01x12 - On the Road Again?

[bunniefuu]

Darling, are you done packing
yet? We gotta get to the airport.

Uh, almost got it!

-Daddy, got any room in your suitcase?
-No.

-But what about that_ -No.

-But what about the_ -No.

Excuse me, Miss Montana;

There's a girl out here who wants to see you.

Claims she's Maddie from the candy counter.

You want me to tell her you're not here?

But she's right there; I can see her.

Not if her bodyguard says you can't.

Sorry, Hannah, can't see you.

[whispering] By the way, love the top.

Hey, Roxy, she's a friend
of mine. She can come in.

You're in luck. She's here.

Hey, I got my eyes on you.

Hey, Maddie, just the tush I've been looking for.

Can you close my suitcase?

Wait till I tell my friends that I
sat on Hannah Montana's suitcase.

[Exclaims]

You're not heavy enough. Here.

Hold these phone books.

[Sighs]

I just wanted to say goodbye
and thanks for the tickets.

Your concert was awesome.

Thanks. Now bounce up and down.

Well, we are a full-service hotel.

♪ ♫ ♪
♪ I want my mullet back ♪

♪ My old Camaro and my eight-track ♪

Wow, that guy sounds just like
the singer my mom used to listen to.

Oh, what did they call him? You
know, the "h*nky-Tonk Heartthrob."

Oh, you're talking about Robbie Ray?

Yeah, yeah, that's the guy.
He had a couple of top 10 songs.

Actually, three number ones, two top fives,

Music Video of the Year. But who's counting?

Oh, my gosh! You're Robbie Ray.

My mom thought you were dead.

She's gonna be so excited you're alive!

I'm kind of happy about that myself.

Yeah, what about we take some
of the happy and put it over here?

I'm on the case.

So, why aren't you still performing?

Oh, no, this old dog stopped
howling a long time ago.

Howling Dogs. That was my mom's favorite album.

-Don't you miss singing?
-Maybe a little.

Wow. It must've taken something huge

to make you walk away from a career like that.

Yeah, it did.

These days, my life's all about
managing Hannah Montana.

That's just the way I like it.

Well, darling, we got a plane to catch.

Let's get ready to head for the airport.

Man, I couldn't live with myself

if I knew I was the person holding
Robbie Ray back from howling again.

Wow.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

Hope you enjoyed your stay at the Tipton Hotel.

Holding him back?
[DOOR CLOSING]

Well, not for long.

[Grunts]

[yelling]

♫

♪ Come on! ♪

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ Hottest styles, every shoe, every color ♪

♪ Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ It's really you but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ Who would have thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ Would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ Then you rock out the show ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Mix it all together ♪

♪ And you know that it's the best of both worlds ♪

[Laughing]

I can't believe this is your dad.

It's lucky records were so big.

There's no way you'd fit all that hair on a CD.

It's called a mullet.

"Business in the front, a
party in the back." Oh, yeah!

Before your dad was a dad, he was cool.

Before my dad was a dad, he was an accountant.

"Addition in front, subtraction in the back."

-That's not the same, is it?
-No.

You should've seen the look on his face
when that girl in Boston recognized him.

I don't care what he says. I
know he misses being on stage.

[gasps]

He even had his own doll!

[DOLL:] Yeah, doggies.

You guys. You guys, you
gotta check this out. Look.

It's labeled "Robbie Palooza."

Cool, Dad had his own palooza.

-My dad had his own calculator.
-Yeah.

[♫-ROCKABILLY MUSIC PLAYING]

Look how much fun he's having.

I can't believe it. You've got
a great voice, he's awesome.

What's your talent?

Oh, uh, well, I don't like to brag, but, uh...

[clearing throat]

[FARTING]

[GIRLS EXCLAIMING]

And when I'm clammy, I can do it behind my knees.

[FARTING]

Ew!

Slow down, Son, gonna give yourself another rash.

Whoa, Robbie Palooza.

What are you watching this old thing for?

Mr. Stewart, you were incredible. What happened?

I mean, why aren't you still performing?

That was a long time ago.

These days, I got my hands full

watching over Miley and Sir Toots-A-Lot.

Come on, Dad, we're practically adults.

I mean, if you wanna go back
out and howl with the dogs,

there's nothing holding you back.

Sweetheart, that was 10 years ago.

I bet my old manager doesn't
even remember my name.

[Doorbell ringing-♪]
Robbie Ray, open this door!

Well, is that your old manager, Marty Klein?

I believe it is.

What a weird coinkidink.

You guys are smooth.

Where is my h*nky-Tonk Heartthrob?

There he is. Look at you.

You look exactly the same. No, you look better.

I hate you. I love you. Give me a hug.

Madman Marty, the one man party.

-I've missed you, old buddy.
-Stop it, you'll make me cry.

And look,

there's handsome young Jackson.

And pretty little Miley,

who I have not spoken to or had
contact with in any way whatsoever.

Especially on the phone.

It's okay, Marty. He knows I called you.

Good, 'cause I'm a terrible liar.

Hi, sweetheart. Blondes are big this year.

If you got any talent, call me.

So, Marty; Got anything
interesting to tell my father?

Don't rush me, kid. I'm
building to the big finish.

Okay.

So, I called The Roadhouse in San Diego.

You say the word and all next week,

you, Robbie Ray, are the special guest star.

Ladies and gentlemen, Marty Klein!

Whoa, let's just slow down a minute.

You walked away at the top because
you wanted to be with your babies.

Well, take a look.

They're not babies anymore.

I believe Mr. Klein is correct, Father.

Oh, come on, Dad, you know
you wanna be on stage again.

-Here's your chance.
-Think about it, handsome.

You, the lights, the stage,

the screaming crowd.

Robbie! Robbie! Robbie!

Okay, okay, okay. I appreciate
what you all are trying to do, but...

You'll think about it. Fantastic.
That's all I wanted to hear.

And now, I'm leaving before I hear anything else.

Goodbye, good luck. Ladies
and gentlemen, Marty Klein!

So, you've thought about it, you'll do it!

You'll love me for thinking of it!

Ladies and gentlemen, Miley Stewart!

Come on.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

Even if I was considering singing again,

I'd get up on that stage and I
wouldn't even know what to say.

Oh, I do.

[DOLL:] Y'all ready to howl with the dog?

[HOWLING]

♪ I want my mullet back ♪

♪ My old Camaro and my eight-track ♪

♪ Fuzzy dice hanging loose and proud ♪

♪ ZZ Top, they're playing loud ♪

You are the meanest man I have ever met!

Why?

To keep a talent so incredibly awesome as this

away from a world that needs you so desperately.

It's just so selfish.

I can't even look at you.

Okay, darling,

let's say I was thinking about singing again.

I can't take you guys with me and I sure
can't leave you home alone for a week.

And you won't have to.

I did a little research, made a few phone calls,

and I think I came up with the perfect solution.

May I present, direct from the
International House of Nannies,

the lovely and responsible Inga.

[SPEAKING IN SWEDISH]

Nice try, Jackson,

but there's no way I can leave this
young lady here alone to nanny you.

You know, I thought you might say that.

Which is why I hired three nannies.

[SPEAKING IN SWEDISH]

Now, I don't know about you,
but I feel very, very, very nannied.

Ladies, I appreciate you taking
the time to come over here,

but this just isn't gonna work out.

[SPEAKING IN SWEDISH]

Robbie Ray was huge in Sweden.

Robbie Ray?

[IN SWEDISH ACCENT] h*nky-Tonk Heartthrob?

Ja, ja.

One thing.

You only had one thing to get.

Yeah, and I got three.

Forgive me for being an overachiever.

[IMITATING SWEDISH ACCENT] So, ladies, who wants

to go boogie boarding with the
son of the h*nky-Tonk Heartthrob?

You betcha.

By golly.

Ja, ja.

Yeah, come on.

Come on, Daddy. I know you really wanna do this.

Miley, why you pushing so hard?

Because I know the way I feel when I'm on stage.

I mean, don't you remember that
feeling? Don't you want it again?

-Of course I do, but...
-But nothing.

"But" is just a word you
use when you're afraid to try.

That's something I learned from my daddy.

Oh, so now you listen to me.

And you should, too.

Okay, if you wanna know the
truth, I did make some calls,

but I just couldn't find anybody
I trust to watch you kids.

So you're saying if you
could find someone, you'd go?

Sure. It would be fun,
but it's just not in the cards.

Well, shuffle them again, Daddy,

and say hello to my backup plan.

Don't worry, hot stuff. Roxy
will take care of everything.

You just go get your mullet back.

Okay, kids, I'll see you at the end of the week

when you come down for
the last show. Wish me luck.

-Hey, knock them dead, Dad.
-You're gonna do great.

What a beautiful scene.

A man and his children
sharing a heartfelt goodbye.

You know what it reminds me of?

The fact that my car is
running and gas is $3 a gallon!

Let's move!

"Ladies and gentlemen, Marty Klein!"

-Good luck, Dad.
-Bye, Daddy, love you.

Do you believe it? Dad's actually
gonna go out and perform again.

I just wish we didn't have to
wait a whole week to see him.

Yeah, I'm in agony.

And I'm over it.

Oh, Cooper's throwing a party. Don't wait up.

Oh, can you drop me off at Lilly's?

Slow your roll, children.
Your daddy left me in charge.

And that means, until he gets
home, you're not leaving my sight.

I got my eyes on you.

What exactly does she mean by that?

Good night, kids.

Good night, Roxy.

[Snoring]

My eyes may be closed,
but my brain is on red alert.

[Snoring]

Hi-ya!

[REVEILLE PLAYING]

What is going on?!

-What time is it?
-6:00 a.m.

It's time for our morning jog.

-Jog?
-Jog?

Mmm-hmm.

Now, let's get on those running
shoes and move, move, move!

You're in Roxy's army now.

[TRUMPETING]

Hurry up. Last one down has
to stretch out my hamstrings.

I still can't believe your dad
was up on stage last night.

So, how did it go?

Did he call?

Jackson?

[Snoring]

Boy, you're really out.

Don't even think about it.

Roxy was like this all night.

[Snoring]
Hi-ya!

[Snoring]

Hi-ya!

-Couldn't you just tell her to lighten up?
-[whispering] Oh, sure.

I tell her to lighten up,
she gets upset, she leaves,

Dad has to come home early, and
once again, I've ruined his dream.

Why are we whispering?

Because Roxy's everywhere.

Because she's got her eyes on me.

Okay, now you're just paranoid.
I don't see her anywhere.

Oh, yeah? Here. Hit me with this magazine.

What?

Just do it. Trust me, I'll be fine.

Okay.

[ROXY SHOUTING]

[Screaming]

Roxy's like a puma.

I can't do this anymore.

It's only five more days. Just do it for Dad.

-Okay.
-And shift.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Roxy, I didn't think that the Marines did yoga.

Oh, I didn't learn this in the Corps. Mmm-mmm.

I learned it when I was touring India
with world famous cellist Yo-Yo Ma.

He calls me his "Yo-Yo Mama." Ahha.. Ahha

-This hurts.
-Oh, it's supposed to.

Feel that negative energy leaving your body.

Get out all that frustration and anger.

Yeah.

-Mmm. Now, doesn't that feel good?
-Uh-huh.

Yeah, in about an hour you'll be able to do this.

[CRUNCHING]

Ooh, I need a pedicure.

[Doorbell ringing-♪]
-Uh, I'll get it.

Yeah, you better. It's gonna take
me a little while to get out of this.

[Exclaims]

Hey, Jackson; Going to the
movies. Thought you might wanna_

-Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
-Now where do you think you're going?

To the movies with my friends. Please?

Okay, okay, I get it.

It's Saturday, you wanna have a good time.

I'm not gonna stop you.

-Really?
-Really. Just let me get my purse.

Miley, come on, we're going to the movies.

Oh, no. No, no, no. No way.

Uh, Roxy, I'm not really up for a movie.

And besides, I wanna learn
that... The foot thing you just did.

You know, I've always
wanted to bite my own toenails.

Mmm-mmm. I promised
your dad I'd watch both of you,

and both of you is who I'm gonna watch.

-But, I...
-Listen, I just need an aisle seat, okay?

Roxy loves the big drink, but
the big drink don't love Roxy.

Oh, you know what? We
just remembered we got to...

[stuttering] Because, you know...

Bye.

But wait...

I can't believe you just did that.

-I cannot believe_!
-You're angry, aren't you?

-Yeah!
-That yoga didn't work for you, did it?

No.

That's because you need some
acupuncture. I'll go get my needles.

That's it. Five days? I can't
take five more minutes of this.

-Jackson, where are you going?
-San Diego.

♪ I want my daddy back ♪

Jackson! [Grunts]

Jackson, you don't think that I miss him, too?

The way he sings to us in the
morning when he's making us pancakes,

how happy he is when we come home from school.

No one's called me "Bud" in 48 hours.

Well, that's why I'm going to get him.

But, Jackson, it's not about what
we want. It's about what he wants.

Jackson! [Grunts]

Turn around, girl, we gotta stop that boy.

-But, Roxy, how did you...
-Look, I just don't have my eyes on you.

I got my ears on you, too.

Let's move. It's a long drive.

[♫-COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]

[crowd cheering]

♪ I want my mullet back ♪

♪ My old Camaro and my eight-track ♪

♪ Fuzzy dice hanging loose and proud ♪

♪ ZZ Top, they're playing loud ♪

♪ A simpler time, that's what I miss ♪

♪ Your mini-skirt and your sweet kiss ♪

♪ Things have changed, man that's a fact ♪

♪ I want my mullet back ♪

-Have you said anything to him yet?
-No, I just got here.

Oh, he's really good.

Are you kidding? He's great.

Quiet. Robbie Ray's got his groove on.

Howl, doggy! Howl!

♪ I want my mullet back ♪

♪ My old Camaro and my eight-track ♪

Let's go, let the man rest. Go, go, go!

Now!

Hey, guys, what are you doing here?

Everything all right?

Well, the, uh, truth is...

Jackson.

We just couldn't wait to hear you play.

-You were so great, Dad.
-I'm proud of you.

Thanks, baby, but you know

I would've never have got
back up there if it wasn't for you.

Guess what I just heard?

Toby Keith has a new opening act.

You know who it is? Don't guess, I'll tell you.

It's you.

-Me?
-Six beautiful weeks.

One of which is in, yes! Hawaii!

Ladies and gentlemen, Marty Klein!

Six weeks?

-Wow, that's_
-Awesome.

So incredibly awesome; Really.

They're gonna love you in Hawaii.

Excuse me, Jackson.

Miley, wait up!

You kids sure must love your dad

if you're willing to do six weeks of Roxy Time.

Six weeks?

Hey, Bud. You all right?

-I'm sorry.
-For what? For crying?

Hey, if you don't want me to go, just say so.

Daddy, you gave up your whole
life so I could have my dream.

How can I stop you from having yours?

You kids are my dream.

I didn't give up my career 'cause I had to.

I gave it up 'cause I wanted to.

But I saw you up here tonight.

You did so good and you looked so happy.

I was.

But I was a lot happier when I saw
you kids coming through the door.

So, does that mean you don't
want to do the tour anymore?

Six weeks away from you kids?

I think I'd miss you too much.

We'd miss you, too.

Well, maybe you can just do
the Hawaii part and take us.

Mom, quick, get the curlers out of your hair!

Robbie Ray is still here!

[Screaming]

Too close, candy girl.

[Screaming]
Ahhhh!

[Crashing]

I want my mullet back

♪ My old Camaro and my eight-track ♪

♪ Fuzzy dice hanging loose and proud ♪

♪ ZZ Top, they're playing loud ♪

♪ [FARTING] ♪

♪ A simpler time, that's what I miss ♪
♪ [FARTING] ♪

♪ Your mini-skirt and your sweet kiss ♪
♪ [FARTING] ♪

♪ Things have changed, man and that's a fact ♪

♪ [FARTING] ♪
♪ I want my mullet back ♪

♪ I want my mullet back ♪