01x22 - We Are Family, Now Get Me Some Water!

[bunniefuu]

♪ We haven't met, and that's okay ♪

'Cause you will be asking for me one day
[Police siren wailing-♫]

[Police siren wailing-♫]

[Tiress creeching]

[Imitating Edward G. Robinson]
You'll never take me alive, coppers!

[Exclaims]

♫ Don't want to wait in line

The moment is mine, believe me

[Car horn blaring]

Out of the way, Grandma,
got the po-po on my tail.

Jackson; I'm trying to rehearse for
the American Teen Music Awards.

Yeah. Yeah, don't worry, you're not bothering me.

But you're bothering me.
-Oh, right.

Don't care.

Look out, cow!

[Tiress creeching]

[Cow mooing]

Look at that heifer fly.
Right into the marching band!

[Marching band playing]

[Crashing]

Hey, Jackson, you know, you have a real car.

Here's a thought.

Get in it and drive away!

Well, I would if I had real
gas, which costs real money

which Rico doesn't pay me a real lot of.

Ask Rico for a raise.

[In country accent]
Ask for a raise.

Gee, that sounds like a good idea.

Oh, wait. I did!

It's not gonna happen.

Rico's vicious, ruthless
and completely inflexible.

[Tango music playing-♫]
♫

He looks pretty flexible to me.

[Groans]

To me, he looks like a very lonely munchkin.

Well, Jackson can't leave the house

unless that munchkin gives him a raise.

Then maybe finally, I can
get some rehearsing done.

Wish me luck.

[Imitating Munchkin] Remember,
follow the yellow brick road.

Hey, Rico, that is one lucky broom.

Can it, toots. I'm working on my tango.

Have you gotten taller?

Your brother's not getting a raise.

I wasn't going to say that.

Okay, fine, I was. But...
-All right, I'll make you a deal, honey.

I'll ask my dad to give him a raise,

if you'll be my dance partner for
my ballroom dance competition.

[Laughing] Ballroom dancing?

Laugh all you want. Chicks dig it.

And I dig chicks.

So, what do you say?

You wash my back, I wash your brother's.

Okay, first...

[Exclaims in disgust]
Ew!

And second, I think it's
"scratch my back." And third...

[Exclaiming in disgust]
Ewwww!

Fine. No dance partner, no raise.

Okay, fine, then no more sMiley Miley.

Listen here, bub, my brother's
sick of being pushed around by you,

and he ain't gonna work here
anymore unless you give him a raise.

Okay, okay, you win.
-I do?

Yeah. He's fired.

Really?

♫

♪ Come on! ♪

♪ You get the limo out front ♪

♪ Hottest styles, every shoe, every color ♪

♪ Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun ♪

♪ It's really you but no one ever discovers ♪

♪ Who would have thought that a girl like me ♪

♪ Would double as a superstar? ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Chill it out, take it slow ♪

♪ Then you rock out the show ♪

♪ You get the best of both worlds ♪

♪ Mix it all together ♪

♪ And you know that It's the best of both worlds ♪

[Laughing]

Hey, Jackson, where you going?

Well, I was heading to Jessica
Alba's for movies and kettle corn,

but then I decided I'd rather spend six hours

making minimum wage at Rico's.

[Stammering]

Wait, wait. You know what? I've been thinking.

And you are right. That little
runt doesn't pay you enough.

I think you should quit.

I'm not gonna quit.
-You're right!

He isn't worth your time
or trouble. I'll quit for you.

Miley...
-No need to thank me, brother.

That's why we're here.

Miley? What did you do?

Well...

See, I may have asked Rico to give you a raise,

and it may have not gone as well as I'd hoped.

Oh, great, what did that little
weasel do? Cut back my hours?

Just a tad.

Don't worry, Jackson, as soon as Rico sees

how dead this place is without
you he'll beg for you to come back.

Or not.

What happened? How did it get so busy?

Simple. I brought in a professional.

Here you are. Two fresh waters for miladies.

I gotta tell you,

getting rid of this piece of seaweed
was the best thing I ever did.

Look, Rico, I want my job back.

Again with the lifting!

Look, I'm sorry, this wasn't my fault.

He's right. It was mine.

There's got to be something I can do.

Hey, do you still need a dance partner?

Too late, angel face.

This is Carmen. She's from Argentina.

Land of Tango.

[Imitating Rico] Great. Thanks
to you, I'm from Flatbroke,

the land of unemployment.

[Robbie whoops]
Whooow!

Oh, yeah. Man, this jalopy races

faster than Uncle Earl's
heart at a Shakira concert!

I can't believe this!
-I'm not playing it.

I'm just making sure it's age appropriate

like any good parent should.

Jackson; I'm sorry.

Sorry doesn't pay the bills, sister.

No, that would be me.

Somebody want to tell me what's going on here?

I just got fired.
-Oh, no, Jackson.

What did you do?
-I didn't do anything.

You did.
-Me?

Yeah, you had to have a second kid,

and now little miss bigmouth just got me fired.

Is that true, Mile?
-Dad; I was just trying to help.

And besides, Jackson, I said I was sorry.

What else do you want from me?

I don't know...

A job?

I'm a kid! How am I supposed to get you a job?

Unless you want to be like

[Laughing] Hannah Montana's
assistant or something.

I'll take it.
-What?

The job. It's perfect.
-No. No, it's not.

I'm your little, bigmouthed sister.

You don't want to be my assistant.

You're right. Assistant is demeaning.

Let's go with Senior Vice
President in charge of...

Assistication.

I'll start tomorrow at 9:00.

Wait, better make that 10:00.

I gotta get me some business cards made.

[Tiress creeching]

What just happened?

I just hit an armadillo,

and Hannah just got herself

a new Senior Vice President of Assistication.

But I don't need an assisticant!

Well, you should've thought of
that before you offered him the job.

This is a horrible idea.
-Yeah. Probably is.

Guess you better get up there and fire him.

Dad; I can't! I already cost him one job today,

I can't fire him from
another. That would be awful.

You do it.

Oh, no. You made this mess, you
gotta go up there and clean it up.

But, Daddy; I can't.

That's the deal, bud.
-Okay.

Okay, fine.

I'm gonna go up there
and tell him. I can be strong.

I'm gonna go up there and say...
Daddy, please, help me, bail me out.

Do I always have to learn something?

Honey, I'm just trying to teach
you how to be a mature adult.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I got
a po-po roadblock in front of me

and an army of evil turkeys on my tail.

[Police siren wailing-♫]

Jackson, come on, where's the limo?

We're gonna be late for the CD signing!

Chillax. I'm on it right now, boss!

Wow, Jackson is your assistant.

This is a horrible idea.

I'm talking your dad's old mullet horrible.

Lilly.

I know. "It was a different
time, the chicks dug it."

Lilly, stop.

Right. We were talking about you hiring Jackson.

Horrible, horrible, horrible.

Lilly; I'm trying to give Jackson a chance.

I mean, it's the least I can do.

And besides, I could use a little support here.

You're right. You're being a very good sister.

And who knows, maybe he'll rise to the occasion.

Do you really believe that?

Do you want support or the
truth? Make up your mind.

No. No. No. This is absolutely
unacceptable, all right?

And I can tell you that Hannah Montana

will never use your limo company again.

Good day, sir. I said good day!

Jackson; What happened?
-They don't have a limo.

And they're saying it's my fault
because I didn't make a reservation.

Can you believe that?

I know I do.

You didn't make a reservation?

Miley, the company's called
"Ready When You Are Limos"

not "Ready When You Are
Limos If You Make A Reservation."

I think it's pretty clear who's at fault here.

[Mouthing] Horrible.
-Zip it.

Jackson, what am I gonna do now?
-Look, it's not a problem.

I'll just drive you to the CD signing in my car.

Just sit in the back, close your
eyes, it'll feel just like a limo.

Again, really sorry about the
whole convertible top thing.

Hi, everybody.

You have a little something in your teeth.

[Exclaims in disgust]
It's a fly.

[Both exclaiming in disgust]

Nasty.

[Tango music playing] ♫

[Yelping]

Come on, 'mamacita.' No pain, no gain.

Here you are, ladies.

My newest concoction, the Smokin' Oken Smoothie.

Cool enough for the hottest babes on the beach.

Excuse me. Coming through!

Knew him when he was a dork.!

What's cr*ck-a-lackin', 'Lilay'?

What is wrong with you?

Face it, Lilly. I found my new thang.

And I'm working it.

Well, work your way over
and get me two bottles of water.

Two bizzles of wizzle for the Lizzle.

I'm going to bizzle you if
you don't knock that off.

Don't be a playa hater, skater!

Ha! You mizzled.

[Tango music-♫]
♫

♫

[Screaming]
Ahh!

[Dancer:] -Ay, papi.
-Stop whining, Carmen!

Just pop your shoulder back in and let's rumba.

Come on, Jackson, answer your phone.

[Cell phone ringing-♪]

I can hear it ringing.

[Ringing-♪ continues]

Why can I hear it ringing?

That's why.

[In country accent] Why, hello
there. You've reached Jackson,

Hannah Montana's assisticant.

I can't do any assisticating right
now 'cause I forgot my phone.

[Mock laughter]

Stupid Jackson!
-What'd he do now?

Oh, he picked up Hannah's dry cleaning.

What's wrong with that?
-Then he dropped it in the parking lot.

Horrible!
-Stop saying that!

I have to perform at the American
Teen Music Awards tonight,

and all I can think about is
Jackson getting me there late,

or bringing the wrong wig, or clogging up

the green room toilet and
blaming it on the Dixie Chicks.

Why don't you just fire him?
-I know, I have to.

And I will. First thing tomorrow.

Miley...

All right, fine. You're right.

As soon as he walks in that door,
I'm gonna say, " Jackson, you are..."

Carrying a balloon heart bouquet.
-Yeah.

Look, I just wanted to say that I know
I screwed up a few times this week.

And anybody else probably
would've let me go, but you didn't.

And that means a lot to me. So, thanks.

Wow, Jackson, you got me earrings.

He got me earrings.
-Oh, no. They're beautiful.

I know. It's horrible.

And I don't even care how many paychecks

it takes me to pay them off, it's worth it.

Just to know that you believe in me.
-Uh-huh.

I do.

You betcha.

Well, I'm just gonna go double check on that limo

for tomorrow night's awards show.

It's tonight.
-Yeah. I'm all over it.

How can I fire him after this?

Too bad you can't give him some
stupid job at the awards show,

so when he screws up, it doesn't matter.

Oh, come on, Lilly, that's just brilliant!

I know.

ANNOUNCER ON PA: Hannah
Montana rehearsal. Take one.

[Rock music playing] ♫

♪ We haven't met, and that's okay ♪

♪ 'Cause you will be asking for me one day ♪

♪ Don't want to wait in line ♪

♪ The moment is mine, believe me ♪

♪ Don't close your eyes ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a chance worth takin' ♪

♪ And I think that I can shake you ♪

♪ I know where I stand I know who I am ♪

♪ I would never run away when life gets bad ♪

♪ It's everything I see Every part of me ♪

♪ Gonna get what I deserve ♪

♪ I got nerve ♪

♪ Electrified, I'm on a wire ♪

♪ Getting together and we're on fire ♪

♪ What I said you heard ♪

♪ Now I got you spinning ♪

♪ And don't close your mind ♪

♪ The words I use are open ♪

♪ And I think that I can show you... ♪

Okay. That's enough.

Great rehearsal, Sean.
-You too, Hannah.

Take ten. You deserve it. So do I.

Great job. Come on down.

Hey. So, what else do you need me to do, boss?

You want me to check the sound board?

Inspect the trap doors?

Make sure none of those big
heavy lights come crashing down,

during your number?
-No, no, no.

Get away from the trap doors,
and stay away from the lights, and...

Well, stay away from everything. Everything.

So what am I supposed to do?
-I've got a very special job for you.

It's the only thing I need you to do today.

Nothing else. Just this.

Everything else, once again,

stay away.

Bring it.
-Okay.

I want you to go to every
single member of the crew

and tell them how much I
appreciate their hard work.

That's it? That doesn't
seem like a very important job.

Oh, no, no. Trust me, it's important.

Good will makes for a good set.

Good set makes for a good show.

And a good show makes for a happy pop star.

Okay.

Oh, and if you finish, go around again!

And again! And again! Spread the love!

You know, sooner or later,

you're gonna have to face the music and fire him.

No, no, no. Not anymore,

I found an easy fix for this.

I found out a way to utilize
Jackson to the best of his abilities.

By giving him jobs to do that he can't screw up?

Exactly.

You tell Hannah Montana I love her, too.

Whatever you say.

Please put me down.

[Groans]

So keep up the good work and remember,

Hannah loves you.
[Exclaims in pain]

You got a kink in your neck?

You want me to fix that for you?
-You can do that?

Yeah, sure. No problem.
Just turn around, relax, and...

[Back craking]

I didn't do it!

My back!

What you do?
-I don't know.

It worked when Scooby did it to Shaggy!

That's a cartoon!
-No, I was talking about my cousins.

Look, just try to walk it off.
-Yeah, I would, if I could walk.

Man, I can't dance like this.

I gotta go tell Hannah.
-No, no, no!

What you need to do is you need
to find someplace to go lie down.

Out of sight.

Where no one can find you.
-No. But Hannah said that...

No. Don't worry, I'll tell Hannah
everything she needs to know.

Mmm-mmm. She should hear it from me.

I mean, you said we're friends right?

No, she hates you.
-What?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the whole appreciation thing?

It was my idea. You should
probably just go. Go on, git.

Put a little ice on that. And heat.

Ice then heat. Stretch.

Hey. Hannah loves you.

Hannah loves you. You're her favorite...

Sweeper guy.

ANNOUNCER ON PA: And now performing her new hit,

I Got Nerve, teen pop sensation,

Hannah Montana!

[Rock music playing] ♫

♪ We haven't met, and that's okay ♪

♪ 'Cause you will be asking for me one day ♪

♪ Don't want to wait in line ♪

♪ The moment is mine, believe me ♪

♪ Don't close your eyes ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a chance worth takin' ♪

♪ And I think that I can shake you ♪

♪ I know where I stand I know who I am ♪

♪ I would never run away when life gets bad ♪

♪ It's everything I see Every part of me ♪

♪ Gonna get what I deserve ♪

♪ I got nerve ♪

Get out.
-It's going good.

♪ Electrified, I'm on a wire ♪

♪ Getting together and we're on fire ♪

♪ What I said you heard ♪

♪ Now I got you spinning ♪

♪ Don't close your eyes ♪

♪ The words I use are open ♪

♪ And I think that I can_ ♪

Jackson!

I'm fired, aren't I?
-Ya think?

What's the matter with you, son?

You didn't even try to miss
the one-legged chicken.

And he's just hopping in one place.

Who cares? I'll probably just mess it up

like I messed up being Hannah's assisticant.

First of all, "assisticant" ain't a word.

And second, don't be down

just because things didn't
work out with you and your sister.

It doesn't mean you're gonna mess up everything.

You did great down at Rico's.
-I know, and I liked it, too.

Well, maybe that's why you were good at it.

It doesn't matter anymore.

I'll never get that job back.

Daddy; I feel awful.

I opened my big mouth and got him fired,

then opened it and got him
hired, and then fired again.

Maybe I should just keep my big mouth shut.

Oh, honey, let's face it.

You'll never be able to keep that big mouth shut.

[Stammers]

I know!

It's okay, bud. Just remember,
next time before you say something,

just think it through.

You're right.

Wait a minute, I think I know how to fix this.

Now, slow down, bud.
-Right again.

Let me really think it through
before I open my big mouth this time.

Yep, that'll work! Let's go!

I know how to get Jackson's job back at Rico's.

How are you going to do that?
-Easy.

I just gotta make a deal with the little devil.

[Tango music playing] ♫

♫

♫

♫

Now that's how you dip, ya dip.

Look at that.

No style. No presentation. No flair.

I can't believe I lost my job to him.

That'll be $3, milady.