones from the dorm was genius.

Yeah. So what if other
students need them to survive.

That's tomorrow's problem.

Hey, I know we had fun today,

but do you think we might've
taken things too far?

Absolutely.
What's your point?

Well, I was thinking.

Even though we got away with it,

maybe next time, we shouldn't
do something so destructive.

You're right.

BOTH: And that was
Life Lessons With Bob and Adam.

Now back to breaking stuff.

Yeah!

Not my laptop, Bob.

Welcome back to
the Ultimate Tailgate Challenge.

It's come down to
these two finalists,

with the winner getting
six tickets to the big game.

Oh, yeah, nothin' better
than me and five empty seats.

[ Chanting ] Chase, Chase, Chase,
Chase, Chase, Chase, Chase!

You hear that?

They're chanting my name,

and not because
they're angry with me.

Great.

This was probably my one chance
to have a college experience,

and you're having
the day I wanted.

I know. Can you
take some pictures?

Bree.

Bree, wait.

Look, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean
to steal your thunder.

But there's no reason
we can't both have fun.

I have an idea.

Ready to do what no Mission
Creek State student

has ever been able to do before?

Oh, yeah.

Whoo!

She got the Viking mascot head.

- That was epic, Bree.
- [ all cheering ]

However, it is
technically stealing,

so I'm gonna have to return it

- to its rightful owner.
- [ all booing ]

Ah! And once again,

everything is right
with the world.

M.C. State,
M.C. State!

I'm out of mustard.

Can I trade you
this bottle of ketchup?

I found it under a bridge,
so you know it's good.

Sorry. We don't need
your ketchup.

[ Growling ]

This is what happens
when you try to be nice.

Seriously? I just
put this on!

[ Booing ]

Leo, stop.

They think you're defacing
the Pioneer mascot.

Oh, no. No!

- [ Booing ]
- The judge is coming over.

He's gonna think
they're booing us.

He's not with us.

- Boo!
- Come on!

Mom.

Sorry, honey.

I just really
want those tickets.

Boo!!

Really? That's how
it's gonna be?

Hey, Perry, want some help?

Yes. This is my number.

Give it to
Mr. McGinest,

and tell him not to
call after 9:00.

Dooley, these aren't right.

My kabobs need to be
flame-broiled.

I got this.

Mm. That's delicious.

You just sacked my taste buds.

That's not fair.
He's using bionics.

I gotta find a way
to cook these things faster.

Throw some frank-burgers
in the tailpipe.

I gotta find a way
to turn the heat up.

Donald, be careful.

I'm fine. I just need
to make it hotter.

That may have been
the wrong button.

What do you mean,
the wrong button?

Duck!

Oh, love the fireworks show.

Especially when it lit
Pioneer Pete on fire.

Burn, Petey, burn!

Did I win?

And since there was so much
fire damage to the stadium,

they had to cancel the game.

- You're going to the next one.
- Yes, dear.

I'm gonna go take a shower.

My body paint is running...

off campus.

I should take one, too.

I still smell like
Perry's diesel dogs.

Man, I can't believe
you guys started a fire.

Talk about careless.

Very irresponsible.

Hey, guys, look,
they're showing it on TV.

And since there's no game
highlights to show you

please enjoy the most
popular web clip of the week.

Whoa, those actors
look just like us.